And now it's time for the first part of The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.
Saw goes... Chisel goes chip.
Hammer goes tap.
Hurry up, hurry up.
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Chip, chip, chip.
Tap, tap, tap.
Everything must be ready and on time, or Dr Stahlbaum's children will never forgive their old godpapa.
Christmas 1816.
A Christmas to remember.
And what about you, little nutcracker soldier man?
What can we do about you?
New coat of paint is about all I can offer.
Not much, but better than nothing, perhaps.
Smart new soldier uniform.
Violet jacket.
That's it.
With gold braid and dip, dip, dip white buttons.
Oh, and shiny black boots.
Eyes an unusual shade of green.
Beard as white as cotton wool.
Well, of course it is cotton wool.
And as friendly a smile as I can give you.
What sharp little teeth.
Well, that's the best I can do for you, my little nutcracker man.
The rest will be up to them.
Oh, almost time.
Christmas Eve.
I didn't think it would ever come.
What fun we'll have.
Think of all the toys we'll get.
That's Mary.
Think of all the sweets we'll have.
That's Fred.
Christmas Eve.
And that is where I come in.
The Nutcracker and the Mouse King.
A serial for radio in four episodes by Brian Sibley.
Based on the story by ETA Hoffman.
With Edward D'Souza as Drosselmeyer and Tony Robinson as the Nutcracker.
Episode 1, Christmas Eve.
It's been such a long day and everyone's been busy, busy, busy.
Too busy to bother with us.
Poor little Fred.
They haven't really forgotten us, have they?
Oh, what a terrible thought, Mary.
Listen, you can hear them getting things ready.
Will it be much longer?
It can't be.
It's Father Christmas.
Don't be silly.
Father Christmas doesn't have to ring a bell.
Well, who can it be?
I know who it is.
Come on, let's look out the window.
There, see?
It's got Papa Drosselmeyer.
Hey look, he's seen us!
I don't want to look, he scares me.
No, I'm only a nutcracker so I'm hardly the most handsome fellow in the world.
But the fact is, Godpapa Drosselmeyer is not very pretty.
He has dusty old clothes and wears a big white wig because he hasn't got even a single hair on his wrinkly old head.
He's short and thin with a humped back and a great black patch where his right eye should be.
I don't like Godpapa Drosselmeyer's patch.
It's like a black hole in his head from which something is watching me.
Don't be silly.
Think of all the presents he brings us.
He does make the very best toys in the whole world.
Not just toys.
He makes and repairs clocks as well.
And a Drosselmeyer clock always tells the right time.
He's certainly clever.
I wonder what he'll bring us this year.
I know what he'll bring.
He's going to bring a castle with towers and a turret and a flag on a flagpole and a drawbridge that goes up and down and armies of soldiers marching about.
Left right left right left, right.
Halt present arms by the left.
Quick march left right left right, left right.
And then...
Other soldiers will come and attack the castle and try to get in.
But soldiers inside will fight them off with their rifle.
Rat-a-tat-tat!
Rat-a-tat-tat!
And if they still won't go away, then we'll fire a big cannon at them.
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
And everyone will be fighting!
Boom!
Bang!
Boom!
Bang!
Rat-a-tat-tat!
No, no!
Who wants a stupid old castle?
I know what Godpapa Drosselmeyer is bringing us.
What?
It's going to be a wonderful toy garden with beautiful birds flying to and fro among the flowering trees and singing the most lovely songs.
The flower beds will be full of tiny flowers that shine like Mama's necklace.
Red as rubies, green as emeralds, white as opals.
There'll be cool fountains dancing in the sun, sparkling and splashing among the water lilies.
And there'll be grateful white swans with golden collars round their long necks who will swim to and fro on the glassy surface of a great round pond.
And then a pretty little doll or girl will run along to the garden path to the pond and call the swans to her and feed them with gingerbread.
Swans don't eat gingerbread in any way.
Godpapa Drosselmeyer couldn't make a whole garden.
Of course he could.
If he wanted to, he'd be just as easy as making castles all those soldiers.
Between you and I, Mary's right.
Godpapa Drosselmeyer can do practically anything.
After all, look at me.
Whatever he brings us, we won't be allowed to play with it for long, because they'll make us put it away somewhere safe.
