Hello, lovely.
I'm Marianne.
And my name is Rory, and we are the hosts of the IELTS Speaking for Success podcast, the podcast that aims to help you improve your speaking skills, as well as your listening skills along the way.
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Rory, so what's the joke today?
Actually, I don't have one prepared.
We don't have any jokes or any coincidences.
But we can talk about jokes.
Oh, isn't it another coincidence on this podcast?
Yes, Christmas is coming.
Okay.
And this is a new coincidence.
This is a Christmas coincidence on this podcast.
Yes, I know that it's November and Christmas is in December.
But Rory is British and British people started getting ready for Christmas in July.
Right, Rory?
Oh God, it seems that way, doesn't it?
I mean, we're not even finished with well, we're barely out of Halloween and bonfire night and whatever else.
Oh, and National Unity Day.
And now we have Christmas to worry about.
So it seems like Christmas comes earlier and earlier every year.
Yes, and on this podcast, it's the Christmas spirit and Christmas mood.
Rory, so before we start, let me give you a joke, okay?
Okay.
So, the waiter and the teddy bear... So, the waiter goes up to the teddy bear and asks...
Oh, teddy bear, do you want any dessert?
The teddy bear answers, no thanks, I'm stuffed.
Okay, I have to explain it now.
No, no, no, you don't.
It's stuffed.
No, I need to explain it, you know.
So, dear listener, you know, I'm stuffed.
The teddy bear is stuffed, yeah, because it's a teddy bear stuffed with some soft stuff.
But if you say I'm stuffed, like I'm full, right?
I don't want to eat anymore, right?
So you can listen to the joke again and laugh.
You know what they say about jokes and dissecting a frog and what they have in common, Maria?
It dies in the process.
Yeah.
Yes, but just to make sure that our listener understands.
I died in the process.
No, Rory is well alive.
Rory, let's talk about jokes.
Are you good at telling jokes?
Allegedly.
I think I can make people laugh, but I'm not sure if that's due to my jokes or if it's just my ability to make light of very serious or quite dark situations.
The other thing is maybe it's just because I'm usually, the more Do you like listening or telling jokes?
Actually, both in equal measure.
It's fun being the center of attention when you crack a good joke and you make everybody lose the plot around you.
I also like listening to what other people have to say.
I never used to, but I'm actually getting better at it, and it is a lot less demanding than being the centre of attention.
Do your friends like to tell jokes?
Well, I think they prefer funny anecdotes, like I do, but they're one and the same as far as I'm concerned.
But yes, they like to tell jokes.
They like to make people laugh.
How do you know what jokes are proper to say to your friends?
I'm very lucky I've got very tolerant friends with similarly dark senses of humour like mine almost pitch black so I can push the envelope a great deal before anyone thinks things are inappropriate or disrespectful.
Do you like to watch comedies?
Oh, I love them.
I think they're my third favorite genre in terms of media.
And I like all the sub-genres too, from like rom-coms to sitcoms.
So yeah, it's a really cool thing to watch them.
Other comedy shows in your country?
Well, maybe not so much these days owing to the crisis, but there used to be quite frequently, especially at the Fringe Festival.
To be honest with you, I don't think I've ever seen a bad comedian, actually.
They're always very engaging and entertaining and they're really good at cracking people up.
Have you ever watched a live comedy show?
Yeah, I've watched several, actually.
And actually, I participated in one, but perhaps that's a story for another time.
So definitely.
And it's something I would encourage everybody to do if they get the chance.
I think you can maybe watch them on live streams, actually.
Thank you, Rory, for your answers.
Here's another joke for you.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Oh, what do you call a sad coffee, Maria?
Wait for it, wait for it.
Depresso!
Oh!
Depresso.
That joke has made me depresso.
Depression.
Depresso.
I usually say espresso and depresso.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yes, so this joke makes some people laugh.
So we make people laugh, right?
And Rory, is it a joke or an anecdote?
And what's the difference?
Well, your joke wasn't a joke.
It made me sad.
Seriously, though.
A joke is...
I suppose people make it really, really simple.
A joke is something that anyone can tell, and it's usually short, and it has a punchline.
Whereas an anecdote is something that's personal to the person telling it, because they were there.
And it usually has characters who are real people.
And there might not be a punchline, but there is a funny comment, or maybe the situation is funny as well.
Yes, an anecdote is like one Russian person and one Scottish went to a pub and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, this is an anecdote.
And the barman said, oh, my God, I'm going to run out of whiskey and vodka.
That's the punchline.
Okay.
Right.
So, we listen to jokes, we tell jokes, we don't say jokes.
No, no, no.
Tell jokes.
Okay, you guys?
Or Rory has used crack jokes.
