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BBC Sounds.
500 words.
The Bedtime Stories podcast.
Tom, hey, Tom, Tom, hello?
Can you hear me?
Oh, hello mate.
Sorry, I was away with the fairies.
Hmm, sounds magical.
Oh, it was, mate.
It really was.
There were ancient beasts bursting out of football pitches, runaway princesses talking pigs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, Dom, look, I think it's time for a sit down and a nice cup of tea.
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine, really, really.
I've just been reading today's stories.
Oh, right, yes, of course.
All across the land, young imaginations just like yours have been busy gathering the stories for our 500 Words Bedtime Stories podcast.
Get ready to be spellbound exhilarated, inspired and amused while we bring you some of your incredible stories read by the BBC Radio Drama Company.
I'm Dick, and he's Dom.
Hello.
And mate, seeing as you have already peeked at today's stories, are you going to fill me in on today's theme?
I hope you've packed a bag, Dick, because today we're off to the land of fairy tales and fantasy.
Oh, yes, one of my favourite lands.
Before we go, I'll take you up on the offer of a cuppa, actually.
Two sugars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice and milky.
The match wasn't going well.
Leven's losing streak was continuing.
Tably United had scored a hat-trick, shot after shot, left, right, down the middle.
Leven had a single goal, a lucky strike that bounced in off the post.
Thomas passed to Jimmy.
Jimmy sprinted down the pitch, dodging the Tabbly players until he was in front of their goalkeeper.
Jimmy paused, choosing the spot, and the ball flew like an arrow into the bottom corner.
The crowd erupted, parents and teachers shouting and cheering.
Even the Tabli parents clapped quietly.
It was the noisiest that a Leven crowd had ever been.
That's what woke the beast.
He'd been asleep under the grass for 100000 years, snoring loudly, though everyone had thought the noise was traffic.
He unfolded his long furry legs, blinked his eight owl-like eyes and came roaring up through the halfway line, the ground, cracking over his horrid head.
The crowd screamed and fled, abandoning coats and bags.
The beast stretched out his humongous legs and clasped with his claws at everybody he could reach, shoveling them into his cave-like mouth, sharp teeth crunching and screaming, grunching saliva dribbling down his chin and splatting onto the wet, muddy ground.
The players for Levenham and Tabbly stood still shocked at the horrible thing that had been beneath their boots.
None of them knew that a thousand years ago, parents had told children playing near the grass to leave alone, not to wake up.
The evil thing waiting under the mud.
The children had told their own children and grandchildren to leave alone.
Eventually the boys and girls just called it leaving and everyone had forgotten about the beast.
It remembered the people.
It remembered how they tasted.
Oliver moved first, whacking the ball into one of the beast's angry eyes.
The eyes shut and the spidery thing turned to catch him.
Tom from the Tabbly team took the rebound, smacking the ball into one of its legs.
Imogen backheeled the ball into the beast's face again and it snarled, revealing its dripping fangs.
Tably again, and Archer chipped the ball.
It bounced over the beast's back and tapped its tail.
The beast turned, confused.
Jessica toe-tapped the ball hard, another leg gone.
Ben, the Tably goalkeeper, took a throw.
Another eye.
The beast slowly stepped backwards.
It was the referee, Mr Beednell, who finished it off, throwing his red and yellow cards straight at the beast's bottom, shouting Get off my pitch, you beastly beast.
There's a match going on!
Now it was the beast's turn to flee.
It wobbled back to the hole in the pitch and hurried inside, pulling the grass back in after it until there was no sign that it had ever been there.
Leven went on to lose the match on penalties, but they didn't mind.
Afterwards, the school turned the grass into a cricket pitch, just to make sure the beast was never disturbed again.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
Bedtime Stories.
A queen pricked her finger while sewing and some blood dropped onto the cloth.
She said to herself If my baby is a girl, I want her skin to be as white as snow, with blood-red cheeks and hair as black as the window frame.
I will call her Snow Blood Window Frame, or Snowy for short.
Sadly, the mother died straight after childbirth, as she said it hurt too much.
The king got married again because in all of these tales, you need a second wife who is evil.
The killing stepchildren before watching cat videos kind of evil.
The new queen had a magic Instagram account who spoke magic words of logic.
Like Snowy, has had more likes than you and your haters are hating.
The Queen felt rage that she wasn't as trending as usual, and she decided that she would kill her stepdaughter.