I prefer Mama and Papa's presents because they are ours to do what we like with.
What will they give us this year?
Mama knows I have to have a new doll.
Dolls are silly.
What's wrong with the one you've already got?
Miss Gertrude...
Oh, she's quite impossible.
She can't sit anywhere now without falling onto the floor.
She makes it very difficult to keep her looking clean and tidy.
I told Papa I really need a wooden horse and some more cavalrymen for my army or I can't fight any really good wars.
Why do you always go on about fighting all the time?
Shh!
What is it?
Listen.
I can't hear anything.
That's right.
It's as quiet as quiet.
Why?
What's going on?
I think something's about to happen.
What's that?
It's all right.
It's only a little mouse.
How horrid.
That's not what I was expecting.
But this is... Happy Christmas, my dears.
Come in and see what Father Christmas has brought you.
Here they come.
Look, Fred, look, Mary, what do you think?
It's lovely.
Everything looks so beautiful.
Magical, I'd have said.
What do you see, children?
Such a lot of presents.
Trust you to see the presents.
Well, that's Fred.
And the tree.
Fred, look at the tree.
Do you like it, my darling?
Of course she likes it.
Has there ever been such a wonderful Christmas tree?
There isn't a branch of the tall dark green fir that isn't hung with gold and silver apples and bunches of brown shiny nuts and little bags of brightly coloured Turkish delights and hanging by their string tails, pink sugar mice.
Mice?
Forget about the mice.
Just look at all the lights.
Well, hundreds anyway, twinkling away among the branches.
Like stars.
Exactly.
I've never seen anything so lovely.
And they haven't even seen me yet.
Well now, aren't you going to open your presents?
Yes!
One at a time, don't rush.
Unwrap them carefully.
Some chance of that.
Pretty paper ripped apart, bows and ribbons torn to shreds.
Oh, a picture book.
Look, Skittles.
A doll.
Whee, a top.
And a gun that goes... Manager, my doll.
Look at the dainty little tea set.
And plates of food and a tiny cake.
What a lovely tea party Miss Gertrude will be able to have.
And my new doll, who I'm calling Miss Clara, will pass around the cakes.
Hooray!
Soldiers for my foot!
With flashing silver swords.
To fight off any mice that come running along.
Please don't go on about mice again.
Let's see how these brave soldiers ride.
Ready?
Yes!
First they trot.
Then they canter.
And then they start to gallop.
They go faster and faster.
And faster and faster and faster and faster!
Charge!
This is for you, Mary.
What a pretty dress.
May I wear it tomorrow?
Of course, a special dress for a very special day.
And this little fellow's for you, Fred.
My very old chestnut horse!
Hmm, made from a very old chestnut tree.
I'm going for a ride!
Only at a trot, no galloping.
Giddy-up, giddy-up, clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop!
Hey, careful, Fred!
Slow down!
Oh, come on!
Yeah, or break off his wheels.
Now, now, quiet, everyone.
It's time for a very special surprise.
Oh, that'll be me.
Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
Oh, I could have sworn that was going to be me.
Happy Christmas, children.
Happy Christmas, Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
Thank you.
Do you want to see what I have made you both for Christmas?
This must definitely be me.
I worked on it for days.
I wouldn't have said it was that long.
And last night, when you were tucked up in your beds, I came visiting.
You two were fast asleep, but I was down here working away with my tools.
What is he talking about?
Putting together my latest masterpiece.
Oh, well, that can't be me then.
It is just behind this screen.
And the moment has now come...
To show it to you all.
It's the garden.
It's the castle.
It's both.
But then I said he could do anything, didn't I?
Now, in this beautiful landscaped park of trees and flower beds, fountains and lakes.
With swans.
Stands a noble castle with golden towers and the finest stained glass windows.
It's an architectural masterwork.
Impatient child.
Watch.
Oh, look, children.
Little lights are coming on all over the castle.
Each little silver chandelier is a perfect replica.
All the doors and windows are beginning to open.
You can see right inside.
Fancy that, an outside and an inside.
And there...
All my little people.
They're only clockwork, of course.
Good, but only clockwork.
Dance and skip, prance and hop, twirl and swirl and never stop.
In and out and round and around, everyone dance to the merry music sound.
