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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
And let me tell you, it did. I've been listening to it while I walk, and I am absolutely loving it.
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Hey weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. And this is another Quarantined Morbid.
And it's a spooky ooky one. Today has been the spookiest day of our whole fucking lives.
It's been real spooky up in here. And because we just finished.
Four big old episodes of the West Memphis Three, where we finally get to leave Arkansas.
Finally. Arkansas, you are beautiful. Love you, Arkansas, but I spent way too much time in your situation.
You definitely do. So we decided that this week we were going to do kind of like a like a fun, but like not fun, but like really spooky ooky thing.
It was fun. Take it in a different direction.
Yeah. Yeah. We just wanted to give you something different, you know?
Give you a little variety. Different. Just something different.
So today we're going to be covering freaky ass demon slash spirit games that you should never play.
In other words, games that will ruin your actual life.
Your whole ass life. Your lifey, your livelihood, and your wifey.
So let me so before we begin I We're just going to do a quick little business.
So for anybody who gets really mad when we cover business in the beginning, here's your cue to skip.
15 seconds. 15 seconds. you can do it just a quick little little business stop here and then after that we have a spooky story so make sure you don't fast forward over that it's a personal spooky story that happened today but without further ado guess what philadelphia we rescheduled you Philly, we're still coming for you.
We're going to be there 8, which equals August 11th.
August 11th. We are coming for you. We are going to look at your Liberty Bell.
Hell yeah. And then, guess what, DC? We're coming to the DC Improv still.
It's just going to be September 16th. September 16th, I get to see Monuments.
Monumentals. I'm so excited to see. It's going to be a monumentous occasion.
Yay. Have I ever said that before? Because why not if I haven't?
Probably. Probably. Probably like Raleigh, but that's not next. uh september 23rd we're gonna be in nashville tennessee two shows at zany Nashville, we are coming back for you.
Yes. And then the next day, the September the 24th, we'll be in Huntsville, Alabama.
We're coming for you. I am a baby and if you could just banter really quickly while I pull up the link tree because I was looking at the graphic that we had done.
Yeah. Well, so anybody who has tickets for these things, your tickets are going to transfer to these dates.
You don't have to do anything. Everything's good.
If you have any questions, please contact the venues.
Any questions about like refunds or anything, but I hope all of you can still come to these new dates because it's pretty far in advance.
So, you know, just like. Mark us down. And we're back on track.
We are. June 2nd, we'll be at the Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Woohoo. And so far, nothing is being canceled for June.
So everybody cross your fingers. I quit.
No. No, I don't quit the podcast. I just quit everything.
Oh, okay. June 3rd at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Charlotte. That sounds like shallot. Sheen shall it.
Sheen shall it. Shall it. You know what that's from?
I do. Okay. Quarantine, am I right? It is.
June 11th, Talia Hall, Chicago, Illinois.
Natalia Hall looks like the spookiest, kookiest place.
I say this all the time, but it really fits in this episode.
So spooky. We're going to be there twice because we're going to be there June 12th, the very next day.
We're so excited, Chi-town. Chi-town, baby.
July 8th, we're going to be at the Cormody Works.
The Cormody Works. Comedy Works South in Greenwood Village, Colorado.
We can't wait to see you. Everyone this episode is like, can you fire Ash? and then it's quarantine man oh god july 11th the wilbur theater in boston the wilbur the wilbur so guys let's all kick corona's butt right out of here let's kick that rona all the way out So that we can continue our live shows.
Stay home. Social distance. Wash your hands into oblivion until they're red and peeling like mine.
And if you see or you know feel the presence of a nurse or a doctor or a firefighter or a cop or a first responder of any kind that did, or you know what, somebody who works at a grocery store or somebody who works at your local Starbucks and is still having to work every day To give you guys stuff or to take care of you, don't high-five them because that's not proper social distancing.
But you know what you do? Give them the thumbs up.
Maybe even go for an elbow bump. Yeah, that's a little too close, though.
Maybe just... Just thumbs up from a distance.
Or just say thanks. And then just go thanks because.
There's a lot of people that are still out there having to do shit for us.
And it's really cool that I can still buy groceries.
It's awesome. So, you know what? If you work at a grocery store, thanks for doing that.
Yeah. I appreciate it. You guys didn't know you were going to become first responders.
And you really did, but you are. I didn't plan on saying this originally, but I feel like It's my fault because I said that I wanted to skip over summer and go right to fall.
And then I feel like I was like, now I'm like, I don't mean it.
I didn't mean it. But I also said that. So you know what?
Here we are. And now Corona is like, no takesies, backsies.
No takesies, backsies. So yeah, just everybody be cool.
It's all going to blow over if we all just listen and we, you know, do what we need to do.
We do the social distancing, all that. But, you know, just say thanks to a first responder of any kind. if you see them because they're really awesome.
You know what wasn't really awesome? What?
What we came home to today. Yeah. So let's start the episode.
Look at that. We're like five minutes in.
We're good. That's not even a lot of banter.
So. This goes along with the episode, guys, so don't worry.
We came home from grabbing a prescription, so we were not just running willy-nilly all over town. just in case you were like, what do you do in quarantine?
We were grabbing a prescription. We come home and all of a sudden we hear this weird noise and no one else is in the house for once.
And the one time the one time it happened.
And I can hear one of my kids. They have this little like frozen. flashlight that has buttons on it and the buttons make different noises.
This button was just going off. And it's like, if you've seen Frozen, it's the water knock.
Yeah. So it sounds like a fucking horse treading toward you.
Through water, nonetheless. So it's... So we keep hearing this.
We look at it and we're like, that's weird.
That's literally never gone off. And it's not like a button that you press down.
It's like one of those like push buttons.
That's like a picture. Just kept going off.
I picked up the thing and it stopped. So I was like, cool.
So I put it back down. Nothing happened.
Picked it up again and it started again.
So we were like, alright, we're just going to leave that alone.
So then we're sitting down. We're watching something.
We're getting our research together. And all of a sudden we hear a gigantic crash from upstairs.
And as the fucking crash happens, what else starts up?
That freaking water knock. Literally at the exact same moment that the crash happened, the water knock noise started going off in the kitchen across the house.
And it's just Elena and I sitting there.
And don't even say that we were already scared.
No, because it literally happened. Because we hadn't even started researching yet.
So it wasn't already like feeling spooky.
It was like we just were sitting there and all these noises started happening and something crashed upstairs.
So I go up there with Ash behind me. I'm holding a curtain rod.
Of course, I had to be in the back. I opened the door at the foot of the stairs to the outside just in case we had to tear haul ass out of the house.
Which I, at first I was like, why the fuck did she just open the door?
And then I was like, smartest thing ever.
I watch a lot of horror movies. So, you know, get a lot of tips, get a lot of tips.
So we go upstairs with the curtain rod in our hands And we search around.
Turns out it was this big giant picture that just went crashing to the ground that was hung up in my child's room.
Really fucking weird experience and really spooky time.
Yeah, and especially considering what we are about to talk about right now.
