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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
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Hey, weirdos. So we are doing something a little different today.
And that is because we have done something a little exciting, a little bit hurrah, hurrah.
We are starting and actually started a new podcast.
I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called The Rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And we thought it would be like a super fun idea if we shared the first episode with you guys right now.
We know. Now, I've been obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer since... like junior high when it came out, basically.
I've told you guys about this on Morbid.
You all know, I've talked about Buffy a ton.
I've talked about the RPGing days, you know, the varping, the larping of it all.
And a lot of you have said that you were also Buffy heads, or you've said, you know what, I never watched that, but now I'm kind of curious.
This is your time. It's your time and it's my time because as we know, I am the resident young on this show.
Alayna, you're old. Yeah. But I have never watched a single episode in my life until we started this podcast.
So if you're new on this little journey, join it.
Join it with me. It's going to be fun. That's the dynamic.
I have seen every episode like 10 times over and Ash hasn't seen, I think she's seen like two minutes of maybe like three episodes in her whole life before this.
Yeah. So together we're going to rewatch literally every single episode of this series, breaking down what makes this show so iconic.
We're going to do full recaps. We've added some cool like categories because we thought a straight recap just can't be.
We have to have some cool categories. We're going to have like Ash is going to be like fully into the 90s fashion of it all.
You know this. Oh my God, I'm salivating.
But we're going to do things like, you know, we're going to recognize the most valuable slayer of the week.
We're going to talk about the witty lines, like witty Buffy banter of the week.
We're going to talk about the big bads of the week.
We're going to do some superlatives. It's going to be cool.
And what's even cooler and something that I am still just, I'm looking at 13-year-old Elena and I'm like, you never knew.
You never knew this would happen because we're going to be welcoming some special guests.
Wow. People who have things to do with Buffy, who may have been in Buffy.
That's all I'll say. Are you sharding or are you sharding?
Sharding. The other thing too is that we know like so many of you guys love Buffy because we've heard that from you.
So I think you're all going to love it. And I really think you guys are going to have just like so much fun listening to this as I think you're going to have as much fun listening to it as we have making it.
Which this has been a blast to make. We are laughing hysterically.
It's been just like a nostalgia bomb. This has been, we look forward to doing this just as like this really cool, fun thing.
You know, something different. One might say we're sliving.
There you go. One might say that. I wouldn't, but one might, you know.
Yeah. Because I don't know what sliving is still.
You don't need to know. It's okay. So enjoy episode one of The Rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And then if you feel so inclined, go follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or you know what, wherever you're listening.
New episodes come out every Monday and episodes one and two are available right now.
Let's Do this. Welcome to the Hellmouth, weirdos.
So first of all, I have been dying to do this particular rewatch podcast since basically since I knew what a podcast was.
And I think I actually wanted to do it before that.
I just didn't know what a podcast was. I was just I just knew I wanted to talk about Buffy.
You wanted to have a Buffy radio show. I did.
I really did. Because honestly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Literally changed my life. There was Elena BB before Buffy and Elena AB after Buffy.
I only know Elena AB. So for those of you who have not had the life altering experience yet of watching this show.
Hello. Let me give you some quick background.
So Buffy the Vampire Slayer takes place in the late 90s.
It's about a teenage girl, Buffy Summers, who's just, you know, trying to live a normal life.
But it's completely impossible because she's been chosen as the slayer of her generation.
You know, obviously. Yeah, that can like mess things up.
That tracks. A slayer is supposed to keep people safe, battle demons, you know, other supernatural forces of evil and all kinds of scaries.
Okay. So far, nothing sounds amiss. No, it's all on brand.
Yeah. So Buffy's played by Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Love her. Total, total badass. And she gets help from some of her friends at school, like there's Willow, played by Allison Hannigan.
We got Xander, played by Nicholas Brendan.
And her watcher, Giles. Oh, do you like him?
Love Giles. Played by Anthony Head. And he trains her, he teaches her, he guides her, which is exactly what I'm going to do for you, Ash.
Yay! I'm going to guide you through this because you have never watched this show before.
Nope. Nope. new. I'm the new, I am Buffy.
I'm the new girl in school. Brand new babe in school.
Heyo. Which is kind of crazy to think about how it was such a key part of your life and I just never watched it with you.
You just weren't allowed to. I was a baby.
You know, so you're gonna be the newbie here.
If anyone's out there right now and they've never seen it either and always wanted to, or maybe you didn't want to, but you're in now.
We're in this together. Exactly. So together, we're going to rewatch every single episode of this entire series, and we're going to break down what makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer so damn cool.
We're going to have some special guests every now and then.
Some fun categories like aged like a vampire or aged like a human, where we decide which of the moments aged well or didn't age that great.
If they aged well, then they aged like a vampire.
If not, like a human. We're going to have the most valuable slayer of the episode.
Love that one, which I think that kind of explains itself.
Who's the MVP? Yeah. Who's the MVS of the episode?
We're also going to be talking about, which I know Ash is very excited about, fashion hits and misses.
Because I love 90s fashion. Yes. And each week, I'm going to take a wooden stake stab at what's going to happen next.
But don't worry, no spoilers. And we are starting at the very beginning.
From Wondery, I'm Alayna. And I'm Ash. And this is The Rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
This is episode one. Welcome to the Hellmouth.
Welcome. Insert cool music here. I'm really excited for it.
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Some cases fade from headlines. Some never made it there to begin with.
I'm Ashley Flowers, and on my podcast, The Deck, I tell you the stories of cold cases featured on playing cards distributed in prisons designed to spark new leads and bring long overdue justice.
Because these stories deserve to be heard, and the loved ones of these victims still deserve answers.
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Let's go. I'm so excited. I obviously, again, have only seen one episode.
So just kind of like, I don't know, what was it about Buffy that just got you?
This was where I wanted to be. Okay, I could see why.
It drew me in immediately. Yeah. I think it was just like, I want to be in this world.
It's like it's escapism and like it's purest form.
Fully. Fully escapism to the point, like Ash said, this was like the time of AOL.
When AOL was brand new, you get the CD in the mail with 20 free hours on it.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot. And I remember they were chat rooms were a huge thing and they were all like labels.
You can go in different categories of chat rooms.
Yeah, they were all. And of course, there was a whole brand of chat rooms that were called like RPG chat rooms.
And you just playing games. You would go in there.
You would chat Buffy because you would pick the Buffy one or whatever you were into.
You would go in there, you would chat Buffy, and then you would make this entire, it was almost like making an entire movie in there of all the characters.
And you got your role and you got to write that scene.
That sounds like a lot of fun. Like you're saying that's nerdy, but I feel like that sounds like fun.
It was a blast. I loved it. But it's like, it's essentially LARPing on the internet.
Yeah, it's varping. It's varping. It's virtual action role playing.
It's literally varping. And that's what this was all about.
You heard it here first. Oh, yeah. And me and my friends used to write, you know, fan fiction for it.
Like we were like into it. I was one years old when this premiered.
Yeah. So she was like not on this train.
I remember you had the yearbooks. Oh, yeah.
I got the Sunnydale yearbooks. You had a lot of Buffy the Vampire stuff.
Yeah, I had posters on the walls. I always thought it was very cool of you to have those things.
I think I might have told my friends when I was little that I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even though I never watched it.
Amazing. Yeah, I was like, I want to be cool like Lainey.
Yeah. I love that so much. Meanwhile, you were like, I was not cool.
I was not cool at all, but I felt real cool.
And it was fun. I had a lot of fun varping.
Varping as a cool gal. I was. But enough about me, you know, varping in the 90s, which I know we could do an entire episode about.