And look at all the little children playing in the upstairs rooms.
Dance, little boys.
Sing, little girls.
And outside on the terrace, smart little soldiers are marching up and down.
Quick, march.
Change the guard.
Oh, and look who's opening the castle door.
It's a tiny Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
No bigger than my thumb.
As small as a mouse.
But the spitting image, high patch and all.
Oh, it's quite wonderful, Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
Isn't it, children?
It's lovely, thank you.
Good.
Yes, my boy.
Why doesn't the little god, Papa Josemaria, open one of the other doors?
That's impossible, Fred.
But why doesn't the people dancing in the hall come out and dance on the lawn?
But that's not possible either.
Then can the children come down the stairs so I can see them better?
No, I'm afraid not.
Then, can the soldiers march into the castle?
Of course they can't.
The machinery can only work in the way it's made to work.
What did I tell you?
Any clockwork?
Then I think I'd rather play with my toy soldiers.
I can make them do manoeuvres up and down, forward and backward, just as I choose.
Not like your people in your castle.
Fred, don't be so rude to Godpapa.
He has worked very hard to make you such a beautiful toy.
This is a masterpiece of mechanical engineering and it is not.
For rude and stupid children, I will pack my castle away.
You must forgive him, Godpapa.
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Please, show me again how it works.
It's so delightful to watch.
After taking so much trouble, I do not think I deserve to be insulted in this way.
Godpapa, please.
Well, all right, if you're quite sure you wish to see it again.
Oh, but I do.
Very well, then.
Oh, look, everyone.
At last, somebody's seen me.
Who is this dear little man?
Oh, that is Master Nutcracker.
What does he do?
Well, he likes to imagine he's a brave and gallant soldier.
That's why he's always standing to attention, but that's just a fantasy he has.
His real job is cracking open hard nuts.
Then he's useful to have around, especially at Christmas.
It's nice to feel wanted.
He's an ugly little chap.
Charming.
He's not.
Nobody is, my dear.
He's really dreadfully ugly.
Thank you very much.
Anyway, what if he is?
Oh, I was just beginning to like her.
He looks kind and friendly.
But just look at his clothes.
Whoever saw a soldier with such an outrageous uniform?
Well, who's fault's that?
You wear funny clothes, Godpapa Dresselmeyer.
Oh, do I indeed?
Yes, but you're still a good kind man.
Am I indeed?
Good question.
Papa, please, can I look after him?
He's mine as much as hers, isn't he, Papa?
Well, Fred does have a point.
I brought him to work for both of you.
I'll tell you what.
Mary, since you like him so much, he can be your special pet.
But Fred still has as much right to use him as you do.
Now, let's see Master Nutcracker do his job.
Here's some very hard nuts.
Oh, dear, I've been dreading this.
Now, you lift his cloak at the back like this.
And as you do so, he opens his mouth.
This is really very uncomfortable.
Then you pop in a nut between his sharp white teeth.
Here we are.
Here's one.
Oh, it's a Brazil nut.
Oh, they're always so horribly hard.
Then you push down on his cloak.
His jaws snap shut.
And the nut goes...
Thank you.
Mmm.
Delicious.
Now, you try, Mary.
I'm only going to make him crack little nuts.
Then he won't have to open his mouth quite so wide.
What a very thoughtful young lady.
Oh, here we go again.
I want my go now.
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Have a nut, nutcracker.
Oh, please, not another...
And now this one.
Oh, walnuts now.
And another one.
Now stop it.
He's a nutcracker, isn't he?
Well, I want some nuts cracked.
You're hurting him.
Oh, nonsense.
Besides, a nutcracker that can't crack a few little nuts ought to be ashamed of itself.
Please.
Now say what you've done.
It's only a couple of teeth.
It's all right if I use some salt.
And his jaw's gone all wobbly.
Oh, my poor dear Nutcracker.
Give him to me.
Mary, don't snatch.
It's all right, Nutcracker.
I won't let them hurt you again.
Give him back, Mary.
I'll make him go on cracking nuts until all his teeth fall out.
If need be, till his jaw drops off.
Oh, some Christmas this is turning out to be.
Leave him alone.
Call himself a nutcracker.
He hasn't got a decent tooth in his head.
I must say, I think Fred's right.
