Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about strategies and suggestions for making our lives happier.
This week we'll talk about why it's helpful to do a no-spend February and listeners share a nicer term to replace the word squats.
I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, secrets of adulthood, human nature.
I'm in my little home office in New York City, and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Kraft.
And Elizabeth, we are gearing up to not spend in the next month.
That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A.
And yes, Gretch, if you want anything, you have to buy it now.
Go on a spree.
Not in the spirit of no spend February, certainly.
But before we jump in, we got a few updates.
In a previous episode, we talked about noticing when we have the thought I can do this task better myself, and using that realization as a prompt to take action.
And we got some interesting examples from listeners of when they had that thought and what they did.
Yeah, Jenny said I loved your segment on.
I could do this task better myself and wanted to comment on it.
That is the exact thought I had when I decided to change careers.
I had been working as a customer support manager at a tech company, which meant I had to put out fires whenever there was a bug in the software.
That would cause user issues.
I looked at what our software engineers were doing and thought I really think I could do this better.
So I went back to school, got a master's degree in computer science and I have been working as a software engineer ever since.
It turned out to be a great fit.
What a great example.
I love that.
Yes.
And Debbie said, more than a year ago I participated in a historical walking tour of the main historical area in my hometown.
While the tour guide was pleasant and seemed to know basic things, I left feeling disappointed about all the interesting stories and cultural references she omitted.
I thought to myself, I could do a better job.
So I contacted the museum offering the tour and inquired about volunteering.
At that time, there were no trainings being offered, so I let it go.
Not long after that however, I received an email from the State Museum of History seeking volunteers in many areas, and one was for docents guiding walking tours of the historical city center.
Serendipity!
So, long story short, I began the extensive training this past spring and have only to complete my graduation tour to begin leading tours on my own.
Even though this docent opportunity is not as convenient geographically.
I have learned so much and I am thrilled to be spending time sharing my love of my state with people from all over the world who visit here.
I'm so glad I thought I could do it better.
Love that.
Yes, that is awesome.
You know, my one word theme for 2026 is neighbor.
And I've been casting about trying to figure out what the visual symbol is for neighbor.
Like, is it a welcome mat?
But then that's a doormat.
Is it a cardigan?
Because that's Mr. Rogers.
Is it a cup of sugar?
What is it?
And Kelsey suggested the pineapple.
She said the pineapple is often associated with warmth, welcome, and hospitality.
I love that idea.
I love the idea of the warm welcome idea.
I love even the word pineapple.
But what I found out is that there is this myth that when returning sea captains came home, they would display a pineapple to show that they were home and receiving callers.
And that turns out to be a myth.
But it is a very popular symbol for hospitality and welcome.
Yes, I noticed it's often in hotels.
They have pineapples in the beds will be carved pineapples and things like that.
Is that right?
You know, I have never noticed that.
OK, well see, this is the fun of a visual symbol is now I'll start seeing.
How is it incorporated as a symbol of welcome?
Oh, that's really fun.
So now I have to find some kind of necklace or T-shirt or mug, or I feel like that's going to be easier than something like a cardigan.
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
The Mr. Rogers cardigan.
Yes.
So thank you, Kelsey, for that idea.
And this week, our Try This at Home suggestion is to consider no spend February.
Now, we did this once before.
It was super useful.
Before we launched in, of course, we both realized that we're extraordinarily fortunate to be able to have the financial comfort to be able to choose not to spend in this way.
So we do not take that for granted.
But when we did this a few years ago, we found it very helpful and we thought we should try it again.
Yes.
It's helpful to just look at what you do spend money on and question whether or not you need to.
So we found that it helped with revealing our spending habits and behaviors.
Alyssa, you and I both think of ourselves as underbuyers and in some ways we are underbuyers, but I think that we discovered oh, we buy plenty.
Yes.
We're not underbuying as much as we thought.
So that was one thing we learned.
Exactly.
I think for a lot of people and us included, this can be a good reset of habits.
Sometimes you're just in the habit of hitting one click, or you're in the habit of looking up ads that then end up making you want to buy.
So it's good to cut those habits off.
And so then you can sort of decide whether you want to resume a behavior, or maybe you want to try to thwart it in some way.
Yes.
And then appreciation.
It helps us appreciate what we have and that we can spend, as you were saying.
We do not spend February because we just need a little bit of time to get into the year before we do it.
A lot of people pick January because coming off the holidays, I think often people feel like whoa, I spent too much.
This is a good time to cut back.
Well, one thing a lot of people talk about is buying beauty products.
And one of the things is if you really look around your house and your bathrooms, I think many people would find they have more shampoo, they have more hand lotion, they have more soap than they think.
That stuff can really accumulate.
Or like kitchen stuff.
Sometimes you think, oh, we need this thing in our kitchen.
