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Hey, Weirdos, I'm Ash and I'm Alina.
This is morbid. It's morbid.
Just kidding. It's special.
I'm just a sad clown.
I'm being sad. A sad clown.
I'm a sad, sad, squirrel clown.
And a lot of you probably know who I am.
But if you don't, who are you?
I'm the lead singer.
I'm a mama emeritus.
Oh, honey, I love it.
Yeah, I'm mama. I decided to keep the high pony.
The high pony mama.
You know, I did keep the fuck you.
It's Halloween, y 'all.
I can't move too much because then my hat teeters and I can't move my face.
And also, I can't laugh really well.
So this is going to be an adventure.
It was kind of awesome because Ash laughed earlier and she went.
Oh, like a scary clown.
Well, so there you go.
Well, it's also we're getting used to being like we don't film a lot.
No, this is an experience.
Maybe we should start maybe like once a week.
We should just get into a wild costume and just like start.
I think for listener tales, we should just be in costume.
I kind of love that idea and just film our listener tales because we can be silly goofy with those.
Yeah, you know, I think that would be really what do you guys think I'm into it.
I heard you say you're into it, so maybe we should do that.
I'm trying to think of something to clown me like what do you guys think?
I don't think you're supposed to talk while you mine, but I don't think so.
But that might be the whole purpose of my.
Well, I'm not a mime.
All right. I'm a freaking clown.
It's true. But you know what?
It's listener tales today.
It's Halloween. It's Halloween.
A few of you guessed right, too, because I posted a photo with my freaky eye, I didn't hopefully you can see.
Well, I didn't even post a teaser.
And a lot of people guess mine.
Somebody thought I was David Bowie and I was valid.
Well, next listener tales maybe you should be.
You were him from Labyrinth before.
Yeah, now I needed to be another era Ziggy.
Yeah, he started. That would be a fun one.
And then I could be like a famous rocker.
Oh, the gears are turning.
I'm just I have a theme of famous rockers.
Yeah, I like that. Also, happy Halloween because it's legit Halloween right now.
It's Halloween. It's not Halloween when we recorded this.
But we're in the Halloween spirit.
You better believe we stay in the Halloween.
So it's Halloween now.
Yeah, where you are.
It's Halloween where you are in the future and in the past.
It's not Halloween yet, but it's Halloween every day in our hearts.
So it's true. Here we are.
It is. And that's why we're going to do this more often.
But it's listener tales.
We're going to do some Halloween themed listener tales.
And of course, this is why we decided to make this a fun spooky event that I think we're going to do all the time.
I think it's going to be great, but let's get to the tales.
It's listener tales.
Brought to you by you for you from you and all about you.
Let's go. All right.
Well, the first one was written specifically for me.
You didn't say that, but I decided it was.
And this is from Kara and it's fine to use their name.
And it says a shadow man shook some ass on the stairs.
As soon as we saw this one, I was like, that's for us.
I said, thank you. That is for Ash.
All right. So let's start off by saying, I'm not sure if my house, 101 years old, built during prohibition is actually haunted or just something, something that things pass through, I have distinct memories during my childhood of blind shooting closed on their own and then periods of time where things
were normal. The biggest and spookiest set of ghostly happenings happened about four years ago during my senior year of high school, right around Halloween.
Halloween throughout October, things ramped up over time.
It started one night when I was up late working on a class project.
My twin brother came in and told me he was going to go to bed and walked out of the kitchen where I was.
A few minutes later, I heard the distinct sound of the footrest of our recliner being snapped down.
So I assumed it's my bro and he sat back down for a sec.
And I wait nothing, no one, just me and panic shit that suddenly spawned and due to my fear.
I go and check. Yup.
He'd gone to bed 10 minutes prior when he told me cool, cool, cool.
I was totally fine having a ghost to chill in my living room and returned to my project.
If I don't address it, it'll stop, right?
That's how all problems in life work.
Wrong. You don't address it.
It'll just go away.
Wrong. The next week I'm at our side door about to walk out to the car where my brother was waiting to go meet our parents for dinner.
And as I open the door, I hear something sprinting through the kitchen toward me.
No, I make terrified eye contact.
Nope. With my brother that clearly conveyed my inner monologue of Holy shit.
I'm about to shuffle off this mortal coil without my consent because some invisible boogeyman is going to run me down right now before I finally came to my senses and slam the house door.
Somehow this still didn't spookify me too badly.
I'll just keep ignoring it and it'll go away.
Yes. Nope. Wrong again.
Some time passes. It's now the very end of October.
If my memory serves correct.
Buckle up my spooky bitches.
This is where shit got real.
I thought shit already got real.
I kind of felt that way too.
Well, when I told my roommates this story, we slept with the lights on for two days.
I just, I need to describe the way my family's house is laid out for you to clearly visualize what comes next.
I was about to laugh my hat off at you.
I'm gonna laugh my hat off.
Or maybe I'm so scared that my hat just popped off.
She's not gonna laugh her ass off.
She's gonna laugh her hat off.
I'm gonna laugh my hat off.
Well, our kitchen had a back staircase that links up to the main staircase.
It's super steep and runs right up to the dishwasher.
So we don't use it.
It's just storage space for kitchen appliances and bey fridges.
Some bey fridges. I love a bey fridge.
We love a bey fridge.
Can I side note really quick?
When Andrew first got like a home of our own, what the main thing he said to me that he wanted to do, he said, our house has to be a beverage house.
And I was like, what's a beverage house?
And he said, I always want to have like a bunch of different beverages.
And you do. And we do.
We are a beverage house.
You are a beverage house.
Yeah. It was very important to him.
Dream realized. I opened your refrigerator the other day.
And I said, oh my God, the bey fridges.
The variety. If anybody wants to sponsor us, we have a Lonnie, we have Ollie Pop.
We have poppies. We don't discriminate between the good for your tummy sodas.
We have Gatorade for Drew.
We have orange juice most of the time.
We have seltzers for the Mikeys.
We have the quas. We have the quas.
Yeah. It's like, I thought it was like Roy.
I think it's a debate.
Oh, it's a hot my face.
I'm gonna chop my face.
Do this. Oh, I want to like smack it, but that doesn't work either.
I'm just gonna lightly help it.
It's really not helping.
It's not helping. No, I'm just kidding.
No, it's on this side.
Oh, okay. That worked.
Thank you. Please leave that in.
Anyway, this took a hard turn.
So our kitchen has a backstair.
Oh, nobody said that.
Beverages. So the base of those...
Oh yes. Excuse me. Beverages.
The base of those stairs is directly adjacent to the countertop that has the dishwasher, the oven and the sink.
So I'm at the sink washing some pans from dinner late at night.
I'm the last one awake out of my peripheral vision to the left.
I can clearly see that staircase.
It's dark, obviously, as everyone's asleep.
I shit you not. My heart cease to beat as I see a figure at the top of that back staircase.
I freeze, suds the hands up and all and hold my breath for a second.
Out of the corner of my eye, I clearly see a very tall shadow figure.
She spied with her little eye, bent down with his...
No, this could not be real.
I know it is, but with his hands on his knees, ass stuck out, head cocked all the way to the side to stare at me.