What's the use of a nutcracker that doesn't crack?
And if he really were a soldier, well, then he'd expect to get a few wounds in the course of duty.
Papa!
I said Mary could look after the nutcracker, and since he obviously needs looking after, I'm putting him in her care.
And nobody is to interfere.
Besides, I'm surprised at you, Fred.
You should know that a wounded soldier is never sent back to the front line.
Here, I'll keep all your teeth and maybe we can put them back in again.
It's not just the taste, it's the jaw.
And your poor jaw.
Here, I'll use this pretty little ribbon for my dress and tie it up.
That'll stop him cracking nuts altogether.
There.
Does that feel better?
Sort of, I suppose.
And now I'll wrap you up in my handkerchief so you won't catch a chill.
You're silly.
Go away.
Fred, play with your soldiers and let Mary be.
But it's only an old nutcracker.
Isn't it good, Padrosomai?
I must confess, I really can't imagine why Mary has taken to such an ugly little fellow.
He's not ugly.
And if you were dressed as smartly as my little nutcracker, I think you would look as handsome as he does.
I'm not actually sure that's a compliment.
Mary.
Now, you mustn't be unkind to Godpapa Drosselmeyer.
Not when he's brought you such a lovely Christmas present.
I'm sorry, Godpapa.
That clock of yours is wrong.
Oh, it always is.
It loses several minutes every day.
Then you should let me fix it.
I wish you could get rid of that ugly old owl carved on top.
Owls are wise birds, dear lady.
Anyway, I must be getting along home.
I wish you all a very happy Christmas.
Even you, Master Nutcracker.
Goodbye, Godpapa.
Happy Christmas.
Compliments of the season.
We'll see you to the door, Godpapa, next week.
And now I'll put you to bed.
Oh, I certainly wouldn't mind a little lie down.
Where's Master Nutcracker going to sleep?
With my dolls in the toy cupboard, of course.
Oh, how undignified.
I'll open the glass doors.
And then I can put you inside.
There.
Now then, Nutcracker dear, this is Miss Gertrude, who always lived here.
How do you do? nasty common wooden thing.
And this is Miss Clara, who just arrived today.
Nice to meet you.
Yes, it's quite a pretty little place.
I think I might stay.
Who invited you?
I was perfectly happy here, now the whole world's moving in.
If I were you, Miss Gertrude, I'd think yourself lucky you haven't been thrown out yet.
How dare you!
Ladies, please, I have a terrible headache.
Come on, children, time for bed.
No more playing with your soldiers tonight, Fred.
You need your sleep.
Yes, Mama!
Mary?
Let me stay a little while longer, Mama.
I've got to make sure my nutcracker is comfortable for the night.
Very well.
But come to bed soon, or you will not be up in good time in the morning.
How are you feeling now, my little nutcracker?
How does anyone feel when they've had half their teeth knocked out?
Don't be too angry with my brother for hurting you.
He's really quite kind-hearted.
What?
He's a little monster.
But now I'm going to take great care of you until you're well and happy again.
I'll ask Godpapa Drosselmeyer to put your teeth back in and make your jaw straight again.
Look, I'd really rather Drosselmeyer left my teeth alone.
That's strange.
I could have sworn you pulled a face when I said Godpapa Drosselmeyer's name.
Yeah, that's because I did.
No.
I'm being silly.
How could you have pulled a face?
You're a maid of wood.
I do wish you'd listen to me.
Anyway, you'd better lie down.
Miss Clara, please be kind enough to give up your bed to this poor sick nutcracker.
It's not her bed.
I'm sure you could manage just as well on the sofa.
Me?
Sleep on a sofa?
The very idea.
After all, You are quite well and strong.
That's why you've got such lovely pink cheeks.
And the sofa is very soft and comfortable.
Then why doesn't he sleep on it?
In point of fact, they're my bed and my sofa.
And I don't see why I should share my home with anyone.
Ladies, I really don't think anything's going to be solved, but... Oh!
That noise!
Did you hear it, Miss Gertrude?
Yes, Miss Clara, and I think I've heard it before.
What's happening?
Listen, there's something wrong with the clock.
And that's not all.
The wooden owl on the top of the clock is moving its eyes.
If I didn't know that it was only carved out of wood, I'd have said it was alive.
