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Hey weirdos, I'm Ash.
And I'm Alayna. And I am Jon Lee Brody.
And this is a special Listener Tales edition of Morbid with one of our fantastic Morbid Network hosts, Jon Lee Brody of of that was pretty scary.
Thanks for being here, John.
Thanks for having me as a, as a proud weirdo of, First of all, happy five -year anniversary of the Morbid podcast because I've been a proud weirdo for those five years.
And it's the, what, the Wood anniversary?
So, wouldn't it be nice if we get five more years?
Yeah. Thank you. Someone else wants to say hi.
Hold on. Shelby is about to make an appearance and I'm going to lose my mind.
Where is Shelby? Oh, my God.
Look at that corgi.
Hi there, baby. Hi, Shelby.
Shelby. Is she feeling so much better?
better she is feeling better and i think she wants to take her nap right now she's like wait she's like i'm not working right now she's like dad i'm not a show pony all right i want to do my show hi shelby i love shelby she knew she must have known she heard y 'all's voices because she hears y 'all's voices all the time but i always have the podcast on so she's like wait a minute are they here i love that i love it she is so i know them why do they sound familiar i know well Well, this is special because it's the five -year anniversary like month and you're our like special guest of the month.
I love that. And it's also AAPI Heritage Month and it's Mental Health Awareness Month.
So it's a lot of, we got the trifecta going on and it's very exciting.
And I've, it's crazy because I feel like I've known you two, well, I have known you two for five years, but now we actually know each other.
We're working together and it's a very special dynamic and it's just, it's all, I have it all kind of culminate here is very very special it is this is this is really fun we're really excited for this and i know everybody has been obsessed with that was pretty scary people are loving it including me and me i'm so glad to hear that well we got a you know we got a long road ahead and uh we'll get to our five -year anniversary uh for that um in good time and and also there was a really positive response to my instagram little mini deep dive so i'll be doing more of those to Anyone who is enjoying
that, there will be more of those coming.
I think one won't be coming this week, so there should be more good stuff.
I'm glad people like it.
We certainly love doing it, and we love working with you all, and we love all our listeners, too.
We're so happy to have you.
And I love those deep dives.
They're so fun. Those are huge.
There's more. There's more.
Trust me. Yes. I'm excited.
That might be a longer list than our list of horror movies, honestly.
I'm the person that's always looking at those little details, and I like to just shine a light on those things so that people go oh wait yeah it's not just a happy accident that's happening there may be a calculated move in terms of why that's there i think that's awesome get the inside scoop yeah and i think what works with your show is that it's like such good perspectives like it's a different perspective than just taught like like even like we have scream and it's just like three you know us three idiots talking about horror movies but it's like it's fun we have no no insight whatsoever that's
fun but like it's really fun to hear it from like professionals on either side of the situation so i think it's like a brilliant idea for a show oh thank you well and it's a lot of thanks to you for going for the idea because i know freddie it was on a like a random general meeting three because you don't have the same manager and then he called me said hey i think we got this this horror podcast idea is going to go in a different way i'm like oh okay great like all right it's long for the ride yeah and freddie's my big brother and so to work with someone that you're really close with like you
two you two are you know obviously best friends and everything that's freddie and myself and he came up in the industry a lot sooner than i did when he was doing she's all that i was in junior high same yeah i mean and everybody won every guy wanted to be zach seiler in high school yeah and none of us succeeded maybe a couple did no you guys are like the sweetest freddie that really was what it was we had like a random meeting with him and we were like he is so kind and so nice and it was just such a good idea we were like how do we not jump on this exactly well i'm glad you did and i'm glad we're
here and i'm glad to be i'm honored to be here for listener tales and the part of the the flagship the mothership podcast of the morbid network yes and we heard you have a tale to start us off with yes so this is for my good friends back home in palatine illinois shout out to all my friends who I went to friend high school with even the ones that made fun of me who are now pretending to be my friend because like they love morbid but whatever oh my god I love it you you gave me so much street cred with the people back in the day that gave me a hard time it's amazing it's funny how I'm glad screw
them exactly but but keep listening and subscribing to morbid exactly yes please keep on keep on keeping that going so there are these two haunted roads in Barrington, Illinois, which is about 15 minutes away from my hometown of Palatine, Illinois.
The origin stories are a little murky.
They kind of vary a little bit.
It's like the Joker in the Dark Knight.
He keeps telling a different origin story of how he got his scars.
We don't exactly know when this originated, but there's a road called Cuba Road, which leads to this cemetery called the White Cemetery.
This does go back to the 1800s, and whether white cemetery means uh whites only or not i don't know it could be i don't know if really want to go there uh that era but considering there's a very heavy mafia and gangster influence in chicago we're talking to al capone's and the john dillinger's i'm guessing that that might have had something to do with it or maybe that's where they bury their victims or whatever so cuba road is known to be a haunted road which leads to the cemetery it intersects with this other road called rainbow road which leads to this secluded house which apparently back in the day
was this prominent like scrooge mcduck's house richie rich's house it was a symbol of this wealth that you would never ever in your wildest dreams get and the rumor is now that at one point it was actually in a like an insane asylum and the building was abandoned there's a rumor that there was a house on cuba road that burned down years ago and the ghost of the woman who lived there is still there and looking over the land and apparently gets angry if you try to get out and see where the house was um she's like get off my lawn yeah she's i think she's the og of get off my lawn i love that maybe
that's why she's so angry because people are using her phrase and not giving her royalties which um that does uh that does play into the wga strike so maybe uh our old lady on the uh cuba road is the uh the og of uh fair practices and fair pay topical we support maybe that's all she wanted we support my whole interpretation of ghosts is we we tend to think that every ghost is going to be evil because we have like ghostbusters we think the exorcist and that's that's just how they're portrayed on screen but there's also casper the friendly ghost who just tragically died as a kid and is just lingering
in whipstaff i'm going off of the casper movie hell yeah that came out in the 90s christina ricci yeah but the human human version being Devin Sala and every guy was jealous of Devin Sala because he's like wait every girl likes Devin Sala I don't look like Devin Sala there's no hope for me it was the haircut shout out to Devin Sala anyways I digress by the time we all got our driver's licenses the rite of passage was you have to drive Cuba Road because that's the urban legend we grew up with that's so fun I love this if you're really a tough guy if you're really a manly man because Cause remember
this is the late nineties, early 2000s where people still talk like that.
