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Hi, everyone.
It's Robin.
And I want to tell you that today, on Dear Headspace, we have got questions about recovering from major surgery, continuing your practice during the good days and using mindfulness to get to an ever-growing to-do list.
Here we go.
Have you ever wished you had a wise meditation teacher on speed dial?
Someone you can call after a long day.
Someone you could lean on for their advice.
Someone to listen and help you to see things differently.
Welcome to Dear Headspace, a podcast where I sit with a meditation teacher and we answer your questions.
Hello, everyone.
I'm Robin Hopkins.
And today it's me and Kasanga coming at you.
I mean, I don't know.
I'm in that kind of mood today.
I did not see that coming.
I did not see that coming.
Oh, my God.
The kids are off today.
So I'm going to.
I'm a little wacky.
I'm a little wacky right now.
I already know what that's like for you.
I just do.
All right.
Without further ado, here is our first question from Yuvi.
All right.
Hi, my name is Yuvi.
I'm from Brisbane Australia, and I have a question for you guys about how to adapt to sudden changes in life.
I'm currently recovering from knee surgeries.
I've just torn my meniscus and I've just been constrained at home and pretty much doing absolutely nothing, which I'm not a very big fan of.
But from someone who's been very active throughout most of my life, who socializes a lot, and I enjoy my hiking, enjoy my nature but all of that being suddenly stripped away now is makes it a little bit difficult to process and difficult to stay positive during times like these.
So any advice on how to look at this in a positive way being mindful about it would be awesome.
Thank you.
Change in and of itself is or can be difficult, right?
And then add to that it's dealing with physical injury.
Yeah.
And loss of routine, loss of like your whole, that that really knocks, that can really knock you out.
Yeah, no, no, absolutely.
Physical injury, I think, is one of those things that can be extremely stressful, and you don't even realize it until it's like present especially, as you stated, he's used to being active.
Yes.
If you're used to being active and then all of a sudden you get an injury and then you're like sidelined.
Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
That that can be extremely stressful, extremely tough.
So yeah Yuvie, I'm so sorry that you experienced this injury and send you all the healing energy that we can.
It reminds me.
So I used to be an acupuncturist.
Wait, you were an acupuncturist?
Like how many jobs have you had in your lifetime?
I'm also a fireman.
No, come on.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm totally playing.
But yeah, so I was an acupuncturist.
I actually had a private practice for about 13 years.
But I used to work with athletes.
Yeah.
And I remember when I was transitioning into teaching mindfulness and meditation and one of my first clients that I used I used my acupuncture patient and it was a wrestler.
He was a college wrestler, a senior in high school, D1 school.
And he had gotten injured.
Very similar to what Yuvie's dealing with.
It wasn't a meniscus.
It was he had torn his ACL.
Yeah.
And he was sidelined.
He had dreams of going to the Olympics.
I was going to say that takes out many a good athlete.
Oh, my goodness.
And he was, oh, my goodness, he was devastated.
And so I really used him as one of my first clients with mindfulness and meditation.
And I remember with him, it was like in his head.
He was just in his head on top of the misery, which is completely normal.
Completely normal, completely okay.
He had all of this negative self-talk, you know, like, what's wrong with me?
I can't believe I did this.
My life is over.
This sucks.
You know, just a lot of negative self-talk.
And so with him, from a mindfulness standpoint.
And we've talked about this in past episodes, I believe, but it's really focusing on the concept of acceptance.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
If you recall that formula that I introduced where it's like the stress times resistance.
Mm-hmm. equals suffering.
So if that resistance is at a zero, no matter what that stress is, the suffering that you experience is going to be at a zero.
Right now, of course, that's ideal.
That's ideally speaking.
But the idea here is to really pay attention to the resistance that you're bringing to that stressful situation.
Especially if that stressful situation is something that you can't change.
Yeah.
Like a physical injury.
You can't really change that.
You have to really just learn how to be with it.
Yeah.
But the resistance that you bring to it can really, really make a difference.
It makes all the difference.
So, you know, and, and it's going to be some ebb and flows.
It's not like a. a one-shot deal.
Oh, okay, I'm not bringing resistance right now.
I'm healed.
Right, I'm healed, right.
It's really about that constant being in the moment, being aware of how you're moving in each moment.
So with my client.
I was working with him for many months but The resistance that he was, of course, with consistent practice he was able to, it's like that stress resiliency just kind of kicked in.
