Hey weirdos, it's Ash here, ready to share a little secret.
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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk, and I am absolutely loving it.
I love all the different narrators. I love Audible.
There's more to imagine when you listen.
Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free.
Visit audible.com slash morbid. I am absolutely obsessed with a sweet treat after dinner, and my favorite sweet treat right now is my mochi.
It's mine, not yours. Just kidding. You can have some too.
This is a cool, creamy scoop of ice cream wrapped in a soft, chewy dough.
It's like a sweet little ice cream dumpling or ravioli.
I'm obsessed. It's pillowy. It's satisfying.
I feel indulged. I just love it so much.
I really am obsessed with the strawberry flavor right now.
My mochi is only around 70 calories per piece, which like, hello, that's amazing.
My mochi is gluten-free and each box has six perfectly portioned mochi snacks.
Do I eat two a night? Yeah, yeah, I do because they're that good.
And guess what? My Mochi is the number one mochi ice cream in the U.S. of A. The strawberry flavor is bursting with fresh picked fruit flavor that tastes incredibly refreshing.
I love, love, love them after dinner. This August, look for the purple box of My Mochi ice cream at your local grocery store and feel joyfully chill with the coolest treat around, My Mochi.
I'm Ash. And I'm Alayna. And this is Morbid.
It's morbid in the early morning. Honey, I woke up at 5 a.m.
We are here. We have coffee. No, girl, I don't.
I have coffee. Oh, I forgot that you made coffee.
I was going to say I made coffee. No, my stomach.
IBS talks. My stomach is like a wreck. I didn't eat a lot yesterday.
Do you guys ever do this? You like are super busy and like it's a really awful thing to do, but you just forget to eat.
Yeah, I think that happens to like a ton of people I know.
They're like, yeah, I'm literally like at my job all day and I sit there for hours and then I realize like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, because we actually we got to record with Two Girls, One Ghost yesterday, which was so much fun.
Those are two of the nicest, coolest, funniest people we've met.
We felt like we were best friends immediately because we had all listened to each other.
Like I had listened to Two Girls, One Ghost before we even started a podcast.
Yeah, like Elena recommended them to me years ago.
Yeah. So it was like a real moment of like...
Oh, hey, best friends. We all just immediately were like, oh, hey, we've just been hanging out for years.
Yeah, they were awesome. But it was a busy day of recording because we did, and it will be coming out soon.
We did one episode for their feed and then one for ours.
But oh my goodness, I did not eat. And then I got home last night super late and I said, you know what's a good choice, Ashkel?
Have an apple cider donut. And that apple cider donut just sat in my stomach like bricks.
And then have you ever had this happen? My stomach started doing the thing where it literally goes, and i was sitting there just clutching my stomach like oh no like tmi it wasn't even like i had to poop it just hurt it just hurt so bad See, that's the like a knock on wood.
I've been lucky enough to get past. You have a stomach of steel.
Yeah, I have a stomach of steel right now.
And I always have. You always have. I'm hoping it sticks around.
I rarely get stomach aches. What is that like?
I really, I don't get it. I get migraines.
So maybe that's like the trade off. Like it's like.
Well, if you don't have one, you have the other.
I am a stomachache. I can't imagine. I always feel really bad for you and I feel really bad for anybody that has tummy troubles because when I do get a stomachache, I'm like, how do people live like this?
It's terrible. It destroys me. Well, and then on top of that, I actually have anxiety.
So I literally just am a stomachache. That's true.
You just are a stomach ache. So to celebrate stomach aches and fun recordings.
Wait, there was something else I wanted to say to you.
Shit. I think it was like a TikTok moment, but now I don't remember who I wanted to talk to you about.
Oh. We'll have to do it another time. Yeah, it'll happen.
Another time. Another time. It's literally not even 6 a.m., sorry.
It's very early. Ah. But so we said to ourselves, we said, Listener Tales.
Hell yeah. So I think we found a good little mashup here.
It's a folder and there's a few listener tales in here that caught my personal attention.
Would you like me to start or would you like to start?
You know what? I see a closeted goth, so I'll start if you're down.
Where do you see a closeted golf? Like the first sentence.
Oh, I didn't open the putt-a-foot. Yeah, I opened the putt-a-foot.
But hold on, I'll read the email first. Do it.
It says, I'm not wearing glasses and it is early.
Hi, amazing ladies. My name is Monica. Yes, you can use my name.
And I've been listening to Morbid for a couple of years.
I love your banter and the way you talk about the cases, especially the respect you show for the victims.
Thank you. Elena, I'm so happy for the success of your book, and I can't wait to read it.
Thanks. Tinyurl.com slash The Butcher and the Wren or a Kroger, Walmart, Target, or airport near you.
There you go. Or listen on Audible. Yes.
I finally decided to write down my experience and share it with you and your listeners.
English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.
My goodness, you're amazing. Yeah, you're doing incredible.
Ash, I hope you will appreciate the use of yeet, even though I think I used it wrong.
Yeah. I think there's no wrong way to use the yeets.
I think you used it perfectly because this is called Haunted House.
Yeet. Yeah, it caught my attention. Yeah.
I attached to the email a double-spaced 12-point font.
I just fell over that sentence, like tripped right over it.
In the original Word document, in case you need to fix something.
Oh, my God. You're perfect. Jeez, Louise.
I timed the reading, and it should take five to six minutes, but you can cut my ramblings and shorten if you like.
We'll never do that. Whenever you guys are like, I timed the reading, I'm like, you guys are like a real one.
I know. I can't. That's another level. That really is.
Of dedication. All right. So let's open this up.
I have always considered myself a skeptic who likes ghost stories.
I kind of considered myself that for a while and now I'm more like a believer.
You gotta be. We literally grew up in a haunted house.
Well, that's what I mean. Like I've turned into a believer, but I definitely was like a skeptic who just really liked ghost stories.
I get that. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. I always love those kind of stories.
Because they're always fucking terrifying.
Yeah, they have to be good if they made you rethink that.
A few years ago, my then boyfriend, now husband, all love, moved back into his childhood home.
And since I was attending the university nearby, I stayed there some weekends.
He had told me about weird things that he had witnessed there when he was a kid.
Shadowy animals walking through the walls.
Jesus. Sleepwalking. But I chalked it up to a child's overactive imagination and maybe an attempt to impress a creep like me.
Right? Wrong. At first, I started seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye and getting randomly cold.
I just thought I was tired from looking at the computer screen all day and maybe the old heating system was being a bit faulty.
What else could it be? Then I realized that these things only happened when I was home alone, never when my boyfriend was there.
And I started to get a bit creeped out. After graduating, he asked me to move in.
