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The following podcast is a dear media production.
Hello, welcome to or welcome back to Trinidad to Care.
If you are new here, my name is Ashley and I post an episode every single Monday.
Most of my episodes, one might say are depressing, a little naggy.
Some people have said I complain a lot, but basically I just talk about things that are on my mind, things that I'm going through.
I give you advice, give you some big cis talks.
I literally use this podcast as my diary, but some episodes aren't that deep.
Not every episode needs to be this big think piece.
I sometimes just want to have a little fun or talk about routines and glowing up and just have a feel good episode.
And that's what today's episode is going to be.
It's finally fall. It's finally fall.
I literally have the opposite of seasonal depression until after Christmas.
That's when it hits me, but right now I am thriving.
I love everything that has to do with fall.
I love the food. I love the fashion.
I love the media, the music, the shows.
I just love fall. My routine is just so much more fun in the fall and I love it.
So everyone who is bashing people for decorating early and drinking pumpkin coffee, it ends now.
It ends here because it is in fact fall now.
I don't care if it's still 80 out.
According to the calendar, it's fall.
So it is fall. As much as I love fall, I also just love new seasons because with every new season, I kind of reevaluate my life, think about what I want, what I've been doing, what needs to change.
And I do like a reset.
Like my goal with every new season is to reinvent myself.
People like to do this at the beginning of the year, which I do too.
I love a new year, new me, glow up.
But I also think it's really good to do that with the seasons.
Like as the seasons change, so can you.
You shouldn't have to wait until the beginning of the year to start over or to level up.
If there's something that you don't like about yourself, if you think there's things that you can change, like you could do that at any time.
If there's things that you want to start implementing into your life, you can do that at any time.
The reason that I like to do this with every new season is because sometimes when you wait until the beginning of the year to reinvent yourself, you only have motivation for that first month and then you fall off because you get busy or you get bored or you change your mind about what you want.
And then you just give up and nothing changes.
But when you change with the seasons, there's always an opportunity to change your mind and to do better.
So like, let's say in the summertime you have certain goals and then by the end of summer, those goals change.
You don't have to just give up and not work on yourself and like revert to what you were doing before summer.
When the season changes, you can be like, okay, what can I change about myself now?
What do I want to work on right now?
And you're just constantly improving.
You're constantly working on yourself.
I just love using each new season as a way to inspire myself, to hit my goals and like look at my life the way that I look at it at the beginning of the year where I'm motivated and I want to do better.
But with doing it this way, there's constant growth.
And I'm sure that what I'm working towards is what I want in the moment and not just like what I wanted at the beginning of the year.
I want this episode to be aimed more at fall because I'm so excited about fall and I'll take any excuse to talk about fall.
But I think if you're listening during a different season, you can still take things from this episode and still be inspired and apply it to your life.
So with this episode, I want to talk about stepping into a new season of life and changing with the seasons.
This is going to force you to grow and become that higher version of you.
Like if every season your focus is to change and to level up and to hit certain goals, without a doubt, you're going to grow as a person.
So we're going to talk about who you want to become, being clear and intentional, making actual changes.
And then I'm going to also give you things that I'm doing this fall just to make my life more enjoyable and hit my goals and just share my non -negotiables with like the season because again I want to talk about fall.
So let's get into it.
Before anything, you need to figure out who do I want to become?
Like it's one thing to be like, I want to be hotter.
I want to be more successful.
I want to have fun.
Okay, well, what does that look like?
What is your idea of successful?
What do you think is going to make you more attractive?
What are things that you actually want to do and that you think are fun?
The first thing that I think needs to happen is you need to ask yourself, how do I want to feel this season?
Do I want to feel sexy?
Do I want to feel sophisticated?
Do I want to feel organized?
Do I just want to be more well -balanced?
Do I want to be someone that people enjoy being around?
If you're saying I want to feel hotter this season, what does that mean?
Like what makes you feel hot?
Because hotness is subjective.
You really need to think about like what makes me feel hot?
Like I feel hot when I have freshly washed hair, which I do not right now.
I have a slick back right now and I kind of look like a greasy gremlin naked mole rat, but I feel hot when I have freshly washed hair.
And when I have a set makeup routine and a signature lip combo and I'm taking care of my skin and I'm wearing matching underwear and a bra, which doesn't happen often because I don't really wear bras, but when I do match them, I feel hot.
If you're saying I want to be successful, what does that mean?
What does that look like?
Again, success is subjective.
People can look at me and be like, wow, she's really successful.
But if I'm laying on the couch most days and I'm in my pajamas and I'm not taking care of myself, I don't feel successful.
Like I feel successful when I wake up and I don't go on my phone immediately and I do my routine and then I get my work done and I make a really good dinner and I also make time for my friends and family and I also make time to relax.
Like that makes me feel successful.
That makes me feel like a boss ass bitch.
It's important to figure out how you want to feel so you can align yourself with feeling that way.
Next, I think you should figure out what's important to you.
Like what do I want to achieve in this new season of my life?
What do I want to spend my time doing?
Who do I want to be around this season?
With every season, you should have different goals and different priorities.
During the summer for me, it's important that I socialize.
