Hey weirdos, Elena here.
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Hey weirdos, I'm Alina.
I'm Ash. And this is Mormon. it's marvin we're ourselves again honey i don't know why we went there but it felt right we tried a transatlantic thing i think almost it's like when we did the bob haired bandit and i tried so hard to be transatlanticism and i just wasn't transatlanticism you know death cap for cutie we did a whole thing yeah you know what there's a before tiktok goes away we might as well start with just nonsense insert yeah before tick tock goes away there's this comedian on there her name is carissa and i want to find her real her full name carissa she she her whole act is she's
like this uh something darling is her name and she does this like she does crowd work in a transatlantic accent in full like gown and she's just like what's your name darling like it's just like that was really good and she does the whole act like that that was good and she's fucking hilarious so so carissa go find her go find her and find out where she goes i'm gonna find her on there while we continue because so i can shout her out i'm not fully convinced that tiktok's going anywhere i don't think anybody really is yeah and if it is like i'll be like a little bit sad for probably like two days
and then i'll be like wow look at all this stuff i completed in my free time yeah right it eats up a lot of my time it's true so i don't think it's that bad of a thing in that in that scenario but no but i do feel bad for like creators who have made like a living on there well that's the thing it's been around for how many years and it's like when you've made a living off of this it's like your actual job yeah like our girl isabelle oh our girl isabelle i don't know what i'm gonna do without isabelle isabelle annalee annalee tyler michaela michaela what am i gonna do when i can't go to pato like
we had the pot i'm gonna be so sad when i can't go to pato it's uh carissa hendrix by the way carissa hendrix let me see go find her and she's so pretty she's like roast people like in the but but in like the most classy way that's my dream job i love her we kind of do that actually she's really funny so just go find her anywhere i don't know find that girl find that girl carissa hendrix um but yeah i don't know we just went with a 20s theme today yeah just kind of i don't don't even know whose idea this was maybe it was mike mikey was this your idea you mentioned it boom there it is there it
is it was our ideas um speaking of like actual regular episodes this is an actual episode but it's listener tales um so we are going to put out rodney part two rodney alkala part two on monday if you're watching this it's probably like thursday or like this came out on a thursday so we just wanted to have like a little breather after part one quick little palate cleanser yeah we're gonna get into some gnarly shit in parts two and three so this is like your um little send -off into that which is nice yeah yeah we love it yeah i picked the tails today um they are there's like sort of a theme i guess
i feel like there's a theme but without a theme yeah i did like they're right i looked for like i i searched the word gatsby i searched the creepy creepy doll and uh speakeasy i like that yeah all things that you know felt like they all make the time and even if they're not it makes sense yeah also i want to wear these gloves every day as you should also i had something really cool happen before this and i'm having trouble concentrating and i can't say what it is yet but it's awesome it is it's really cool i just have to say that and we can't say too much because i feel i give things away so easily
yeah like with my face and even like one i'll say one thing and people are like i know exactly what you're saying and i'm like i was really trying to be i was trying to be undercover there try to be coy i could never be a narc no or well i guess maybe maybe i'd be a good narc you just wouldn't be a good undercover like you couldn't be like an informant no no oh my god no i think about that all like we no i think about that a lot when we do like cases where somebody wears a wire i'm like i could never ever first of all like my IBS can I would just shit myself instantly my IBS could my IBS could not handle
that and neither could my delicate psyche because we're we're one step away from a full break I just laugh anytime I'm feeling any type of way I start laughing or smiling so I'd be so shitty remember the time that I was I can't I won't say who it is but remember the time we had to go to a funeral together and we couldn't stop laughing because I just can't handle emotions no nothing was funny it was actually very sad but we were sat together in a church pew if you can fucking picture that and we just couldn't stop laughing we couldn't and my grandpa gave a eulogy and it was so boss it's true it
was super great guy you know we were like oh god the greatest guy you know i freaking loved that guy but yeah i can't anytime to process an emotion i laugh or smile yeah it's really and i i often have to say i'm not finding this funny I'm funny I am upset like I have to tell people like I'm upset I promise yeah that's your tism too it is it's very much it's part of that and so I don't it's just so this is the only way I know how to process anything so I'm just gonna like maniacally laugh for okay which this is a good thing yeah it makes sense do you want to go first do you think that will be helpful
yeah I'll go first okay okay that's that sounds good dive in because I'm so happy oh gee morbid she's about about to dive in everybody i'm about to dive in there it is oh that was really good alicia that was good is she here we need like a little like seance table in front of us which i feel like we're dressed for oh yeah you're you're actually i feel like something about the green is giving very madame leota oh i love that is it leona or leota it's whatever you want it to be this is Is your show.
It can be what you want.
Like Trixie and Katia say.
And not yours. Exactly.
So you can make it whatever you want.
I wish we took that tagline.
I know. Like I wish we thought of it.
That's a great tagline.
Like I wish we stole that from you.
I wish we could steal it.
No, I love them. So should I do the time a ghost shoved peaches up my nose?
Yeah, that one's really funny, actually.
Just nose. I said nosed.
I'm not really sure.
I didn't even hear that you said nose.
You say whatever you want to say.
I will because it's my show.
And not yours. Just kidding.
All right. So let's get to this.
Hi there spooky gals Hi My name is Jessie Okay I was making sure I could use it I can use it I don't mind if you use it I appreciate you ladies and what not I would say all the mushy stuff But I'm not good at that Neither is this one I'm the mushiest gushiest So I'll just say you love us We love you In fact I had to say something really mushy to John the other night You did?
You know how you get that moment of feeling Overwhelmingly appreciative appreciative yeah like you're just like wow you're so lovely yeah and I get to hang with you forever yeah and so I had all these like weird like emotions about it and he happened to be upstairs doing something so I texted him and I literally said I don't know how to do this in person so deal with it and he was like that first part of the text had me done so 18 years into marriage I don't really know how to tell you how much I love you so deal with it deal with it I'm gonna text it to you but he was like he literally was like
i'm dying you're unreal sorry i had a little piece of hair and like just like one piece of hair oh that happens to me a lot it is i got it so i just didn't want you to yell at me for touching my no don't worry it's cool um so it says insert bunches of mush here lol honestly that's essentially what i did to john i love that you guys are the best and get what i mean i do i love you i appreciate you i respect you I previously sent this tale in but after rereading it due to my BFF Alyssa, you can use her name.
Thank you because I used it.
Who also loves Morbid by the way.
Thank you Alyssa. Alyssa -er.
Told me I severely spelled Ottoman wrong.
I mean that happens.
I would have done that too.
I don't spell things correct.
Yeah. I realized that in an effort to stay on topic and not get distracted a million times like I tend to do that my tale was pretty, was actually pretty short and needed more zest. Oh I love zest. We love zest, darling.
darling. We're going for the zest. However, if you want a quick one, then feel free to use the original version.
I'm not picky. I want this one.
Yeehaw. Let's get into it.
I'm from Florida, hence my yeehaw.
I was wondering. Yeehaw.
Anywho, I'm a full -time dog nanny.
That's awesome. Another dream job.
That I could fucking great.
That I could handle.
Yeah, I could do that.
My IBS could definitely take that.
And they said, yes, you could call it a pet sitter, but dog nanny sounds Sounds way cooler.
I like dog nanny. I agree.
Dog nanny. Yeah. A nanny for dogs.
Yeah. For context, back in the day, I used to groom dogs full time and give them snazzy haircuts.
I love that. Shout out to Ash.
I know it's not the same, but still, we were both some sort of hairstylist. It's also probably better, because dogs can't talk.
Yeah, and you've got to make those dogs look fresh, so it makes sense.
One thing I'm going to miss about TikTok is watching dog grooming videos.
Yes. Absolutely. When they make them look like little teddy bears.
Little teddy bears.
Little teddy bears, and they put the little bows on their hair.
Oh, I love it. it i love that back then i didn't dog nanny much since i was focused on being a dog barber but there was a family with two dogs that i would have always made time to nanny for and i have claimed the dogs as my own since then i would do that too i visit them three to five times a week i'd like to think if the doggies were to become parentless for whatever reason that they would come live with me over anyone else in the family i love how dark that thought is if their entire If my entire family died, I feel like I would get custody of them.
