Hey everyone, it's Keisunga.
Just a reminder that you can listen to all of our podcasts ad free on the Headspace app.
Hey there, welcome to Radio Headspace.
This is Keisunga, and I hope you're doing well on this Tuesday.
Today I want to talk about something that's both deeply personal and universal.
Grief. Grief is one of those emotions that we all experience at some point in life, whether it's from losing a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even a major life change.
But what makes grief so challenging is that it doesn't follow a straight line.
It can ebb and flow even years after the initial loss.
Sometimes it shows up out of nowhere, catching you off guard when you least expect it.
This is what happened the other evening when a good buddy of mine called me out of the blue, sounding completely downtrodden.
I initially asked him what was wrong, and he said nothing.
Even though something was obviously bothering him.
After about 10 minutes, he mentions randomly that it was the anniversary of his grandfather's death.
And that's when the floodgates opened.
He just started crying and crying, spewing out all of this grief.
And in between the sobs, he would mention a memory he had of his grandfather, and how wonderful a man his grandfather was.
And I didn't really say much.
I realized that at that moment, he just needed me to be a soundboard for his immense grief.
At the end of it all, he was extremely grateful to me for just being present and allowing him to just let it pour out.
He even chuckled a bit, saying that he was pretty good all day, but the sadness just hit him out of nowhere.
My buddy experienced a very common characteristic of grief.
It can be so random.
You might be going about your day, feeling pretty good.
And then suddenly something, a smell, a song, a memory, can just trigger that grief again.
And in that moment, it feels just as heavy and raw as it did when the loss first happened.
That's the unpredictable nature of grief.
It just doesn't have a timeline.
It doesn't ask permission.
It just comes. When we experience these waves of grief years after the fact, it can be a bit confusing.
We might wonder, why am I still feeling this?
Should I have moved on by now?
But grief isn't something we just get over.
It's something we learn to live with, to navigate.
This is where mindfulness and meditation can be incredibly helpful tools.
Mindfulness teaches us to be present with whatever emotions arise, without judgment.
Instead of fighting against the grief or trying to push it away, mindfulness invites us to sit with it, to acknowledge it, and to let it pass through us rather than letting it overwhelm us.
When grief arises unexpectedly, our natural reaction might be to resist it.
We don't want to feel that sadness or pain again, so we try to distract ourselves or we push those emotions down.
But resistance only makes the emotions stronger.
Mindfulness encourages us to lean in, to breathe, and to simply be with whatever we're feeling.
This doesn't mean wallowing in it, but rather giving ourselves permission to feel it without getting stuck.
Meditation can also be a powerful tool for managing grief.
Through meditation, we can create a space of stillness, where we can observe our thoughts and emotions without being consumed by them.
It's like watching waves on the shore.
Sometimes they're gentle, and sometimes they crash hard, but we don't have to get swept away.
We can sit on the shore, observe, and let them come and go.
A meditation practice that's especially helpful for grief is the loving kindness or meta meditation.
In this practice, you send love and compassion to yourself and then to others.
When grief resurfaces, it's easy to feel alone in that sadness.
But by practicing loving kindness, you remind yourself that it's okay to feel what you're feeling.
You offer yourself the same compassion you would offer a friend who's grieving.
You remind yourself that grief is a part of the human experience.
So, if you're feeling grief today, even if it's been years since the loss, know that it's perfectly okay.
It's part of the journey.
Let yourself feel it without rushing to move past it.
Breathe deeply and remember that it's all part of being human.
And when those waves of grief come, trust that just like all emotions, they will eventually pass.
As my mother would say, this too shall pass.
Okay, well, I'm stopping there for today.
Thanks so much for joining me.
It's always, always a privilege sharing this space with y 'all.
As always, if any questions come up for you, please send them to my DM on Instagram, at kesomniksombe, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
Please remember to always be kind to yourself, and I look forward to seeing you back here.
Take care for now. Peace.
