My last video was sort of a mistake.
It was filmed the morning after my mother and I drove two hours outside of Paris to stay in a small vineyard for the night, while I tried to process everything that had just happened to me.
That video, the one where I announced that I was taking a gap year.
Well, it was actually filmed the week after I arrived in France, but it was supposed to be the one that I filmed the week before.
I know this sounds kind of confusing, but things in Paris didn't exactly play out how I imagined they would.
Welcome to episode one of my gap year.
I'm hungry.
I need to go find somewhere to eat.
Or Yeah.
So One thing I've learned about traveling I had come to Paris with an unrealistic ideal of what it would be and feel like.
Before coming, I imagined Paris could be a place that I settled down in during my gap year, a city where I could live in for a few months and use as a home base.
I had this dream of waking up early every morning, going out into the city, having the confidence to order a baguette at the Boulangerie around the corner, then going out and exploring, filming videos of myself, and feeling like there was a place for me in this large city.
But for some reason, I'd never felt so isolated and alone.
Maybe I'd feel better tomorrow.
I don't know.
I don't know.
¶¶
I decided to go back to Luxembourg Gardens.
I spent every summer here as a kid, so maybe a place that reminded me of my childhood would give me the answers I needed for adulthood.
Also, this park has an alluring natural beauty to it, and especially this morning with all that nice golden light.
So I plan to go around the park, filming myself sitting in chairs.
You may ask why.
Max, what are you doing filming yourself sitting in chairs around the park in the morning?
What is that going to do?
Well, to that I say I was either going to look like a philosopher and have some nice footage of myself thinking, but also maybe by pretending like I had the answers, I would find the answers.
Maybe I could think myself to a conclusion and turn on the camera and be able to articulate my grand plan for the next year.
It may have not been the best plan in the world, but at least I had a smile on my face and had the confidence to film myself in public again.
So at least I knew I was headed in the right direction.
I didn't come to any grand conclusions, but what I did instead was decide to reach out to my community.
Maybe I was approaching this the wrong way all along.
Instead of looking inwards, perhaps I should do the opposite.
Maybe I should stop putting pressure on myself to have it all figured out.
Why not spend time with people who actually live here and why not ask them what it truly feels like?
Maybe I should let go of all my expectations, hang out with these strangers and just try to have fun.
Thought I lost my keys.
So at first, I was very ambitious about this meetup.
I was excited.
I was like, invite everyone.
And I wasn't nervous at all.
I was kind of surprised.
Because these are a bunch of strangers.
You never know what's going to happen.
I mean, I have good faith and optimism within humanity, but you never know.
So yeah, now I'm actually...
A bit terrified, not terrified, I don't know if that's a word, but I'm nervous.
I was calling my girlfriend earlier and she was like, are you nervous?
I was like, nah, I'm not nervous.
And then it hit me.
All right, I'm a bit late, so.
Gotta run down.
According to the Urban Dictionary, the word awkward has been declining since 2012.
However, this felt like maybe we could bring it back.
I'm just kidding.
Eventually we warmed up and started to get to know each other.
It felt exciting.
Hi everyone!
Hola a todos!
Bonjour!
Bonjour!
Hi!
Bonjour!
Hi, I'm Valiette!
Hi, I'm Esylvia!
Bonjour!
Hi!
Hey!
Bonjour!
Hi!
What's up?
You as a teenager, we live the same things.
We come from the same problems.
I got rejected to a fancy school.
I went to a separation.
The fact that you live the same thing as one another and you confront and you grow together.
Yeah, it's like i feel you as a friend now but we never met before.
Yeah, because i know your life don't mind, but like just a question of matters.
You know, it's like something that i can relate to and that i think we can all like say it, because we all, we all, lived a moment like you had.
We recognize in us in your videos.
Yeah, like a teenager growing up, It feels relatable.
That's the biggest thing.
It's like in France we say Roman d'initiation, but I don't know how to say it in English.
It's like you go to an adventure.
You discover yourself through an adventure and not going to an adventure, but just watching a video feels like going to an adventure.
