This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 1008.
Is it okay to say I miss you to a teacher?
Welcome to the all ears english podcast, downloaded more than 50 million times.
We believe in connection, not perfection, with your american hosts, lindsay mcmahon, the english adventurer, and michelle kaplan, the new york radio girl, coming to you from Boston and New York City, USA.
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Today we get a great question from our listener Pablo, after he had an awkward interaction with a teacher in English.
Let's get into a complex but interesting topic today.
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Hey, Lindsay.
How are you?
Hey, Michelle.
I'm good.
I can't believe it's already the end of August.
I mean, September's coming.
I'm looking towards Labor Day weekend.
Do you have any plans for Labor Day weekend?
I may try and go on like a little trip, but i don't know if i actually am.
Yeah, maybe like a little baby moon for like a day or two.
Oh cool baby moon right, because in the last episode of any of our listeners missed it what was your big announcement, michelle?
That i'm having a baby.
So so guys, go back and listen to that episode if you haven't yet, because we talk all about it if you want to know.
Very exciting there's going to be the youngest member of our all ears english community coming into our world very soon.
Yes, and he's already.
I mean yeah, i mean now apparently he can hear in there.
So oh, my god, he's already been listening to the show lindsey, and he's been, he's been listening to uh, our podcast.
So he's already, he's already uh, working on, Working on, yeah.
Yeah, like he's going to want to start his own podcast at NH3.
Yeah, he's going to be a little podcaster.
It's going to be amazing.
Oh, he's got little headphones.
That's so funny.
That's so funny.
Very cool, Michelle.
Very exciting.
Well, before we get into it today Michelle, I want to take a second and say thank you to our reviewers in the app store.
Guys, so we have our new iOS app where we do publish bonus videos.
Michelle, you just did a bonus video this week.
You took us to Midtown Manhattan.
All right.
You showed us, talked to us about the heat and what life is like in New York.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
But this is great.
So I want to yell out some reviewers.
Guys, we appreciate your reviews.
Thank you to, let's see, Raj Pradhan, Noor Narak.
Velto, 13 F Beluco, Old 2, Chang Mode Shukri, BKK.
Nassim 58 Ning at Seattle, Fabricio Michel and Rachel from Rio.
Brazil.
Guys, and Rachel had a question.
A couple people had questions in their iTunes app review.
We see those questions.
We're going to put them in our list of questions to address soon, guys.
Thank you so much.
Awesome reviews, Michelle.
Thank you.
That's the best.
We really appreciate it.
Thank you so much.
We so appreciate it.
Guys, keep the reviews coming.
This helps us so much to keep going and to keep motivated.
Definitely.
So, yeah, Lindsay, I mean, I'm going to miss summer in some ways.
Are you going to miss summer?
Definitely going to miss summer.
It always flies by.
I feel like I did a lot.
We took our southern road trip in July and we had our urban adventures and we have it coming up actually last week,
When this comes out, the Boston Urban Adventure will be last week.
But yeah, like we did a lot.
I feel like I did a lot this summer, but I'm certainly going to miss it.
It's been a hot one.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
So guys, we're using this word missed.
Right?
Miss.
Very common word to talk about your feelings.
And we actually have a listener question about this word and a listener with his experience using this word.
Lindsay, do you want to read the question?
Yeah, let's hear from Pablo.
So here we go.
And I got a chance to meet him.
We talked for 30 minutes on Skype.
It was very cool.
Yeah.
So guys, listen out for any contests that we have in the future around the app.
Okay.
So now the question, I studied English here in my city and it was a wonderful experience.
A few months after I finished the course I went back to the school and I met my teacher and I said I missed you.
It sounded a bit weird, I thought, and I noticed that she wasn't so comfortable with it.
However, she was polite as well as we expect from a British person.
Oh, geez.
Okay.
LOL, he says.
All right.
Just a little joke there.
Okay.
Pablo.
Nice.
Moreover, everything went well and the conversation took a good way.
How not to fail this miserably when I use I miss you.
How to tell someone you miss them without being weird.
I love the show and the way you guys teach.
I've listened to the show as much as I'd like.