I mean, I remember sending a text to our whole family and I'm like please, whatever you do, do not buy a thing of nutmeg.
We have four bottles of nutmeg.
You do not need that much nutmeg.
We'll never use that much nutmeg.
Please look before you buy and see if we have something.
And so no spend makes you realize let's appreciate what we already have and use up what we have.
Yes.
It's such a good feeling when you use up something you have.
And then, Gretchen, it's also just a financial reset.
Well, if you're not spending, you can save it, you can invest it, and that can help us decide what is truly essential.
What are our values and what do we want to be spending money on?
Giving a pause to that can be very illuminating.
OK, so we're going to do this and we have to figure out what are our ground rules, because if we want to really do this, we have to know what counts as spending and like what's acceptable spending, because obviously we're going to spend something like you're going to buy gas.
That's just going to happen.
So what do we consider to be off limits?
So off limits, I mean, for me, my big thing, Gretchen, to be off limits is food delivery.
Okay.
Having food delivery because it is such an expense in my household.
And it is the thing that when you say like the habit reset, that's the habit reset.
I need more than any other.
Okay.
So would you buy a prepared meal at a grocery store?
Does that count?
I would do that.
Yes.
So anything at a grocery store, I think I would buy.
I mean, not things like trays.
Yeah, exactly.
Food at a grocery store, I will buy.
So if you bought a container of soup or you got a tray of brisket or something like that, that was prepared.
Okay.
So if it's at a grocery store, then that's okay.
What do you think about if you're eating out with friends versus just eating out?
Eating out with friends because I'm trying to connect more with people.
Yeah.
So eating out with friends.
Is okay.
Yes.
I think so too.
I think along the same lines, gifts.
Gifts are an acceptable thing.
If somebody has a new apartment and you want to buy a housewarming gift or something like that, that you could do.
Groceries, utilities, bills, essential transportation, all those things.
Now, here's an exception that I made, Elizabeth.
Tell me if you think that this is cheating too much.
Or not cheating too much, but interpreting the rules too loosely, shall we say.
Okay.
So you know that one of my 26 for 26 things is Ticket 26, where I want to buy tickets to 26 things in 2026.
Now I say buy tickets.
But there's a lot of things in New York City you don't have to buy a ticket to.
You could just go to.
I feel like, even if I do need to buy a ticket to something, I wanna include that as something that I can do, partly because if I'm gonna get up to 26, I really wanna be able to use February.
And also, I do feel like this is a high value that I identified.
It's serving the value of culture and showing up and going to things in real life and also supporting artists writers, people who are offering classes.
That's a way that I do want to be spending money.
And so I feel like it's in this special category of as part of the 26 for 26 initiative.
Do you think that that is an acceptable way of thinking about it?
Absolutely, because this is what's useful for you.
We always say do what works for you.
So someone's no spend February might not include tickets and others will.
So I think it's fine.
Right.
If one person felt like, oh, I just go to concerts all the time.
I don't know anybody who's like, oh, I go to concerts all the time.
Or, oh my gosh, I go to theater every single night.
And that seems very admirable.
But the larger point is, it's not so much about having an absolute rule.
It's how are the rules right for you?
Like, what do you feel like you're spending money on too much or too...
Or casually, or thoughtlessly, or maybe in a way that is not even the way you wish you were spending your money.
Or what is the way where it's really intentional and purposeful?
Well, so along the same lines Alyssa, I think a lot of people might say like well, if I wanted to buy a book, I would allow myself to buy a book.
But I have to say no, do not buy a book for a month, because that's a place where I really do kind of –.
Of course, as a writer, I think it's great when people buy books.
So I don't think that that's a wrong way to spend money.
But I do feel like this is a month where I can really lean deeper into the library and make a list.
And then maybe I would make different choices if I didn't decide day to day what I felt like buying.
Whereas for somebody else, they might say like, no, books are OK.
I feel like I can buy as many books as I want.
No clothes, which seems like an obvious one.
Now, the funny thing about this Gretchen is I really don't buy clothes very often, but I do spend a lot of time looking at clothes online and looking at sales.
So, to me, the knowledge that I'm not going to buy anything will keep me from just spending an hour checking out different sales and will give me more time to do other things.
I just think this is so curious aspect of your nature.
This is surprising to me, because you've reported this for years that you do spend a lot of time like checking sales, but you don't actually buy that much clothes.
And I know that.
I think it's not uncommon.
I think a lot of people spend a lot of time looking and then don't buy.
And put things in the cart but don't buy.
No, that is true.
And that is something that's interesting that research shows that a lot of people, when they look at why people don't check out from their carts, a lot of people never intended to check out from their carts.
They're sort of doing it as a hobby.
And I get that desire to curate or to pick or to say like oh, this is what I would get if price were no object, or whatever.