He is in full twerking position, ready to shake some ass like a teen on a prom in front of all their teachers and chaperones.
But he has his head, his spooky head tilled like, like head turned to the side and cocked so he can get a good look at little old me.
Hands on the knees.
But like, uh, he said, hands on my knee, shit and ass on my flat shit.
Post me a pic. I can't laugh.
I'm just letting go.
You saw it. It was good at first.
Well, I was not cool with being perceived by this spooky shadow bastard.
And definitely, I did not want to be perceived and definitely not cool with his spooky ass shaking stance.
Side note, I know I sounded like some cool, brave bad -ass who totally wasn't afraid, but homies, I was about three seconds away from melting into a puddle of fear and evicting myself from the property immediately.
I don't blame you. I turned to confirm what I'm seeing and it's gone.
Oh, I love that somebody just came to shake ass with you in the after.
That's my favorite.
He was, and he didn't even shake ass.
He just got in the position.
He got ready to shake.
I think then he knew he was trying to see if you were ready.
Yeah. Like he was doing what the ghosties were doing in the Amityville horror.
They were like, are you ready for a dance off?
Like the marching band.
I think they were literally like, are you ready for it?
And you said, huh. And he was like, you're not ready for it.
He just got out. He knew you weren't ready for his twerking.
He would have gone off.
It was about to. If you had been like, let's go.
He would have been like, okay, let's go.
I'm not. You should have shook ass with shake.
I don't know. It's like you could have figured it out in the moment.
I would not believe in you.
I would. You know, I've literally watched TikTok videos to learn how to twerk.
Yes, I do know that.
And I can't do it. So if anybody wants to help me out, call me, don't call me, but like DM me.
DM me and teach me how to twerk.
Call me BB. If you want to teach me how to twerk.
If you want to teach me how to twerk.
Because I love Meg The Stallion and she has so many great songs to shake ass to.
But didn't she do that?
Like, eh, thing. Yep, eh, eh, exactly.
I don't want to put my tongue out, getting black all over it.
You got to just like stick it to the front.
Oh, I have to do it.
Yeah, of course. Wait, I don't want to hold on because I sparkle my lips.
One, two, three. Yeah, I love it.
All right. So I know for a fact, it's Halloween guys.
Have some fun. I know for a fact, this wasn't some trick of the light or my imagination.
This was a solid figure enough so that I was 100 % positive.
One of my siblings was playing a prank on me and just standing there to scare me.
But now there's nothing there.
So I finished washing dishes and went to my bed, forcing myself not to run.
When I hit the landing on the stairs where he had been very cool, casual, mindful of me, very demure, very demure, very cutesy, cutesy of you.
Weirdly enough, after all that things stopped for a while.
My younger sister started to experience things.
Though like her foot being yanked while sleeping at night after I went away to college.
No, no, no, I try not to think of that when I visit home for in our shared room, but that's the tale.
Now, most of my friends refuse to come to my family home.
Oh, I'd come. You're like, I'm there, girl.
I'm there. I'll go shake ass with that ghost once I learn how to twerk.
Yeah. And your friends are scared to come due to a fear that this spooky twerking tool is still on my stairs.
I try hard not to think of him when I'm the last one up at night, but he hasn't bothered me since.
Maybe I ignored him for long enough that he skedaddleed off to haunt someone else.
Keep it weird, but not so weird that...
I have to call you out, Kara.
Not so weird that you don't shake ass with the ghost on your stairs.
Kara, I understand that that was a scary situation because like, yeah, totally.
If a ghost or a demon is trying to have a dance off with you, you got to show him what your momma gave you.
Yeah, you got to shake what your momma gave you.
You have to shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Precisely. So you really need to.
But you know what? I probably would have been scared to and ran out of my house.
So I would have been tough.
That's my real me talking.
So tough me is like, I don't know.
I would have thrown ass.
I would have thrown ass with that demon.
Wow, Kara, I love that.
See that was my spooky clown laugh again.
I didn't even mean to do...
Oh, I don't like that.
I like it. Don't show this to Drew.
I think he would leave.
John, I sent a picture to him because he was picking up the girls from school and he just said, my God.
And then she said when you said the picture of you and Tobias.
I said the picture of this and I said, twins.
And he said, tots my goats.
Totes my goats. I was like, you're going to be scared when I come downstairs.
Drew said, oh, you're a cute little sad clown.
But I think if you heard me laugh like that, he would not like that.
He would say, you're a scary little sad clown.
He would say, get out of my presence.
So my next listener tale is called Halloween Listener Tail, my ghostly ex -boyfriend and a New Orleans psychic.
Oh no, Debbie said this is a beautiful tale, but it might make you cry.
Oh shit. I can't cry.
I'm already crying.
No, Deb, Deb. This is from Chelsea.
Hi Chelsea. Hi Chelsea.
Hi Chelsea. I've been watching old episodes of Southern Charm and there's a Chelsea.
Oh, I loved Chelsea.
And the really terrible Ashley girl was like Chelsea.
When she was trying, when she was trying to explain why she was a dick.
All right. My name is Chelsea.
Who did? Ashley. Oh, she blocked you on Twitter.
She blocked me on Twitter.
Yeah. That's hardcore.
I know. So this is my name is Chelsea.
And as I mentioned above, I'm a Louisiana girl.
Hey Chelsea. Hey. Born in and raised just north of New Orleans.
I was raised Catholic and while I no longer identify as religious, I would say I am still quite spiritual.
My Catholic upbringing has left a few imprints on who I am as a person and namely a deep seed of belief and a higher power.
Whatever you want to call him or her, something greater than ourselves.
A strong conviction that there is more to this world and the next than we see and or an understanding and an openness to signs and messages from the other side.
Yeah, I actually love that.
I think that's a that's a beautiful belief system.
That's pretty much exactly what I believe.
I don't believe that I'm psychic or clairvoyant in any way, but I've always felt a closeness or openness to messages from loved ones who have passed on and I could write another two or three listener tales just with stories of interactions with my grandma.
Mama. After her passing, OK, so please write those stories.
Yeah, I got to hear about Mama Mama Mama.
More than 10 years ago, I moved to Houston, Texas, after grad school to take a job and start building my career.
While living in Houston, I met and started dating a nice Greek boy named Teddy.
Oh, Teddy. Teddy was and still to this day is the kindest person I've ever met.
Good. Because I was like, we love Teddy.
And then I was like, do we love Teddy?
I know I got to fight Teddy.
But I'm glad I don't have to fight Teddy.
We would have squared up for you, Chelsea.
We would have. But you know what, Teddy?
Good job. Hey, Teddy.
Once upon introducing Teddy to a group of my friends, one of my friends asked me how it felt to be the worst person in the relationship.
Oh, you know, we're all out there.
We're all out there somewhere.
I'm the worst person in the relationship.
Are you the worst person in the relationship?
Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are.
I was like, yeah, don't lie.
I think you write. We're the worst.
You know what? So here we are.
Here we are. That's awesome.
He was joking, but he was 100 percent right.
