Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start.
Stop waiting to feel certain, progress builds confidence.
Stop waiting till you feel ready, confidence comes after, not before.
Stop waiting till they approve, most people are too scared to even try.
Stop waiting for it to be easy, What transforms you rarely is.
The number one health and wellness podcast.
Jay Shetty.
Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty.
Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty.
Welcome back to On Purpose.
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If you want to build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that come up in the world we live in, if you want to make sure that you have the habits to to transform your life, if you want to make sure that you have the inner world going in the same direction as your outer world, this is the place to be.
Now, how many of you overthink?
How many of you procrastinate?
And how many of you keep going round and round in circles with the same thoughts?
If you said yes to any of those, this episode is for you.
It's all about creating a clear mind and how to make better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer.
I think all of us are struggling in our lives with overthinking.
We're overwhelmed with the amount of information.
We're overwhelmed with the amount of choice.
We're inundated with insight data.
We're being sold to.
Our attention is being farmed.
People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention, whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are.
And so making better decisions has become harder.
This episode is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter and better, and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking and wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference.
Let's dive in.
Step one is catch the noise.
You don't have a clarity problem.
You have a clutter problem.
Before we decide, we ruminate.
We spiral.
We crowdsource.
We overthink.
But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality by up to 25 due to something known as decision fatigue.
Now, what is decision fatigue, you might be wondering.
Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row.
The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes.
This is because every decision, big or small, draws from a limited pool of mental energy.
This is a concept backed by ego depletion theory.
Once that pool is drained, your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing I'm sure you can relate or impulse, choosing the easiest or most familiar option.
Now think about that for a second.
How often do you make so many decisions from the moment you wake up?
You're thinking about what to wear, what to eat, what you're going to do tonight, what you're going to watch.
All the different tasks you have to get through today packing the kids' lunch right.
You've got a million tasks, a million things to think about.
By the end of the day, what happens?
You just want to do nothing, right?
You want to get nothing done.
Or what happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you regret later.
In one study, participants who were forced to make many small decisions, like choosing products, designs or preferences, later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self-control.
Now that's what I love about this topic.
It affects all parts of your life.
You're thinking the issue is you don't have willpower.
You're thinking the issue is you don't have self-control.
The truth is when you've become exhausted from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power.
It's a decision-making problem.
It's not a drive or will problem.
What this study shows is that over-deliberation isn't just mentally exhausting it actively reduces your ability to think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar.
That's actually one of the reasons people like Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions.
They've even found in studies that judges in courts were found to give more favorable rulings early in the day.
After many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled to give favorable rulings.
Now, how does this affect you?
Every should I adds up.
Every let me think one more time drains fuel.
So when you deliberate excessively, you think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment.
That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed.
It's the one made with a clear, rested mind.
It's why we say things like let me sleep on it, because that clarity, that rest helps you make a better decision.
Now here's an action tip.
Protect decision-making energy by making big decisions early in the day.
A lot of us start by making our small decisions as opposed to focusing on the big ones.
When you waste a lot of energy on all the small decisions, you've run out of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities.
So batch the small decisions.
Meals, clothes, routes to take.
Do it the night before.
Do it a week in advance.
Also, use pre-made criteria.
If X, then I always do Y. Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years.
Stop overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared.
Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look out for you.
Stop overthinking your path just because it doesn't look like theirs.
Stop overthinking the past when your future is trying to get your focus.
Stop overthinking all of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the quality of your life.
Step two, label the type of decision.
Not all decisions deserve the same energy.
That's a quote from Jeff Bezos.
And here I want to introduce you to what's known as type one versus type two framework for decision making.
Type one is if a decision is irreversible and high stakes, think deeply.
A type two decision is something that's reversible and low stakes decide fast.
Let me say that again.
If something is irreversible and high stakes, think deeply.
If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster.
Most people treat every decision in life like life or death.
That's how they get paralyzed, right?
Most of us think this decision will defy my entire life.