I feel like if for some reason their parents just weren't here anymore, then I would get those dogs.
They just like vanished off the entire earth.
I love your mind. Yeah, it's good.
I've had dogs written to me in people's wills.
That's like high praise.
That's the highest of praise, like truly.
Are you leaving me your dogs?
Damn. I mean, I trust you with them for sure.
Sure, but I wouldn't want to disrupt your cats.
I know. Because I care about those cats.
Yeah, thank you. I care about those dogs.
Yeah. We'll figure it out later.
We'll figure it out.
Off camera. That's cool.
She's not going anywhere.
Yeah, you know. Let's hope they stay alive because while I want all the dogs in the world, I already have two amazing fur babies of my own.
And if I end up with more, I may need to get a bigger house.
Yeah. Well, all righty.
For the first few years, the family mentioned above lived in a beautiful, safe -feeling house.
Well, not anymore. Uh -oh.
Last year, they moved.
the pet parent as I like to call it had mentioned that her mother who previously owned the home left behind some antique items such as vintage mirrors figurines and the scariest dolls you have ever seen all throughout the house plus the house is covered in old -timey wallpaper which isn't super relevant other than the spooky ooky vibes I love which isn't super relevant but spooky ooky I love like vintagey wallpaper in fact there's a wallpaper man at my house right now figuring out out how much wallpaper i need to order which is really badass i'm so excited it makes me want to order so much wallpaper
i love that flash forward to the first time i had a slumber party with the dogs there there was a double closet in the room i was staying in i was hearing sounds from one side of the closet throughout the night kind of like a tapping or soft banging noise no i'm a scaredy cat in general so this was a huge nope for me yeah i opened that side of the closet only to to find creepy dolls in rocking chairs specifically doll -sized rocking chairs you said in rocking chairs or and rocking in rocking chair i just pictured like dolls on one side multiple rocking chairs on the other and these are dolls in the rock
in their doll -sized rocking chairs just tiny rocking chairs ready i'm gonna look at every camera and say no no no no that's not even my camera but i'm gonna look at it and say no oh not up in here no it reminds me of ma i love that bitch i love that bitch i do love that bitch but at home in one of our hallways ma had i'm not shitting your dicks guys she had three like big like three three story cases yeah of dolls yeah Yeah.
And let me tell you, when you're like sneaking home at night after like a little...
The dolls? You sneak home at night fully sober.
You walk up the stairs in the daytime at that house fully sober.
The dolls. They're gonna eat you.
The dolls. They're coming at you.
They're staring at you.
She loves it. Oh, and I had to walk past every case to get to my room.
I think that's why...
So, obviously, I grew up in that house.
Yeah. And I grew up with those dolls.
yeah that's your mom i am not freaked out by dolls and i think it's because i spent my entire formative years being exposed to those dolls being in my life at all times i spent a lot of time being exposed to those dolls too and i i don't know i hate them i mean i don't know what it did because i think i'm just so used to them i was used to her getting dolls for different like holidays i think there's a puppy cry there is a puppy crying she wants to say hello she said like you're talking about dogs and i'm a dog hello uh that's definitely a blanche that's definitely a blanche she said i like the 1920s
my name's blanche can i wear a dress uh but yeah i'm not freaked out by dolls like dolls don't freak me out in general like obviously a scary doll like a fucking annabelle or something like that is gonna give me like the willies but like yeah dolls in general i'm just kind of like okay the word doll is losing all meaning doll Doll.
Doll. Now I'm just thinking Roald Dahl.
Yeah, but yeah, I don't like dolls.
What a journey that went on.
That's the inside of my brain for you.
Now I'm thinking Roald Dahl.
And you know what? James and the Giant Peach. Peaches.
Peaches. James and the Giant Peach is Roald Dahl, right?
Yeah. Oh, I thought you said James and the Giant Peach is a real doll, right?
And I said no, it's Roald Dahl, right?
Did you see the math going on?
Yeah, it's Roald Dahl.
Yeah, we're here. We're here.
No, it is. We're here.
We're here with You're here and we're getting back into the story.
Yeah, it connects. It connects.
With peaches here. At first, though, again, I misunderstood you.
We're not getting back into it.
I thought you said roll call.
Roll call! Mikey! Present!
I'm still big red. Yes!
All right, here we are.
I love it. After that, the closet kept opening by itself overnight.
No. I would go to sleep only to wake up with it being open and seeing the creepy dolls staring into my mother freaking soul my sister who doesn't believe in ghosts told me to compliment the dolls and ask them to chill which i think she believes in ghosts then she does because she's like you better make sure it'd be nice to them so they don't eat your soul she said which i did i told them they were very pretty but were freaking me out not sure if it helped though or if you're supposed to talk to spooky dolls in general oops after this it went on for days to the point that i needed my boyfriend
a complete skeptic to come stay with me out of fear he didn't believe any of it the closet had those accordion type doors that scrunch open he put an ottoman or ottoman i like that whatever one however you spell it footrest thingy i sure don't know how to spell it and still can't figure it out elissa thought i was trying to spell abdomen that's what i thought when i first read this tale i think it's o -t -t -o -m -a -n that's what i thought because i think it's ottoman or is that like ottoman empire who's that that's like who the fuck is who's empire it's a time period oh dude which one the ottoman empire
when was that i can't tell you i will i will claim ignorance on that i don't know what time period it was um there's also a vampire weekend song that played at our wedding called ottoman i like that song it was our cake cutting song it was mine was uh oh finish keep going sorry no you go ahead mine was i want to be loved by you just you and nobody else but you i feel like we're unhinged today we are i am feeling like i am in orbit right now technically i think aren't we all in orbit we are sober as a judge as always and i I am in orbit.
Yeah. Yeah. Orbit. Orbeat.
I am in space. Oh, the Ottoman Empire.
Oh, I thought you said.
No, no, I did think you said empire.
Did you just hear my stomach?
Yeah, I did. Actually, it was insane.
I catch on the fucking mic.
Oh, the Ottoman Empire was an absolute and constitutional monarchy that ruled over a large area of.
Oh, I remember this.
It's in like the very low numbers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The 14th.
well the 14th century to the early 20th century though I don't know a lot about it I will not claim to it's also known as the Turkish Empire I've heard of there you go okay you know all right so he put an Ottoman not the empire but at the footrest thingy in front of the closet so I would feel safe and would know that the closet wouldn't be able to open well there you go jokes on him because the next morning the other side of the closet was open he asked if I had done it to To which I said, no!
Uh -uh. No, sir. No, no, boyfriend.
No, sir. I told you this place was spooky.
It's spooky. My goodness.
Honestly, I'm glad he got spooked out, because now he believes me.
That's good. After that, I hadn't stayed in the house until a month ago.
This time I was offered to stay in a different bedroom, to which I gladly accepted.
Yes, please. There were no creepy dolls, but a few odd things.
There was an exterior house light right outside the window that would turn on and off throughout the night.
I figured it was a sensor issue, or at least that's what I tried to convince myself.
The bathroom would randomly make weird noises like weird gurgle noises that sounded like they were coming from the ceiling.
That's the ghost of me.
Just gurgling up in the ceiling.
Yes. That was me a second ago.
Yeah. Did you guys hear that?
My stomach was like...
I don't even know if we'll need to but we need to see if we can amplify that.
Yeah because I'm hungry.
Me too. Maybe just another house issue.
The flipping wall made weird banging noises off and on too but I had to pretend it was all just a coincidence anyways because duh.
It's better to avoid problems. It really is.
but then throughout the night and only at nighttime i would get an aggressive smell of peach in my nose that's nice that is really nice at first i when i was reading it i thought you were gonna say p just but yeah p wouldn't be great like urine urine uh urine but peaches peaches i'll take to it yeah not like an aroma in the room but like all the way up my nose How rude.
That is a little bit rude.
It was as if somebody actually shoved an entire ripe peach up my nostril.
No thanks, ghosty. Maybe the dogs were farting and whoever in the afterlife felt bad.