It's important that I go out and I have fun and I enjoy myself because I live in Connecticut and most of the year it's cold and if it's not cold during the spring, I have allergies.
So I'm inside a lot of the time.
So summer is the time of the year where I'm just like having fun, I'm feeling hot, I'm making socializing a priority.
Whereas in the wintertime, my goal might be to relax or to spend more time on self -development and learning and reading and hobbies and things like that.
Your routine might be very different for the fall than it was for the summer.
Like if you're a student, you might have had the summer off.
So your day looked very different and now you're going into a new season and you have a lot more on your plate and there's a lot of things going on and things are just changing and you need to adapt to that because you can't live the way that you did a couple months ago.
It's not going to work.
So you need to figure out you know what's important during this season.
What needs to change?
How can you rearrange your routine so it works and you can align yourself with it?
This episode is sponsored by Dime Duty.
With each new season, I love to incorporate new products.
I think it's such a fun way to romanticize life, give each season a smell or a look to remember, inspire me or honestly just glow up.
I'm currently trying to perfect my go -to fall look and one thing I'm trying to add into my routine is new skincare products.
You've probably heard me talk about how much I love Dime Beauty.
Dime Beauty is clean, high -end skincare that's affordable and it really works.
You could shop products by category, concern or ingredient.
So like if you're looking for products to help your acne, you can search based off that or if you're looking for body care specific products, you can search directly for that.
I didn't know exactly what I needed when I first found Dime Beauty.
I knew that I wanted products to help with anti -aging and dark spots but I wasn't entirely sure about the product.
So I took the skin quiz and was recommended products based off my results.
I ended up with the TBT cream and the dark spot corrector and I've been loving both and definitely see a difference already in my skin.
I also think their work system is a great place to start.
The work system includes the two serums, a cleanser, the super skin toner, the restorative night cream and the dewy day cream.
This has a little bit of everything so I definitely recommend.
I love the dewy day cream and the hyper glow serum.
Dime has over 2 million happy customers and their product reviews are literally all five stars.
Go to dimebeautyco .com to stock up on your favorites or try something new.
That's dimebeautyco .com dimebeautyco .com This episode is sponsored by Cuddly.
Animal Rescue is so important to me.
I love animals so much and it literally breaks my heart whenever I see animals without a home or in danger.
I have two dogs, Sebby and Izzy.
They're my entire world.
They're my babies and they're both rescues.
Sebby was rescued after being found alone during a storm and I'm not entirely sure Izzy's story but she was also found alone on the street and I just can't even imagine my life without them.
Like I'll literally start crying when I think about them alone or in danger.
If I didn't have them, I definitely would consider fostering animals because I think it's an amazing way to help them and to show them love while they find a forever home.
If you feel the same way and you're unable to foster or volunteer, I think Cuddly is a really great option to help out and be involved.
Cuddly is a fundraising platform that supports animal welfare organizations all over the world.
Over 4 ,000 shelters and rescues trust Cuddly to raise funds and receive donations of supplies for animals in their care.
I love Cuddly because you can trust that your donations actually go to an animal need.
Cuddly thoroughly vets and verifies every rescue organization they work with.
Also if you want to be involved but you don't know what animals to donate to or you feel overwhelmed because you want to help every animal but don't know where to start, Cuddly makes it easy because when you make a one -time donation, Cuddly distributes the contributions to the animals and organizations
with the greatest needs each month.
For every $20 donated through a one -time donation, Cuddly will gift a soft and snuggly blanket to a rescue animal need.
Head to cuddly .com slash TNTCToday to make a donation and help make a difference.
That's cuddly .com slash TNTCToday.
Now let's get back to today's episode.
Ask yourself what is the theme for this season?
What is important to me this season?
Every day I focus on three things that I need to get done.
Like I have three priorities.
So even if I have a lot to do, I have three main things that I have to complete.
So you know I might have things that I have to do throughout the week but these three things happen today and if I don't have time for other things, during that day, they move on to the next day.
But I always just focus on those three things.
The reason I'm saying this is because you should apply that to your season.
There might be a lot of things that you have to do or that you want to do but what are three things that you either want to complete or you want to focus on or you think would positively affect you in this new season of life?
And then lastly, I think that you should think about like, how do I want to glow up this season?
Like a glow up doesn't necessarily have to be physical.
It can be mental. It can be emotional.
It can be your environment.
Personally, I like to have a physical glow up for each season because it makes me feel confident but it doesn't have to be that way.
Like you can want to work on your intelligence.
Like you might want to start reading more or learn a new language or expand your vocabulary.
Like maybe you want to stop saying or using filler words.
I've tried that, doesn't work for me but like maybe that's something that you want to do.
You can work on your emotional well -being.
Maybe you want to go to therapy.
Maybe you want to set better boundaries.
Maybe you want to be less reactive or you could be focused on your environment.
Like your space around you.
Whether that just be you want to be more organized and have a clean space or you don't want to be around partying and alcohol.
You don't want to be around people who make you feel bad.
Like maybe you want to let go of some people because they're no longer serving you.
If you do want to have a physical glow up, you can start thinking about like what are things that I want to change physically?
How do I want to improve my appearance?
Do I want to change my hair?