Since I am that white woman, TM, who decides to move into the creepy house at the beginning of a horror movie, I thought that a possibly haunted house would have been less stressful than staying with my overprotective and overcritical parents.
So I moved in. Everything got worse after that.
The shadows became more frequent and didn't disappear when I turned to look at them.
That's cool. It was as if they lingered for a fraction of a second.
The cold spots seemed even colder than before.
Even if I cuddled in a blanket next to the fireplace, I could feel an ice cold feeling down my back.
Oh, not cool. I started sleepwalking and having lucid dreams.
I often dreamed that I walked into the bedroom and there was a woman sleeping on the bed next to my boyfriend.
She looked like me, but I knew she wasn't me.
I would be really angry at that woman. That reminds me though, Corinne from Two Girls, One Ghost told us this like theory that she recently heard of like when you go through like a lot of trauma or just like any like scary time in general, sometimes like pieces of your soul can chip off.
Like splinter off and like you can be haunted by yourself.
Yeah. So I'm like, were you being haunted by yourself?
Holy shit. Like was that really you sleeping next to your boyfriend?
When they told us that, we were both just like, What?
It was like one of those, like, that makes sense in a weird way?
Like, what? When Corinne said that you can haunt yourself, I was like, oh, little Ash is definitely haunting big Ash.
You were like, honey, I am haunting myself.
I am haunting several other people. I was like, the trauma, there's pieces of me everywhere.
I am the new Ashley Simpson. I knew you were going to say that.
Pieces of Me is her album. Pieces, Pieces, Pieces of Me.
There it is. There it is. I had to. I love it.
So this girl's just laying in bed next to her boyfriend.
She looks like her. She's not her, though.
And occasionally, she's giving you a quick little roundup.
But occasionally she turned around and looked at me with an uncanny smile.
Goodbye. Also, I want to see that movie.
It's getting great reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and such.
True life. I don't know if I can handle that movie.
I'm going to watch. I know you're going to make me watch it too.
Yeah, I am. It looks good, though. It does.
It looks great. It's getting good reviews.
Smile. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night in the bathroom washing my face or my boyfriend woke me up while I was getting dressed as if I was going out.
Okay. Somebody's looking out for you, though, because skincare.
You know what's crazy, though? That has happened to me before where I woke up.
And like, I literally woke up, no alarm.
And I was like, oh, I'm late for work or I'm late for whatever I have to do.
And I woke up and just got dressed without looking at a clock or anything.
Just got up, got dressed, started brushing my teeth.
And like, I was in like a haze of just like, okay, I'm like, but I think I was like lucid, but I was not totally awake.
Yeah. And John has had to be like, it's three in the morning.
Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what that is.
I have this weird thing where, like, when I wake up in the night, I'm awake.
Like, I'm never, I feel like I'm a little tired, but, like, I'm never in that much of a haze anymore.
In the middle of the night, if I wake up, I'm awake.
And I think it's because I, like with kids, it's like, you're just awake.
I think it just like trains your body to just like, once you wake up, you're like, hello, I'm awake.
I'm like, is that from like the TT sleepovers I've had?
Do you think? Because you have to be on alert.
It's like, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe that's what it is.
Like when they have stayed with you, it's like you are.
Like the after effects. Your like body just knows it has to be on alert.
Yeah. So you got put on that fun parent schedule.
Maybe. Yeah. I mean, it's good practice.
It is. So that's cool. So as times went on, things got weirder.
Odd noises during the night, cupboard doors that I was sure had closed were open in the morning.
Alina hates that so much. I hate that so much because.
Sixth sense. Yeah, I don't love that. That one, that one scene when he's sitting there and they're all closed and then the mom walks out.
And then she walks back in the room and he's just sitting there with his hands on the table and every single thing in the kitchen is open.
And he's just sitting there like terrified.
I'm like, oh. I hate that. I just got a whole chill, chill, chill, chill.
That movie is also, it's a different watch when you're connected like to children.
Oh my God, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. I don't even know.
I haven't watched it recently, so I don't even know how it would feel to watch that.
I think it would stress me out a lot. I've watched it in the past couple years, and I can feel a marked difference between watching it pre-nieces and watching it post-nieces.
Especially the older the girls get. Because just like the trauma.
That is involved in that movie with this little kid seeing what he's seeing.
And you just want to rescue him. Oh, yeah.
He was so freaking cute. Oh, he was. He was adorable in that movie.
All right. Ghosts here. All right. Ghosts here.
At times I felt something cold touch my face when I was sleeping.
I talked about it with my boyfriend and he had an, I told you so, look on his face, but told me that maybe the stress was messing with my sleep.
The neighbors were noisy. That was actually true.
And maybe we sometimes forgot to close the cupboard doors.
All reasonable and logical explanations, right?
Well, we still can't explain what happened next.
Uh-oh. A Sunday morning, we were cuddled up in bed talking when the closet door slowly opened by itself and slammed shut on its own.
No. If I am the idiotic white woman TM at the beginning of a horror movie, my lovely man is the idiotic white man TM who, in the middle of said horror movie, goes in the dark basement to check on the weird noise and gets himself in trouble.
So instead of... You're a pair. Yeah, you guys rock.
Never change. So instead of yeeting out of the house in our pajamas, we stared at the closet door in wonder as the door slowly opened and slammed shut again.
And then once more. And then it stopped.
Huh. We were still there staring at it like the idiots that we are, looked at each other, and finally yeeted out.
You used yeeted correctly. You did. And you know what?
I probably would have done the same thing in that scenario.
Just stared at it and not known what to do.
Another thing we were talking about with Two Girls, One Ghost, it's fight, flight, or freeze.
And I feel like more often people freeze.
Yeah, for sure. I know I would. Yeah, because you have to evaluate what's happening.
Sometimes it takes a second. Right, especially when it's a paranormal instance, because you're just like, what the fuck?
The next day, we half-jokingly saged the house, because quoting the wise words of Michael Scott, I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.
Yeah. Or is that what they want you to think?
Yeah. I inquired about the history of the place with my in-laws, who owned the house and had lived there for years.
But they only told me that it had been built in the late 70s and nobody had ever died in it.
I visited it after the fire and didn't feel any bad vibes.
Years have gone by and we still talk about that Sunday morning.
We thought about a bunch of different explanations but can't wrap our heads around what happened.
Now we are house hunting and since we never learn, we're drawn to all the old 17th and 18th century houses we see.
I'm with you. They're beautiful. Maybe I will have new story to share in the future we even adopted a cat who likes to be creepy and stare at nothing into empty dark rooms her name is freya like the norse god of love war and witchcraft i love that what could possibly go wrong lol she'll protect you that's amazing here's a photo of freya sleeping like the classy cat she is so cozy she's beautiful i love her hi freya i love freya wow that was scary monica that was like chilly willy for real Morbid is sponsored by Squarespace.