And they were like, you shouldn't smell bad because you're so sweet and you take care of these dogs.
They said, here's some peaches.
Take some peaches. Millions of peaches.
Peaches for free. Up in your nose.
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I searched for outlets with air fresheners and didn't find anything.
It kept occurring the whole stay only at random creepy times at night at this point i decided there was only one logical option i had to accept that the ghost really wanted me to know that they smelled good because what else am i gonna do yeah i'm stuck here for two weeks yeah i told the ghostie that i was just there to take care of the pups and asked it to chillax a little so that we could be you know buddies fair not sure that helped either since those occurrences kept happening over the two weeks it's safe to say that i was a little bit sleep deprived but peach ghostie never harmed me so so we're on good
terms now. Yeah, I would say so.
Anyways, I've avoided the creepy dolls at all costs since, like I said, I befriended my peachy ghost friend.
Maybe. I'm spending another week at the house now, so maybe I'll have more ghostly encounters.
Keep it weird, but not so weird that ghosts shove very fragrant peaches up your nose.
Attaching pictures of the cute puppies just for fun below, as well as scary dolls.
Also, going to add my personal fur babies because I love them so, so, so much. I could just melt.
Thanks for everything.
You guys really are the best. So are you.
I love you. oh those are scary the dolls also that scary ship captain doll is a little little much oh your puppertins wait i need to look at this look at them oh the one of them is literally smiling shut up them oh god i love puppertins wait i want to see the cat what the fuck i love puppertins yeah i don't like the captain it's like a ship captain statue yeah i don't know about that jesse i love it i love you i love elissa i love ottamans i love it all look at this we're in orbit all right we're in orbit she's not okay i'm not okay i'm gonna read listener tale was my dog possessed yes maybe the theme
is dogs the answer is yes the theme is for babies um i literally picked this listener tale because you are so gorge and so is your partner her and so are your dogs i showed it to you already oh that picture yeah that's i was like wow and i was like pick that and then i said i want to look like you in my next life it's true she did all right so this listener tale i think i can say your name the it's hot mess pooches and it says hey ladies i fucking love y 'all i fucking love you this is long as fuck some of it's adhd ramble but oh well cool we just did that for about 42 minutes yeah tail number
one and you're still here uh i did the double space large font put a pho because i'm old and did not wear my glasses as well typing this because that would have been the smart thing to do i've attached a story about the time i think my dog was possessed with a side story about how my uncle was not the circleville letter writer and how i almost got married in the rampard street murder house my life is fucking weird feel free to use my first name my last name may sound familiar and the first name is natalie natalie oh there it is i was like i literally went like this waiting i was like do it i like
what's the oh is it sue and joe and joe and that's my favorite one hold on now i need water joe and i can't do it because i'll start coughing forever i know it hurts a little bit all right my name is natalie feel free to use my name and any other names in we'll do natalie we'll do natalie oh man i don't remember exactly when i started listening to you because what the fuck is time anymore but i will say agreed you two have kept me company as i transported rescue rescue dogs all over the country for the last few years oh my goodness your podcast has helped me keep my eyes peeled as i travel thousands
of miles often only accompanied by dogs you two have taught me me a ton of lessons that have probably saved my ass fresh airs for dead people hell yeah and have helped validate my true disdain for humans i love that that's what we're here for that is what we're here for i've been meaning people are gonna people and you should know that yeah sometimes they people goods most of the time they people bad they people good so they people bad and that's why we disdain them exactly i like using disdain as a verb i like it all right i've been meaning to write for a while but as the director of a non -profit
dog rescue bitch can you get any cooler i hope you you mentioned what it is because i'll say it yeah uh anytime i would sit down and start typing i would give into exhaustion and find myself falling asleep at my keyboard i understand a recent car accident i'm sorry finally forced me to slow down and gave me the time to write to tell you how long i've been trying to get a listener tilt into you the case i was going to write to you about originally was actually covered in 2022 episode 328 whoa the circleville letter writer oh that That was one of my favorite episodes to do.
That's a wild one. That's a really interesting case.
This case is what sparked my interest in true crime.
Why, you may ask? Why?
All right. I looked it up, and I think it's Fresh Hour.
So Paul Fresh Hour was my uncle.
Some of my very first memories include visiting him in prison when I was just a young man.
When the Unsolved Mysteries episode about the case came out, my dad sat me down, and we watched together.
My family didn't talk about the case very often, but none of us believed that my uncle Paul was capable of attempted murder.
You remember that? Yeah.
He ended up getting put away in prison for like 10 years.
Damn, and that's your uncle.
And I wasn't so sure about that either, that he was actually the person.
This man would have given you the shirt off his back and was the first to ask how my dogs were at my family gatherings.
When he was found unresponsive in his car after the heart attack that eventually took his life, his trusty toy poodle Tommy was by his side.
Tommy. Tommy, the toy poodle.
I love that. I want a poodle.
My dad? What? That felt like an intrusive thought.
thought you were like i want a poodle kind of my dad it's one of those like must have poodle oh my god my dad was one of seven children and my uncle paul was my favorite after my dad i truly believe karen sue his ex -wife set him up paul served 10 years in prison to protect his son who was roped into the setup by his mom yes paul was absolutely the kind of person who would give up his own freedom for those he loved unfortunately karen sue passed away last month and has taken her secret to the grave but that's not what this listener tale is about so i'm gonna give you a short backstory without rambling
but i'm not gonna make any promises because adhd i feel that i grew up going to my dad's house in columbus ohio and my mom's house just outside of houston texas for those of you who do not know new orleans is a mere spot is a mere five hours from houston if If your mom drives like a bat out of hell.
That's crazy. I know.
I didn't realize that.
Geography. I was going to say gallgraphy.
Gallgraphy. Back in 2002.
Back in 2002, I was a pretty angsty teen.
Spoiler alert. I am now a full -fledged misanthropic elder golf.
Oh, everything you're saying, I'm just like, yep.
Yeah. As soon as I read this, I said, you speak to like me in a certain way, but you really speak to Elena.
When you just said 2002, you were just an angsty teen.
I'm like, yep. Yeah.
I was five. yeah you're it sounds like a thunderstorm yeah you're 15 you can hear it cool guys i'm hungry she hungry i'm hungry for your tales all right so miss and misanthropic elder goth and learned that my favorite musician lived close enough to talk my alcoholic mother into weekend trips and to the crescent city she would drink and gamble while i would roam the streets with friends hoping to run into the dark lord of industrial music himself do you know who that is the trent reisner is that he's min right yeah he's yeah i just i don't know i'm just the dark lord of industrial music just makes
me think of trent reisner yeah i could see that but um well am i right i don't think it ends up saying oh the city immediately owned a piece of my soul if uh if you have never been to nolans it's not like any other city you will ever visit i could go on and on about the food the jazz the drinks the art the history the best bar down the alleyway you'll You'll miss if you blink the tarot card readers in Jackson Square or the speakeasy that the vampire sent you to above the unassuming Bourbon Street Bar.
That sounds fucking awesome.
Yeah, it does. It's almost like an alternate universe, and if you are sensitive, the energy will keep you coming back.
It's like a drug if you're a weirdo who has never felt like you have had and had a home anywhere else.
Aw, I love that. Beautifully said, but made me sad.
That really is really, but you know what?
You got an Owens. I got an Owens.
as an adult i make any excuse to visit and will often wrap up wrap up my dog transport trips with a stop in my favorite city to decompress that is one of the strangest sites i have ever seen was the french quarter yes yeah one of the strangest sites i've ever seen was the french quarter late spring 2020 my boyfriend at the time had never been to new orleans and so i thought we would stop on our way back to texas from the midwest it was a literal ghost town plenty of souls but but very few were living.
Ooh, I like that. You're like very poetic.
You are very poetic.
We were able to walk through the middle of the street with our dogs as I gave him a tour of the quarter, passing by maybe three or four humans along the way.
It was surreal, but the energy of the city I love just wasn't there.
A few months later, the city had started to open back up, so we decided to visit again.
I wanted to show my now boyfriend the city I have obsessed over since I was a teen.