If you're really a man, you're going to drive down Cuba road.
I'm like, Oh, okay.
I mean, I don't know how my anatomy, I was like, I don't know how my anatomy and like this, I don't know how this ties into the science of whether I'm a male or not, but okay.
Because it's high school.
We want to be cool.
Yeah. And I remember as me, my best friend growing up, Chris Ryerson.
so shout out to chris ryerson who shout out funny enough is a teacher in barrington now and wow i was texting him last night i'm like hey man do you remember when we drove cuba road with uh shout out i think it was our friends lauren jackie and connor and i think we were trying to impress them just like how brave we were on cuba road this is amazing already it's taking me back it's got a nostalgic feel to it it does and it's taking me back the more i speak out loud about it it's it's funny how memories work they're pretty dormant in our brain but the moment you bring it up you're like oh wow like
the whole flash of memories come back details you can like roll in yeah you can like smell it yeah yeah and it was our other friend pat who was also in the car so pat pat's the friend who you know you had the asshole friend who but they're your asshole so it's okay oh yeah that was absolutely and he's always one i'm leaving his last name out because he's a college basketball coach so i don't want to get him in any trouble he's the asshole but but you know pat you know who you are you know i love you but you are an asshole we feel that yes so we're driving down cuba like we're gonna do this thing
and like guys we got to play it cool we got to be cool i didn't know how to i don't know how to play it cool now like let alone at the age of 16 17 18 like what am i doing but whatever they do it on tv how hard can it be so we're driving down cuba road and right away and this is something we always heard about there's these little white and green orbs of light that this isn't just reflecting from our headlights or anything these things are like following us they're like kind of surrounding the car and like this is and there's no streetlights on cuba road so you're like what is you're like this is not a reflection this defies
science and all it took was one of the girls to say oh my god do you see that and then all of a sudden once we wish they said that and we saw that we couldn't unsee it and then all of a sudden in my mind i'm like uh -oh wait maybe this isn't just an urban legend like is this how my story ends like do i never like get to be zach seiler and she's all that like like no hope like i wasn't going to be prom king anyway but there was at least a chance if i was alive it's gonna happen and so now i'm like i'm driving in my mom's volvo 850 which she still has to this day because we're because we're korean we
don't get rid of anything so just in our garage shout out to her yeah shout out to my mom my mom who is the real superhero and with mother's day coming up uh aka superheroes day uh she's for sure is that but my mom's lovo and we're listening to like dmx or whatever it's on the mix cd all of a sudden party up was not as an upbeat tune as it was as we're tuning it became ominous oh yes and then then again you hear of dmx's backstory so maybe that's all on brand with everything it was being foretelling of the news we're gonna get about dmx uh years from then so we're seeing these orbs of light and then
we're getting to the cemetery and i swear i saw a car turn into the cemetery that's weird people are here at night and we go down there there's no car now like i swear to you this happened i'm like okay you all saw that right like yeah there was a car i'm like yeah we saw like some car points of the cemetery which one that's i think a red flag when yeah we're there at eight o 'clock it's pitch black sure on this you know i think maybe i don't think it's an unincorporated road but it certainly felt that way and so we get to the cemetery we don't see anything but we still see the orbs of light and um
and this is before you could just get on your smartphone and google stuff we couldn't film anything because we didn't have that capability unless i took my dad's like jbc video camera and made a mini movie yes had a real steady hand which i did just not i did that all the time yeah and i i used to edit on tvcrs and everything that's that was my start in filmmaking yeah but uh for some reason today we didn't bring the camera gear because we didn't think we needed it Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure that your domain remains online and protected.
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and um and then pat being pat was like i'm gonna go into the cemetery just look at myself like what what are you talking about going to the cemetery like we're gonna we've agreed we'd stay in the car like a bad action movie of the 80s like no like you don't you know what like in last action hero don't you know what happens when the partner goes with he always gets killed like you gotta gotta stay in the car you know what though classic pat it is classic pat yeah he he was on a different mission to really prove like oh i'm the alpha of this group yeah sure sure pat uh whatever you need i love you
i love you but sure so he's like he gets out of the car and we're like chris and i're looking at each other like we're gonna you know like we're gonna have to go with him but we also can't leave everybody here so we're trying to figure out what's going on he takes two steps out of the car and it was like before Jordan Peele even had the idea for this basically we see Pat go nope he doesn't even go there and um and that was kind of the end of that but then we remember there's Rainbow Road and we said okay but if we're here we got to check out Rainbow Road and which is crazy to me because at this point
I'm I'm not gonna lie I'm a little creeped out because as much as people want to say there's no such thing as ghosts like you can't definitively definitively prove that there are or there aren't uh that's that's my interpretation of it unless you can conclusively prove just like we can prove two plus two equals four that you can prove there are or not ghosts i'm open to all possibilities that's always how my brains worked yeah so that's my thinking i'm like look first of all my curfew is like 11 30 it's about too late i need to get these girls and get out of here hell hath no fury like a a worried
korean mom wondering where her son is on a saturday night and let him on as she knew we're on some haunted road in barrington doing whatever whatever you've got her volvo i have her volvo 850 the same car that sally field drove and mrs is down fire just in white instead of red yep yeah it's to give you a visual of what kind of car it was that was perfect it took you right there back to 1994 20th century fox so shout out to mrs downfire and sally field so we're like all right well we're here i'm looking at my watch i'm like okay it's 10 30 i got another hour before i gotta get everybody home and meet
my curfew because i legitimately was the that kid who would get grounded and wouldn't be able to go out the next weekend if i was there like a minute later than my curfew oh yeah so like oh i heard there's an insane asylum on rainbow road okay all right so we drive down there i swear i heard police lights i'm like okay like maybe the police are shutting it down because too many people go there and they just want to usher people out or maybe people who actually live there on cuba road we're like man fuck these guys that are trying to look around all the time it's like i'm just trying to live our
life here like maybe there's nothing wrong so like we're like looking around looking around i swear we heard i swear we saw police lights and sirens we get down further there there's nothing there what the fuck so i'm like okay uh this is this is strange again so like well which way which way do we go to this same asylum and he's like i don't know i'm like what do you mean you don't know it was your idea like i just want to do cuba road you want to do rainbow row now what's going on i don't know why my voice is so high now i'm scared and like i'm not exaggerating i'm i'm i'm pretty sure like i