So, tell jokes, crack jokes.
And we tell jokes on something or about something.
You tell jokes about something, but you play a trick on someone.
So you could connect it to that.
It's probably important to connect on the subject of cracks.
You crack a joke, but you also crack people up.
And maybe it's a good idea to use the verb crack, because that will encourage you to remember to crack people up.
Yeah, that's a good one.
If you find something funny, you can say, ooh, it cracks me up.
It cracks me up.
Or he told me this joke and the joke cracked me up, right?
Or for example, like Mr. Bean.
Yeah, do you know, Mr Bean?
Mr bean cracks me up.
That was my, that was my nickname in high school.
No, it's not a joke, it's a serious story.
No no seriously really, mr bean.
Oh wow, apparently i used to look like rowan atkinson when i was younger and fatter, but obviously i wasn't terribly thrilled by that comparison.
Yeah, if we go back to Rory's school we can say oh, Rory cracks me up.
Whereas now we would say Rory doesn't crack me up because he's not as funny as he used to be.
No, no, no, Rory, you are hilarious.
Hilarious is another good word, like you are very funny.
You are hilarious.
And Rory, you said that you make light of things, right?
To make light of something is actually a really good expression, first of all.
So if you make light of something, it's like there's a situation and you make it funny or you put a humorous spin on it.
So I'm quite good at that, I think.
But whether I am or not is a matter for other people to decide.
Yeah, you can say I make people laugh.
I'm good at making light of things.
I have a good sense of humor or Rory said a dark sense of humor and like pitch black sense of humor.
It's very, very dry sometimes as well.
But dry means like not funny or funny?
Well, dry means it's... like sarcastic and there's almost no tone in it.
You can usually tell if someone is cracking a joke because of the tone of their voice.
It's lighter or higher, but some people keep the intonation very flat and they don't express the emotion in their voice.
It's just like a casual comment.
But people will find it funny because there is no reaction by the person.
So it's almost the opposite of what people usually find funny, which is people's reactions to things.
But that's the most hilarious thing when they tell such a joke.
It depends on the character.
If you're... If you're quite... If you're someone like me who's quite an extrovert, then probably...
People don't expect it, so it doesn't work as well.
But if you're someone who's quite quiet, for example, and you just make this really sarcastic, dry remark, then it works very well.
So it depends on your personality, doesn't it true?
True, so we can say a good sense of humor dry, dark.
We can also say a twisted sense of humor, like strange, And we say that we laugh at someone else's jokes.
Like, I laugh at Mr. Bean, I laugh at my friend's jokes.
When we talk about different genres genres or sub-genres we talk about comedies, comedians like stand-up shows, comedy shows.
Rory, you've mentioned rom-coms, romantic comedies, right?
Yeah.
And then sitcoms is situational comedy, I think.
But I used to think it meant you sit down to watch them, which is a bit stupid, but it's what I thought initially.
Yes, sitting down comedies.
We can also talk about like Charlie Chaplin as a genre, and Charlie Chaplin shows are called slapstick comedies.
Yeah.
Slapstick, like I slap you and you laugh.
Slapstick.
I think it was more to do with like the physical activity on the stage, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
So Charlie Chaplin would just fall over, would grab somebody or something and then fall over again.
So there's like slapstick comedy cracks me up.
Or you can say like a visual humor, right?
So when people make fun of other people, so it's visual humor, slapstick comedies, these things crack me up haha, i just laugh a lot.
Uh rory, do you want another joke?
Uh no, but i don't think you need my consent.
Yes, of course you do.
Yes, he wants yes.
Yes, dear listener, you also want another joke?
Okay okay, so there you go.
Russia says they found a coronavirus vaccine.
What do I say?
I'm not putting that in my body.
Oh God yes, a lot of actually jokes are based on this putin thing, because it sounds the same as put something in uh something, right?
So putin, president of russia, you know putin?
So i'm not putting that in my body, i'm not putting it.
Uh rory you, it doesn't crack you up rory, It only opens cracks in my soul.
Oh, dear listener, please tell me that it's a bit funny.
Like, come on.
So, like, depresso is a little bit funny, the teddy bear joke.
All right, fine.
In the British culture, they have knock-knock jokes.
So, maybe, Rory, you can impress us with one of the knock-knock jokes.
It's a very cultural and very British kind of thing.
It is, but I can't think of one off the top of my head.
Okay, okay, let's do one.
I know one.
Okay, so you go, knock, knock.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I go knock-knock.
Oh, yeah.
No, that's cut me off because we've managed to completely ruin that joke for everybody now.
Okay, okay, deal with it now.
We have to do it, right?
So, knock-knock.
Who's there?
Ivo.
Ivo who?
I have a lot of money.
Oh my God.