We will call my ex Jeff, mostly because that's his name, and he will probably shit his pants if he hears y 'all tell this story.
Hell yeah, Jeff. Mostly because that's his name.
That's a great reason to call him that.
It is. It's the perfect reason.
We found an amazing deal on a dog -friendly historic hotel right in the French Quarter, so we decided to treat ourselves after another 2 ,000 -mile trip moving dogs to homes and partner rescues Midwest. That's amazing.
I know. I always travel with a few of my own personal dogs because I have separation anxiety.
Same. So a long walk around the French Quarter was the first thing we did.
This is where I i mentioned that i'm also a professional dog trainer and behavior specialist my dogs have traveled with me all over the country and are used to staying in hotels after a long walk around the french quarter we checked out uh we checked into our hotel unloaded our bags and set up dog crates in our room we made plans to have dinner and join a haunted history walking tour i want to do that so bad that sounds i want to do that right now let's book a trip let's go jeff and i jeff his real name and I got the dog settled and walked out the hotel room to head to dinner.
I always wait outside the hotel room door to listen for my dogs to settle, but this evening that didn't happen.
Atticus. I love that.
Atticus. I love that.
Wait until you hear the next name.
My most behaved deaf boy was scratching at the door and his deaf adopted sister, Dita Von Fleas.
Atticus. Are you serious?
And Dita Von Fleas.
Dita Von Fleas is the best dog name in the history of dog names hands down like nobody else name your dog again that beats kevin way better than kevin that beats kevin valentina kevin the best uh dita von flees but dita von flees was crying in her crate no we figured they just hadn't had enough time out after a long trip and decided to take them to dinner and on the walking tour with us i'm attaching a photo of myself with the three dogs who are with us on the trip lilith dita and atticus and lilith well my tattoo's name is now an evening of perusing the french quarter in august may seem like
a lot for most dogs but these are young dalmatians and they're fucking adorable oh my god they're stupid cute they were literally bred for running miles upon miles we had dinner outside next to jackson square which is now full of artists street performers and psychics but was once where the city held their executions oh i scanned the square for my favorite tarot card reader but i didn't see her i'd been been drawn to her several years prior because of the wolves on her altar cloths oh my readings would often end with a discussion about our dogs and something she said something she had said has stuck
with me dogs with i think it's heterochromia i think it's the the eye thing two different colored eyes can see the living and the dead oh i fucking love that it for some reason it gives me be like game of thrones white walkers vibes oh my like dire wolves like oh yeah fucking love that idea yeah specifically they can see the living with their dark eye and the dead with their light eye which i think is so fucking i'm obsessed with that idea yeah oh i love that well on this trip we didn't have any dogs with heterochromia but dita's eyes are both ice blue and i wanted to see what she would say about that which that's
probably like um rare for a domination yeah i would think usually they have dark eyes right i think so yeah we finished our dinner and spent the rest of our evenings on a haunted history tour through the french quarter there were locations where the dogs seemed to be bothered by something and they definitely tried pulling us across the street upon approaching the la lori mansion but otherwise it was a normal long walk we went back to the hotel and settled for the night as we were all finally exhausted then at 3 a .m jeff woke me up telling me he thinks dita's having a seizure i come launch myself
out of bed and see her crate rocking back and forth.
He throws open the door and tries to grab her and she sinks her teeth into his hand before shooting out of her crate and under the bedside table across the room.
Holy shit. She was howling like I've never seen a dog howl before.
I reached for her and her teeth sank into my hand as she urinated.
At this point, I'm sure everyone in the hotel has heard her howls despite trying to calm her.
Her ice blue eyes locked in on the window curtains that went from the ceiling to the floor.
She launched herself across the room one more time and attempted to climb up the curtains she was in such a friend frenzy i feared that she would hit the glass with such force that she would yeet herself out the window and down three stories to i think decoud decouter street holy shit after what seemed like a half hour dita finally exhausted herself and retreated back into her crate jeff and i thought for sure we would be asked to leave the hotel but no knock came or call the next morning when we checked out no one mentioned a thing Dita had never had an episode like this before.
And four years later, she has not had another one like it, nor have I seen anything like it with any other dog.
Was my dog possessed?
Could she see the dead?
Or is she just a nutty Dalmatian?
I can go with possessed.
I think possessed. Yeah.
Especially the fact that they were kind of like acting strange while you were on the walking tour and like out of character.
I tried doing research on the hotel we stayed at, but I didn't find anything particularly damning.
The whole French Quarter is haunted if you ask me.
yeah if you don't believe in that sort of thing there are plenty of vampires witches and voodoo practitioners who may tickle your fancy there instead so fucking cool side note many years ago i was engaged like any good uh like any good golf i planned to get married in new orleans hell yeah i found a little museum on rampart street where we could have a small ceremony and celebration my ex -fiance's mom was outraged when she found out that i had put the deposit down on the rampart street murder house the zach and addie story oh my goodness yeah i didn't realize i would have been getting dressed
for my wedding in the same space where zach had dismembered his girlfriend addie before jumping to his death i didn't make the connection my god i didn't make the connection until after enduring her outrage two weeks prior to the wedding on friday october my father had a massive stroke causing us to call off the wedding long story short had i gone through my wedding i don't think i would be here today i have absolute chills i hadn't read that part earlier i just read the dog part wow whoa wow holy shit some kind of an intervention happened yeah i don't know what happened there but damn that's
crazy i'm glad that you're here yeah and i'm i'm glad that that didn't happen glad that that didn't happen and i'm sorry that you had to endure what you did yeah holy shit i'm adding a better pick of dita von fleas and some more of my dogs as well as a pick of the love of my life salem that's who that is in the picture and you guys you guys together are absolutely gorgeous literally a work of art i picked the tail because i said i literally want to look like this woman in my next life she literally did like yes like she did hand to hand to whoever my me honor i'm not a scout so i thought you were talking
about like a judge or something and i was like i think it's your honor you were like excuse me i was like did you break what happened i'd understand it because you know you're all excited and stuff i thought you guys would appreciate that my future husband named Named himself after a sassy black cat.
Not the town or the witch trials.
Obsessed. I'm obsessed.
Anywho, keep it weird. We will and we know that you will.
That's fucking awesome.
Even like on an off day.
She looks like this.
You're absurdly beautiful and just like radiate nice good energy.
You're a work of art.
And you and Salem are just like the cutest couple I've ever seen in my life.
life. Oh my god you guys are just stupid gorgeous.
Wait I gotta show you the picture of Dita.
Look at Dita. Oh Dita look at her eyes.
She does have beautiful ice blue eyes.
They're like almost white.
Yeah they're so blue.
They're gorgeous. Crazy.
All right let's see.
Should I do creepy doll listener tale another one?
That's a good one. So this one's called creepy doll creepy doll listener's tale.
This one's so good.
Hi weirdos my name is Angelica.
Yes like the rugrats you can use my name if you decide to pick this tale to read on the podcast i will simply pass away r .i .p wow that's like a normal thing to say to that but like i feel like we did the same inflection yeah we did get out of my head damn i've been a fan of for about a year and the first episodes i listened to were your albert fish ones what a way to start Babe, you stuck around after that?
Yeah, for real. Damn, I almost left after that.
I tried, and they said, you're contracted.
They said no. We both said, okay, that was it.
I listened to it at the gym and was cackling at all your jokes so hard that my husband stopped his workout and wanted to know what I was listening to.
When I told him this podcast about Albert Fish, he looked horrified.
He said, qualum? When I reassured him it was funny, not because of what he did, but because of your guys' absolute roast of this man.
He understood and became interested in the podcast Side note I'm not a huge true crime junkie Since I already know how horrendous people can be And it makes me sad Same Shout out to my fellow social workers Oh yeah you definitely know how horrible people can be But I did take a serial killers course In Creek Community College And learned a lot about them It was interesting to say the least However I'm more impressed with y 'all's interpretations and retellings I've learned so much that I think I may have to scrub my brain clean and start fresh but like in a good way because I love you.
Yeah I try to do that a lot too.
