And now it's time for the second part of The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.
Do you remember I told you how, on Christmas Eve 1816, Mary and Fred were given lots of presents by their parents and Godpapa Drosselmeyer, a curious old man who mends clocks and makes wonderful toys?
One of their presents was me, a wooden nutcracker man who can crack open nuts with my mouth.
Fred made me work so hard that my teeth and jaw broke, but kind little Mary took care of me.
When everyone else had gone to bed, Mary put me in the glass-fronted toy cupboard with her dolls, Miss Clara and Miss Gertrude.
Then strange things started to happen.
The clock behaved oddly and the carved owl on top turned into Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
Then suddenly, the whole room was full of mice, led by their king, a terrible monster with seven heads.
I order you all to leave the toy company and surrender!
Brave Nutcracker, you must save my toys!
Well, I'll do my best.
Do you surrender?
No!
Then prepare to face the armies of Mouse Dummy!
Mouse Army!
And dance!
The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.
A serial for radio in four episodes by Brian Sibley. based on the story by E.T.A.
Hoffman with Tony Robinson as the Nutcracker, Edward D'Souza as Drosselmeyer and James Grout as the King.
Episode 2, The Great Battle.
Here we march, pitter pitter pat, standing our way and we love you that.
This is the song which the brave minds sing, marching to war with their brave most king.
Here we march.
Pitter pitter pat, pitter pitter pitter pitter pitter pitter pitter pitter pitter, pitter pat.
I'm getting closer.
Nutcracker, whatever shall we do?
Awake!
Awake!
We must action take.
What a stirring sight.
Are you ready to fight?
To use your might to defend the right?
Awake!
Awake!
This is the night!
What's happening?
Isn't it obvious, you stupid doll?
There's going to be a fight.
The question is, what will happen to us?
Oh, my poor dolls.
Never fear, ladies.
I wish I felt as brave as I sound.
Forward, race.
Forward and take the toy car out.
Knick, knack, knack.
Stupid mousy pack.
All their skulls we'll crack.
Wallop, wallop, whack.
We are ready to attack.
Oh, my brave nutcracker.
Who will stand by me in this battle?
What about you, clowns?
Clowns are silly!
Well, excuse me, monkey.
Yes, Master Pantalone.
Well, silly we may be, but we'll fight on your side, won't we, lads?
Yes!
Well, that's comforting.
Now, ask that monkey who said we're silly if he'll fight in your army.
Of course we will.
We wild animals are very brave.
Tigers, lions, wolves, bears and elephants.
Isn't that right?
But that should scare those mice.
The armies of mouse don't scare quite that much more clowns and wooden elephants.
To your places, my noble mice!
What about the other animals, the ones in Fred's toy farm?
We're with you.
Pig and horse, cow and sheep, duck and hen, cat and dog.
Well, that's better than nothing.
Are we all ready then?
We'll probably get to death and victory.
Yeah, let's just aim for victory, shall we?
Right, men, forward to battle.
Oh, my noble Lord Nutcracker.
No, just listen to her.
To think I was so selfish that I would not lend you my bed when you were wounded.
My bed?
You must not go to fight when you are already sick.
Your troops are already advancing.
Stay here with me, brave nutcracker, and watch their victory from the safety of my arms.
Well, she's suddenly changed her tune.
Sweet Miss Clara, I'm so pleased to see you showing such later-like concern for my dear Nutcracker.
I will not let you go.
You brave, brave, brave, brave thing.
Madam, please, be so kind as to put me down.
Thank you.
Now, I must go.
And your kindness will always be in my heart, even in the thick of battle, all right?
Here.
Take my belt with its glittering jewels as a token of my love, and wear it as you go out to fight.
Oh, how extremely embarrassing.
Dear lady, you are most kind, but I'm afraid I already have a gift from another lady.
What?
That old ribbon?
Miss Clara, how could you?
It's her ribbon, you stupid doll.
Oh dear, what have I said?
With a bit of luck, enough to get you sent to the next jumble sale instead of me.
Ladies, my army awaits me.
Carriagemen!
I am with you!
Drummer, beat the general march!
Where on earth is all that noise coming from?
It's the shelf above, where young Fred keeps his soldiers.
Oh, how I wish Fred was here to see this.
He'd be so proud of his troops.
The battle is about to begin.
I expect every master to be guilty.
Remember!
Nice fight to the death!
I'm letting be their death, not your own!
Where's the trumpeter?
Well, Fred knocked his head off last week, so he can't blow anymore.
Oh, what are we going to do?
Someone's got to sound the attack.
Well, I've heard... I've got one of these.
Excellent pantaloon.
Then use it to call your troops to order.
My troops?
Yes, I'm making you commander-in-chief of the cavalry and artillery.
I haven't even got an horse.