So what we're going to talk about is, like we said, spooky ass, terrifying, nightmarish, demon summoning or spirit summoning games.
That will ruin your actual life. They will ruin your whole ass life.
So don't do it. This is a legit warning.
We're telling you guys right now. this we're gonna tell you all about them we are not telling you them so that you can go do them so do not do them if you do that's on you man but like don't Do it.
A couple of mine are also like really dangerous, I feel like.
Mine are pretty dangerous. In my notes, I was like, don't do that.
Yeah, just don't do it. It's just nothing good is going to come of it. nothing never okay you're not gonna get granted any wishes or any shit you're just gonna either invite a demon or yeah there's like there's a few that's usually the end result is like you get a wish i don't need anything that badly so i'm gonna start and the first game that i'm going to talk about is called one man hide and seek See, you told me you were going to talk about this and I knew, but I'm still really scared.
Yeah, it doesn't sound awesome and that's because it's not.
Oh. So this is, I believe this hails from Japan.
Okay. It's also called Hitori Kakurenbo.
I'm sure I slayed that Japanese pronunciation.
Don't it. I'm sure I did great. Just blew everybody's car speakers.
I apologize, but you know, I try. So basically, this is dealing with necromancy.
Oh. That's kind of the whole idea. So the whole idea is to bring about a spirit or a diamond unintentionally. unintentionally or intentionally um unintentionally but if you play one of these games it's like You're kind of playing with fire.
So this spirit or daemon... Will is going to come to get all up in your doll or stuffed animal that you're going to use to play this game.
And they're going to play hide and seek with you.
I think you should play Scrabble instead.
Yeah. You know, like you can find someone to play hide and seek.
I promise. Yeah. I don't even want to play hide and seek.
What the fuck are you doing out here? Well, it's like, you don't need a spirit to do it with you.
You really don't. Some people are lonely, I suppose.
But, you know, like, play something else.
Play Best Fiends. There's the internet. Go on the internet.
You'll find someone to tell you you're an asshole or tell you something great about yourself.
There you go. The internet is full of that.
Tell me what happened. Sorry, I'm interrupting.
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This is again, a way to play hide and seek with ghosts.
Why? Now the rules are, that you need, the things you need are, I wrote a stuffy, and I wrote that because that's what my kids call stuffed animals.
So you need a stuffy. Or a doll. This thing needs to have arms and legs.
Oh, no. I don't like that it needs arms and legs.
And it needs arms and legs because... It needs to come find your ass.
Fuck that. I'm already fucked up. So it needs to be able to walk or it needs to be able to crawl to find you.
Don't say it's crawling yeah i want i want everyone to picture a baby doll crawling across the floor get out of my face with that sounds awful Sure does.
You also need some rice because you may get hungry.
Ha ha. That's not the reason you need the rice.
You also need fingernail clippings or hair cuttings or a little bit of your blood.
Okay. Just some, some really special part of you.
Just some casual items. Wait, what's the rice for?
Are you going to tell me? I'm going to tell you.
Don't worry. I'm just giving, I'm telling you what you need and then I'm going to tell you what you do with these things.
Oh, okay. So you need some special part of you.
Some discarded part of you. My fucking eyelashes that are falling out via quarantine.
Yeah, that would work. My fake eyelashes. actually those wouldn't work because they're not you yours so okay yeah you need your actual hair like something that grows from you okay Then you need something sharp, like a knife, a ceremonial dagger, if you will.
I have like five. A sword. like a machete a scalpel a piece of glass shard my hair scissors a mechanical pencil You need anything that could stab something.
You need it. Okay. All right. So, and choose wisely.
Why do you want to choose wisely? Oh, scissors is another thing.
I said my scissors. Oh, you did. Okay. See how much I pay attention.
I was like, oh, yeah. Scissors are one. Uh, cold medicine.
So, uh, I mean, you just had like a Ricola.
Uh, no, I had a Sudafed. oh so this will be fun guys um i don't have corona by the way i just have a i just have a cold so you think i would quarantine with this bitch if she had yeah don't worry e-cola e-cola fuck This is going to be an adventure, guys.
I didn't even take a Sudafed. It's been a while.
So you need something sharp, all right? And you want to pick this thing wisely.
Why do you want to pick this wisely? Because you're going to have to use it?
Well, that. Or if you lose... then the spirit that's in your dollar stuffy gets to stab your ass with whatever it is.
So choose wisely. So choose a mechanical pencil.
I would choose like... some piece of foam or something but you can't because you need it to cut something open so it's got to be something sharp sorry a sharpie so you know just choose wisely you also need a sewing needle you need a long piece of red thread you need a cup of salt water okay and you need to draw a bath because shit's scary and you know now let me ruin this for you what if i don't have a fucking bathtub You can't play then.
You need the bath. Huge bummer. Yeah, you need a bath.
Sign me out. So the bath is not for you.
I know you thought it might be just for you to like listen to some Enya and Lights of Kids. and like get away from this whole situation you know me all too well that's the first one that came to my mind But no.
You know what you should do instead? Sail away.
Sail away. Sail away. You definitely should.
So you need a bath. So you draw that bath.
You're going to draw the bath, fill it up.
Curr, curr. Curr, curr. So then you're going to name your stuffy.
Name that stuffed animal or name that doll.
Well, you probably already have, I feel.
Name it. Okay. we'll do don't name it your name okay you hear that ash do not name it ash why the fuck would i name anything else on this world yeah don't name it ash So get creative.
No name, no game. Remember that. You don't get to play if you don't name it. you know for example i'm going to when i'm using this as an example throughout i will name mine noodles okay i thought you were gonna say david bowie No, no, because I don't want David Bowie to be mixed up in this.
I don't want noodles to be mixed up in this.
I love being a good pop. noodles is here for it so our his name is noodles and he's here to play so you go into the bathroom nope You cut open your little temporarily inanimate object.
And you put the rice in. Yeah. Yeah. And so you're going to take all the stuffing out, all the filling, whatever the hell's in there, and you're going to replace it with the rice and... with the hair or the fingernails or a little drip of blood or my fake eyelash your little no not your fake eyelash it doesn't work ash okay it needs to grow Okay.
Asshole. So you need to do that. Then you sew him back up with the red thread.
Okay. And you wrap the remaining thread around it.
Like a creepy little ham. This game is like assuming a lot of me.
It is. That I know how to sew, that I have a bathtub, that I want to play.
All the things. And, you know, maybe you do.
I don't know. So you're going to run that bath.
Run that bath. Or just run out of your house.
Run the bath. then you're going to put the doll on the bathroom counter, okay?
What if there's no fucking counter? There needs to be some kind of surface in your bathroom to put it.
If you don't have these things, you can't play the game.
Well, get rid of all these things then. Then you're going to go find your hiding place because you really got to stake out your hiding place before you do this.
Now, you're going to sit down in your hiding place and you're going to put the salt water, the cup of salt water in the hiding place. okay and then you're gonna wait until 3 a.m why you dumb ass which is like nope nope nope nope nope nope nope You don't want to do anything at 3 a.m. except for go to sleep.
