Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm G-Soo. I'm Crystal and I'm Cindy
So welcome back Cindy. It's been a long time since the last time you've been on the pod
So for our listeners Cindy's last episode was episode 26
Which is kind of crazy to think because this is episode what 194 I think wow
But before we talk about Cindy's topic we of course need to discuss our
Gen Z word of the week. Let's go
So this week once again, it's not like a specific word, but it's a phrase and I think there's kind of like two forms of it
And I think there's like an evolution of it. I think right now the final evolution is
Left no crumbs. Yeah, right. And then I think like the longer version slash the previous evolution of it was like
Oh, they ate it up and then left no crumbs
My theory here is that this is an evolution of like being called a snack. Whoa
That's crazy. Yeah, so like being called a snack was always just like a standard compliment, right?
But then I think this is an evolution taking it further like oh, you're even better than a snack
That's just a working theory though. I it could be wrong. It's kind of interesting too because I guess like the starting point was like
Oh, they ate and that is supposed to be equivalent to like they slayed, you know like they did really well or they look hot a
Snack is what you're called. It's like an object, you know, but then they ate is like you're the one eating that's true. You're also slaying
Okay, that's true. That's true. So I guess my theory doesn't stand
But interesting connection. Yeah, it always just made me think of that. I was like why is all of our slang like food related?
We're hungry country. Yeah, I love food
So I guess the meaning of it is basically they just did something so well that there's nothing to nitpick at
There's like no crumbs can you all confirm or deny or add to it?
That's correct. Okay. No, I sound like a boomer. I'm unsure now. Sorry. I think this segment tends to bring out everyone's interviewer
No, I thought I was jenzy
No, but I think that sounds about right, but this is one of those phrases where I feel like it
Lives on tiktok at least for me and like my world. I don't think I would ever say this in real life unless I was joking or saying it
Ironically, but every time I see it on tiktok, it just makes me laugh so much
I'm like it sounds so funny, especially when it's just like left no crumbs or like she ate like this is perfect
You're like you ate
This comment eight
Yeah, I think I also only see it on tiktok sometimes Instagram. Yeah, I feel like you can like comment like oh
You ate and left no crumbs with like a their outfit or like maybe that picture is like really amazing
Whatever but yeah, I've never heard anyone say it like in real life. I don't think that's true
I actually have it. It's usually only comments now. I think about it. It's not necessarily like a chantable word
I've been kind of like can't take lately just like like yeah like like that was us
But I can't be like
Okay, on what kind of posts do you see it the most often? Oh
There's trappy posts, maybe black pink at Coachella
Black pink okay, I like videos of people performing or dancing
I think sometimes like funny tiktok's will have that oh
Yeah, or like a rant maybe oh
Like a rant where someone's just like this is absolutely true
Yeah, this is a good one so last episode we had a mission with our Gen Z word
Oh our word last week was bombastic side-eye and we all had to use it at least once in the podcast
This one I feel like might be a little hard. Yeah, cuz we can't say it in real life without sounding weird, right?
Yeah, it's like a little awkward. So we're gonna say you ate left no crumbs
Because I feel like also after you say it you're not supposed to follow up like the conversation ends right true
That's why it's just comments
What do you even say after that like?
Thank you
I appreciate that. Oh God, I'm scared. Wait, what does that thing we said Gen Z almost said?
No, that's a real boom
I can't believe I take it back. I take it back. I can't even cut it
All right, well now that we've educated ourselves and found the true origin of leaving no crumbs
I think we can move on to the actual topic this week, which is group chat dynamics
I think there's a lot of really interesting stuff you could talk about with group chats because even though it's
Primarily like a communication hub for you and your friends in a friend group
There's a lot of like I don't want to say politics, but a little bit of politics
A little bit of inside joke management that goes on in group chats and even a lot of logistical stuff like planning
Following up with people on plans and things like that. So let's just go ahead and dive into it
I guess the first question to kick us off is have you ever been the one to create a group chat?
Yeah, I feel like yes with like birthday
Like buying someone a birthday gift and like coordinate with our friend group to figure out what they want and like
Usually I do it. It's been an ongoing thing where I am the
Person in charge of making these group chats and coordinating what should we buy for their birthday gifts?
But though I feel like those group chats don't really last. It's like a more of a yearly thing
And you don't have to remake them because you can dig off the old one exactly like 2022
Change it to 23 something that I find really funny about like birthday gift money pooling group chats is
Usually after the gift is delivered the person will be added and then they'll be like
Oh my god. Thank you so much for the gift and it's like a picture of it or whatever and then they stay in that group for like
The next 11 months
The month before their next birthday they get kicked and then it's like the same like okay
She wants things like this is X amount per person everyone Venmo me
Yeah, I've been thinking I'm like maybe I shouldn't add them in to like just kicking them out and
Fighting them back and yet so much work like maybe you just stay out of the group chat. Yeah, I will say I didn't get added into mine this year
Mm-hmm, which is probably good. Yeah, cuz now you don't have to kick me out
Yeah, and you can just go to the main group and be like you know, thank you guys for the gift
Yeah, well, I messaged whoever initially messaged me and said like oh the gifts came like thank you so much
And she was like I'll pass along the message. Oh, we did a screenshot
Okay, that's true. I'm glad that message has been passed on
So you know with your guys is high school friend group. I'm like I add on so like I'm one of the SOS in that
friend group and I always find it really interesting too because
Technically like the extended version of their friend group includes all the SOS right?