So you learn through your adventures, through your travels.
Maybe one year and a half ago, I went to Paris alone.
I was like, I don't know what to do.
Yeah, you walk, you do 10 kilometers a day, but you don't have nothing else to do.
You read a book in the Louvre because it's fancy and you look like in movies.
But you're just like, yeah, I'm alone.
You feel like I'm on your side.
And seeing other people party making out.
You're like yeah, I want to share this moment with other people.
To go back to my beginning of my mental state showing the real OCR, the real high school, compared to like, what we have in movies.
It's really, really nice because I know friends like had this nostalgia of like, oh my gosh, my high school was not as good as in the movies and they had the depression for that.
So false expectations.
Yeah because, like everybody is going to say yeah, it's the best time of your life.
Like go, go out, have fun.
Yeah, we had to have it.
So yeah, like my life is not as good.
Yeah, like you don't feel like you had the better time of your life in your 20s.
Yeah, so you feel like a poster, like i could have done better After a few hours of talking, starting to get to know each other a bit better and, of course, drinking.
I mean, we're sitting next to the Seine in Paris.
It's part of the Parisian experience, I guess.
At least that's how I justify it to myself the next morning.
Not sure what's happening, but they just started dancing.
That's true.
Right now I think we're finding a bar.
We're finding a bar, right?
Yeah?
Alright, we're finding a bar protection civil.
That's so cool.
I don't want a beer, but maybe a cocktail or something.
I might try the Cuba Libre.
I like Coke.
Okay, try some Coke.
I'll try it.
I'll try it.
Never say Coke in Paris.
Oh, really?
It's like the powdery... Coca-Cola?
Oh.
Yeah, Coke.
Okay, Coca-Cola.
Coca-Cola.
A city name that we can pronounce!
He's playing Pétanque, at least apparently.
Piano, piano.
Come on, he's going for the card again.
He's an American with his gift.
Give me a cornet, give me a cornet.
I can't tell if I'm drunk or I'm really good at photography.
Maybe both.
Probably.
We had so much fun as a group that we decided to hang out the next night.
We met up, went thrift shopping, and ended up sitting right in front of the Eiffel Tower.
After that, we played Uno until around 4am in Louis' apartment.
But instead of voicing over some profound conclusion about what Paris taught me, I'd like to hear your interpretations.
Let me know in the comments.
All I know is that I'm personally not ready to come to any conclusions, nor do I want to.
If anything, I want to ask more questions, to go feel lost in another city.
I want to meet more people.
I want to get knocked down.
I want to feel everything and not shy away from it.
And most importantly, I want to document it and share the stories with all of you.
I hope you enjoyed episode one of My Gap Year.
I'll see you soon.
Thank you for watching.
I hope you enjoyed that episode.
It was sponsored by my friends over at Skillshare.
If you aren't familiar with Skillshare, it's an online learning platform with emphasis on exploring your creativity, seeing where it takes you and trying out new things.
I think that's what I love about Skillshare is.
To me, it feels like a companion to any side hobby or passion.
I personally just finished a course a couple weeks ago by Nathaniel Drew.
I love the guy.
I've taken all of his courses on Skillshare.
I think they're great.
And this one in particular is about, you know, documenting your life and finding ways to do that through different mediums, whether it's film photography, writing and I don't know.
I'm really just fascinated by this concept of taking little time capsules of your life to look back upon someday, to just self-reflect.
And I really enjoyed the course and I recommend you check it out along with all the classes on Skillshare.
They're just, there's classes on everything.
There's a class for everyone and To me, it's worth the investment within yourself.
So, with that said, the first 1000 of my subscribers to click the link in the description will get a one month free trial of Skillshare Premium, so that you guys can start exploring your creativity today.
Thank you again to Skillshare for sponsoring this video.
I'll see you guys on the next episode.
In the meantime, I'll see you guys in Perspectopia.
There's a link somewhere in the description to join the Discord server.
I'll catch you guys there.
Cheers.
Have a great day.
