This is an All Ears English podcast episode 1295.
How to get to a deeper level in English with three core questions and meet Aubrey.
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Okay.
Hey, Aubrey, how are you doing today?
I'm great, Lindsay.
How are you?
Hey, I'm so excited to have you on the show today.
Guys, today is a big episode, right?
We are now in 2020 and I'm so excited to introduce Aubrey Carter, the newest member of our All Ears English team.
Aubrey, welcome to the show and welcome to All Ears English.
Thank you.
I've done a few podcasts on the IELTS side of things, but this is my first time here and it's so exciting.
Yeah, we are so excited to have you on the team.
And guys, you should be excited because you're going to have a brand new voice on the show, a brand new person of our member of our team to get to know.
And so tell us about yourself, Aubrey.
Let us know who you are.
Where do you live?
What's your story?
So I live in Phoenix, Arizona.
I grew up in Idaho, but I moved down here for work and I met my husband here.
So I never left.
Sorry, go ahead.
We have four kids.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
I have a 13 year old and 11 year old daughters and then twins that are five, a boy and a girl.
Oh, that is so cool.
So a big family grew up in Idaho.
I heard that Boise is becoming kind of the hot new place to go these days.
Boise, Idaho.
On the side of Idaho, the southeast.
And so the biggest city to us was Salt Lake.
We would go down to Salt Lake.
We would never... Boise's five hours from my house, whereas Salt Lake was three.
So I never went to Boise, but I have heard it's great.
Yeah, that's...
Awesome.
So I'm going to ask you a totally different question, because our listeners know that Americans love peanut butter.
And it's important for us to get to know this about you, Aubrey.
When it comes to peanut butter, do you prefer chunky or creamy?
What is the verdict?
I prefer chunky so much.
I can't even handle creamy.
It's sticking to the top of my mouth.
I don't like it at all.
And I love crunch in everything.
Like I want ice cream to have nuts and chocolate in it.
I want my salad to have noodles and nuts and sushi.
I have to have like raw sliced jalapenos on sushi to make it kind of crunchy.
I love it.
I love it.
It's so funny because I feel like people feel quite strongly about this one way or the other.
Some people absolutely hate nuts and peanut butter and nuts and things and some people love it and they have to have it.
Well, and it's tricky because the whole rest of my family prefers creamy.
So we have to have both in our house.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
And you guys, and you also Aubrey, you've been making some appearances, like you said before, on our other podcast, the IELTS Energy Podcast.
Isn't that right?
Yes.
That's right.
And I actually talked about Costco, shopping at Costco.
And that's where I buy our peanut butter because we go through so much food.
We go through these bulk items.
So we have these giant bulk size peanut butters, both creamy and chunky.
But surprisingly, we still go through it. really fast.
I'm sure.
Oh, you know, I just got a really good episode idea.
We should do an episode in the future about Costco or this idea.
I think it's a very American idea of buying in bulk, right?
Oh, yeah.
I save a lot of money buying in bulk.
I spend a ton when I go, but I save a lot of money just because per ounce, per pound, it's much cheaper.
Yeah, exactly.
So we'll save that for another day.
But I love that.
You know, there's a you know, you have you lived in Australia?
Have you spent any time in Australia?
Because you know, I had an Australian friend.
And it's funny, you mentioned that because she hated peanut butter.
And she would almost every day, she would bring in Vegemite and eat Vegemite.
And she thought it was so gross that we ate peanut butter.
And I said, ew, Vegemite, gross.
It's nasty.
I don't know.
I've never tried it.
Have you tried it?
You haven't tried it.
I have tried it.
You didn't like it?
Yeah.
Like when I lived in Japan, I had some friends from Australia and I would once in a while see them break out the Vegemite and a piece of bread and start kind of putting it on bread.
It's saltier, right?
It's...
For me, peanut butter tastes a little sweeter, a little more delicious.
Vegemite tastes more like something that's hard to put down.
Well, I really love pate.
I spent some time in France and I love pate.
So now that you say that, I'm wondering, I would maybe love Vegemite.
I need to try it.
You probably should try it.
And guys for our listeners.
I bet a lot of our listeners have spent time in Australia or are probably in Australia right now.
So guys, come back to our blog.
This is episode 1295.