But there's like a
decision-making process who gets added into these birthday group chats. Oh, yeah, very true
So I guess the general rule of them that I've seen is if a friend's S.O.
Doesn't have a birthday gift pull chat for her like for that person
Mm-hmm. Then that person also wouldn't be added into like everyone else's birthday gift pull chats
Which makes sense because it's almost like a
K like this is like a Korean term where like a lot of Korean moms
Since they don't have like steady incomes since a lot of them are housewives
They'll get together and then each month everyone pays like a hundred dollars or something
And then they go around and each month there's like a new winner
So it's like once a year once every you know X number of months
You get like that pull and then that's like your emergency stash and it kind of reminds me of that like because you're not like
Yeah, and you're also not receiving you're not like in the birthday
Yeah, yeah, that's true because then sometimes it's like hard to decide like whether or not you should add someone
Depending on how close they are with that person. Yeah, and it's like a little strategy
This I like oh my add her will like like or add them will it peer pressure them to like right right once I did add
Um, so is James's birthday and I added someone's S.O. into the group chat like a birthday pull chat for him
And it was kind of different because that year I did like a virtual card
So I was like oh everyone signed this card right right and if you feel comfortable
Then Vemma me whatever for the birthday gift that person signed the card
But didn't send me the money. Oh my god, and then I felt kind of bad because I was like
Oh, it's really nice and sweet that she like signed the card
But I hope she doesn't feel like I was pressuring her to like send me you know money for James's gift. Yeah, but kind of funny
There definitely is some sort of strategy
Okay, but also question the more
S.O.s that our friend group has does that mean the less work you have to do like making the group chat?
Maybe come on guys
I can stop doing that
The past year if you think back are the group chats that you've made slash revived mostly for the single people
I feel like no because it was also like for the
non-single people
Nobody wants to do the birthday work
So I was gonna step it up
Yeah, exactly
I don't think you might have revived the James one too
I'm sorry. She says like oops. I think also okay maybe also because I have like a calendar and I put everyone's birthday on it
And then so usually when it comes like close. I'm like oh like time to like
Provive the group chat
Get it going because I know like people tend to forget sometimes. Yeah, right and we have a lot of people in our group
That's true. I can imagine too maybe like
An S.O. being intimidated to be like wow do I have the power to just like
I can't invite all of these people into this group chat to ask them to like pay for this gift. Yeah
That is true. That is true. Yeah, it's a little see there's like politics
For some reason involved in birthday
group chats
I actually have another thing related to kind of group chat politics. So something that I've noticed happens a lot is
You can have a group of people say like 12 people or whatever
Within those 12 people there's probably like 20 group chats
Do you know I'm talking about like there's a lot of group chats with
Similar groups of people and usually it's like one or two people or like different like you might be
Heading to the movies with a certain group of people so you make like a small chat or whatever
Right, and I always find that to be so funny for some reason even when it's completely innocent like it still kind of feels wrong
Like are we like excluding people?
I think we did that more in high school and college
I do feel like that happens a little less now like we kind of just use the main group chat
Regardless if anyone is going
But I think for bigger trips there's definitely the like branches
G-Soo me James and Ovi have one that all you the Korea trip
Do you still talking about your job? We do actually
Well, not very often just you know occasional things that remind us of the group
Cindy's like
Giving me a look right now. I'm like
I feel excluded
Dude, but that's like exactly what I'm talking about. I feel like even when it's not personal like I still feel like it's kind of personal
Like I take it one person personally
I'm just like damn you'll have a different group chat
Or like maybe they're like talking about something and you're not in the group chat and you're like oh do you remember when I put something in that and I'm like
You're like excuse me
Because I wasn't there
One thing we did in New York was because our groups were always like slightly changing
Maybe one person off or whatever
We had a bunch of group chats and we just named it the day of the event
So if it was like dinner on like May 7th and that would be like may 7th 6 p.m. Dinner at wherever and just all the people
That's smart. So when I left New York they you know made a new one
No
Pay the one I'm still part of is from 2022
You like reviving like hey guys
What's up? They're like why did you bring this old chat up like this event passed
I remember um in San Diego we had like a college friend group
So other people still stayed there after college graduation while other people like moved back to LA or the bay
Myself included and the time I found out they had like a sd people only good chat
I was like heartbroken. Oh my god
Even though I'm like logistically it makes so much sense, right like why would I be
Panged every day like dinner?
