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Okay, math fans, in case you're just joining us.
This season, Molly and I have been promoted within the Problem Solvers.
We've also changed schools but, most importantly, we're trying to stop a new group of bad guys called the Power Hungry Pogs, who are even more devious than the Troublemaking Trolls.
So far we've discovered.
The pogs use moles to infiltrate different groups, so they can take over from the inside.
And while we haven't been able to uncover any moles just yet, we've got a growing list of suspects.
Hopefully it's just a matter of time until we figure out who the moles are and what the pogs are up to.
On Mysteries About True Histories.
Absolutely not.
But I'm telling you, Aunt Murgatroyd, he's changed.
I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.
Really?
The archenemy?
Head troll?
That Mr. Conklin?
Yes!
You two deserve a Conklin on your noggins if you think Mr Conklin could ever be trusted to be a problem solver.
Provisionary or otherwise.
I know how you feel, Aunt Em.
But he said he feels guilty.
He regrets all the bad things he did as a troll.
He wants to be on the right side of history.
And mysteries.
Mm-hmm.
And you believe him?
The same guy who tried to uninvent ice cream, who threatened to uninvent soccer, the guy who kidnapped me and you, Max.
I know, I know.
But if you talk to him, you'd see he's not the same guy.
He switched over from the dark side.
As much as you two are talented problem solvers, you're also woefully naive.
Trust me, once you have more experience, you'll see.
But don't you see?
That's why we need Conklin's help.
He's old.
He knew how to operate a rotary phone.
We had no idea.
Thanks to him, we were able to unlock the Force Pog server.
Let me just remind you that trolls are guiltless, shameless tricksters and agents of chaos.
Period.
They could make you believe 1 over 100 plus 99 over 1 equals 1.
Um, doesn't it?
1 over 100 equals .01.
99 over 1 equals 99.
.01 plus 99 equals 99.01.
Which is 99.01% greater than the chance Conklin has of ever becoming a problem solver.
Huh?
What's going on here?
Nothing.
Conklin's out.
But what did she say?
Aunt Em said 99.01 is 99.01% greater than the chance Conklin has of becoming a problem solver.
In other words, Aunt Em is saying Conklin has 0% chance.
Because 99.01 minus 99.01 equals 0.
Very good, Molly.
And come on, Max.
That wasn't that hard to figure out.
Like I always say, once a troll, always a troll.
But if you really think Conklin can help us fight the Pogs, I'll allow you to deputize him.
Whoa, Uno reverse card played.
I did not see that coming.
Yes, well, speaking of, I need you two to keep a close eye on him.
The last thing we need is a troll mole digging around our backyard.
Can you do that?
Consider it done.
Cool room, Max.
I didn't know you were a Pink Floyd fan.
We don't need no education.
Um, yeah, cool.
Thanks, Mr. Conklin.
Wow, look at this detective board.
Who are all these people?
And why am I on there?
Oh, that's from when we were investigating potential moles.
Ew, moles creep me out.
No, not the animals.
Pog secret agents.
Then I repeat, why am I on the board?
Because you were a suspect.
Still are, if you ask me.
Molly!
Excuse me?
What did you say?
Nothing, nothing.
In the end, we determined there were no moles, so we're all good.
From the looks of your board, you sure did a lot of digging.
Get it?
Moles?
Digging?
Right.
So, now that we unlocked all the servers, we need to shut them down.
Ooh, can I be the one to pull the power switch?
Hang on, it's not that easy.
It never is.
Nope.
Each server has to be shut down at the exact same time, otherwise they go into safety mode, which would trigger a whole new unlocking sequence.
On the bright side, that would give us more time to hang out, Max.
Ugh, nobody's got time for that.
I just want my car.
So, what's the plan?
Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to split up.
One team member in each time and location.
We shut down the servers all at once.
But that's impossible.
We can't communicate across time.
She's right. which is why we'll each set a 30-minute timer on our watches.
When the timer goes off, you shut down your server.
Is 30 minutes enough time?
The longer anyone stays in the past without a way back, the greater the chances of getting stuck there if something goes wrong.
Hold on.
Someone has to be in control of the time radio, right?
I'll have the time radio.
I'll drop everyone off at their time and location.
Once the timer goes off, I'll scoop you up and we'll reconvene back here.
We only have one shot at this.
Let's make it count.
Question.
What happens after we shut down all the servers?
The POG's prediction calculator should go offline.
Are you sure about that?
Well, yeah.
These five servers are the only ones we've found.
Couldn't the pog simply put new servers online?