Yeah, just go to sleep and hope nothing else is sleeping near you.
Oh, fuck you. So now you're going to come out of your hiding place and you're going to shout at your new pal your name.
Is it? And you're going to say that three times.
Your own personal name. I'm not going to say my name because I don't want to be anywhere near in this.
But, like, sorry to anybody whose name this is.
Jen is it. Jen is it. Jen is it. Oh, you have to say it three times.
Yeah. Now, this is so and then there's another way to say because, you know, there's always different variations of this.
So, or you're going to say for the first game and then you're going to say, Jen is it, Jen is it, Jen is it.
Oh, like you're going to play twice. Yeah.
So, yeah. Yeah. Because you're like, ooh, we're going to do this so many times.
It's going to be so fun. So then you're not going to hide.
You're going to come out of hiding. You're going to go to the bathroom where your doll is.
You're going to find noodles. You're going to dunk noodles into the bathroom.
Okay, so that's why they're mad, because that's fucking rude.
You're just going to dunk noodles right in there.
And then you're going to turn off all the lights.
No, you're not. You're going to do it. No.
You're going to do it. No. Don't worry though because then you're going to turn your TV on to static.
Never in my life have I turned my motherfucking television onto static.
Like don't worry. It's not that spooky.
Then we're going to turn on. You know that I think I asked John what his greatest fear was and he said the fuzzy channel on TV.
Because it's scary. I think he said volcanoes and the fuzzy channel on TV.
I'm pretty sure those are the two things that John said.
I said, like, what is your greatest nightmare?
Fuzzy channel on TV is one of them. Because why is it so fuzzy?
So yeah. Why is it so fuzzy? I don't know.
I don't understand. So then you're going to close your eyes.
No, I'm not. And you're going to count to 10.
Okay. Because it's hide and seek. So then, you're going to open those eyes.
No, I'm not. You're going to go back to the bathroom.
Get out of the bathroom. You're gonna grab that sharp thing that you chose before.
Oh, you left that in the bathroom. You left that in the bathroom.
You're gonna grab that thing. Assuming it's still there.
You're gonna stab Noodle. And you're going to stab him while saying three times, I found blah, I found blah, I found blah, while you stab him.
And you're saying your own name? No, you're saying like I found.
The pet. I just don't want to make this too.
No, I don't want you to. But yeah, you're going to be stabbing them while saying I found their name.
Their name. Okay. Yeah. So then you're going to leave that sharp object in there.
You're going to leave noodles on the counter all stabbed and whatnot.
Uh-huh. And then you're gonna go hide. Yeah, you better, because you've been a bitch.
And when you hide, and you go hide... Fast, honey.
Like, you need to run out of there. And while you're running out of there, you have to yell, now noodles is it. oh yeah and this is when goes awry it's very real here's here's the thing though it's not fair that you know where their hiding place is Well, yeah.
You have an unfair advantage, and that's why they're mad.
It definitely is an unfair advantage, and I think noodles are going to get you for it.
I think they're not gonna let you off the hook with that one.
Because I think you're stupid if you're playing this.
Yeah, I agree with that. Now, just a little side note, the red thread is supposed to be, I found in a couple of places, that it's supposed to be like blood cells or blood cells.
I was like, what? It's supposed to be like blood vessels.
And when you stab them, you're severing the blood vessels.
So it's supposed to be all like symbolism.
Okay. Yeah. So while you're waiting, you're going to hide.
You're going to stay as quiet as you fucking can.
Uh-huh. Because the whole point of this game is it's different from a game that you're going to talk about in this game.
You don't move. You stay in your hiding place.
And you're going to stay in that hiding place.
You're going to hope you found a good hiding place.
And while you're in that hiding place, you're gonna hear like the TV turn off.
You're gonna hear it turn back on. It's gonna change volumes, change channels.
Oh, changing volumes. I'm not about it's going to display images sounds like all kinds of shit's gonna go on people hear footsteps Things moving around are being broken.
They hear mumbling, humming. Nope. They smell things.
Just a whole array of nightmares. But you must stay hidden for as long as possible.
You're supposed to either stay until the sunrise or until... you're basically just shitting your pants and want to end the game.
But if you're shitting your pants and want to end the game, that's probably not a good time to end.
It's pretty risky. But in your hiding place, I would assume that you wouldn't be able to know when the sun is rising.
No, and that's kind of your gamble that you're taking here.
So basically you hide it out for as long as you can and then you're going to leave your hiding place.
Now I have a question. What is your question?
Is this something that you have to play alone?
Because in a few of mine... It sure is.
It's like, you can play with someone else.
No, basically... Then if someone's like, no, you can't.
All of mine are pretty much playbys. Alone.
The thing with mine are, you don't want the thing to find the other person.
You want them to find you. Because if they find somebody else, it could be real bad.
Okay. So you want to do all this alone. Then you're going to take at least half of the salt water into your mouth.
Don't swallow it. And in my notes, I almost wrote something dirty, but I didn't.
What were you going to say? I don't... Spitters or quitters?
This is a G-rated show, Ash. Is that what you were going to say?
You were going to say spitters or quitters.
I plead the fifth. So you take half the salt water into your mouth.
You hold it in there. You bring the other half with you.
And then you go look for noodles. Oh, wait, when the sun rises?
Yeah, or when you've just had enough. Okay.
And when you want to end it. Now, hopefully, noodles is still in the bathroom.
Doubt it. But maybe he's not. Okay, side note.
I had to pause the recording really quick because, like I said, I have a cold.
I had to pause to cough so I wouldn't cough into your ears and Ash was trying to tell me how to make this tickle in my throat go away.
She cocked her head to the side. And made a straight up demonic possession of Emily Rose kind of fucking noise.
Stop. i'm not kidding you i must have gone ashen gray i looked at her and i was like i gotta leave like i thought i was like we've done it we've talked about this game too much too too far and we can't escape now i thought i was gonna have to just leave i thought I was going to have to leave my own noodles in this room right here.
I'm not your noodles. I'm your sis. I'm not kidding you.
I wish we were recording. I'm sorry. I don't want to do it again because now I'm too afraid to.
You can. I can. That was a one-time demonic possession that just happened.
No, I was not possessed. Guys. I told you not.
That was that was inhuman. What you just said.
I mean, I am. I'm very upset about it. It's just a trash.
That's all. So you're going to go back to that bathroom.
I'm not. And you're hoping that you see Noodles in that bathroom where you left him.
Because that's where you want him. But he might not be in there. he might just be roaming around your house because you just called his ass out.
I don't like it. Now once you've found noodles, wherever he will be. you're not going to be like cool noodles nice playing with you let's just part ways that's not what you do no you're gonna spit all over him like an asshole This game, it just makes you sound like you have a lot of aggression that you need to work out elsewhere.
Spit all over them, all the salt water, and pour the rest onto them.
Oh, the water. And then you're going to say, I win, I win, I win three times. so basically you're just being a dick yeah you're just being a dick and that's supposed to be the end of the game it's not but Now, this is the end of the game, except now you have to burn noodles.