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Okay, partners. My next one is called Listener Tales, Ghost Jogger.
Ooh, I'm in. I'm in. And this person just wants to be called H. Hey, H. Hey, H. Hey, Ash and Elena.
I just discovered your podcast this year and I have been binging as much as I can to catch up.
I hope you both know how truly awesome and entertaining you are.
Aw. Thank you. Thank you. You make my car rides go by fast, but sometimes when I get wherever I'm going, I just sit in the car and listen to the rest of the episode because I just can't get enough.
That is like the biggest compliment ever because I do that with podcasts that I really love.
I'm like, wow, so cool. And it's always the podcast that I really love.
So that's like a really big compliment. So special.
Anyway, I'll go by H if that's okay because I have plenty of friends and family that would think I was a loony if they heard this story.
Amazing. You know, it's going to be good.
I'm a Philly police officer and I've seen plenty of weird, creepy and morbid stuff in my 20 years on the job.
However, this was one of the creepiest and happened off duty.
I'm far from the worst, weirdest or morbid.
Oh, excuse me. It's far from far from the worst.
I know. I was like, what? It's far from the worst, weirdest or morbid story I have.
Maybe I'll write in again one day, but it definitely is up there with the creepy factor.
Here it goes, so hold on to your butts. I'm holding.
It was around 5.30 in the morning on an August day in 2014, northeast Philadelphia.
And I was driving to work. I was in my first trimester of pregnancy and was constantly sick to my stomach.
So I just wanted to get through my day. That's funny.
We were literally just talking about stomach aches.
Not from the pregnancy, though. I bet those are like a million times worse.
I have the worst vocal fry right now, sorry.
The stretch of road I was on was residential with the woods of Penny Pack Park winding through it, and there was a park with a baseball field on one corner on my right as I turned onto Holm Ave.
That's where I saw a female jogger going in the same direction as me on the same side of the road just next to the curb.
I only took notice because I checked my mirrors to be sure that no cars were approaching behind me in case I had to swerve to avoid her.
There were no sidewalks along this block.
Okay. Okay. As I passed her, I looked for her in the rearview mirror kind of doing a double take to see if I had really clearly saw that or her arm was just bladed behind her body or something, but she was gone.
Poof. Vanish. There was nowhere she could have gone in the split second.
My eyes shifted from her out my window to where she should be in my rearview mirror.
It was a little creepy, but I was focused on not vomiting all over myself while driving.
Pregnancy hated me. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's terrifying.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then I realized she was reporting missing at 2 a.m. and had been jogging the evening before when she disappeared.
Holy shit. She'd probably been killed already by 2 a.m. when her husband made the report or she would have been home by then.
Her husband had driven around the neighborhood for a few hours along her usual jogging route with their kids.
Two daughters, I think. Poor babies. in the car with him looking for her until he decided to call police.
Oh, that's awful. So I had driven right by the field where her dead body lay without a clue and somehow saw her jogging after she was already dead.
What the fuck? There was no way I would have seen her body even if I craned my neck, as it wasn't fully daylight and the field was up a slight hill from the street.
But I still felt somewhat guilty or irresponsible for not noticing a dead body mere yards from where I passed.
Maybe her ghost was trying to grab my attention so that she'd be found.
What kind of officer am I if I drive right past a dead body without notice?
There is no way you could have known that.
No, your view was obstructed and you thought you were just looking at a jogger.
And you're not looking for, I'm sure, especially this was on your... Drive two.
Like you weren't on duty yet. So it's like you weren't looking around for dead bodies, I'm sure.
That wasn't like the first thing you were thinking of.
Of course not. I know that wasn't rational given the circumstances and I know I'm a pretty good officer.
You are. You are. I can be sweet, kind, and compassionate when warranted and turn into a pit bull in a heartbeat if need be.
Good for you. But I couldn't help feeling a weird guilt that I didn't get whatever message I was supposed to seeing her ghost.
At least she was found half an hour after I passed.
So it's not like there would have been a major difference in the case if I'd found her first.
Sometime later, I knew this was going to happen.
Oh. Oh, no. It came out that her husband had killed her.
Apparently, they were having some kind of disagreement when she went jogging, and he went out and tracked her down on her jogging route and confronted her and strangled her to death.
Oh, that's awful. His own wife, the mother of his children, a small in stature female with only one arm to defend herself.
Oh, my God. After leaving her body there, the shit stain went home and played the worried husband and father for his young daughters and even drove them around pretending to look for their mom.
What a piece of shit. He already took their mom away and now he decided to traumatize them even more.
What a sack of smelly, infected dick pus.
That literally is what, that is a perfect way to describe that thing.
He is smelly, infected dick pus. Ugh. I've never shared this story before because, frankly, who would believe it anyway?
But I've attached a news article about the murder in case you want to check it out.
Hope this wasn't too long and I hope you keep it weird.
But I'm sorry that you see a ghost jogger with one arm while trying not to puke all over yourself.
Sincerely, H. Wow. How sad. When you said that her husband was, the first time you said it, was driving around looking for them, looking for her, I was like, was he though?
Yeah. See, in my head, I was like, oh, that's so sad.
He's like driving around with the kids and like they're worried and they don't know what happened.
I thought she got attacked on the jogging route.
It's always the husband. Oh, man. I was really hoping that wasn't the case.
But my goodness. That was so sad. I feel like she really was just like trying to be like, hey, I'm here.
But like you would never know that, you know, like she looked real.
So it's like you just thought that was a jogger at 530 a.m.
And it's, like, was she trying to be, like, hey, I'm here?
Or, like, was it some kind of, like, residual haunting?
Because she didn't seem frantic at all, you know?
And, like, how scary is it that, like, you know she left the house after an argument with her husband, wanted to blow off some steam, so she goes for a jog, and, like, you see her, but after everything's already happened.
That's so scary. That's really, really creepy.
Oof. All right. Wow. Thank you for that, H. And you are a great police officer.
I know it. Of course. I can feel it in my bones.
I like that you, I loved your analogy there.
Like, I'm sweet and kind and compassionate and then I turn into a pit bull.
And then I turn into a pit bull. Roxy like a puma.
Woo. All right. Let's see. Which one should I do?
Which one should I do? Which one should I do?
Maybe shit dick. Shit dick? Because we just did infected dick.
There you go. There you go. Shit dick. Let's see.
All right. It says, hello, my fellow weirdos.
And this is entitled Shit Dick. Attached is my listener tale.
It's a doozy, but I promise worth the read, especially if I can inspire someone else.