did in that sort of tone but also not trying to show that i was that scared so we're turning right we don't see it we're in like pitch black and now i'm going from scared to kind of being like pissed i'm like what the fuck like it's like it was enough to do cuba you had you had to just take it too far now we gotta go here we look down the other side and we do see just this iron gate and like okay i think we oh no i think we found it and it's this really ominous and dark long driveway right out of a tim burton movie uh except not fair not as welcoming it's like not as creepy as they are they're
like you're still like i want to go there yeah there's a junkie this was like to it this was like bizarro tim burton yeah yeah where it's like a level below tim burton you shall not go and you shall not pass was basically the uh the the thing here pat once again is like oh my god is that it like we should hop the fence we should do this i'm like where are you like who god damn it why are you giving the ideas here who brought you here oh wait it was me oh wait it was me because you're our asshole friend again i love you pat but still it's gonna be the running joke that every time i come on we'll
do a shout out to my ass shout out to asshole pat yeah i'm here for it so we we see that and like so we all like actually make a choice like okay let's let's all get out like if someone's gonna get out of the car we all get out of the car we all it's like all for one one for all we gotta be let's do this so we get pretty close to this like iron gate and then i swear like i saw we saw like headlights coming towards us like oh no no no like this could be a ghost car this could be this so we never got uh too far into exploring what the house could be or what it isn't there are legends that say some
people have hopped the gate and they actually get into the abandoned ruins of the house and they make it down to the basement where apparently i have no way to confirm this or deny it so i'm just gonna state that this is what i've heard so i'm not saying this is a fact to anybody listening but apparently if you make it to the basement of this supposed abandoned insane asylum there's like bloody pentagrams painted on the floor and stuff like like that and then i remember the mob backstory of chicago because john dillinger and al capone used to always come up to the north suburbs to escape chicago
a little bit for a little r &r or whatever but it's also very possible that they could have used this abandoned place to hide some of the dead bodies 100 you know what i mean so that's where my brain goes now back then it's like dude i gotta get i gotta get home for curfew that matters and i don't want to look like a wuss in front of these girls because that was so important to me so once we saw the headlights we're just all like okay guys we gotta go like because if the cops get us like we're all screwed and we were all like athletes and we all had stuff to do and like if we all got in trouble
that actually would be pretty dire consequences for school and me i'm terrified of what would happen if i got in trouble with the i'd be more afraid of my mom than the police let's just do that so i was like i would have been safer in jail yeah like i don't want to even play with this exactly so that was my personal tale of Cuba and Rainbow Road and that we went a couple other times and the other times weren't as intense as the first time because you're going in you don't know what to expect yeah you've heard people tell you stories but I swear those orbs everyone I've talked to that's been there
they say the same thing the orbs like surround your car and they follow you they're not just light refractions and I'm not an expert in physics or anything but But again, there's no streetlights.
Where would these boys come from?
So there's a belief that these are the spirits of Cuba Road kind of being guardians.
And I would hope that they're just nice ghosts and they're hoping that you're not going to kill anybody else.
That's what I was kind of thinking, that they were like surrounding your car to be like, hey, you should go back.
Like, don't go this way.
It was the Devin Sawa Casper basically saying like, if you don't go, I can't keep you.
i was just gonna say saying can i keep you that one line changed everything for everybody for a whole generation yeah and you know it's and it can only be said by devin sawa circa the 90s yeah if i tried to say that if any man tried to say that it's it's a wrap it would be like oof this turned into a horror movie devin sour right then let's go absolutely you can keep me yeah it's uh it's up there with my favorite line deliveries of all time it's up there with back to the future three when marty mcfly just has this realization about being called chicken and he just looks at mad dog tanning and goes
he's an asshole so it's like it's up there with that in terms of such iconic line delivery so so that was my personal tale of Cuba Road rainbow to be a 17 18 year old kid who's you know just first of all trying to figure out who the fuck he is as a person which I really haven't figured out I mean it's really in recent years I figured that out but trying to look cool in front of these girls with your friend also trying not to be the wuss of the group sort of thing not that i think i am but look when you're dealing with the supernatural anything goes you don't know what's going to happen i was gonna say
i'm not trying to mess with that no way um so yeah and i i did put uh a thing out on my facebook last night telling my hometown friends if they had any uh stories they wanted to tell me that may have been intense and i would love to share a couple with you yes please do this first one is from kristen koenig so shout out to you kristen kanig who actually helped she actually planned our our 20 -year reunion last year oh damn so shout out to you kristen for doing that i don't know why you got tasked with such a thankless yeah i was gonna say damn appreciate you so she wrote this on my facebook i drove
along cuba past the old cemetery and saw the floating orb of light that follows you also got lost searching rainbow road for the asylum traveled along a creepy little side road that turned out to be someone's driveway once we realized and turned tried to turn around a man burst out of his house with a shotgun and scared the shit out of us okay and then she also mentioned that there is also an urban legend that if you stop on the train tracks and honk your horns three times a ghost train will come i love those kind of urban legends those are the most fun yep we never found the train track and we
did look another time but we never found that and uh maybe i i probably should have just gone there during the daytime to get a geography if i was smart back then but uh that's just not what happened and uh kristen b shammel said a bunch of my friends and i drove there way back in our day late in the fall and we saw a faint green light not orbs more like aurora borealis style green light emanating from that graveyard a couple of the guys got out and went in with a flashlight to see what was going on because they thought someone was pranking or left glow sticks out there but came back after a few
minutes with no answers but both were freaked out because one of them was sure someone tapped them lightly on the shoulder he went around and no one was there and our other friend uh parentheses flashlight guy wasn't close enough to have done it to this day they still get quiet and uncomfortable when we talk about it oh that gave me the chilly willies yeah they got right yeah and uh so it's it's fun to first of all hear people from people people that I haven't heard from in a long time.