And if there's anything left of them, you got to cover it in salt.
Okay. Yeah. You just got to make sure. Just do it.
Some people say they still felt a presence even after the game.
Of course. they said that they felt sick or got sick they've got bad luck like shit did not turn out well because don't do that now here's some don'ts to do for this game don't have a cell phone with you okay apparently ancient spirits do not take kindly to cell phones don't have them on You can't have any other people in the house because, again, they might be found, which is not good.
You're going to stay silent. You don't want to make any noise.
You don't want to be anywhere that you can't get out very quickly or be cornered or Be in any kind.
It's just know your exit. This whole time I'm like picturing somebody like hiding in a closet.
That's exactly what I'm picturing. Because I'm dumb.
Just in a closet. Like that's not a good hiding place.
I mean, maybe. I'm not really sure what is a good hiding place to be honest.
Are you looking up there because you hear the same noise as me?
Yeah, it's a ladybug. Okay. So you're also going to use salt like in Hocus Pocus.
You also don't want to play this game. Yeah, that's the number one rule.
You don't want to do that. The don'ts of the game are all of those things.
And number one is don't play. And if you're like if this tickled your fancy and you just like don't play the game.
Seek guidance. But you know what? Go on YouTube, type this in, and there's a bunch of people that did play this game and did stream it.
And they're fucking crazy. Did you watch?
So go watch. I have not watched them yet.
I don't like to watch those YouTube ones just in case.
I'm just a little scared. I'm probably going to watch them.
But like, guys, go watch them if you want to get like spooky, but don't want to actually have a demon in your house.
But like, what if by virtual? Nah, don't worry about that.
Just go watch the videos. You're a horrible person.
Okay, my turn. Just don't do the game. Yeah.
So mine is called The Midnight Game. Ooh.
So some people, you know how like every... everything needs um where where is it when it comes from something an origin story yeah thank you i'm broken i just broke right there Every game needs an origin story.
When it comes from somewhere. You get me.
Everyone's like, Ash is the dumbest thing ever.
Okay, anyways, so games need an origin. They certainly do.
This one was apparently an old pagan ritual to punish those who disobeyed the gods.
Ooh. Love that. Like, you don't want to punish yourself.
Don't play. Yeah, don't punish yourself.
Unless you hate yourself. Yeah, that's fine.
So if you are going to play like an idiot.
But don't do it. You need a candle. You always need a candle.
A fire source. So like matches or a lighter.
Okay. You need a piece of paper. A piece of paper.
A writing utensil. Well, you can't have a paper without a pencil.
Duh. A pin that you can, like a stabby pin.
A stabby pin. Yep. A closed wooden door.
Okay. I don't really understand why it has to be wooden, but I feel like most doors are wooden, too.
Yeah. I mean, steel door. And guess what?
You need some salt. Oh, you always need salt.
Salty salt. Hocus Pocus taught us that. Yep.
So you're supposed to start before midnight.
And what you do is you write your whole last name on that piece of paper.
Your whole ass. Not just your first name, not your nickname.
Nicknames don't apply. I couldn't write Ash.
I wouldn't fucking do this, but I couldn't.
You got to write first, middle, last. Okay.
And then you're going to stab your finger.
I thought you were going to say stab your face for a second.
I was like, whoa. No, you're not going to do that.
Either way. Maybe afterwards. Yeah. So you poke your finger and then you rub all that bloody blood up on that piece of paper.
Then you're going to turn all your lights off.
No thanks. Then you're going to put your bloody name paper in front of the door.
Okay. And then you're going to knock on the door 22 times, which is rude.
And it reminds me of something that I'm not going to say.
That's a lot. Yeah. Too many, one might say.
Yeah, exactly. Did I say you're supposed to start before midnight?
Yes, you did. Okay, cool. So you're going to start knocking on that door just before midnight.
And then... The last knock has to happen exactly at the stroke of midnight.
This is already I'm like, this is too complicated for me.
Anything that has to happen at midnight except like the end of a ball.
I'm not interested in the end of a ball unless it has to do with Cinderella.
Get the fuck out of my face. then you know what your dumb ass is gonna do after you knock on the door for the 22nd time You're gonna open the fucking door.
Oh, no. No. I'm not. No, I'm not gonna. You're gonna...
Blow out your candle. Oh, hell no. You're going to tell that ladybug to chill the fuck out because you're scaring me.
Ladybug is okay. I like you. Also, go outside.
You're gonna die in here. I know. You're gonna open the door.
You're gonna blow out your candle. Then you're gonna close the door. and then you're going to relight your candle ASAP Rocky.
Hell yeah, except I'm going to keel over and die first, so I won't be able to relight my candle.
And then you're going to start moving around your house.
Oh, this is the part that freaks me out.
Here's the issue. I feel like you'd want to move quickly.
I don't want to get the fuck out of the house.
Run out of your house. That's actually against the rules.
We'll talk about the rules later. Oh, fuck.
But if your candle goes out, you only have 10 seconds to relight it.
No, I'm not good with that kind of pressure.
I'm usually good under pressure, but not in that kind of pressure.
That's a whole different kind of pressure.
That's a pressure, another worldly pressure, if you will.
You're under pressure. Too much pressure.
If you don't relight your candle within 10 seconds, you should immediately... make a salt circle around yourself.
Oh fuck. If you hear my shuffling of paper, I'm sorry, but we hand write our notes now for Patreon.
Yeah. So go donate and you can read my handwritten scribbly ass notes.
So you do the salt and you don't fucking move from your salt circle.
You sit there like a still ass bitch. And then at 3.33 a.m., which... 3.33 a.m.
3-3-3. 3-3-3 is my good luck time. Like anytime I see 3-3-3 on the clock, I'm like, good luck.
But usually I'm not awake at 3-3-3 AM, so I don't see that.
It's not good luck. Well, three, three, three is midnight man time.
Well, no, it's not. Three through three a.m. is when it ends.
Just kidding. Yeah. Because actually three through three means an angel is with you.
Oh. I love that. Cute. Okay. Anyway, back to the spooky shit.
So 333 is when the game is over and you can start moving around your house. or stop moving around your house, sorry, or you can step out of your salt circle and you can turn all the lights back on.
Okay. so what's the point of this whole thing what's the point the object isn't is to invite the midnight man who i'm gonna call mm from now on because i don't want to keep saying yeah i don't want deal with that shit into your home the goal is to avoid meeting him that's that's my goal my forever goal And I'm like, but what if he doesn't leave anyways?
Because who's to say? Sometimes people stay a lot longer than you intend for them to. it's true you ever invited somebody into your house one of them at six they never do and they just keep talking and you're like well you know this is nice but i'd like to go i'd like to have my silk and go to sleep Exactly, because you're 85.
But so you keep moving around the house because you're trying to avoid him the whole time.
That's terrifying. But how are you going to know if he's like all up in the room with you?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's going to be cold as shit. of course it is cold it's pretty cold a soft whisper might come from nowhere no uh you'll see a figure in the darkness oh nope Or your candle will go out.
Which is scary and that adds a lot more pressure to lighting it again in 10 seconds.