Maybe we will. Oh, my God. Yes. I was just going to say that.
Maybe we will. Enough about that. No, I'm going to play you a clip from the first episode.
And I'm just going to say, this is kind of the perfect clip to set things up.
Are you ready? Let's do it. Slayer slays a watcher.
Watchers? Yes. No. He trains her. He prepares her.
Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school?
For losing all of my friends? Yes. for having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them.
And this is kind of a theme throughout the whole series.
It's kind of Buffy fighting against being the Slayer, fighting against her chosen status.
And having to deal with because she's having to deal with juggling that and just the stuff that comes along with being a teenage girl.
Yeah, I could barely do all of that. I can't imagine also having to be the like the only one to fight vampires.
Yeah, the chosen one. And so this whole thing keeps happening throughout the series where you see her like gradually coming to accept her position and Giles kind of pushing her into acceptance.
All right. We got to get into the episode.
Specifically, it takes place at Sunnydale High, which is where I know I wanted to go.
And I think you guys are all going to want to go there too.
Maybe, I guess. It's a little scary, but it's kind of awesome.
No, you're right. Episode one, I was like, where do I enroll?
Who do I talk to? Yeah. Can I like never been kissed it and just like fake enroll?
Actually. Hello, I'm Josie Grossi. What do you think of it?
The first episode. I am. The first episode, immediately, I was like, okay, next episode, let's go.
And you were like, no, you can't yet. The whole premise of the show is that you can't do that.
You can't skip ahead yet. I love it. First of all, I feel like 90s culture, like I've always loved 90s culture, even though I very much grew up in the mid 2000s.
But I've always been into that. And I also feel like it's kind of reemerging right now.
It is. You know how like fashion. A version of it is reemerging.
Yeah, it's not exactly reemerging. Yeah, it's not like on point.
Yeah, yeah. But you know what I'm saying.
You're giving it a shot. So I feel like I'm kind of in it right now.
Like I'm in a place of 90s while watching this.
I love that for you. I want to be friends with Buffy.
Yeah. I don't want to be friends with Cordelia, but younger me would have.
I was going to say, but you like kind of relate to her in a way.
I very much relate to her. I'm not... I'm not mean.
But I could see in your eyes the whole time.
You're like, oh, she's cool. Do I kind of get Cordelia?
Yeah, I do. I just don't get her meanness.
I did not. I can tell you that much. Yeah.
I love I love all the characters like I already want to know more about them.
And I've already got predictions. I've got a lot of questions.
I'm like ready to go. I'm excited about it.
So this episode starts, and I believe a lot of episodes start, especially in the first season, with the quote, like somebody saying over it, In every generation there is a chosen one.
She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.
She is the Slayer. She is the Slayer. And she is.
It's everything you need to know. It sets you up right away.
It really does. And it brings you back to a time of, like, WB.
Oh, yeah. Right back. Which I think I really only got to experience because I had you.
Yeah, because this was really a time for the WB.
Yeah, the WB was killing it. And this was also the time when they would do these very intense previews and intros where they would have all the actors from the biggest shows.
They'd have Sarah Michelle Gellar. They had the Roswell cast or the popular cast, which did anyone else watch popular during this time?
You had to have. It was great. Not me. But they would be on, like, the WB backlot with, like, the big letters behind them all, like, lit up like neon.
Oh, my God. And they would say something, like, really sassy in their character.
And it was—you were ready. But let's get into the episode.
So when we first start the episode, we immediately get introduced to Sunnydale High School, which is the smart way to do it because—
Almost everything's going to take place at Sunnydale High School.
It's a big part of this entire series. It very much makes sense.
This is where we're going to meet Darla.
Right off the bat, I love Darla. You love Darla.
You love her. She's in like a Catholic schoolgirl uniform.
My first thought was I would wear that. And that's her like uniform.
Oh, she always wears that. She wears that a lot.
Okay. It's like her thing. And, you know, like she's very important later.
So... you know, Ash, remember that. Noted.
And when, so she's on like a date with some turd.
Some just like, oh God, like so skeevy. He's really skeevy and he's obviously a human.
That's very obvious. At first, you don't know that Darla's not a human either until she suddenly vamps out.
And that's what they used to call it on Buffy.
They used to call it vamping out. That's when they like turn the face and turn into like a vampire.
I love it. It was always like, oh, they vamped out.
That's hilarious. I love that. Because when you talk about it later, you'd be like, oh, do you, what part did, what part was your favorite?
And you were like, oh, I loved when Spike like vamped out at that graveyard.
Like you would talk, you would say it like that.
Like vamped out so hard. I'm vamping so hard right now.
No, not vamping. Vamping out. Excuse me.
I am vamping out so hard right now. Vamping out.
I love it. My favorite part of watching this with Ash, though, this is going to be really fun to watch with you because I love seeing your reactions.
Darla turned around and was all vamped out and Ash just said, ooh.
I didn't expect it. Because to be fully transparent here, I thought something bad was going to happen to Darla, which is clearly what they're trying to make you think.
Of course. And then it's like, He's pretty predatory.
So yeah, he's dying to get her upstairs at the school that they are.
It's a weird minute. Yeah. At this point, you're just like, okay, he kind of deserves what happens here.
100%. What's fun, though, is this is the first vamping out of the entire series.
They go right into it. I love that. I love that they make the vampire faces ugly and scary.
They are not pretty. They're not cute. None of them are.
They're like wrinkly. Yeah, the brow gets really intense.
They get the very like snarly face. They did it right by making, in my opinion, they did it right by making them like scary and not cute.
Not like, oh, he's so cute when he vamps out.
It's like, no, this is terrifying. Yeah.
I don't want that. Because it adds like a different kind of, it adds like to the mood of the show.
Yeah. And it sets it up to not be, you know.
What we're all thinking. What we're all thinking.
Yes. You know, which has its place. Of course.
Of course. Right over there. This just wasn't that.
Now, right after this happens, boom, intro.
And can I just take a minute here? Of course you can.
This song reminds me of my actual childhood because I was always with you and it was just always playing.
I was never paying attention to Buffy. No.
Like we said, I'm watching it for the first time now.
But I had the soundtrack too. Oh, I fully remember that.
Like if Ma would send us on an errand together, we'd take the long way back and listen to the Buffy soundtrack.
I remember. Oh, there was some good songs on there.
You like set up my childhood just to like be a weirdo.
Fade Into You, Mazzy Star. So good. Transylvanian Concubine.
Like there's great songs on there. And this intro, the song is just iconic.
It's all that's like playing in my mind right now.
It's like ding. And then I love when it goes... So good.
So we start once the intro is done. We see that Buffy is having these nightmares where we're seeing a lot of flashes.
A lot of these flashes happen to be the same flashes we see in the intro.
We see the cross, big silver cross. We see a graveyard.
We see ancient relics. a very evil looking vampire.
We also see an ancient book with vampire written on the cover, but it's V-A-M-P-Y-R.
So you're like, ooh, that's old. Old as shit.
I know that. That's antique. They threw a Y in there.
So I know that they took away the E. That's not even vampire.
They threw a Y in. That's not vampire. That's vampyr.
Vampyr. Vampyr. Vampyr. And this is a book that Giles eventually gives her in the library in this episode.
Yeah. Yes, so all the intro stuff comes back, like, right away.
Now, it's her first day at Sunnydale. It's Buffy's first day.
Joyce, her mom, is sweet as hell and asks her to please not get kicked out of school.
I want Joyce to be my mother. Yeah, Joyce will hold a special place in your heart through this entire series.
She already does. Oh, yeah, she does. She's wonderful.