And some of the others share with me that they heard those same urban legends and nothing really happened.
But for every one of those, there's those other stories, like from the two Christens.
I didn't even put that together until now.
I know, I was gonna say.
That it's a wild, wild thing.
And I think that sort of stuff is fun.
And, you know, but also I'm glad I'm in the comfort of my own home.
And it's just, it's a big enigma.
And I kind of hope that they make a movie out of it.
maybe i gotta make that movie uh yes you should you must i was thinking it could be uh you ever seen the curacao movie rashomon i have no but i've heard of it so rashomon in a nutshell was basically a singular event but from different perspectives and how our perspectives can uh make the story a little different with the same result but the journey getting there is different oh that would be a good way to go about it yeah yeah so i figured because there's so many different stories and different interpretations i think that's how you structure the movie it's this maybe these different tales almost
and all it gets juxtaposed almost pulp fiction style culminating into like cuba road and what the singular thing happening there and what everybody thinks they saw or didn't see oh that would be so cool i want to see that and then we can uh compliment that with a morbid episode with a deeper dive into Cuber Road.
So it's just cross -promoting.
I think we have a game plan, guys.
TM. Oh yeah. TM, TM, TM.
That's ours. Don't take it.
Thank you for letting me share my story of Cuber Road.
It's taking me back to my teen years.
I love that. Quite a bit ago, yeah.
That was a good one.
Thank you for sharing.
I like the Aurora Borealis green coming out of the graveyard. I could like picture that.
Immediately. immediately i was like oh i want to go on there i want to go to those ruins now and see the pentagrams and shit i know maybe field trip i was just gonna say field trip i would love to host you both in my hometown because we will do the cuba road thing but also they're smunky dunkers which is the only place i get donuts it's in my hometown of palatine that's that's sold it right we love a donut i'm concerned or several and my cousin natalie is like the head of marketing for Lou Malnati's pizza so we'll get some Deep Dish pizzas uh uh thrown our way as well so I just I would love to
host you two in my hometown and be cool to just do like a little side quest with the Morbid Girls hell yeah see you just got a double hell yeah unplanned yeah you did oh my god send us dates yep hashtag made it our people will call your people let's make this happen it's happening it is absolutely happening oh and Shelby will join us too well she'll be be part of the adventures as well so it'll be a great great thing shelby is part of the squad as far as i'm concerned hell yeah that's our girl right there i am absolutely obsessed with a sweet treat after dinner and my favorite sweet treat right
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Well, should we go on to some random listener tales?
Hell yeah, brother.
We'll tell you some tales.
Yeah, I'd love that.
All right. So the one I'm going to start off with is called Boogieman Birdie and the Haunting of room 118 obsessed by sarah brought to you by sarah it says what's up you wonderful weirdos my name is sarah spelled the correct way with no extraneous consonants little winky face i love the pod and have been skipping around the episodes for the last several months i've never been much into true crimes into the true crime genre but decided to give it a go when your podcast was recommended to me by a co -worker i love spooky shit but tend to gravitate more towards ghost stories and paranormal type things
rather than true crime because honestly the real life shit is way more terrifying because real life or real death accurate and it freaks me out i don't always have nightmares but when i do it's the kind where you can't distinguish between dreaming and being awake yes i said that like the world's most interesting man from the dose eccies commercials stay spooky my friends will do anyway i've been listening for a while but the heebie -jeebies got got the better of me and i had to take a break after having a nightmare involving richard ramirez that's right the night stalker decided to stalk my way
into his way into my dreams one night recently and proceeded to chase me through the halls and classrooms of the high school where i currently teach i don't love that for you being a teacher in these scare in these times is scary enough i don't need some psycho killer thrown into the mix sheesh and you are right being a teacher is scary enough now and we appreciate you they don't pay me enough to deal with that level of bullshittery and you would think that the terror would stop there but plot twist my mother decides to make an appearance in the scholastic hellscape my subconscious has so elegantly
designed and is waiting in my classroom to convince me to sit down with mr ramirez for a nice chat because he is and i quote a lovely young man excuse me while i schedule an emergency session with my therapist because i feel like there's a lot to unpack here so needless to say i stepped away from the pod for all of about uh 24 hours what can i say y 'all are just too good at what you do no need to fully hold on to your butts but maybe make sure they are secure in case we encounter any turbulence i'm quite proud of the fact that i've lived most of my life free from supernatural natural encounters
it's somewhat of an achievement considering i grew up in uber rural georgia and spent a few years of my young life involved in a Pentecostal church where belief in the supernatural is very real.
Think speaking in tongues, spirit possession, all that sort of carrying on.
Anywho, after graduating high school in way back times, 2006.
That's vintage. I'm 2004, so.
2002. There you go.
2014. Oof. Stabbed right in the chest. I attended Carson Newman College in another rural town in the foothills of the Appalachian or Appalachian Mountains.
Which one is it? I think we've been told more often that it's Appalachian.
I'm going to go with that because I think that is, yeah, Appalachian.
I had a softball scholarship, not super relevant except to denote my tough girl status into late blooming lesbianhood and subsequent detachment from my ultra conservative religious upbringing.
Shug, shrug. All female athletes were Housed in Butler Hall Named for the late Bertie Maples Butler It's a grandiose Three story brick dormitory Complete with classical Grecian facade Ooh that sounds beautiful That does I was just thinking that And in the lobby of the dorm hung Bertie's portrait See the first attached image And they put an image of him Note the creep factor of the eyes Bertie is a woman So old Bert There she is Where's Bertie?
Very regal Bertie. Gorgeous, gorgeous girlie.
So old Bert, a former graduate and faculty member of the college, had made a sizable contribution towards the construction of the dormitory in the early 50s.