Yeah. No. So what is he going to do if he finds you?
He's just going to go. tag you're it i think that in and of itself would be absolutely fucking terrifying so maybe we should add that to the list but no in my notes i wrote kill you prob Probably.
Also, maybe take your organs out one by one because that's what he said to do.
That's what he does. Take your organs out one by one. whilst making you hallucinate your worst fear until 333 a.m.
What if my worst fear is having my organs taken out one by one by M.M.?
? He'll go for your second worst fear. That's not your worst fear.
Inception. These are your can'ts. You can't have the lights on.
Okay. You can't sleep. Why the fuck would you do that anyways?
Like, you know what? I'm just going to sleep until you leave.
You know what? Yeah, you're an idiot. Good luck falling asleep. uh you can't use just a lighter for like your source of light you have to use the candle um You gotta use your own blood.
You gotta. I don't know why you would have anybody else's blood.
You can't go cut your friend and use that blood.
You just can't. You can't do it. And you can't leave your house.
And while you're like searching or avoiding MM, you should not by any means provoke him.
Oh, I won't. Don't worry. No, because I won't play this game.
You can, by the way, play with a friend.
Now, if you are going to play this game, you're stupid.
And also... You and your friend have to both make your own paper with your own blood.
There has to be a sheet for every person.
Everybody gets their own blood. And by the way, at the end of the game, he just might not leave, like I said.
Yeah, that's the thing with these things, man.
They always have this final thing where you're like, oh, okay, you can leave now.
And everybody's like, yeah, and then they just leave.
Like, you think they play? play by the rules you think they follow that if you were a diamond or a spirit would you just leave you're out here having scary ass fun please leave you'd be like fuck no i can do what i want exactly yeah If you're a diamond, you can do what you want.
Yeah. Oh, I'm getting so scared. I know.
I'm getting spooked, man. Okay, so the experiences.
A lot of people hear whispers. Mm-hmm. A lot of people, like, after the game is over at 3-3-3 a.m.
It's really just fun to say 3-3-3 at this point.
You, like, go check out your house. Like, because...
I read one experience where this guy was like, I saw him on my bed, I saw him here, and I kept running, which is so scary.
No, I hate that. And then they went back and looked in all the places that were like... they quickly saw him before running the fuck out of there or like slowly walking so their candle didn't go out and all the areas are like super messed up like your house is like a mess And you know what?
I didn't even think of that, that you can't even run-run because your candle will go out.
That's what I said that. That's what I mean.
Like, I didn't even think about that. Yeah.
At first. Like, I was like, yeah, you just tear around that house like a fucking Olympic runner.
But you won. But you can't. You have to shuffle like an old lady playing shuffleboard on a cruise.
And you got to hope he's not running after you.
It's not just old ladies that play shuffleboard.
I used to play shuffleboard at Lake George.
Moving on. I said on a cruise. Not at Lake George.
Well, you also might have nightmares for a really long time after you summon them.
Yeah, no shit. Because, duh. Because I'm going to have nightmares just talking about them.
And you hear... a lot of crashes during the game because... Because he's clumsy?
No, don't be doing that. Because it's not an insult.
I'm clumsy. Me too. But no, he's trying to find you and he's just going to move anything out of his way.
That's terrifying. So my takeaways from this are number one, no fucking thank you.
No, no, no. Number two, don't play scary games that involve fire.
No, definitely not. Don't be playing with matches in the middle of the night.
No. No good. And don't openly invite an unknown entity into your home.
I mean, that's good practice for the rest of your life.
And also, no thank you. Nope, no thank you.
So, uh, let's move on to another game that you shouldn't play.
I only know, I only knew the first one that you did.
And I find solace in the fact that I knew the first one.
And now I feel like I'm going into the unknown.
You are. So come with me, Elsa. So this one's called Dry Bones.
What? And this one's for Summoning Diamonds. aren't they all uh so well the other one i did was supposed to be you're supposed to want like a spirit to play hide and seek with you not a diamond oh okay but this one's like specifically You're looking for a diamond.
Okay, I don't know why you're looking for any of the above.
Well, the reason you would play this is you supposedly get the prize of anything you want if you win.
Anything within like they're like be and everything I read was like be realistic.
Oh, yeah, because you're a fucking reasonable person out here.
Yeah, don't ask too much of the daemon. Okay.
So if you lose, you probably, like, get shat on by that daemon.
Or possessed. Something bad happens. Haunted.
Killed. So you have to play this alone. oh you can't play with a friend you need a bathroom we all have them you need a bathroom mirror okay Or a hand mirror.
It just has to be in the bathroom. Any gaming involving a mirror, I'm just not interested in.
Yeah, we're not interested, but... You need matches and you need like a watch or a clock or like a sundial, something to tell you the time.
No cell phones, I'm assuming. No cell phones.
Technology is very unwanted in these games.
No, no, no. It's unknown. Yeah. So one thing I saw. was like, hey, make sure you tell people not to come home until sunrise.
Like... oh okay i'll just let like i like i'm a teenager sleeping in my parents house and i'm like hey guys Don't come until sunrise because, like, I'm summoning a demon tonight and we want to make sure that he's gone.
My parents... Well, that's a different story, but most parents would be like, no, don't do that.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my mom and dad would be like, please don't do that.
Mom would be like, we have enough. going on in the house already please don't because we already have a haunted house please don't invite anything else um so you're gonna turn on you're gonna turn off all the lights because you always do awesome You have to do this at 12.01 a.m.
Oh. Yeah. And you're going to go into the bathroom.
And you're going to pee and then you're going to go to sleep.
Of course. No, you're going to look in the mirror.
You're going to check out, check out your face.
You're going to see what's going on. You're going to be like, you cute, you cute.
And then you're going to visualize the thing that you want.
You're going to think about it really hard.
Okay. You're going to be like, yes, I want. know what i would want badly enough some really soft fabric softener You're going to think of something like really.
What are we in the laundry room or something?
Really attainable. I thought you were going to say a really soft puppy.
I mean, sure. I don't want a Damon puppy.
I'm good with that. You want Damon. Hell yeah, I do.
But I don't want Damon puppies. Okay. So then you're going to light your match.
Okay. Now, at this point, if you... And I love it.
I read these things that are like, if you hear noises... or you, like, you just feel things around you, put everything down and run the fuck out of your house and don't come back until the next morning.
I would already feel that way. Okay. So they were literally like, if you hear voices. leave and i was like oh no don't worry you don't need to add that into the rules of the game like i would already hear voices it's like please leave it's like no i got that all right Yep, knew that one on my own.
Wasn't planning on staying if I had company.
You didn't need to add that to the FAQs.
So you're going to light your match. Now, you're going to let your match light, and then you're going to wait for it to burn out. while you're visualizing what while you're visualizing in front of the mirror if it burns out before the 15 seconds run the fuck out of your house and get the fuck out of there And don't come back until 6 a.m. the next morning.
Okay. If it burns out after 15 seconds, you're in luck.
You get to play. I don't want to. Now, one thing says you're going to look into the mirror until you feel a presence, right?