Whatever traits I imagine God uses to judge the goodness of a person, selflessness, loyalty, patience, et cetera, Teddy was off the charts in all of them.
That's true. That is Teddy.
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After dating for about a year, I woke up one morning to find Teddy having a full blown seizure beside me.
Holy shit, the turn.
Yeah, that took a quick left.
After months of testing, doctor's visits and additional seizures, always at night and always in his sleep, we would find a brain tumor lodged in his right temporal lobe.
We quickly scheduled surgery and the tumor was removed successfully and identified as benign.
Oh, good. But unfortunately, the seizures continued.
And when they did, I was always the only person there since they only happened at night while we were sleeping.
He lived with them.
I can't imagine that I really can't.
You're an angel. He lived with them and managed his condition with medication as best as he could.
I'm a strong believer that just because something isn't forever doesn't mean it wasn't real.
My relationship with Teddy is an example of this.
After almost 3 .5 years together, life was pulling the two of us in different directions.
We broke up and went our separate ways, both sad, but with nothing but love and respect in our hearts for one another.
I moved back to Louisiana and he stayed in Texas.
The fact that you still say he's like one of the most kind people you've ever met is like such a mature relationship.
It really is. Fast forward a year and a half and I was dating the man who spoiler alert is now my husband David.
Hey David day day day day.
We were on. I just nicknamed your husband for you.
We were on our first big trip as a couple in Mexico when I received a phone call from my best friend back in Houston.
Oh no, my heart is about to sink.
No, when I answered she asked to speak to my boyfriend.
It struck me as weird, but I handed over the phone.
When David hung up, I knew exactly that something was wrong.
David then had the devastating task of telling me that Teddy was gone.
He had passed in his sleep as a result of a seizure.
He had been alone. Oh, oh, that's awful.
I'll tell you one thing, ladies.
It takes a strong man to watch the woman he loves grieve openly and savagely over another man, but he did.
That's another good one.
David for life, another great one.
He held me while I sobbed and screamed and blamed myself.
If I had only been there, if we hadn't broken up, I could have saved him.
When I told him I didn't know what to do with myself or my thoughts.
He asked me to tell him about Teddy.
What a human. I got a full body, like what an amazing man.
We spent that entire night talking about my ex -boyfriend, with David giving me all the space and support I needed to not crumble into oblivion.
I knew after that night that I would marry David.
Hell yeah, you did.
That's awesome. Whew.
Okay. You're probably like, bitch, get to the spooky park, which is exactly what I'm doing now, but you needed the background context.
Fair enough. I appreciate you telling us.
Yeah. The months following Teddy's death were weird, heavy.
It sounds insane, but I could feel him.
That doesn't sound insane at all.
Strange things were happening in my house, never threatening or scary, but I can feel his presence, lights would flicker.
An untouched book on my bookshelf became mysteriously dog eared to a particularly meaningful passage.
That's beautiful. Damn.
Alina would be so mad.
She literally won't let me borrow her books because I dog ear the pages.
It's true. I don't dog ear pages.
I can't handle it. You're insane.
I'm a bookmark early.
She is. I like my books to be in the right condition.
I think they look well loved if they've been dog eared a lot.
No, it's a, it's a great, I was going to say, it's a great personal debate.
We'll do a poll. Yeah, we will.
Except I'll probably, I might lose that one.
I don't know. I don't know.
One time when I had a fever and chills, my AC broke, making my house a toasty 83 degrees so I would die.
That's horrible. Once my fever broke and the chills went away, the AC turned back on like nothing had happened.
It's just like Teddy to be taking care of someone from the afterlife.
Halloween night of that year.
Halloween. I happened to be back in Houston on a business trip.
I was invited to celebrate with some of my and Teddy's mutual friends and headed over to their house for dinner.
That night, a wicked thunderstorm came rolling through Houston, knocking out the power at their house and generally upping the spook factor since we were now dining by candlelight.
All through the evening.
Our host had music playing in the background via her phone.
At some point, her phone stopped working and try as she might, the music would not come back on.
We chucked it up to the storm, messing with service and continued our conversation in silence for another 30 minutes or so.
Eventually, as we knew it would, the conversation turned to Teddy.
As the storm continued to rage, we discussed how much we all missed him and agreed on the general tragedy of the situation.
I confessed the guilt I was carrying around.
How if we hadn't broken up, I would have likely been there to intervene.
I told them about the weird experiences I was having in my house.
And that's when our host's phone started playing music again on its own.
Stop it. A completely different song and genre than it had been earlier.
The song was a newer one I had heard in passing, but never really listened to the lyrics until that moment.
We all sat in silence while the song played, each listening to the words and listening at each other with, in looking at each other with wide eyes.
It was Happier by Bastille.
I love Bastille. Oh, my God, I have goosebumps.
If you're unfamiliar, the lyrics are to paraphrase.
Lately, I've been thinking I want you to be happier.
Even though I might not like this, I want you to be happier.
And so that means I'll have to leave.
Oh, my God, I my goosebumps have goosebumps.
I was just I felt that holy shit.
The song is about a couple who is breaking up because they know what's best for them, even though they are heartbroken.
But the guy acknowledging that he's going to walk away so that she can be happier.
Everyone in the town, I'm like about to cry.
Literally everyone in the room was looking at me, some with goosebumps on their arms, some with tears in their eyes.
And it was clear that they were all interpreting the same message as I was.
Teddy was telling me that it was OK, that he heard me, that he didn't blame me and that he was going to back off with the ghost shit since it was freaking me out of it all.
I immediately felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
After that night, I did not feel his presence around me anymore.
I felt that he had moved on to wherever he was supposed to be.
I didn't hear from him again until two years later, in October 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, David and I were engaged, intended of planning our wedding.
Thanks, Covid. My spooky witchy bachelorette extravaganza, which was originally planned in Salem, Massachusetts.
Oh, it had to be canceled due to travel restrictions.
Oh, so plan B was a bachelor at Halloween weekend here in Louisiana, which is still I think that might even be better.
Yeah, complete with outdoor social distancing friendly activities for a small group of my closest friends.
One of these activities was hiring a real life French quarter psychic medium to come read tarot cards for us as part of our glamp out at our farm north of NOLA.
Oh, my God. This is the coolest shit.
Why didn't you invite me?
Why didn't you invite us?
The open air was a good setting for groups activities and the sweeping live oaks were an excellent backdrop for some witchery.
I'm upset. I feel so cozy.
Just thinking about feels like a book.
The psychic began by reading tarot for everyone in attendance.
And this lady was the real deal as an I sat down and was crying with the first three sentences out of her mouth.
Oh, first thing she said to me before even touching the cards was your people on the other side are very loud.
They're telling me that you're worried you won't be able to have children.
And they're telling me that that's not going to be a problem.
It will happen almost immediately.
Oh, my God. This woman did not know me.
She had no way of knowing that I've known since I was 16 that I have a condition that could impact my fertility and that knowledge had hung over me like a dark cloud every day of my life.
Spoiler alert, she was correct.
So you didn't have any issue.
That's amazing. What's wild, too.
That's weird that you had that, like, feeling that you were worried about it.
I also had that feeling from a very young age.
