Chapter 3.
The author is presented to the king.
An apartment is provided for him, and he fights with the queen's dwarf.
The king was an educated person and was especially fond of mathematics.
When he observed my shape and saw me walking around, he wondered if I was not a machine built by some creative artist.
When he heard my voice, though, he could not hide his amazement.
Three scholars were called for.
These gentlemen examined me in great detail.
They all agreed that I could not have been made according to the laws of nature.
I was too small and too slow to avoid most dangers, and they could not think of a single animal that wouldn't beat me.
One of them thought I was a baby, but this idea was rejected as my body was fully formed and my beard showed my age.
They did not think that I was a dwarf, as the queen's dwarf, who was the smallest ever known, was some thirty feet tall.
After much debate, they agreed that I was a freak of nature.
I assured his majesty that I came from a country where there were millions of both sexes just like me, along with animals, trees and houses that were all appropriate for our size, but he did not believe me.
He and the queen ordered that I be taken good care of and that Glumdalclitch tend to me.
The queen commanded her cabinetmaker to make a box that might serve as my bedroom.
After three weeks he had built a fine box, 16 feet square and 12 feet high, with curtained windows, a door, two closets and a proper bed.
The board that made the ceiling was hinged so that Glumdalclitch could remove my tiny bed when she needed to wash the sheets.
My room was quilted on all sides, including the floor and ceiling, to prevent any accidents from the damage done by those who carried me.
The queen became quite fond of me.
She had a set of clothes made for me in the fashion of the kingdom and she never dined without me.
I had a table placed upon the one at which she ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on.
I had a complete set of plates and silverware made for me not much bigger than what I'd seen made for the furniture of a doll's house.
Her Majesty would put a bit of her meat upon one of my dishes.
I carved a bed for myself, and she was amused to watch me eat in miniature.
For my part, it made me rather sick to watch her eat.
She took up in one mouthful as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at one meal.
Nothing angered and embarrassed me as much as the queen's dwarf who, being of the lowest ranking that ever was in the country, became so proud at seeing a creature so much beneath him that he would always show off and try to look big as he passed me.
One day at dinner, this cruel little creature was so annoyed by something I had said that he picked me up, dropped me into a large silver bowl of cream and then ran away as fast as he could.
I fell in head over heels.
If I had not been a good swimmer, I might have drowned.
Glumdalclitch was at the other end of the table, but she managed to come to my rescue, fishing me out before I'd swallowed more than a quart of cream.
I was put to bed and suffered no real damage other than the loss of a suit of clothes.
The dwarf was soundly punished and forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had dropped me.
To my great satisfaction, the queen gave him away soon after that event.
The queen frequently scolded me for my fearfulness.
She used to ask me whether all the people of my kingdom were as cowardly as myself.
The idea that I was a coward was mostly due to my fear of flies.
Each of these was as large as a pigeon, and I had much trouble defending myself against them.
Often I would cut them in pieces with my knife as they flew past me.
My skill at this feat was greatly admired.
I had another opportunity to demonstrate my courage.
One morning Glumdelclitch set my box upon a window, as she usually did on fair days, to give me air.
I had opened my curtains and was sitting down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake when about twenty wasps came into my room, humming louder than two dozen bagpipes.
Some of them took my cake.
Others flew about my head, making me afraid of their stings.
I stood up and used my knife to kill four of the monsters, although the rest got away.
I took out their stings and found them to be at least an inch and a half long and as sharp as needles.
I kept all of these and have since shown them with some other curiosities in several parts of Europe.