Do I want to change my makeup?
Do I want to change my clothes?
Would it be beneficial for me to start getting my nails done or getting facials?
Whatever it is. Think about these things but once you kind of know you need to then be clear and intentional with what you want.
I am a huge believer in manifestation and I say believer because there's still people that are like manifestation isn't real.
Even though manifestation is quite literally just goal setting along with having the secure belief that it's going to work out.
Like knowing that if I say I want this thing and if I align myself with it then I can have it.
It's going to happen and I'm not anxious about it.
I'm not worrying about it.
I know I can manifest it into my life.
And the reason I had such a hard time for the majority of my life achieving my goals and living the life that I wanted was because I knew what I kind of wanted.
You know I would say like I want to be a youtuber.
I want to be a content creator.
I want a boyfriend.
I want money but I wasn't specific with what I wanted.
I was very discreet.
It's like telling your boyfriend that you want a purse for Christmas but then you don't tell him what kind of purse you want.
You don't say where you want the purse to be from, the color, the size, anything.
So then your boyfriend gets you a purse from coach and you're like I wanted a purse from Louis Vuitton.
Well you weren't specific with what kind of purse you wanted so you didn't get the purse that you wanted.
It's the same thing with your life and with your goals.
If you're not specific you don't get what you want.
Before dating my boyfriend Josh like past relationships.
I always knew that I wanted to be in a relationship.
I wanted a boyfriend but I wasn't clear with what I expected in a relationship or just like what I wanted out of a boyfriend.
So I settled for guys who I thought were attractive but they didn't give me what I wanted because I didn't know what I wanted.
I just knew that I wanted a boyfriend.
Whereas before I started dating Josh like right before and after I got out of my relationship before him I told myself that I wanted a boyfriend who was going to be funny, who was going to be kind, who was going to be so obsessed with me and that was just going to treat me well.
And because I knew what I wanted and what I was looking for when I met Josh I was like okay does he check these things off?
Because if he didn't I didn't want to get into a relationship because I didn't want to put myself back into a position where I'd be screwed over and just unhappy again.
And thank god Josh did check off all those boxes and you know I've been with him for seven years but the only reason I'm in a happy healthy relationship is because I didn't settle for anything less.
I knew exactly what I wanted and I got it.
So if you want to have a physical glow up this season think like what do I want to look like?
How do I want my hair to look like?
How do I want my makeup to look like?
How do I want to dress?
You need to be clear in what you want.
So that way you can go to your hairdresser and be like this is exactly what I want or when you're shopping you can buy the pieces that you've been seeing on Pinterest and when you're doing your makeup you can find a makeup tutorial and follow that like step by step.
Otherwise if you're not clear you're going to end up just doing what you always do and you're not going to experiment and try new things and you're not going to feel confident in the way that you want to.
So be clear and be specific with what you're expecting this season, what you want your life to look like, what goals you're working towards, what you need to do.
The best way to do this in my opinion is to sit down and just write everything out like just be super clear in what you expect, what you want your life to look like, how you want to feel, just everything that you want your life to be this season and then go to Pinterest and search for those images and then
put them into a board.
I love Pinterest because it's so easy to search for things like everything is in one place.
It's a really good way to pull inspiration and kind of formulate your life.
Like you could literally plan your entire life out on Pinterest.
You can find ways to do your hair, your makeup, how to dress, how you want your house to look like, how you just want your life to look like.
And it just encourages you and reminds you what you're working towards.
Like I literally have a board dedicated to every aspect of my life.
I have a board for my fashion, my makeup, my podcast, my future house, if I ever get engaged.
Like I have a board for everything.
So I'm giving you this advice as someone who does this for literally everything in my life.
Once you make your Pinterest board of all your photos and your quotes are going to inspire you this season, you're going to want to make an actual vision board.
A vision board is basically just like a Pinterest board, but a vision board is a bunch of photos and quotes in one place that you can look at every single day that's going to inspire you and keep you on track to hit your goals.
And I like to make vision boards for my wallpaper on my phone and my computer.
I'll go on to Canva.
Canva, I almost said Canvas.
Canva and just organize it there and then I'll save it and put it on my wallpaper on my phone and my computer because I know I'm going to see that every single day.
I also like to make actual poster boards and put them on it and put it on my wall.
So like right now, right in front of me, I have a small one right above my vanity that I made for the year.
And it's just a good way to remind yourself what you're working towards.
In my opinion, you're more likely to work towards things and be inspired by them if you see them every day and you're reminded like, oh shit, I haven't done that yet.
I need to get on that.
Or oh yeah, that's something that's really important to me.
Maybe I should work on that today.
Then after you figure out how you want your life to look like, how you want to be this season, all of that, after you make your board, go back to your journal or your note app or wherever you were writing before and think about what needs to change.
Like what in your life currently is not fitting with how you want your life to be?
What is not serving you?
What are you doing that does not align with what you're trying to do?
What people are making you feel bad about yourself?
Who are you overextending yourself for?
Where is your attention right now that is clashing with where your attention needs to be?
Right? All of that down.
So you have a clear idea on what needs to change.
Like what can stay and what needs to go?
Like you just need a clear direction on the next couple months because you can't say that you want your life to change and then continue doing the same things.