Yeah I'll shut the fuck up now but please know I absolutely adore you both and thank you for always making me laugh and for keeping it weird. This year has been rough a rough one and I'm only 25.
And what year was this?
25 was one of my worst years.
Oh it's 2024 so yeah it was a shitty year.
Yeah. And I'm only 25.
Seriously if things keep on this trajectory I'm not sure I'll make it very far.
You will. Yeah this is going to be a better year.
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Do things typically get better or worse?
But for reals, listening to you guys helps distract me from the fuckery that is life i am currently unemployed shout out to having a mentee bee and writing this story has filled me i filled up a lot of my time and for that i am grateful for the opportunity even if it is not selected wow oh girl it's selected it elena broke i literally broke while saying it she's so elected sorry for any time did you hear that neither of you reacted like am i dina von fleas what the fuck mom that's not her never mind she's like an old man muppet like an old man muppet like um marley and marley marley and marley
that's a banger yeah i i didn't like the muppets for a long time come at me bro confession time i know my mother -in -law was really pissed about it but we watched the uh what's the big christmas carol i was so against watching it for a long time but it's drew's favorite movie so i was like i have to it slaps it slaps michael kane had no business going as hard as he goes in that he didn't he is he's top notch yeah no that's a good movie yeah it's fucking awesome i would i feel um remiss yeah right as you should yeah anyway though back to your story at 25 sucked balls yeah 24 and 25 were fucking
shit it's tough 26 got better because i got engaged and then 27 and 28 have been fun so i think the closer that I think 25 is, like, a hard point in life because you're, like, in the middle.
Yeah. And I think friends get weird at that point in time.
Yeah. And I think the closer you get to 30.
Yeah. When you get into your 30s, I feel like it starts being awesome.
Coasting. Yeah. Like, I feel like the closer I got to 30 was, like, A+.
You figure it out more.
I just spent everywhere.
I had my twins at 30.
Yeah. So it was, like, the beginning of, like, awesomeness.
Yeah. I think. Yeah.
I think the closer you get to, like, making your own family or, like, even, like, you know, getting married or anything like that.
and like choosing your own space yeah it's you get happier to me my 20s are overrated yeah i think they are to me in my opinion maybe your 20s are awesome and like for that i mean good for you i haven't heard anyone ever say that no i've heard everybody be like fuck my 20s i think your 20s are just like a redo of your teens but like with a little more information yeah and then your 30s are like wow we gotta we gotta reel it in we gotta like overhaul this whole thing yeah yeah Yeah.
So it's going to be good.
Yeah. So attached is a double -spaced pedophilic and word document in Times New Roman size 14 font, documenting the time my dad found old dolls hidden inside of a wall.
Damn. As in, to the windows, to the walls.
I have attached photos as well for viewing pleasure.
I'm breaking again.
Sorry in advance if they give you the creeps.
They seem to have that effect on people.
I hope it's not too long and not too boring.
Keep it weird and maybe don't look at these photos after dark.
Much love, Angelica.
It brings viewing displeasure but like in a fun way Also the name of this listener tale is fucking top notch To the walls To the sweat drip down my dolls It is To the windows, to the walls To the sweat drip down my dolls Balls.
Love it. Amazing. You're an icon.
A little background may be helpful before we get into the story.
My father does home improvement and often has to demo houses.
He gets to tear down walls, break shit, and have a good time doing it.
That would also be a fun job.
I literally paid to do that once.
Yeah, it's called a rage room.
Hell yeah, and I want to do it again.
We should. During this process, sometimes he gets lucky and finds treasures.
Let me tell you, rich people love to throw away perfectly good shit all the time.
We got a $3 ,000 new stove for our home Because said rich people wanted to throw it in a dumpster.
Damn. Why the fuck are you throwing out a perfectly good fucking stove?
Donate that shit. Anyway, my dad has found some great things along the way and usually passes these things to me.
He's given me books, CDs, records, antiques, and housewares.
On one occasion, he brought home 10 trash bags full of vintage clothing, including one deceased woman's wedding dress and her mother's wedding dress from the 1920s.
Huh? That's why I picked this one.
Was it mine? it wasn't i'm not from the 1920s uh it's like thrifting but i don't need to do any work or spend any money well my dad has many interesting stories and has one of the most chaotic lives i know this story is not really about him although he would love it if it were he would fill up an entire episode of listener tales just telling you about the past few years of his life but alas this is a story about the time my dad found a case of dolls inside of a wall yeah my dad was demoing a house somewhere in Baltimore.
It had already been vacated.
We know nothing of the previous owners.
And the new owners had asked my dad to break down a few walls for a new project.
Piece of cake. My dad does this all the time.
As he's doing his thing, probably while listening to Bruce Springsteen, he could see something hidden, hiding inside the wall.
My dad has seen a lot of shit in his day, but nothing like this.
He starts to rip away the wall and what he found shook him.
It's a handmade case with a plexiglass front with some tiny, creepy -ass looking dolls inside each doll was zip tied to a wooden board with holes in it why of attached photos why she has attached isn't that the scariest shit you've ever seen why are they they're zip tied like like by the neck yeah yeah another weirder shit you ever i don't like it i don't love it and they're all different little creepy dolls like some of our baby dolls yeah wait till you find I know what they are.
I don't like these at all.
Spooky ooky ooky. Holy shit.
He just found that on a wall.
Yeah, there's a lot going on there.
I mean, they're kind of cute in a creepy way, right?
No. No. Wrong. Wrong.
Obviously, when my dad found these little fuckers, he thought, what the fuck?
My weird -ass daughter will love this shit.
That would be Papa's react.
He would burn those two.
100%. I sat in the living room with him as he recounted his tale.
He was sure that they were haunted because why else were they buried in someone's wall?
That's the thing. I thought they were a little creepy but overall endearing and i was more so curious of the origins of the dolls me too i'm curious of the origins i don't find them endearing though i also found it interesting they were zip tied by their necks to the board same to keep them for there for viewing or to contain them from committing doll acts of evil we will never know i think the latter yeah they've been zip tied and secured behind the plexiglass for as long as i have had them and i would be lying if i said i was not at least a little bit scared of the idea of releasing them from their
habitat i don't fear fear that they maybe maybe the case has been blessed or whatever and opening it would unleash some little doll demons just like in the movies and i'm not about to be the dumb bitch who dies from her mistake good for you man see if they're smart right if they do decide to one day become haunted i like that they like they'll just be like dormant and then they'll just become haunted someday they reserve that right yeah oh thank you y 'all will absolutely be the first to know if i am still alive to tell the tale hell yeah brother thank you hell yeah that's an honor rosier that's
It's an honor. It is.
I also want to share that we moved recently and the movers refused to move them to our new home.
They were a little creeped out by them.
That's actually hilarious.
I wish I was a fly on the wall for that conversation.
Like they just go in the other room.
They're like, no, dude, I'm not moving.
The other one's like, I'm not touching it either.
I'm not doing that.
This is kind of part of your job.
Like, what are we supposed to tell them?
They just go to you.
We're supposed to be grown adults.
Why are we touching the dolls?
I'm not touching the dolls.
Like I can hear it in my head.
I guess so. Like I can hear it.
