You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.
Hey, it's Marielle.
I was on my way to the airport last weekend when I got an email from the airline.
Your flight was canceled, the subject line said.
Our apologies. They couldn't find a flight to rebook me on, so I'd have to call them about my options and presumably wait on hold for, well, Lord only knows, or cancel my trip.
Luckily, I was only about a 15 -minute drive from home, although rerouting back to my residence in the ride -share app proved impossible, and the driver couldn't think of any options besides dropping me on a random street in Brooklyn with my suitcase.
And here I was, thinking technology is supposed to work for us, not the other way around.
Compared to some people though, I had it easy.
So I was halfway to Hawaii with my partner and my two kids.
This is travel journalist Amelia Edelman.
We were on our layover in Los Angeles.
where we met up with my brother and his wife, who were joining us for the next flight to Kauai.
We'd been in LA for just a few hours and we got the alert that our flight was canceled.
So all six of us rebooked for the next day.
But when the next day came, only my brother and sister -in -law were allowed to board that next flight.
Sorry, we overbooked.
That was all the customer service rep told me while my two -year -old howled in the background.
My family and I ended up spending three days stuck in Los Angeles, getting our flights re -booked, canceled again, re -booked again.
Amelia had to stay in hotels, feed her kids pricey restaurant meals, and take expensive L .A.
Ubers back and forth from the airport, all while her mom, two brothers, their wives, and kids waited for her in Kauai.
What made it worse was that my credit card was charged for every rebooking, totaling about a dozen flights.
So even after we made it to Hawaii and home again, I spent weeks fighting for refunds of all the flights that my family never even took.
As Amelia and so many of us have experienced lately, air travel in 2025 is a far cry from its golden age.
In fact, air travel is getting worse and worse, with data from the U .S. Department of Transportation showing an increase in canceled flights through 2024 when compared with the previous two years.
But there are smart ways to make air travel work for you.
On this episode of LifeKit, Amelia talks with travel and negotiation experts about everything you can do to avoid drama filled air travel, and shares what she learned through her own experience as a travel journalist and consumer stymied by cancelled flights.
She's going to share tips for how to protect yourself when you're booking flights and what to do when you're mid -delay or cancellation.
And I can tell you right now, what not to do, don't scream at the flight attendance.
My first mistake, when our flights were first cancelled, a third party booker, that's a reached out and offered to rebook me fast. It turns out, as I learned too late, plenty of travelers have had issues with this exact site and others like it.
I am very vehemently against booking three -third parties for flights.
That's Chris Dong, a travel reporter with the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Travel and Leisure, and other publications.
I book direct, always.
And in terms of pricing, it's usually, there usually shouldn't be a difference, But, in terms of protecting yourself for future issues, I always book direct.
Which brings us to takeaway number one, book smart.
From the moment you first book your flight, you have opportunities to be proactive and protective from the get -go.
That means not booking through a third party site.
I learned this the hard way.
When my Rebook to Hawaii flight was re -canceled, the third party booking site wouldn't help me, and the airline didn't even know the third party site had told me I was re -booked.
because apparently I never was.
Chris says you can also protect your future self when booking by selecting flights that take off earlier in the day.
That's the best bet for avoiding cancellations or delays in the first place.
Because that same aircraft is going to be flying maybe six, seven, eight times that day, going back and forth between New York and Boston or whatever two cities it is.
So your better bet is to fly earlier in the day to avoid delays and cancellations.
Chris, like so many of us weary travelers, experienced this firsthand when trying to fly from London to New York on an evening flight.
It was delayed a couple hours on the tarmac and then another couple hours.
Which is pretty much the worst because you're in limbo.
At some point, the crew had timed out, so in that case, everyone has to get off the plane.
We have to find a new crew and figure out how to get back home.
So, booking smart means avoiding third -party sites, flying early, and what else?
Things like making sure that you have a refundable ticket.
That's Yolanda Osagade, the Director of Operations at Black Travel Alliance and the Chief Operations Officer at Black Travel Summit.
You know, we're looking for cheap tickets.
However, I really implore people to look at the type of flight.
So if you're gonna get a ticket that is, like, basic economy that does not offer, like, any kind of refunds or rescheduling, just know that you're just kind of, like, rolling the dice.
So if you book early directly with the airline and refundable, you're setting yourself up for success in terms of avoiding cancellations or getting refunds when they do happen, but there's another important step you should take early on in your travel planning to protect yourself.
And it's takeaway number two, get travel coverage.
Many credit cards already include some sort of travel insurance coverage, so when you're booking your flights, make sure you understand upfront what the credit card you're using will cover, from trip cancellation to luggage insurance to any medical needs that might arise en route.
Chris, for one, was really glad you did this.