Well, not even an hockey horse.
You don't need one.
You've such long legs you can gallop along perfectly well without.
What do you say?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
All right.
I mean, yes, sir.
Mouse King, this is war!
And prepare to die, nutcracker!
Prepare to die, die, die, die, die, die, die!
Heads will roll!
All seven of them!
Let the battle begin!
Oh dear, oh dear, I don't look.
What is going on?
Miss Gertrude, can you see?
Not properly from here.
If only we were on a higher shelf.
I can see, I can see.
A very good view of battle.
I can see, I can see.
Who's that?
The clockwork parrot who lives on the top shelf.
Frightfully vulgar creature in a gilded cage.
Hideous cage.
Can't get out.
Can't take part in great battle, but I can see.
Oh, yes.
Want me to tell you what I can see?
Yes?
No?
Yes?
Yes, Clockwork Parrot.
Please tell us what you see.
Is that brave Nutcracker all right?
Nutcracker has troops in three lines across Rome.
Pantalone and soldiers have set up cannons on Mama Lady's footstool.
Forward!
Oh, how terrifying!
Not really.
Hardly at all.
Cannons only fire sugar plums and ginger nuts.
Pop!
Mice hit by sugar plums.
White arcing sugar everywhere.
But the mice are still attacking.
So we pop!
Pop!
Take the guns!
The guns!
Defend the footstool!
More mice!
More mice!
Coming up through the floor!
Hundreds of them!
Nutcracker force to retreat!
Oh dear!
Oh dear!
Mice attacking footstool!
Oh no!
Stunned and fired men!
Stunned and fired!
Catastrophe!
Disaster!
The enemy's taken the footstool!
And Duluth's troops falling back!
What will happen now?
We'll have the guns now!
Guns!
Guns!
Guns!
Guns!
Guns!
Guns!
Oh, before they add some custard pies, retreat and be reformed then!
Nutcracker trying to rally troops?
Don't give up!
Don't give up!
Courage, men!
Courage, Nutcracker!
Close your ranks!
Keep together!
Fire the guns!
We're firing at the twin cupboards!
I may be a parrot, but I'd say... Attack!
Reinforcements coming!
Bring me that nutcracker dinner away!
Chaos and confusion!
Chaos and confusion!
Charge!
Bataloon leads out the cavalry!
Charge!
Horses gallop!
Swords flash!
Mouse teeth bite, mouse claws scratch, bright white uniforms all covered in scars.
Robbery retreat!
Animals attack!
Loads of animals.
Big cats and little cats.
Bears and dogs.
Cows and giraffes.
Pigs and monkeys.
Sheep and camels.
Pantaloons, bring out the reserve.
Look out, not cropping.
There's more mice coming.
Up between the floorboards.
Onto the chest of drawers.
Out of the walls.
Mice, mice, mice.
This is the end.
We're done for.
No, you sir!
Never, never, never!
I've spoken through Nutcracker's rags.
Great danger now.
Is he all right?
Nutcracker's down.
Too bad, too bad.
Bye, Samim.
Nasty little squeakers.
My poor Nutcracker.
Eat me up, then.
Because I'll answer to me and my seven mouthfuls of teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth.
No, no, no.
Quick, Mary.
Quick, quick.
What can I do?
Throw something at that awful great marsh.
Anything.
Your shoes.
Anything.
Throw your shoe.
Hurry, hurry.
Quick, quick.
Now.
There.
Now leave him alone.
She will be all right, won't she?
Trust me.
What's the point of being married to a doctor if you don't take his word for things?
Mary will be fine.
The cut was clean and will heal.
As long as the fever breaks soon.
Mind you, if that glass had pierced a vein, things might not have ended so happily.
Whatever happened?
I'm not sure.
I peeped into her room and found she wasn't in bed.
I went downstairs to look for her.
It's as well that I did.
But there she was, lying in a pool of blood with broken glass everywhere.
And her dolls and French toy soldiers scattered all over the floor.
I nearly fainted myself when I saw the blood and that huge piece of glass sticking in her arm.
Oh, look.
She's awake.
Now, that is a good sign.
Mama?
Papa?
Yes, my dear, what is it?
Are all the mice gone?
And what about the brave Nutcracker?
Is he safe?
What are you talking about, you silly thing?
Probably just a nightmare.
A very common symptom with fevers.
You've given us a worrying time, young lady.
There are mice everywhere.
Oh.
Been dreaming, my dear.
But there were.
Papa, there were.
And they fought a great battle with the toys.
And the Nutcracker was in charge of the army.
And when the mice took him prisoner I threw my shoe at them and I can't quite remember anything after that.
That's very strange.
What is?
I found the Nutcracker laying on her cut arm and one of her shoes on the other side of the room.
What can it all mean?
