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because your wedding comes to life with the connections that matter the most get started at thenot .com slash audio the knot let's plan your wedding together could the five minute coffee check -in save your relationship thanks for asking feeling disconnected from a partner is a common problem in romantic
relationships According to a survey by McCain Foods in 2018, it affects 60 % of all people in a relationship.
Even worse, 15 % of respondents admitted to spending more time interacting with celebrities on social media than with their partner.
This sense of disconnection often stems from a lack of communication within the relationship.
So today we're going to tell you about a technique that may just help in that respect.
the five -minute coffee check -in.
Indeed, Aston Simmons, the Australian relationship coach who created it, credited it with saving her from divorce.
What exactly does the coffee check -in entail?
Simmons first introduced the idea on an episode of her Worthy Woman podcast in December 2023.
That same month, she then wrote an article about it on kidspot .com .au And it's ended up going viral, being covered by the likes of the New York Post, The Independent and Metro It's pretty similar to a typical coffee break at work In that it lasts 5 -10 minutes and involves talking over a cup of coffee
Or tea, if that's what you like better But many people don't know where to start when it comes to reconnecting with their partner So Simmons came up with a helpful template for her coffee hack including five specific questions she and her husband Adam used to fuel their coffee chats.
Those questions are, how are you feeling about yourself and our relationship?
What are you loving about our relationship and what is working?
Is there anything on your mind that isn't working that you haven't shared?
What is important to you this week and how can I support you?
And finally, what actions do we need to take after this check -in?
Let's listen to Simmons talking about why she thinks the method is so effective in her original podcast.
That is it. Literally 90 % of the population feels misunderstood.
And that's because as a society, we have lost the art of listening and validating how somebody feels.
For some really strange reason, we think validating how someone else feels dismisses how we feel.
And that's simply not true.
How often should my partner and I be having coffee check -ins then?
Aston Simmons says that she and her husband have one every single day over morning coffee, even when on holiday, but she recognises that adding to your routine might seem a little overwhelming and suggests that even once a week will make a positive difference and is better than not at all.
Does the coffee check -in really work then?
Well, it's hard to say insofar as there's no concrete data describing its real -world impact on couples' lives, but we can certainly see how it would help with addressing the communication issues that many couples are affected by.
Of course, as a relationship coach, it's in Aston Simmons' interest to promote her method and say that it saved her marriage.
But we have no specific reason to doubt that claim.
So if you feel communication could be better in your relationship, why not give it a try?