Because I had paid with a specific credit card for this flight, knowing that this credit card covered trip incidental coverage for things that were around delays and cancellations.
Chris went straight ahead and booked a hotel for himself and submitted his receipts to the credit card company for reimbursement, which he received.
It doesn't even have to be a premium credit card. Some cards that are like $95 a year or less still come with these kind of baseline travel insurance type of benefits.
But you shouldn't only rely on credit card coverage.
You should always have travel insurance.
You hope you'll never need it, but when trouble hits, it can actually make a big difference.
So we always just have it as an extra layer of protection.
But don't just book the automatically offered insurance option through your airline.
Some people think, oh, I'm just going to cover it through the airlines.
The airlines do offer insurance as well, but actually you can get better pricing versus going through like airlines to just ensure your flight.
Some airlines, for example, only cover up to a thousand dollars in trip protection costs with generic airline insurance, which may or may not cover the cost of many international flights.
It can be cheaper to find an independent travel insurance company.
Even if you only travel once or twice a year, you should get a plan that matches your needs.
Just get travel insurance that covers that one specific trip or those two specific trips.
But for those that are frequent travelers traveling without insurance, you're taking a massive risk.
Absolutely. You know, Do your research, get that insurance.
Travel disruptions are so prevalent post pandemic, like all the time.
So you, I think you need to hope for the best, but sometimes expect the worst. It's crucial to do your research first to ensure you get the protection you need.
Choose a travel insurance policy that's top -rated and customizable to what your trip actually entails.
Like don't go paying for extreme sports coverage if you don't need to.
TravelX for one was rated the best travel insurance of 2025 by US News and World Report.
Yolanda also recommends the travel insurance companies Cover For You, which she's used for years and Fae.
But take care, most travel insurance policies and credit card coverage don't include weather related delays or cancellations.
Unless the airline is unable to operate for 24 full hours because of that weather.
While you can find certain add -on weather policies, Yolanda advises against it.
They really do charge a premium for that because weather is, especially with climate change these days, it's a hit or miss, right?
So companies also know that as well.
These days, they can charge a premium for that type of coverage.
Of course, all the insurance and protections in the world won't straight -up prevent flight delays and cancellations from happening, and they will happen.
In 2024, for example, flights were delayed about 20 % of the time, according to the Department of Transportation, and there are over 400 tarmac delays of three hours or more for domestic flights.
And in one month in 2024, airline carriers reported mishandling nearly 300 ,000 pieces of luggage.
So what should you do to put your best foot forward when you do get stuck and need to rebook?
Every time one of my flights was canceled in Los Angeles, I felt myself go into panic mode and I immediately got back on the phone.
I ended up both yelling and crying at the customer service reps, which is not a good look.
Turns out first thing you should do when you're facing a flight cancellation or major delay is to take a breath before you react.
That's takeaway number three.
Sometimes it's best to just take a moment.
I think the first thing you should do is like take a deep breath.
That's Yolanda and Chris.
A third expert I spoke with agrees with them wholeheartedly.
And he should know.
He's Dr. Joel Salinas, a behavioral neurologist and clinical associate professor of neurology at NYU Langone.
He researches how our environments and the people we interact with influence our brain.
Joel says the very first thing you should do when you get the flight cancellation notice and feel yourself going into that panic mode is to pause.
Draw awareness to what's going on in your body and in your surroundings, but especially how you're experiencing the situation.
It'll help you understand what might be influencing your reaction to the situation.
All that stimulation and information overload of being at the airport or on the phone, maybe with screaming children in tow like me, is putting your brain into a fight -or -flight response, says Joel.
And that's not going to help.
Instead he says, try taking a long deep breath.
There's a specific type of breathing that we'll often recommend that has a good amount evidence behind it because it's been proven to help to reduce your blood pressure and to decrease your respiratory rate.
Physiologically, it's really powerful.
It's called cyclic sighing.
It's pretty easy to pull off.
Joel says what you want to do is first taking a deep inhale through your nose.
Then at the top of that inhale, taking a little extra top off inhale and then a long, slow exhale.
And that long slow exhale is really powerful, that really begin to calm your system down.
And that makes it so much easier for you to bring on that super negotiator part of your brain online, to be able to ask the right questions and also to be a little bit more strategic about what you say and how you say it.
Once you've taken a breath and reset, it's time to act.
Don't rely on the line.
Take matters into your own hands.
That's takeaway number four.
Everyone has to wait in a single line.
So it's basically a numbers game.
You have 300 people on the plane, you're all getting off the plane, there's maybe one, two people trying to help everyone.
And that clearly is the least efficient way.
People are going to immediately try to find lines.
They'll try to find a queue to join to rectify the situation, when really, you want to just go straight to the apps on your phone.
So get online while you're in line.