You're like it's the thought that counts. I just want to be invited
But on the like topic of like creating like actually creating these group chats. I never do that
So if anything I'm not the one excluding people
I don't claim that responsibility. He just like to be added it. Yeah
Actually speaking of I do think that creating a group chat like being the group creator
You have a lot of responsibilities
At least in the first like say day or something for the chat to be really kickstarted
So for example
My work friend Chelsea and I we went on a couple double dates and she made a group chat
I was like myself her and then James and her boyfriend
And I think because she's the group creator. Maybe she felt a little bit of well
I don't know if it's like pressure or not, but it's like you do kind of have to go through the checklist of
Creating a new group chat, which is like naming the group chat giving everyone nicknames
Sending out the first message and things like that which I feel like sound small
But it actually does do a lot of work in terms of like setting the vibes. Yeah, she had to like immediately come up with four funny nicknames
Oh my god, and a funny group chat name. I was like fuck
She's like in the next five minutes. I need to get all this completed
I mean she's very creative
Yeah, under pressure
It's very true. I think the funniest thing though is when someone creates a group and then they like don't send the first message
And then you're like oh what is this group for?
And then I think there's like two possibilities one
They're typing up like a long ass message, so it'll send in like maybe two or three minutes
The other possibility is like they created it and then they forgot
Think they got caught up in something else and they just don't say anything
So I feel like what I've started to do is when a group gets created. I'll say hi like very quickly
Bright thighs
That actually reminds me of like when you're kind of creating like a quick group for dinner or something
And then you like put the people in that list and then it's like an existing chat is already there
Do you know what I'm talking about? Like your old messages from like 2018 or something pop up and you're like oh shit
So this group has hung out before
Somehow this combination has happened before
But yeah, man, I think like the group chat name thing is really hard
Personally, I feel like if you make a new group and it's not just like an event group chat
It's like an actual group chat. Mm-hmm. You have to attach a name to it quickly
Otherwise there's no flavor to the group chat. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it also gets easily buried I think
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but I feel like let's say for Austin trip. You're really quick with them nicknames
Is like whatever happened like day one or day two like nicknamed for you
For handing them out like treats
Dude, it's the best way. I feel like it's like a inside joke manager kind of yeah, and it's like really funny
So yeah, I think I woke up the next day. I was like oh we all have nicknames
Yeah, but I think like in some ways when there's like a really good nickname and then someone changes it to like a different nickname
I feel so sad about it. I'm like
That's a good point. It's like when is a nickname truly good enough to get replaced?
That's true
You know in our like high school friend group group chat
I think my nickname has stayed the same for like seven years
There's iconic here's two iconic for us to ever inside a change it
Something of equal magnitude or larger magnitude would have to happen
Whoever created it eight and left no
Oh
I think another funny thing about nicknames is I feel like the person who
Makes nicknames for everyone else always has the shittiest nickname
Oh, right right cuz no one like it's weird to give yourself a nickname. Yeah
It's like attention secret
And then everyone else is obviously like not thinking about nicknames or maybe they're like uncertain of there
So then the common creator usually gets like a less funny one. I guess yeah exactly like the birthday thing
What if like nothing is happening and like no nicknames are coming to mind?
Hmm
Do you just wait it out or do you have like an urge like I need to nickname everyone in the next like 24 hours?
Well, I feel like if it's not organic then it would probably be a bad nickname
Yeah, you know, but then I think I do feel some sort of anxiety
Sometimes from like oh my god the vibes are bad because there's no nicknames in this
Clives are off
Actually, I haven't even harder question
Hmm what if about three or four of the five people in the group chat have nicknames already
But that last person last one or two people don't have one that's such bad vibes
At that point are you just like desperately like I just need to make something up now
Like what do you do? I would drop in like a filler nickname
And then just hope that one day we'll have an inside drug that's like worthy of a nickname. Yeah, that's so painful
I feel like as the non-nickname have her you would also be like pain
Right. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's real pain
Lots of politics in group chats dude
Goes crazy. Is there anything worse than being the only one without a nickname getting left on red?
Have you guys experienced that pain before?
Honestly, I feel like
Especially with the high school group chat. I've gone so used to it to the point where like it does it
There's no pain and feel nothing where I feel that I think in our high school friend group
It's almost funny to like ignore people sometimes
We're clearly past the point where it's like oh, they're hurting my feelings. They're whatever. It's almost just like
Funny now. Yeah, it's like rejection theory
Keep getting rejected to like okay, I don't have no feelings
It's a lot of work and there's so many people in that group chat if you're on like the messenger website or something all those face bubbles
Long row
I feel like before I I used to get anxiety being left on red especially with our big group chat because there's like 10 plus people
Yeah, and usually like it's like you're saying something like if it's like a screenshot then whatever
But if you're like saying something like
Do you want to get dinner?