Furthermore, it's always amazing when I hear from all ears English.
You're my favorite English content on the web.
I miss you.
Kidding.
LOL.
Bye.
I like Pablo's sense of humor.
He's funny.
He's funny.
I really enjoyed meeting Pablo.
We had a good time.
Yeah.
Oh, I bet.
I bet that was fun.
Yeah.
Pablo, thanks for that question.
Yeah.
Good topic today.
Yeah.
And I love when our listeners ask us about experience.
They've had experiences they've had in real life.
What do you think?
Yes, I love it.
That is the best question, guys.
You know, if you go out into the world and you use your English and then a question comes up, email us immediately with that question, because those are the stories we like to tell in the show.
For sure.
For sure.
I love it.
I mean, Lindsay, what do you think?
If a student said that to you, would you think it was weird?
Yeah, I think there's a lot that we don't know here about kind of the tone of voice, the context.
That's true.
Were they alone in the room?
Were they like?
I mean, I'm guessing, obviously like Pablo's not trying to act weird or to try to imply anything obviously, but like maybe.
The scenario was strange.
I'm not sure.
But in general, I don't think it should be a problem saying I missed you.
There's so much here that we don't know, right?
Right.
But yeah, in general, it shouldn't be a major problem.
It's okay to say that you missed someone.
Right, right, right.
I mean, yeah, I don't think I would find it weird if someone said that to me like a student.
I'd probably be happy.
I'd be like, I missed you too.
But, like we said, I mean yeah, who knows, like how, what the situation was, or maybe the I don't know.
Yeah, Lindsay, 100% what you said.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean yeah, maybe a teacher could find it a little too informal or intimate in a classroom, potentially coming from a student.
That's probably what happened.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, I mean, I missed you, I guess could be like, You know, more.
Yeah, I mean, it is kind of intimate in a way.
But I've never thought about it in a like that some student couldn't say it to me.
Yeah, this is interesting because it's kind of complex this question, if you really dig below the surface.
Yeah.
Because if I think about who I would say I missed you to, I wouldn't say it to a friend of a friend that I don't know that well.
You know what I mean?
But I would certainly say it to like a good friend who went away.
Right.
I might say it, even like if I, even if I were a teacher, like to a student I might say oh, I missed you.
Like you've been gone.
Glad you're back in the class.
That's true.
Because I think also like a teacher is like a more personal relation.
I mean, like you know, a friend of a friend.
You might not know that well, but a teacher, like you know.
That's kind of like a big deal relationship actually.
Yeah, it's just, I think it's really about what goes around the phrase I miss you.
Like, what are you saying before?
What are you saying after?
What's the whole context of the conversation?
Right.
That's true.
That's true.
Very interesting.
Lots to discuss.
Yeah, I mean, we thought this was going to be simple.
It's more complex than that.
Yeah, it is.
But that's fine.
That's great.
So well, let's talk about maybe what could Pablo have said instead.
So like, these are some neutral ways.
Like, I mean, I think they're definitely neutral.
But let me know if you disagree to say that you've missed someone without actually saying the words I miss you I miss you my love right right right because it can't these ways can't be mistaken for a romantic come on right like a romantic approach I think I think clearly what's happening here is probably the teacher thought he was trying to be like too intimate or too romantic or he's trying to be romantic but he wasn't right right Right, right, right.
But these following phrases are not going to leave any doubt.
Right, right.
So let's get into it, Lindsay.
So what's one thing you could say?
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So say something like, oh, it's been too long.
Right, right.
And that kind of like, it doesn't say I've missed you, but it implies it.
Yeah, I like that.
It's more neutral.
It's more, it's definitely less intimate.
Yeah, right.
Or you could say something like, good to see you again.
Yeah, good to see you again.
Or, oh, I'm glad we get a chance to meet again.
Or a chance to, I'm glad to get a chance to see you again.
Yeah.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, I'm glad.
Right.
So yeah, I mean, those are some neutral ones.
And that could, you know, that could be good things to say.
And I don't think that anyone would misconstrue this for anything other than a friendly thing.
No.
You know, I mean, that's just what I think.
Um, so yeah.