Yeah. And it's like I knew it and I did have trouble.
I know. It's wild. But then I got my baby.
Now, after reading tarot, she transitioned into a medium ship session where she opened herself up to messages from the other side.
After a few messages for some of my friends, all of which were scarily accurate, she suddenly said, I'm feeling the presence of a young man, and he's showing me a teddy bear with a tee on it.
Oh, I immediately went cold.
Teddy's last name started with a tee and one of his nicknames was Teddy T.
She proceeded to tell me that he sees everything happening in your life.
And he's so happy for you.
He supported my marriage.
He likes David. She also added, he wants you to know that there's nothing you could have done to present prevent what happened to him.
Even if you had been there, it was over so quickly.
And he wasn't scared or in pain.
Oh, she must have been like such a weight off your shoulders again.
Seriously. She finally said he wants you to know that you are the love of his life.
And he's so grateful for that.
I'm going to solve right now, literally.
I had to close my eyes so that they wouldn't start forming tears like actual tears.
Yes, let me tell you the sobs that left my body.
It truly felt like the most beautiful gift of closure, knowing that he was OK, knowing that he was happy and happy for me.
It's an experience that has stuck with me and will be with me forever.
I now see Teddy as one of my guardian angels up there conspiring with my mama and Papa watching over me and my beautiful growing family.
David and I did indeed get pregnant almost immediately after our wedding.
Our son was born two days after our first anniversary.
And we are currently expecting our second son.
Yes, great. David continues to be an amazingly supportive partner and father to our children.
We still talk about Teddy.
Remember his birthday every year.
And we travel up to New England together to attend Teddy's sister's wedding a few years ago, where we bonded, where he bonded with Teddy's dad and stayed up until four a .m.
drinking with Teddy's best friends.
That's amazing. I love that.
David is my favorite person ever.
David rocks. David now loves Teddy's family as much as I do.
And we try to see them regularly.
His family will be a part of our children's lives.
And I plan to share his story with my sons when they are old enough to understand.
I think this is the most beautiful, literally the most beautiful thing we've ever received.
I hope they see it as an example of finding a beautiful silver lining around life's darkest clouds, proof that people come into our lives for a reason and that not all love stories end with forever.
Some love stories end in this world, but go on into the next.
And I hope they see their father as an incredible, an example of an incredible emotional maturity, a paragon of non toxic masculinity and an illustration of the kind of supportive partner they should strive to be one day.
Wow. Yes. Amazing. Amazing.
Thank you. If you've made it this far into reading this rather lengthy novella.
We can't all be best selling novelists.
Selena, I love you.
But I felt this story had to be extracted from the inside of my head and put to paper.
I have attached some pictures to this email so you can put some faces with names that add some color to the story.
Why are you all so beautiful?
You and Teddy are the cutest things I've ever seen.
And so are you and David and your child's baby!
And they made it to Salem last year and you got to go to the ropes mansion and you got to go to Allison's house.
Stop it. I love it.
Oh, my God. These are great pictures.
Winona and Reba. Winona and Reba?
Not sad, just sleeping.
Oh, my God. I love it.
Honestly, Chelsea, that story was one of the most beautiful stories we have had in Listener Tail.
So thank you for that.
Gorge, gorge, gorge.
You and David forever.
Teddy forever. I'm going to remember that story forever.
That was an amazing story.
Thank you for sending that.
Was beautiful. All right.
My next one is Listener Tail Trick or Treat or Clowns.
I love it. Hey, oh, this is from Megan.
Megan Megan. I don't know why I said it like that.
Oh, oh, oh, she did it!
Now we'll work on the head tilt next.
Yeah, that's the total.
That just made me really happy.
All right. To properly tell this story, I got so bossed in there.
To properly tell this story.
It's rubbing off on me.
What were you saying today that you like couldn't on the wall?
Haltz -a -geist. Haltz -a -geist.
She couldn't stop. Haltz -a -geist.
Haltz -a -geist. All right.
To properly tell this story, I need to start with the setting.
This happened in 2014 on the spookiest day of the year.
One, two, three. Halloween!
My family had moved about an hour away from our old house in 2013.
The new neighborhood we moved to was known for Halloween.
So much that people drove to Trick or Treat there.
Were even more known for Christmas, which leads to a lot of traffic during holidays.
But everybody passed out candy and loads of people decorated.
To give some perspective, we would buy a bag of candy every single time we went shopping in September and October, just to have enough enough to pass out before the night ended.
And sometimes that wasn't even enough.
Wow. I want to go to there.
I do too. At the time of this particular Halloween, I was about 11 and my older sister, Erin, was around 12.
So we were still at the age where trick or treating was something we looked forward to.
We invited my sister's best friend, who lived an hour away, to spend the night trick or treating with us since the neighborhood was so known for being the spot to go.
Naturally, we had to coordinate costumes or what was the point.
Erin and her best friend were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
But instead of fat suits, they were tutus and suspenders.
I love that. I love that.
That's great. I was Alice and wore a little blue dress with a white apron and had a black bow tied in my hair.
Adorable. We all looked very cute and unassuming, which is very cutesy, cute, very demure, very mindful, which is probably why we looked like easy targets that night.
Oh, I'm scared. Now to understand what happened, I'm going to give you a quick and simple layout of the neighborhood.
We lived near the end of a long street that connected to two major streets in the neighborhood.
Keep in mind that we had moved there recently and weren't super familiar with the area.
However, it was very safe.
And my mom, who always supervised us outside, thought it was fine for the three of us to go alone while she stayed and passed out candy.
She helped us pick an easy route of three streets that formed a triangle.
We would walk on the main street close to our house and then take a turn onto a street parallel to ours.
From there, we would turn onto the other main street that connected to the one we lived on just to make our way back, even though this was a safe neighborhood and the route was simple.
I was pretty terrified to go alone.
We had never done that.
Never done that before, let alone in a new neighborhood.
I was always the child who could hardly bear to be out of sight of an adult.
That's literally your middle.
Yeah. My sister, on the other hand, relished in the opportunity to have no supervision.
And she and her friend were excited.
Your oldest. Yeah. The night started off pretty normal.
It was still light out when we left.
But by the time we had gotten to the second main road, it was dark.
We amassed a good amount of candy by that point.
And we're about to turn back onto our street.
However, this is when things got a little strange.
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What if death is only the beginning?
In 1950s England, a milkman's daughter's lives are tragically cut short.
When his wife later becomes pregnant, he makes a claim that is frankly eerie.
He says that his newborn twins are his dead daughters reincarnated.
And he says he has proof.
A true story hosted by writer director and Emmy nominated actor Will Sharp.
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As we were about to turn back onto the street from the corner of my eye, I saw a lone trick or treater across the street.
He was dressed in all black clothing and wore a Halloween clown mask that covered his whole face.
Scary. I don't like that.
This by itself wasn't unusual.
But what was strange is that he didn't have a bag to hold candy.
Oh, yeah, no. Instead, he had a baseball bat.
Nope. I thought to myself, huh, that's odd, huh, huh?
But he was on the other side of the road.
So it wasn't a problem.