Because you guys don't know hang out or whatever and then I remember like in the beginning of our group chat and when nobody replied
I would be like to one of my friends. I'm like hey
Can you say something? Can you like give me a thumbs up or something? I totally feel that actually
Sometimes that's necessary. Yeah, exactly
There's been a few times as well though in the group chat where someone's like hey anyone interested in like doing x and x
There's like no response for five minutes and then they're like okay
I'll go fuck my self
I'll go fuck my self
It's like the con of like having a big group chat. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, there's less accountability or like responsibility to respond
And like who knows maybe it's muted for some people or like it's muted for an hour because someone's busy or like
Everyone just happens to be on do not disturb
But I think even in big group chats. I think there's smaller
Sub-sets of people who are like closer. I think in our friend groups specifically. It's like the guys are closer
Yeah, so then I notice that people always rally for their kind
Oh my god, we're unintentionally sexist guys versus girls
There's a guy's group chat and there's a girl's group chat too
And then I know for sure there's been moments where the girls are like hey, uh, can you guys just like
Like hit me with a heart on my on my message in the main culture and I think also in every group chat
There's safe people. Do you know what I mean? Like people who you can kind of count on to respond or say something
I feel like in our friend group you two are actually like what I would consider safe people
Because you guys are really good at like following up and like responding
Every group chat has like the people you can kind of rely on
Mm-hmm. It's very true. Well, I'm glad I'm reliable. Yeah, I'm glad I'm your safe person
But I guess beyond the sadness of getting left on red in a group chat
There's also like big moments of like joy and victory sometimes
For example if you say a joke and it lands really hard and you get like five plus laugh reactor something
I'm like holy shit. This feels so good
I'm like they're making fun of you and you get five reacts getting made fun of then it's like pain
But you're like but at least like all the
At least people read my message
Actually, I have a question kind of back on the like getting left on red thing
Do you think it's worse to get left on red by one person who you're texting or by like an entire group?
Oh, I think by one person
Mm-hmm because entire group. I'm like. I'll just message them individually then right
Less accountability with a big group chat. I think for me maybe a big group chat is worse
Because I can kind of rationalize it in my head where I'm like oh if I'm talking to this one person this one person
I'd be busy. Right. All right. It's like 50 50 or whatever
But if I'm talking to a big group like there's no way all 11 of you are busy right now
Yeah, unless they're all hanging out without you. Oh my god. Is other group chat?
Yeah, I'm trying to decide which one's worse. Maybe they're similar. Mm-hmm. It's like similar degree because both of your reasons are valid
I have a funny story of our group chat. Yeah before I think our group chat was named like bad news. Oh, yeah
Yeah, there was a time. I think it was like drink COVID. Mm-hmm. There was also a time where I was like very active on Twitter
So I would get all my news on Twitter. I would constantly send like screenshots of like bad news
Into the group chat. Yeah, it would be like constantly. They're really like the brief screenshots in a row because no, it has her plot
So he's like man brutally murdered and Sano is a climate change irreversible by 2020
And I think it got to the point where like someone changed the group name to good news only
Yeah, and forbade me from ever said I mean dude. I think you was obvious
I remember being him. He was like why do we keep getting bad news? He's like good news from now on
Oh my god, does I mean you can like manifest the group chat vibes or like chit-dracktery with the group chat name?
I think so because I always feel a little hesitant now
I'm sending any bad news. I'm like, oh this is a really good bad news
But we're good news only
Tiffy sends bad news still oh
Strew so Tiffy that's against the rules
Just saying that that means that you're allowed to but just not too much
There's like a cab
Yeah, only one added to yeah only once a month
Yeah, once a month for both of you combined right so like if Tiffy posted this month like you have to wait till next one
I'm gonna wait my turn. Yeah, well, I guess bad news aside. Do you guys have any other like group chat pet peeves?
I have a pet peeve, but it doesn't have to do with people. Okay
I just am still really sad that messenger took away the like event
Reminder yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, it was so good built into the group chats. I can't believe like why who like who okayed it to be gone
To remember that party there
Yeah
I feel like it kept us accountable. Yeah, it was so good. Well reminder today. You have a group dinner at 7 p.m
Yeah, okay. I kind of have a group chat pet peeve and mine is people related
So something that I think is a challenge thought a lot of group chats face is
making rl plans and like having everyone pull through to those and
Something that I am not a big fan of is when
People are like oh, maybe I'm like maybe down and then there's if there's a good reason
Then that's totally valid, but if it's like oh, I'll see if I feel like I'm up for it or not
I'm kind of like damn that's shady. Yeah, well like maybe not shady, but like all these people are like left hanging sort of
And especially if you need to coordinate stuff like carpools or like
Hmm location in the bay like I feel like a lot of people live in different cities. Yeah, so if this one person is coming and they're from whatever location
Then the midpoint is different based on like who's going right so not that it's a huge deal
But it makes me furrow my brow a little bit. No, I completely agree because like you're planning something
Or I used to be a really big planner in the main high school group chat
I got to a point where like I would be like hey do you guys want to like plan something this week or do you guys want to go on group trip
And then there'll be no reply and I'm like
Okay
So it got to point where I was just like I think it's easier to like create a new group chat and then add people in it
True
That you have already asked individually like oh, which would be down for this and then they're like yes
And then oh, this is perfect. These are my people
Oh my god, and then you also could create a FOMO with that because you can refer to that group chat in the main group chat
Like then people would be like wait, what are you talking about? You're like you wouldn't get it
Yeah, hold them. That's like the inside jokes
Cindy the mastermind
I've all admit I say maybe a lot
But I feel like your babies are usually like oh yes, that's how I read them
Personally
Yeah, I feel like your babies are like if we asked you you would be down
And you would go you know
This is like other people who will say maybe or they'll say yeah, I'm down, but then not go and it's like
Come on