Like, oh if I don't know if I'm the last flight of the day, maybe there's another flight I can get on.
I'll take a look at that.
My strategy is I know all of the options and lay them out in front of the agent in advance.
So like, before I get to the front of the line, if I'm waiting in line or if I'm on the phone, I'll know exactly the flights that I want and kind of do the research ahead of time to make their job easier.
It's a great approach to stay proactive while you're waiting in line for rebooking.
Try to rebook through the app or call the airline's customer service line while you're in the physical customer service line.
Another pro tip from Chris?
If you know another language, even if it's not great, call the number for the airline that's in another language because that actually can save you lots of time.
Another hack is to use your airline lounge access or even purchase a pass right now in in order to get into a different, potentially shorter re -booking line.
Cost for a day pass for lounge access varies, but can be anywhere from $25 to $80, or you can splurge for a $99 priority pass if you're a more frequent flyer.
That can get you help really quickly because the lounge agents are much more inclined to help you and they're usually not as short staffed.
And be creative about your re -booking, too.
If there are no flights from London to New York left, well, what about Boston?
That's Chris's thought process.
My whole thing is, like, just keep moving.
Like, you don't just be stuck.
Being stuck is the worst. So if you can get closer to your destination, like in your case too, say like you can get a flight to Atlanta but not Nashville, just do that.
And then figure it out when you get there.
I think you're better off.
Check with your travel insurance to see how you can just keep moving.
Some travel insurance policies might cover a rental car if your flight's canceled, and top quality plans will reimburse 80 % of your upfront flight costs, so you should easily be able to cover that car.
Otherwise, taking a bus or a train between cities like that New York versus Boston option might be worth it, if you're on a budget.
And know what you're entitled to, because the airline itself may be obligated to cover that rental car and more.
The DOT has a website, essentially like a whole matrix guide of you're on this airline, you're delayed this number of hours, this is what you're entitled to.
So I think that is a great first step as, like, a resource.
If you're curious about that site, it's the Department of Transportation's Delay Dashboard. We'll link it in our show notes.
Most major airlines have committed to giving delayed or canceled passengers cost -free rebooking, meal vouchers, hotel accommodations, hotel transportation, and more.
The fine print, however, is that these offerings are for quote, when the cause of a cancellation or delay was due to circumstances within the airlines control, unquote.
Since my initial flight from Los Angeles to Kauai was canceled because of weather, I was SOL.
Whether or not the airline is obligated to cover your losses, you will likely reach a point where you do need to interact with a human customer service rep in order to rebook.
either on the phone or once you've finally reached the front of that line.
When you do, remember takeaway number 5, connect with customer service reps on a human level.
Traveling as a black person, you're oftentimes navigating the space between being hyper -visible or invisible.
All I can say is be persistent and be patient and have grace.
What you don't want to do, especially after you hear a, sorry, there's nothing I can do, is to get all amped up like I did and damage your chances for a successful negotiation.
To teach you how to channel that energy into the most productive conversation possible, meet Bob Bourdon.
He and Joelle co -wrote the book, Conflict Resilience.
Negotiating disagreement without giving up or giving in.
Our flight is canceled.
There are a lot of angry and upset people and that customer service person is probably also not having a great day.
and of course, we say, well, but you know, we're paying them, and they're supposed to be the friendly skies.
Bob is a lawyer and a negotiation and conflict resolution expert who's been teaching and writing on this topic at Harvard Law School and others for about 25 years.
Bob says, approaching your conversation with the rep from a place of unity, like the idea that you're both on the same team and want to find a way forward together can make a world of difference.
From a negotiation perspective, Just beginning by acknowledging, by treating them like a person.
Hello, today must be a really hard day or I can see there's a lot happening.
Any kind of human acknowledgment there can be a real shift and so often I have seen a shift there because they're seen and that act of seeing the other person is really powerful negotiation.
You can either make that other person the problem or part of the solution.
A great approach to get this teamwork started, Bob says, is to give the other person what he calls an attractive role.
People love to be the helper, they love to be the problem solver, they love to be the appreciated, they don't want to be the target, the problem, the impediment.
So try framing your request as, hey I could really use your help.
I would be ever grateful if you could.
What can you do to get me out of this really tough situation I find myself in, and I'd be grateful is really a better strategy than I need to get here by 6 o 'clock because I have an important meeting.
There's a reason why this works, says Joelle.
Our brain is pretty sensitive to assigning kind of group identity to people that are on our side or not on our side, and so the more that you're able to make the other person feel like you're in the same group, the more likely you are to get the benefits of being a within -group member.
So that helps to build trust. It's more about creating a really compelling opportunity for them to help you out.
And they may not be able to give you the solution that you're looking for, but they might be able to give you the next best thing.
Bob says that in these moments, listening and asking questions is a much better approach. Inviting them into your world and then asking them for advice.