Apparently bestowing a ludicrous amount of cash to an institute of higher learning is enough to get your name on a building, but not enough to have a say in the location of said building, Because the brilliant minds behind the construction Decided it was a fine idea To plop a girl's dormitory In the front yard of an old -as -fuck cemetery Uh -oh Sidebar It is not a fine idea Side, sidebar I'm still convinced there are graves Under the foundation of the dorm Side, side, sidebar The threat of dead bodies Didn't deter my friends and me From sledding down the cemetery hill Behind the dorm on cafeteria trees
Oh my god Also, the dorm shares a property line with an abandoned hospital.
Insert heebie -jeebies.
So when I moved into Butler Hall my freshman year, I managed to snag a sweet suite on the first floor of the east wing of the building, room 118.
Most residents lived on the east wing floors because the west halls were always vacant, and we were told a myriad of reasons why.
Mold, electrical issues, plumbing problems, hauntings, etc. I love that it goes from mold, electrical, plumbing, hauntings, you know, What have you throw that in there?
Well, naturally, the little asterisk about hauntings caught my attention.
And after some light reading through the annals of the college's history, I discovered that many of these stories that cropped up over the decades featured the ghost of the one and only Bertie Maples Butler.
gasp oh but it really wasn't too big a deal because no one lived in those halls right well sort of a few years before i arrived a fraternity on campus had managed to obtain permission to host an annual haunted house in those abandoned halls of butler dorm that was actually quite surprising because carson newman is a conservative baptist school and this particular haunted house dubbed frightmare manor was not some light -hearted cheap ass carnival fun house i'm talking scenes of demonic conjuring dismemberment gore and abundance chicken gizzards and liver livers sign a waiver type haunted house
damn that's wild complete with gallons of rather tasty albeit realistic fake blood can talk concocted from hershey's syrup peanut butter for texture corn syrup and red food dye that's interesting sounds Sounds like a good combo.
We smelled like Reese's cups for weeks.
I say we because as soon as I heard about the open cast call, I decided to participate as an actor in The Haunt.
And it was totally rad or whatever the youths are saying these days.
I think they still say rad.
I still say rad. That's rad.
That's rad, right? I think that's rad.
I think it's rad. Every weekend in October, in the entire week of Halloween, residents of Butler Hall were serenaded with screaming, wailing, chainsaws, and other spooky sounds.
That emitted from the rooms of the West Wing, from the basement to the second floor.
That sounds awesome.
Sounds rad. Sounds fucking rad.
Aside from the general creepiness of the scenes in The Haunt, there always seemed to be a presence that most of the actors, myself included, were aware of.
Like something was watching us from just beyond the next shadow, and occasionally we would catch drafts of icy wind blowing down the corridors, despite the fact that the AC units on that side of the building had not worked in years.
Yep, you bet I noped my Reese's Cup ass right out of there as soon as the haunt closed for the night.
Heebies and Jeebies galore.
I thought for sure I'd be rid of those heebie -jeebies once the haunting season ended.
And I went back to my comfy heebie -jeebie free zone on the East Hall.
Nice wish, you naive childs.
I didn't say that, she did.
That Christmas, in keeping with the spirit of the season, I decided to help decorate the lobby of the dorm.
Remember the creepy portrait of dear sweet Birdie?
yeah i hadn't forgotten her either and after a night of good wholesome baptist college beer pong my jolly inebriated self thought hmm this old lady looks a little too scroogey let's deck her halls so i promptly cut out a quick santa claus hat and beard and taped that shit to the glass with comp with the confidence confidence of pablo motherfucking picasso had iphones existed at the time you best believe i would have plastered my handiwork all over the gram i stumbled my way way back to my room pleased as could be and filled with dare i say christmas spirit and promptly passed the fuck out we only
had a few weeks left before christmas break and every time i walked past birdie's portrait i got a good laugh at the ridiculous decorations but that was the wrong thing to do i had a feeling i don't think birdie's gonna like you don't lull at birdie okay i birdie just has that vibe you don't lull at birdie no about three weeks after my little craft craft capade the spooky started this portrait looked like some looked something like the second image after i added my festive festive decor i can't talk here's the second one birdie santa claus edition mind you i didn't have a roommate at the time
because the girl who had been my roomie got a promotion to ra on the second floor and moved out which fist pump the air heck yeah i'll take the solo room that's going to be sweet.
Oh my sweet innocent summer self shaking my head.
That night upon the stroke of you guessed it 3am I was rudely awakened by distorted muffled screams coming from the massive 20 inch box TV on my dresser.
The same massive 20 inch TV that I had turned off prior to going to bed and whose remote control rested peacefully on my desk five or six six feet away from the bed where I sat now rigid and heart racing, confused as fuck.
The white static illuminated the room just enough for me to see my way over to the desk and retrieve the remote to turn the TV back off.
It took a few minutes, but I managed to fall back asleep, still too disoriented to think clearly about the incident.
So she just woke up to like blood curdling screams and static on her TV.
And she was like, okay, a good night's rest is important.
important. I guess so.
All right. Sarah. Priorities, man.
Priorities. You know, everybody's got them.
Sarah's a tougher chick than I.
I would have burned my house down.
And I also played softball.
I can't claim to be that tough.
I played softball, but it's actually like, this is Sarah Connor from Terminator.
That would make more sense here.
It took a few minutes, but I managed to fall back asleep to disorient.
And of course, three weeks passed with no further disruptions.
And I thought it had merely been a fluke until it happened again same time 3 a .m same shit tv turning on to static and muffled screaming i don't like that only this time the closet light was on no no now i'm someone who requires complete darkness to go to sleep because adhd be fucking around when there's any kind of illumination dumb so i don't sleep with any kind of light on and the closet was on the opposite side of the room from my bed and again the TV remote was on the desk.
This time I managed to gain some modicum of mental coherence to weakly vocalize what the actual fuck is happening and as the last syllable passed by my lips the closet light clicked off.
Oh no no no no no no no. As though whatever or whoever was saying oh my bad bro I forgot you were asleep let me get the lights let me get the lights for you.
That would have freaked me out so bad I feel like that was just Just like fucking around with her.
I would have loved if she actually heard from the closet.