When in reality, you can apply for a new job.
You can quit this job.
You can look for other work.
You will find another manager.
These are all options, but our mind makes us feel like there are only two, either survive or die.
And as soon as your brain puts that pressure onto you, what happens?
You get paralyzed.
You stop having the ability to make a healthier decision, knowing that there are always more than two options.
For example, let's say you're not enjoying your work.
Let's say you're not doing something you're passionate about.
In your head, you think there are two options.
I either stay here and hate it, or I leave and I fail.
You don't think about the third option.
Maybe I should build a new skill.
Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile.
Maybe I should update my resume.
Maybe I should start a side hustle.
These are all opportunities and options that we don't even consider because we think there are only two options.
When we realize that most things are reversible and most things are not that high stakes, we actually expand our worldview.
Here's a mini action for you.
Ask yourself, if I choose wrong, can I recover?
If yes, then act.
If no, then investigate further.
Most people treat type two decisions like type one decisions.
Decisions that are reversible and low stakes, we treat them as irreversible and high stakes.
When we treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster, right?
Choosing who to marry is a type one decision.
It's high stakes.
And even though it is reversible, it's something that's challenging to reverse.
So it becomes a disaster if we act fast and we don't think about it.
And I've already talked about how we do the opposite.
Spend more time on the few choices that matter and stop wasting brainpower on what doesn't.
I also want to share with you something that I really came across when I was at university.
I realized you needed 70% to get a first class degree.
70%.
So that means someone who got 70 and someone who got 99 ended up with the same grade of getting a first class.
60 to 70 in England was a 2.1.
50 to 60 was a 2.2.
And anything below that was a three.
And so, when you think about that, a lot of us are trying to be at 99 when all we need to do is be at 70.
Now, Jeff Bezos also shares this.
Most decisions should probably made with around 70% of the information you wish you had.
If you wait for 90%, in most cases, you're probably being slow.
This is a really important thing to remember because in the process of wanting to be 90 perfect, we end up not even starting.
And this ties into satisficing a concept in decision theory that says good enough is often better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed creates momentum.
I want to give you a real life example.
This is a real Amazon example.
In Amazon's early days, choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type two decision.
If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it.
But building Amazon Web Services, that's a type one decision.
This required full commitment and long term thinking.
Bezos taught his team, be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles.
Here's the practical application for you.
Ask these three questions.
If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent?
Can I test this on a small scale before going all in?
And here's a bonus thought.
The enemy of speed is not caution, it's confusion.
This Bezos framework isn't just about fast versus slow.
It's about clarity.
Knowing what kind of decision you're making is the first decision you should make.
Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start.
Stop waiting to feel certain.
Progress builds confidence.
Stop waiting till you feel ready.
Confidence comes after, not before.
Stop waiting till they approve.
Most people are too scared to even try.
Stop waiting till you have more time.
You make time for what matters.
Stop waiting for it to be easy.
What transforms you rarely is.
Step 3
Feel first, then think.
That might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me.
One of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Damasio.
He said, we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically.
This idea from Antonio Damasio is one of the most powerful and under-acknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions.
Let's break it down.
Now, Dr. Antonio Damasio is a renowned neuroscientist.
His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential for rational decision-making, a direct challenge to the old-school belief that logic alone leads to better choices.
His groundbreaking book Descartes' Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving that We are not thinking machines that feel.
We are feeling machines that think.
Now here's the science.
Damasio studied patients with damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that connects emotional processing with rational thinking.
These patients had normal IQ.
They could reason and analyze logically, but couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what to wear or which pen to use.
They were emotionally numb as a result.
Their decision-making broke down completely.
His conclusion, without emotion, logic stalls.
Emotion isn't noise, it's navigation.
Here's what this really means in real life.
You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt.
Then your brain builds a logical story to support or justify that feeling.
Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job.
So you build a logical case like the market's unstable or this isn't the right time.