Yeah.
And he was aware of when he was in that space of negative self-talk.
Yeah.
He was able to take those deep breaths, shift his mindset.
And what ended up happening is he discovered a huge love of reading.
Really?
Yeah.
Because there was open space.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And in that space, he was able to discover a more skillful way to deal with reading.
This injury.
Yeah.
I want to ask you, UV mentioned that he works out a lot or, you know, he's physically active.
And I think there is that other side of you know, like with your example, with the wrestler, it was like there was a loss and there was like a future he thought he had.
Whereas with UV, there might be.
I take walks because the physical activity helps kind of boost my mood.
It helps me feel better.
It makes me feel.
So if he doesn't have that, I'm assuming that's where the practice has got to kick in.
Or what other thoughts do you have around that?
Well, with the practice, it'll help.
I think UV, it'll help him to help you discover other alternatives to coping with the situation.
Literally, this is just literally off the top of my head.
It might be a deeper appreciation for the physical therapy that you might be going through.
You know, so that physical therapy. might start to feel that much more enriching, right?
Where you'll be able to come home and you'll be able to dive into that physical therapy more so on your own.
Yeah.
Again, this is an example.
We're appropriate.
I'm not trying to.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, as I have to say that disclaimer of like, please, all your medical advice, please.
These are just examples.
What I'm trying to say.
It may highlight that action that will make navigating through this already difficult and stressful time that much more easier, that much more pleasant.
And yeah, that much more doable.
Yeah.
And that awareness of that negative self-talk, I think, is so key.
Yeah.
Because a question I often get is, you know, what do you mean by resistance?
What is that?
You know, oftentimes it's that negative self-talk that we consciously or subconsciously Are aware of, that we do with ourselves.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
And I just I just keep thinking about what you said.
You know that something else might show up, like there might be, like maybe you play an instrument and you haven't had time to play it, or maybe you love singing, or visiting with friends or going to the movies, like whatever you're able to do physically, like this might be some time and space that you have, or that you you know a project that you always wanted to start or need to start, but just haven't gotten around to.
Like that, if you've got that extra time in your life, there might be space to to do different things.
The possibilities are really endless, right.
I'm thinking about writing, you know, and it can really be anything.
But the idea is, by creating that space, by stepping into that space of acceptance first, it creates that clarity.
You'll be able to see and discover, oh, wow, this is something I can do.
And you may discover you know, this could be a time to discover a new passion, a new love, kind of like what you were talking about.
Yeah.
Well, good luck, UV.
And we are here and we're sending you healing vibes.
Wishing you a speedy recovery, UV.
Absolutely.
Okay.
All right.
We are going to roll right into our next question from Marie.
Here we go.
Hello, my name is Marie.
I'm from the Czech Republic.
I have a question about meditating during happy times.
I struggle to stick to my meditation routine when I'm feeling well mentally, when I'm back home from university or when I'm spending time with friends and family.
Could you give us some tips on how to stick to the practice even when we feel like we don't need it?
Thank you very much.
I'm laughing, Marie, because if you could see my face, this is me.
I'm like, I'm healed.
I got this.
And then all of a sudden I forget all of the things that helped me feel better right out the window.
I think it's human nature, though.
I think that's just how we operate oftentimes as human beings.
So, you know, first thing I would say is don't be hard on yourself.
This is a wonderful question.
This is an excellent question.
I think meditation is one of those things where, if you're feeling good and everything seems to be clicking on all cylinders, then it's easy to kind of push it aside.
Yeah.
Kind of like what you said, Robin.
I'm too busy going out and celebrating my life.
Yeah, right.
But I would say the opposite.
That's an opportunity to dive even more into your practice.
Oh, give me a little more on that.
Yeah, because inevitably, right, inevitably we're going to be faced with stress again.
Yeah.
I think of the metaphor of the waves.
Jon Kabat-Zinn talks about, you know, the waves.
You can't stop the waves, waves being stress and turmoil in your life.
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.
Right.
So, yes, right now.
The ocean is tranquil.
Everything is flowing smoothly.
Everything looks and feels good.
But inevitably, there's a wave that's coming.
It could be big, small or something in between.
So when everything is tranquil and the ocean is tranquil.
Diving into your practice even more so allows you to build up that resiliency.
So when that wave inevitably comes and crashes down, then you're able to hop right back up on your surfboard.
You know, almost like a superhero, right?
Just pop up.