And then, okay.
Another thing I thought we could talk about is like, if you currently miss someone, right?
Like if you were talking to this teacher on the phone.
I don't know, you know and I don't know how, what the relationship is, or?
Or if you're talking to just like a friend or something like that.
Like I mean usually when you talk to someone, you currently miss them.
Your relationship is closer.
Like you probably wouldn't just be like, maybe on the phone with your teacher.
I mean, maybe you would be emailing with your teacher or something like that.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
So yeah, let's throw them out there.
I mean how to say, and we'll tell you guys which ones are more intimate, that you might want to avoid with a teacher, and which ones are more casual and just not as close.
Right, right, right.
So the first one is a bit more intimate, I think.
So it's I wish you were here or I wish we could meet up.
I think I wish you were here is definitely a bit more intimate.
I wish we could meet up is maybe a little less intimate.
Yeah, I mean, I think of I wish you were here is something you might write like on a postcard.
Yeah, I wish you were here.
Is that a thing anymore?
I feel like I'm dating myself or something.
I have a friend that likes that pretty much still sends postcards, but I haven't gotten one in a while.
So maybe she stopped.
Maybe it's not a thing anymore, but something you would say, like if you go travel somewhere and you send a postcard back to a friend, or obviously like a partner, family member.
I wish you were here.
You would say that I don't know if I would say that so much to a teacher.
No, no.
Yeah.
I mean if Yeah, if it was like a class, you could say like Oh, I wish our class could meet up, or something like that.
But yeah, I wouldn't say that to a teacher.
Yeah.
Another thing you could say is, Oh, I hope life is treating you well.
That's great.
That's great.
Because that's kind of casual.
It's kind of natural.
And it's not intimate.
It's not going to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Right, right, right.
Yeah, and again, it's not saying I miss you, but it's a sense of fondness, you know?
Yeah, and I really like this next one that you have here Michelle, because we're placing the emphasis away from the person and putting it more on a class.
Let's show our listeners that phrase.
Okay, so I miss...
But instead of saying you, you could say, I miss our times together.
That might be a little bit intimate.
Or you could say, I miss hanging out.
Or you could say, instead of I miss you, I miss our class together.
Yeah.
So you're using I miss, but you aren't putting it on the single person.
It's a little bit less direct.
So like, even if you had seen your teacher in person something maybe I'm thinking now instead of saying I missed you, you could say like oh, I've missed our class, or something.
Yeah, exactly.
I think that could be a really good recommendation for us to send to Pablo directly, right?
To say something instead of saying, I missed you.
Say like, oh, I missed our class.
I missed your class.
I missed your teaching.
I missed our classmates.
Anything that kind of diffuses the directness of the personal aspect of that comment.
Right, right.
Exactly.
So just taking it away, taking it a step back to make it a little bit lighter.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So these are some phrases that you guys could use.
And you know, we kind of split them up into like if you currently miss someone, or if you see them and you did miss them and now you see them.
But you can kind of use them interchangeably.
I mean, like a little bit like you can say, I hope life is treating you well if you see the person.
Yeah.
Or you could say, I hope what life has been treating you well, something like that.
Yeah, very natural.
Yeah.
So, we're going to try it out.
So, trying to use most of the phrases, if not all.
So, Lindsay, in this, you are my former student.
Okay.
Here we go.
Let's do it.
Okay.
So...
Hi, Lindsay.
It's been too long.
Oh, yeah.
I really miss our class.
Oh, me too.
I wish everyone were here to meet up.
We're here to meet together again.
Yeah, well, I'm glad we get a chance to meet again.
I hope life is treating you well.
Yes, yes.
Well, good to see you again.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, so that sounds much more, yeah, much less personal, right?
It's like, and you also said, by adding everyone, I wish everyone were here to meet together.
Again, you're really taking the personal aspect out of it and making it about the group.
Right, right, right.
Which is definitely a less intimate way to do it, but still say that you care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yes.
So let's go through it.
So first I said, Lindy, it's been too long.
Yep.
I love that.
Supernatural.
And what did you say next?
I said, yeah, I really miss our class.
Right.
So you didn't use it in the past.