Then go and watch cat videos.
The Queen got her only follower well, the only one she'd not paid to follow her to take Snowy into the woods and kill her.
Which is why you should never meet with strangers off the internet.
Snowy didn't know this, though, and went.
Fortunately, when in the woods the queen's follower decided that he'd rather play Mario Kart than actually kill someone, so he let her escape.
Phew.
Snowy realised she couldn't go home, so she found a place on Spareroomcom where there was a bed in return for housework for seven miners.
She hated tidying up, but liked being dead even less, so she made her choice.
When the Queen found out Snowy was still alive, she was furious.
So decided to set up a fake charity challenge where you had to send and receive apples to raise awareness of keeping doctors away.
Snowy signed up immediately and when the first apple arrived she thought yes, I am doing well for the cause.
But when she bit into it, she fell over.
Dead.
Clue, the apple was poisoned.
What did you expect?
When the miners got home, they saw her dead body and thought, that's inconvenient.
They'd liked having someone tidy up after them and dead bodies are not good at cooking.
They posted a picture of her in a glass coffin on a memorial page.
One day a prince was browsing by and when he saw her picture he immediately fell in love.
We should not think too much about him falling in love with a dead girl, as that will ruin the ending.
I must go and see her, he said.
When he got there, he liked her so much that he kissed her on the lips.
Snowy woke up straight away.
The shock of being kissed by a stranger jolted her from her poisoned sleep.
She said, that's creepy.
I mean, really, really creepy.
But I love you, said the prince.
You thought I was dead, screamed Snowy.
She ran away from him, which was very sensible.
Very sensible she was indeedy doodle dandy.
Ear.
Social media can be very dangerous, can't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, you just don't know who is out there.
Oh, hang on a moment.
What are you up to?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
I was just saying that social media is very dangerous.
Are you updating your profile picture?
Did you listen to that story at all?
Of course I did.
How many likes do you think I'll get?
Richard?
Yes, you're right.
OK, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
It doesn't matter how many likes I'll get.
No, what matters is you doing your job properly.
Are you ready for the next story?
I know I am.
Yes, just logging off.
Oh, yes, yes.
Very excited about this one, actually.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
Bedtime Stories with Dick and Dom.
The Three Little Pigs and the What Wolf.
After the big bad wolf had blown down the house of sticks and the house of straws, the three little pigs lived happily in their house of bricks.
But sometimes they still got visits from wolves who wanted to break in.
One day, a what-wolf came to their door and knocked.
Who is there? said one of the pigs.
I'm just a friendly visitor, said the what-wolf.
I just want to ask you three questions.
If you get any wrong, you must let me in.
The wolf laughed quietly behind his disguise.
If you get the questions right, you can have a trip to the mud pool for free.
The pigs were very excited because they loved the mud pool, but they felt very, very suspicious.
OK, said the pigs together.
The wolf sniggered and rubbed his hands.
The first question is easy, he said.
What's your name?
The youngest piggy answered, but she was very clever.
My name is Alexa, said the youngest piggy.
See, that was easy, said the what-wolf.
Well, Alexa, what is the capital of Jamaica?
Giggled the what-wolf.
The capital of Jamaica is Kingston, said Alexa.
Now the pigs giggled in excitement.
The what-wolf was fuming under his hat.
If they get the last question right, the what-wolf would scream.
Okay, here is the last question.
If you get it wrong, then you have to let me in.
Alexa, what is 9,753,105 times 95,842?
Silly pigs won't know this, thought the What Wolf.
Then Alexa said, 9,753,105 times 95,842 is 934,757,089,410.
The wolf screamed so loud his disguise completely came off.
Then the pigs looked out the window and saw him running down the road, waving his arms.
I'm glad you got me that new Alexa for my Christmas, said the youngest piggy, and they all laughed.
Who wants to go to the mud pool with me, she asked.
Let's go, shouted the other two pigs.
And after that, they all went to the mud pool and lived happily ever after.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
Bedtime stories.
Working at the most prestigious law office in the United Kingdom may seem grand, but it wasn't.
Cindy hated her job.
She was an evening cleaner, mostly working alone.
The only thing worse was going home to the flat she shared with the two receptionists who thought they were much better than her.
They wore smart clothes to work, which Cindy couldn't afford.
Cindy was getting ready for work one evening when she heard her snooty flatmates talking in hushed tones about an office party happening the following night.
