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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning.
This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to find your family visiting groove.
Figure out what works for your family for getting together and then put it on repeat so you can enjoy time together without a whole lot of mental effort.
On my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds, my co-host, Sarah Hart Unger, and I recently discussed managing relationships with extended family.
One approach that we both find helpful is to figure out a visiting cadence.
If you can find a regular rhythm for visiting either near or far-flung relatives, then no one has to think about it.
And you see each other with a lot less drama.
Here's an example.
Sarah's parents, sister, and niece live in the Philadelphia area.
Not that far from me, as it happens.
And she realized that the 4th of July tends to be a great time to visit them.
So she's done that for many years running.
Her extended family now has favorite Independence Day traditions and they look forward to that time together every summer.
They don't have to start from scratch every year in making plans to get together.
They already know that the Fourth of July at Sarah's parents' house is the place to be.
I know of a big family that always gathers on the last night of Hanukkah.
This has the upside of meaning everyone plans to get together regularly and they build traditions and they know they are going to see each other.
And, bonus, it tends not to conflict with other gatherings.
Many people do celebrations at the beginning of Hanukkah, but the last night might be a bit more open.
By claiming the last night and making that a regular cadence, Family members can go celebrate with friends or in-laws for the first night and know that they will still see each other.
Everyone is happy.
Sometimes these visiting cadences arise organically.
You realize that you have spent Thanksgiving with one side of the family every year for several years, and so you decide to just keep doing it, especially if it seems that the other side of your family doesn't care all that much about Thanksgiving.
Or perhaps they're local, so you already see them every week.
But in other cases, you might want to actively figure out and create a visiting groove.
If that is the case, first think big picture with your spouse or partner, if relevant, about family members that you want to see in person.
Write them down or make a spreadsheet.
Then decide what cadence feels right.
This might be as frequently as once a week for some people, or as infrequently as every few years for others.
By deciding in general terms how often you want to see various relatives, you will be intentional about who you see and not just default to whoever is most organized about making plans.
Though, I like those people.
You should see them.
Once you have an idea of who you'd like to see, try to match various people with times when it would be convenient or especially nice to get together.
For instance, if you have a work conference every October in Chicago, that is a natural time to add on a visit to your brother who lives there.
If you grew up going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with your family every year, it could be fun to spend Thanksgiving with your sister who lives in Brooklyn so you can go to the parade.
That leaves Christmas for your husband's family in Arizona.
Sounds like a good place to be in December.
If there's an attraction to your area at a particular time of year, you could invite folks to visit you then.
Who doesn't want to visit the Miami cousins for Martin Luther King Day weekend?
Everyone loves warmth and sunshine in January.
People may be less excited to visit Miami for the 4th of July, when the heat becomes intolerable.
If you get together with family at a time that turns out to work well, put it on repeat.
Within a few years, it will just feel normal and become part of your annual calendar landscape.
Especially if you have a lot of loved ones you'd like to visit who live far away.
Planning get-togethers just isn't easy.
Add in a partner and kids' schedules, scarce PTO days and a limited travel budget, and planning is even harder.
But with some big-picture strategy and the wisdom to put plans on repeat, you can find a visiting groove that works.
What are your family visiting grooves? you can let me know at laura at lauravandercam.com.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Today's tip is powered by National University.
As a listener of Before Breakfast, you know my goal is to help you make the most of your day without sacrificing work or family time.
That's why I'm so happy to introduce an institution that shares the same values.
If you are thinking about going back to school, you're probably wondering how to fit it all in.
National's flexible online formats, four- and eight-week courses and monthly class starts help you begin your degree sooner, finish faster and do it all on your own schedule.
So you have more options for managing work, family, and school.
With over 150 degrees, credentials and certificates to choose from, they have a program that fits your career goals.
Learn more today at nu.edu.
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