Let us know, do you prefer peanut butter or Vegemite and why?
That should be a good conversation.
Yeah, I'm interested.
I want to know.
So we're not going to talk about Vegemite, the whole episode today but guys, today we are talking about the why right?
Everyone has a why behind what they do.
And one of our missions on All Ears English.
Actually, our main mission here is to show you guys how to go below the surface.
Right.
How to go beyond being superficial in your English conversations.
Right, Aubrey?
Yes.
And this is the best way to really build connections is, you know, don't talk about the weather and what did you do, but really ask those deeper, more interesting questions, just to get one level deeper and find out their why.
Yeah, exactly.
And I feel like honestly, when our listeners are able to do this, it builds a wheel of confidence, like a constantly improving wheel.
So we feel more confident with the next question and we can go one level deeper and we just want to keep going in that direction.
Don't you think?
Definitely.
And as we get to know people more, we feel more comfortable making mistakes in English.
The better we know them and we feel like we know their answer, know them on a deeper level, then we're less and less shy and embarrassed, maybe to make mistakes, because we feel like okay, I know this person on a deeper level.
They're not going to judge me.
Exactly.
I mean that might be the secret to success in English is getting to that connection level, so that again, like you said, we won't feel judged.
And it goes so much deeper than just did we make a grammar mistake, right?
Totally.
Love it.
Guys, so the idea for this episode came from Simon Sinek.
He's one of the people that I like to follow online.
He's a thought leader in the business world.
He wrote a book called Start With Why.
And Aubrey, I know a lot of our listeners are interested in business.
He had a TED Talk that you can check it out.
Just type in Simon Sinek in YouTube and this talk will come up.
But his whole core idea is what is your why?
What is your purpose?
What's your cause?
What's your belief?
And why does it matter?
So Aubrey, today we want to get to know you a little bit, right?
And we're going to show our listeners how we can dive deeper into that level, right?
And so again, why do you think on another level, why does this matter, Aubrey?
Well, I just think you know we have so many acquaintances with social media these days and that's such a different connection versus a friend that you know on a deeper level.
We need that support from friends family neighbors community, that if something were to happen, we know that we could lean on them.
We can call them if we need help.
I have these excellent next door neighbors that I would call if I had to leave and they could watch my kids or any kind of emergency.
Whereas social media acquaintances, I could not.
I don't have that kind of relationship.
That's interesting.
So I wonder, because I know you spent a little bit of time living in New York City, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I live there too.
So we have that in common.
So we'll be able to talk about that on this show for sure.
Did you find that it was different, like with your relationship with your neighbors, between living in New York and living where you live now?
Did you notice any differences?
No.
Definitely.
We really didn't get to know our close neighbor, even the neighbors in our building as much.
We'd sort of see them coming and going.
One of our neighbors.
We did get to know a little bit, but still not at the level where I would have asked for a cup of sugar.
Yeah.
It was just a little less friendly, a little less help each other kind of mentality, it felt like.
Yep, totally.
Was it the same for you?
Yeah, kind of.
And I was in my 20s.
And I don't know if I knew any of my neighbors, to be honest.
Yeah um, because i was always outside of my apartment.
But i i've noticed nowadays more and more people are living in the cities, so this skill is going to be become so much more important.
Because i think you're right, aubrey we're we're trying to replace connections with the internet in a sense, and it's not going to work because we're humans and we need that face-to-face connection in a way.
I did find in New York that a lot of people here sort of stay where they grew up and were raised and where they have extended family here in the West.
Right.
And so they didn't have family.
They didn't have friends that they had had forever.
And so we did find, you know, we made deep connections with people that because they didn't have that network community there, they were looking to make friends, friends and build those connections.
And so though they weren't our very close neighbors, we did have that opportunity.
Whereas now, lots of times you know, it's kind of hard to make friends because they've got all their friends from forever and their family.
I see.
I see.
So you were able to have some friends givings maybe out in New York, right?
Yes, exactly.
Some good friends givings.
That's great.
We can do another episode on that topic.
That's fantastic.
I'm glad to hear that.
Well, then let's get into it here because we want to give our listeners some core phrases.