Great. We love Joyce. We always love Joyce.
But when she's like, hey, have a great day, like, please don't get kicked out, you're like, oh, okay.
Yeah. immediately like whoa all right well especially because buffy doesn't really give you like girl that got kicked out of school vibes because she's got like this like i don't i forgot what she's wearing in the first scene i know we're gonna talk about it later oh yeah we are but she has like a little cardigan a little mini skirt very preppy very like i wouldn't even say preppy no it was just very like girl of that time yeah like cool outfit of that time but she doesn't give you like bad gal vibes no she definitely doesn't getting kicked out of school yeah I would call Willow's outfit more preppy.
I mean, that's like the epitome of preppy.
But yeah, I would say that Buffy was definitely just like really because I remember seeing this outfit and being like, well, I need to be that cool girl outfit for the rest of my life.
And you know what? We're going to start off the fashion segment with a bang because Buffy's outfit is definitely my favorite fashion moment.
I loved her boots. I loved everything about it.
She does look really good. I'm going to save mine for a little bit later.
Fair. But immediately we get introduced to Xander too.
It's nice. We get kind of everybody at once so we don't have to keep adding people on.
Right. Which I think is a good way to do it.
Just give us everybody important now. So we see Xander.
He's riding a skateboard. Not well because he catches a glimpse of Buffy walking into school and he almost brains himself on the pavement by staring at He was yeeted across the stairwell by love.
Truly. Now, luckily, this is also how we meet his best friend, Willow.
Such a cutie pie. She's precious. I can't even handle it.
Like, her outfit is precious. She's precious.
She seems... She gives off... The sweetest vibes.
Like you're just like, I want to be your friend.
Very much. You feel like you would just be like a very kind friend to have.
I do. I do really like her. And you know what she is?
She is. The only thing that I hate about this outfit is the shoes.
Yeah. I hate the shoes. So much. I mean, she does mention later that her mom picks her clothes out for her.
So I mean, she's just going with what she's given.
Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't care about that too much.
She's there to learn. She's at school for the right reasons.
Yeah, she is. She's just there to learn and to help people.
You know, Willow for life. Forever. That's all I'm saying.
We also meet Xander's friend, Jesse. You know, Jesse is Jesse.
I'm not going to give him too much of an introduction.
I would have swooned over Jesse in high school.
You would have loved Jesse. Jesse was everything I was after in high school.
I would have loved him. He was a cutie butt.
Oh, we love Jesse, but we'll see how Jesse fares.
Yeah, I get worried for him later on because the brain cells aren't collectively working together later on.
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Buffy has to go meet with Principal Flutie, who is trying to act like Sunnydale is this place where no one gives a shit about your past.
But when he sees into it, he's like, you know what?
Like, no one cares about this record. Like, whatever.
And he just rips it up in front of her. And she's like, wow, this is great.
Because, like, that's a really scary record.
So, like, I'm glad you did that. Thank you, sir.
But then he catches a little tidbit of it as he's ripping it up.
And he was like, okay. Like, you literally burned down the gym at your old school?
Yeah. And she's like, you know what? Yes, I did.
But she says, I did. I really did. But you're not seeing the big picture here.
I mean, that gym was full of vampire... Asbestos.
So that's my quote of the week right away.
That's a pretty perfect quote of the week.
I'm not going to argue that. I remember like me and my friends quoting that all the time.
Oh, yeah. Asbestos. She's very quick on her feet, that Buffy.
She is. So witty. She actually is very quick with her feet.
She is physically and mentally. Yeah, you know.
So there's that. Killing it. You know. So, you know, he tells her, we're not going to be watching you, like, go about your business.
But it's clear he's going to be watching her.
Yeah. She burned down a gym. So he's got to.
It's actually his full on responsibility.
She runs into Xander as she's leaving the office and they bump into each other.
And of course, she drops everything. And he bumbly says, can I have you?
And then says, can I help you? I immediately would never speak to him again, to be honest, but I'm glad she's nicer than me.
It also gets worse. He like tries to introduce himself and he goes, Xander is me.
Xander is me. You know what? This is who Xander is.
Like when he says Xander is me, that is who he is.
That's my favorite. Xander is him. And she runs off because she's all flustered.
She's late for class. She's just not having a great day so far.
No. And he picks up a wooden stake that she forgot on the floor.
And he says, hey, you forgot your... steak.
And he's like, what the fuck is this? And you're like, oh, shit.
So she's in class next. We see that Cordelia is nice to her, sharing her book with her, which really gives you a totally different view of who Cordelia really is.
Yeah. Because when you see this, you're like, wow, that was really nice.
That was really nice of that beautiful girl.
With the great blouse. Yeah, with the great blouse.
Love her blouse in that. Great fucking blouse.
But this is an act. Don't be fooled. This is not who Cordelia is as a person.
I dislike how she is, like, to Willow. Like, I really don't like that.
But then there's other parts of her that are hilarious.
Like, she's a great character. She's a great character.
She really is. Charisma Carpenter is great as Cordelia.
So Cordelia is being kind of nice. But then we immediately she walks out with her and we start to see who Cordelia is because she starts talking about how she needs to spot the losers and she's going to help her do that.
And she does this whole test of coolness.
She says that because Buffy is from L.A., she can skip the written.
Yeah, she can skip the written. But then she says, here's your test of coolness.
Vamp nail polish. Um, over? So over. James Spader.
He needs to call me. Frappuccinos. Trendy, but tasty.
John Tesh. The devil. That was pretty much a gimme, but you passed.
Oh, good news. So after she gives Buffy this coolness test, she starts messing with Willow right away.
Yeah. And it's immediately you're just like, OK, you're not nice at all.
And I hate this about you. Yeah. She kind of like bullies her away from the water fountain and she makes fun of her outfit.
She says, good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears.
Yeah. Funny quote. Very funny quote. Not nice.
But, like, what a jerk. You could say that to, like, your girlfriend if you were messing with her, but you don't say that to somebody to, like, actually bully them for simply existing.
Yeah, exactly. And she says something like, oh, that must be why you're such a guy magnet.
And it's like, get out of here, Cordelia.
Bye. It's also like... Why do you care?
That's the thing. Bullies always care about everybody else.
And it's like, why? Just worry about you.
Let me live. Just let me live in my Sears outfit.
Who cares? Live and let live. Exactly. I did see the softer side of Sears, and I liked it.
So I purchased this jumper. And also, Cordelia, that's bold talk coming from someone who is wearing shoes that make them look like a 50,000-year-old random substitute librarian.
Go off. I couldn't think of like exactly what I was going for, but they're bad shoes.
Those were some clunky ass heels. They were also brown.
So never. Nope. Stop. They're just bad. Maybe walk away, Glasshouse.
I don't know. Agreed. So now we get to go to the bronze, guys.
Because, of course, Buffy gets told about the bronze by Cordelia because... you know, Cordelia's the cool girl.
And she's like, yeah, it's like the only club in town, which I was like, you're in high school, everybody.
Immediately, I was like, what? But you're like, all right, go to a club at 16, I guess.
I don't know, 17, however old you are. I very much did that.
So before we go to the bronze, Buffy has to go to the library.
Yes. This is when we meet Giles. Yes. My dude.
Hot librarian dad vibe. Hot librarian vibes.
I love it. I would say Giles looks elegant.
He's very suave. He's very tweed magic. What is tweed magic?
I don't know. I love that. It's how I feel about him.
I would have had a huge crush on him if I was in school.
Like, I would have loved him. Right, because you were Willow.
I would have absolutely loved him. Still do.
Think he's great. Love his tweed jacket.