Yes, so these knock-knock jokes are based on this language.
So I say like, Iva...
I've a lot of money.
I've got a lot of money.
I have a lot of money.
So, I've a lot of money.
Right.
We can also say that I like to have a good laugh.
Right.
Or my jokes usually get a few laughs.
Or my jokes land well.
Oh, wow.
My jokes land well.
Nice.
Not your jokes, Maria.
Your jokes don't land.
Your jokes crash and burn.
Oh, come on.
They're not so bad.
Just some of them.
Rory, you've mentioned that you are influential and powerful.
So when you are with your friends, you are influential and powerful and you are bamming.
You've said something bamming, booming.
Oh, oh, bamming off.
Yeah, sorry.
I should explain.
Bamming off is not something that you should use in your IELTS speaking test.
Bamming off is an expression in Dundee, where I'm from, which means that you're showing off, you're saying that you're the best person in the room.
But that's not what I was trying to express.
I was trying to express that usually that is actually factually the case.
I would much prefer not to be the most influential person in the room because it's incredibly boring and a bit pressuring.
And so you could say, instead showing off, and that would be a better way of describing what you are trying to avoid or what you are describing in other people.
True.
You can also mention some of your favorite comedians, like Mr. Bean, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams.
Rory Duncan used to be a comedian.
I was never a comedian.
No, but you were part of this stand-up show.
I was, but as a participant, not as an actual comic.
It's a long story, but it's a very interesting one if we ever have the time.
Yeah, so if we imagine that Rory is on stage telling jokes, cracking jokes, so we can say that oh, I'm in stitches like I'm laughing out loud.
Well, only if I'm telling good jokes.
If I'm telling bad jokes, then not so much.
Yeah, you say, I was in stitches.
When Maria told this teddy bear joke and then espresso, depresso joke, I was in stitches.
I was laughing on the floor.
Okay, hopefully.
Oh, hopefully it raised a smile.
Okay, I understand that these jokes are silly.
Okay, guys, I'm a normal person.
I get the point.
Rory isn't laughing.
But at least it might have raised a smile.
Or you could crack a smile.
Or it cracked a smile.
Right.
Thank you very much for listening.
We hope that we gave you a boost of these positive vibes and jokes.
Or at the very least, you have a few jokes to tell at parties now, thanks to Maria.
Just don't blame us if you don't get invited to any more parties after you tell them.
You can tell a joke and then you can laugh at your own joke, okay?
Just like, as long as you're happy, as long as you're laughing and you're having a great time, it's all fine.
And it was our birthday this week.
We've turned one year old.
We are one year old.
Yay.
We're behaving like one year olds.
Yes, we are behaving like one year olds.
If you're listening to us on Apple Podcasts, could you give us some stars?
Please, on Apple Podcasts, give us some stars.
And I'm not joking.
I'm serious.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye, bye, bye.
Rory, let's talk about jokes.
Are you good at telling jokes?
Allegedly.
I think I can make people laugh, but I'm not sure if that's due to my jokes or if it's just my ability to make light of very serious or quite dark situations.
The other thing is maybe it's just because I'm usually the most most.
This is going to sound like I'm bamming off a little bit, but usually I'm the most influential or powerful person in the room and maybe people are just laughing to make me happy.
So it's really difficult to tell sometimes.
Do you like listening or telling jokes? actually both in equal measure.
It's fun being the center of attention when you crack a good joke and you make everybody lose the plot around you.
I also like listening to what other people have to say.
I never used to, but I'm actually getting better at it, and it is a lot less demanding than being the centre of attention.
Do your friends like to tell jokes?
Well, I think they prefer funny anecdotes, like I do, but they're one and the same as far as I'm concerned.
But yes, they like to tell jokes.
They like to make people laugh.
How do you know what jokes are proper to say to your friends?
I'm very lucky I've got very tolerant friends with similarly dark senses of humour like mine almost pitch black so I can push the envelope a great deal before anyone thinks things are inappropriate or disrespectful.
Do you like to watch comedies?
Oh, I love them.
I think they're my third favorite genre in terms of media.
And I like all the sub-genres too, from like rom-coms to sitcoms.
So yeah, it's a really cool thing to watch them.
Other comedy shows in your country?
Well, maybe not so much these days owing to the crisis, but there used to be quite frequently, especially at the Fringe Festival.
To be honest with you, I don't think I've ever seen a bad comedian, actually.
They're always very engaging and entertaining and they're really good at cracking people up.
Have you ever watched a live comedy show?
Yeah, I've watched several actually.
And actually I participated in one, but perhaps that's a story for another time.
So definitely.
And it's something I would encourage everybody to do if they get the chance.
I think you can maybe watch them on live streams, actually.