Yeah, that's true if they flake that that's like pretty bad feeling. Yeah, it's not like we begged you to go
Like it's an option. Yeah, it's like option like if you were inviting you and like you can just say yes or no
And then if you say no, that's fine, right, but then if you say maybe or you flake
It's like kind of like a bad feeling to the planner because we're already doing so much more
To get the group together, you know, yeah thoughts on what I've noticed lately happening in group chats is
Thumbs up if you can go like thumbs up this message if you are down. Yeah, I think that's better
Yeah, it's like a more solid emoticon
Actually saw a genius tactic recently and this kind of moves back to like the birthday thing
Mm-hmm for chrysal's birthday the person who was like collecting the money and like placing the gifts
I noticed that she didn't say oh thumbs if you're down and then I'll send you a memo request
She was like I'm gonna hit y'all with a memo request unless you say no. Oh, it was like an opt-out system
And I was like that's genius, right? Yeah, I don't know. I'll just like mind blown
You're like the authority. Yeah, she's like you have to put in the effort if you're gonna say no
Yeah, but I do think like the reacting thing uh-huh adds a different layer to
Group chats and I'm kind of like I don't know the jury's still out on this one because in some ways
I feel like it gives everyone a non-committal option to participate in the conversation
Without like replying directly. So sometimes it's like you can just react and then like that's it
You know versus before you would have to like go back and forth. So I feel like it does
Shorten the conversations a little bit, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true
Right, cuz then people can just react and the conversation ends. Yeah
There's not like a lot of
Susp-sistance yeah, and the conversation anymore
Yeah, and then if you say too much that message gets buried
So it's almost like a moment of silence for 10 minutes so we can all react
All right thoughts on emoji reacts to end the conversation
I'm like okay with that. Mm-hmm actually. I think it's less awkward than being like you know back in the AIM days
You would have to be like okay. I got to go eat dinner like I G2G
Yeah, like to too while and then it's like I don't know
To to final right and then later if you're like talking to them again
You have to be like okay. Hi. I'm back from jitter. You know what I mean, but then I was like the conversation is always there
Just like jumping in and out. So I think that's okay. Yeah, it's like always like flowing. Yeah
I guess it depends on like what I say like if I said something like didn't need to generate a react and they end the conversation like that like
Okay
Little sad
That's true, right? Oh my god. I just thought of a fucking genius
What if like you're in a conversation and you want to end it so you react to your own
Your own message with the thumbs up and then you just dip out
Yeah, I'm like you say even
Emo to God safe react
That you both agreed on it
I've kind of been into like Mimojis for me. Oh my god. Yeah, it's like the waving Mimoji
Are you a Boomer?
Shit
Topoopers always wait every time I accidentally hit them Mimojis. I like immediately unscended
Dude, they're so funny
I will say that messenger reacts are far superior than apple. I really dislike the apple like thumbs down react
We got so offensive way but the thumbs down react. I think is pretty useful because we do thumbs down sometimes in messenger
That's true, but I feel like it doesn't replace the sad face emoji. Okay. That's true. Yeah, that's true
I do want a sad face emoji, but the exclamation point pretty pretty good. It's true
That's true and like like they have okay ones, but it's bad that there's you can't do more. Yeah
Yeah, I think it's just missing one more like the sad one. Yeah
Because it's like if someone gives you bad news bad news only
On messenger you can like sad face it, but I apple you have to like thumbs it down
I don't like I don't want you to think I'm thumbing you down
Okay, that's true very good point very good point and isn't it like the apple one? It's like disliked oh
Yeah, it's like I dislike that message. So it's like high key offensive
I think the thumbs up is in a different place than the messenger thumbs up
Oh
Because I accidentally like
Mishit them when I'm switching between
St. James's like
I will say though. I do really appreciate like when people are reaction heavy
Mm-hmm. Like I think it always feels good because I think even though I said reacts can be a little bit non-committal
I think it also lets you be a little bit more detailed
So it's like I'm thumbing this specific message and then crying at this
Like you can do all of that kind of passive communication without having to like
Long paragraph response to like whatever spam that was sent people who react a lot
I think definitely do a lot of the legwork and group chats. That's true. It's like the silent support
Like again, like usually like when you're maybe contributing into the group chat
And you see like your friends your safe people
reacting to it and it's like I'm glad together here
You and you guys aren't participating in spying
Okay, but there's this one thing about reacting
So usually if I was like doing something and I come back to the group chat catch up you know read through
Um, and I try to react to messages, but sometimes I'm like am I like reacting to too much like I almost want to react to like every single message
Give every single one
Like the overreact and then I'm like shoot maybe I should be more selective like okay
I'll just do like every other one or like this one seems pretty good. I'll send that a heart
Like I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, it's like I don't like it. I'm on every
Yeah, exactly. There's no rules against it. The like is that weird like every single
As it cheapen the value
Maybe cheapen some all you know rules against it. Yeah, okay. I'll give it a try next time
I will say like when someone's catching up on a chat and they like react to one or more of my messages
I go back and I check um, I'm like oh is this message that they reacted and then I like reread the conversation
I think I do that too. Yeah, yeah
Same you get a sense of like
Happiness
You're like nice that was funny. Yeah, I'm gonna laugh at it again
Reliving it. Yeah, I think also some people just have more
reactable messages. That's true. Yeah, like one-liners. Yeah, one-liners do really well in group chat
Funny ones you're like
Immediate laugh
Oh my god speaking of the laughing emo thoughts on the apple one ha ha versus the laughing emoji. Oh my god
I forgot about the ha ha dude. It sounds so sarcastic. Yeah, it does. I always read it exactly like how you write it like ha ha
Ha
Because I feel like it's like because it's written
It's a good text like you can take it sarcastically
Like when you mean like read a message sometimes it can be more portrayed passive aggressively
It would not you know, but versus like an emoji. It's like oh like it's more ambiguous
I guess also the way it like pops up the animation like the small one and then the big hot like it's like glowing
Do you think you would like it more if it said lol? Oh, that's weird depends like if it's like cabs
Yeah, all caps lol. I mean how did it was like lower?