I have no notes for him. Like, get it, Giles.
Yeah, I think he knows what he's doing. He knows what his style is.
Yeah, change nothing. Yeah, he's just there.
Love the glasses. Love a man in glasses.
I know, and I like his. I would say that they also age like a vampire.
They do. Like, I love Glasses. Married a Glasses guy.
Loved it. Marrying a Glasses guy. There you go.
So we're in for it. And he knows who she is immediately because he is her watcher.
Now, he says, he looks at her and he's like, oh, I know exactly what you're looking for.
And he slaps that book down that says across it, V-A-M-P-Y-R.
The Empire. Right from her dream, her nightmare, I should say, and the intro to the series.
So you know that this is a big deal. And she is. pissed.
She is not happy. She's like, that's not what I'm looking for.
And she just, she just dips. She's like, she's like, peace out.
And me, I'm like, if he had slammed that book down, I was like, this is what you're looking for.
I'd be like, hell yeah, that's what I'm after, Giles.
Elena would have canceled the rest of her schedule, cleared some extra time in the afternoon and just hung out with Giles.
100% pure book. I'm realizing now at 36, especially I am more and more I'm realizing I am Giles.
I relate a lot to him. Immediately, episode one, I was like, oh, look, Elena.
That's Elena. Yeah, I get it. Like, I definitely didn't relate to him when I was younger.
But now I'm like, wow. Well, you're wise now.
I'm wise now. There it is. Now, we cut to some girls talking crap in the locker room.
And they immediately get a nice little kick from Karma.
And they're talking crap about Buffy. They're like, oh, did you see your hair?
Like, they're just gross. And they are clearly jealous because Sarah Michelle Gellar's hair, Buffy's hair.
Amazing. I would pay for that daily. And you always will.
Like, she kills it with the hair. She has beautiful hair.
She still does. She does. Now, they immediately get a karma kick because the date from the first scene falls out of one of their lockers when they open it right onto her, and he is dead.
Dead boy. They are shrieking. When she screams, I believed her.
I will give her that. I believed that. I almost feel like they didn't tell her that was going to happen.
It was for real. You know what? That's a very good point because that was a very believable scream.
Yeah, it elicited a real reaction. Yeah, I appreciated it.
But that happens and they just kind of like cut away from it.
And Buffy is joining Willow for lunch outside.
We have besties in motion here. And we get that feel too.
You're like, I know you're not going to hang with Cordeals forever.
Nope. And you can see that Buffy... When the whole thing with Cordelia was going on, she was very uncomfortable about it.
She didn't like it. You can see her go up to Willow and just be like, hey, girl, let's hang out.
Like, you can tell she's trying to be like, I'm not like that.
Right. This is when Xander and Jessie join in.
And Xander is Xander for a minute because Willow tries to introduce them, but as we know, they've already met.
Yes. So... He drops this line. Buffy is like fully ready to file a restraining order. at this point.
Fully ready. And I would also be. And you can tell as he gets like further in that whole thing, he's like, well, I'm committed to this.
So I just have to keep going. It's like you're standing there and you just want to stop him.
You're just like, stop it. Too much. No game.
No game, baby. And this is when he returns the steak.
That she had dropped earlier. Which is great.
And she's like, oh, yeah, you know, like, everyone in L.A. has these.
Nobody has mace anymore. It's self-defense.
She says pepper spray is just so passe. It is, obviously.
Carry a steak. Now, Cordelia comes in being rude as hell. immediately she just walks in and like just insults them all but she somehow came over to them and felt the need to tell them about the dead boy in the locker right which i'm like you don't even like them why are you telling them but okay and she's like yeah and she says it very casually that's just somebody found a dead guy in a locker that's it and buffy is very intrigued by this of course she is very intrigued she's like well what happened were Where their marks?
Like, she's like a medical examiner. She wants to know everything.
I love her in this. She's like, where their blow flies?
And Cordelia is very put off by this. And she says a pretty great quote.
Pretty fitting. Morbid much? It's like she knows us.
She does. She knew we were going to do this.
She did. But she's, as we can see, Cordelia is immediately becoming put off by Buffy.
Yeah, she's like, you have weird energy.
And Cordelia doesn't know what to do with weird energy.
She does not. She's definitely threatened by it.
Oh, for sure she is. She's like, great hair, great outfit, but you're weird.
Yeah. And I don't know how to deal with this.
Can't do it. So Buffy takes it upon herself to go check this dead dude out because that's what she does.
That's her thing. She's always looking. And she finds marks on his neck.
Now, to get in there, she broke a door, like actually broke a door, like a locked steel door.
Okay. Like, she broke the door. She's the flare.
We accept this. Upper body strength times a million.
And you will always accept this. She can break whatever she wants.
She can get wherever she wants. Like, it's accepted from here on out.
Well, she's the chosen one. She is. She's the chosen one.
What I was more concerned—I wasn't even concerned about her breaking a door to get in there, a steel door.
I was more like, why do you have access to this crime scene so easily?
Why is no one around— like guarding this crime scene.
Everything seems to just be going off without a hitch at school after this crime scene occurred.
Like, don't you think they would be let out for the day?
That's the thing. I'm like, so we're just continuing school.
But again, this is Sunnydale High School.
Anything goes. We're going to find out that a lot of shit happens here.
And maybe they're just becoming desensitized to it.
Ooh. Just saying. Also, the special effects makeup in here leaves a little to be desired.
I was going to say, I was like, you weren't only put off by the fact that she got in there so easily.
There was something else that really irked you.
Yeah. It was the seam in that. Okay. So I love Face Off, the show, that RIP that show.
That was a great show. So I have made myself a special effects master in my own mind.
I am an expert. And there was this like one little bite mark on his neck had a seam running around it where the patch of like fake bite mark was.
And it just bothered me. Again, this is like the 90s.
So it was a little different. But still, I noticed it and I was like, oh, you're better than that.
But we see Giles and Buffy immediately face off in the library after she sees this bite.
Buffy slams again. She loves to slam into the library.
And she goes, okay, what's the sitch? And that's my favorite.
That is. What's the sitch? That's very representative of this entire thing.
Oh, yeah. Right there. In the time period as well.
100%. It's like, what's your damage? What's your damage?
That's one of my favorite. But you know what?
She lets him know that she isn't interested in being the Slayer anymore.
She just wants to go through high school.
And we see how being, because she kind of brings up how being the Slayer is, It brings up a lot of shit with it in that you lose friends.
You have to lie to people you love. You get kicked out of schools.
You lose the ability to just be a teenager.
And it, like, brings it down for a second to, like, a real level that you're like, oh, that does sound shitty.
It does. Like, oh, I didn't think of that.
And the super dramatic, like, score in the background.
Oh, yeah, like the boo. You're like, Buffy, I'm sad for you.
Yeah, somebody just laid their finger on those keyboard keys.
Very much. Those electronic keyboard keys, like.
Buffy is sad. It's true. I have a question at this point.
Ask away. You are my watcher. This isn't like my big question, but it's just a little question.
So at this point, we find out that Giles is a watcher.
Yes. And he kind of like explains that quickly.
Yeah. But we don't, like personally, I don't know exactly what that means yet.
And my question is, does that mean that Giles has some kind of experience like being a slayer or no?
No. No. He is just a watcher. And as we'll see, there is like a watcher's council.
Okay. So it becomes, they explain the whole thing.
They explain how they become that, why they become that.
And it's like he learns how to become a watcher?
He learns. Or he's a chosen one in a different way?
He learns all about the supernatural. He knows about vampires, demons, all kinds of ancient curses.