So that you can use to push that conversation to a deeper level now this question might come second or third in line right you obviously you're going to have to open the conversation our listeners will have to open it with another question but we're going to give you that second level of question to get to the why right yes okay yeah i'm excited about this so the first topic we know that you are an esl teacher right aubrey correct okay so tell me tell me what made you want to teach esl so first of all guys that is the key phrase can you repeat that phrase for our listeners aubrey real quick just to show them What made you want to, and then whatever you're going to ask them about, what made you want to teach ESL?
Yeah, that's the first.
So guys, take notes here, write this down.
This is gold for you right here.
Okay.
So what did make you want to teach ESL, Aubrey?
Tell us about it.
You know, there are a lot of people who speak English fluently.
It's their first language, but not all of them are really engaging teachers.
And I love to be an engaging teacher.
I love to make a class fun and exciting by switching things up.
I love to think of interesting and exciting activities that help students really enjoy learning.
And language is the perfect venue for this, because you can be really creative with your teaching methods, as long as it involves reading listening speaking, writing.
Valuable language learning is always happening.
I love that.
So what kinds of things would you do in the classroom to mix it up?
Every game you can find, every board game, every activity you find can be tweaked to be used in a classroom.
So one that we loved was Taboo.
Have you ever played the game Taboo?
Yeah, of course.
That's a classic.
It's so fun.
And sometimes we would make our own taboo cards.
So the way that game works is you have a word at the top that you're trying to get people to guess, your teammates to guess.
But then you have a few words that you can't say.
Yeah.
So it's a little tricky because all of the synonyms or the parallel expressions are right there.
Like you can't say a few of these.
So you have to really think what's a workaround.
What's another way I can say this.
And it's so good for a language learner, because there are those times when there's a word, you can't think of the right word and you have to work around.
You have to think of another way to make yourself understood.
That's a really fun one.
I love it.
By the way, that is kind of a pro tip that's coming out of today's episode right from Aubrey is try taboo as a vocabulary game guys.
Yes.
Really good idea.
I love that.
So what I'm getting then in this answer for you, it's about creativity and variety, it sounds like.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that is kind of your why behind teaching ESL.
Is that right?
Yes.
And you know, I just love for everything to be fun.
If I'm taking a class or if I'm learning a new language.
It was the same when I learned French and I'm now learning Spanish.
I want it to be fun.
Yeah.
So I'm using the Duolingo app, which I think is fun.
And I'm making games for myself.
You know I'm forcing my children to play with me these language learning games, because if it's not fun, I'm probably not going to do it.
I'm motivated by things being really fun and engaging.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, we're going to have to talk about that in another episode too.
Your adventures in learning Spanish, right?
How's it going?
You know we've done a couple episodes in the past on Duolingo, on the apps, and I'd love to hear about how your learning is coming along so our listeners can learn from you on how to learn that language.
Oh, I have a lot to say about that.
That'll be good.
All right.
So that's the first phrase, guys.
So write that down.
So what made you want to do something?
So is there another phrase that we can teach our listeners here, that our listeners can go to that deeper level?
Yes.
There's another good question where you say, so what is it about that that inspires you?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so the next thing we want to learn about you I mean, we're all about learning about you today, Aubrey because you're brand new on the show and our listeners want to know who you are.
So you also have a nonprofit job in addition to working with us here at All Ears English, right?
Yes, that's true.
Tell us about it.
Yeah, so that is a job that inspires me.
So I'm operations manager for a nonprofit called One Small Step.
And we run a small used clothing space called Clothes Cabin here in Phoenix.
And so all of the items are donated.
Similar to a thrift store like Goodwill or Salvation Army, but just clothing shoes, hygiene products.
And then anyone who is homeless or unemployed can come in and choose clothes, five items for each member of their family, four times a year, at no cost.
So donors provide the funds necessary for new undergarments and socks and work boots, things that aren't donated.
The rest of it all is donations.
And we're able to provide these to those who are in need.
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
I love it.
I mean, you know it's funny because I think a lot of people visit the US and they're shocked to see the amount of homelessness that we actually have in this country.
What do you think?
Oh, yeah.
Well, it's a huge issue in Phoenix because we have great weather year round.
So people are that, you know, there's no winter that's so cold for them.
It'll start getting chilly at nights.