I'm immediately offended
I
Feel like a little all kind of looks weird though. Yeah, that's true. Or maybe we're just used to like the ha ha
He
Oh my god, he he would be less sarcastic right? Yeah, I think I would personally prefer he
Would be so funny
Like he you're like ill. He's like that's like a soft laugh. That's creepy. Yeah, like a little giggle
Can you like see like the boomer is he's like
Wait, that's true. It makes it more cringe
That's like this
fully grown man or woman
Reacting what they hear
Just like immediately know
So circling back to some of like the group chat political stuff
I have one it might not sound very nice, but I do think it's a thing that happens in group chats where
In a specific friend group some people are gonna be closer and then other people are gonna be not as close right and
Something that I find really funny is when a chat is like active with a lot of different people
So there's like a conversation. It's like kind of heated people are laughing and stuff and say it's like four people right
Say two of those people disappear and they were like the glue to that group before
So it's like the two non-close people and they kind of continue to talk
I feel like I can always kind of sense like the distance sort of in how they talk to each other
Cuz it's like sometimes a little bit less casual and also sometimes it's more like
There's more politeness baked in not just into the language
But like in the response attitude
Like if you were just joking around with your friend you just like blame them
Yeah, you like make fun and you know, yeah, you're like super casual
But with someone you're not as close you're like thoroughly responding to every
You know validating all this up and I'm always like this is so funny
Yeah, I feel like that does especially happen especially with the girls, you know
I feel like the guys like have no support or sometimes they're just like
Leave them on red or like whatever
And I feel like I feel like most guys in our group
Are all pretty close or especially after
They came back from that New Orleans strip. Yeah, they got really close to the point where it's annoying
Yeah, I just I think I just see it sometimes between like
Some of the guys and some of the girls like if it's just like one guy and one girl talking and they're not as close
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like a little
He's just like she's like the uh the little bubble and pop some no she's
Spectating from her notification. That's exactly right
In Kang Nita. I mean, okay. I know it sounds a little shitty, but I think it's just like a phenomenon that happens
There's a lot of friend group weirdness that's way more easily
Viewable or like trackable on a group chat. So it's like awkwardness of real-life hangouts, but like documented permanently
Oh, that group chat it goes back like so far because there's just so much
I think years and that like how many years wouldn't you do like 12 maybe that's crazy
And I feel like you would not be able to scroll back. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of times like a lot of our
plans get lost and like that group chat especially because
Everyone's always like we kind of have ADHD like in that
There's always like constantly new topics and he is diagnosing us right here everyone in that group
They're to hear folks
Like especially like we jump from topics to topics like so easily to the phone where like oh, what are you talking about?
