Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm Crystal and I'm G-Soo.
I have a confusing Gen Z word for us to discuss today.
Okay, actually, I'm not even sure if this is a Gen Z word. It might be Gen Alpha.
At this point, I'm not like sure where the slang is coming from anymore.
But the word is Sigma. And I only know part of it. I don't see it as much now on TikTok,
but they're for a period of time I was seeing a decent amount.
And from my understanding, there's like the phrase Alpha Mill, right? And like Beta or whatever.
And so Sigma is almost like an alternative to Alpha without the like baggage of that word almost.
And I feel like when I do hear it being used, it's a little more like sarcastic or maybe like ironic.
It definitely doesn't carry that like really heavily gendered or like baggage as I mentioned of the word Alpha.
And I think it's supposed to be a good thing. Like if you're a Sigma character, you're supposed to be...
It's like kind of a positive thing. Slash like funny thing.
Do I actually didn't know like the connotations of the word Sigma that much, but I do see it used in the wild.
Kind of like a synonym to Alpha like he said or to Chad almost.
So it's like, oh, he's a Sigma male or like Sigma woman or whatever.
It just means that they're like really on top of like the food chain almost.
But this one is weird because I feel like I've also seen it evolve where recently my husband went to go play like volleyball open gym.
Open gym has like a variety of different ages.
So some of the people he was playing with were teenagers.
And he said that after getting like a score or something, they would turn to each other and be like, erm, what the Sigma?
And I was like, wait, what the fuck? I've never heard that phrase in my life.
Wait, me either.
I don't know this version of...
It has evolved beyond my comprehension.
The Sigma that I know, it's connected to some Sigma face.
And the origin of the Sigma face allegedly is from the movie American Psycho.
And apparently there's this one scene where Christian Bale actor, he makes this like weird kind of like eyebrow raise, like person-lived face.
And people were saying like, that's the Sigma face.
Dude, I've seen that. And I remember for a period of time that was like all I could see on TikTok, just people doing the Sigma face.
Same.
I'm so curious how it evolved from that to like, erm, what the Sigma.
Like what? I don't even know what happened.
But I remember the evolution there, at least as far as I saw, there's Sigma Riz or something.
Whoa.
And then that was kind of just being an independent person and like having yourself kind of put together.
And that's like the Sigma character that like has this like independent Riz kind of.
All ironic slash sarcastic in a way.
Yeah.
That's like the extent of my Sigma knowledge.
Dude, this is fascinating.
I wish you could like get a gen alpha person on and just like grill their brain.
Okay, but sometimes some of these slang words just mean nothing.
Like, skippity?
True, true. Skippity toilet Riz.
Yeah, I swear I've seen a TikTok of like, people asking what skippity means.
Sometimes it's in games, right?
They get matched with like these really young people who say it.
And they're like, what does that mean?
And then the kids like, dude, I don't know.
Skippity.
It's like a sound bite.
Yeah.
Dude, they're just playing us.
Actually.
Well, regardless of Sigma and Skippity, let's go to the real topic that we have for that
so today, which is taking the initiative with family.
I think one of the themes that we often mention when it comes to talking about family
is that as children, we just hold so much less responsibility.
But now that we are a little bit older, a little bit more settled, we want to explore how we choose to be more active members of the family.
And what kind of new roles we take on.
Yeah, and I feel like now, especially as more and more of us are living independently of our parents,
a lot of decisions truly fall into our own plates now.
So I guess like one of the biggest and like most obvious choices that we're able to take full control over is how often do you visit your parents if you're not living with them.
Which is actually something that I've kind of been thinking about because as I mentioned a few months ago, I felt ready to like move out from home.
And luckily, I have succeeded.
I have succeeded in doing so.
And so now I'm kind of starting to find my new routine and figure out all these new things now that I'm living on my own.
One of them is like how often should I go back home and hang out with my parents?
How do you find yourself determining these things?
I think for me, my parents have moved around a little bit since I've moved out the house.
So then how often I could visit them did really depend on where they were living at the time.
Now they're obviously very, very settled in Texas.
And I don't think they will leave anytime soon.
But for example, when they were living in Korea for a bit, I was like, okay, once a year is how often I should go.
Because otherwise it would be like financially a strain probably and especially with my income at the time, I was like, I can't afford playing ticket more than that.
And then when they were living on the East Coast, I was thinking maybe like twice a year or so.
And now that they're in Texas, I think the flight time is a lot closer.