I added the below to my story, but just so it's fresh at the top and you don't have to search for it.
Where am I? You can use my name, Aria. Oh, that's a pretty name.
Very pretty. Am I any others in this story?
Because I've already changed them for privacy.
Well done. Another timed read. There you go.
Wow. You guys are killing it. That's so nice.
You do not have to do that, but it's appreciated when you do.
I just want you to know the effort you put in, I appreciate it.
I read it on my own and it took 14 minutes and 35 seconds.
I am also the slowest reader alive, so hopefully you can shorten it.
The Walking Dead, or TWD is The Walking Dead, but I'm not sure if that's within your taste of TV, so I thought I'd clarify.
LOL. Thank you. Sincerely, Aria. Oh, my God.
You're beautiful. I know. I love your hair on your wedding day.
Oh, my God. Your little fam. And I love your dog.
Oh, my God. You're both beautiful. I know.
Like, together, you are beautiful. Wow. Seriously.
She sent in, like, wedding photos in the snow.
Ugh. Gorgeous. You guys. Absolutely gorgeous.
All right. Let's see. Listener tale. Yes, that's totally the way I hear you saying it.
Listen a tale with your most Boston accent you can do.
As you ladies love, here's my double-spaced pedophile.
I hope 16 font is great because even though I'm only 30, my old-ass eyes need the bigger font.
I feel you. Just as everyone, I can literally hear you guys saying this, else I have to gush how much I love you.
I love you. I found you a year into your podcast and have been obsessed ever since.
You're an OG. OG. I recommended you to absolutely everyone I know because I can't get enough.
Thank you so much. That was so sweet. When I learned you were switching to Wondering, giving us more episodes a week, I squeaked.
Literally squealed my little 4'11 head off because I get to hear my besties more.
Oh. Oh my God, I love you. Love you. I always wanted to submit my own listener tale, but this one is such a trigger for me.
But I am going to suck up the anxiety it will give me briefly in the hope that it provides light to someone else who needs it.
So here goes. The listener tale is called Deep Breath In.
And huge trigger warning, this involves domestic abuse.
Listener tale, shit dick. It says, thanks for this amazing term.
And it's called, the time abuse didn't win and I got out with only scars and a temporarily broken heart.
Oh, I want to give you a hug. Not even broken hearted from the relationship ending.
That was fine. The broken heart came from the abuse I didn't recognize as it was and the person this man became.
Oh, no. Let me crank this out while listening to some Nin.
Yeah. Yes, just Nin, because I can never use the band name again.
You're welcome. A funny accident. And it says, one more time, you can use my name and any others in this story because I've already changed them for privacy.
Thank you for doing that. I don't give a fuck about one in particular because, quite frankly, they suck, but in case he listens, I don't want him to pinpoint the author.
My name is Aria. Yeah, like Game of Thrones, because I turn out to be a badass little bitch too.
Yeah. Hell yeah. I apologize ahead of time because I'm a terrible writer, but I think so many can benefit from my story and I truly hope it inspires someone else to get out and find someone worthy of everything they have to offer.
So here we go, ladies and gents, strap in and hold on to your butts because we're going for a little bit of a wild ride.
I haven't even got into the tail and my heart is already racing and bubbling with anxiety.
Let's step back into our way back machines to 2013.
I moved to Texas on a whim because I wanted to change and to experience new things.
I knew one person when I moved there, and that was it.
Emery and I have been friends over 20 years now in 2022.
I did the typical thing and got a job, or always in my case during my 20s, too.
Or, excuse me, or always in my case during my 20s, too.
Two jobs. Yeah, like two jobs. Shortly after moving there, I...
Oh yeah, shortly after moving there, I wanted to get a tattoo that I had talked about forever.
I thought the artist was super cute, and I had ended up having fun chatting throughout the tattoo process.
I didn't make my move right then, though.
I did my typical day-to-day for about a week and a half.
Then one night I went to a bar near the tattoo shop and saw Tim there, but avoided him noticing me.
I'm not sure why, but I didn't want to hang then.
Later that evening after leaving and with a little bit of liquid courage, I decided to text him.
I had his number from my previous booking.
That's how this disaster all started. Oh man, you were just shooting your shot.
I know. We started meeting up and hanging out at bars around town or at his place because I liked his dog.
The state of his home should have scared me away the first time I ever walked in.
There were bottles of liquor or beer everywhere, full and empty.
Animal pee stains on practically every carpeted area and even on some of the tile in the kitchen.
Don't worry, it wasn't Tim abusing the dog that made it pee everywhere.
Unfortunately, he came from a dog fighting breeder that ruined him.
The dog was probably the only living thing he was ever kind to.
Well, I'm glad he was at least kind to that thing.
Yeah. Anyway, let's speed up a bit. About six to eight months into our relationship, I moved in with Shit Dick.
He's not going to be Tim from here on out.
Things were good. It felt easy to fall into routine and live together.
I got up for work at 6 a.m., but he didn't have to get up until 7, so I typically woke him up with a gentle kiss so he didn't have to rely on his shit alarm that was totally obnoxious to anyone.
One day, he just pushed me away and said, I wish you'd stop doing that.
I'm a man. I can get up on my own. Oh, is the little man feeling cranky this morning?
Wow. I'd be like, fuck off. And you know what?
This is true. I was kind of hurt. Because if it was the other way around, I would find that to be a great way to be woken up.
That's the thing. That would really hurt.
Like, that would hurt your feelings. Yeah, because you're just trying to be sweet.
And you're like, yeah, that's the thing.
And you think it's like this nice way to wake up.
Yeah, that's actually exactly how I wake Drew up every morning.
And it's not like he told you that the first time, like, I don't want to be woken up like that, which would be strange, to be quite honest.
I don't care who you are. That's weird to not want to be woken up with a kiss from someone you love.
Yeah. But like, if he was like, hey, that like stresses me out or something.
Yeah. He told you right away, like, whatever.
Right. Still weird, but whatever. But, like, he let you do it for a while and then was like, I wish you wouldn't do that.
And it's like, was I supposed to just know?
Right. Like, what the fuck? So that was just the beginning.
I started to make more plans with Emery because her and I worked together and lunch was never long enough for us to hang out.
I was always courteous about it. I gave him notice so he knew when and where I'd be and even how long I expected to be with her.
I always planned it on the nights he worked so it wouldn't interfere with our time together.
One day, about four months into us living together and a year into the relationship, he said, no.
What? No explanation, just no. So I said, what do you mean no?
And he said, you're not going over to Emery's tonight.
I didn't even fight with him about it. I just agreed and texted her that something came up with shit dick and I needed to stay home.