The second I knew I was playing this and looked into the mirror, I would feel a presence.
Yes, exactly. And once you feel that presence, you're going to say, I acknowledge. that you're here.
I, you know, and you're going to say something about you can stay in my house.
I'm not going to say the exact same. This is hypothetical.
And you're going to say, you know, you're going to play a game with me till 3 a.m. and then you're going to, you know, come now.
So it's not in that exact thing. You can go look for it if you want to.
Mama's not saying it in my 1860s house. I feel like you already said too much.
So the other way that they said is you lie down on the floor and say that.
Okay. Which seems very, like, vulnerable.
I don't like that one. Yeah, I never lay down.
So you're going to exit the bathroom once you've said this. once you've literally invited a demon into your house and then you're gonna fucking run You're going to run and go hide.
No, you're going to be in the house. You're going to go and hide.
Or you're going to go find the biggest open room in your house and you're going to wait until you hear moaning.
And then it's Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter and everything is fine.
And then you're like, cool, cool. All right.
No, you're going to hear moaning. And then once you hear moaning, that's when the game starts because now he's here.
Now you go hide. So then you're going to hide until 3 a.m.
Duh. Of course. You're just going to hide for straight up three hours.
Three hours. This is another game unlike like Midnight Game and all that that you are going to stay in your spot.
So you need to find a primo. You need to find the spot.
You need to find the spot to put all other spots to shame, honey. you need to find that spot you need to just plant your ass in that spot i am so scared yeah So so basically this thing is going to try to find you.
Yeah. It's going to try and catch you. So you got to be fast going to your hiding spot and you don't want to be loud because he can hear you.
So you want to be real quiet because he'll find you.
But you're running. Now at 3 a.m., you're going to look at your clock or your watch or sundial, and it's 3 a.m.
You alive, son? Are you alive at 3am? I hope so.
I died from heart failure. Because if you are alive, then congratulations.
Hello. And you're going to go back to the biggest room in your house where you started this whole mess.
You're going to close yourself in there and you're going to say, thank you for playing.
But you must leave now. You are no longer welcome.
Now, before this thing dips, it's going to groan at you.
Now, what's the difference between a moan and a groan?
So this is how I see it. I think that... Don't scare me, fool.
I think moaning is more like that moaning myrtle.
And groaning is more like growling. But I think of groaning as like... you scared the ladybug did you just see that the ladybug just like flipped the fuck out sorry lady We have a ladybug here, guys.
We have two, actually. We do, and they're hanging out.
They're into this. It's Jekyll and Hyde.
So he's going to, like, ugh at you. that's what's gonna happen okay so he's gonna groan at you sure and that's when you know that he's gonna dip he's gonna be gone So whatever abomination you just summoned forth is going to have to groan at your ass before this whole thing is officially over.
If he doesn't groan... You have to keep saying that phrase until you hear him groan.
Okay. Or else he's not leaving. If he doesn't groan at you, then you're probably going to hear him groan later because he's going to be hanging out in your house.
Okay. And people say that when they hear him leave...
They will go out of this room like once they hear the groan and they know he's left.
They leave their big room where they started this whole thing and their house will be like ransacked.
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. And that's the end of the game.
And if you win, you supposedly get the thing that you wished for.
But did you really want it that badly? Well, and a lot of people say like, that's all well and fine that you wished for something like cool.
And like, yeah, they'll give it to you if you win.
But that might not be all they take from you is just playing that game. like that right like what other price are you gonna so a lot of people have been like yeah and then my life fell apart around me right so that's really just that's dry bones you don't need anything that badly yeah you don't need it so that's dry bones don't play that Well, my next one actually has to do with a wish as well.
Love wishes. Hate diamonds. It's called The 11 Mile Game. one player game no other fucking players invited all right just you and your car just you and your car in happen i'm just kidding i suck i hate myself totally kidding wow okay so this is what you gotta do you have to find a road at night and it has to be in the woods or off the regular route i'm already out off the beaten path if you will i i'm out i have to tell you what road i pictured after this okay um And you need a back road.
Okay. Okay. So you're supposed to drive around this area, like this whole little messy area. until you find that your mind is telling you you found the 11 mile road oh shit okay so it's more like a like a wooded area okay And then your mind is going to say, go down this road.
That's the 11 mile road. All right. And you're just supposed to know.
You're supposed to feel it in your bones.
All right, you're feeling your dry bones.
I was just going to say perhaps your dry bones.
OK, so you've got to start driving. But here's the can'ts.
You cannot for any fucking reason stop driving.
Okay, I won't. Don't worry. Oh, me either.
Yeah. You can't have the radio on, so I'm out.
All right. uh you can't open you can't listen to pods you can't listen to pods you can't open the doors or windows which why the fuck don't worry so far this is easy you can't use your phone not interested don't text and drive anyways yeah Um, you, you can't use your phone or anything like that.
So no iPads, no laptops, no tablets, no Kindles, none of the above.
Alright. And you can't go... over 30 miles per hour because of safety laws.
Oh, I don't love that. I'm just kidding.
30 miles an hour is real slow. Yeah. There's a road near here that's 30 miles an hour and it like shouldn't be.
And I always try to see if I can drive comfortably 30 miles an hour down it.
And I'm like, whoa, I'm crawling. Whoa. Okay, so according to Wattpad.com or Wattpad, I don't know how to say words.
I think it's Wattpad. Thanks. this is these are the miles this is what's going to happen through the miles okay so mile one not a lot is going to happen you might get like cold you can turn your heat on that's allowed yeah Mile two.
Same deal. Okay. Mile three. There might be some movement outside of the car around you.
Keep your eyes on the road. Just keep going.
I'm going to do that. Mile four. You know, it's super chill.
Just some voices start chitter-chattering.
Just keep going. Happens. Mile five, you might see trees around you start to fade out and you might notice the moon or see a lake.
It's going to be really pretty, but don't stop.
But like it's weird when that just happens.
Mile six, the trees are back. Oh, they're back.
Okay. You're going to see the stars and your headlights might start to flicker.
All right. So far. That's fucked up. If my headlights ever started to flicker, I'd shit my actual pants.
Yeah, I'd be a little concerned about that.
Apparently, you should ignore what the radio tells you to do, but don't try to turn it off.
Oh, just ignore that radio, what it's saying to you.
Ignore the radio that was already off, sis.
Okay, cool. Because now it's on and you can't turn it off.
Don't love it. Ladybug landed on my hand.
Oh, Ladybug. I love you. You kissed my hand.
Okay, so mile seven. More voices, but this time they're in your backseat.
Oh, fuck. No, no, no. Don't turn around.
Keep driving. I know. I feel like your instinct would be to turn to turn.
Oh, hell yeah. Because I'd want to know what the fuck was behind me. isn't my vaccine.
Whom star you? I did not invite you. Mile eight, no stopping. okay it's already a fucking yeah it's just just no mile nine awesome best mile yet because your vehicle might stall oh If that happens, close your eyes until it starts again.
And when it does, you better book it, bitch.
