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Hey, it's Dora.
You're listening to Radio Headspace, where we breathe, reflect and find a little more space in our day.
So I once mentored a student who almost didn't apply to my teacher training program, despite being more than ready, because she kept saying who am I to do this?
She had been studying yoga for over a decade, but when it came to mindfulness and meditation, she felt as though she wasn't ready to step into the seat of a teacher just yet.
She shared how she needed more, more practice and more experience.
I feel like I'm an imposter.
Sound familiar?
That quiet inner voice that doesn't yell but whispers just enough doubt to stop you from taking that next step.
This voice, this hesitation isn't uncommon.
It's the fifth hindrance in meditation, doubt.
It shows up as second-guessing ourselves, questioning our path and wondering whether we're doing it right in meditation and in life.
But doubt, when seen clearly, can actually be a doorway into deeper trust.
Not blind faith, but trust that we can keep going even if the path isn't perfectly clear.
Turns out my student was brilliant, compassionate, and deeply committed to her practice.
She would light up any room with her presence.
But when it came to apply to my mindfulness teacher program, she froze.
I just don't think I'm ready, she said in an email.
So I asked her, well, ready for what?
She shrugged, to be a teacher, to guide others, to be taken seriously.
I recognize that look in her eyes because I've had it too.
It's that subtle fear that you'll be exposed as a fraud, that you're not really who others think you are.
We talked about how this is what Buddhists call vichikicha, a wavering of the mind.
In meditation, doubt sounds like, am I doing this right?
Is this even working?
In life, it's, am I enough?
What if I fail?
What if they find out I have no idea what I'm doing?
I told her something a teacher once told me.
You don't need to wait until you're certain.
You just need to be willing.
Over time, she kept showing up.
She sat with her doubt.
She noticed the stories her mind would spin.
And each time, she chose to just stay with it.
Eventually, she did apply to my program, and of course, she was accepted.
And not just that, she thrived.
Not because she erased the doubt, but because she had learned how to move with it.
So, if you're experiencing doubt right now, whether in your meditation practice or in some part of your life, know this.
You're not broken.
You're not failing.
You're growing.
Doubt isn't a stop sign.
It's a checkpoint.
A moment to ask, what am I afraid of?
What story am I believing right now?
And most importantly, can I take one small step anyway?
Mindfulness helps us notice doubt without letting it decide for us.
It reminds us we can keep going even when the voice in our head is unsure.
As meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein says, doubt is not to be overcome by repression or by believing its message, but by clearly seeing it as doubt.
So breathe into the uncertainty.
Allow it to be part of the journey, not the end of it.
Thank you so much for sitting with me today.
And again, if you're feeling doubt, remember, it just means you care.
Keep going and trust yourself.
I'll see you next time.
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