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Hello, it's Eve here.
Welcome back to Radiohead Space and to Tuesday.
Did you know that the raw emotion of anger only lasts about 90 seconds in the brain?
That's it, just 90 seconds.
What makes it feel like it lasts so much longer is not the anger itself, but our resistance to it.
Instead of fully feeling it and saying, I see you, we fight against it.
We avoid it, or we add fuel to it, which keeps it alive in the mind and body.
We can even go days, even years, following an event or situation that made us angry.
Sometimes even forgetting what actually caused us to feel angry in the first place.
So all this week, we're exploring some of the obstacles that can arise in life.
that can become real barriers to feeling a sense of joy and fulfillment in our lives.
Today we're going to explore anger, or aversion, as it's sometimes known.
I recently got back from a work trip and I'd asked my husband to sort out some things in the house whilst he was away.
And when I got back, those things hadn't been sorted.
And before I gave him a chance to explain why he hadn't done them, I was already so frustrated with him, I didn't even let him explain.
Bearing in mind I was heavily jet lagged and tired from an eleven -hour flight.
All that night, I had a narrative playing in my mind that he'd let me down.
I went to bed, and when I woke up in the morning, he explained why it hadn't been done, and it was because the contractor wasn't available until this week, and that he, too, had had a really busy week and was really tired.
I did feel quite bad that I gave him such a hard time.
I'm sure we all have examples like this.
When we fuel the fire and come from a place of resistance, we keep the energy of anger alive.
It's not the original emotion that stays with us.
It's our unwillingness to surrender to it.
In meditation, anger can show up in small but familiar ways.
Perhaps your mind is particularly busy and you feel frustrated that you're not doing it right.
Or maybe the room you're sitting in feels too cold and that irritability creeps in.
Anger often manifests as resistance.
Resistance to what is happening in the present moment.
And of course in life, anger can show up as judgment, avoidance, or even hostility towards difficult people or situations, creates tension in our bodies and clouds our ability to respond calmly and clearly.
So how do we work with anger?
In meditation, a helpful first step is to simply note and name the emotion.
When you feel anger arising, can you pause and say to yourself, this is anger.
And say it without judgment.
And noticing where anger shows up in the body can also be really grounding.
Is it in your shoulders, your jaw, or perhaps your chest, and can you soften those areas even just a little?
Outside of meditation, journaling can be a really powerful tool for working with anger.
It sounds simple but starting each sentence with I'm angry that...
can help you sit fully in the raw emotion of anger.
It can also reveal the deeper, more specific roots of what's troubling you.
Journaling is especially helpful when it comes to forgiveness, whether that's forgiving someone else or yourself.
Writing allows us to untangle the stories we've been carrying, and to find clarity on how to move forward. I also want to quickly touch on compassion.
it's a practice that can completely transform how we relate to anger.
When we remind ourselves that we all make mistakes and that life is sometimes deeply unfair, we open space for compassion.
Not just for others, but for ourselves as well.
So maybe take a moment to reflect.
Is there any anger or you've been holding on to?
What would it feel like to let it go, even just a little?
Thanks for joining me today.
I hope this was helpful.
Take care and I'll see you soon.
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