I liked your bit. I'm going to write a whole script out.
just the conversation about the dolls now on my search to understand more i came across a group on facebook that is specifically for dolls and doll collecting oh shit i just want to say that those guys are on it and very good at what they do as soon as i put shout out to that group hey as a group as soon as i posted the dolls people went crazy and i had multiple offers in my inbox apparently these things are worse worth something besides just nightmares from what i could gather the dolls inside are considered penny dolls during world war ii soldiers would buy them for their children and bring
them home to the u .s they are rare and very sought after by doll lovers and collectors the dolls likely have real human hair nothing i don't want to know where they got the hair and hope to never find out given what was going on in the world during that time that's exactly where what i was thinking yeah no thank you you can tell by looking at them that someone took great care to make the dolls as detailed as possible maybe the person who i don't know hid them in the walls still very sus knew they were valuable and wanted to preserve them and keep them away from the sunlight or maybe they were fucking
terrified of them yeah but i don't if i was so scared of something i don't think i'd put it in my wall no so it can just like breed contempt for me in there i don't want that i don't want you are a writer i do not want that maybe the original owner tried to get rid of them but each time they threw them away they reappeared on the person's doorstep like that creepy ouija board in that one listener's tale i hate that i think that's what happened so they put them in the wall i'm not sure what the doll's origin story is but i think we can all agree that hiding them in your wall is a bit strange i
think it's funny i think it's kind of funny i think it's a practical joke i think they were blessed because they were haunted and probably ruining the original owner's life and they were told to put it in the wall so that they would never be found probably and disturbed and now they've been disturbed disturbed i feel like you if you don't want them to be disturbed though you'd like bury them in the backyard but that's hard because there's a lot of them it's big putting them in a wall is just like putting something in a wall is like tough though you gotta like cut the wall well that's the other
thing that's a lot that's why a practical joke that's pretty intense practice oh i will commit to a practical i mean samesies but how many people will do that pull you know how many let's see would you would you open your wall as a practical joke i just thought of jasper her on tiktok when she's like who wants buffalo chicken wings raise your hand what was the first one if you want was it mozzarella sticks i think it was you want mozzarella raise your hand buffalo chicken fingers my dad gave these dolls to me when i was around 18 and i'm 25 now i live with my My husband, cat, and dog Luna.
Pictures attached. I heard you guys were into that kind of thing.
We are. We love animals.
The dolls hang out in my basement because my husband is thoroughly freaked out by them, despite my attempts to reassure him.
I would love to display them somewhere as a conversation piece, but that's unlikely to ever happen.
Here's what I want you to do.
I want you to make them into a coffee table with the plexiglass being the top of it.
That's a conversation.
That is such a good idea.
Do it. Tell your husband we sent you.
It's two things. It's such a good idea.
And it's also something that a weird couple would propose to do on Flea Market Flip.
Yes, absolutely. Side note, I used to be super afraid of dolls when I was younger.
I blame this on my aunt, who decided to place her super realistic toddler doll in her hallway with a knife in its hand when I was a child.
Yeah, that's her fault.
That's her fault. We'll fight her if you want.
That's her fault. We can fight her.
Yeah, a real knife from her kitchen.
She got a kick out of that.
Thankfully, I'm now a a huge horror fan and love everything spooky and scary and funny enough i fucking love dolls now really the only thing that can truly terrify me are giants and i am betting and pray whoever will fucking listen to whoever will fucking listen that they are not real i also don't like giant things you don't you she doesn't like giants you don't like giant things or giants like i don't want like like i mean like you know the ogre sort of yeah yeah like the earth giants from frozen frozen that would scare the shit out of me yeah that would be fucked up i don't like that at all
well they could just like squish you yeah i don't like it i can pretty much handle anything scary but when it comes to giants a line is crossed and if they ever do turn out to be real i will exit this life before things get too spicy just kidding just kidding just kidding i like how niche that is anyway i will keep these dolls probably forever all jokes aside the history and craftsmanship are incredible i know i sound like a huge weirdo but hey we all have our things You're not weird. Now that I've given you some spookies, I need to give you some giggles.
I also included a photo of my Princess Diana rip doll that my mother got me for a few years ago.
I was convinced for years that I was related to her and that she would rescue me to be a princess with her.
I love that for you.
I do too. Then I found out that she was very dead and that I was not a princess.
Anyways, my husband has convinced me that this is not...
It's not Princess Diana.
It's Owen Wilson wearing a dress.
yes he's not wrong you might be right he might be right can i get a wow in your best owen wilson voice i don't know wow is that good randomly the other night we were at a hotel and i woke up at 3 a .m to owen wilson on the tv and i was like what the fuck is this and then i saw j -lo and i was like am i what hello they were in like a weird movie together other recently really yeah she's like a pop star and she's like dating some i think she's dating bad bunny i think i saw clips of this and it looked insane i woke up at 3 a .m and i was just like that's a fever dream i watched that is i watched like
15 minutes of it oh my god you showed me little luna aka luna tuna luna tuna i'm obsessed with luna tuna you guys are cute you guys are adorable give me luna tuna yeah immediately wait also you have to put those in your wall when you're when like the time is nigh luna tuna no i'm just kidding no the dolls yes but the dolls in your wall like if you know you're gonna make an exit from the coil when you're like your walls hit my microphone not anytime soon but like when you know you're gonna when you're like 98 yeah like when you feel like you're about to shuffle off this mortal coil just shove them
in your walls just do a quick home project yeah just call a quick contractor but do it early just call Follow him up and say, I got a job for you.
I need you to hide these dolls in my walls.
I found these dolls in a wall when my dad did when I was a girl.
Develop an accent, okay, before you do this.
Workshop it, okay? Yeah, you'll get there.
You got it. You have time.
Okay. Luna Tuna for life.
Luna Tuna. Luna Tuna.
I don't know why I sang it, but I did.
You sing lots of things.
I like it. It's true, I do.
It's true, I do. It's true.
That sounds like a Nana Bob song from The Rewatcher.
Go listen to The Rewatcher.
Let me take a drink of my water.
I think we could probably finish on this.
This one is Listener Tales.
Predicting Death is my Sixth Sense.
Oh, fuck yeah. Let's go.
Yeah. It says, Hi, Deb Deb.
Oh, you too, Asher and Alina.
Oh, hey. I love you, weirdos, and hope you read this on the pod.
Well, here we are. It is a terrifying yet interesting experience, and I haven't heard a listener tell like it.
So I hope it stands out.
To sweeten the deal, there's a picture of a puppy and a baby.
You guys know. You guys just know.
Included is a 14 point double spaced pot of fur.
And this is actually my second time submitting because I sent it to the wrong email.
I really want to know who got that email.
I also want to know that.
Reading time is approximately 15 minutes and 15 seconds, but not unlike two weirdos I know, I stumble on words a lot.
Damn. Yeah, a dubious.
And this is from Millie.
Millie! The biggest and most vivacious hello to Ash, Elena, and Deb Deb.
Vivacious. Vivacious.
Bodacious. My name is Millie.
Use it, bitch. I will, Millie.
See attached a photo of moi simply because when I read, I love, I always love a face for context.
She's gorgeous. Oh, Millie.
So pretty. You, that face card, girl.
Fuck it up. Fuck it up.
Damn. The mug never declines.
Millie. I know what you're thinking.
Are you a 5 '11 thick -a -cuck -a -cuck -a -cuck indigenous woman with a bodacious booty?
That's literally what I was thinking.
Yes, I am. Thank you for answering that.
It's giving, it's giving everything.
It's giving all the things I need.
I love it I'm a relatively new listener my mouth just made a gross noise so I'm gonna say that again I am a relatively new listener who started her morbid journey in August of 2022 however I'm quickly catching up to all of the episodes I started at the most recent and I'm working my way backwards which is apparently not what the normal is but you know what it is it's what we suggest and we actually suggest that you stop at a certain point and never listen to the early ones yes in fact that we were talking about this the other day that's actually really funny yeah that That we were like, when everyone,
somebody says they're new to the pod, we're like, are you starting from the beginning?
Did you listen to the first episode?
Are you still here?
Like, go from newest to oldest so you can appreciate us later.
I still go off on a tangent, obviously, but the tangents that my ass would go off on, it was a different time.
I think I was like, was I like 22 when we started this?
You were young. Yeah, I was so fucking annoying.
You were young and...
I'm still pretty annoying, but I own it.
I was annoying then, too.
And I'm, yeah, I'm still annoying.
Let's be annoying together.
forever forever oh that was a good one it was we didn't cheers never mind i was gonna say did we but we did but we didn't even we went why did i forget instantly are you a witch are you a wizard oh god all right again we're like we don't go on tangents anymore we never go on tangents everyone's like this has been six hours long all right back to millie's meal like mail we're kind of hungry i think we are i have tacos waiting for me i have um like a slaw that i made this law with some rotis chick you know what time it is it's time for a fresh approach to dog food and that's where the the farmer's
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Sidney and Blanche are eating the Farmer's Dog right now, and we absolutely love it.