He's really good at research. He's able to teach.
Okay. That's basically like he, that's his skill, is he can teach.
Okay. He's the brains of the operation.
Yeah, he's definitely the brains of the operation.
Okay. And he's who she can turn to for what do I do next if she's stuck.
Okay. And he can help kind of come up with that.
And it becomes more like you become more familiar with what that is.
Right. It's a whole thing that'll become much clearer.
Okay. All right. That was just my little question.
That's not my big one. I appreciate it. I appreciate the answer.
Hey, anytime. Now he, at this point, even though he's heard her, you know, say that this sucks and I just want to be a normal teenager, he wants to convince her to keep going because one, she's the chosen one.
There's only one in a generation. So he's like, You kind of have to.
Like, this is kind of your duty. You cannot retire.
You can't really retire. Like, you just have to go through it.
And also because he thinks Sunnydale is some kind of portal or hell mouth.
Yes. Which this episode is entitled. Welcome to the hell mouth.
And I love that episode title. It's a great episode title.
Now, he says there's a lot of weird things happening here.
Death, strange creatures, all the like. And he is also new here.
He moved here as like the new librarian when she showed up.
And we know that because Willow explains that he moved as the new librarian and she was stoked about it.
Oh, yeah, she was psyched. She was like, he has all these ancient books, and it's so cool.
Like, I felt her. I feel like you were Willow, and then you evolved into Giles.
There you go. Wow. I like that. Right? I'll take that.
I could see that. I will happily take that.
Now, Xander, we find out when, because she, like, storms out.
Like, she's like, nope, not into it. Xander, all of a sudden, peeks out behind one of the stacks, because he had been listening the entire time, and we had no idea.
I was shook. And he just goes... What? That was a perfect rendition of that.
He very much is just like, excusez-moi? The way he says it is so like, what?
He's like, are you, are anybody care to elaborate?
Like, did I just hear this? So immediately we're like, uh-oh, Xander now knows.
Right. Now Giles keeps after her. He follows her into the hallway and he keeps trying to tell her, I've been researching this.
I've been watching it. All signs are pointing to something big and bad happening soon.
And you have to help. And she's like, bye, get out of here.
Now we get a quick little shot of literal hell.
I think it is. We go underground. That's what I felt like it was.
Like it's very Lost Boys hideout under the school.
Yes. We're going through like... Oh, this is under the school.
This is under the school. Oh, See, I didn't realize that.
I thought we just flashed to like another place.
Oh no, we just whoop right down. Oh, you just changed things entirely for me.
Right under the school. Okay. There's candles, there's vampires, there's chanting, there's pools of blood, there's thrones.
You meant pools of fruit punch. It definitely looks like fruit punch.
You are correct. I was like, can I get a ladle real quick?
Can I just have some of that? Throw a little orange slice in there.
Delicious. Zest it up. Oh, yeah. Now, we also have one really ugly vampire.
Yeah. Like, really ugly. Very off-putting man.
Did not like him at all. And he's, like, very big.
Like, very, like, just beefy. He's too intense.
He's a lot. In every sense of the word. Yeah, I am not a fan of this one.
And he is chanting, the sleeper will wake.
The sleeper will wake. And then finally he finishes it, and the world will bleed.
The sleeper will wake and the world will bleed.
Yeah. And they all say amen. And I was alarmed.
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So this is when we see her getting ready to go to the bronze.
Because remember, Cordelia was like, you got to come.
It's a cool place to be. This one is definitely aged like a human, I would say, because she is getting ready to go out.
And she's trying on different outfits. And she holds one up that's like this pleather, black pleather outfit.
It is a straight up like dominatrix outfit.
I was like, why does a 16-year-old have that?
Was that like a really intense Halloween costume?
It had to have been. Were you pinhead for Halloween?
What was this? What were you? But she holds it up and she says, hi, I'm an enormous slut.
Yeah. And I was like, ooh. It was like. Very jarring.
Because you would never hear that in a show now.
The world has changed. And it would certainly not be on like a teen show.
No. But back then, obviously, things were different.
Anything meant. People said different stuff.
But it was very jarring to hear now. It was.
So I'd say that one definitely aged like a human.
Definitely. Didn't age well at all. I think we shared the same segment there, segment idea.
Because when it came up, we both were like, ooh.
But we get her walking to the bronze and she's not wearing that outfit.
So don't worry about it, I guess. No, she's walking to the bronze.
It's dark. She's walking down some side streets.
Someone is clearly following her. Yes. Yes.
Buffy knows this because she is Buffy. She has super Slayer senses.
Of course. She knows. But she keeps on walking.
She heads to an alleyway. And boom, she Simone Biles herself up onto a pipe.
Literally, it's like the uneven bars where she's just like, doing a handstand on the pipe.
And like perfectly straight. She definitely is perfectly straight.
We don't see it. I just know it. Yeah. And then she swings down and she tackles this thing that is following her to the ground.
And I just have to say that I think this is yours as well.
This is my badass Buffy moment of the week.
This is a pretty badass Buffy moment of the week, I would say.
This is where we meet Angel. And this is when I am in like Flynn.
I knew Ash was going to love Angel. Okay, Angel.
You know what? My friend Linz, shout out to Linz.
I know Linz. Hugest Angel fan. Hugest. Her screen name used to be like Angel something.
I love it. We were, because I was like, I was a Spike girl.
She was an Angel girl. Like we lived that life.
I understand it. He was it. I mean, he was it.
He's still like, you know, he's in Bones.
He's in all that stuff. He's a chiseled goddess.
He's a chiseled goddess. That jawline could have messed you up.
Yeah. I mean, he was a good looking guy.
He always looks okay. Are you all right?
But I hate the giant collar look. Like that oversized collar.
He commits to this look like for a long time.
I'm never on board for it. I don't like it at all.
Also, his jacket when we see him is like the shiny satin fabric.
I love it. Like... But again, I'm not an Angel gal, so he just doesn't do it for me.
Swoon city. I will agree with you about the collar.
I hate the collar. On anybody else, it wouldn't work.
But I'm going to do like a Willow moment that you just had for Angel.
It works for him. I will agree. Everything works for him.
I will agree with that because I don't like it.
And no, nay, I hate it. Nay, nay. But Angel needs that big collar.
Yeah, because it kind of just like balances his beautiful jawline.
It's dramatic. It's broody. It's all of the things.
It's very Angel. Eleganza. And it becomes a very like representation of him.
Like, you know, he's going to have that big collar.
It's... He goes to the same tailor every week.
He does. He gets me right off the bat, too, because he goes, don't worry, I don't bite.
Yeah. And you're like, ooh. And I just, like, rolled my ass.
It's so funny because Buffy is, like, squared up.
Oh, yeah. She's ready to fight him. She's always squared up.
I love it. That's the Slayer stance. Always.
You're going to see that, like, two fists up, ready to fight.
Like, one-two punch, ready to go. Once an episode, at least.
Great. Like, she is always in that position, ready to, like, just mess people up.
It gets me ready for the scene. Like, I'm like, oh, yes, let's go.
Oh, it does. She's like on it. And so we meet Angel.
He's going to be a huge part of this whole series.
And you can tell right off the bat. He's not just going to be like a fly in, fly out kind of guy.
He obviously knows who she is. He knows that she's a slayer.
He's even got a gift for her. He does. He says, you know what?
I think we want the same thing. And she's like, what's that?
And he goes, to kill them all. And you're like, whoa, all right.
What's this about? And then he says something about, you know what?
We're at the mouth of hell and it's about to open.
Then he throws her the cross necklace that we saw in her nightmare and in the intro.