You know your surfboard comes out and you just hop up on that wave because you've been practicing already.
Yeah.
So you're just surfing.
You're able to just surf that wave.
Yeah.
More effectively, you know.
And of course, you know, nothing's perfect.
You may fall off.
But then you'll be able to hop right back on versus, oh, wow, I'm feeling really good.
Ocean is tranquil.
Let me just float on my back and just chill.
You know, I'm not going to worry about my meditation practice right now.
And then when that wave comes.
You're going to be in trouble because you're not in the space.
You're not in the space of practicing, you know?
Well, and you know what's tricky about the Kisanga is that, like when we're doing really well, or when I'm doing really well, I that's what I'm like I'm going to celebrate myself and I'm going to go do the tennis.
I'm going to do whatever this thing is that I want to do because everything's going so great.
And you're right.
It is the worst thing I can do, but it feels in my head like I'm doing a nice thing for myself.
So I would say perspective is crucial with that example.
You know, my question would be why isn't meditating and journaling and all those things you named?
Why isn't that treating yourself?
It is, but I think sometimes I process it as work, as like self-help work that I have to do to be healthy and well.
And I think there are some days where I'm just like, I'm just tired of working on myself.
Like, can I just like go meet some friends and have a cocktail and sit outside and put my feet in the grass?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, I think that that's how it shows up for me.
I don't know how it shows up for Marie.
My question would be, why can't it be both?
Why can't it be all encompassing?
Right.
You know, this might be a moment.
And again, a.
This would be helpful for you, Marie.
This could be a moment of reflection.
You know, there's a class that I used to teach MBSR.
It was an eight-week course.
And on the fifth week, the opening meditation was a reflection meditation where you reflected on On the reasons why you're taking the class in the first place.
Oh.
You know, what is your intention here?
What is your motivation?
Why are you taking this class?
Why are you stepping into this space of mindfulness and meditation and this lifestyle?
Because it's really a lifestyle, right?
It's not.
It's not just about when you're feeling stressed, right?
It's a lifestyle shift.
Why are you embracing this lifestyle shift?
And that reflection oftentimes well actually, it's designed to kind of reignite that intention, that purpose, that spark that brought you in in the first place.
Yeah, so that's something that that you know every so often in your, in your, just your everyday life.
You can just reflect.
You know why?
Why do I decide to meditate why?
Why am I practicing this lifestyle of mindfulness?
Yeah, and I can almost guarantee with consistency that it'll become second nature.
Yeah.
Like, let me ask you this, Robin.
Yeah.
When's the last time you stopped and reflected on the reason why you brush your teeth?
Right?
It's not something that you normally do.
I don't need to.
Right.
Exactly.
Because I get cavities.
Right.
But it's something that's like second nature.
Yeah.
You know, it's, So same thing with the practice, you know?
Yeah.
So I would just kind of, it's that perspective shift.
Yeah.
You know, this is a lifestyle.
This is something that we just do.
Yeah. whether we're feeling terrible or whether we're feeling perfectly good.
No, that's valid.
And Marie, I will say to you from my point of view as someone who is exactly where you are and trying to work through this same thing.
I think of what each one of these teachers has said, that I've been blessed to sit across the mic from them and hear them say to attach it to habits that you have.
And that's what I'm currently trying to do is to attach it to.
Like You know, Kisanga talks a lot about, you know, brushing your teeth or the first time you take your feet off out of bed in the morning or at night.
So I'm trying to attach it to things that are habitual for me.
And what I'm learning is like.
If I start my day and I don't do those things that are for my health and well-being, they don't happen.
Like I just had a great week like of journaling and meditation and walking Monday through Friday.
And then Saturday I got up.
I was off schedule because we had something to do really early.
And then it wasn't until 9 o'clock at night I was like, oh, crap, I didn't do any of my things.
And then I was like, I guess I'll do them tomorrow.
So it's like I could have used that opportunity of putting my feet on the floor before bed and being like okay, let me reset now or let me remind myself why.
So I just want you to know Marie, I'm with you and that's something I'm struggling with and I just keep starting again.
You know, just start again.
Yeah.
Those two things you said that that was so powerful, Robin.
The last part there, starting again.
Right.
That's there's always an opportunity to just start now because every moment is brand new.
And the other thing was the flip side of that.
We often give about attaching it to something that's in your everyday, you know.
Yeah.
I do give the example of putting your feet, you know, on the floor first thing out of bed.