Well, one thing is certain.
The patient needs some more rest.
Mama, what about the nutcracker?
Oh, everything is all right, my dear.
The mice are gone and the nutcracker is safe and sound in the toy cupboard.
Are you sure?
Oh, quite sure.
Now, you must try to sleep.
And don't worry anymore.
Make sure she takes her medicine and stays in bed.
As soon as I've finished my rounds, I'll be back to see how she's getting along.
Mary?
Mary!
Mary, you're a dear, kind lady, and I'm very grateful to you for saving my life.
But there's one more thing which you can do for me.
What is it?
What do you want me to do?
Just one more thing.
One more thing.
One more thing.
And so the handsome prince lifted the beautiful princess onto his horse and they rode away together to his castle, where they lived happily ever after.
I like that story.
It's a stupid story.
It is not.
Fred, will you please stop bouncing on the bed?
Mary is supposed to be resting.
Well, well, well.
May I come in?
Good, Papa Drosselmeyer.
What a nice surprise.
I said to myself, I really must see how my poor daughter Godpapa, why did you stop the clock?
What are you talking about, Mary?
I saw you sitting on top of the clock where the carved owl used to be.
You did?
And then you covered up the face of the clock with your wings to stop it from striking.
I did?
Yes, so that the clock wouldn't frighten the mice away.
What a peculiar old man I must be.
Why didn't you help us, Godpapa, when the nutcracker was fighting with the mice?
Mary!
Mary!
If I told stories like that, I'd get towed off.
Be quiet, Fred.
I'm sorry, God, Papa, but she was very feverish for several days and had the strangest dreams.
Well, of course, dreams are strange.
The pendulum could only rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, tattle, prattle.
Clock couldn't tick, couldn't click, click, clock tick, tock.
Clock.
Stop.
Then hammer strikes.
Ting-tang.
Bells ring and chime.
Cling-clang.
Dolls no longer need to cry.
Poor Nutcracker is home and dry.
The fighting's done.
The battle's won.
And here comes Owl on feathery wing, scaring away the horrid Mouse King.
Clock strikes.
Ding-ding-a-ling.
Marking time with pendulum swing.
Click-clock.
Tick.
And that is the end of my song.
You're funny, Godpapa.
Then I didn't dream it.
Mary, whatever's the matter?
You've gone quite pale.
But it wasn't the owl that frightened off the mice, was it?
Who can tell?
Oh, God, Papa, what does all this mean?
Mean?
Why, nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Nothing at all.
Surely you've heard my clockmaker song before.
I always sing it to patients like Mary.
You mustn't be angry with me for not having cut off the mouse king's seven heads.
That, I'm afraid, wasn't possible.
However, I do have something for you which I think will please you.
There.
There.
See who I brought with me.
The Nutcracker.
I bet you didn't think you'd ever see me again.
He's as good as new.
Well, I wouldn't go quite that far.
His teeth are back in and his jaw's been fixed.
Now, Mary, you can see for yourself how kind Godpapa Drosselmeyer is to your Nutcracker.
You must agree with your mother, Mary, although the Nutcracker is still rather crooked.
And you wouldn't possibly call him handsome.
Here we go again.
But that's not surprising because he comes from an ugly family.
Does?
Of course.
If you like, I could tell how they came to be such an ugly family.
Or maybe you know the story of Princess Pearly Pat and the Lady Mousekins.
Just a minute.
What is it now, young man?
You've put the Nutcracker's teeth back in and minted his wobbly jaw, but his sword's gone.
He doesn't miss a trick, does he?
I never knew a boy to fuss about things like you.
What has it got to do with me whether Nutcracker has a sword or not?
I've made his body well, haven't I?
And if he wants a sword, well, he'll just have to find one for himself.
That's true.
And if he wants to be a really good, brave soldier...
Then he will.
I'll have to.
Now then, where was I?
Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes.
I was asking whether you knew the story of Princess Pearly Pad.
No.
Will you tell it to us?
I do hope this won't be one of those strange, creepy stories you sometimes tell.
On the contrary, dear lady, the story I was about to tell you was the most amusing one.
So, do you wish to hear it or not?
Yes, please.
Tell us the story.
Very well, then.
I usually call it the story of the hard nut.
Oh, I do wish you wouldn't mention hard nuts.
But it's some time before the hard nut comes into the story and it might put the poor nutcracker's teeth on edge.
How thoughtful.
I'll call it the story of Lady Mousekins.
Once upon a time.
Exactly, Fred.
Once upon a time, there was a king and queen.
And when my story begins, they had no children.
Now, the king was very fond of one particular food.
And that was sausages.
Every day he consulted with the royal astronomer.
And on the day our story begins, the astronomer had some important information for the kings.