You didn't say I really missed, but you still miss it, which is fine.
Yeah.
Or I could say I really miss your class or our class.
Yeah.
Both could be fun.
Yeah.
And then I said, me too.
I wish everyone were here to meet together again.
Yeah.
So...
Was that even a phrase?
Oh, yeah.
I wish.
I wish.
I wish.
And then something.
I wish.
Yeah.
I wish everyone were here.
I said, I wish you were here.
But here I changed it to everyone.
Yeah.
No, that'll work.
That'll work.
And then I said oh, I'm glad we got a chance to meet again or to see each other again, to meet up again.
I hope life is treating you well.
Mm hmm.
And then I said, yeah, that was a phrase.
Oh, my gosh, I'm getting so okay.
Yeah, I'm glad we have a chance to meet again or to see you again, like you said.
And then at the end, I said, well, good to see you again.
So that's also like, yeah, one of the phrases that we used earlier.
So that was also like kind of used as a wrap up in the conversation.
So I could have said that earlier on.
Oh, good to see you again.
But I hear it's kind of like sounds like it's winding down.
Yeah, totally.
Totally.
No, this is a good question from Pablo.
I mean, what's the takeaway today, Michelle?
What can we leave Pablo with?
Well, I think the takeaway – and guys, again, these are all mixed up.
So, like, it's not necessarily what you have to say currently in the moment.
You know, you get the point.
They can be mixed up how you like.
But the takeaway is, you know, we don't know what – it sounded like to your teacher.
We don't know how it was said.
We don't know the situation.
We don't know the relationship.
There's so much that we don't know.
Right.
But I guess if you want to stay neutral, we gave you some good phrases that you could use to do so.
And, you know, don't, Don't let something like that bother you, I guess.
Maybe she seemed uncomfortable because she had to go to the bathroom.
You don't know why.
Why someone has a reaction the way that they do.
And a lot of times, I think.
Just in general, we always think oh, it was about us, like about something we said or something that we did.
But I have to do this too.
Like sometimes I keep in mind, like maybe somebody has a reaction about something totally not relating to us.
Yeah, I love that.
That's so true, Michelle.
It's not always about us.
And I mean, one other thing that comes to my mind is also culture, right?
So I think, definitely if it's also important to take into account.
Maybe Pablo, maybe you are like directly translating something from Portuguese
I think Pablo is from Brazil.
And then that may be like more common.
There's all these cultural issues that come in when we're directly translating something.
Right.
So it may be totally fine to say that to a teacher in Portuguese, but maybe there are other connotations in English.
So that's why we're learning this in an immersive way, right?
We're not translating between languages.
We're learning other ways to say this to make it more general.
But yeah, that's also, we have to take that into account.
I mean, culture is huge.
It's a huge effect on our language, right, Michelle?
Oh, for sure, for sure.
It's very important to think about all of these things.
And you know it's also good that you reflected on this situation and how can like?
Why did it happen?
How could it change?
Like it's good to always be aware and to kind of be thinking about these things, even if it didn't have anything to do with you or what you said.
And maybe the person just maybe your teacher, just you know was having a hard day and she had a reaction that you weren't expecting.
But you know, but it's still good to take these real life situations and wonder okay well, how could I maybe say something different next time?
Yeah.
And it's also important to voice say what you what you feel at the same time.
Like you know, just don't shy away from actually reaching out to people and expressing your thoughts.
You know what I mean, Pablo?
I mean, we've given you the tools today.
So don't consider it like a reason to like shy away.
No, no.
Stick to it.
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
And, you know, depending on the relationship or like, you know, I missed you still may be okay.
So you know you can listen to what other people say and think about your relationship with the person and how they are.
And, you know, it's not that that phrase is wrong, really.
Yeah.
Really good question from Pablo.
Thank you so much for that question.
And I love it when we get these questions that seem simple, but they're actually very complex.
That's the nature of human connection, right?
It's complex language and connection, but that's why we're here.
That's right.
All right.
Well, thank you for the question.
And thanks, Lindsay, for hanging out.
Alright, Michelle.
Take care.
Have a good one.
You too.
Bye.
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