It's maybe like three and a half hours or something versus the almost six that it was to visit them in the East Coast.
So I kind of want to do more like weekend trips and whatnot.
But realistically, it's been about three times a year so far.
Yeah, I feel like it's pretty hard for guardless of distance if they're just out of state.
Like if you just have to take a flight, it exponentially increases the effort and like the planning for these trips.
Yeah.
I could definitely feel that too when like I was in the East Coast and then you know, like coming back home,
it was usually just focused on the holidays because otherwise regular timing is a little harder to plan around you know work around PTO days off.
So I feel like when your parents were living in Korea, that must have been the hardest time to like, it's like so far that you're like, okay now I have to make this into like basically a vacation, right?
Yeah, true.
And maybe it was kind of easier in a sense because the decision was already pre-made.
It's like, okay, I will go visit them and stay for like 10 days or something.
I feel like it's almost the minimum that I would do if I were to go so far.
But now that they're in Texas, I feel like the distance is kind of shorter.
So then it puts me at this weird spot where I'm like, oh, I feel like I could just go and do like a weekend trip.
But then that means I'm not actually like booking the flights, you know?
I see.
And then it also makes me think like, oh, maybe my parents should just come and visit me and like stay with us.
So then there's just like a lot of back and forth. Like way more decisions and like things to consider versus when they would Korea, it's like, I will visit you and I will stay for 10 days.
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
You actually bring up another interesting factor which is like, should your parents be visiting you too?
Right. And I guess the only thing that I kind of have to go off of this is mainly like when I was younger, my grandparents live in China.
So the model that I've like grown up with is literally, you know, international travel and like the grandparents rarely come visit us in the states because they're getting older and like, you know, making those trips is harder for them.
Or maybe they're just like really busy in China and they're like, now we can't just fly over.
So now it's different because my parents and your parents are not out of country.
Right.
And so I guess we have to re-establish the normal that we know.
Yeah, totally.
And I feel like things will also change once we have kids and whatnot too.
Like I always think about that because it's been on my mind a little bit more lately. And I'm like, how will I know how to integrate grandparents into like the nuclear family lifestyle because like you said, what I know and what I can reference is like my grandparents being in Korea.
And then if they were to visit, they would stay for like a month or two or whatever or we would go and visit them.
But I don't know how it works for the grandparents being in a different state.
So all these new avenues to explore and not having a reference point means there's a lot of new processes that like you yourself have to set up.
Yeah, and I think I'm definitely in that situation too now where I'm like thinking about the new norm to have.
Like it's only been a short period of time since I've moved out. So I'm still like figuring out what makes sense.
And I mean, luckily for me, my parents are living quite close to me.
Right. It is very easy to just like drive over and hang out with them.
But kind of like you said, sometimes the easier it is, the more you're just like, oh, it's so easy. I can do it later or like I can just do it whenever.
And then that ends up making you procrastinate and like not do anything right now, though.
I don't have a routine necessarily. But because I'm sometimes like, oh my god, I need this one thing. And it's actually back home.
So I guess I'll just drive over on the weekend and grab it.
Definitely super fortunate that I get to live by myself, but also like super close to my parents.
And you know, speaking of having kids and you know, having grandparents in the nuclear family, that was a thought that I had when I was younger growing up.
I was thinking like, you know, I love my grandparents a lot, but I only get to see them probably like once a year and sometimes even less.
So I made a mental note on how young that like, oh, I want to live somewhat close to my parents, at least like the same country as my parents.
Because that way, you know, if I were to have kids, then they can be a bigger part of that kids life.
Right. I know. And it's so funny to like even think about these things more seriously now because I think when we're young, it's so much more conceptual.
And then in your like 20s and 30s, it's your real life, like your impending future is really, but it's so nice because I know at least seeing my mom and her relationship with her mom, there's just so much that you're unable to like share with your parents when they're overseas.
And you know, you want to cherish the moments that you're together, but maybe that means on the day to day, you're not necessarily able to like rely on them or you're not able to support them that much, except just like sending money or something like that.
So then it is a really big privilege to be able to live in the same country as your parents for sure.
Speaking of sharing things with your parents, how do you decide like what you share with your family?
Like you said, sometimes it's harder to share the day to day things with them, especially if you're not seeing them like every day or weekly.
So like some things I think about is, oh, I guess now, you know, if I were to just go out and travel for like a quick weekend trip, do I even communicate with that with my parents?
