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Hi friends, it's Rosie here.
Welcome to Radioheadspace and to Thursday.
I had a neighbor once who loved to blast music at the worst times.
Like I'd be sitting down to write and suddenly boom, it was a full -blown concert next door.
At first I was just annoyed, then I was really annoyed.
But at some point I realized my frustration wasn't changing anything.
It was just making me miserable.
So I did what any normal person would do.
I complained about it to my partner until finally there was a confrontation.
I think we all have that one person in our lives, right?
The one who seems to push every button we have. Maybe it's a coworker, a family member or just some random person who rubs you the wrong way.
Today, we're talking about how mindfulness can actually help us feel compassion for those people, even when we don't want to.
Sometimes the people who frustrate us the most are our greatest teachers.
Or at least, that's what they say.
Personally, I'd rather not have a 7 a .m. life lesson in patience, while my neighbor blasts show tunes at full volume.
room, but here we are." Loving kindness meditation is supposed to help, right?
It teaches us to send compassion, not just to ourselves, but to the people who challenge us the most. And I tried.
I really did. Every morning, I'd sit, breathe, repeat, may you be happy, may you be at peace.
And every morning, as soon as I'd finish, I'd walk into the living room to find Tori peacefully sipping his coffee while I passionately vented about how my brain could not function over the soundtrack of Les Miserables, Shaking Our Walls.
After a few weeks of this, Tori, the ever -reasonable one, suggested we just go over and ask politely if they could maybe possibly turn the volume down.
Simple enough, right?
Except here's the thing.
I love music. And while show tunes aren't exactly my genre of choice, the thought of stifling someone living their best life gave me pause.
So what was this really about?
It was about the fact that my office window faced directly into their living room, where this very impressive and let's be honest, kind of obnoxious sound system was doing its best to live its best life.
So, we took Tor's approach. We grabbed a bottle of wine and walked over, ready to have an actual conversation.
What we found out changed everything.
Our neighbor shared that his mother had recently passed.
And that music, the show tunes that had been driving me up the wall, that was her favorite genre.
It was his way of keeping a piece of her close, of holding onto something that reminded him of her love, and part of his morning practice.
Suddenly my frustration didn't seem so important anymore.
Could I have still said, wow, that's amazing, but maybe turn it down a tad?
Sure, but what would that have accomplished?
Would it have made him feel less alone?
Would it have changed anything beyond a temporary volume adjustment?
So instead, I decided to shift my own approach. Rather than trying to control something outside of me, I found a solution for me.
I got myself a pair of brand new, very fancy, noise cancelling headphones and honestly, game changer.
My writing time became more focused than ever.
The show tunes still played, but now they didn't bother me as much. So I want to be clear about one thing.
Compassion isn't about letting people walk all over us.
It's about freeing ourselves from unnecessary suffering.
And sometimes the best way to do that is to offer love where we'd normally offer frustration.
Because we never really know what someone else is going through.
And if you're looking for some extra support or guidance, check out the Accessing Love Even When It's Difficult meditation in the app.
Thanks for listening today.
If you want to share your thoughts with me, you can find me on Instagram at rosyecosta.
We're wrapping up with a big one this week.
How to be kind to yourself when things aren't going the way you had hoped.
I'll see you back here soon.