It's stretching its wings.
And covering the face of the clock.
To stop it seeing.
Or to stop it telling.
Telling what?
Knock, ding, knock.
Stop the clock.
No warning bell.
Mouse King hears well. has come.
That horrid owl.
But it isn't an owl anymore.
It's James.
It's changed into him.
Drosselmeyer.
God, Papa.
What are you doing up there?
I may not be more handsome than your nutcracker, but I'm certainly prettier than that wooden owl on your clock.
Even if I have only got one eye.
Please come down.
You're frightening me, good papa.
It's not me you need to be frightened of.
What do you mean?
Who should I be frightened of?
Please tell me, good papa.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Who is that?
Who is that?
Who is that?
Here we come, pitter-pat.
See our eyes like points of light, shining brightly in the night.
Who is that?
Who is that?
Here we come, pitter-pat.
Pitter, pitter, pitter, pitter, pitter, pitter, pitter-pat.
Mice!
They're everywhere.
They're coming out of the walls.
And up through the floor.
This doesn't look good.
Stop them, please.
Peeping out of every crevice.
Sliding through every crevice.
Scampering out of every crevice.
Squeezing through every chink.
Not good at all.
Make them go away.
Everywhere, here and there.
Bitter, bitter, bittering.
Looking for the mouse king.
In and out, round and round.
Bitter, bitter, pattering.
Waiting for the mouse king.
Here we are.
The floor's erupting!
Wood and nails and stones!
He's big!
He's huge!
He's gigantic!
He's ugly!
He's horrid!
He's monstrous!
I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am!
And he's got so many heads!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
And each with a golden crown because...
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Help me, somebody, please.
A little girl.
She's going to faint.
Nutcracker, do something.
What am I supposed to do?
Watch out for flying glass.
Tonight will be my hour of triumph.
Oh, my goodness, there's glass everywhere.
All over my lovely home.
Whatever happened?
Oh, you're really not very bright, are you?
She's broken the glass in the cupboard door.
Oh, is that where there are bits of glass, like in my beautiful sofa?
My beautiful sofa, Miss Clara.
Oh, the Nutcracker Man is covered in glass as well.
Oh, well, what's one more injury when I've already got so many?
What about Mary?
Is she all right?
I'm not sure Mary deserves any sympathy from me after asking that other person into my home.
Do you mean me, Miss Gertrude?
I do indeed, Miss Farrow.
Ladies, the little girl.
We should help her.
Oh, very well.
She used to be kind to me and there was a time when she would brush my hair for hours on end.
Mary.
Mary!
Mary, can you hear us?
Where am I?
What happened?
Oh, yes, I remember.
The mice.
Where are the mice?
The sound of the breaking glass must have scared them away.
Oh, it's that dreadful seven-headed mouse monster.
It certainly is.
What does the horrible thing want?
I would appreciate a little respect.
I am the Great Mouse King, the seven-headed monarch of all mousetom.
My people are tired of having to live behind the walls and under the floors while you live in a life of luxury in your toy cupboard.
But it's not gonna be yours much longer.
The mice are taking over from now on.
This toy cupboard will belong to all mouse kind.
Never.
Why, it's that old enemy of my family, the Nutcracker.
What does he mean?
Do you know this ghastly creature?
Well, it's a long story.
There's no time to tell it now.
I order you all to leave the toy cupboard and surrender.
Brave Nutcracker, you must save my toys.
Well, I'll do my best.
Do you surrender?
No!
Then prepare to face the armies of Mouse Army!
Mouse Army!
Advance!
In that first episode of ETA Hoffman's The Nutcracker and the Mouse King, you heard Tony Robinson as the Nutcracker, Edward D'Souza as Drosselmeyer and Eric Allen as the Mouse King.
Mary was played by Angela Shafto and Fred by Blair Ford, with Sandra Clark as Mama, Oriol Smith as Miss Gertrude and Cyril Jenkins as Miss Clara.
Other parts were played by members of the cast.
The music was composed and performed by David Hewson.
The Nutcracker and the Mouse King was written for radio by Brian Sibley and directed in our Bristol studios by Peter Fawcett.
Attack the toy cover!
Attack!
Attack!
Attack!
Attack!
Attack!
Attack!