Oh, I will. Don't worry. Mile 10, don't look in the mirrors for any reason.
There's going to be things outside your car.
There's going to be people. okay they're apparently the people that this 11 mile road didn't go so well for oh no their journey ended on the road hate it they didn't follow the rules hate that i'm not gonna lie to you it really like scared the shit out of me when that ladybug landed on me yeah i'm still recovering wicked spooked here And then mile 11, guess what?
Your car is going to stall again in front of a red light.
Do not look at the red light. Well, shit.
Now I'm going to look at the red light. Now prepare to be scared.
I'm already scared. Close your eyes and ears until the vehicle starts again and then...
Just ignore what's grabbing you. Just ignore what's talking to you.
And when the car starts up again, drive a bit ahead to a dead end. a dead end dead ends are always scary there's a dead end near a post office that i go to and guess what it scares me and i only go there in daylight i don't like any of this fuck that Don't like it.
Envision your wish while you're at the dead end.
Oh, okay. While all this is going on, just envision that wish.
And see if what you wished for is now with you.
Because at this point, you're at the end of the journey and you're supposed to get for what you wished.
It said to check your trunk, but I'm confused because I'm not supposed to get out of the car.
So I feel like that's like you trying to trick me.
Yeah, I feel like that too. Into dying. Yeah, I don't want that.
And like I'm going to get out of the car at that point.
If your wish is with you. But is it really worth it?
No. Just like. It's really not. Go buy something that you want.
None of these are worth it. You know what I mean?
This is the secret. Go to Target and just find something that you really like and buy it there.
Exactly. That's a majestic journey. You do not need to take this 11 mile journey at all.
No, where things are touching you and radios are talking to you.
Nobody touches you at Target. Nobody yells at you.
There's no demons as far as I know. I mean, I, yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I've seen a few demons at Target, but probably not the same kind.
Yeah. Okay, your turn. My last game. This one's real scurry.
Did you save the best for last? It's called The Man in the Fields.
Do I have to go to a field for this? No, but you need to have a backyard.
I have one. Like a pretty good size backyard.
So you need a backyard or like a garden or somewhere big behind your house.
A field would be preferable. But as long as you have like a big backyard, you should ideally to play this game, you would live in a kind of like secluded area. area i just hiccuped i'm sorry guys rural rural area like in the woods away from a lot of things which i wouldn't live there So, you need one room that has one door in it, in your house.
One room that only has one door. One exit, one entrance.
Just one door. Okay. Okay. One way in and one way out.
You need a match or a candle or a lantern, some kind of thing that can burn.
You also need some kind of protection object, whatever protection object of your choice, a crucifix, a...
You know, I don't know anything else that you use for protection.
A crystal. Some kind of talisman, some kind of totem that you find.
A good luck charm. Something that is of your spiritual persuasion that makes you feel protected.
Okay. You need a watch, not a cell phone, a watch.
Can you do this by yourself? Can you do this with a friend?
No. Damn it. None of yours you can have a friend.
It needs to be dark out when you begin this, but it needs to be before 12 a.m. when you begin this.
Okay. And I'll explain to you why that's important in a second.
Now, you're going to tell everyone to get out of your house, like I said.
Everybody's going to react very well. Yeah, you're going to be like...
You know, guys, you got to get out. I have a hot date with a man in the fields.
And when they ask you who the fuck is the man in the fields, you can be like, don't worry about it.
And they'll say, okay, sweetums. Just get out and everybody will get out.
So just make everybody leave. You're going to light that candle.
You're going to turn those lights off. Like always.
Can't have any light. Don't do it. Then you're going to go outside and you're going to look up at your place of dwelling and you're going to ask seven times.
But who will scare the crows away? You're going to ask that seven times.
I don't even have a retort. Then you're going to listen.
And if no noise happens, then like cool, cool, cool, no demon.
But you don't get to just go back in your house.
You need to dip and you can't come back until 6 a.m.
Okay. Because if there's no noise, shit still isn't okay.
But the moral of the story is nothing is okay.
Yeah. If there's a voice... Then you first shit your pants.
And then second, this means it worked. Like you have summoned the man in the fields.
And it will say, yeah, and he will say he will whisper to you.
That's not your biggest problem. Shut the fuck up.
I don't know why, but that's fucking terrifying.
That is so fucking scary. I'm telling you.
This whole thing is terrifying. So once you hear that little tidbit, you're going to go inside your house.
My entire body just jolted. Yeah, you're going to go inside the house.
Or if you're me, you're going to say, nope, and you're going to let the demon have your house and you're just never going to come back.
And you're going to buy a new one. Yep, see you later. uh so you're gonna go back in your house but i'm willing to bet he would just follow you probably because he seems like a pretty person like really uh what's that word Persistent motherfucker.
Yeah, persistent. I could not think of the word.
So you're going to go back in your house.
You're going to go to that room that only has one door in it.
Okay. and you're gonna this is very important okay you're gonna close anything in that room that can open anything drawers closets windows little if you have an ipad in there you need to close your apps you need to like it goes that far like it says that you need to close everything close anything that can be literally or figuratively opened close it Very important.
Are you being silly about the app? I'm not.
That's actually it was literally like if you have a phone, close your phone like.
Close it all. And then it says leave your crucifix or your, you know, any the thing that you have for protection.
Leave that in the room. Yeah. Then you leave the room.
Now, everything in your house is going to be open suddenly when you leave that room.
Oh, which scares the shit out of me. It makes me think of Sixth Sense or like Paranormal Activity when all the fucking cabinets open.
That's scary shit. That's going to happen.
Your job before 12 a.m. is to close everything in that house.
Everything. Like I said, everything. So before you start this game, you better go through your house and you better study your fucking house and know every little thing that needs to be closed because if you forget something... shit it's gonna be real bad for you i'm a forgetful bitch so i would not be never So while you're going through your house and it's dark, you don't have any light, you're going to walk through your house.
If you see a man, don't look at him. Obviously.
Just don't look at him. He's going to be an ashen man is what he's called.
What he is, he's not the man in the fields.
He's part of the game. He's just making sure that thing, it's going fairly.
He's just making, he's watching you. He's just making sure that you're closing things. he's like you know the ref of the whole thing and so he's you know he but if you look at him shit goes down so don't look at him you see him in your peripheral just I'm going to have the most fucked up nightmares tonight.
Just move about your life. So what's going to happen is...
You're going to be doing all this. You're going to close all the things.
While you're doing this, you don't look at the ashen man and you don't look in the backyard.
Do not look in the backyard. Okay. Because if you look in the backyard, you're gonna see a huge fucking scarecrow in the backyard.
Massive, like way bigger than any normal scarecrow.
If you see this scarecrow, he sees you. Yeah.
He sees all. This is the dude. This is the dude we speak of.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. When he sees you, you have 60 seconds to run to your room that you have your protective thing in that has one door in it. and if you don't get there in time he eats you or if you have left anything in that house open It will allow him in and he will take your head.
He will take your head. He's going to snatch up your head.
I'm not willing to find out. So don't do it.