Like I don't have to. And it's like so weird sometimes to think of that like almost severed like line of communication.
Do I know I feel like when you live with someone, there's just so much small like day to day communication that you do and the ones you don't live with them anymore, you're like, whoa, I have to like manually update that automatic.
Yeah, like if you know, I'm living with my parents, any sort of travel, they'll have to know because I can't just like not show up at home for a weekend.
They'll be like, wait, what is going on? Like where are you? Are you okay? So it's like, you know, a quick, hey, I might be out this weekend.
Versus now, it's like, well, they don't see me every day. So if I were to just like be out for a weekend, they wouldn't know.
But I could like send them a text if they really wanted to know, I guess.
Oh my God. So one of the things that kind of helped, I think, ease the minds of me and my parents is we all track each other's locations.
So my mom and I have iPhone, so we have each other on by my friends. And then my dad has an Android. So I track him or we track each other on Google Maps.
And I just feel so much better about it. And I think they do too. Because sometimes when life is really busy, I don't always have the headspace to like text my parents and be like, oh, like I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
Or I might talk about a trip more vaguely like, oh, I'm going to go to Europe for two weeks or something like that. Right.
I think by using find my friends, my mom was like able to text me throughout the honeymoon. Like, oh, I see you guys are in Paris now.
Or like, I see you guys got to Switzerland safely. And then she knows that I'm safe and well and like still traveling. Yeah.
And then on the other side, I also worry about my parents. And I'm also like, oh my God, my mom's not picking up or like she hasn't called me back. And it's been like six hours.
Like usually she calls me back. I wonder what's up. And then I check the location. And I see that she's at home. So like there's ways, you know, or like little checkpoints to assure each other of our safety without having to constantly be text.
And they'll be texting or calling each other. Yeah. That has been super big. That makes a lot of sense. Honestly, okay. I have a weird find my friends situations with my parents back in the day when iPhones first were like starting at big and find my friends first came out.
My parents did use find my friends on me to make sure that I was getting home safely after school because they couldn't pick me up. So I usually just like walked home or bike home. But then after a while, we just stopped using it because I guess like high school ended.
And then the roles have been reversed now, kind of like what you said right now. I'm wearing about like where my parents are. So I actually added my mom onto my find my friends so that I can like track her sometimes if I don't know where she is or like she's getting home really late.
But then I haven't added my dad and so that has caused some issues because one time when my mom was like on a trip or something and it was just me and my dad at home. I get home like a Friday evening after work and it gets to like eight or nine p.m.
And I'm like, oh, that's weird. Like normally my dad is home by like eightish. I wonder where he is. And I was like, okay, I'll give it like an hour before I like start to worry.
And then you know, an hour passes and he's still not home. I'm like, okay, this is definitely getting to the weird territory because my dad's like bedtime is literally around 10 30.
So how is he still not home? It's like almost 11. And so I call him but it goes straight to voicemail. I'm like, that's when I start to like freak out about I'm like, oh my god, where could he be? Yeah.
And I'm thinking in my head like, okay, there is a slight possibility that my dad could be out like camping or something because he likes to camp.
But I was like, but he never told me so I'm like, I can't be sure. So I'm like, okay, I'll give it another 20 minutes before I call again. Like maybe he just doesn't have service right now.
So I wait 20 minutes and I give another call. And then this time he does pick up. And I'm like, oh my god, like, where are you? What's going on? Are you okay? Are you coming home today? And he was like,
oh, Crystal, I'm like climbing Mount Shasta right now. And I was casually. And I was like, wait, what? He was like, yeah, don't worry about me. Like, I'll be home in about a day or so climbing Mount Shasta with some friends right now.
I was like, okay. So I hang up. I'm like, okay, well now at least I know where he is. But I'm just like, why didn't he tell me?
Dude, it's truly a roller reversal. Like, it sounds like you have to establish some ground rules. You're a dad. You might need to actually ground him for a week.
It turns out it was a last minute trip because I don't know. There was like a couple of weeks where there was news about like potentially being able to see the Northern Lights in like North America.
And so him and his friends were like, hey, let's go climb Mount Shasta to see if we can see the Northern Lights. So when he came back, he like showed me the pictures. I was like, cool.
They're like, fuck it. I'm down. Fuck it. We ball.
I think he like realized he was like, oh, shoot, I forgot to tell Crystal that time. I don't know. I think like two weeks later, he went on another hiking trip, like an overnight camping slash hiking trip. So that time he did tell me in advance on Thursday.
