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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is to find a phrase to express your preferences tactfully and teach your kids to do the same.
Some folks grew up being told that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
And there is wisdom in this.
Nobody wants to be around people who are always criticizing and complaining.
If you aren't being asked for your feedback, and especially if there's nothing to be done to change a situation, it is often better to keep your opinions to yourself.
self. But there are also times when you do have to say something, such as when you are asked directly what you think.
In general, it is not a good idea to lie or to tell your kids that it is okay to lie.
So that means that there is wisdom in having a phrase that allows you to express your opinion in a tactful way.
I know of a family whose kids use the phrase, it's not my favorite.
to acknowledge their dislikes.
They are adventurous eaters, but like everyone, they have some foods that they don't love.
If they're served foods they don't like, they will eat a reasonable amount without drama.
But if they are asked about the food, they will say politely, it's not my favorite.
If you ask their opinion of a book or movie or restaurant they don't love, you will get the same response.
It's not my favorite.
it. Experiences they don't like get the same description.
How is performing in the class play?
Being on stage isn't my favorite.
They are not uncomfortable expressing their preferences, but the tone isn't negative or critical.
And they don't insult something that someone else likes.
They don't say, ooh, that's gross about a food they don't like and thus make people who do like that food feel bad.
It's Not My Favorite is about their preferences, not a demand for the way the world has to be.
I think this is a great phrase, and there are others that are similar.
Sometimes people use It's Not For Me to get at the same thing.
If you are asked about the decor of a new restaurant, you could comment on how cohesive it is, but acknowledge that the decor is not for you.
When asked about a book or movie or TV show in a genre that would never appeal to you, It's Not For Me conveys all you need to.
Same for an Instagram account you find annoying, a cookbook author you find pretentious, or Halloween decorations that strike you as tacky.
If you are asked your opinion, It's Not For Me works just as well.
well. Sometimes when I am asked point blank about things I don't want to get too into the details on, I'll say something like, I haven't thought much about it.
I can avoid expressing an opinion, which is sometimes the right call.
If, like me, you sometimes wish your kids would complain a little less, you could try modeling one of these phrases in front of them until they start to pick it up.
It's not my favorite, or it's not for me, can be great in all kinds of circumstances.
In many cases, your kids don't want to actively insult anyone.
They just haven't thought about how people hear other phrases.
They may find this a welcome tool, or if not, maybe they can at least be taught that tact goes a long way.
We can acknowledge our own preferences while still respecting others.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam .com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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