Dude, why are you playing devil's advocate?
Think positive.
Come on, let's get this show on the road.
Hang on.
What exactly are you getting at, Mr. Conklin?
What if we could disable the servers and trace their commands, all while going undetected?
I don't know.
What if I could have a triple chocolate hot fudge sundae with rainbow sprinkles this instant?
With two spoons?
That would be great, Mr. C. But you can't always get what you want.
Ah, but in this case, we can.
Because I have a computer virus that does just that.
You can make a triple chocolate hot fudge sundae appear?
No.
Ugh.
I can secretly disable their servers and trace their commands.
Really?
How does it work?
It diverts the commands, so the servers appear to be running normally, when in fact they're actually doing nothing.
I could use something like that for math class.
Good one, Max.
The plan would stay the same, except we'd upload the virus instead of shutting down the servers.
What do you say?
I say... Max, can I have a word?
What?
Is it suspicious that Conklin is hijacking our plan?
Yeah.
Then again, what if he's right and we shut down the servers only to have one more crop up?
It'd be whack-a-mole all over again.
So, what do we do?
Let's call our shutdown plan Plan A.
And Conklin's virus plan, plan B. All right.
In plan A, assuming we don't fail, what are the outcomes?
We shut down the servers and the prediction calculator goes offline.
Or the pogs put more servers online.
And we wouldn't know how the new servers got online, right?
Right.
And in plan B, we could trace the source of the commands.
If it's only five servers talking to each other, we could shut them all down.
But if there's another... We could find it and shut it down later.
Plan B gives us more options.
You're right.
Ahem.
You two finished yet?
Charlene's bored.
Yeah, Molly, quit hogging Max.
So what's the verdict?
Looks like it's virus time.
Who knew an empty toy store at night would be so creepy?
I don't think it's creepy.
I think it's romantic.
Right, Max?
Uh, check it out.
A radio flyer.
Huh?
I don't see a radio.
No, it's not a radio.
It's a little red wagon.
I had one when I was a kid.
How is a wagon a toy?
It's just something to put toys in.
Actually, we used to put all our toys inside it and... Can we stick to the mission, please?
Okay.
The piano mat is on the second floor.
That'll be you, Charlene.
Katrina, you take the server back in Oshkosh in Vernon Woods.
Max, we'll take the one hidden in Zildjian's symbol shop in Turkey.
And Mr Conklin, you're heading back to the London Science Museum while I take the server hidden in the Colossus of Rhodes.
Okay, everyone set your watch timers for 30 minutes.
What am I supposed to do in an empty toy store for 30 minutes?
Play with the radio flyer.
How exciting.
Start your timers in three, two, one.
I don't know how I lucked out having my server be back home in Oshkosh.
I'd hate to be all alone in a strange place.
Poor Max, I hope he's okay.
Um, hi.
Where is Vernon Woods?
They ain't built yet.
How can Woods be built?
Oh, you mean the Woods Woods.
Yeah, we chopped them down to build a housing development.
Vernon Woods.
A housing development?
How am I going to find the server?
Yeah, try a restaurant.
Was this the alley with the painted star?
Aha!
Found it!
Damned again!
It's filled with symbols!
I thought we cleared them out!
Zildjian, what did you do?
I gotta clear these out, fast!
This should be easy enough.
The server is hidden in Napier's bones, an old analog calculator in the computer science wing.
I'll head there now.
Ah, there you are.
Ah!
Oh, uh, Jenny.
Hey.
For a chaperone.
You sure do like mucking about.
I was just, uh... That's it.
I'm putting you in chaperone time out.
There are 25 minutes left in the planetarium show.
25 minutes?
But... No buts.
You're watching the Astro Knights campers until the end of the show.
This way.
Chop chop.
Oh, boy.
29 minutes minus 25 leaves only four minutes to sneak away and upload the virus.
Hmm.
Where are you, Colossus?
I can't see in this fog.
Ah!
There it is!
But...
Why so far away?
Oh, why couldn't the time radio have dropped me closer?
Must be around three miles.
I've got 28 minutes before I need to upload the virus.
28 divided by three is nine, with a remainder of one.
One divided by three is one third.
I would need to run a nine and one third mile pace to get there on time.
Wait, that won't leave any time to upload the virus.
I need to run faster by a couple of minutes at least.
On this uneven terrain, lugging the time radio, that's going to be tough.
Oh no, I wasted 30 seconds calculating.
No time to think.
Run.
Okay, Mr Conky, or whatever your name is, I played with the lame wagon and I still have 25 minutes until the virus upload.