Everyone would be there, including the incredibly handsome senior partner, Mr Prince.
It would be the party of the year and all staff were invited.
Cindy rushed into the lounge.
What's this party at work?
It's not for cleaning staff, said one.
Besides, no one even follows you on Instagram, said the other.
Cindy was gutted, but knew they were right.
Who would want to hang out with the lowly cleaner?
That evening Cindy sadly headed off to work where she met the familiar-faced security guard Freddie outside the nearby department store.
All closed up for the evening.
What's wrong, babe? he said.
I can't go to the office party tomorrow because I don't have the right look or the right job, she said.
The flamboyant security guard replied.
Don't sweat it.
I've got the perfect thing for you.
Meet me here this time tomorrow and I'll sort it.
You shall go to the ball.
The next night, Cindy met Freddie at the department store and they crept inside.
She tried on a beautiful blue gown in the most exquisite fabric she'd ever seen.
It was perfect and expensive.
Matched with the most stunning designer shoes.
She looked a million dollars.
Oh.
My.
Days!
Freddy squealed.
You look dazzling!
Take that dress and help yourself to make-up and perfume.
Meet me outside in ten, keep the tags on the clothes and crawl when you go out through the door.
And with that, he was gone.
Cindy did as she was told and headed off to the party.
On arrival, she immediately noticed Mr Prince, the senior partner.
She flirted with him, and surprisingly, it worked.
Mr Prince was besotted, and they spent the whole night chatting and busting moves.
Cindy got a Snapchat at 1150pm from Freddie saying that his shift finishes in 10 minutes and if that stuff's not back, he'll get locked up.
Cindy had no time for goodbyes and in the rush to leave, she dropped her mobile phone.
The next morning, Cindy's flatmates rushed into her room and showed her Mr Prince's latest tweet.
Whosoever thumbprint unlocks this phone, I shall marry.
Cindy jumped out of bed and ran to the office in her pyjamas.
''Here!'' she said, holding out her thumb.
The phone unlocked and they lived happily ever after.
Except for Freddie, who was dismissed for repeatedly borrowing clothes from the store.
Luckily, Cindy knew a good lawyer.
Oh, yes, Dom, you look phenomenal.
Pearls and silk and feathers.
Oh, that really suits you, mate.
Why, thank you.
I don't think I've ever felt so beautiful.
I'll have to find a ball to attend before it all disappears.
Well, I think you're in luck, Dom, because our next story ends in a fabulous ball.
Yes, a fantastic setting for a story.
All those characters, all those colours, all that excitement, and just a small helping of magic too.
I'm just not quite sure where you're going to fit in at this ball, Dom, really.
Well, we shall see about that.
Dresses by Drizella.
All the fair maidens of the city crowded around the lamppost straining to see the poster for the royal ball at Charming Castle.
Surrounded by squeals of excitement, two stepsisters rubbed their chins thoughtfully.
This could make them their fortune.
Prince Charming was looking for a wife.
He had invited every girl to the ball.
They would all need a dress.
Only the most fashionable dresses would do.
Some were even planning to travel to Milan, Paris and New York to see what the most fashionable dresses were.
Meanwhile, the stepsisters had returned to their boutique Dresses by Drizella and were planning their latest get-rich-quick scheme.
The only question was would the fair maidens, in their attempt to be fashionable, fall for their trick?
The next day, Miss Jane Fancy Pants entered the shop.
Welcome to Dressers by Drizella.
What can I do for you today? said Anastasia with a sickly sweet smile.
I want the very latest ball gown.
It must be the very best.
Come this way, madam.
I have just the thing, said Rosella.
When Miss Jane Fancypants looked in the mirror, she was flabbergasted.
She was in a very tight, skinny Victorian swimming costume with red stripes and shorts down to her knees.
Are you sure this is the very latest in style?
She asked confused.
Oh, yes.
Everyone is wearing it in Milan.
Well...
If it's good enough for Milan, it's good enough for me.
Do you have any shoes to go with it?
Funny you should ask.
We've just had the latest style in.
And remember, bigger is better, said Anastasia, holding out a pair of clown shoes.
The next day, Lady Julie's snooty cat entered the shop.
Welcome to Dressers by Drizella.
What can I do for you today? said Anastasia with a sickly sweet smile.
I want the very latest ball gown.