So there's a listening move.
It sounds like there's not much you can do.
If you are in my shoes with the pressures that you have, what would you suggest I do right now?
And if you've already tried all these gentler methods and you're still getting nowhere, or if like me, you end up chasing your flight refunds for weeks on end, it may be time to play hardball.
In that case, Bob says to ask the customer service rep whether you're on a recorded line to invite in accountability, and then say.
I wanna make sure that what you're telling me is that even though this error has occurred and it's been six months and there's still no resolution, that from your perspective, that's really good customer service.
Is that what you're telling me?
I just wanna be clear about that.
Chances are they won't come back with, yes, I think this is really good customer service.
And they may well finally feel pressured into finding a compromise.
Of course, as Yolanda mentioned, you need to be aware of the ways that things like racism and identity politics can impact how customer service reps respond to you, and Bob agrees.
As a gay man, there are times when I'm more careful if I'm traveling with my partner about saying, this is my partner.
That said, finding a common ground with the person you're negotiating with may be easier than you think.
There's been research showing that even just wearing the same color shirt as somebody else makes them more likely to see you as a part of a group.
So it might be, you know, I noticed that they have a pin of like Star Wars, so they're a sci -fi nerd too.
I'll drop a hint. Or if they have a Spanish last name, I might speak Spanish.
Or like, allude to the fact that I speak Spanish.
Finding that connection, making the best of your customer service interactions leads us to our final takeaway, which is about making the best of the whole dang flight cancellation disaster.
If there's one thing my stranded in Los Angeles trip taught me, it was that when life gives you air travel lemons use them to make vacation lemonade.
That's takeaway number six.
So we were stranded, separated from my extended family, and we weren't in Hawaii by a long shot.
But hey, we were stuck in a pretty cool place.
We stayed at the Fairmont Miramar hotel in Santa Monica, which is absolutely gorgeous and walking distance from the beach. Then we extended our stay when the were canceled again, but by then, my kids had their hotel routine down.
Feeding the fish in the koi pond, playing around one of the oldest fig trees in all of California which happens to be on the hotel property.
While I was waiting for those flight refunds, I didn't want to spend any extra money.
So we filled our days with low -cost or totally free activities and we probably spent less than we would have if we had made it to Hawaii.
We wandered the Santa Monica Pier and the Caton Children's Museum.
We met up with old friends.
We ended up having a wonderful time being stranded.
I'm like okay if I'm in Europe I know that I can just take a train to another country and maybe you know enjoy myself for another day or two if I don't have to be back.
Yolanda's recently canceled flight left her stranded in Sevilla, Spain.
While there she ended up getting a hotel room upgrade for her accidentally extended stay.
Sometimes you just to look at the silver lining and it's like getting to wake up have breakfast on this beautiful terrace it was like wow this is this is worth it this is worth the trouble the moral of this story is like air travel can be difficult but hotels are nice right like yes you may have had the worst flight experience but guess what that hotel can save the day you're still somewhere absolutely So, to recap, the most important things you can do to protect yourself from flight delays and cancellations involve actions you can take both before and during the mishap.
Takeaway number 1 is to book smart.
That means avoiding third -party booking sites, getting a refundable ticket, and flying early when possible.
Takeaway number two is to get travel coverage in advance, from travel insurance, coverage through a credit card or both.
Takeaway number three is to take a breath before you react.
Practice that cyclic sighing to reset and avoid panic mode.
Takeaway number four is don't rely on the line.
Take matters into your own hands.
Use the airline app to rebook, call the phone line while you're in line.
Bonus points for a phone line in another language.
Or investigate alternative travel options like driving or public transport.
Takeaway number five is to connect with a customer service rep on a human level.
Find something in common, give them an attractive role, and formulate your questions as if you're on the same team.
And when all else fails, there's takeaway number six.
When life gives you air travel lemons, use them to make vacation lemonade.
Try to find the silver lining, and spend your delay in a way that's enjoyable.
cool. You never know, getting stranded somewhere unexpected may become one of your favorite parts of the trip.
That was reporter Amelia Edelman.
For more life kit, check out our other episodes.
Amelia reported one earlier this year on how to travel on a budget, and we have another on how to plan your dream vacation.
You can find those at npr .org slash life kit.
And if you love life .kit and want even more, subscribe to our newsletter at npr .org slash life .kit newsletter.
This episode of life .kit was produced by Andy Tegel.
Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan and our digital editor is Malika Gharib.
Megan Kane is our supervising editor and Beth Donovan is our executive producer.
Our production team also includes Claire -Marie Schneider, Margaret Serino, and Sylvie Douglas.
Engineering support comes from Hannah Glovna and Trey Watson.
I'm Marielle Segarra.
Thanks for listening.