Like yes, change is hard.
It's uncomfortable.
It's hard to let things go.
But if it's not serving you, then it's not meant for this chapter in your life.
And you need to let it go to make room for what's meant for you and what you do actually want.
I've said this so many times before, but if you want better friends, if you're like, you know, I want friends who actually want to hang out with me and who texts me back and like the same things as I do and actually listen to me when I talk and are there for me.
You can't continue hanging out with people who do the opposite and don't enjoy your company and don't listen to you and aren't there for you.
Like it's going to be nearly impossible to find people who are good for you if all your attention is on people who are bad for you.
You need to let go of those people who are no longer serving you to make room for people who do.
And that applies to everything that you want in life.
If there are things in your life that are not good for you and you want better, you need to make room for better.
This episode is sponsored by eHarmony.
In today's episode, I talk about reinventing yourself and thinking about what matters to you.
Like what do you want in life?
This could be self -improvement related, work related.
Maybe you want to glow up and just feel more confident.
Or you could be looking for a partner.
Hot girl summer might have been fun, but it's now fall and some of you might be looking for a little love.
And if that sounds like you, you need to check out eHarmony.
eHarmony is the dating app to find someone you could be yourself with.
If you're getting back into dating and you're serious about finding a real connection, you don't want to waste your time.
Before I met my boyfriend, I was on other dating apps and let's just say I didn't have the best luck.
The conversations were dry.
They were so boring.
The pickup lines were awful and it just wasn't making dating fun.
I felt like I wasn't getting to speak about what I wanted.
I wasn't having meaningful conversations.
When you're dating, you should be talking about what you want out of life.
What excites you? What you do for fun?
What kind of music you like?
Your favorite shows?
Your thoughts? Your dreams?
Your fears? Deep stuff.
And eHarmony makes that easier for you to do.
eHarmony's compatibility quiz brings out your personality and helps you meet people who will like you for you.
Once you complete the quiz, you'll see personality based similarities you share with potential matches, which makes it so much easier to have genuine and meaningful conversations with others.
Finding a partner who matches your energy is fun to be around and allows you to be yourself is so important and I'm so grateful that I found that in my boyfriend.
You can find a partner who gets you on eHarmony.
If you're looking for a little love this season or if you're searching for someone you can be yourself with this fall, check out eHarmony and take their compatibility quiz today.
Get who gets you on eHarmony.
Now let's get back to the episode.
So what needs to change?
Depending on what you've decided is important to you, how you want to feel, how you want to look, what you want to achieve, you now need to think how would this version of me move?
What would she think?
How would she react to things?
And what am I doing right now that is clashing with it?
Like what needs to stop?
What needs to change?
So I can become this version that I'm visualizing in my head.
If you want to be super confident, you need to work on self -love times a million.
You need to be so rooted in yourself that no one's opinion of you moves you.
Would the confident version of you be upset that you only got 10 likes on Instagram?
Would the confident version of you be upset that someone insulted your looks?
Would the confident version of you be questioning your worth because someone was uninterested in you?
No. So if you're doing these things now, if those are things that you're struggling with, that needs to change.
That's what you need to work on.
If you want to be more spontaneous or you want to further your career, you need to be able to step out of your comfort zone.
Would this version of you pass up opportunities that are given to you?
Would this version of you say no out of fear when they want to say yes?
Would this version of you stick to your typical routine?
Or would they try something new?
Change is uncomfortable.
Change is scary because you've never been there before and you don't know the outcome, but everything in your life was new at one point.
The only way for things to change is to step out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable because once you do it one time, you're like, Oh, this isn't that bad.
And you're stepping into a new reality where you've never been before.
But once you're there, you're like, Okay, I can do this.
On to the next thing.
I'm actually going on my first brand trip on Monday.
It's only one night, but this is the first brand trip that I've ever been invited to.
And typically, when I get invited to events and things, I get a plus one and I'll bring a friend with me and it makes me feel more comfortable.
And this time, I did not get a plus one.
So I'm riding so low and my first instinct was to say no and to say that I was busy, even though I really wanted to go.
But I wanted to say no because I was like, Fuck, like I can't do that.
Like I can't go on a brand trip by myself.
Like what if I don't know anyone?
What if it's like really famous influencers and no one talks to me and like I get homesick and I just like hate my life.
And then I thought about it and I was like, Wait a minute, I have been manifesting a brand trip for literally the past three years.
It's on my vision board for this year.
I've been wanting to go and I want to continue being invited and eventually I'm going to have to say yes.
But there's never going to be an opportunity where I feel comfortable.
Maybe if I get invited with a plus one, but like who's to say that's even going to happen?
If I keep getting invited, what am I going to do?
Keep saying no? Like eventually, if I want to go, eventually I have to say yes.
So there's never going to be a right time where I'm like, Oh, I feel comfortable.
I'm good. I should just go alone.
It's always going to feel uncomfortable because it's new and I've never done this before.
So I said yes and I know that I'm going to be nervous and it's going to be a little uncomfortable and I might not have anyone to talk to, but I also know that once I get there, there will be growth and it's going to open more doors for me and more opportunities.
