Hi, everyone.
I'm Matt Abrahams, your guest host for the week.
Welcome back to Radio Headspace.
Today we're talking about engagement.
Too often, people think engagement means being flashy, funny or performing.
But real engagement comes from connection, from making your audience feel like you're speaking to them, not at them.
We'll explore why people lose attention, how energy and presence make a difference and what small shifts like telling a story, asking a question, changing your tone of voice can reignite curiosity.
I believe attention is the most precious commodity we have in the world today.
Our attention is constantly being pulled in different directions.
It's hard to get attention, but what's even harder is engagement.
It is critical to get engagement, because when you do, you then truly conform the connection that you want.
I'm often brought in to coach senior leaders on how to be more engaging in their communication.
We've all been part of those all-hands meetings or planning meetings that just drone on and on.
They're full of lists and facts and spreadsheets.
And while that information is essential and critical, it can be delivered better.
There's one situation I was brought into where I was working with a leader who was trying to unveil a new strategy.
And his strategy had 14 pillars to it.
Let me tell you, that was the first warning sign.
What we did is we got rid of the 14 pillars.
We found that they align nicely with three key values the company had.
And with each value, we made sure to have some kind of engaging point to it.
In one case, he told a story that reflected the value.
In another case, he used an analogy that we could all relate to.
And then finally, What he did was he had a participative activity where he asked us each to think about something and how that could be reflected in what this particular strategic idea was about.
We took a very boring, very dry, hard to understand communication and made it interesting and engaging.
When it comes to engagement, there are four primary ways that you can do it.
One is by getting people physically engaged.
Where people's bodies go, their brains will follow.
So tactics and techniques might include taking a poll, Having people write something down, sharing a video that they watch, turning to somebody and having a conversation.
When you're virtual, it could be using the chat, the reaction buttons, maybe putting people in breakout rooms.
Mental engagement comes in a different variety.
We have lots of research from neuroscience that says when you ask somebody a question, their brain lights up and activates in a way that it doesn't when you just tell them things.
So can you ask a question even if you don't want a response.
The third is linguistic language.
If you can refer to people by name or use inclusive language, like you us, we.
That pulls people together.
We've all been trained since we were little kids that when you hear your name or the word you, that you should pay attention.
And finally, There is shared experience.
If you can lean into some common experience, some common attitudes or values people have.
That connects us.
Now there's another way to be engaging as well.
And that's your presence, how you show up.
You can bring a lot of energy.
You can bring a calm subtleness, the variation in your presence, your tone, your volume, your gestures.
That variation invites engagement.
That's why I try to vary my voice or my rate.
That's why I try to change the emotional tone.
So we have things we can do with our messaging and with our presence that are likely to invite people in and be more engaged.
The other thing that we tend to do is we tend to be very conversational in tone.
That's what really helps us feel close to somebody.
If you can mirror that when you are in front of a larger group, that helps you.
So how do we do that?
Well, use conversational language.
I once coached a leader who was giving a big talk at a conference.
And as part of the beginning, he said, knowledge workers should...
And he said, knowledge workers.
And I said, why don't you just say you?
You is much more conversational.
A great way to practice being engaging is to observe how others are engaging.
So I'm going to give you all a challenge.
I would like for you, for the next few days, to watch communicators that you find really engaging and ask yourself what techniques are they using?
Are they doing something physical to get people physically engaged?
Are they using stories or questions or analogies?
Are they using some kind of language to really pull you in, or are they referring to common ground?
One of the best ways to get good at communication in general is to observe what others do and then begin to incorporate some of that in your own authentic way into your communication.
That's all for today.
Thanks for joining me.
Tomorrow, we'll close the week by exploring presence, what you do with your body and voice.
These form the foundation of mindful and confident communication.
And I look forward to seeing you back here really soon.