It must be the very best.
Come this way, madam.
I have just the thing, said Drizella.
When Lady Julie Snooty Cat looked in the mirror...
She was horrified.
She was in a bright yellow Macintosh that reached down to the floor.
Are you sure this is the very latest in style?
She asked, confused.
Oh, yes.
Everyone is wearing it in New York.
Well...
If it's good enough for New York, it's good enough for me.
Do you have any shoes to go with it?
Funny you should ask.
We've just had the latest style in.
And remember, brighter is better, said Anastasia, holding out a pair of bright scarlet wellies.
In the following days, all the maidens of the city came into the boutique.
They left with everything from football kits to bin bags, with the stepsisters always insisting they were the latest trend.
On the evening of the ball, the castle was filled with girls wearing the strangest things.
All except for two sisters.
They wore the most beautiful flowing ball gowns.
I can't believe they fell for it, they smiled, looking lovingly at the prince.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words Bedtime Stories Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy?
When I woke this morning, I could never have had imagined what lay in store.
It was going to be one of the days of my life.
It all began while having breakfast.
I heard it on my radio.
My call sign Galileo, had been triggered and my superior fitness and skills were being called upon.
I made contact with my handler, Flash, who informed me of my mission.
It was to rescue the Killer Queen from the hands of the tyrant Figaro and bring her safely back to headquarters for questioning, as her mission had been compromised.
I was travelling at the speed of light, as it took a mere two and a half hours to reach planet Mercury.
I was under pressure to land safely and I had one vision to ensure my craft could be camouflaged so we could make a quick escape and return home safely.
Upon landing on Mercury, I had to get across the seven seas of Rai before encountering the first of many guards.
Although they were quite tall and broad, they were not particularly well armed and I was able to break through their ranks.
At one stage, I felt like the Invisible Man, using my skills to evade many of Figaro's guards, while remembering how to retrace my route for our escape.
I was able to take on the appearance of one of the guards, as I had removed and put on some of his uniform.
It felt like a kind of magic as I infiltrated their ranks, slowly moving towards Figaro's private apartments.
There was only one guard to defeat at the main entrance and as I ran at him headlong and thinking, keep yourself alive, I was able to do one of my infamous sidesteps and then tackle him from behind, dislodging his weapon.
He was screaming, save me, as I brought my hammer to fall.
Figaro's apartment was palatial in all aspects, although he was a poor boy from a poor family.
He was asleep, away in a world of his own, wanting it all with his laser beam by his side.
Don't stop me now as I walk across the dining area to find Killer Queen was imprisoned in a cage.
All she wanted was to break free.
She was exhausted, both physically and mentally, from trying to escape from the cage.
Within seconds I was able to open the door lock and was able to break free the Killer Queen from the clutches of Tyrant Figaro.
Maybe I'm going slightly mad, but we rushed back through Figaro's apartment.
Now I'm here.
We could quickly retrace my original path back to my craft, and we were able to make a speedy takeoff.
My lightning reactions, superior fitness and skills allowed me to carry out my mission successfully.
The show must go on.
It's a hard life, Now, where did I leave my bagpipes?
Now, what is going on here?
Well, you've got the bagpipes, yeah?
Are you sure you know how to play them?
Oh, yes.
You just put your fingers here and throw this bit over your shoulder.
Now...
I know it doesn't sound very good, but that's because I'm not very good at the moment.
Yes, clearly.
I'd give them back to our storyteller's character if I were you.
He was actually looking for them.
Yes, you're right.
I should return them.
It's just that means our collection of stories are, well, over.
And, well, I'm not ready.
Patience, Dom.
We have a whole heap of stories to come.
This is just the beginning.
Listen carefully and you'll hear the chattering of all the other stories waiting to be told.
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bedtime Stories.
We'll see you all back here next week.
Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss out and keep those imaginations warm until then.
Directing the reader.
Don't think of yourself as an author of the story.
Imagine you're the director instead.
Every scene of a film is made up of different camera shots, from close-ups to the view through a wide-angle lens.
Think about how you can use description to direct your reader's attention in a similar way.
Think about how you move the camera's focus to guide the reader's eye as you write each scene.
Thank you so much to the BBC Radio Drama Company and to you for all the amazing stories you've written.
We can't wait to hear what you've got up your sleeves this year.
From everyone here at Radio 2 and 500 Words, good luck and good night.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
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