So next time that I get asked, I won't immediately want to say no.
I'll want to say yes because growth is addicting.
Once you show yourself that you could do something once, you're going to want to do it again.
And one of my priorities this fall is to say yes to myself more.
If you listened to my last episode, I said I'm in my saying no era, but when I say that I'm saying no, I mean, I'm saying no to things that no longer serve me.
So I can say yes to things that do and say yes to opportunities that I'm really excited about.
Even if, you know, I'm a little bit scared.
I'm saying no to that fear and that anxiety and I'm saying yes to these opportunities because they're good for me.
That's why it's important to figure out your priorities because if I didn't sit down and think like this season, I really want to prioritize me and I want to say yes to things that are good for me, even if they scare me.
If I didn't do that, when I was asked on the trip, I might have said no because of that fear and that anxiety.
But knowing that this is a priority of mine, it forced me to do it because I know that if I don't and I go the next couple months not taking these chances and I don't say yes to these things that are good for me, I know that I'm going to be disappointed in myself.
I know I'm going to look back and be like what the fuck was my problem?
Why didn't I lock in and do what I said what I was going to do?
So think about what your priorities are this fall.
Like I said, think of three main priorities for this season.
What are three things that you need to focus on that are important to you and things that you need to stop doing to make this work?
These can be work related, personal like relationships or your mental health it can involve exercising, cooking, your confidence, spending more time alone, doing more activities, finding hobbies, whatever it is, narrow it down to at least three so you can focus on those and make moves in the right direction.
If a priority of yours this fall is to be healthier, think about what needs to change in your life.
What have you been doing that doesn't align with this healthy version of you?
Have you been skipping the gym?
Have you been eating out a lot?
Have you been drinking alcohol a lot?
And then make that change to make it align with what you actually want.
Find a workout class, do workouts at home, get a gym membership.
If you want to stop drinking so much, find alternatives and swap it out for drinking water or making mocktails or drinking like poppies or ollie pops.
If you want to stop eating fast food, find meals that you're excited to make at home.
Like for the past month, I've been eating like shit because I've been so busy.
I really haven't been cooking but this past week, I've been getting back into my cooking mama grind because it's fall.
Like I made lasagna soup, I made this fall harvest pasta, I made pumpkin chocolate chip bread and I'm just enjoying cooking a lot more now and I know that it's better for me and it aligns more with my goals.
There's things like food that just makes sense that need to change with the seasons.
Like I am going to be much happier eating heavier foods like pasta and chili and beef stew in the fall than I would during the summer.
Like the reason I'm excited to get back into cooking is because these are recipes that I was like, I can't really make this during the summer because it's hot as hell.
Like during the summer, I want lighter foods.
I want fruitier foods.
It's just a natural thing that changes with the season.
Just like how you change what you wear with the season.
You're not going to wear a bikini in 50 to 60 degree weather and you're not going to wear a chunky sweater during the summer when it's 90 out.
Like there's things that just need to change to make you feel more comfortable and happier and more productive and just make your life easier.
And I think changing your routine per season is crucial because it helps you align more with your goals and keeps you on track.
Like I said before, if you have different goals per season naturally, you're going to change what you do.
You need to change your routine.
So if my goal is to grow as a person and to spend more time alone and to just like prioritize self -care, my routine might look like I wake up and I save my positive self -affirmations and I meditate and I take my vitamins and I go for a walk while I listen to a podcast and I take an everything shower
and then I read a self -improvement book and then I get to working.
It's going to be a much different routine than my routine during the springtime or the summertime.
Like I might have enjoyed my routines during those seasons but they just don't make sense for my life right now and what my goals are.
The reason I love switching up my routine per season is because yeah, it takes time for a routine to stick.
I think what like 21, 20 days.
I don't know. But even after the routine sticks, it can still get a little redundant and often for me when I'm bored, that's when I fall out of routine.
So I like switching up my routine with the seasons because what I do during the fall is so different than the summer and that's exciting for me.
It's new for me. Like I want to do it because it's different and it's much easier for me to stick to a routine if I'm really enjoying it.
So if that means me waking up in bed with my fall comforter and drinking pumpkin spice iced coffee in my Halloween glass and being able to wear a cozy sweater and look at leaves while I'm on a walk and listen to a fall podcast or put on a fall playlist or put on Halloween movies.
If that's what's going to get me excited to live my life and be productive and that works for me, I'm going to do it.
I also just think making time in your schedule for things that make you feel happy or make you feel good or make you feel productive, you should do.
You should schedule those in.
Like make time in your routine for all the fall things that you want to do.
Make time to have your fall coffee and do your fall activities and watch your favorite scary movies and make time to have a self -care night.
But most importantly, make sure that your routine reflects the things that you're working on.
Like if your goal is to be promoted at work, like clock in and get on your Zoom and make sure that you schedule enough time in your day to do what you need to do.
People underestimate how important a routine is.
Like what is that quote?
Your dream life is hidden in your daily routine.
Like that's kind of true because what you do every single day reflects what your life looks like and feels like.
If you want to be hot, you can't spend your day being a slob and not working on yourself.
If you want to be successful, you can't be fucking around and not spending time working on or doing the things that you feel like will make you successful.