Today, Your Majesty, the planets are following an orbital course that brings them, for the first time this century, into conjunction with the largest and just possibly the smallest stars in the constellation known as the Great Pig.
Today is... He makes a mail of it, doesn't he?
Yes, yes, yes.
What is today?
Today is the most ideal day for the making of sausages.
Now that might be worth making a meal of.
This is wonderful news.
We shall have a magnificent celebration.
We shall invite all the local kings and princes and lords and dukes and earls and entertain them with tournaments and plays and balls and
As a highlight, a magnificent, unforgettable sausage banquet.
We must go and see the Queen at once.
And so he did.
We think you know how fond we are of that exquisite little delicacy known as the... Sausage.
Precisely.
Well, we have had the most delicious idea.
We, that is us, will have a... Sausage banquet.
Yes.
And it occurred to us that you might perform for us a small favour.
Will you, dear Queen...
Order our banquet by... Making the sausages.
Yes, dear.
I always do.
Hurrah!
Though why we employ a kitchen full of royal cooks, I'll never know.
If I'd been queen, I'd have told him to make his own sausages.
A king is too grand to make sausages.
But not too grand to eat them.
Why don't they just let him get on with the story?
Anyway.
To continue.
That's better.
The king immediately summoned the lord high treasurer.
Send for the great golden sausage pot.
Send for the great golden sausage pot.
And so the great golden sausage pot was sent for and brought to the queen.
Now I require the royal apron.
Queen's apron!
Queen's apron!
Queen's apron!
And that's how it went on, until at last the great sausage cooking began.
First light the fire.
This should be made of sandalwood.
Do we happen to have any sandalwood?
Send for sandalwood!
Fill one large silver saucepan with water, bring to the boil and add a large quantity of salt, about three pounds and 15 table spoonfuls of pepper.
Chop 76 onions, 44 carrots, two small tomatoes, half a potato, and parsley and thyme and garlic to taste.
Now i'm ready for the royal bacon to give the sausages their unique.
The smell of cooking soon filled the kitchen and drifted out into the corridors, up the staircase and into the council chamber.
And so, your majesty, we come once more to the question of the chicken tats.
Excuse us.
One moment.
That smells divine.
Give us a kiss.
And permit us a stir for the mixture with our gold scepter.
Oh, wonderful.
They will be, without doubt, the best sausages in the whole world.
Your Lordships, pray continue.
What do you think of my story so far?
It's very silly.
It's making me hungry.
What's all this got to do with me, you may be wondering?
So am I, actually.
Now, what do you suppose happened next?
What?
What?
It was now time to prepare the bacon to put in the sausage meat.
Chop.
Chop very small, put in the silver bacon pan to fry.
When, all of a sudden, one of the great stones on the kitchen floor began to who is that?
Only me?
Oh a mouse, a great big mouse.
I am the lady mouseykin.
What do you want?
That's not a very friendly way to welcome a fellow monarch.
After all, i have lived in this palace as long as you.
You may be a queen, but so am i.
I Queen of where?
I am queen of all mouse-dom.
All I want is a taste of that beautiful bacon that's sizzling on the fire.
No!
Go away!
It would be better if you did as I ask.
Are you threatening me?
Let us just say you would not want me as your enemy.
You frighten me.
Oh, very well, but only a taste, and then you must go away.
How kind, i only ask the merest morsel, just a little scrap, the most insignificant mouthful delicious.
The only problem is it's so good.
It seems unfair that I alone, among the inhabitants of Mouse-dom, should be able to enjoy it.
And can you guess what she did then?
No.
What?
I do hope it was nothing nasty.
I wouldn't be surprised.
What happened was, Mousekins whistled.
Quick as a flash, out jumped Mousikin's sons and daughters, uncles and aunts, nephews and cousins.
And they all started gobbling up the Queen's bacon.
No!
Stop it!
Help!
Help!
Eat up!
Eat up!
Eat!
Eat!
Gobble, gobble, gobble!
Soon they'll have nothing left to put in the great gold sausage pot.
In the second episode of E.T.A.
Hoffman's The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.
You heard Tony Robinson as the Nutcracker, Edward D'Souza as Drosselmeyer, Eric Allen as the Mouse King and Oriol Smith as Lady Mousikins.
Mary was played by Angela Shafto and Fred by Blair Ford, with Sandra Clarke as Mama, Cyril Jenkins as Miss Clara, James Grout as the King, Joanna Wake as the Queen, Neil Roberts as the Pantalone and Robert Cawthorpe as the Parrot.
Other parts were played by members of the cast.
The music was composed and performed by David Hewson.
The Nutcracker and the Mouse King was written for radio by Brian Sibley and was directed in our Bristol studios by Peter Fozzer.
Royal bacon, mouseykins!
A dish fit for a queen!