What's really fun is each packet has their name on it, so it says Blanche's food, Sidney's food, which is just fun.
They love it. They can't read, but I kind of pretend that they do.
Maybe they can. Maybe they can.
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just go to thefarmersdog .com slash morbid to get 50 % off.
That's thefarmersdog .com slash morbid.
So work your way backwards and stop at a certain point.
However, I'm the farthest. I'm the furthest. I'm the fjord. I'm on the fjord. I'm farthest. Don't start with the fjord because then i'll go on a tangent to conan oh he has a song however i'm the farthest thing away from normal so it's incredibly fitting i'm an english major so if there are any grammatical errors feel free to call my ass out i'll call the police whoa it escalated before we get into the gushing i want to give a well -deserved shout out to the divine individual who started my unhealthy obsession your now second biggest fan ashley little ashley little she's like me but little i know
you two love the art of making others defecate themselves so please use her full name because she will take a monstrous giddy dump in her jeans ashley little ashley just took a dump this is her photo this is her photo oh ashley you're adorable she's gludge she's big gludge yeah okay gushing time i absolutely adore you too and i hate people so that says a lot oh my god you are my people and we hate people too yeah you've made your way into being a daily part of my life and when i'm driving to and from work and listen to you on my hour -long commute it feels like i have I have the two coolest bitches
behind me in the backseat, bitch, you, who are constantly almost responsible for my untimely demise as I find myself repeatedly swerving after a laughing fit.
Or nor. One time you made me laugh so hard when talking about dick cheese that I snotted all over myself and almost died running off the road trying to find a Kleenex. Don't do that, you two say.
But if my end includes snot running down my face and tears in my eyes from hysterical laughter about dick cheese, that sounds like a good way to go.
Who are we? Crazy. Who are we?
we're just literally talk about we're literally so random uh segueing to the tale with death this is about a few yet far too many times that i have predicted death this is cray by the way i'm already sporting doo -doo drawers and i don't even know if you read this on the pod yet so if i hear you reading this then my pants are already off and on fire i love it i live in a very rural town in New Brunswick, Canada.
I'm talking I graduated with 12 people rural.
Holy shit. I thought other people's schools were small.
Damn. However, to begin this story, we set the scene in the big city of Brampton, Ontario.
Brampton is about a half hour from Toronto and is way too big for my liking.
I graced the lives of my parents by making my glorious entrance into this hellhole we call the world on April 4th, 2000.
That's right, Ash. I'm an airy sun and moon and my my rising is Capricorn.
I see you, Elena. Oh, hell yeah.
Double Aries. You are fiery as fuck.
I married an Aries.
And Capricorn, even though Capricorn is an earth sign, I feel like they're like pretty scrappy.
Yeah. You're probably scrappy.
Yeah, you're scrappy as fuck.
And I love that about you.
I get along really well with Aries and Capricorn.
Same. Yeah. Mom and dad, John and Elena.
Yeah. So make your own most likely accurate assumptions.
I did. We did. My parents divorced a few years after my birth, just in 2004.
for but don't be sorry it was for the best this is hilarious my dad found himself in the awkward situation of accidentally falling into women's vahinas and my mother was tired of his quote unquote slip ups fast forward to 2006 that's a great way to describe that that's somebody who has healed yeah you've healed fast forward to 2006 i'm six years old and my dad's living in brampton with another woman who i'm glad to say he's no longer with she was a very angry italian woman who was a bit hard on the noggin or maybe she wasn't angry and she just spoke in a perpetual scream i'm not really sure that's
a lot i was playing with polly pockets alone in my room ash gets it when i had a feeling it made me stop and pause with every strand on my of hair on my little body standing straight in the air as if i were hanging upside down this feeling and the facial expression i would have worn is comparable i don't know why i said it like that comparable to someone who is who horrifically realized that their fart had not in fact been a fart I can't quite describe the feeling but it was as if a thousand dementors had entered the room surrounded me and then simultaneously began sucking my soul out of my body
they are the worst part of prison you know Michael Scott did you get that they are that's prison Mike I don't watch the office don't yell at me you gotta watch it man maybe prison Mike uh I didn't have a vision more like an awareness that my great -grandfather who was in perfect health was going to die oh I walked around with this weight for the entire day asking six -year -old yeah oh that's like one of your babes oh asking my dad if he had been talking to grandpa he said no that he hadn't that day but he just spoke with him in the week before and he asked why i was wondering no reason i replied
kicking my feet together and avoiding eye contact i was just wondering this feeling i remember was not one i wanted to share and kept and it kept me up most of the night i laid in bed until sleep found me in the early hours of the morning and i arose to to my dad standing on standing at my door looking forlorn and also suspicious grandpa passed away last night he said hesitantly his tone was a mix of grief and suspicion did this man think my small fragile and incapable body could walk a two -hour drive in the middle of the night and somehow unalive my grandfather like come on i remember being heartbroken
not only because i had lost someone important to me my first encounter with death as well but because i also felt responsible responsible I knew it was gonna happen but I said nothing because as a child my thoughts feelings and intuitions were typically dismissed oh relatable that makes me sad for you I know the memory stuck with me for a while until it began to fade as the years went on I had forgotten about the feeling and what it felt like I resumed my life and paid it no mind until I was 14 I had my laptop going with karaoke songs as I was home alone and aspired to be a famous singer at the time
hell yeah typically speaking though in order to be famous you have to be like good at singing which i was not think i mean do you it's subjective it's 2025 now yeah you don't really have to be good much anymore think the demon cat from pet cemetery being shook around and then thrown at a wall love that that's the most accurate description of my singing voice even to this day right in the middle of the ear piercing belt of the chorus to rolling in the deep it stopped i stopped wait i took a vocal class once and it was rolling in the deep and i thought i slayed that shit and then i got home and i
recorded myself and i never went back to voice acting and uh voice lessons again i love i said teacher jamie he said i did not roll i'm sorry i said autotune would never help this uh so i stopped it reminded me of raven from that so raven when she'd get a vision the same feeling i had ejected from my homunculus yeah homunculus yeah i'd return with a vengeance with one major difference the person it surrounded this time it was my grandmother on my mom's side ruby who i would later name my daughter after and this is is ruby and she's so fucking cute the pigtails get the fuck out of here with that kid
i can't that's a cute ass kid i can't ruby i can't she's so fucking cute i love her i know and look she's kind of like judging whoever she's looking at she's like she's got like that eyebrow action like her mom is a double aries i'm impressed well for her grandmother ruby was the and i this reminds me of this lady judy i used to live with who i fucking loved so much my mother ruby Yeah.
She was a kind woman who would always be found drinking diet Pepsi from a vintage floral glass and watching Judge Judy.
Well, she'd have it on the TV, but she'd be talking so much through it that you could not understand what was happening.
Love that. And then she'd look at anyone with her and go, what's happening?
I regret not spending much time with her in my teen years as I was caught up in school, sports, boys and video games, but I unfortunately did not classify seeing my grandparents as fun.
So when I had this feeling, I panicked.