He was like, oh, by the way, Crystal, like me and my friends should be camping this weekend. So I'll probably be going like Friday Saturday. I was like, okay, thanks for letting me know.
I approve this PTO. Yeah. I'm like, how could you just leave me alone with no communication?
Dude, I feel like the communication is so key though. I definitely had times where my mom was like, whoa, how come you're in this city this weekend? Like, what are you guys doing?
I think we were driving down to like, mammoth and I forgot to tell her we were going skiing. So she saw like our location in the mountains. She's like, are you guys good? Like, please tell me you're skiing.
And then vice versa. Like sometimes if I see my mom or my dad out late, it's hard to not think like the worst. Like I think especially because I'm a more anxious prone person.
I see their location or I see that they haven't responded and I'm immediately like, okay, they're not okay. Panic mode. Yeah.
But now that you are moved out, do you think you'll continue to update your parents on if you're going out on any trips and whatnot?
Dude, I don't know. I think yes, if it's like a big trip.
And then if it's like an overnight trip, I think it might depend on where to and like how far and with who I guess.
You know, probably if it's an out of state trip, I'll give them a little heads up. But I'm imagining like, I don't know if it were like a little day trip to Monterey or like a one night two day trip to like Monterey.
Maybe not just because that's like, you know, relatively small of a trip.
But yeah, I'm still kind of gauging what to share versus what not to share.
But I think definitely like international trips is a guess and flights that are longer than like two hours is probably again.
That's true. Like if you're flying out somewhere to a different city, that makes sense.
I guess I'm at the same time also trying to gauge what the correct amount of just general communication is.
In the past when I was farther at school, college, or you know, in New York, I would try to call my parents maybe every one to two weeks.
But now it's like, we're so close that almost feels excessive.
You know, it's like, I guess I could just drive over and talk to you for an hour versus like FaceTime you for an hour.
So definitely still figuring out that level of communication. And I feel like that would also help establish like how much I'm sharing with them too.
That's true. And that makes me reflect back on my parents like different living locations to and what our system was.
And I think the further we were, it would be phone calls. And then the closer we were, it would be text messages.
And then we were like, I think it would be a lot of time to talk to you.
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Dude, yeah.
Because my mom is very much the type of person
or like a type of mom who she's like,
I don't want to bother you.
Like you live your own life.
Like I'm a hands-off.
If you need me, I'm here.
Like I'm here.
And I'll always pick up.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
But I'm not going to force you on some sort of cadence.
And I'm going to talk about your dad.
And he was like, what the fuck?
And he was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she got really mad that I said that too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she got really mad that I said that too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she got really mad that I said that too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And she was like, yeah, I told my best friend too.
And there are some weeks where my life is maybe more exciting or more dynamic.
And then other weeks where it's like a maintenance week or like a routine week.
Like here, the things that I did are very mundane and normal.
So I was kind of like, should I think of new things that we could do together?
You know how people along distance relationships
maybe pick up like a video game together or they're like, watch and move me together.
And I'm like, should I be doing that with my mom?
Oh, that's so funny.
But I feel like a show could be a good one.
Like you watch it on your own time.
And then you like discuss it in the phone call.
Like, oh my god, did you watch the newest episode?
That's true.
So I did start watching the lovely runner because my mom was like, this is so good.
And I refused to watch your dating reality TV show.
I was like, fine, I'll watch your drama.
But honestly, I was like talking to a friend recently.
And she has been playing a lot of star doo valley co-op with her boyfriend.
And I was like, whoa, my mom loves star doo valley.
And I'm also like, yeah, my mom used to, I got her on it during COVID.
And she was at one point playing on her phone.
Oh my god.
And her back book like three different ones.
Or she's a giver.
Yeah.
And I was like, should me and my mom play star do valley co-op?
Oh my god.
Wait, that would be so funny.
She could show you around her farm.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you imagine I'm like, mom, get on this court.
She's like, okay.
Wait, that's wholesome as hell.
I don't know.
I think like this is also a, not just a long distance thing, but even when you live close by to your parents,
do you ever think of activities that you want to do with them when you go back and visit
or even when you were just spending time together when you were at home?
To be honest, not really.
The most is maybe like meals to eat.
Like, oh, my parents would totally enjoy if we ate hot pot maybe.
Yeah.