And what you say, it really just struck me because it's like, what if I don't do it?
You know, oftentimes if I like what you're saying, if I miss it.
Oh, let me just throw it out the window.
It's over.
Yeah.
And that's not the case at all.
Yeah.
And Marie, just know, if you ever feel like lost whatever, I'm right here with you and just know that I'm probably somewhere uh, I don't know across the globe from you, going like this.
I should probably do it right now.
So you're not alone.
And I think that's one of my favorite parts about this whole podcast is that you're not alone.
Absolutely.
This is a global community.
Global.
All right.
Let's go to our last question from Michael.
Hello, this is Michael from Vancouver.
I'm currently a student in university and it feels like I'm drowning in my to-do list.
So here's what happens.
I have a massive list that I have to tackle every single day.
When I actually sit down to get the list checked off, I would feel stressed by it.
And I wouldn't actually do most of it.
Of course the list would get piled up higher and I get stressed higher and I would put the list off further and more things pile on.
I get more stressed and more things pile on.
I get more stressed.
Chicken on the neck, vicious cycle forms.
And now, every morning I wake up, I have this huge pit in my stomach for just how much I have to do that day.
Of course, metaphorically, not an actual pit.
So my question for you is, how do I use mindfulness to change my relationship with that list?
Thank you so much and I look forward to maybe hearing back.
Thanks.
That's such a good question.
I feel a little bit like these questions might all be centered around my life today, but that was so great.
I mean to-do lists.
I find them to be the most helpful thing in the world and also, quite possibly, the most stressful thing in the world.
In terms of if you don't have your relationship to them right or the reason that you're doing them.
Yeah, they can for sure be stressful.
To-do lists, they're everything.
Before I go to bed, I write my to-do list for the next day.
It sounds like Michael and I share something. in regards to just procrastination.
I had a real awakening with my to-do list that it was bringing me really serious, serious anxiety if it was too long, if it was like things were rolling over that I wasn't getting to there.
You know it was bringing all this stuff.
And recently I had to have a whole talk with myself.
I was like, okay, Do you ever miss a deadline?
Do you ever not get the work done?
And I was like, no, I never miss deadlines.
I always get the work done.
So then I was like, well, what is this really about?
Like, what's going on for me?
Like, what's underneath this?
Or Can I just approach this and be gentle with myself and be like, you know what?
I'm going to get all these things done.
And then I kind of moved to just prioritizing things and being like this is realistic for me to get these four things done today.
If I'm able to get one extra thing, great.
But I just keep having these like positive talk conversations with myself where I'm like you know what.
I will get everything done on this list and it will all be okay.
And I mean, that's what I've been starting with recently.
And it has completely shifted my whole outlook to my work and to my lists.
Yeah, I love that, Robin.
The reality is, there's always something to do.
Always.
Always.
That's life.
I mean, and that's okay.
For this situation, I would highlight the concept of non-striving.
So also, you know, maybe the concept of non-judging also, right?
Letting go of any judgment on yourself.
And so we all set goals.
We all have them.
But when we set those goals, the way we move oftentimes is we're so hyper-focused. on those goals.
Yes.
Yes.
So what non-striving teaches us to do is to set the goals and then gently let them go, and then bring our awareness and bring our presence to what's happening right here, right now.
I always like to give the example first of athletes.
Open, the NBA Finals.
And sports always reminds me.
I just think it's a very mindful arena.
Oh, for sure.
That's what separates the athletic from the champions.
Right, exactly.
Speaking of champions, that's the goal, right?
That's the goal of every sport is to win that championship.
But if the athlete is so hyper-focused on just winning that championship, They're not going to be able to perform effectively and efficiently in the moment.
Right.
So the idea is to set your goal and then let it go, and then bring your attention back to the journey.
Yeah.
And it doesn't mean you have to forget about your goal.
In fact, you can even revisit it every so often to get that inspiration.
But then again, letting it go and returning.
So in this kind of situation with Michael, your goal is your to-do list, right?
Yeah.
You have this to-do list.
Gently, you can read it over.
Get an idea of what you have to do for the day or for the week, whatever it is for you.
Then gently let it go.
Let go of the entire to-do list.
Then bring yourself to the moment, to the journey.
And choose one task.
Yes.
From that to-do list.
Yes.
My humble advice would be to choose the easiest task, because that kind of gets the ball, you know, gets everything rolling.
Yeah.
Nothing like knocking that first one out.