Boring.
La, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la.
You can play with Elmo.
Who said that?
Not me.
Elmo's always looking for new friends.
What?
Talking toys?
Ha, ha, ha.
Very funny.
Whoever's controlling these things, you can stop now.
I get the joke.
No one's controlling Elmo and friends.
We're Pog Avatars.
We know you're here to disable the server.
Server?
What server?
The Pog server hidden in the piano mat on the second floor.
Teddy Ruxpin, Furby, get her! if I could just get my bearings.
But everything's been bulldozed.
All the dirt's packed down flat.
Hold it.
The pneumatic tubes.
The connection was near them.
Excuse me?
Yo.
When you were bulldozing, did you knock over any pneumatic tubes?
Why would there be pneumatic tubes in a forest?
Um, because there just were?
I don't know what game you and your friends are trying to play, but I got work to do.
Great.
Now what?
Hold up.
Those bushes look familiar.
That was the entrance to the burrow that led to the pneumatic tubes.
Why are there so many symbols in here?
Aha!
There's a door handle that leads to the server.
Locked.
What was the combination again?
Yes!
I remember!
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
One, one, five, five, six, six, five.
Hold on.
Last time the symbols were numbered.
Now they're blank.
The numbers must have worn off.
How can I get out of chaperoning these kids and get to the server?
Oh, I know.
I've got an idea.
Excuse me?
Where are you going?
To the restroom.
The show is over in ten minutes.
You can hold it.
Ten minutes?
There's only fourteen minutes left, which means I'll only have four minutes to upload the virus.
Let's see what's in my pocket.
Maybe if I pretend I lost my keys.
Wait, what's this?
A toll-grade stink bomb.
Huh, I guess I haven't worn these pants in a while.
Wait, this could be the perfect distraction.
Calm down, children.
Single file out.
Stay with your buddy.
Now's my chance.
You got this.
You got this.
The Colossus is right there.
Whoops!
Ow!
My ankle!
Ow!
Ow.
Ow.
I can barely put any weight on it.
Now what?
I only have ten minutes left.
I'll have to walk it off and sprint to the finish.
Ow.
Ow.
All right.
It's feeling better.
Sorta.
Come get some, Elmo.
La la la, ow!
Elmo has a ouchie.
Watch your head, Teddy.
Take that, Furby.
Turns out a little red wagon is the perfect way to take out a bunch of evil talking toys.
And then you can pile them in and drag them away.
There.
Time to get the server.
If this is the entrance to the burrow, then the pneumatic tubes should have been... Aha!
A broken tube!
Which means the server connection should be in the ground right over here.
Found it!
Alright, I've got the cymbals all lined up.
Now, I just have to play the melody.
1-1-5-5-6-6-5 4-4-3-3 Oops!
1-1-5-5-6-6-5
By Napier's bones, I made it!
You!
Me?
That was you who set off the stink bomb.
What?
A stink bomb?
I would never... Ow!
Ow!
Ow.
Ow.
Made it.
With two minutes to spare.
The server connection is between the Colossus' toes.
Found it.
Here for a second round of brass polishing?
Wonderful.
Hey, what are you doing with that cord?
Um, it's a new technique to polish the inside of the statue.
It'll only take a minute.
Polish the inside?
Huh, brilliant.
Every inch will gleam.
Yes, I'm in.
Phew, I'm in.
Charlene is in.
How I wonder what you are.
Boom!
I'm in like Flynn.
You're going to pay for setting off that stink bomb.
Okay, I know this looks bad, but, but, uh...
Just kidding.
Honestly.
Thank you.
I needed a break from those little monsters.
Say, would you like to grab a snack from the vending machines with me?
Um, just give me a minute.
Yes, I'm in.
Here goes nothing.
Three, two, one, upload.
It's working.
I can trace the commands.
The server isn't obeying them.
Conklin, you're a genius.
What?
Who's that?
You think a cheap puny troll virus could stop us?
The all-powerful, all-knowing, power-hungry pogs?
Better think again.
Uh-oh.
Looks like the hackers have been hacked.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
This episode of Mysteries About True Histories was written by Dan Gold and voiced by Dexter DeGermayo, Molly Smith, Sheila Morris, Rain Morris, Caitlin Gard, Mike Praviti, Kim Davis and Adam Tex Davis.
Original music by Brian Suarez.
Our associate producer is Max Kamaski.
Technical direction and sound design by Josh Hahn.
Mysteries About True Histories was created and produced by Adam Tex-Davis and Jerry Kolber and is an Atomic Audio production.