Or like, I would enjoy this meal and my parents need to tag a whole lot of people.
Right.
Or sometimes it's like, oh, I heard this restaurant's really good.
I should probably take my parents to it.
Or sometimes it's like, oh, maybe I can make like cook this meal for my parents.
So it's a very food centered.
For me.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I think like all most of the activities I think of are like very food centered.
I mean, actually, that makes a lot of sense because that's how I think food is often a
currency or like token of love in Asian households.
There's like an unspoken way to like, enjoy each other's company and whatnot.
Yeah.
I know when we go and visit James' mom, sometimes we'll bring our little like Korean barbecue
girl back home, plug in one.
Yeah.
And then we'll find different things to grow and do like a KBB Q night in or something like
that.
So like those are very special memories too.
Yeah, that's super nice.
Also like simple things.
Like sometimes I tag along with my mom to Costco.
Oh, yeah.
And I feel like that makes her very happy because I would say on average, she probably ends up
going to Costco alone.
Sometimes my dad joins her.
But sometimes she's going on the weekdays.
So you know, like we're at work and she's, she's like, okay, quick.
Before Costco gets to crowded, let me like, you know, go.
And so I think there's definitely been sometimes where I tag along with her and I can tell that
she's like excited that I'm there because she'll be like, oh, is there anything you want?
Like, you know, throw it in the card if you want it.
And I made her buy me like, hella socks.
But like 20 pack of socks, they still like Costco.
Yeah.
And I think it's so cute too because like, I think you've mentioned your mom does something
similar along these lines where like, if my mom's out at Costco or shopping, sometimes
she sees something and she'll take a photo of it and send it to me and be like, oh, do
you need this?
Like do you want this?
And I'm like, oh, don't worry mom, like I'm good.
But I'm always like, oh, that's so nice that she's like, you know, still thinking about
me.
And like clearly, like, oh my god, does Crystal need this now that she's like, you know,
out on her own?
Do I know?
Even when I go visit my parents in Texas, the first day that I go, I always like come
with some sort of a gift or whatever.
And then my mom will go into her magic closet and come out with like, oh, I bought this
like golf dress.
Do you want it?
I bought these socks because I thought of you.
And it's like, it's like the cutest thing.
Dude, yeah.
And I feel like there's almost times where I have to reel them in, you know, where I'm
like, don't worry about it.
Like you don't need to spend all this money on me.
I'm good.
And it's once again, kind of that role reversal we've talked about.
So I feel like another thing is the older we get and like the more independent we get,
the more roles of responsibility we take on.
Even if we're not, you know, living in the same household as our parents anymore.
So I guess like one example is kind of like I mentioned how I'm constantly thinking about
like food centric activity, but I will try to maybe like step up and take charge of that.
So like, oh, guys, I found this restaurant.
Let's go eat here on Friday.
So kind of like, you know, taking that leadership role to get an event to happen.
Do you find yourself taking on more of these like roles of responsibility as well?
I think a little bit.
And probably when I feel it the most is when my parents come to visit me and they're
staying at like our house.
I'm kind of like, whoa, because I'm so used to staying at my parents house and they're
like the controllers of the house.
Really, you know, like they're like the people who know the house the best.
And like they like my mom's kitchen is organized how she wants it and et cetera, et cetera.
When my parents come to our place, any questions that they have about the house or whatnot,
like they would direct that to myself and James, right?
Or like even the kitchen, it's like organized just the way I like it and the way that it's
useful and convenient for me to cook.
That always makes me feel a little bit weird where I'm like, whoa, they're like in my
space.
And to be honest, sometimes it's the gap between what I'm used to and the gap between what
I'm experiencing at the moment makes it almost uncomfortable where I'm kind of like not
used to the situation.
So then it brings up like weird energy sometimes.
I see.
And I remember when my parents first came and visited, I would get kind of snippy and
stuff because they were in my space.
And it was like really weird.
And I think I just didn't have the maturity to like be able to handle that situation.
I see.
No way now I kind of do.
But I just remember thinking like, wow, this is a little bit odd.
Mm-hmm.
Wait, I think I totally get what you mean.
You're like not used to having them there.
Yeah.
So sometimes you like act out in ways you didn't even mean to.
Exactly.
And then I remember one of the things we thought about was, I mean, first of all, it's like
when parents come over, I feel like what they do is like they clean your space.
And I was like, okay, mom, like you're here to relax.
Like, I don't want you to think that you have to clean this whole time.