Now I want to talk about having a physical glow up and I'm actually really excited to talk about this because this is something that I'm trying to implement into my life right now.
So if you want to have a physical glow up, if you want to have a signature fall look this season, you need to be real specific about what you want.
Like what you want your hair to look like, your makeup, your outfits, your nails.
Do you want a bob? Do you want to tie your hair?
Do you want extensions?
Do you want to change your wardrobe completely?
Do you want to have glowy makeup or grungy makeup?
What do you want to do?
What is going to make you feel extra hot, extra confident, extra powerful?
There are so many different ways to go about changing your look for this season.
Like you can change your look and glow up based off the season alone.
Like fall's a great time to try a new hair color.
I love going dark for the fall.
I love when people do auburn.
I love a redhead moment.
My friend just got the prettiest caramel highlights in her hair, like gorgeous.
Or if you don't want to drastically change your hair, you can focus on like your skincare routine, your makeup routine.
I think for skincare during the fall, it's really good to add nourishing products, products that are going to really moisturize your skin because it's colder and drier out.
Or for makeup, I think experimenting with darker colors is really fun.
I love pulling inspiration from like 2012, 2014, Tumblr, like grungy makeup.
I just think it's so perfect during the fall, especially with Halloween.
I think it's also really cool to pull inspiration from your favorite books and movies and shows, especially if they are like Halloween or fall themed.
I think it's even better to pull inspiration from the actors in those shows or movies.
Like when I think about fall and Halloween and films relating around that, I think of Jenna Ortega.
She's literally in all of them, and she has incredible style, but it's also still dark and grungy and like she has an aesthetic.
And I just think it's cool that you can follow that and pull inspiration from that, whether it's her clothing style or her hair or her makeup.
If you want to take it a step further, I think one of the best ways to go up physically and to feel hotter is to find your celebrity lookalike and pull inspiration from them.
Like obviously not everyone has a lookalike, but even just finding celebrities who have your same color tone, like the same hair color, the same eyes, the same skin color.
Because if you guys kind of resemble each other, you're going to know what looks good on you.
If it looks good on them, it's going to look good on you.
If you want to take it a step further, something that I've been trying to implement into my routine and to glow up is basing my look off of my astrological signs.
So I saw a TikTok where they said, if you want to look your hottest, you should be dressing based off your Venus sign and you should be doing your makeup off your rising sign.
I'm not super knowledgeable in like how this works or anything, but if you're interested in doing it, I think you should definitely look more into it.
Like I've been trying to get more into it.
I've been doing it here and there.
And when I do my makeup based off my rising sign and I dress based off my Venus sign, I do get a lot of compliments.
My Venus sign is Aries and Aries Venus are bold.
They look good in black.
They look good in red.
They look good in like sporty chic.
Think like Rihanna.
And then my rising sign is Cancer and Cancer makeup is like glowy, a little angelic like think clean girl aesthetic, but just a little elevated.
So what I've been doing is looking at celebrities who have my rising sign and my Venus sign.
So like I said Rihanna, I'll pull inspiration from her outfits and then Angelina Jolie has my rising sign.
So when I'm doing my makeup, sometimes I'll look at her looks that she's done and I'm like, okay, let me try to figure this out and do my makeup like her.
In no way am I saying that I look like Angelina Jolie, but we do have similar features like full lips, under eye circles, our bone structure kind of.
So when I go out, I've been trying to replicate some of her looks and I've gotten compliments.
So I think it could be working.
I do think that it's given me a little bit of a glow up.
Now if you want to change your environment, you want to have a glow up with your space, with the people around you, here are some things I think can help you.
I think your space plays a huge part in you feeling productive, you feeling inspired, you just feeling good.
Like when I'm going through it, when I'm having a depressive episode, it reflects my space.
Like my room is a mess.
There's dishes in the sink, there's shit everywhere.
And it's really difficult for me to feel good when it looks like that.
Or even if like I'm not sad and I'm just, I just have a lot going on.
If I'm traveling a lot, I have a lot of work to do and I don't have time to take care of my space.
It influences my mood.
Like last weekend, I was super busy.
We had a wedding and when I came home, I just wasn't feeling good.
I had no motivation to work.
The creative juices were not flowing and I just kind of was down in the dumps.
But for me, I know an easy way out of anxiety is to move my body and do something that involves me like just not sitting and pondering my thoughts.
The best way to get rid of anxiety for me is action.
So I decided to just clean my entire house, put on some fall music.
I lit a fall candle and by the end of the night, I felt better.
And then yesterday, or no not yesterday, a couple days ago, my friend and I went Halloween shopping because she's having a Halloween party next month and I got some fall decor.
And just like little things like that I know make me feel better.
I'm much more likely to be productive and get things done when I feel good in my space.
Like I'm more likely to clean up my kitchen when I have cute Halloween dish towels and a cute skeleton soup holder.
Like I'm more likely to make my coffee at home if I have cute Halloween glasses.
Like I'm not going to go out and buy a bunch of coffee when I can make a cute aesthetic coffee at home.
I'm more likely to sit at my desk and actually work if I have a fall candle lit and I'm playing fall music.
Another thing that I think is helpful is switching up your actual environment.