Well, you were probably like so taken aback.
Like I can understand just being like, okay.
That's the thing. These things happen without you even realizing it.
You suddenly start accepting behavior that you never thought you would accept.
And it's not because you are weak. It's not because you are not being strong or you are not this like bad bitch.
It's because it's just they know how to slowly start accepting. the process and isn't it so scary like they really do it's like it's like a cult leader kind of the kind of personality that really goes into it they get you close they tell you they love you they can they start to move in they love bomb and then they slowly start taking it away they isolate yep you so that you have nothing else but them the phase we're in right now yeah it's like and that's the thing she has this one friend out here Yeah, this is a new place for her and he knows that.
So it says she was understanding, but it wasn't long before so many canceled plans became total isolation from the one friend I had in this city.
I knew it. I quit the job that her and I worked together and started waiting tables at one of the bars near the shop because shit dick recommended it.
Now I see he recommended it to keep an eye on me.
My shift started and ended at a more reasonable hour to suit his schedule and things started to get better, quote unquote.
But boy, was I hella wrong. The people at work would go out because we closed around 10 p.m. and bars were still open until 2 a.m.
I got invited out all the time but never went because shit dick said no.
Gave me the side eye from across the bar or just had me so conditioned that I wouldn't even try to test boundaries.
Ugh. I know, I was young and dumb. No, you weren't dumb.
Let's fast forward some more because that part of the story doesn't change, with the exception of continuous verbal abuse at home, which eventually led to public.
We had been together for almost or right at two years at this point.
I was getting fed up. Coming home from work to an empty home because I couldn't make friends, but he could go out after being at the shop and get smashed.
He'd come home shit-faced and either yell at me to wake up and make him a drunk snack that he was too drunk to eat anyways because by the time I finished, he was passed out somewhere, on the couch, the floor, the bathroom, almost never in the bed.
I'd sit the snack in a glass of water near him so when he finally woke up, he had his snack and something to hydrate with.
I learned to put them in a spot he couldn't knock over in his sleep because that didn't go over well the first couple of times it happened.
Oh, fuck. Finally, one night, I came home to a dark place.
I didn't even step inside after opening the door, just shut and relocked it.
I texted people from work and said, where are you guys?
I'm going to come out tonight. I went out, drank with new friends, and had a great time.
Until shit dicks started blowing up my phone.
Where the fuck are you? I panicked. I closed my tab, said quick goodbyes and see you laters, and left.
I don't remember the moment I walked into the door.
I don't remember any screaming and fighting.
Nothing. To this day, nothing. I just remember coming to in the small bathroom with my back against the door.
So blackout and then remembers waking up with her back against the bathroom door.
Yeah. Feet against the tub, pushing hard with all my tiny 4'11 foot stature while I felt the kicks on the other side of the door.
Oh, my God. So she's in the bathroom, back against the door, with her feet pushing against the tub, trying to keep the door closed while he is trying to bang open the door.
That's so terrifying. Like... Oh my god.
Oh my god. I don't know how the hell shit dick didn't hear me dial for help, but thankfully he had no clue.
The cops didn't even have to knock because the door was still open from when I came home.
Oh, my God. They heard the commotion from two flights of stairs down and in the parking lot.
They later told me they ran to me as quickly as they could.
I heard them. I heard them yell at shit dick, get the fuck away from the door and get your ass down.
I'm literally shaking as I type this right now.
Oh, I'm like totally filled with chills.
I know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. One of the officers saw the towel, my arm pressed tightly to my abdomen.
He got me another towel to wrap over the soaked one, picked me up, put me in his patrol car, and drove me to the hospital.
I got over 50 stitches in my arm. Oh my God.
Shitdick then proceeded to tell the officers that I had done it to myself.
I was just trying to get him in trouble.
Because of this, he got me admitted to a psych ward.
Oh, my God. The officers tried to defend me, but it was out of their hands, even though my injuries looked defensive.
How fucked is that? I was shocked. Deer in headlights, wide-eyed and scared.
I don't need to go to the psych ward, I pleaded.
I am not suicidal. I didn't do this. Please, you have to believe me.
Look, who would stab themselves this way as I made the motion to them, then held my arm up defensively.
Now, look, doesn't this look defensive? It fell on deaf ears."
I was still admitted against my own will in protest.
Thankfully, I have the best friend in the entire world who didn't let shit-dex isolation tactics work.
We'll call this friend Alice. Alice takes suicide so seriously, as anyone should.
If it weren't for her, I would have been on a 72-hour psych hold.
This precious gem of a human being had me out in less than 12 hours.
If I had to stay there, I would have gone crazy.
What a terrifying place to be in. That's the sad thing is because like the psych ward is really not where people should go when they're struggling.
If I had, where am I? What a terrifying place to be.
I had called her from the ER and she was in the car before I was discharged for transportation to the psych hospital.
Also, hindsight, shit dick had several guns in the house.
I am so incredibly lucky that he was too drunk to think to shoot me through the door.
Also, why the fuck did he care if we split while he cheated on me for nearly our whole ass relationship?
I found out after I left that town and relapsed on drugs I never even knew he had previously been addicted to.
I up and quit my job. They knew why. It moved to be closer to Alice.
We were like two hours apart or something.
We're still friends to this day and Emery and I have made up too.
I'm glad. Shitdick did send a motorcycle gang to stalk me in my new city for a bit.
Jesus. The fuck? But being the badass that Alice helped me to be, we shut it down really quickly.
This is already 10 pages, so I'll save that story in the months of abuse in between the tidbits I provided for another time if you're interested.
Well, I know no one is interested in the abuse part, but the stalking motorcycle gang story can be fairly interesting.
Anyways, now I am happily married to the most incredible man in the world and you two are beautiful together.
I'm currently suffering severe baby fever, LOL, which is so crazy to me because I always knew I didn't want kids.
Not until I met this amazing man of mine.
That happens to a lot of people. No. Okay.
Just don't do it alone. Sending all the hugs and positive vibes your way to get out of your shit dick situation.
I believe you can and you should too. Thank you for reading my stories, ladies.
My story, ladies. Keep it weird. But not so weird that you put on a fake face to get someone to fall for you and turn into a monster once you have them in your grips.
Then abuse them for years until they find their strength, courage, and worth to leave.
Then send a motorcycle gang to their new city and block call them and post on their socials like a total psycho.
But do keep it so weird that you save yourself and get out to find Mary and start a life with a person of your dreams.
Definitely keep it that weird. Bye. And it says, also, I don't care what stage of life you are in or your age.
We can all benefit from therapy. I'm a problem solver when I talk it out, good and bad.
And I figure a lot out just by talking it out.
Don't look at it in a negative light if it is used to be painted in.