I wanted to call my mom and tell her but then how would she see me if if ruby did die would she see me as in a different light a freak possessed by the devil damn overly religious white women i decided to let it go and hope that i wasn't right but that night at 3 a .m my grandmother was taken by ambulance and passed in the hospital i know i'm sorry i went home and looked in the mirror like someone in a movie not even sure of who i was seeing i screamed what the fuck which was a big deal because i i didn't say a single swear word until i was 17 whoa and i've progressed so much now that i'm convinced
my child will think her name is fuck i love how you write so hard the feeling of confusion dread and fear enveloped my body like a spicy blanket a spiky blanket i like a spicy blanket i like them personally i still refuse to share my curse with anyone and again it went dormant for years to come 2018 is when it returned yet again my ex -boyfriend we ended on good terms don't worry oh good i love that because we never hear that i know rarely uh my ex -boyfriend and i were living in my in our first apartment i was in my first year of university and i was sat at my makeup station one morning putting
on some semblance of a falsified excited face for the day being in university i needed all the help i could get with the bags under my eyes and permanent look of depression that encapsulated my face encapsulated my face then spoiler alert it hit the feeling though this time would be slightly different from the previous two this time it wasn't someone that was directly related to me it was my boyfriend's grandfather huh the other difference was how quickly it happened the other two times were at least a 12 -hour span between the feeling and death this time i had the feeling cooked in it for about five
minutes and then my boyfriend called me my heart fucking sank he said papa didn't wake up from his sleep this morning oh i had to force myself to pretend to act shocked though it was was earlier than expected i still knew it was coming is he dead i asked with a fake surprise no i think it's just diabetic coma he'll probably be fine he answered first of all who the fuck calls someone and says so so and so didn't wake up from their sleep just being like casually they're fine though he'll probably be fine like what that's probably fine that's not how you tell someone that also like probably just
a diabetic coma it's like oh just that little thing oh you know yeah anyways i didn't dare tell him what i knew and i was also hoping that i was going to to be wrong this time his grandfather was a pure and kind soul he was in his late 80s still chopping wood cooking dancing and living his life we'd go over all the time and play skip bow and he'd get so he'd get so zoned out we'd have to yell his name 30 times to snap him out of it oh my turn he'd shout oh my god i love him that's so sweet i drove to the hospital to meet with them and we went to the room he was in once the family was rounded up
the doctor came over and broke the news broke the news he had a brain bleed he said more forcefully than i would have liked Well, that happens a lot.
Yeah, it's very clinical.
Yeah. He's being kept alive by the machines, but once we unhook him, I don't expect him to live long after.
I felt helpless. So many loved ones I knew would die, and I could do nothing but sit back and wait.
That must be so hard. Yeah, that's tough.
Yeah. Nothing I could have done could have prevented these deaths, yet I was burdened with the knowledge of the inevitable.
That's exactly what it is.
That's a burden. Yeah, it is a burden.
Yeah. These first three death predictions would soon prove themselves to be the easiest that I would have to encounter.
I had eventually split from my ex and was living the single life.
We were together since I was 14, and I was now 20 and lost. No sense of an identity, an introvert with one friend, and my time was mostly taken up by school and work.
I felt confused as to the next steps to take.
Then a guy messaged me on Facebook.
To protect his identity, since his name is incredibly unique, we'll call him Fred.
Fred. Fred. He reminds me of, hey, it's Fred.
Remember that guy? Yeah.
Fred started chatting with me and flirting, but in a kind, genuine, and respectful way.
I learned he was from India and he was here for school.
He was incredibly gifted with humor, intelligence, perseverance, and sheer willpower.
He went to the same university as I did and we hit it off right away.
However, just as friends as I was not ready for another relationship.
We spent time together and I learned how fascinating of a human he was.
He was in boarding school in India and was in a gang in his teen years.
He survived being stabbed and got out of that place in his life.
his family also owned a tiger a tiger his name was timothy like a whole ass tiger a tiger named timothy yeah holy shit they rescued and rehabilitated him how much cooler can he get not much he was always very kind and i enjoyed the time we spent together we were inseparable friends for a few months when he moved here he turned his life around got heavy into the gym and then excelled even more at academics he got a mocha a mocha cycle he got a mocha cycle he got know think you're right of your laugh it's crazy he got a motor cycle and would venture around on it all the time he was also an incredibly
talented painter he cracked jokes that would make me laugh so hard i cried he said all the strange indian men that have probably messaged you before and yet i had the charm to get your attention however his tale would end like the rest one day i was sitting in my room alone thoughts to myself when it came the feeling the dread no i screamed to whatever it was not him it horrified me i was so scared and helpless and that's when fred messaged me and told me he was going cliff jumping with his friend oh this will eat me alive forever but i said okay be safe i thought once again fate would change
he was going with someone which meant that he would be safe i thought i was just in my head about this one he's 23 there's no way anything could happen to him you're indestructible when you're 23 right wrong the next day i woke up and and I realized I hadn't heard from him.
No text, no call since 3 p .m. the previous day.
I called, no answer.
I texted. I called again.
That's when I messaged the friends that he was with.
Can you meet me, she asked.
I agreed, and she broke the news.
His death was classified as a drowning.
She said he hit the water and started flailing.
She ran down to the bottom and tried to bring him in, but he was panicking and was bringing her down into the water.
She got back Ugh. That's brutal.
That's awful. It's not your fault.
And you don't want to mess with fate.
you know yeah and you're it's hard to believe that you know when these things are happening so you're probably second guessing it exactly i would stay up at night crying and apologizing to him someone with so much light so much potential and purpose gone that is until i went to a medium and she assured me that my gift was not just in my head and even if i begged him not to go he still would have went that helped a little bit yeah the last prediction was the strangest and most haunting of them all trigger warning for suicide here i was at work i'm a a waitress and i work in a small chain restaurant
just in atlantic canada the place was dead and i was wandering around searching for things to do when i got the feeling but it wasn't just a feeling this time it was a vision too i got this overwhelming all -encompassing sense of sorrow depression and hopelessness i was in a first person perspective and went into my room though similar to how dreams work it wasn't actually my room in reality but in this vision it was mine and I locked the door.
I then grabbed gasoline, poured it on myself, and lit myself on fire.
Holy shit. But I wasn't anyone I knew, which was the strangest thing.
I had thought it was weird and definitely concerning, but it wasn't anyone I was familiar with.
Each one of my previous womp feelings, I knew the person I was referring to.
I shook it off. The next day, I was on social media and read something on the news.
At the exact same time I had a vision, a young guy a few towns over went into his room locked the door poured gas on himself and set himself on fire he did not survive i have chills all over my arm i was in shock i didn't know him and this was also completely different from my other experiences i felt so afraid for those i felt so afraid for so long these would keep happening but that was a few years ago and they seem to have stopped i'd like to think that they're gone forever but i refuse to let my guard down because that's when death will sneak up on me like a fox with an unsuspecting squirrel
so until then death but i'll be waiting for you thank you ladies for reading my tale if you did and if this is on the podcast i will never shut up about it i hope you ladies enjoy the rest of your day week month life year etc and i can't wait to continue to keep up with your journeys and see life see where life takes you oh elena i read your book and i absolutely adored it thank you i took a hiatus from casual reading after life got incredibly busy this is the best compliment and your book brought me back to the bookworm I used to be.
Oh, that's literally my favorite compliment ever.
So thank you for that and I cannot wait for the second one.
Hell yeah. Ash, that's me.
I'm anxiously waiting for the pictures of your and Drew's wedding day and I'm so happy you have such a beautiful human to love and to love you because you both deserve that and more.
Drew is a beautiful human.
Thank you. He's the most beautiful human I know.
He's so lovely. It's ridiculous.
I don't know how I got him.
We love a Drew here.
I love him so much. I just want to punch him.
Just with love. Right in the kisser.
until then keep it weird but maybe not this weird millie but here's a picture of my dog stanley because why not stanley he's just like oh my god i'm obsessed with stanley i love him so much he's doing like the meg the stallion yeah good job i'm so proud of you i'm learning things oh my goodness millie that was a fucking harrowing tale haunting like harrowing but you wrote it so well that it was i just it was fascinating these were so good they were so good i have tacos i have slaw and chicken and chicken and chicken chicken this was amazing this was so much fun i feel like this is the most fun
i've had on yeah this was a lot of fun yeah i think we're getting more comfortable being on camera definitely yeah i'm not gonna do it that much more but no we're gonna keep it like this yeah i said don't get your hopes up don't get your hopes up don't but we'll do we'll do this on our tails yeah for sure we'll do this we'll keep doing that we'll do it um and until then we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you predict death definitely keep it like i mean keep it that weird it's kind of interesting uh definitely keep it so weird that you cut a hole in your
wall and you had some creepy ass dolls in there oh yeah i have to open the rest because i don't have a memory due to 15 years of my life um oh keep it so weird that as a ghost you shove peaches up people's noses don't keep it so weird that your dog gets possessed but that wasn't your fault obviously keep it so weird that you run a non -profit for dogs that's fucking absolutely incredible yes and I think I got all of them yeah just keep it weird keep it the weirdest so weird see you next Monday you buttheads © BF -WATCH TV 2021 If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining
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