Like literally your environment.
If you're having trouble getting work done or feeling inspired, leave your house, leave your room, like go somewhere that is aesthetic or quiet or just uplifting.
I think going to a coffee shop is really great during the fall, especially during the fall.
Like the vibes are there, it's decorated cute, they have fall drinks, fall pastries, it's just a way to romanticize your life.
Go to your library, go to Whole Foods.
Like just go somewhere other than your typical environment.
Like if you don't think that's good for you, if it's not helping you, leave, get out of there.
I'm a firm believer if things are not working out for you, switch them up.
If things don't feel good, switch them up.
If people don't feel good, switch them up.
Things do not have to stay the same just because you're used to it doesn't mean you have to settle for it.
Like I said, change is scary but it's necessary for things to get better.
If things around you are no longer serving you, change them.
The last thing that I want to talk about because like I said, I will find any excuse to talk about fall related things are things that I'm adding into my fall routine to glow up this season as well as my fall non -negotiables.
So I guess I'll start with just telling you what my goals are so it makes more sense for you.
My first goal or like priority as I said before is just putting myself first, making decisions for all versions of me past me, present me, future me, doing things I know younger me would want me to do or even just like enjoy doing at the time while also taking care of current me and making sure I feel
good, I feel safe, I feel happy and then also making decisions that are good for future me.
Like saying yes to opportunities even when I do feel scared or anxious or insecure.
Next, I want to physically glow up like I said also.
I am a confident person but I think after I cut my hair I kind of had an identity crisis.
I felt so hot as a blonde like it might be true that blondes have more fun and going from that back to my natural hair and also a bob literally almost sent me into psychosis.
I just don't feel hot in the way that I did.
Like when I had blonde hair I just felt a different kind of sexy and I just want to feel sexy again and sexy in like a powerful way.
Not intimately, not for the male gaze, like I want to wake up feeling hot.
I want to romanticize my life.
Like I want to feel hot in a Carrie Bradshaw sitcom kind of way if that makes any sense.
I want to feel hot sitting on my PJs with messy hair in my coffee.
I want to feel hot driving around with my windows down.
Like do you do you get what I mean?
I feel like the girls will get what I mean, right?
You get what I mean?
I don't know. And then my last main focus is just being present.
I think I realized the reason growing up seemed so much more magical and detailed than it is now is partially because I was present and I wasn't on my phone.
Like obviously there's other things that factor in but I just want to be more present.
Like for myself and for others I want to spend my time really appreciating things, romanticizing things and also being the best version of me for me but also the people in my life.
So those are the things that I'm working on.
Now these are things that I'm doing this fall to make sure I hit these goals and actually become the person that I want to be as well as just some fall fun fall things that make my life better.
For starters, I am going crazy with fall decor and like kitchenware.
Every glass I use is fall themed.
I actually got a DM today of someone being like, can you give us a haul of all your fall cups because you have so many because I've literally gone crazy and it literally just became fall.
So I don't know. I'm hoarding all the fall cups.
If you can't find any fall cups, it's because I have them.
But I just got the cutest ghost wine glass from HomeGoods and I've been putting my poppies in it, apple cider, iced coffee.
It just makes drinking them so much more enjoyable.
I have fall candles lit at all times of the day.
I don't know why for so long.
I thought that I could only light candles when I had people over.
Like I would save my candles for guests and then I realized I don't have guests over.
Like I don't have people over ever.
So I just have all these fall candles and I'm not doing anything with them.
So I'm lighting them for myself because I just feel hot when I have a candle lit.
When the lights are dimmed, I have some fall music playing and a candle lit.
Like I feel like I'm straight out of a fall rom -com and I love it for me.
And that's like something that I really wanted to do this fall.
It's just like romanticize my life, do little things that make me romanticize it and feel like I'm in a show or a book and I'm like the main character.
So fall music's playing at all times of the day.
It's not right now because I'm recording.
But normally if you walk into my house, there is fall jazz cafe music playing.
One for me, but two, the dogs are just calm when I play it.
So that's playing all day, every day.
If I'm driving in my car or doing my makeup or on a walk, I'm probably listening to my fall playlist.
If you're into like Thought Daughter Autumn, that playlist is for you.
Go to my Spotify, it's called Fall 2024.
So I have my fall playlist.
I have my fall music playing all day.
I have been making really fancy fall drinks.
Like I'll have my apple cider with like a sugar rim on it.
I've been doing pumpkin iced coffee with pumpkin cold foam and then obviously in my fancy glasses.
I've been making fall meals as I said before.
Oh, one thing that I want to do every single day, if it's not raining, I want to go for walks.
I live in Connecticut and if you're from New England, if you've been here, you know how just like beautiful the weather is and the leaves are during this time.
And I just want to savor that before it gets so fucking cold out and I can't leave my house.
And the idea of just like throwing on a chunky sweater with my uggs with some big glasses and a coffee in my hand while I listen to my fall playlist sounds amazing to me.
Another thing that I want to stick to in my daily routine is getting dressed every day.
Like getting out of my pajamas and just putting on something cute.
In my head, the ideal outfit would just be a sweater with either sweatpants or jeans and cozy socks and my makeup done and my hair done.