Well, actually, it was a problem, because pretty soon after noticing this person, I realized he wasn't alone.
Trailing behind us was another person in all black and wearing that same clown Halloween mask obscure.
And it is obscured his whole face.
This person didn't have a bat, but instead was simply dragging a golf club along the sidewalk behind him.
What the fuck? Where are where is any help?
What's happening? I'm scared.
I mom picked me up.
I'm scared. The rest all happened very quickly.
It was dark and I don't know where they came from.
But in the blink of an eye, the two people turned into three.
Then four, then five, then suddenly 10 people were dispersed around the street.
What the fuck? All wore the same clown masks and had bats or golf clubs.
The ones on the other side of the street crossed the road and came towards us.
At the same time, the ones on the street got closer to us and started forming a circle.
No, we were surrounded.
There were at least three on each side to the left and right of us.
A few behind us and one in front.
They were dragging their clubs and banging their bats on the concrete.
Ew, what assholes like truly like fuck.
Get a life. What is particularly strange and something I do not understand to this day is that the street was empty.
I was thinking at the school.
Yeah. Like, where is everybody?
Was there an adult to help you?
This was the most popular neighborhood to trick or treat in.
However, besides these strange boys in the looming darkness, we were the only ones on that street.
Was this some like weird, elaborate hazing ritual that your neighborhood had?
Oh, my God. Maybe that'd be that they were like, welcome to the neighborhood.
We're going to scare the shit out of you and fucking hang.
Were they just waiting for someone to walk by when the street was clear?
Were they hiding? Did they have some sort of signal?
Yeah. However, the answers to these questions were irrelevant because the reality was they were getting closer by the second.
If I reached out, I could touch one before my arm was even fully straightened.
Oh, no. Oh, that's too much in my personal space.
Yeah, of course it is.
Get out of my fucking bubble.
No, get out of the fucking bubble.
Get out. I remember how I said that I was scared to go and my sister wasn't.
Yes. This is where that shifts.
Erin and her friend who were in front of me slowed down and came closer to me.
We were all frazzled with a look silently asked each other, what do we do?
For some reason, that eludes me to this day.
The dominant emotion that I was feeling wasn't fear, but anger.
Looking back, I should have approached the situation with more caution.
But I was pretty pissed.
I would be too. And I kind of loved that you were pissed.
Yeah, in my mind, these had to be neighborhood boys picking on the little girls wearing tutus and dresses and just trying to scare them.
So fuck them. So I immediately decided that if they were going to try to get a rise out of us, the best thing we could do was not give them one.
Yeah. I whispered to my sister and her friend, keep walking.
Yeah. And we did. But what they didn't know was that we were on the street we lived on.
So we just had to outlast them.
Unfortunately for us, they kept walking to what I want.
And I want to junk punch every single one of them.
So hard to hit them with their golf clubs.
Yeah. Like, it almost looks like a security detail for a celebrity.
Except, you know, the fact that they were threatening us, a very weird one.
Yeah. Kind of like paparazzi.
Yeah. Actually, in a situation like that, logic is the first thing we abandon.
We certainly had cell phones and could have called for help, but we just kept walking.
Besides, even if we got our phones out, they were close enough to just grab them.
After what felt like several minutes, but I'm sure it was only a moment.
I switched tactics.
I must have heard this from some television show, but I turned to the closest one on my left and said in the most intimidating voice, I said in the most intimidating voice, an 11 year old girl dressed as Alice in Wonderland could muster.
I will cut you. Oh my god.
I'm obsessed. I will cut you.
Honestly, I would have ran.
I would get the fuck out of there.
I'd be like, I believe it.
I believe it. Because anybody dressed as Alice in Wonderland.
Saying I'm going to cut you right in their face.
That's scary. You did the right thing.
I will cut you. That's right.
She said this is embarrassing, but I hope it makes you laugh.
It's not embarrassing.
You should not be embarrassed.
It's iconic. I needed them to know that we were not scared and what they were doing wasn't working.
So they should just give up.
It didn't deter these boys, but it served till unconfidence.
Get a life. Get a life.
It didn't deter these boys, but it served till unconfidence to my sister and her friend.
They continue to walk.
And when they got close to the masked person in the front, they just pushed them out of the way.
With our heads up, but not making eye contact.
We continued because what else was there to do really?
Yeah. We could start to see other trick or treaters in the distance.
Our luck changed then.
And just as quickly as they came, these masked boys were gone without a trace.
What? They just left?
They just like poofed into the air.
So they just menaced you?
And then left? And then left?
Fuck them. Don't ruin somebody's Halloween like that.
I'll find them. I will and we'll jump punch every single one of them.
Dressed like this. Dressed like this.
How scary would that be?
That would show. Clown me clown.
Clown me clown. Are you ready?
I love it. The dread was replaced by a flood of relief and we were safe again.
After that, I don't think we resumed trick or treating and just went home for the night.
Oh, that's a bummer.
I know. I understand it.
I wouldn't continue.
We did tell my mom what happened while we were treating Candy in the kitchen.
She wasn't thrilled that we engaged with them, but wasn't too worried.
It did sink in later that night to me at least how that situation could have gone so differently.
I can't say I was particularly traumatized.
But that was the last year I went trick or treating.
Oh, that makes me sad.
You were 11? Yeah. Oh, that makes me really sad.
Dude, I was like 15 when I stopped trick or treating.
Oh. I got to the point where people were like, we're not giving you candy.
We're not. You're like you're too old for this.
However, Halloween remains my favorite holiday and I celebrate it every year.
Thank you for reading this and I hope everyone keeps it weird, but not somewhere that you surround children and try to scare them by being you baseball bats in golf clubs because that's just not cool.
PS. I retold the story to my mom as I was writing this and she seemed confused and said, was it really that bad?
Didn't some boys just follow you?
I suppose that when we told her at the time, we left out a lot of details.
I guess. And when I recounted it like this, she was appalled.
She said I didn't know about the weapons or the clown masks and said that if she did know that, she would have been on the hunt for these boys parents.
Oops. I knew that it had to be a missing link there because I was like, if my kids come home and tell me that a bunch of boys with weapons and clown masks around and I interrupt you, I know exactly what you would do.
She would do. Yep. Whatever.
Elena's mad. She always crunches.
Ready? And it's always so good.
And that would be, I'd be like, we're, we're off.
We're like, you stay at home.
And I'd be like, mama and data are gonna go.
Call TT. I'm going to go make some friends in the neighborhood.
Oh, I would. And then we would never see those boys again.
Like when I tell you like the rage I had for you in that moment, I wanted to fucking strangle these boys.
That's just so necessary.
Don't ruin someone's Halloween.
Halloween's supposed to be fun and people need to consent and being scared.
Don't be a dick. Be cool.
Don't be like uncool.
Don't do that. And definitely don't fucking scare kids.
Like what the hell.
Get a life. Let them live.
Like she stresses Alice in Wonderland.
I know. Like let her live.
They, they did their costumes together for this.
Yeah. I'm not, I'm not impressed by them.
That's don't impress them, me much.
If you're listening, boys who did that, I'm not impressed.
Oh, they're not listening.
They are not this cool.