And he tells her, you got to be ready. And she's like, for what?
And he says, for the harvest. You're standing at the mouth of hell.
And it's about to open. Don't turn your back on this.
You've got to be ready. What for? For the harvest.
And that's the first we hear of this harvest.
That's the first we hear of the harvest.
And he leaves broodingly, like he broods away.
Mm-hmm. Just like he always and forever will do, by the way.
He is a broodmaster 2000. I know he is. Brooding everywhere.
Brood, brood, brood. Everywhere. Also, the harvest sounds so metal.
It does. And so awesome. Yeah. I feel like it's going to be like harvesting human bodies to eat those.
So I'm not stoked. But when you just hear like the harvest, you're like, hell yeah.
Very much so. And also at this point, Buffy goes, who are you?
Yeah. And he's like, I'm a friend. And she goes, maybe I don't want a friend.
And you can tell right off the bat that she wants to be more than his friend, honey.
And then he turns around and it's all sassy.
And I'm just like, guys, make out. And he goes, I didn't say I was yours.
Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
I didn't say I was yours. I love it. I love it so much.
I'm like, just shut up and kiss. Like, this is Ash's perfect.
And I knew it. I was like, she's going to love this meet cute.
It's my sexual tension moment of the week.
I knew you were going to love this introduction for Angel.
I love love. And I know they're not in love.
Like, I know this is going to be a weird thing, but...
You don't know? I don't know. You don't know anything.
Is it getting a little hot in here? I don't know.
You are in the sun. So maybe. Very much.
But yeah, this is a very good introduction to Angel.
It kind of gives you exactly who he is as a character.
Character. Yeah. There you go. I was like, what is the word?
Person. Vampire character. Person, vampire character.
Enigma. Enigma. There you go. He is what he is.
Now, she goes right into the bronze. We hear there's always a band playing at the bronze, and it was always the band that was happening at the moment, usually.
Okay. And this time, for the first episode, they got Nerf Herder.
Who? Who? also perform the Buffy theme song and the theme song to our podcast.
I know. It's crazy. We got Nerf Herder to write and perform an original theme song for this podcast, and we're very obsessed with it.
I love it. I could not stop listening to it when it got sent to us.
I listened to it on repeat. I actually headbanged so hard that I pulled a muscle.
I love it. So this is when we when I personally get into a little bit of a Cordelia moment because Willow needs to burn everything that she's wearing right now.
Why is she wearing that? How? Who let her wear that?
It's so bad. Okay. I mean, I just. I hate it.
So, Willow's character, this is just who she is.
It is. And I love her. I want to help her.
I want to have a clueless tie moment. Yeah.
And fix it all. She kind of just, she is who she is, like, through the entire series.
Oh, yeah. Her outfits are very Willow. Through the whole series.
See, I'm not thinking about, like, her personality.
I'm just thinking of, like, what I like and don't like.
And I don't like this. And I do not like this.
I'm not here for this. I would say Xander's looks are so quintessentially 90s guy.
90s skater boy. Like, the big open button-ups that are, like, oversized.
The big, like, the almost JNCO jeans that are happening.
Like, there's the... the little necklaces with little charms on them usually they were like a yin and yang kind of thing i'm waiting for a puka shell neck oh there's gonna be puka shells galore there's just it's very 90s i i love xander's look yeah and his haircut like the mushroom cut kind of thing like the messy one it's very much of the time i appreciate it greatly i would have thought he was adorable Oh, I would have been very into Xander.
So we're back at the bronze and Buffy runs into Willow at like the bar area, but she's just eating raisins.
I am angry about it. I'm like, Willow, just do yourself a little tiny baby favor.
But, you know, like, they are, like, teenagers, though.
So it's like she can't be sitting there drinking at the bar.
And it's like maybe they had raisins. Could she just have, like, you know, like, the bar snacks?
Like a trail mix? Just a trail mix, even.
Yeah. It's true. I want her to succeed. And, like, I want her, you know?
You know what I mean? Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah.
It's a lot. I'll give you that. That's a lot.
Thank you. You were against me at first on this.
And I was like, no, if you saw somebody eating raisins, I would.
I can't even say it. Raisin. You can't. You can't even get it out.
I can't even bring myself to think about myself doing it.
But if you saw that, you'd be like, what?
Yeah, because you're just like, that's not helping you.
That doesn't fit here. But while she's eating raisins, she walks up to her, strikes up a conversation.
Because Buffy, again, is a good... Good friend.
And she's coming up and she's like, let's chat.
Let's get you away from this bar with these raisins.
Now she tells her they kind of have a little discussion about like, you know, being seizing the day and being like having more confidence because Willow's saying I have no confidence.
Like it hurts. Yeah, it's really sad. She's just kind of like admitting that she doesn't feel she feels very inadequate.
She can't really talk to guys. So she doesn't date a lot.
She gets very nervous. So Buffy kind of tells her, you know what? you know, basically tells her YOLO, like tells her like, you could die tomorrow.
She's like, get out there, girl. Go after it.
So she says, seize the moment, like have the confidence, just do it when you can.
And this like resonates with Willow. You can see it.
She like starts turning it over in her head.
The gears are moving. Exactly. Willow, or excuse me, Buffy spots Giles up in the rafters, like hanging out watching the music, which is wild.
And she's like, you know what? I'll be right back.
And Willow's just left to kind of ponder this whole thing.
Buffy goes up there where Giles is. She rags on him a little bit.
Tells him he needs a personality at one point.
He has one. She's like, you need a personality stat.
And I'm like, he has one, Buffy. Yeah, you're mad.
Okay. Tweed magic is what his personality is.
But whatever. He's there to make her understand.
He's like, I'm here because I need to convince you that something bad is going to happen.
And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the harvest.
I know your friend told me he like attacked me in an alley.
Like I got it. And he's like, I don't know who that is.
Like, what are you talking about? What do you mean the harvest?
And she's like, you don't know him? And he's like, no, I don't.
And she's like, I really didn't like him.
And Ash out loud said, yeah, you did. Yeah.
Yes, you did, Buffy. Yeah, you did. Because she's trying to convince herself in that moment.
She is. But what we find out is the harvest is happening.
Giles didn't know about it, which is wild, because Giles usually knows about everything.
And that he doesn't know Angel. And that he did not send him after Buffy.
So you're like, who the fuck is Angel? How does he know Buffy?
Exactly. That's what I was just gonna say.
How does he know she's here? Exactly. So he's trying out something and he says, you know what, can you even spot a vampire in this crowd if there is one?
Like, you're supposed to be able to do that.
You're the Slayer. I don't think you're taking this seriously enough.
Tell me, can you spot a vampire in this crowd?
And Buffy's like, hell to the yes, I can. can.
So she looks over and she spots Willow leaving with some really creepy guy.
And she is sure this guy is a vampire. She points to his terrible fashion as proof because she says only someone living underground for 10 years would think that is a look.
And boy, was she accurate in that assessment.
It was a big collar. I'll tell you that much.
It was a big collar and it was a lot of pattern and a lot of stuff going on.
Yeah, a lot of color. So she goes to save Willow.
We're seeing our first like Buffy in action moment.
And Willow in distress moment. Cut back to Buffy, who is going after this guy and Willow.
She breaks a chair leg into a perfect stake as she's walking.
It sums up the show. It does. It really just breaks it.
Perfect stake in her hand. Now she does that stuff a lot.
She's ready to go. She's ready. At all times.
And she ends up running into Cordelia and she almost attacks her with a stake.
Because she thought she was this, you know, this guy.
And she literally holds her up by her neck onto a wall.