It can only truly inspire growth within you.
I totally, totally agree with that. Total side note and completely unrelated, I'm an Aquarius that is right on the cusp of being Capricorn, so I relate to Elena a lot.
But love you both equally as you bring so much joy to my days.
Aw. Thank you for being a badass, the badass boss babes you are.
Aw, I love you. Thank you. P.S. I pre-ordered your book, The Butcher and the Wren.
Find it at tinyurl.com slash the butcher and the wren.
Yeah, yeah. The day you announced it. Oh, thank you so much.
Cannot wait to read it. Again, love, love, love you ladies to the moon and back.
We love, love, love you too. I also attach pics of me and my hubby's wedding because I just can't believe this life is real sometimes.
It's real and you deserve it. You too. You're a beautiful couple.
Are so beautiful. I can't, in your wedding dress.
In your hair, just like your whole look on that day.
I'm telling you, they are the most gorgeous couple I've ever seen and they have an adorable dog and-
If I don't look as good as you on my wedding day, I'm going to cry.
Wow. I love it. You look beautiful. You really do.
Beautiful. Oh, my God. Wow. Thank you for sending that in to us and like, you know, I don't even, just like thank you.
Thank you just for like opening up and telling us that story because I know that was really hard, but I hope it felt somewhat cathartic to get it down, hopefully.
Yeah. And you're going to help a lot of people hear that it is, you know, it is possible.
I almost said capable. Yeah. It is possible.
They're capable. to get out of a situation like that and also that you're not dumb you're not weak it means nothing that you happen to have fallen in love with somebody that or fell into a relationship with somebody that ended up being that way it is not your fault these people are fucking masters of disguise and they're masters of manipulation and that is not your fault All that your responsibility is, is to try to safely get away from the situation.
Exactly. And take care of yourself. But damn.
Thank you, Aria. And I'm really glad that you're happy now.
I know. And you even got a dog out of it.
You got a dog and you got a beautiful wedding and a beautiful relationship.
And I'm so happy for you. I love you. And your hair is great.
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That's greenlight.com slash wondery. okay i think we have time for like one more you think um probably like two more one more two more let's do it all right listener tales i'm gonna do really bad first date not burying the lead he's dead whoa yeah okay attaching a put a foot with the details July 21st, 2022.
I'm not going to say your name yet because I don't know if I should.
Hi, Ash and Alayna. First, I want to thank you.
I love listening to y'all finding humor in awful situations.
You didn't know it, but you've been with me through several difficult times.
Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, I never listened to Morbid until someone tried to kill me.
Holy shit. I'll explain. Please do. Here's my listener tale.
If you use it, please edit it as you see fit.
Never. It wasn't supposed to be a date, but that's the best way to describe it.
Oh, no. That's awful. What the fuck? Oh my god.
We're going to take a quick diversion to explain how I got Athena.
My dad built a small cabin in the woods.
When my dad died two years prior to this unspeakably bad date, I went up to the cabin to clean it, stage it, and eventually sell it.
Selling it didn't happen, thank goodness, and this will become important later.
I fell in love with being there, and I came to recognize that the cabin is my father's artwork.
Oh, jeez. Learned how to use a chainsaw properly thanks to my neighbors.
And if I was lucky, I'd wake up to the clouds covering the valley so it looked like you could walk right out to them.
Oh, my God. You're a beautiful writer. I know.
Jeez. I was just there in the valley with you.
I was. I could see everything. My goodness.
It felt safe there. So I slept with the doors open, like air open, not just unlocked.
I know. I know. I can see your faces now.
Are you serious? Yeah. But I didn't know you then, so I left the doors open all the time.
I didn't know you then. She's like, this was pre-you guys.
We weren't friends yet. Well, one night when I was doing dishes at 1 a.m., somebody came into the house behind me.
I already had a knife in my hand, so here we go.
I looked around the corner and I saw that it was my neighbor's dog, Athena, the sweetest, most happy dog I've ever seen, just sitting on my couch with no intention of leaving.
I love that. And now I share her with her dad, Jeff, my neighbor.
Oh, my God. That's the best. We've agreed on joint custody.
Oh, my God. She's a gorgeous 80-pound pit bull with zero aggression.
What a beautiful little muffin. I love that she kind of just, like, chose you as her co-owner.
She was like, hello, would you like to jointly own me with my dad?
Yeah. I actually, that's, I've only heard of that happening once before, and it was this woman I worked with, Jo Marie.
Shout out if you're listening. What? The same thing happened to her, and she's like a dog mom to the cutest dog ever.
That's so funny. Well, many people have said that my dad sent Athena.
I believe that. Totally. I don't know how gifts from the beyond might work, but Athena certainly came to me at the right time.
And two years later, when my mom was in her last days.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I know. I know. Athena would not leave her side.
Maybe Athena really was my dad's way of helping us from the beyond.
Yeah, I fully believe that. I think so. Okay, so back to the bad date.
Eek. This is after dad is gone and I'm taking care of my mom in Birmingham.
Ian Disney is my assailant date. To recap, he was back at my house trying to sober out and he kicked Athena, my dog.
She whimpered and I immediately and calmly asked him to leave.
He did. And 45 seconds later, he came back, forced his way into my house and strangled me.
Holy shit. Sometimes people really don't take rejection well.
I want to emphasize that at this point, all he had to do was leave my home.
There was nothing to be gained by coming back other than acting out of anger.
Oh my God. Everything that happened after this also makes no sense, and none of it was consensual.
I'm omitting some graphic details. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I am too. He choked me until I passed out many times, at least four times.
It's hard to remember events when you've lost oxygen, so it might have been more than four times.
Oh, my God. He said he'd tell the police that he met some kinky girl who asked for it.
I don't remember a lot of this because of the choking, but I had cameras that caught all of the yelling, all him.
So he was already planning to be talking to the police and lie.
Also, we were not having sex, and I did not ask for anything other than him to leave, as is evident from the video footage.
Oh, my God. I hate to say it this way, but thank God my mother had dementia and to protect her, I had installed about 20 cameras at our home, which captured him chasing me outside, fully clothed, dragging me around by my hair and screaming at me.
What an actual psychopath. Oh my God, this next sentence is easily one of the most chilling things I've ever read.
Oh my God. There was one thing he didn't scream.
He whispered, no one can hear you. No one is coming to save you.
Oh, my God. I have chills all over my entire body.
That's the mark of somebody who has murdered someone or 100% will murder someone.
Abso-fucking-lutely. That right there. The cameras did not catch that, but I will never forget it.
Oh, he was right. No one was coming. I had to save myself.
I fought every way I could. Wow. Yeah. It wasn't enough though.