Exactly.
I guess that momentum.
Check.
Right.
Exactly.
I did it.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So choose that one.
And but here's the kicker.
When you're doing task a, having your full attention with task a this whole myth of multitasking.
For the most part, it is a myth.
Yeah.
So when you're with task a.
Your whole attention is with task A, So what often happens though, is when we're doing task A, we're also thinking in the back of our minds.
B, C, D, E, F, G.
So that's where the practice really comes in.
When I'm with task A.
I'm with task A.
I may allot a certain amount of time right for task A.
I'm going to do task A for an hour.
When that hour comes, boom.
I put task A to the side and I move on to task B.
My full attention is now with task B Yep.
Did I do task A right?
Maybe I can go, you know, no, my full attention is with task B. Yeah.
Right.
So and again, I'm completely aware that what I'm saying is easier said than done.
Oh, it's very difficult for sure.
Yeah.
But this is again, this is where the consistent practice comes into play.
And you I can almost guarantee that you'll find that it'll come easier.
It'll come easier.
And I want to just backtrack to what you were saying, Robin, about perspective.
I think that was so powerful about viewing.
How do you view your task?
Do you view it in a stressful way or do you view it?
Oh, wow.
I'm going to get my task done today.
This is fun.
Right.
Let me have fun with it.
And I also want to say, like, I don't know Michael's, like, work-life setup.
I know that I had a huge reframe because I went from – I gave up my day-to-day job, like you know, at a tech company right before the pandemic hit.
And then I became a freelancer as the pandemic hit.
Wow.
20 some odd years in corporate life where my nine to five looked a certain way.
And I was expecting that, now that I'm working out of my bedroom, I would work sit at my desk from nine until five banging out things on the to do list.
And like that never happened in the office.
I mean, I would take a break for lunch or I would walk and be like, hey, I'm going to get a snack.
You want to walk downstairs with me and you'll be catching up with people.
And so I really had to reframe what my workday looked like and my relationship to my to-do list of what's realistic and what is healthy for me to be doing.
Yeah, it's so wild.
So just being gentle with yourself, right?
Especially in today's world.
Everything you're saying Robin, just made me think of how everything in today's world It's just so like that that go go, go.
You know now, now.
Now you know, sometimes you just got to take a step back.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I have to be gentle with myself.
I have to take a chill pill.
I think what's really interesting about Michael's question is that just once again showing us that even what on the surface may look like a single issue or a simple question is not.
They're connected to so many other things and And there's ways to get in there.
And Michael, I hope you are gentle with yourself.
I hope you are kind with the to-do list and check them off as they come.
No, those are really great questions today, Robin.
So, so relatable.
Actually something that I've dealt with in my own life and it sounds like as I was listening to the questions is the basics course like, really just sometimes we just need to just start with that foundational, just just the basics, right?
So the basics course is is something that I would, I would highly recommend on the app.
And then, More specifically, there's a fight procrastination video that I think would be would be really awesome.
That sounds very good.
I want to check that out as soon as we're done recording.
But I'm going to continue thinking about being here with you right now.
And then I will think about the procrastination video.
I will not think about it now.
All right.
Well, big thanks to UV, Marie and Michael for their questions.
And hey folks, if you're out there and you have a burning question that you want to submit, all you have to do is go to sayhichat slash, Dear Headspace.
And that link, it just so happens to be in the show notes for your comfort and ease.
And if we use your question on the show, you are going to get three months of Headspace for free.
And I don't know, you can use it, you can share it, whatever works for you.
But I want to add one more thing.
As you know, each week we'd like to leave you with the opportunity to just kind of pause and reflect on everything that you heard today.
So it's time to transition from this moment to the next.
And as you listen to the recorded sounds from the very edge of a jungle, allow your mind to do whatever it wants to do in this moment.
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy.
And remember to be kind to each other and to yourself.
Dear Headspace is a Headspace Studios original podcast.
It's produced by Robin Hopkins, Ash Jones, and Scott Sorenson.
It's executive produced by Morgan Selzer, Sarah Cohn, Barron Farmer, and Danny Karisamy.
It's hosted and produced by Robin Hopkins, Keisunga Giscombe, Dora Kamau, Samantha Snowden, Eve Lewis Prieto and Rosie Acosta.
Post-production is by Dan Kroll.
Music is by Scott Sorensen and Chris Mergia.
And a special thanks to Colleen Lutz.
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