No, they're not. They are.
They're not this cool.
They're not this cool.
They're not. This is so cool.
They're not on this level.
Cosplay equals cool.
Are you on the level?
No. No, you're not.
The answer is no. You could never be.
All right. Mine is entitled, how I thought I was going to be killed by a paper mache mask wearing psycho.
Whoa. And it's by B.
Hi, I love that name.
Like this is like the Bumble.
Like the Bumble. It says hello, lovely ladies of all that is all that tis dark, weird and spoopy.
My name is B, like the Bumble, a family nickname, which you are more than welcome to use as I consider you and all other weirdos listening as family.
I love that. You are our family.
I discovered your absolute gift of a podcast at the beginning of 2022.
And it has kept me laughing through many a commute and hard times.
Seriously, you guys remind me so much of me and my sister, which is a huge comfort since we live on opposite sides of the Pacific.
Oh, I could never. I know I could never.
Thank you. I was going to move to New York and we just couldn't even handle it.
Couldn't do it. Yeah, couldn't do it.
Thank you for all you do.
You two are delights.
Never change your badass bitch in ways.
I love it. We won't.
Total side note. Ash, I'm a Libra.
So is Mikey. Mikey is a Libra.
Which makes us air sign besties.
We are air sign besties.
I can't really decide how to segue from that to my story, but here we go.
I'm not a writer like Elena.
Cue Ash sharing the link to the butcher in the Ren.
Tinyurl .com slash the butcher in the Ren.
I don't know if that still exists.
Don't go there. But it's there.
Congrats, Elena. Can't wait to read it.
Update. I got it all downloaded on my Kindle and ready to go.
So I hope this is not too convoluted.
Thank you so much. Be for life.
The tale begins five years ago on Halloween.
I know I'm writing and sending you this in July, but the spirit store that lives in my heart can no longer be contained in this withered summer, summer husk of a body any longer.
I'm obsessed with you.
I've never related to a sentence more.
In a small town on Japan's southernmost and largest island, I hope I say this right.
Kyushu? Kyushu. I believe it's Kyushu.
Yeah. I will leave out of out the prefecture in town as I still live here and don't want to cause any potential embarrassment for parties involved.
I will call it Goldfish Town because as the nickname may suggest, it is famous for breeding around 30 different varieties of goldfish.
Woo woo. Goldfish Town represent.
That's really cool, Amanda.
That's the funnest fact.
So a bit of background.
The first time I came to live in Japan, I was working as an alt assistant language teacher.
I worked at two elementary schools and one middle school helping teach English in the classroom.
In the classroom. In the classroom.
It was a wonderful experience and such a privilege working with the students and teachers.
Goldfish Town always had two alts and we split the schools as there was a total of two middle schools and four elementary schools.
There was some quick maths for you ladies, which I will not be doing again.
The alt departments were literally right next to each other.
So me and the other alt codename E were super besties.
We always hung out, shared meals, had many elaps and a cries in each other's apartment.
She is still a bestie to this day.
I ride or die, ride or die bitch, which you'll definitely see in this story.
I have a final person to mention in is our supervisor nom de plume spelling French.
I loved it. Nom de plume.
Okay. The sweetest woman alive and who we literally referred to as our Japanese mother.
Oh, she's super kind and friendly and always made sure we were looked after.
Nom de plume. Mama.
Okay, so let's get into the dirty deets.
What happened on Halloween five nights ago?
Do tell. Five years ago.
But what happened on Halloween five nights ago?
That makes no sense.
I just got white on my finger.
Oh, no. Halloween in Japan is more of an adult holiday, going out drinking, going to costume parties, which is fun.
But we don't get little goulies and goblins running up to our doors screaming for the sweets or else threatening trick.
I kind of love that actually.
I want I need the trick or treaters.
No, I love the trick or treaters, but I hate driving on Halloween night because I get so nervous.
Yeah, I just won't.
Well, I have to. Yeah.
Yeah, just won't. Yeah.
Our apartments were on the second floor in buildings facing each other, a literal minute walk and a lot of huffing upstairs.
This Halloween, we had both planned quiet evenings.
Me at home reading cozy mysteries for my October mystery readathon drinking cocoa, the nectar of fall and E at the gym being a ripped goddess.
I love how different both of your things were.
We didn't have any plans to meet up the night that night.
And other than E, anyone else coming to my door is a big it's going to be a no from me dog moment.
Yes, yes. Our apartments were around 20 years old, but thankfully had a modern doorbell system camera where there was some when someone rang the doorbell, I could see who it was on the screen in my kitchen foreshadowing.
Well, that's cool. Quite handy for dodging the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Yes, they're out here.
No shade. Just as I said, I'm a millennial hermit crab who wants to chill in her shell in peace.
Oh, I feel I feel that.
So I'm home alone at the kitchen table drinking cocoa, enjoying my book, feeling the Holy Halloween spirit when the doorbell rings.
No. Knowing it's not E, I think maybe I was getting some trick -or -treaters panicking that I would have to share some of my time of the month all the month, stashed can't chocolate with them.
But what I see freezes my blood on the screen is a person.
I can't tell the gender as their clothes are baggy.
And the fact that they are wearing a large paper mache spelling French.
Again, you did great head.
The head has painted on wide staring blue eyes, a small neutral mouth slightly open and dark brown hair part to the side.
Very serial killer style.
I hate it. Very not cutesy, cutesy.
Very not to me. I stopped breathing because I'm afraid whatever is on the other side of the door will hear me.
The doorbell rings again and I can see the head move closer to the door cam like it's looking through the peephole.
Get the fuck off my property.
I slowly slide over the table where I left my phone.
After grabbing it, I wait until my little door cam goes dark and I hear footsteps or see down the stairs outside.
I think I stood there for a good five minutes.
My ears straining to hear anything but feeling like the whole world is silent.
And only I exist. Oh, that's beautiful.
That is beautiful. You are a writer.
I run back to the screen to take a picture of the figure to send to E telling her not to worry, I'm alive.
But this thing was at my doorstep.
And if she could come back from the gym, I would love her forever.
Like the true queen she is, she immediately called me saying there she'd be there in 15 minutes and to stay put with a knife in hand.
Next, I messaged our supervisor, Kay, the photo.
Now I know, I know at this point, you guys are all screaming to call the police.
I was kind of thinking it in my head a little bit.
But I wasn't judging you yet.
I wasn't. But honestly, I didn't know what constituted an emergency in Japan.
Fair enough, fair enough.
And where my Japanese is conversational.
How do I explain that a soul sucking paper mache demon stood outside my door?
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Kay also called immediately and said she and her husband were on their way over.
Thankfully, they live five minutes away.
So I didn't wait long to get a message saying they were coming up.
And I will never forget them coming up the stairs.
If I hadn't been so scared at the time, I would have laughed.
Kay, my five foot tall supervisor is running up the stairs calling for me, followed by her six foot three husband, cigarette dangling cavalierly out of one side of his mouth and a golf club slung casually over his shoulder.
Fucking icon. That's what you use a golf club for.
Not to scare little kids to protect a girl.
Does anyone else smell a potential ghost hunting demon slaying show pitch here?
