I woke up to snowfall this morning and I couldn't help but feel like I was living in a little snow globe from a fairytale world.
These simple joys are what keeps my heart light during long, dark winters.
It's interesting how such a harsh time of year can also be so beautiful, so refreshing a call to relax your body and cozy up along with the forest creatures.
Thank you.
Little did I know that within a few hours, this pleasant snowfall would turn into a winter storm that would keep me indoors for several days watching the ice pelt my kitchen window and gusts of wind violently pulling the snow down from the trees.
I had no choice but to stay put, which is, of course, one of my favorite things to do.
I love spending time in my home, making little decorations and baking tasty treats.
Jane Austen once said There's nothing like staying at home for real comfort, and I couldn't agree more.
Oh no!
I think I burned the cornbread.
I burned it!
Oh no!
I had a little time off this week and spent it doing a mix of chores, art projects and doing everything with the intention of prioritizing rest and rejuvenation.
If you watched my last video, you know that I'm on a quest this year to value myself more and develop more confidence.
So far, it's been a difficult but rewarding journey.
Thank you.
When I mention the word self-love, it can have a lot of different interpretations.
I know some see it as doing something special to treat yourself, others about setting healthy boundaries, others focusing on relaxation.
All these things sound lovely.
I personally like to think of self-love as practicing proper self-respect and valuing your soul.
If I'm trying to be more confident, I need to show myself the respect of honoring my decisions and affirming myself when I need to.
I need to respect myself enough to work on learning a positive inner dialogue.
These have been what I've been working on this year.
It is perhaps not your typical way of showing self-love, but it has helped me feel much better about myself.
And I think one of the reasons why is because I'm trying to make a permanent interior change, not a temporary external one.
I know when I was young I would hear my friends joke about the power of retail therapy or getting pampered when you don't feel good about yourself.
I'm sure these things can be very beneficial.
Everyone is different.
And I also think that working on changing one's beliefs about oneself if they're negative, making change from the inside out is also a powerful and crucial tool to feeling more fulfilled.
At least, that is what I wish my story this year to encompass.
I think that the hardest part of learning to value yourself and love who you are is that it is something invisible.
You can't prove to other people you have innate worth.
They need to just know you do.
You cannot gain anything externally that will make everyone like you and no one doubt you or ever hurt you.
You need to live in your value and just know it's there.
You cannot rely on others to always affirm it.
I don't want my story to be written by someone else.
I want to claim my own.
And this year I hope you do as well.
Hello everyone.
I realized that um, i think the last several times i've talked to you to the camera, i've been wearing this dress and um, i swear i'm recording on different days.
This is um, just one of the few things that still fit me that i own and um, it's also a color that i really like, So that's why I've been wearing it so much.
I only have a few dresses that really fit me, but my mother recently got me this one, which I really love.
She knows my taste quite well.
She got it from the thrift store.
I've been predominantly wearing just leggings and sweaters and I think that's going to be the theme for the next several months.
I wanted to say a huge thank you for the lovely response on my last video.
I got so many interesting stories feedback, ideas that a lot of people shared.
It was quite interesting and lovely and very encouraging.
I see that self-doubt is something that a lot of people can relate to, i think, depending on your experiences or if you have a tendency to really be very hard on yourself.
For me, when I got to those very low points where I had so much self-doubt, so much shame, being so hard on myself, really believing like there was no way to get better, to feel better, to become the person I wanna be, i associated that time with falling apart and with being broken and and it being a very negative thing.
However, looking back, i don't see it that way at all anymore and i hope, for anyone who has been in a vulnerable position, perhaps it may be helpful to look at it this way as well.
It was not the end of anything.
In fact, it was the beginning of something quite beautiful and i think that if we saw our lowest points In that way, we may be able to be more gentle to ourselves.
I think, when you reach that point where you feel quite overwhelmed by a problem or something you're facing and you feel like there's no way out, it's quite beautiful in a way, that your mind, your body your everything, your spirit has gotten to this point where you can no longer stand living in the same way, being the same person that you were.
It has the potential to be a turning point where this fountain of growth, of healing, of renewal, of motivation to change your life, all of it can come from that low point.
It is only when we are truly honest with ourselves and willing to have the courage to face the things we want to change about ourselves that we begin to heal.
That's why I want to look at those things as something quite positive, even though for so long I had so much shame associated with having to ask for help, to get support, feeling like I needed to relearn how to live in a new way.
At least, that has been something very helpful to me and something that has really helped me move past some self-doubt, and i have still a long way to go, as you can tell from my last video.
Well, thank you all again, and i think what i'm going to do with the rest of my day is that i'm going to go grab my headphones and i'm going to go frolic in the winter time.
It is so beautiful out there right now.
The snow is falling very thickly and um, I think I'm gonna go dance in the snow, have a really good time, have fun with my dog, and I'm going to listen to some music.
There is a partly Celtic-inspired band that is kind of local to this general area in the US and they are a group of three very talented women that I've connected with.
Recently, I've been asked many times on Instagram what some of my favorite music is.
90% of the time I'm listening to movie soundtracks or peaceful music, ambient rooms on YouTube.
I really enjoy that.
It helps my creativity, especially when I'm creating art.
But I also like to add some very interesting other types of music in there too, for fun and to uplift me and energize me, and their music is so uplifting.
So I'm gonna go listen to it now and as I run through this winter wonderland, I'm going to try to keep making promises to myself and really embracing my positive beliefs about who I am and not letting all that negativity take over.
So I'm sending you so, so much love Goodbye.
