Thank you very, very much.
Enjoy yourself.
Enjoy yourself.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show.
That's right.
We're here.
You made it.
Thank you.
Well, guys, it was another absolutely freezing day here in New York City.
Oh, my gosh.
It was so cold, I went to LaGuardia just to be groped by the TSA.
I'm like, go for it.
Go for it.
I didn't even feel anything down there.
Go for it.
If you find it, good luck.
I don't know what to say.
It was so cold, I didn't Uber to work.
I luged.
Seriously, I haven't been this frozen since I watched Heated Rivalry with my grandmother.
I mean, that's how... It is brutal out there.
It is so cold, Al Roker went on Hot Ones and shoved the wings down his pants.
I didn't know what was happening.
Let's get to some news here.
Today, President Trump delivered a speech at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland.
And at one point, he called Greenland a piece of ice.
In response, the people of Greenland called Trump a piece of something else.
And people are talking about this.
People are talking about this.
During his speech, Trump insisted that the US acquiring Greenland said that he won't use force to get it.
When asked how he'll get Greenland's Trump stuff, two McNuggets in his cheeks and said I'm gonna make them an offer they can't refuse.
I'm gonna make them an offer they can't refuse.
It's an impression of some guy doing an impression.
It's like a turducken.
Meanwhile, I read that Trump ducking.
I read that European leaders at the forum planned to stage an intervention with Trump about his desire to own Greenland.
Yeah, it's the only intervention where the group tells one person you're giving us a drinking problem, okay.
You're giving us.
Did you guys see this?
On the way to Switzerland.
Trump had to turn back shortly after takeoff due to a minor issue on Air Force One.
Oh, minor issue?
You mean Epstein?
No.
Oh, no.
No, no.
A minor... What's that?
No, a minor electrical issue.
Oh, electrical issue.
Yeah, yeah.
A minor electrical... Okay, my bad.
Yeah.
No problem.
A minor electrical issue on Air Force One.
That happened after Trump tried to plug in a tanning bed and his hair dryer in at the same time.
More news from Switzerland.
Yesterday, while giving a speech, French President Emmanuel Macron wore a pair of aviators.
Take a look at this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, he said the reason for wearing the glasses was to cover up an unsightly eye condition.
But I don't know.
It kind of sounds like he let it go to his head.
I mean, check out this clip.
Business leaders, your majesties, distinguished heads of state and governments, cheeky babies, cool cats dadios dweeboids chums, hot mommas posers nerds nerdettes dreamboats squares, grease balls and foreign dignitaries.
Let's not all flip our lid, you dig?
Yeah.
He changed it a little bit.
Cut to his head.
Hey, I read that J.D.
Vance and his wife Usha announced that they're pregnant with their fourth child.
It'll be nice to hear the pitter-patter of little feet around the White House that aren't Marco Rubio's.
Yeah, J.D.
Vance and his wife are having another baby.
Well, that can be a lot of work, so I've got a little advice for the vice president.
Having a newborn can be tough.
When they're born, they come out screaming.
You know, like... No!
Get those lights off!
They can be up all night, and then they're sleeping all day.
You know, like...
This is taxpayer money.
When the president said we're going to do foreign aid, but we're going to do foreign aid for countries.
Of course they can't talk, so they struggle to communicate.
You know, like... They only speak in baby talk.
You know, like... The main focus is milk.
You know, like...
Oh!
Oh, no.
You always know when they're, well, going to the bathroom.
But after all that work, it's worth it when they look at you and show you love, kind of like...
In the end, just know that one day he'll say his first words.
You know, like... -"Daddy, you're my daddy."
-"I hope that helps."
While switching gears, I saw that Lego just unveiled the 2,000-piece Golden Retriever set.
Yeah, it's perfect for anyone who's always tripping over their dog and thinking, if only this were made out of Legos.
Well, this is going viral.
The cast of Hamnet had a massive dance break to Rihanna's song We Found Love when they wrapped production.
After such an intense, long production, I'm sure that the cast loved relieving some stress.
Take a look.
It's really fun.
Isn't that great?
That brings a smile to my face.
Moving on.
Finally, in other news, the sun is currently releasing the largest solar radiation storm in over 20 tiers.
I'm sorry.
Years.
20 years.
Let me take that back.
In other news, the sun is currently releasing the largest solar radiation stork in over 20.
I just said stork.
Alright.
Let me try it again.
Let's try this again.
In other news, the sun is currently releasing the largest stone of radiation.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man, you got it, Jimmy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Quest.
Don't worry, everyone.
We'll cut out all this, okay?
We'll cut all this out.
In other news, the skunk is... God, this is ridiculous!
Come on, take your time, man.
You can do this.
Okay, okay, let's try one more time.
Otherwise, I'm just skipping the whole thing.
In other news, the sun is currently releasing the largest solar radiation storm in over 20 years.
Yes!
I did it!
That was fun.
We have a great show!
Give it up for The Roots, everybody!
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
What a show we have for you tonight.
She's an Oscar-winning actor who produced and stars in the new animated film Arco, which opens in New York and LA this Friday and in theaters everywhere January 30th.
Natalie Portman is here tonight!
Fun!
He plays Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things.
He also stars in the series Industry, which airs new episodes Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.
And HBO Max's Charlie Heaton is joining us tonight.
And we got great music from your old Droog and Mad Lib.
Well guys, according to a new survey, two out of three Americans say President Trump has not done enough to lower the prices of everyday goods.
Well, we wanted to find out more, so we conducted our own poll.
It's time for We Polled Three Americans.
Alright, first we asked, what should President Trump be doing to lower prices?
Person one said, remove the tariffs.
Person two said, stabilize trade relationships.
Person three said, wow, good answers.
Was I supposed to study for this?
Next, we asked, what's one everyday item that's gotten more expensive?
Person one said, eggs.
Person two said, rent.
Person three said, did you give them the answers?
I'll say rented eggs.
Is that a thing?
Then we asked, what are you personally doing to adjust to the higher prices?
Person one said, cutting back on extras.
Person two said, budgeting more carefully.
Person three said, are person one and person two dating?
They seem really dialed in.
Next, we asked, do you think tariffs play a role in higher costs?
Person one said, absolutely.
Person two said, they affect the supply chain.
Person three said, supply chain tariffs, totally.
I knew that.
Maybe we could all three get together sometime.
Then we asked, how confident are you in your understanding of the economy?
Person one said, fairly confident.
Person two said, pretty confident.
Person three said I feel like if we were in a throuple, you guys could catch me up on some political stuff.
Person one said, definitely not.
Person two said, in your dreams, pal.
Person three said, I'll take that as a maybe.
My DMs are wide open if you're feeling slidey.
There you have it.
The people have spoken.
Stick around.
We'll be right back with Natalie Portman, everybody.
Come on!
