Hi, this is Keisong -gun, and I welcome you this Monday to Radio Headspace.
As an introverted extrovert, I don't have a ton of really close friends or even close acquaintances.
I can really count them all on my hands.
And those close relationships I really really cherish.
Sometimes in life, even though we are close to someone, if they aren't serving us in a positive way, then the wisest and healthiest decision is to just let that relationship go.
And this is one of the hardest things to do.
But the more we hold on, the more toxicity and stress accumulates in our life, and we're back to the realization that we have to let this relationship go.
But it's hard so we continue to hold on.
And before you know it, we find ourselves in a never ending stress loop.
But no fear. Mindfulness is here to help.
Which reminds me of a story I'd like to share with you.
When I was an outpatient psychotherapist, I remember having a patient who was in this exact type of toxic and stressful snowball.
She was a young woman in her twenties and was in a romantic relationship with her high school sweetheart.
She considered him to be her soulmate, and according to her, he felt the same way.
However, he had an odd way of expressing it.
He was emotionally abusive to her, constantly belittling her and making her feel like she wasn't enough.
He would apologize, he would buy her a gift or some other kind of loving gesture, and they would make up.
That's until he would abuse her again and then it was rinse and repeat.
Fortunately, she was eventually able to get out of that relationship by using the mindfulness and meditation practices that I taught her.
It What mindfulness allows us to do is bring awareness to every single moment of our day.
What is happening right now?
What am I feeling right now in this moment?
And it also teaches us to create space between what happens to us and our behavior.
It's in this space where we can ask the important questions.
Is this serving me in a positive way?
Do I want this in my life?
Am I happy? Taking a few deep breaths is an excellent way to create this space I speak of.
Once you have the answers to these questions, then you can come up with a wise and skillful decision, remembering our lives are created each moment by the choices we are making each moment.
Now we are all human, so the hard part is following through with that decision or that choice.
Because we love this person, whether romantically or platonically, letting them go can be extremely difficult.
That's where the meditation practice comes into play.
I like to use sports to illustrate this point.
With any sport, the athlete practices and practices and practices, but for what?
It's for when he's playing in the actual game.
Well, let's think of our everyday lives as the actual game.
Remembering that mindfulness, it's a way of being a lifestyle.
In order for us to be mindful in our everyday lives, we have to practice at it.
Formal meditation is that practice, so that the meditation practice, the awareness and the resilience that's cultivated with the practice bleeds into our everyday lives and we're able to make the hard choices and decisions that will benefit us most, like letting that toxic relationship go.
And again, we're all human.
There will be relapses and slip -ups, if you will, so always remembering to be gentle with yourself.
And if you're looking for ways to add mindfulness to your life or if you just need a refresher, there's the basics course right there in the search for listening today.
And I really hope this was helpful.
And please shoot me any question that you have about mindfulness, meditation and really life in general.
I'm on Instagram at KGISKOMBE.
And my email is askksonga at headspace .com.
I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow.
Take care.