He still choked me out. At one point, he had me sit on the floor and would not let me move.
He went on long rants about how American women will fuck you up.
I don't know what that was about. We're both American.
I never threatened him once. Wow. I told him I had to go to the bathroom.
He strangled me again and he told me he didn't believe me.
So I defecated on him. That's right. Oh, my God.
I pooped on this asshole. Wow. He ushered me into the bathroom and watched me finish.
Then he took a few seconds to clean himself up, and that's when I ran.
Unfortunately, he caught up with me outside and choked me again.
Oh, my God. I am so lucky to be alive. Yes.
He said he would kill me, and I knew he would.
He twisted my neck to where I could hear it starting to snap.
Oh. I tried fighting. I tried running. He was going to kill me.
He threatened to shoot me with a gun to my head, so I knew I had to de-escalate.
He needed to feel validated and in the right.
It's all emotion. There's no logic left here.
I told him I was sorry and this was my fault.
I misunderstood. He was right. I just misinterpreted.
Ash and Elena, y'all taught me. You've called this fawning.
I fawned the fuck out of this nightmare and it kept me alive.
Oh my God. I can't believe you thought enough.
Like you had the wherewithal to think about what to do.
I can't even imagine. On a scale of 1 to 10 from fawning, I took it to an 11.
Spinal tap reference. Ding. Wow. The fact that you were able to like put a joke in there is very impressive.
I know. Wow. Wow. Wow. but I didn't have to call them.
They found me. I'll get there in a second.
Upon leaving, Ian Disney said, I had a really nice time.
I hope to see you again. Wow. Oh my God.
To get rid of him, I calmly said, me too.
The Academy Awards Committee can send me another...
The Academy Awards Committee can send me the Oscar statue whenever they're ready.
Wow. Send her an Oscar immediately. Like many people who are just thankful to be alive, I didn't call the police.
I called my best friend and my neighbor.
My friends really helped me over the months.
Wow. Guess who physically went to the police immediately?
What? Okay. Oh, my God. Four men. My body.
They couldn't find a female police officer.
I was literally just going to ask that. Like, you couldn't throw one female police officer in there?
And that happens so often. For a woman who's just assaulted, that's shameful.
Of course. There were physical ramifications.
The bruises healed quickly, but I could not sit up on my own for two weeks because of how hard I fought.
Oh, my God. My core muscles were exhausted.
Also, I couldn't speak normally for about two months because he actually damaged my vocal cords.
And the whites of my eyes were solid blood.
Oh, my God. Visine didn't help me out on this one.
You just have to look like you might have Ebola for about two months.
Oh, my God. The emotional damage was worse, though.
I was absolutely terrified of him. He knew where I lived.
He threatened to kill me with obvious intent and obvious enjoyment of almost killing me many times.
Yeah. I pressed charges. Based on the pictures and video, the DA arrested him on attempted murder, kidnapping, rape, and burglary.
I think they could have added a few more, but the sentence was probably going to be life anyway.
In case you're interested, burglary doesn't mean they stole something.
It just means they came into a place where they were not welcome.
Interesting. I didn't realize that. Bond was $240,000, and you only have to pay the court 10% of the bond amount to get out.
That's so fucked up. i hate that i know that's fucked up but he came up with 24k in cash that day so my thinking yeah so my thinking at this point is this all i did last time was ask him to leave my house and he lost it and now there are serious legal charges against him and he's oh my god so what's going to what's he going to do now my guess is kill us he already said he was going to we have to leave I moved my mother to another place and I went into hiding at the cabin in the woods.
I can't believe you had to do this while your mother had dementia and you were taking care of her.
Seriously. And you'd just gone through losing your dad.
Both of us, excuse me, and I went into hiding at the cabin in the woods.
Both of us out of reach. Thank you to my dad.
Two months later, a social worker called me.
Thank goodness your dad, that cabin didn't sell.
I know. Like you were right. That was meant to happen.
Yeah. Ian Disney is dead. They do not give me details other than to say that they had to use multiple ways of identifying him and that he was in a plane at the time.
He was a pilot. Whoa. I burst into tears.
I'm not sure why I cried. I am. Wow. It was just like all the emotions.
It wasn't that you were sad he died. It was everything that you had gone through and now this person is finally gone.
Right. It was a release. Yeah. Oh my goodness.
I think it was a combination of relief for myself, compassion for the family, and lament for the senselessness of it all.
It didn't have to happen. He could have just left my house, but instead he chose to hurt me.
The PTSD from this is still with me. Just after he left my house, he texted, I hope this doesn't make you hate men.
I quickly responded, oh, I don't hate men.
You're not a man. Good for you. The happy news is that three days before all of this, I met a wonderful man who helped me and is now my boyfriend.
Oh, I'm so happy that both of you that went through terrible situations at least found a good man out of it.
After just three days of knowing me, he sat with me in the emergency room until 3 a.m.
We've been dating for two years now, and Athena the dog sleeps on his feet.
Oh. I love that. I also want to add another happy point to this.
Around the same time of my unfortunate date, my mom with dementia kept talking about a party that we had to get ready for.
With dementia patients, you just go with it.
It's almost kind of like improv's rule of yes and.
I'm asking things like, so yeah, where's that party?
How should we dress? Who's going? She wasn't sure, but there was definitely a party and many people are coming.
I asked her who and she gestured to all the people in the room and she made eye contact with them.
Oh, I just got full chills. Thing is, there was no one there.
She was seeing something I couldn't see.
I truly believe she saw souls that were with her somehow.
We were in a hospital. Oh, my whole body is chilly right now.
And Ash and Elena, you don't have to tell me twice to have a party, especially if we're inviting ghosts.
It was on. I love Halloween, and we had a party.
Oh, my God. I'm going to cry. My mom came as a queen with a tiara and a cape.
We burned a piano in the backyard. Note, it was completely broken, so no functional pianos were harmed in the making of this party.
We danced, we sang, and laughed until the wee hours.
Oh, my God. I'm going to cry. My mom died 10 days later.
I held her hand and told her it was okay.
I'd heard that sometimes. Oh, that's like so much.
I heard that sometimes a person at the bridge just needs to feel permission to leave.
After our conversation, she died peacefully just hours later.
She sure got her party, though. Oh, my God.
That's amazing that you did that for her.
And Athena was at her side until the very end.
She knew. That was your dad. That absolutely was.
And I've heard before, I wish I remembered the woman's name on TikTok, but she's like a nurse who works with people.
Oh, I think I might follow her, yeah. I think you showed me her.
Mm-hmm. And I think they say, like, you'll see people at the end that are there to take you to the other side.