I was going to say. And she, Cordelia is not happy.
She's like. About this. Her face. Not happy.
It's like, what just happened? Like Buffy's cool factor dipped significantly in that moment.
It exited the building. Yeah. As far as Cordelia is concerned.
It bottomed out in that moment. It was gone.
I'm not sure if you have the same one or not, but this is my that Slade.
Oh, yeah. I would say this. This made me laugh really hard.
And this is another very quotable moment that we used to say all the time.
And I'm going to play it for you right now.
This is the that Slade. God, what is your childhood trauma?
Have you guys seen Willow? Did she come by here?
Why? Do you need to attack her with the stick?
Jeez. Excuse me. I have to call everyone I have ever met right now.
And that's Slade. I love that. Just the excuse me.
I have to go call everybody I've ever met right now.
It's so good. It's everything to me. And the what is your childhood trauma was a very quotable thing back then.
Now it seems like it's one of those things that may be aged like a human.
Yeah. But back then everybody would say, it's like, what's your damage, Heather?
Yes, yes. Like it was very much like, what is your problem?
Like, what's your deal, man? Yeah. But really quickly, can I just say, I also really love her fashion in this moment.
She's wearing like this gorgeous blue. That's like my favorite color.
I love the neckline on her dress. It's almost like a square neckline.
And she also has this like little tiny bag.
The mini bag. The mini bag, which is the thing now.
And it's a thing that I personally love.
It's an overall 10 out of 10 for me. And her hair.
Oh, how did I not talk about her hair? Her hair.
The blowout that she got. Yeah. Was that from Drybar?
Where did that happen? I need to go yesterday.
It's an enviable blowout. She also has, again, like just like Sarah Michelle, she has great hair.
She does. So it really like you can really do no wrong with hers.
So then we suddenly see further into the bronze because Buffy walks away from this whole situation.
My man. And we see Jesse. I love him. I love him.
Talking to Darla in the bronze. Buffy doesn't even spot her as a vampire, by the way, just walks right by her.
Well, she's like a little bit preoccupied because she's really worried about Willow.
She is, but I'm like, that's a bad vampire right there.
Yeah, that's like probably the bad vampire.
Talking to Jesse, who is like your new friend.
When this happened, because we see him talking to like a girl with blonde hair, suddenly she flips around in the chair that is a very 90s chair, and it's Darla.
And Ash literally goes, oh! I did. I very much did.
Say it out loud. I'm telling you, so fun to watch with Ash because fun to watch with somebody who has never watched it before because you're just like, and it's like my reactions when I first watched it.
So it's fun. I'm happy to provide you with that experience.
I appreciate it. So Xander kind of lets her know he heard everything in the library because she runs outside.
She runs into Xander. He's like, hey, by the way, I heard everything in the save Willow.
Can you, can you maybe save this? Right.
For a second. And he's like, he, the way he says it is strange because she's like, I gotta go.
Like I got something to do. And he's like, oh, I think, what does he say?
Like, I forget exactly how he intros it, but he's like, he basically says, I know you're the slayer, but he goes, I know you think you're the slayer.
And that is something that I really want to talk about with you later.
Yeah, we definitely are going to hit upon this again, because just him knowing or seeming to know what's going on is like a pretty big deal here.
Agreed. But what we see here, too, is the Scooby gang beginnings.
Because now that Xander is getting brought into this, you're like, ooh.
Scooby-Doo. He's gonna know. We'll get further into the Scooby gang.
That's what they're called. They end up being called the Scoobies.
That's cute. Yeah, it's the whole gang. I love that it's the Scooby gang, too, because then Sarah Michelle later is in the Scooby-Doo movie.
There you go. Funny. It works out. All of a sudden, we cut back to hell.
Hell mouth. Hell mouth. The mouth of hell.
Where we see that a vampire that is called the Master comes out of that bubbling fruit punch.
Which I'm assuming is supposed to be blood.
I hate him. He's fully clothed. He's completely dry when he comes out.
Confused. Magic. He's bald. He's like a very scary.
He's vamped out like all the time. He's just vamped out.
He's living in a place of vamp. Yeah, he's always living in a place of vamped out.
Apparently, though, he says he's weak and they have to give him people to eat so he can get stronger.
Yeah. He gets a little predatory with it here.
He gets very predatory. Yeah, not even a dash.
He says, get me. He says, basically, get me a young one.
He says, Luke, bring me something young.
Yeah. And Luke is like, sure thing. I do, however, need the master's chair.
He does have a very cool chair. It's a great like throne-y kind of gothic chair.
I appreciate it. Iron throne, but like a little different.
Yeah, like not at all like the Iron Throne.
Yeah, Iron Throne, but entirely different.
I was like, not even a little bit. Iron Throne, but just get the idea of the Iron Throne out of your mind while you make this chair.
And just think of a chair. Cool, thanks.
Like a goth chair. Yeah, that's your assignment.
There you go. So already we're like, oh, this must be the sleeper wakes, the sleeper wakes, the world's going to bleed.
I'm assuming the master was the sleeper.
Now the world's going to bleed. And that's no good.
Is this the full blown harvest right now?
Yeah. Like what's happening here? It sets you up to be like something bad's happening and that there's vampires out there that are getting people to give to the master to strengthen them.
So this is bad. Now we cut back to Willow, who has left the bronze with that guy that Buffy is trying to find them.
Willow is full-blown seizing the moment.
She is seizing that moment. Unfortunately, this is not the moment to seize.
Yeah, she misunderstood the assignment a little bit.
They're heading into a graveyard. And he's like, this is a shortcut.
It's never a shortcut. And it's like, I don't think so.
Whenever they say, like, I know a shortcut, the answer is no.
They're going to kill you. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
They head into a crypt, which should have never happened.
Like, never should have happened. Also, he walks into this crypt and he's like, ever been in one of these?
Oh, have I ever been in a crypt? No. No.
No, I can't say I have. I'm not the crypt keeper.
And Willow, do you really think Willow's been in a crypt?
Definitely not. You're really just asking her if she's hung out in a crypt?
Her sweater should have told you otherwise.
And he vamps out and attacks Willow. Immediately they are interrupted because she's like fighting him off.
Darla comes in with a half-drank Jesse. And he's saying...
I think you gave me a hickey. I think she gave me a hickey.
I'm like, she gave you more than a hickey, bud.
And he's like, what the hell? Like the other vampires, like you're supposed to bring him to the master.
And she's like, I got hungry on the way.
Funny. So she like drank some of his blood.
He's not in good shape. He doesn't look good.
She kind of tosses him on the ground. Willow goes over to him and they're just kind of like huddled together.
I mean, basically they're gathering teens for this master, which is like a very unsettling thing.
He asked for young blood. But you know what?
Here comes Buffy. To save the day. She's witty.
She's ready to banter. She's ready to fight.
This is... Our brutal banter of the week.
Brutal banter, baby. There is always going to be brutal banter before every fight.
It's necessary. It's comforting. You're going to come to love it.
I'm excited to know that that's going to happen every single week.
Here's your first one. This is nice. It's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows.
Who the hell are you? You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already?
Phew, that's a relief. I'm telling you, having a secret identity in this town is a job of work.
Buffy, we bail now, right? Not yet. Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit?
Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge.
Now, we can do this the hard way, or... Well, actually, there's just the hard way.
That's fine with me. Are you sure? Now, this is not gonna be pretty.
We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...
So for me, this doubles as not only the brutal banter of the week, but also my personal quote of the week, which is, you look like DeBarge.
It's an amazing quote. It gives me a little bit of RuPaul's Drag Race.
It gives me a little bit insult. It gives me life.