I would make a great show.
He's always got to have a cigarette or like a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.
Yes. Anyway, back to the paper, my shade waking nightmare.
I told them that I had no idea who this person was and showed them the picture, which they agreed was really fucked up.
By that time, he had returned home and also came roaring up the stairs, ready to slap this kindergarten craft project gone wrong.
I assured her I was okay and said she should check the door cam to see if they came to her door too.
They hadn't. Since she hadn't been visited by crafty killer TM.
I spent the night at her place.
Over the next few weeks, I was on high alert.
I was always waiting to hear the doorbell ring and see that face again, but whoever had been, never came back and I eventually settled down a bit.
That's when they strike.
Fast forward to before Christmas.
He and I were having a small Christmas party with our goldfish town alt senpai.
A term of respect used for a person who is usually older, more experienced than you at life, job, etc.
I like that. School, etc.
Senpai. V and her husband H were...
That's who they were.
There was a period.
So they were... V was the predecessor at my school, but she still lived in goldfish town and had met and married her husband there too.
We had decided on doing a potluck dinner at our apartment and everyone arrived with plenty of yummies in tow.
Oh, love that. Exactly.
As long as you know the people.
If I know your kitchen, I'll eat it.
If I haven't seen your kitchen, I'm not eating it.
As we got to prepping, we were just chatting and catching up.
When E brings up the Halloween incident about how creepy it was and how scared we had all been.
After that, dinner was almost ready and we were about to sit down when V's husband started whispering to her in Japanese.
I'm nervous. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but she then said louder in English, I'm sorry, just say I'm sorry.
By this point, E and I were blatantly dropping those Eves and asking if everything was okay.
When V's husband said, I'm sorry, on Halloween that was me in the mask.
Shut up. I love that it came up at a Christmas dinner and that he was like, I don't know.
And the wife was like, say sorry.
He was like, you fucking apologize.
I was fucking dumbstruck, gobsmacked, flabbergasted, and other big shocked words.
I couldn't fucking believe it.
It was you. Why? Why did you come here on Halloween wearing that mask?
H went on to tell me that he and V had made Halloween goodie bags and wanted to give one to me.
I love that it was like a good kind thing.
And you were scared for months.
It was so pure. The reason he didn't show up to E's place was because he didn't know which apartment she lived in.
My apartment actually used to be V's old place in her alt days, so he was hoping that I would tell him when I answered the door for my treat.
But why that terrifying DIY serial killer face?
When a witch's had her Dracula teeth would have gotten his trick -or -treat intentions across just fine.
Honestly. Apparently the mask is from one of his favorite movies, a movie called Frank starring Michael Fassbender, who plays a lead singer in a band, and he wears the mask because he gives him the confidence to perform due to his mental health issues.
Aw, that sounds like a beautiful plot.
It has such a appearance.
I love that. This is so pure.
This is iconic. But so scary.
This is hilarious. I don't think I can ever see that movie because of how much the mask scares the living shit out of me.
It is scary. They attached a picture.
But you know what, H said it's very moving.
It sounds like it would be.
I attached a picture of the mask from the movie.
But H's was handmade, which somehow made it more terrifying.
Yeah, that usually does happen.
Apparently H really wanted to participate in Halloween revelry, and now there wasn't enough Americans to do it.
We all had a good laugh about it.
Honestly, I'm glad we could solve the Halloween mystery.
Sorry to pull the spoopy rug from under you ladies, but I hope it gave you some good goosebumps and laughs.
Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you keep it weird, but not so weird they make your own paper mache head from an obscure Michael Fastbender film and try to drop off Halloween treats in a country that doesn't really celebrate Halloween, thus scaring the living shit out of you weird.
Oh my god. Love you.
Bye. Also, I don't know if we can zoom, but this is the is the mask.
That would fuck me up.
That's so scary. That would fuck me right up.
I don't love that. Right the fuck up.
Right the fuck up. B, that was so good.
And picture that homemade.
No. B, I would have been shitting my pants along with you.
B, I would've done.
I love that. That's like a rock stars mask.
I love it. He's got to figure out the band ghost.
Oh my god. All right, last one, you guys.
Last one. Last listener tale is listener tale.
Halloween! Halloween!
The time my dad attacked my friends and I with a chainsaw.
Oh fuck. Yay. Oh fuck.
All right. Hey spooky bachachos.
Bachachos? I love bachachos.
I used to say that all the time.
I got to bring that back.
I've been obsessed with you girls for years and I have yet to find another podcast and podcasters.
I love as much as you.
Thank you. We have a lot of great network shows.
I go back and relist in multiple episodes, some because you cover them so well, some because they are hilarious, Carl.
And most because I just love the sound of your voices.
My toddler calls you the ghost girls because he hears you talking in the car but he can't see you.
That's adorable. I love that.
When I discovered your podcast, I came home and told my husband, I have found my spirit besties.
Oh, I love that. Thank you.
We are your spirit besties.
And I made him listen to multiple episodes.
He looked at me and said, Well, when are we moving?
Because he's supportive like that.
I love him. I'm very much a mix of the two of you.
Ash, Stevie Nicks is also my fairy witchy godmother.
And Elena, I too hate the heat, love all things spooky and haunting and suffer from migraines, bitches.
Hell yeah, bitches.
I truly could. Hell yeah.
I truly feel like I'm hanging out with you girls when I'm listening to your show and it fills my social cup.
I love that. Thank you.
Man, you really are meant to be our bestie.
Because we don't really love, we don't have like...
My social cup is like a shock glass.
It's like so easy. Yeah, all right.
So on to my story. This is a story so many of my friends know or friends of my friends know and they still talk about it to this day and our old age as we reminisce about our youthful shenanigans from early high school and even middle school, elder millennial.
What? Younger millennial.
Not Gen Z. Zolennial.
No offense Gen Z. Still millennial.
Zolennial. No. Like isn't that what you're technically?
No, it's just millennial.
It's just the younger years.
Zolennial. Zolennial is made up.
That's not a real generation.
Yeah, there you go.
I'm going to fight you.
Before we get into the details, I must give you some backstory on where the morbid, scary, movie loving, terror chasing Halloween devotion comes from in my family.
My grandma, Marge. Marge.
I love that Marge. My dad's mom was a huge horror fan and collected pretty much everything she could horror themed from stickers she'd put in sticker books to cups and even a Chucky doll that moved on its own.
Okay, Marge is awesome.
Marge forever. Marge forever.
Yes, I shit you not and I have cousins to back me up on this, but that's for another time.
That's awesome. I saw some horror movies way too young as did a lot of my family members on my dad's side.
He was one of five kids, so it's gotten pretty large with the kids having kids and then those kids having kids and it has started many traditions.
Even though my grandma Marge passed away when I was still pretty young, I'm sorry.
My family attributes our love of the spooky spooky to her as it's trickled down our family line.
This is what you have to look forward to.
Yes, side note after she passed away, I for some reason wanted the Chucky doll and my dad's response was, well don't come crying to me if it comes after you in the middle of the night.
Your dad sounds awesome.
Needless to say that five -year -old did not take the doll and now sits in my aunt's basement in Atlanta.