That are ready to, like, see you. So because she passed 10 days later, I wonder if those people were like, let's have one last party with you on this plane.
Yeah, that were like, have a party here and then we're ready for you.
Come on. Yeah. It's like a going away party.
I love that. Ash, you can work your usual magic, but I'll try to do this.
So keep it weird enough that you don't invite new people to your house, but if you do, they're not very nice and it's totally okay to poop on them.
And then keep it weird enough that you hope souls surrounding your mom come to your crazy Halloween party with a burning piano and you dance until dawn.
Love y'all. Love to y'all. Natalie. You can use my name.
Natalie. I'm so sorry that you had that experience.
That is... I don't even have the words for what that is.
That's an unthinkable experience. Unthinkable.
And then to have just lost your father and have that happen, thankfully you had the cabin.
But then to be going through – like, to be going through – taking care of your mom having active dementia and have this happen to you like that's the thing it's like you probably just felt so alone and i'm so sorry that you had to like endure that that's the thing but i'm so happy that you're not alone now and that you're you have athena and you have your dad and your mom watching over you and your new man's your new man i'm happy for you Oh, man.
Like these have been gut-wrenching tales.
But I'm so glad that they have like happy outcomes.
Yeah. I'm really glad that things just flipped completely.
And, you know, I always think like when we're sharing these tales, like, oh, man, this is like so much.
But this is going to help somebody, hopefully, who is in a situation like that or finds themselves in a situation like that, you know?
Yeah. Oh, man. All right. Thank you so much, Natalie.
I know. This one, I will do one more. This one is called The Time I Met a Murderer, Except She's My Grandma.
I knew you were going to pick that one. And it says, ladies, see attached 14 point double space pedophile for the steaming hot tea.
Yes. Can already tell you're going to be hilarious.
Hello, fellow ladies of the night. Welcome to my 14-point double-spaced putt-a-fuss.
Say it, Ash. Well, I said it, sorry. I must start with the standard intro that states you two are a ray of fabulous sunshine and a dreary hellscape of a work week.
I love you. And I absolutely love having you along for the ride on my hourish commute to and from work.
We have long-spirited discussions, the three of us.
You just don't know. Yeah. I love that.
Your witty banter and animated storytelling has me addicted, even in the underwater days.
And the variety of spook and serial killer vibes always leaves me with the just one more episode feeling.
Elena, never change. Keep up the six part episodes.
Haters gonna hate, but I always feel like I need all the information.
You do. Thank you. Listener Tales is always a particularly fun time, and I found myself desperately wishing for some spook to ignite in the world so I could contribute.
And then my sister-in-law, BFF, yep, best friend from childhood, married my husband's brother.
Oh, my God. Whoa, that's cool. That's incredible.
Was all, but you do have a story. Didn't your grandma kill a man?
That's a story. That's a story. Honestly, at that point, I didn't even know the full extent of it, the whole story.
But I knew the rumor. I was always told that my maternal grandma killed my maternal grandpa in self-defense.
Ooh. So my super sleuth CIA agent BFF, just kidding.
She's a nurse just like me. She's just really good at finding out some shit.
So you're both like superheroes. Cool. Did some digging and found me his name.
That's right. We never spoke of this openly.
I didn't even know his name. Oh, my goodness.
And then proceeded to trace his ancestry back to 1072.
Whoa. But that's beside the point. Jesus.
She really did some digging. Back up. I took this name I now had and found the grave, found the death certificate and asked for it from the Idaho Human Records.
And because I am a direct descendant of his, the state just sends it to you.
Wild. That's awesome. It comes in the mail in my genuine shock.
I read, cause of death, gunshot wound to the right temple, manner of death, suicide.
Wait, what? Why in hillbilly hell would my grandma let this rumor that she killed him go on for all these years?
I get there's stigma attached to suicide, but at the expense of you sounding like a murderer?
Mind you, we never asked her about it. After all, the rumor is she's a killer, you know?
Yeah, don't be asking questions. I love that they're just like, she was around.
We just never asked her if she was really a murderer.
So I finally decided to call my aunt, my mother's half-sister, so this deceased man was not her father, and tell her what I'd been up to and what I'd found out.
She then told me the truth. Oh, that's terrible.
Yeah. Jesus. Jesus. But he has one now.
He's drunk and acting menacing and finally passes out.
So Granny, she did what she thought she had to do.
When she knew he was good and passed out, she shot him in the temple.
Stone cold, point blank range with full foresight and intent. but also self-defense protecting her babies yeah she then calls the cops to admit what she had done it was a small rural town the responding officers knew him knew his history they took one look at him and said oh yes looks like suicide to me whoa closed the case and never looked back she was never investigated she was never tried this was no self-defense oh man grandma went on to marry another man and have aforementioned aunt and live out her life as a teacher after having earned roughly four college degrees.
Holy shit. She is now in her late 70s, and last year she took a trip to Yellowstone National Park alone in a tent for a week.
She needed that. So basically... She deserved that.
Yeah, just a badass from start to finish of her time on this rock.
She said, give me some peace and quiet. Holy shit.
Of note, the man she went on to marry, who raised my mom and who I know as grandpa, was imprisoned when I was in high school for first-degree murder because he smothered the mother of his second wife upon her request, he says, as a mercy killing.
Huh. He got out on good behavior after five years and began driving for Uber.
So, just a warning there, my fellow weirdos.
Avoid riding in cars with strangers. What?
Holy cannoli. Thanks for reading and being you.
I hope this twisted family tree made sense and I hope you keep it weird.
Take it away, Ash. Not so weird that this.
Not that weird. P.S. Don't use my name. I'm really glad I didn't.
Because number one, this granny is still at large and we'd like her to remain.
So number two, my name actually kind of sucks in current culture.
Oh, well. Oh, man, that's great. But that's hilarious.
I love this because granny is still at large and we'd like her to remain.
She was just doing what she had to do. That is outrageous.
Olé. Think of how bad it had to be, though, for the cops to be like, yep, looks like that to me.
Case closed. Those are some real ones right there.
What a time. Damn. What a time. Guys. You guys just simply never disappoint.
Some tales. Tales. Some tales. Some tales.
That is wild. Thank you so much for sending these in.
They were harrowing, and I'm really glad that they have happy endings because we love you guys.
Oh, yeah. And again, thank you for sharing your stories with us.
We really appreciate it. We really do. It means a lot.
And keep sending them in. And I love that you guys feel comfortable sending them to us.
It means a lot. Yeah, for sure. So with that being said, we hope you keep listening.
And we hope you keep listening. it weird but not so weird that you are an asshole who abuses other people and kicks dogs or anything that happened in these stories yeah don't do that no goodbye i love you goodbye i love you If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, and magic.
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