Like just sit there and relax, please.
Yeah.
And then I think the other instinct is like, oh my god, like, you know, I have all this
stuff at my house, but Jesus doesn't have it here.
Like you totally need this whole sewing kit and like, you know, I'll buy it and like
stock up your stuff.
Like don't be like, you don't need to buy these things.
Like we don't have that much space.
Like just don't buy these things.
Yeah.
So I think that is definitely a responsibility to, right?
Like being the keeper of your space sort of and then learning to fit your parents into
that routine when they visit.
And I'm sure maybe on your parents end to, they're feeling a little awkward.
Like, oh my god, what do I do with my hands?
Like, what can I touch and what can I not touch?
I also had an experience where my mom was like visiting me in my space.
And I was like, this is kind of weird.
And it was like back in New York and she was like, oh, I'm going to come to New York for
like few days.
And she told me kind of late because it was a bit of a last minute decision.
And I was like, oh my god.
I mean, yes, you can come.
But I'm also like, oh, shoot, I have like, I'm actually busy on this one day.
I guess I didn't, I didn't feel as prepared.
And so when my mom came, she was like, yeah, I'll just like stay out your room.
And I was like, my tiny New York apartment.
So I was like, okay, mom, like you need to sleep on the bed.
I'll sleep on the couch, you know, all this stuff.
And she was like, dude, don't worry.
Like I can sleep on the couch.
And I was like, no.
It's like stop saying that.
Go sleep on the bed.
I think at one point I was kind of like, dang, like you came at like a unfortunate time
because I'm busy.
Like I can't be with you like this whole time.
And she was like, dude, it's not that big of a deal.
Like I can just go explore by myself.
Like don't worry about it.
And also like your uncle and cousin are here and I'll go hang out with them.
And I was like, okay, fine.
But like blah, blah.
And she's like, all right, you need to calm down.
Like, she was like, okay, I can see that you're a little stressed because you wanted
me to visit at like the perfect time where you have like all the amenities for me.
But like you don't need a stress.
Like it's fine.
You need to be on the couch if you need me to.
You know, I was like, no, stop.
You're definitely going on the bed.
But yes, what you said is correct.
And I feel like that is just another like taking on responsibility where you're like,
oh my god, I need everything to be like perfect for my parents because they've always been
like trying to make things perfect or like really suited to me as well.
I know it's like one of those things that I think causes a lot of friction too because
it's not quite the perfect role reversal where it's not like suddenly our parents are children
and where the parents.
But it almost feels like we should be able to take on that responsibility.
So I think it almost feels like when we're not fully able to commit to that swap because
of one reason or another, we just feel bad.
We're like, this is not the way that I wanted it to because you know, I think similar to
how you probably felt.
I was also like, oh, I don't want my house to be a space where my mom feels obligated
to do these things or she feels obligated to like fill these voids.
Like I want her to come and be perfectly relaxed and like perfectly enjoy and be pampered
and leave.
But it's not always quite like that.
The pampered part is so key as well.
You're like, you need to just relax.
I will cook all the meals, you know?
I'll do all the housework that you usually do.
Right.
But then I guess like maybe it's just so deeply encrained in them.
They're like, no, I can help you.
Like it's not a big deal.
And you're like, no, sit back down.
I'm like, mom, get away from the kitchen.
Like put the cutting board down.
Stop opening the fridge.
Yeah.
Well, honestly, I feel like this episode was so wholesome and it really makes me look
back on even some of these funny moments with our parents where we might have felt frustrated
or you know, feeling weird in our transition from being the baby of the family to being
a slightly older member of the family.
Like capturing more responsibility and also like taking charge of, you know, these lines
of communication as we mentioned and making more decisions, you know, when to visit our
parents.
It's so interesting.
We have like so much more power now.
And I feel like it's definitely a long period of transition that we go through and find
the like right balance.
And so it's very interesting to chat about it since we're both kind of in the middle
of it.
Maybe a little further along in your journey and I'm still a little early on in my journey
of that balance.
So thanks so much for chatting today about our increased responsibilities within the family.
And for our listeners out there, if you have any thoughts about these responsibilities
and methods of communication with your family, feel free to share with us.
We have Instagram at EatYourCrossPod and we also have email, eatyourcrossPod at gmail.com.
And if you'd like to catch our other episodes, then don't forget to follow us on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning.
Thanks for listening and don't forget to eat your crust.