And I feel like whenever we make those plans
Sometimes it doesn't happen or sometimes it does and like maybe some people don't see it and then they're like
Excuse me and you're like wait, scroll up a little bit
It's like it's not me. I swear. It's not me. I'm not taking the responsibility of
Not inviting or
Yeah, I know what you mean
I feel like they should be a way to like link relevant group chats to a different group chat
You know, so like people can see like oh these are the group chats for this trip and this trip
And if you want to go join it if not yeah, so basically you're trying to move our group chat into a slack
I
That sounds so smart. Oh God. Maybe we should I
Mean I guess we could move to discord
Hmm, but discord's like kind of I don't know. Maybe that's a boomer. I mean it's kind of hard in navigate
I feel like it's very similar to slack. Oh really
I've actually had an experience like moving a group chat into discord. I didn't personally like it that much
Mm-hmm discord is definitely really functional, but I think what I didn't like is if there's only one place for you to chat
Like yes things might get lost
But everyone is still in the same room at the same time
But on discord depending on how you guys set it up like if you have multiple rooms for different topics
then
People are having like smaller conversations here and there and there's no longer like a stream of consciousness chat sort of
Oh, yeah, so I feel like that's one of the potential downsides to like having a
Discord server friend group where it becomes easier and easier to like only talk about certain things that you want to talk about
So we shouldn't be linking our
I think it just means that the zuck needs to create more
Things to elevate the messenger experience forget Facebook just focus on
Yeah, actually
Actually, I don't use Facebook. Yeah, I only use messenger bring back the event reminder
Yeah, exactly. I think that was actually really really helpful. It was so good
You would actually get like a notification on you like oh you're
Notify I take out of this event or whatever. Yeah, I want Facebook and Google calendar integration. Oh my
That would be great too. Yeah, if they could just like collab, you know and not have to like one up each other
True, but they do have pinned messages now
Hmm they quietly added that which I do think is helpful, but because it was so quietly added and it's not like an intuitive
Feature unless you were on like slack or discord or something like that
It's easy to forget that that even exists. Yeah, yeah, I wish it was like a banner at the top. Yeah exactly
It's like a section of pin messages like an announcement banner
Yeah, cuz like I feel like it's hard to use cuz when you go to your pin messages and you click on it kind of like
Either goes to the top of where the
pin messages pin message is and it's like you have to go through that versus like if it was just like right there
I could just click on it, you know
Dude, so the closest thing we have to an announcement banner is basically changing the group name
That is actually true. You know like our next group trip. Yeah, that's be the group name
That's why in New York. It was just you know the next event
It was the group name manual reminder
I have another kind of funny group chat story
So in some ways I feel like if you've been in a friend group for a long time your group chat is like a history book
And like an archive vlog
James and I have been doing our wedding website
So I was looking for like kind of older pictures of us that were maybe like professionally done
So one of the few times we've done it was our college graduation. I looked through our entire group chat
Couldn't find anything like I couldn't find our album. Oh my god. I had all of our photos
So I
Message are like college group chat and I was like hey, does anyone have like our grad photos?
The ones that were like professionally taken or whatever
Immediately everyone jumps on it and they're like all scrubbing through the chat
And people are finding like the exact same red herrings that I also found like oh isn't it this
But it's actually like a different link and like whatever as we were doing that like we kept accidentally digging up like really weird old messages or like
Like what is this?
I was like these are not the pictures I wanted but this is fucking hilarious
Good effort
Yeah, that was a fun little trip down memory lane and luckily we did end up finding our grad photos
Oh nice dude actually what fucked us up was we had made a grad pictures group chat like a separate one
Okay, and it would you know the link and everything was there and we just totally forgot that but different group chat
Yeah, that's the con of having too many group chat
True, I also have a funny group chat story
So there was like an event or something some concert or rave or something that these people wanted me to like go to with them
I like they were in the process of
Convincing me to go
So one of them added me into this giant group chat that was like
Just a bunch of ravers, I guess
But right now when you get added to a group chat and you're not like friends with most of them or like the person that
Added you then you you have the option to just quietly leave oh
Like or you just accept the invite into the group chat
But you know how like when you join a group chat there's like an announcement like yeah
Someone joined right
So the thing is I never
Accept I never pressed accept to that group chat, but I can always see like the whole everything that's happening in there
So there's just a banner on the bottom that says like accept to like be able to respond or you can decline and just leave
But I don't know if I hit decline like will it will it be like crystal left the group chat
So it's just sitting in my message requests
And I think it's been there for like a year. Oh my god
No, I think you have to accept to like go in right yeah, you declined
I don't think there would actually be an announcement. So you're just in the hallway
Yeah, I am the door is a jar
You're just like peeking. Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll just hit decline and
And we'll see what if it makes an announcement though
What if it says crystal declined
But that reminds me of like a group chat scenario that happened with me
It's like I think there was like a group trip that
Someone invited me to their mutual friends some group trip
And I think when I was talking my friend. I was like oh, yeah, I think I'd be down to go because she asked me if I wanted to come
And then so she added me into the group chat
And then I realized like the dates
Didn't really line up with like my schedule. So I ended up not being able to go
But then it was like with like people I didn't really know that well
So it's like I felt awkward and be like just leave the group chat
I felt like I needed to like have an explanation. Oh my god
They already like invited me into their group
Right
And so the entire time I was like typing I was like typing trying to type like a message
Like oh, sorry guys like I can't go because I did something up and like blah blah
