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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning.
This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to get out of the house.
For people with in-person jobs or kids to watch at sports practices, a day spent completely at home may feel like a dream.
But if your daily life doesn't require you to get out of the house regularly, you're wise to get yourself out the door sometimes anyway.
And in particular, to a place where people know and recognize you.
So you may have heard of the concept of a third place.
This is a place that is not home and is not work, where you can interact with people and feel connected.
Howard Schultz famously claimed that Starbucks was a third place.
And of course, there was the bar in the TV show Cheers, where everybody knows your name.
Much has been written of late about the decline of traditional third places like say, a union hall or the VFW or other such places where people would gather.
And that's too bad, since these days, for many people, such places wouldn't even be a third place.
They'd actually be a second place.
A lot of us don't go into an office regularly, thanks to the rise of remote work.
And, of course, stay-at-home parents wouldn't have an office but still have the same need for connection as everyone else.
So if you fall into these categories and spend many hours a day in your house...
Consider where you might go regularly for a change of scenery and some conversation.
That is, a place that might be a second or third place for you.
It might be a coffee shop, but it might also be a library or a bar or a community center or a co-working space or a busy local playground where you tend to go at the same time most days.
Maybe it's a regular fellowship at your house of worship, or a volunteer gig or a space associated with a particular form of activism that is important to you.
Now, I will say that in many cases, getting out of the house is inefficient.
Maybe you only have a few hours where all your kids are out of the house at school.
You're trying to cram a full-time job into that time.
People might be loud at the coffee shop.
Or maybe the Wi-Fi at the library is sometimes spotty.
But it still tends to be a human need to want to cross paths with other people and stay connected.
You don't have to discuss the meaning of life or your deepest hopes and dreams for a conversation to feel good.
Even talking about something mundane can work.
What's more, weak ties are often how we find things like new jobs and meet new people in general, because our strong ties already know about the same jobs and people we do.
The guy at the coffee shop with the public radio sticker on his laptop, who drinks a lot of tea just like you do, may be the person who points you to your next big client.
The woman at the dog park may mention how her son volunteered at the Humane Society when he was a kid.
And you realize that is the perfect summer experience for your animal-loving daughter.
Crossing paths with more people means we become more aware of more opportunities.
Another reason for getting out of the house is just practical.
It keeps your social skills sharp.
A remote worker I know of says only half-jokingly that if she doesn't leave her house for a couple of days, she starts feeling herself getting weird.
Remember your first in-person interactions after the worst of the COVID pandemic and you will know what she means.
So be on the lookout for a good third place or perhaps a second place if that's what it is for you.
Continuing with this list, it could be your gym.
It could be a bookstore.
Ideally, it's a place that doesn't require a lot of advanced planning for you to go to.
As for when you go to your third slash second place, an obvious idea is to go there to work.
Take your laptop and headphones and work there for a morning.
You can also go to your third place for a meal or beverage.
You really can take yourself out for bacon and eggs or a cup of coffee or a salad without a companion.
Third places are also great for leisure.
Meet up with a friend, take a book or magazine, or people watch and say hi to friends you run into.
I can see setting the norm that you will get out of your house at least once a day.
If you have an in-person meeting or a volunteer commitment, a social engagement, a doctor's appointment or exercise class, those could all be your outing for the day.
But if you would otherwise be home all day, maybe decide that it would still be wise to get out of the house for at least a little bit.
Visit your other place, whether that's your third place or second place, and you will probably feel better as a result.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravanderkam.com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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