We actually just did an event called no more chilly nights, where we're giving them coats and layered items, but it just doesn't get that cold.
So this is, I bet this is like a PSA come to Phoenix.
If you're homeless, it's actually much more comfortable than a lot of places.
Yeah.
So we do try to provide services to make that easier for people who are trying to get back on their feet.
Yeah, I mean, we cover the topic of homelessness in the Connected Communicator course.
So if you guys are in that course or if you want to check it out, go over to allearsenglishcom.
Slash connection.
And we had an entire module where we interviewed people about the topic of homelessness.
It was really interesting.
And I do think it's something that surprises people.
But getting back to you and kind of your why.
What would you say if you had to put it into one word?
Again, what is it about working with this nonprofit that inspires you?
Just in one word, what would you say?
Selfishness.
I know that's funny.
But I feel so good whenever I leave.
All these people are coming in and they're so grateful for what we're doing.
And I have this amazing feeling of being able to give back, give to the community, give to individuals that are seeing you know that have these needs.
And so selfishly, I, it just makes me feel so grateful for what I do have.
And so grateful. happy for my life and also grateful for the opportunity I have to give back.
So yes, it's part of it is altruism, trying to help, but also selfishly, it makes me feel so good to help others.
That's so cool.
Well, that makes sense.
I mean, that's just, that's humanity.
That's how it feels good to help others.
We want to give, we want to help.
That makes total sense.
Definitely.
And all the volunteers who come in and help with us, we're volunteer run.
They all say the same.
They're like I can't miss a week, or it just makes me, you know, it just makes me so happy to be here.
I love it.
I love that.
Well, we have time for, I think, one more quick phrase before we jump off the mic for today, Aubrey.
All right.
Let's teach our listeners one more phrase, right?
One more way to get to the person's why, their purpose.
What is that phrase?
So you can just say, why is something specific important to you?
So for example, I could ask you, Lindsay, let me ask you about something.
Sure, go for it.
So I know that you do meditation, meditation practice.
So why is meditation important to you?
Oh my gosh, where do I even begin?
I think it comes back to the fact that I realized that when I meditate, I have more peace in my mind and that I don't have to be jostled around by the world.
I think that the world, life can be hard sometimes, right?
And certain circumstances can put us in a certain mindset.
But I realize when I meditate, I actually can determine my own inner peace.
So just to go a little bit deeper on that.
I love that.
Yeah, that's what it's about for me.
And I want to live a high quality life and try to be in that state of inner peace as much as I can.
Right.
I'm not trying to deny anything happening in the world, but yeah, just to find that inner peace.
So it's about peace, I think, in the end for me.
I love that.
I've tried to do a couple of yoga classes and I'm terrible at it, but I love that.
It's just so quiet and calm and everyone in there, I can tell, is really thinking about like how can I be a more peaceful person?
How can I, you know, live in a way that's more peaceful with everything going on?
Exactly.
I love it.
That's exactly it.
Yeah, I love it.
So what do you think is the takeaway for our listeners here, Aubrey?
What can we leave our listeners with?
Well, we all should be looking to live with more purpose and intention.
If you ask people to go to this level with you, to not just be an acquaintance but really get to know why they do what they do, why they care about what they care about, they will feel more connected to you.
Don't you think?
I totally think so.
This is brilliant.
And this is really in line with where we want you guys to get by listening to our show.
I mean, these are the skills we want you guys to have.
So your mission now, your next step, is to actually go out into the world and put these into action right.
Because there's a difference between knowing we should do it and then doing it.
Right, Aubrey?
Exactly.
And...
You do have the vocabulary.
If you understand 80 to 90% of this show, you are able to talk with people on a deeper level.
I know it's scary sometimes for me in French or Spanish to go a little bit beyond, a little bit deeper.
And I'm like, oh, I don't know if I quite have the vocabulary.
But if you understand what we are saying here, you do.
You're capable of doing that and you should be getting deeper with your friends.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
This is great.
Well, Aubrey, we are so excited to have you on All Ears English.
It's going to be a great year in 2020.
It is going to be great.
I'm so excited to be here.
It's been so fun already and I just can't wait to get to know everybody.
All right.
Awesome.
So we'll see you on another episode very soon.
Have a good one.
You too.
See you later.
Bye.
Take care.
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