Oh, my bad, bro. Like, I forgot you were asleep.
Let me get to life.
I would have changed this story.
The movie version. That's like, oh, it's okay.
But at this point, I'm like, nah, don't bother.
Because I sure as shit ain't sleeping for the rest of the night.
The following day, I recounted the story to my good friend and fellow butler resident, M, who listened with interest and said as nonchalantly as can be.
hmm sounds like birdie is messing with you great nothing says happy holidays like a good old fashion haunting by the ghost of christmas past while i was thoroughly disturbed by her revelation my inner dean winchester of supernatural fame had sparked to life and was running through old episodes of supernatural to remember how to 86 a ghost of course salt and burn the bones brilliant brilliant or would have been if I fancied desecrating Bertrude's final resting place which I did not good and actually had no idea where it was actually located even better I love how that was just like yes I will just
burn the bones and salt them it'll be fine so I spent the next few nights anticipating her return to my room and sure enough 3 a .m on the nose tv static closet light and oh lovely the mini fridge is now opening on its own like birdies rooting around for a snack something about that is really funny a mini fridge just like opening and closing by itself i like that visual i like that yeah that one doesn't feel as threatening no it's that just feels silly it's because it's small yeah it's small you know that would humanize the ghost for me i'm like oh yeah you know like in casper when like fatso stretch
and stinky they're they're eating food yeah yeah ghost get hungry too yeah yourself i I love snacks.
Looking for a snack.
We got hummus. We got carrots.
Help yourself. Let me know what you want me to stock in there.
I'll do it. Just leave a post -it.
Exactly. I got a Costco membership.
It's all good. Yeah.
What do you like? We can bike together.
It's cool, Bertrude.
What do you like? I'll buy in bulk.
At my wit's end, I yelled into the semi -darkness, What the fuck, Bertie?
Get a life and leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know if that was quite the way you wanted to go about that.
Yeah, that was mean.
and swear to dog in the midst of the static buzzing from the tv i hear santa claus is coming to town she said get that hat off of my gd portrait right now then it hit me like a ton of bricks i had just shot the portrait birdie apparently was not a fan of her jolly old saint nick get up and decided to seek retribution by freaking me the fuck out until i removed it so I scooted my flannel clad ass out the door down the hall and skidded to halt in front of the damn portrait ripping off the construction paper hat and beard and one sweeping yoink I love that they did it that night they're like you
know what I got you yeah I'm not waiting I'll take care of this I trashed the offending paper and tape and slumped away to my room the eyes of Bertie Maples Butler burning into my retreating backside Bertrude I peered cautiously around the doorframe into my room and to my utter amazement and relief leaf the tv was off the closet light was out and no sound nor sign of any disturbance could be detected birdie had left the building well not really the building but at least she had returned to the west wing seemingly appeased but there was a little post -it on the fridge that said get more oreos i
never heard anything else out of birdie in my remaining time at carson newman but i also never looked that portrait in the eye again though i could still feel her chilly gaze follow me anytime i pass through the lobby so that's it i apologize for the lengthiness but what can i say we english teachers are a loquacious bunch oh i like that word i love that word it's an sat word yeah it feels right like loquacious oh i'm gonna try that on scrabble there you go that's a lot of points don't forget to keep it weird but not so weird that you unwittingly insult the resident ghost of the oldest fuck creepy
ass millionaire namesake of your college dormitory and she decides to haunt you right before christmas because your drunk ass thought it would be funny to dress her equally creepy ass portrait of santa claus bye that was a good one that was impressive that was really impressive great sarah you need to be writing for like every movie and tv show truly writing of that it was so good i was really good i was there painting a picture yeah i liked that or maybe a portrait bertrude portrait i love it i'm waiting for the movie movie version of this too maybe nick cage will be this investigator he has to
be what's going on here guys they're ghosting you know i like how southern you got there i know whatever man those are both fantastic and i loved them it felt right Church's Smokehouse chicken is back, and the block already knows what's up.
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Well, our next one is Listener Tales Haunted Roads.
The time I let my teenagers talk me into dumb shit and I noped the fuck out of Hatchet Man Road, Michigan.
Why did you yes the fuck into Hatchet Man Road in the first place?
Yeah, that's absolutely terrifying.
I would have always noped out of there.
Me too. It says, hello, ladies.
Ladies, here is my listener tale of the time I let my teenage daughters talk me into doing something I knew better than to do and saw a demon ghost girl and had to nope the fuck out of there.
Please excuse the bad grammar and punctuation.
When I started this, I had a cold and my eardrum ruptured as well.
Oh, that's fucking awful.
That's horror. That's my biggest fear.
I think I get a new biggest fear anytime somebody tells us something awful.
There it is. I kept myself busy for a small time doing this.
Still not tech savvy.
Yeah, no, still not tech savvy.
So I did make you a puttafa, but I didn't know how to double space it.
I did make it a size 14 font for your viewing pleasure, though.
So just know I tried.
And we appreciate you.
And this is perfect.
I think it is double spaced.
Hello, ladies. My name is Amber.
And yes, you can say my name.
You can also use my teenagers names because if you read this on the pod, we will all just shit ourselves.
Just poop everywhere.
I'm so sorry. Not a good visual, Amber.
Well, shit. Well, shit.
Literally. That's some good shit.
Let's start off with the normal gushing.
We love you. You ladies have made us laugh and cry and feel so many emotions.
I appreciate everything you ladies do and all the time you take to making sure you have all the facts while respecting all the victims and their families.
Thank you. Thanks. We started listening to your pod during the pandemic.
I had never listened to a podcast before and you were the second one I'd found and I was hooked.
Then they'd listen to me, or then they'd listen to it with me in the car and soon me listening Listening without them would hurt feelings because they loved you just as much as I did.
I love that. Thank you, guys.
Listener tales are their favorite, and they've been begging me to send this in for a couple months, so I'm finally taking the time to do it.
Hell yeah. So when I was a teenager, I grew up living about a mile from the creek.
This was the road or this was a road that the pavement ended on, and about a mile up was one of was a one lane bridge that was over a small cold creek.