And then I think I spent like maybe 15 minutes trying to type that message
But you know what's so funny and like
Sad was that like if you're in a group chat you can like see someone typing right yeah
And so people like I'm pretty sure all of them can see just
Tipping for 15 minutes and it was like after I realized I only realized was when my friend was like you know even typing
Everyone was on the edge of their scene waiting for you to say something like this way. I'm just gonna leave
No explanation
I
This is legend has it Cindy still talking
No, I ended up sending it and I was like I'll just never leave this
Maybe they'll just kick me out
Wait, I honestly thought you were gonna conclude this story by saying like your friend who you already told you couldn't make it
Just kicked you out before you can even send them out of in merciful. Yeah, that would have been very nice
Do this is exactly why I type out all my like longer messages on like note matter something because of this exact fear
I'm like they can't know how long I've been deliberating. I actually did not know that like I think like I thought like oh
It was only like individual message you can see someone typing but I didn't think that group message
You can also see like people typing
I was like this is fine
No, we can see me wait can you see that on messenger? Oh, yeah, yeah
I just as like whoever is typing. Yeah, yeah
So embarrassing
I think like kicking people from a group though no matter what the reason is like feels kind of bad
Honestly, it's kind of funny like for example, I think recently we were in a group chat with like the girls from like Austin trip
And I don't know what we were talking about but one of our friends Tiffy was like just going crazy with the
With the jizz none of the jizz had any like contact
We really know so really random and then I think I was trying to have a conversation with like
Crystal and G-Soo about something we're talking about something and there was just jizz jizz
Like every second and I was like girl
Like kicked her out. I was like she needs a five minute time out like dude
You forgot to keep count and she was gone for the end
Okay, that was the most that was a funnier part because I think I was an add her back in in five minutes
But then I got I got pulled in like a work thing. Oh my god. I completely forgot to add her back in
I think it's the end jizz who added the guy she was like wait
She's complaining in the big group
So I was like uh add her in like five minutes
And then my manager like all right, let's go and I was like okay
And I was like by Tiffy forgotten
Oh my god actually that's true because I actually think it's funny when people kick themselves
Yeah, yeah, James used to kick himself like yes, yeah a lot of times like one thing's got too much to handle
He's like I'm out and then like someone would add him back in
And then he would kick himself out like
I'm like yo opposite of Tiffy yeah
Okay, what about this one like it's a really old group chat
No one's touched it for like a year or two and then suddenly someone leaves and the group chat kits brought up back up to the beginning
Oh god or back up to the top pain wait do you get notifications like if someone leaves it just like I think you do yeah
Oh, that's crazy
You sent me how many group chats have you left? Yeah, there should be like a rule book or a manual of like
Like a messenger and like the notifications
I just embarrassing myself and these doesn't figure it out message
I'm clearly a boomer
That is really funny though
You know it's been happening recently
Sorry, this is now just about like Facebook message
But but I just need to make sure that it's not just me
But sometimes I get like really old conversations that I didn't read they get brought back to the top of my list
From like 10 years ago. Wait out really I don't know. I think it's messenger telling me like hey like you didn't read these messages
It's like that Gmail said
This came in five days ago respond
Yeah, we they have that oh well
I it happened to me for a while and then it was so annoying because I was like now I have to click through every one of them to
To like mark them as bread so they go back down to their proper chronological order
Tells like we know I know that's interesting. We don't need a
Reminders of our past
So I used to do this thing where like
Instead of ending a conversation. I just never read it
Because I always have read receipts
Mm-hmm, and you have plausible deniability if you never open
So sometimes this is a secret but sometimes if it's like really bad
I'll turn off read receipts momentarily and they'll open up the text
And then I'll you know close it and then I'll turn my read receipts back on you don't just long press it to seat like read it
No, but like to get rid of the notification. Oh
But can you just clear it like delete the text
Oh wait, no, I was thinking about the iPhone notifications. Oh, yeah, no like the dot on the you know in messages and stuff
Yeah, yeah now we know your tricks
But I only do that if it's like a message that I didn't read and it's still a notification from like a year ago
I guess that makes sense though because if you have read receipts and they sent it to you like 2022
And then it's like crystal open this on 2023. Yeah, it's like kind of weird
Yeah, like what if they text me again, you know true
Do you guys ever like go through like your group chats like read back what we talked about well
I definitely do that
Sometimes especially if there was a really funny conversation or something. Yeah, yeah
I definitely like go back to like our photos
Oh, yeah, actually like history
Yeah, there's definitely some questionable photo
Yeah, there's some yeah, there's definitely some iconic yet questionable photo we won't talk about
When I was in high school, I had this idea because my high school friend group chat was like a gold mine of like quotes and memories and all that
So I was like I should make a business that parses through your group chat history and then picks like the messages that are the most reaction the most low or something
And like all the quotable messages all the like longest conversations and he's sort of picture and stuff like you print it out into like a little book
Or like a pamphlet and then that's like your group chat books sort of
Really right they should make like Spotify wrapped messenger wrap
Yes, yes, yeah, off in or off doubt right and then you get a messenger wrapped for the year
Do that would be so good. That would actually be really funny. Yeah, you're welcome. So I
Just give him like I do
Well, I think these are such good ideas too because like we'd kind of talked about in the beginning
group chats are such a
Way for you to stay connected to your friends and also tell the past memories that you share
So this was really fun kind of diving into the politics of group chats, but also the benefits
So thank you Cindy for joining us today
If there's any unseen group chat politics that you've noticed then
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