Don't leave anything open and don't look in the backyard.
I am sweating. If you don't look in the backyard.
Yeah. Which you shouldn't. Don't do it. Obviously.
And you have and you've closed everything you can close.
You're going to go to bed after you close all the no you're not and you're gonna close your eyes no you're not you're also gonna close your mouth because those are the two things you need to close last Now, what about your ears?
And they tell you to go to sleep in your room that you have your safe thing in.
Because that's supposed to be like your safe space.
And if you have closed everything, he can't get in.
But he's going to yell fucking threats at you.
He's going to tell you he's going to kill you.
He's going to tell you he's going to rip off your head if I get in there.
Like he's going to scare the shit out of you until the sun comes I suggest this awesome game called Yahtzee instead.
You know what? We have a game that's like little kid bingo called Zingo.
And it's way, way more fun than this. I suggest Zingo.
But. So if so, the whole thing you want to start before 12 midnight.
Yeah. The reason for that is you need to shut everything in your house before midnight.
So you want to start with enough time to shut everything before midnight because if you don't shut everything before midnight, you're fucked and he's going to take your head.
So if you start three hours before midnight and you do it all right and everything. then he grants you no illness, no injury, no physical, any bad thing for one year. okay so what about after one fucking year if you well then you're on your own i guess but then if you do this if you finish um two hours before midnight He will give you all like the physical health awesomeness and he will also give you no money issues for the year.
And if it's one hour before, which they were like, no one's done it in one hour, so don't even try.
If you do it one hour before, then you get total and complete safety for the whole year.
Like everything will be perfect in your life.
Okay. No health issues, no money issues, no love issues.
Pure happiness. Perfect. But you don't want to leave yourself just one hour because shit, you can't do it.
It's just not possible. It's not possible.
And you can't do it if you, like, go and do it in, like, an empty house.
Like, people were asking, like, can I do it in an empty house and just... and they were like why would you do that first of all but like no you can't do that because you can't you can't fool you can't fool this motherfucker can't do it So that's the man in the fields game. okay yeah my last one is um somebody that we all know and it's an oldie but a goodie we all know and know we all know and know bloody mary oh girl I'm going to say BM because I'm gonna.
And because it stands for bowel movement and that's funny.
I knew you were going to say that and I wish you hadn't.
So yeah, I'm gonna talk about that. You know, I did this in the second grade.
Yeah, I do. Because I told you that before this, but I did want to say it on the podcast.
I did it like junior high, like normal, you know, well adjusted.
Me and my mom used to live with this older woman.
We like rented a room in her house. And I still remember it.
It was like a full length mirror. And I was sitting on a chair next to the door.
I did it like an idiot and then with all the lights off and then I ran downstairs screaming and I got in so much trouble.
I feel it, man. All the trouble. I feel it. so anyways so what you're supposed to do is there's a lot of different variations but the one that i went with that you're supposed to do is you turn off all the lights and you chant bm You have to say the whole thing.
Into a mirror 13 times. And basically she's going to.
That's 13 times. I thought it was three.
Some people say three and some people say 13.
Either way, it makes sense. Nine-year-old Ash did it 13 because you got to go hard or go home.
So when you summon her, she's going to maybe like scratch your face.
Your whole bathroom is going to fill with blood.
She might drag you into the mirror. all of this sounds awesome she might ruin your life forever yeah there's no winning like nothing good happens so why do we all do it i don't really know So, Alan Dundies, I think is how you say it, according to HowStuffWorks.com. love it says bloody mary is just like an initiation into becoming a woman He says that girls do it at sleepovers and they're like about to hit puberty.
And he's like, it involves blood in the bathroom, which like, you know what that means.
So it's like a coming of age tale. well you know just good old period fun yeah so that's what alan thinks well alan other people think uh it has to do because like where does this legend come from so where does it come from some people say mary tudor who she killed many protestants And her nickname actually was Bloody Mary.
Ah. I think we covered some of that on one of our episodes.
Maybe. I don't remember. Maybe our legend episode.
I don't remember. This gal we did cover.
Some people say it comes from Elizabeth.
Boutry. And I wrote, my girl. Remember her?
Remember her. She was the one that bathed in all the young girl's blood and like really tortured the shit out of people she really did the damn thing some people say it comes from a woman named mary who tricked these slaves during the Underground Railroad times and like tricked them to go the wrong way back into slavery.
And she tortured them and she killed them.
Fuck, I think it's her. Probably. She was lynched on her own property because people knew that she was into like really dark magic.
Yeah, and she was a fucking asshole. In Chicago.
And the people who bought her house experienced all this weird shit.
Like it was this farmer guy and he would be like out in the fields working.
And his wife would like just be like doing her thing at the house.
And she once got locked in the barn. Like until he came back. home like she could not get out of the barn don't love that dishes and shit would break in their house all the time And then apparently the house burned down not once, but twice.
Holy shit. And also the guy that bought the house. thought that um maybe all this bad shit was happening because like he ruined her gravesite somehow like via his farming via his farming but when he went and looked for it he couldn't find her gravesite oh shit So, yeah, everybody knows about Bloody Mary, but I think a lot of times people question where she comes from.
That is, and that's the oldie but the goodie.
Oldie but the goodie. That's the old school game that you got to mention.
So like we said, guys. Don't do these things.
Don't fucking do any of this. We didn't even do this shit.
No. I'm scared just talking about it. And you know what?
We did this because we thought it's spooky just to hear about them.
Yeah. So that's all you need. Don't go doing it.
You don't need any more spooky spooky. And now, if you'll all forgive me, it's time for me to go watch that new show that we found on Netflix.
What's it called? Skin Wars? Skin Wars. skin wars it's really fucking good oh and also um guys we are watching tiger king on that more importantly and we are going to be doing some reaction things on patreon so we will be releasing those soon We just have to finish watching the doc series because I have three children and it's really hard to watch these things.
So we're making it. We're doing it. We agree.
Holy shit. Carol. Carol. Joe. Joe. Everybody else.
Doc. All of them. all of them um it's it's wrong it's a situation it's insane so look out for that um and more patreon goodies coming your way and we are going to get back on um announcing some patreon names we are just doing an overhaul of patreon so stay tuned Stay tuned.
And if you want to go check out our notes from this episode, you can do that at www.patreon.com slash morbid podcast.
Do it. You can also hit us up on Instagram at Morbid podcast.
Tweet at us. A morbid podcast. Send us a gmail.
Morbid podcast at gmail.com unless it's something nasty, which I will delete.
Yeah. Then you could go to the Facebook group.
Morbid colon, a true crime podcast group.
That's all I can think of. Nope. Go to our website.
Oh, do that. Morbid podcast. Nope. Morbid podcast dot com.
Let's go there. We hope you keep listening.
And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you you play one of these games, because really, what do you do?
Just go find a friend, go to Target, play Scrabble, play Yahtzee, watch a TV show, do anything else.
Don't play these games. You're dumb. You're not that dumb.
Don't do it. And you know what? There's three ladybugs in here now.
Oh, tree out. Bye, guys. Bye. Thank you.
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