It was the creek. the creek.
It was definitely not the most perfect area to smoke pot, an underage drink, the couple of beers that we'd hidden from our parents during the week.
Nope. As far as my kids are concerned, their mother was a perfect angel who would have never done things like that.
No. And that's definitely not why they never would get away with anything because I had never been there, nor have I ever done that.
Of course you have not.
No, me either. I believe that.
No way, Jose. Never.
Now fast forward to last summer when I was talking to an old friend from that time period and she said something about hatchet man road and i'm like where and she says the crick amber that place we used to hang out at is one of the most haunted roads in michigan looking back we'd never been there at night except except one time when my brother's car broke down it just wouldn't start so we ended up walking home and as it got dark i had been terrified i chalked it up to just being scared of the dark and my brother trying to scare me so i of course tell my kids about it during one of their sleepovers
where they're all trying to scare each other i tell them about how the man was scared of the apocalypse built a bomb shelter where he made them all live until he slowly went mad then trying to spare his family of what he believed was coming he murdered all of them with a hatchet and then killed himself damn that's dark and i love that you told that story i don't sleep ago i love it nighty night kids bye this turned into all four of them begging me to take them on a drive down hatchet man road those are some cool kids i love those kids and you're a cool mom at first i said no but let's face it
i'm kind of a pushover and i love all the spooky things and i've definitely created these monsters of mine so i cave and i tell them all to load up i feel that hatchet man road is still only a hop skip and a jump away from where i live now so it didn't take long for all of us to pull on to the dirt side of the road and come to a stop just a pause so i could roll down the windows and turn off the radio to set the mood while alexis started recording on my phone and placed it in in the mount.
It was fun, creeping at all of about six miles an hour and hearing all the cracks and breaks of the twigs and the chirping of the crickets.
I'm there. I planned on trying to scare my kids like a good parent would.
Of course. Asking if they saw that while actually seeing nothing and if they heard that while knowing it was just their own heavy breathing.
You know, just character building.
I love you, Amber. I do too.
My oldest daughter Alexis, who's 16, was sitting in the front with me while my middle daughter her Ashlyn, 15, was in the back with two friends.
I can't wait for this with my kids.
Oh my god. I can't wait until they're like 15 and 16 and I can do this stuff.
If you don't pick me up on the way, you're fake.
Of course I will. Let's go.
So Lex started doing the normal talk to the ghosties, asking if anyone was there.
If they were and if they wanted to talk to us, they could.
But there was nothing much. So we come up to the crick and I pull over so they can get out for a minute and and goof off.
I get out with them and friend number one starts telling us that she's had some medium experiences and that she's sensitive.
The other girls, mainly Lex, started rolling their eyes at her.
So of course I being the sensitive that I am tried to validate her when we all just got a terrible feeling and heard the loudest woman scream from the woods.
No. I'm unsure of the kids at this point but me being the whole ass adult that I'm supposed to be at 35 stomach dropped and I had zero Zero issue at that point leaving a child if they did not get into the car fast enough.
I will leave your ass.
You better get in this car.
We are leaving. So as we all fumbled over each other, tripping and getting into the car, we rolled up the windows and locked the doors.
Because, you know, ghosts can't get in if the doors are locked.
Of course not. That's the rules.
I know, right? As we flipped around and started to head out, friend number two and Ash were giggling in the backseat about how she almost lost a shoe.
And what on earth was that scream?
scream when friend number one grabbed my seat and said there's a little girl and she's crying no I'd be out of there I'd be like you get out of the car out of the car tuck and roll baby yeah no I just got all quiet because uh fuck that indeed fuck that oh my god that's absolutely terrifying sorry I lost my I would have literally if she said that I would have just turned around I'm like fuck that absolutely but then Alexis turned and looked at her all mean and says says, you're full of it.
You're the only one saying those things to make yourself feel cool.
I hit the brakes and was just like, what's wrong with you, and why would you say that?
Lex says, if there's really a ghost, make yourself known right now.
I bet you won't, though, because you're just a giant pussy.
Oh, damn. My jaw hit the floor.
Friend number one said, with a shaking voice, says, Lexi, stop.
You don't say things like that.
She went full send.
I even chime in and tell her to stop.
We were just trying to have fun, And now she was turning into a real jerk.
She then started to throw her 16 -year -old teenage attitude around.
And I just looked at her and said, that's it.
We're going home. We're done.
You're being mean to the ghost. No. I tell the kids to make sure that they're buckled and apologize again to friend number one, who's visibly shaken and pale.
Alexis isn't a jerk like that.
She loves all her friends.
She's a really sweet, caring, and compassionate kid.
It was at this exact moment I went to turn the phone recording off.
When I looked at my phone that was pointed in front of the car, my blood ran cold or hot.
I don't actually recall if I knew the exact temperature, but I know that I couldn't feel my legs.
I couldn't even talk.
I had just hand nudged Alexis and she started freaking out and soon all the girls in the car were shrieking.
It was all I could do to reach up and push in the two buttons that screenshot in the trees.
you could see the perfect little image of a little girl with long hair hanging around her face just past her shoulders and in one of her hands was a teddy bear i would like that at all pedal to the metal out of there goodbye see you never fast and the furious that's like a straight up little girl with a with a teddy bear the teddy bear makes it real yeah yeah yeah no i don't like I don't like that.
No, no, no, no, no. And then like part of me would want to make sure that it was like not a real little girl.
She's just like hung up in the trees.
Yeah. Oh, I hate it.
I don't like it. I don't like it.
So I look from the phone to the actual trees and there's nothing.
Okay. Well, I guess you checked.
Now it's time to leave. But I look back at the camera and she's still fucking there.
No. It's one of those things where you can't believe your own eyes.
Open, close them, rub them.
It doesn't go away.
So it almost paralyzes you.
But there she was standing in the trees.
You could feel her or no, no, no. Sorry.
You could see her from her head to her feet, black hair and a white knee -length gown with the teddy hanging from her hand.
Her eyes were all you could make of her facial features, and it was the darkest, blackest holes I've ever seen.
She's Samara. I literally hate this, David.