But deep down, your hesitation might be emotional.
Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of losing identity.
The logic is the cover.
The emotion is the compass.
Feel first, then think clearly.
If you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional.
So here's how to use this insight.
This is a three-step emotion check-in before big decisions.
Name the dominant emotion you're feeling.
Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy?
And then ask, is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by past wounds?
Then engage logic.
Now you're making decisions from wholeness, not habit.
So to me, asking that question, what emotion is driving this decision?
And naming it fear, guilt, love, ego.
Then asking, is that emotion trustworthy right now will save you so much.
I'll give an example.
If someone hurts me, and I'm thinking about hurting them back, if I ask myself where's that coming from?
It's coming from revenge.
Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion?
Probably not.
So how I want to behave and how I want to act may be something I regret.
Don't ignore your intuitions.
Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom.
Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no.
Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system already gave you an answer.
Stop pretending you don't know when you've known all along.
Step four, play the 10, 10, 10 game.
Most regrets aren't from what we choose, but from not zooming out.
That's from Susie Welch's 10, 10, 10 rule.
Ask yourself, how will I feel about this in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about this in 10 months?
How will I feel about this in 10 years?
This activates the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for long-term thinking, basically reducing impulsive errors.
Here's a mini action.
Voice record yourself answering those three questions.
Don't write, speak.
Speaking activates deeper truth.
It's a great way of asking yourself, am I wasting time?
Am I focusing on the wrong thing?
Am I overreacting to this situation?
Will this matter in 10 minutes?
Will this matter in 10 months?
Will this matter in 10 years?
Step five, create a regret simulation.
There's a famous quote that says, fear of future regret warps present choices.
We wrongly fear regret before we decide.
But Harvard research shows that predicted regret is often exaggerated.
Regret feels real, but it's a simulation.
We have to use it deliberately, not reactively.
Imagine both paths.
Ask yourself, if I choose this and it fails, will I respect who I become anyways?
What a great question.
If I choose this and it fails, will I respect who I became anyway?
That's your real North Star, your integrity, not your outcome.
Stop aiming for a perfect life.
Aim for a life you're proud to remember.
Stop holding back just to stay safe.
Safety won't comfort you at 80.
Stop letting fear make your decisions.
It's not the one who has to live with them.
Stop asking, what if it goes wrong?
Ask, what if I never tried?
Stop replaying the past and use that energy to create a better now.
Step number six, ask the three identity questions.
Don't ask what's smart.
Ask what's in alignment.
Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain.
But Vedic wisdom teaches that the right action is the one aligned with your deeper purpose.
So ask, what kind of person do I want to become?
Which decision reflects that version of me?
What am I willing to lose to protect that?
And you can write down your future self in three bullet points and make your choices then, not as the current you.
Deciding who you become is the most important decision you'll ever make.
But most of us decide what we want.
We decide what we desire.
We don't decide who we dream to be.
We don't desire which skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only results we want to see.
I hope this is your reminder that, whether you have the dream job or not, whether you have the dream life or not, that you're becoming the person you want to be, that is ready to receive what you deserve.
Step number seven, decide then move.
The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision.
The brain's anterior cingulate cortex hates uncertainty.
That's why indecision feels like anxiety.
Action reduces anxiety, not certainty.
Once you choose, do something physical within five minutes.
Call the person.
Send the email.
Book that ticket now.
Cancel that plan.
Remember, action conquers anxiety.
Not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring it all out, actually moving forward.
I hope these seven steps help you towards making better decisions in your life overcoming overthinking and overcoming procrastination.
And I'll see you here on another episode of On Purpose.
Make sure you tag me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of the insights that you're gaining.
And remember, I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.
If you love this episode, you'll love my conversation with Dr Joe Dispenza on why stress and overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart and how to change your habits that are on autopilot.
Listen to it right now.
How many times do we have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering?
That's the moment of change.
No one cares how many times you fell off the bicycle.
If you ride the bicycle now, you ride the bike.