Now this spooky devotion hasn't stuck with every family member, but most of us share the love of Halloween and all the things that encompass that.
Now to the meat and potatoes and yams wink, wink.
Gosh, of my story. The yam.
We're on the yam. Growing up an only child, my dad was like, fuck that multiple sibling shit.
My parents always allowed me to have friends over, mainly because it kept me entertained and out of their hair, but I digress.
My parents' house became a spot that all of my friends knew they could come to over the years, show up unannounced and just chat, have spur of the moment play date or sleepover, or even a large gathering of friends.
Oh, your parents are great.
I know, that's awesome.
Halloween was always hosted at my house and my parents went all out.
Yes. Decorations, treats, so many pizza, snacks, scary movies.
Hello, Blockbuster.
Galore. Blockbuster.
It was always a blast.
We would do haunted hay rides, spooky cave walks, trail of terror, haunted houses, Oh my God.
You name it. They took me and truckloads of my friends to it.
Oh, I love them. Best friends ever.
I can't wait to be a parent like that.
Oh, I can't wait. One of these particular Halloween weekends was when I was a freshman in high school.
A large group of my friends and I went to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre in theaters, followed by multiple movies at my house with all the fixings.
We rented, yes, rented, the original Texas Chainsaw movies amongst others and hunkered down in my parents' basement, lights off of course, and got cozy.
Now picture it. One of those huge comfy couches and giant chairs that could fit like four people on it and even more people on the floor.
And I'm sitting on the end of the couch closest to the wall and tiny window that peaks outside.
After a while, I thought I heard something outside and asked, did anybody else hear that?
Of course, they all said no.
It was probably just the movie since we were watching a chainsaw movie and I thought I heard a chainsaw.
Duh, that'll do it.
I just shook my head, thought I was hearing things and kept watching the movie.
A few more minutes later, I heard the noise again, but it was very clearly not the movie and my head snapped to the tiny window above my head where I could tell it was now pitch black outside so I couldn't see anything.
So I said, seriously, you guys didn't hear that?
And they said, no, Adrienne, you're dumb and you're trying to scare us.
There's nothing there.
Third time's the charm.
A few more minutes later, I heard this whirring noise again and this time my bestie, Elise, also heard it.
At this point, we paused the movie and all anxiously awaited to hear the sound again.
Nothing came. Quick side note, earlier in the evening, my friends and I were talking about the shit that always happens in scary movies like let's split up or let's hook up or let's go investigate.
All the classics, right?
Yeah. So my buddy Alex jokingly said, let's go investigate.
And we all ran up the stairs that led right out the back door to our driveway and backyard.
Keep in mind, there are at least 10 of us, if not more, and Elise and I are the last ones out the door.
It's pitch black and incredibly quiet and we immediately regretted this decision as they do in the movies.
Of course, our backyard was wide open to the other yards.
No fences and the driveway wrapped around the house with lights on the side that were currently off.
As Alex and a couple other brave dudes walked slowly around to look down the driveway, slam goes the back door behind me and click goes the lock.
Moments later, the lights on the side of the house switch on and in the driveway is a giant six foot four man with a mask and a chainsaw, slowly hobbling towards us ready to tear us all apart in the calmest manner.
I'm obsessed with this.
It was as if a small drip of water landed among ants as we all went in different directions.
Some screamed and ran through other backyards, some frozen terror, and some of us, like Elise and I, tried to frantically get back in the house, but it was locked.
I love that you discovered in that moment who everyone was in a horror movie.
Like you can now, the debate is done.
You know who, like it's no longer like, Oh, you would be the person who does this in the horror movie.
Like, nope. You would be the person who runs in the next yard.
I would run into the next yard.
That's your best bet.
As we were all trying not to pee our pants and vomit the insane amount of junk food we consumed and many of us had dispersed.
The man takes the mask off and a giant and with a giant grin, my dad starts laughing hysterically.
Your dad. Forever. Your dad.
I'm obsessed. I love him.
My heart starts to slow a smidge as my mother unlocks the back door and is also laughing hysterically.
Both very, very proud that their plan was so successful.
As they should be. Your parents for fucking ever.
That is couple goals.
That is top notch marriage.
Top tier. Top notch parent.
I'm so, so, so obsessed with that.
My brother did this.
Directs to my ex boyfriend after watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Actually, incredible.
It took a bit for all my friends to gather back up at my house, as you can imagine.
One of the guys lived on the block behind me.
So he literally just went home.
He ran home to resume our evening.
But it was safe to say my dad set a precedent that night and it was one that none of us have ever forgotten.
My dad, known as big, my dad known as Big Wave around town is always someone people remember and recognize.
And this just solidified his legacy.
Now that I have kids of my own, I have some goals to reach and at some point I have to top this.
You got to. I'm still friends with several of the people from that night and we all like to talk about it and tell the story to relive the trauma of my dad scaring a shit list to this day.
Even those that weren't there know this story and now know who Big Wave is.
Big Wave for fucking life.
Big Wave. Big Wave.
Big Wave. Anyways, that's my tale.
I hope you enjoyed it.
We did. We did. And I hope Big Wave gives you something new to aspire to.
Yes. Love you witches.
Big Wave. Oh my god.
Is my new goalpost.
Big Wave. Five ever.
Big Wave for life. Big Wave.
Guys, those were awesome.
Oh my god. That was so much fun.
What a beautiful mix of terrifying, hilarious, and so touching.
I'm so glad that we got to get all dressed up and hang out with you guys and we're definitely going to do this again because this is just too fun.
It's too fun to read these tales.
I love this. As other people.
I'm already thinking about what I'm going to be next time.
Me, I'm already thinking about it.
So hopefully this is the beginning of something fun and we hope you guys liked it.
And you know what? We hope you keep listening.
And we hope you Keep It Weird.
Weird. But not so weird that you don't throw ass with the shadow man because why wouldn't you throw ass with the shadow man?
Not so weird that...
Actually do keep it so weird that you have a ghostly ex -boyfriend who talks to you through New Orleans psychic because that was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard in my life.
Don't keep it so weird that you show up to somebody's door with a paper mache mask on to give them...
Keep it so weird that you're going to give them a treat but don't keep it so weird that you don't tell them who you are because that was so scary.
Keep it so weird. Don't ever keep it so weird that you're following little girls on Halloween night and trying to scare them.
Fuck that, I'll kill you.
And always keep it so weird that you're on big waves level.
Never ever sink below big waves level.
Big wave. Big wave.
Big wave. Big wave.
Happy Halloween! We love you!
I hope that was caught on film.
We gotta start the fucking episode like that.
Did you just hear her stomach?
It literally sounded...
Sounded like a lava lamp.
The fuck? Fuck! If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of beloved wife and mother.
But this tragic loss of life quickly turns into something even darker.
Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her.
And she wasn't the only target.
Because buried in the depths of the internet is the kill list.
A cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses and specific instructions for people's murders.
This podcast is the true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger.
And it turns out convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy.
Follow Kill List on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen to Kill List and more exhibit C true crime shows like Morbid early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Check out exhibit C in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.
