Hi everyone, it's Keisunga.
Just a reminder that you can listen to all of our podcasts ad -free on the Headspace app.
Hey, my name is Dora, welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday.
The other day, I was listening to a podcast on my morning walk and the topic was about living and being in the body.
The speaker was mentioning how the society that we live in now is so overstimulating and we tend to spend more time in our minds than in our bodies.
By being fully present within ourselves, rebuilding that mind -body connection is how we can fully arrive in every moment.
Later on in the podcast, still on the topic of being present in the body, the speaker mentioned that children's lives are heavily influenced by the unlived lives of their parents.
And this is also a way that we can be disconnected from our own bodies and experiences by trying to live vicariously through other people.
And of course, this made me think of my relationship with my parents and how much I was influenced by their unlived or unfulfilled lives.
They didn't have the choice to fulfill their dreams, or even the access to such possibilities.
They were merely trying to survive, as are most immigrant parents.
When you first open the Headspace app, there's usually a short video segment called the Wake Up, and these videos are there to help our members start their day on a mindful note.
There can be anything from learning about the lives of polar bears to learning about the history of salsa.
If you haven't watched yet, I highly recommend it.
Anyways, I made one of these Wake Up videos, and it was basically my introduction to the Headspace community.
And of course, I was super excited to share with my friends and family, so I sent the video to my parents.
My mom, she did what most moms do, and that was to send the video to everyone in her contact list.
But my dad's reaction was similar to what any African father would say.
He asked me in the most serious tone, Can you even get a PhD in meditation?
And he was dead serious.
Cue excitement to share good news killed.
But let's think about it for a second.
My dad didn't get the opportunity to receive an education, so his idea of best is someone that has spent a lot of time in school and has the degrees and papers to show for it.
And don't get me wrong, school is a great thing, but it's not everything, and there are a variety of paths and ways to personal fulfillment.
When I was younger, I was torn between three potential careers.
I wanted to be a chef, a nail technician, or Beyonce's backup dancer.
Preferably all three.
But my parents didn't agree with any of these choices.
They felt that going to college and becoming a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, or a nurse were the more practical and valuable options.
And maybe that's because they didn't know any successful nail technicians or chefs, or they didn't view those things as pathways to success and status.
So I was lovingly pushed down a path that I didn't love.
First, I got my bachelor's in psychology and then in psychiatric nursing.
That's eight years straight of studying things I really didn't want to study in order to appease my parents.
Fortunately, though, I had started doing things that I love on the side while working and going to school, so I found a career that suits me.
And along that path, studying mindfulness and meditation helped me realize that there's no version of success but my own.
Now, I didn't tell my parents immediately that I had switched things up, but I made sure that I was doing what I loved first and then I let them know.
And you know what? By seeing me happier, they became happier.
Eventually. So we often think we know what's best for others, but it's important that we have an understanding of where this idea of best is coming from.
I think we must be able to define happiness and success for ourselves and allow others to create their own definitions of success.
For some people, it's becoming a doctor.
For others, it's dancing on stage with Beyonce.
Whatever it is, I hope you take some time to think about what is best for you.
And if that's a bit difficult to think about, get curious on who you've been living for, whose unfulfilled dreams are you trying to achieve, and how does that truly feel in your mind and body?
I'll leave that there for now.
Thank you for listening, and I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow.