I also hated his outfit. I loved it. It really worked.
Funny. And she delivered it really well, too.
Yeah. This is when, as soon as she says this, she just stakes bad fashion vampire.
Boom, dust. Xander and Willow and Jesse run because she's like, get out of here.
They are quickly surrounded by a bunch of vampires in the graveyard.
Yeah. Didn't end well for them. No, it definitely didn't.
It's it's looking bad and we get it to be continued moment.
But first we see we see that Buffy is holding her own with Darla.
Mm hmm. Luke shows up, though, and he messes stuff up.
He yeets her across the room with a force of a thousand sums.
He does. He ends up throwing her into, like, a grave, like, a crypt there, and, like, into a tomb, I should say.
And he tells her there's a harvest coming, and the blood of men will flow like wine, and the master will walk among them once more, and the earth will belong to the old ones, and hell itself will come to town.
Yeah. Yeah. whoa i like i what do you say to that you say uh whoa yeah and he goes to bite her and then boom to be continued the fact that i actually had to end here too like you know what happens next you're fine you're sleeping at night i'm not i'm good where i know that buffy obviously continues because there's many many seasons but what the heck is gonna happen what's gonna happen i don't know Well, you know what?
We're going to talk about what our big bad of the week was.
This is who we think was, usually it was referred to at the time, the worst, like the bad guys in Buffy were referred to as the big bad.
Yes. I believe she is the one who coins that term at some point, like, ooh, the big bad.
Yep. So who is our big bad of the week? We might have the same, we might have different.
So who is your big bad of the week? Okay, so obviously there was like a lot of moments with multiple people that could have been the big bad.
Could have been Cordelia for being mean.
Could have been Master for being gross. I am who I am, okay?
It's Willow for eating raisins at that bar.
I love her, but that's big, bad energy. That is big, bad energy.
I won't give it to you. Stole the show for me.
You know what? I respect that. Thank you.
I respect that choice. I appreciate it. I really do.
I'm going to go with the master because I feel like he's going to, he's trying to like, he's asking for young ones to be brought to him.
That's pretty big and bad. But I will give like an honorable mention to Cordelia for just being a bully.
Yeah, that's big and bad to me. And not in a good way.
I'll sign off on that honorable mention.
Yeah, for sure. So we got our big bad. Let's talk about our most valuable slayer.
And this does not need to be an actual slayer.
It just needs to be our most valuable player of the episode.
Okay. I am going to throw you off, I think, a little bit with this.
For me, the most valuable slayer was Xander.
Ooh. Because... I feel like he was very valuable in this episode.
First of all, he listens in on a conversation that he probably wasn't supposed to hear.
So right off the bat, we need to pay attention to him because he's got some information.
There you go. And then number two, that whole conversation where he's talking to Buffy.
I think he knows something. I think he's a valuable guy in this episode.
That's interesting. All right. I like it.
I respect it. All right, cool. Thank you.
Mine would have to be Giles. I saw that coming from 42 miles away for very obvious reasons.
He knows everything. He does. And he's great.
And he's just there to help. And he's trying to get her to do her job.
He's like, this is your job. Let's go. We need you.
You're the slayer. You're the chosen one.
You know it. I know it. We all know it. Let's go for it.
And he's not giving up. He's persistent.
And he's trying to keep her on track. So I see that.
And one more time, he's having a tweed. He's having, he's tweed magic is what he is.
He's tweed magic. And also I liked that he, he threw like some learning in there without her even realizing it.
Like he did some training while she didn't even realize he was.
Cause he was like, I bet you can't even spot a vampire in here.
And she was like, yeah, I can. And she went for it.
In his head, he was like, I knew you could spot a vampire in here.
Of course. Just making sure that you knew.
That's very much you energy. I love it. I feel like sometimes that happens to me too.
And I'm like, I know what I'm doing. And I'm like, I know that.
Yeah. I just wanted you to know that. Yep.
It happens. That's like older sister and Watcher and Giles energy all in one.
I love that. The best kind of energy. I would say so myself.
Do you have anything that you would like to ask the Watcher?
Which is me. I do. Hi, Watcher. Hi. Nice to meet you.
I've known you a while. You have. So my big question, I would say, like my big Ask the Watcher question for the week is about Angel, obviously.
Obviously. So he's clearly a vampire. I know that.
Buffy doesn't. She's like, who the heck are you?
Well, she probably knows he's a vampire.
But anyways, so he clarifies he's not her friend, but he also gives her a gift and makes it kind of seem like he's her friend.
I kind of feel like he makes it seem like he's looking out for her, but I feel like that might be a guise.
And that leads me to my question. Is he connected to like Darla, Luke, and Master?
But is he angsty about that for some reason?
He's always angsty. Okay. So very good observational skills there.
You nailed him as a character. He is angst personified.
He feels that way. Angst, angel, same exact thing.
Angst, angel, alliteration. Yeah. You can say I'm feeling very angel if you are feeling angsty and it'll mean the exact same thing.
Cool. Good to know. And most people my age will be like, I get that.
I know what you're talking about. Okay. So yes, there is a connection between these things, particularly Darla and Angel.
Oh, okay. Just want to say that. Just the two of them.
Angel is indeed a vampire. And there is a good and really complex reason for him not attacking Buffy and for him wanting to attack other vampires.
Like he said, kill them all. Yes. He's in control of his stuff.
Like a lot of vampires are not in control of what they do.
But he is. But he somehow is. There's a reason for him being so different.
And it is going to become very clear very soon.
He's a very different kind of vampire. I love that your answer just led me to more questions that I will save for next week probably.
And it will become clear. They really give Angel's story.
Like, you get the treatment pretty quick.
Like, you'll start to understand what's going on.
Okay. Because it's very important to the rest of the series.
Good to know. Yeah. And on that note, I think we will end with our wooden stake stab.
Okay. Which is going to be Ash making some prediction based only on what she has seen so far for what is going to happen next.
So take a stab. Okay, my wooden stake stab kind of goes along with my most valuable slayer or player of the week.
I'm on to Xander. Xander knows something.
My wooden stake stab is that because he says, I know you think you're the slayer, to me that says he might know of another slayer.
Like there's another Slayer already out there.
That he's aware of, I think. Okay. I think that is a very valid prediction based on what you observed here today.
Okay. Xander did make it seem like he possibly knew of another Slayer.
But remember... He was confused in the library pretty genuinely that what was a very genuine what.
He also could just be thinking that she's like a little cuckoo right now.
And that's why he's saying, you think you're the slayer.
I know you think that you're the slayer, but like, I think that you need to sit down and maybe talk to someone.
Because like something's happening here.
Yeah. Like, should I get you like a cool compress?
Like are you a little out of touch with reality?
That you think you're a slayer. I don't know.
I don't know if I trust you, Watcher. I don't know.
What's the sitch? What's the sitch? Well, guys, that was episode one.
Welcome to the Hellmouth. If you were watching along with me, thanks for watching with me.
I had so much fun with you. If you were watching me watch like Elena was, what do you want to say?
It's been so much fun, and I can't wait to keep going.
And we are going to keep going, and it will be time for The Harvest.
The Harvest is coming. And if the apocalypse comes, beat me.
Okay. Okay. The rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is hosted and executive produced by us, Ash Kelly and Elena Urquhart.
Our associate producer is Avery Siegel. Chris Kirk is our post-producer.
Music supervisor is Scott Velasquez. And our original theme song was written and performed by Nerf Herder.
For Wondery, Emily Feld is our senior producer.
Executive producers are Dave Easton, Stephanie Jens, and Marsha Louie.
If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
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