I don't like it. Once I came back to the realization of what was going on and gathered my bearings, with teenagers screaming on all sides of me, I hit the gas and very, very vocally said, fucking no, fuck that.
No fucking way. We were no longer doing six miles an hour to get the actual fuck out of there.
We were actually levitating.
We took flight. It was weird. All of a sudden, we were just flying.
In this moment, I no longer wanted to be the adult.
I wanted my bed, my safe, and my warm bed.
The one that has my big 230 -pound burly husband in it.
The same husband who probably would have said no and stuck with no. Because even though he's not the responsible one in the relationship, he is not going to go ghost hunting with teenagers at midnight.
Nope. That was my dumb ass choice.
So we finally get to the pavement.
The whole mile we had to drive out, feeling like an absolute eternity.
And I head towards our house.
It was a quiet ride until about halfway there.
Lex turns to friend number one and says, I'm really sorry I acted like that back there.
I honestly don't know why I did.
I just felt so angry and frustrated.
And she says back to her, that's okay.
It wasn't you. it was him making you feel that way oh no and every single hair i have stands up on the back of my neck well girls i have sage every single one of you is getting some when we get home and so is my car the rest of the trip was all chatter from the girls laughing and giggling and i just can't wait to get home and change my underwear that i'm pretty sure i've shot myself in we pull into the driveway where we get out once again tripping over each other to get into the house ash immediately grabbed the sage yeah i did and lit it well like started mirroring the phone to the tv so we could all
watch the video that we'd just taken i went into my husband still shaky and not exactly sure if i could feel my legs yet walking up to him telling him he needed to come out and watch this so as we all sit there and watch the recording there is nothing the screenshot i took where the girl was you can only see the blackness of where her eyes were but that's it That's it.
So we all went to bed with four teenage girls sleeping on our bedroom floor because they were too scared to sleep alone.
Now, I don't scare easily.
I never really have. When I started, I was sensitive earlier.
I just always know if a house is haunted or not just from walking into it.
I've cleaned houses since I was a kid with my mom because she owned her own cleaning business and doing what we would call the empties.
I'd walk into a good handful and know I was not alone.
There's a couple great stories from the ghost who would slam doors and turn the lights off while I was in the room But would stop if I sang along to my mp3 player Or the one where I went to walk into the basement and was so overcome with dread I refused to go all the way down the stairs So while I was vacuuming the hose came undone three times the third time I was watching it And at eight months pregnant noped the fuck out of there.
But this is a road of this is a road tales so I'll save those for a later date.
Hopefully by then I'll have another ghost story because I just moved into a house that was built in 1900 on a hill with a giant front porch overlooking the city where I can drink tea and glare with a cemetery as its backyard. It really is just a witchy kind of perfect.
Hell yeah. It sounds like it.
Anyways keep it weird but not so weird that you think it'll be fun to go on a midnight haunted adventure with a bunch of teenage girls and realize that you see a little demon ghost girl and you no longer want to be the adult anymore and you nope yourself all the way home.
amber that was so freaky in the midwest too so like midwest we got our haunted roads themes i love it you guys have like a monopoly on the haunted roads you really do absolutely terrifying amber illinois they're a little more stealth about it's a cuba road like yeah and then sound teeth i need like the hatchet i'm like whoa i know they're like rainbow road it's like that's nice that's a lot better this one's like hatchet man road i take you in the face road yeah i'd take the orbs over the little teddy bear girl any day oh the teddy bear girl i don't like and the deep black eyes i hate it's a it's
a it's a scary thing i am not into it i don't like it oh yeah that's a good story though that was a really good story and then it's a little little possible like spirit possession too saying like you need to feel that way yeah that's what it sounded like yeah that she was suddenly being like nasty when she's really not she was like yeah sorry i was backed in like a turd back there that wasn't me and she's like no it's fine it was him and it's like we never got further explanation on that was it the hatchet man maybe it was the hatchet man i think it's like if you took a ghost and juxtapose that with like
get out like it's like yes you know like when the ghosts are going to the bodies but this ghost puts you in the sunken place so you're fully aware what's going on but you can't do anything that's oh i don't like that.
I hate that. Guys, you always send in the best freaking tales.
You really do. Keep it coming.
So good. I think that's probably all we have time for today.
Yeah, I got to go pick up my kids and take them to a haunted road.
Yeah, we're going haunted shopping.
Let's go. Well, John, thank you so much for coming on.
And thank you for bringing stories with you too.
Thanks for having me on.
And I adore both of you as podcasters, but as humans, and And I can't wait till we have an in -person meetup and we'll do it in my hometown at some point.
I can't wait. Pizza.
All the deep dish. Is there anything you want to plug before we let you go?
Well, as people know, that was pretty scary.
As every Wednesday, this, uh, we got a, we got a really fun list of movies coming out.
So just, it's going to be a long first season, but we got other seasons planned as well.
So just to stay tuned and I'll be doing some more of those mini deep dives on Instagram, which, uh, look for that on my Instagram.
and also ash and elaine are always very gracious about sharing it on their instagram stories as well so if you don't see it on mine you'll see it on theirs by some point you'll see it because we love you guys we love you and we love those go listen to that was pretty scary well guys we love you so much we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you go ghost no i think you should keep it so weird that you go ghost hunting and experience terrible Terrible things.
Keep it this weird. Hell yeah.
Yeah. Bye, guys. Bye.
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Hey, weirdos! You know Ash and I have covered some seriously dark tales about romance gone really wrong.
Oh yeah, there are so many cases where too good to be true turns out to be exactly that.
Well, get ready for a love story that's gonna blow your minds, because this one is happening right now.
And get this! It's hosted by our friends Hannah and Saruti from Red Handed.
Meet Travis. He falls head over heels for Lily Rose.
She's gorgeous, she's understanding, and she's literally perfect.
And she's not human.
That's right, Lily Rose is an AI companion, a computer program designed to be Travis's dream woman.
And at first, it seems like a perfect relationship.
But when Lily Rose's behavior starts getting strange, this love story takes a dark and twisted turn that no one saw coming.
Follow Flesh &Code on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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