That it is a uniquely Western neurosis, especially one afflicting people who've spent too long in psychotherapy.
To go on and on about one's relatives and their contribution to one's unhappiness to be 25 or 62 and still turning over in one's mind how mum or grandpa have been responsible for spoiling one's relationships or ruining one's life.
In case we thought this approach was irritatingly modern and self-indulgent, we should keep in mind that every traditional African society has entertained comparable thoughts.
From the Yoruba of West Africa to the Oroma of Ethiopia and the Hutu of Rwanda and Eastern Congo.
The patterns are always the same once parents or relatives die, and one then has to handle their ghosts or spirits with immense care or face grave mischief.
In Yoruba culture, those whose minds have been giving them difficulties have traditionally gone to visit a highly revered therapeutic figure known as a diviner or babalawo.
The assumption is that mental troubles must be the result of some kind of discord in our relationships to one of our dead ancestors who inhabit an invisible but active spirit world as distinct from the tangible everyday realm.
In a spiritual consultation, a diviner will take a measure of a sufferer's particular history and to do so will make use of a highly prized object called an iroki-ifa, a stick-like divination tapper, which they will start to beat rhythmically on the ground.
The sound of this tapper creates a special atmosphere that separates the session from the day-to-day and helps to relax the sufferer, rendering them more responsive to the babalawo's interventions and focused on perturbing ancestors above.
Appropriately.
The tapas' designs typically show a solemn kneeling figure on top of whose head is carved a divine kind of bird with the power to fly into the spirit world and there connect with the dead.
The babalawo doesn't merely speak about a given ancestor with their client.
They directly speak to this ancestor as a means of resolving the issues at play.
Someone might, for example, arrive complaining of feeling like an imposter at work and of their tendency to sabotage their best professional efforts.
The babalawo might then suggest that their success in business might be threatening or humiliating a long-dead father that the client described as an impressive but tyrannical figure.
At which point the babalawo might then do one of two things.
Either have a conversation with the father explaining that the offspring has every right to thrive, or if the father seems resistant to argument and continues to appear vengeful, then the Babalawo will firmly banish this person deeper into the spirit world and forbid them from ever intervening again in the realm of the living.
The Western world takes huge pride in the psychological intelligence that led to the emergence of psychotherapy at the dawn of the 20th century.
We don't need to denigrate the achievement behind this discipline to realise that much that was thought to have been discovered only in the modern age may in reality have been known about for a very long time already, albeit in slightly different terms.
Quite.
What one might have to do to keep an ancestor from ruining one's life may change from society to society, but the underlying feeling that one must try something seems to be almost universal.
The idea is fundamentally the same.
There are spirits from the past that have a power to throttle and ruin the present.
The headaches or the impotence, the paranoia or the bad marriage have to do with ghosts.
People from the past are everywhere, doing somewhat unholy things.
And the wise have always paid these spirits enough attention to loosen their grip in order to enable them to get on with their lives.