Also, I want to have a set makeup routine for the fall.
Obviously, it differs for when I go out.
Like when I go out, that's when I want to try to replicate my rising sign makeup.
But just for everyday fall makeup, I feel like I kind of cracked down on what I want to do and I actually did it today.
So my makeup routine right now is a tinted moisturizer, concealer, eyebrow gel, light bronzer and like bronzer on the tip of my nose so it looks like a button nose, orangey eyeshadow in the crease, reddish blush, darker red lips and then some fake freckles on my nose.
I think freckles are so freaking cute.
And then I'm also trying to figure out a fall scent because I think that's so hot when someone has a signature scent.
Like when you're around them, you just know what they smell like.
And also I think it's a good way to romanticize your life.
Like when I think about this period of my life like next year and I smell whatever scent that I decide on, I'll be like, oh damn like that reminds me of this, you know.
So I know for a fact that I'm going to be sticking to the Jizzoo, G -I -S -O -U, I don't know if I'm pronouncing it wrong, the Honey Infused Hair Profume and you just spray it in your hair and then I'm not set on this but I have two scents that I'm deciding between.
So I'm thinking this YSL perfume, it's the pink one with the black ribbon on it.
And then the other one that I am considering is this Fenty Beauty one.
It says that it's a spicy floral scent.
Magnolia Musk Tangerine Bulgarian Rose.
But if you guys have one in mind where you're like, no Ashley you need to actually try this, please let me know but I'll keep you guys updated if I decide on one.
And then I just have a few activities that I am going to be doing this fall to stay present.
So some activities I'm going to be doing to stay present is one.
Fall decor shopping.
I had so much fun with my friend the other day.
We had a blast. We went to Marshalls, we went to Home Goods, we stopped in Target, the paper store.
And when we were at the paper store, my friend found this book that shows you like hauntings in Connecticut, different places where there's little ghosties.
So my friend bought the book and we decided that we're going to go to each place that the book talks about.
And while we're at the place we're going to read the ghost story there.
So that's going to be another activity that we're doing.
I am such a ghost girl.
I believe in ghosts wholeheartedly.
I feel like my entire life I've been haunted.
Maybe I'll do a podcast talking about that.
If like that's something you're interested in.
I know it's not something that I typically do.
Like talk about ghost stories.
But like I'm telling you, if there's one bitch that's haunted, it's me.
So maybe it's not a good idea that I go on a ghost tour with my friend, but I want to.
So we're going to do that.
Then coffee dates obviously but not just like to Duncan.
I know, we all know that I love Duncan but I want to go and find local coffees and specifically fall coffees.
Apple picking, pumpkin picking, baking, movie nights, obviously fall themed movies, Halloween movies, shows.
I think this is the year that I'm going to try gossip girl.
I know shocking. I have not watched gossip girl, but I want to try to have my friends watch it with me, but I think they've already watched it.
So I don't know how that's going to go.
But I just want to appreciate this season and appreciate being able to be cozy and watch these things.
So that and then lastly on my list because I'm brain dead and I can't think of other things, but I will.
I will think of more things this for the season.
My friend and I are planning a Halloween party because every single year I want to go to a Halloween party and there's no Halloween party.
It's because no one invites me to Halloween parties.
That's the one thing about not having a lot of friends is like you're fine year round until a holiday comes up and you're like, I have no plans.
I have no plans and no one's staying out with me and everyone has friends and I don't.
But this year, my friends and I are planning Halloween party.
So that's happening.
I'm going to start planning my boyfriend in my costume, even though I don't think he's going to match with me.
So it might just be a solo costume for me because he wants to be Jeff Gordon, the race car driver.
Doesn't even care about NASCAR for whatever reason wants to be Jeff Gordon and I'm going to tell you right now, I'm not being a race car.
But those are things that I am going to be doing and I just want to romanticize my life more.
I want to be present more and I want to spend more time taking care of me, more self care, more solo dates, and just slowing down and enjoying the season of my life.
Before we end today's episode, I am going to give you a little assignment.
I want you to sit down and really think about what's important to you.
I'm actually going to give you some journal prompts.
Okay, hold on. So who do I want to be this season?
How do I want to feel?
What are my three top priorities?
What do I need to let go of this fall season?
How can I step out of my comfort zone?
And what does my fall routine look like?
Once you feel good about your answers, I want you to go and have fun and find inspiration.
Like you should have fun doing this.
It should be fun to reinvent your life.
So go on Pinterest.
Go crazy. Buy products that are going to make you feel good or that are fall related.
Make a playlist. Find some new shows.
Make a bucket list for the season.
Like just go and find things that are going to improve your life and just have fun with it.
I hope that this episode reminds you that you don't need a new year to start over or to reinvent yourself.
It's always a good time to change and to grow.
And it's even better when there's a new season because a new season means a new you.
That's it for today's episode.
If you loved it, make sure to give China to Care a five -star review.
If you love me, make sure to follow me on my socials, my Instagram, my TikTok, my YouTube.
All of that is in the show notes.
I'm excited to talk to you next Monday.
Okay? So I love you and I'll talk to you next time.
Okay. Goodbye besties.
Love you.