But do you foresee that you will gain a lot of time?
Do you think that will be Even as much as saving money?
You will save time that you could use watching reality TV.
Aren't you rewatching a show this year?
Do I remember?
Mad Men.
Rewatching Mad Men.
I mean, how much more fun is that?
I mean, I don't spend an enormous amount of time, but it's enough time that I'm happy to get it back.
Right.
Okay.
So that's the kind of thing that will be interesting to see.
Maybe it's more time than you think.
Maybe it's less time than you think.
Maybe, I don't know.
It's just illuminating.
Yeah.
And then no new subscriptions.
I think both of us can fall prey to subscriptions.
That'll be a good one for me to just say, okay, this month, no new subscriptions, period.
But it's funny because as somebody, you've got a Substack, I've got a Substack.
I love it when people subscribe.
We're writers.
You do TV.
You like when people sign up for a streaming service.
But for that reason, Gretchen, I do subscribe to a lot of things because I do value subscriptions.
I do think it's good to subscribe.
Yes.
So I already have a lot of subscriptions.
That's true.
That's true.
You can take a pause for a month, still be supporting a lot of writers and creators, and then come back to it.
I think that's right.
Exactly.
No, and it's just reacquainting yourself with these automatic habits.
Okay, so we did this before.
And so, if you're curious to hear even more conversation about this, we discussed our plans for it and our experiences in episodes 466.
And in 475 we also shared a lot of hacks from listeners about what they observed and what they did for their no spend.
And Alyssa, do you remember this?
This was one of the funniest ideas we've ever had, and people responded to it so much.
It was a listener who said that every January she and her husband did Survivor Pantry Island and they would really eat from their pantry in their freezer and like to try to clear it out.
That's such a whimsical way of saying, let's eat out all of our-
I know.
So fun.
So fun.
Oh, but listen, I wanted to ask you.
So Sarah Fane, your writing partner and the co-host of Happier in Hollywood and The Substack.
And she is an overbuyer for sure.
Yeah.
Self-proclaimed.
And she did a no spend year.
Is there anything useful that Sarah learned that you would pass along for people who are thinking of joining us?
On No Spend February?
One thing that was interesting is she did categories, which I think was helpful, like the category of mugs.
She's not going to buy the category of T-shirts.
She had all these different categories, which I think 25 categories, which was helpful to her.
The thing that she and I sort of reflected on it and what we realized is what she likes to spend money on is experiences, but experiences like in the house.
So not like going out to a concert, but a yarn spinner or a bread maker or a paraffin wax machine.
Yeah, she likes a gadget.
She likes a hobby.
She likes to kind of experiment.
She likes to learn.
Yes, a new skill or improve something.
So I think she's learned to like check with herself.
Does she really want or need this thing in her house before moving forward?
So I think she found it really helpful.
What she's doing this January is using only cash. which means she can't order things online.
And of course, it makes you more mindful when you're spending cash versus charging something.
So I think that's another interesting challenge.
That's a super interesting challenge.
But it's funny because some people say that they actually feel more on the hook when they use credit cards, because then there's a record where they feel like if there's cash, there's no accountability.
I think that's more rare.
I think the pain of cash is more real.
But this is a good thing.
Like maybe experiment with it and see.
Another person said to me that she had a deal with her brother that if she spent more than 75 on anything, she had to ask him first.
Just like not even for his permission, but just kind of in its accountability.
So there's funny ways that people do it.
Because the whole point is that the more intentional we are with our actions, the more our lives can reflect our values.
And this is one way to try to do that with a really important aspect of life, which is money.
So No Spend February starts this week.
And if you want to join us for a month of paying closer attention to your spending habits, start thinking about it now.
It will come along soon.
And if you've done this before...
What has worked for you?
What did you discover?
What are your questions?
Send it all to us at podcast at GretchenRubin.com.
You can look on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook.
As always, the show notes, happiercast.com slash 571.
This is always super thought provoking.
So we're really interested to hear what everybody learns and experiences.
All right, Gretz coming up, we've got a happiness hack related to your determination that you want to do squats, 12 squats, all the time in 2026.
But first, this break.
New year, new systems, right?
This is the time when we all look at the messier parts of our business and think there has to be a better way.
And there is.
Streamlining your communications is one of the quickest and easiest upgrades you can make.
That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O the smarter way to run your business communications.
Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, with over 3000 reviews built for how modern teams work.
That's why more than 90000 businesses, from solo operators to growing teams, rely on Quo to stay connected, professional and consistently reliable.
Make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away.
Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com slash happier.
That's Q-U-O dot com slash happier.
Quo.
No missed calls, no missed customers.
Gretchen, so many of us want to drink less alcohol this year.
Little Saints makes elevated non-alcoholic cocktails and spirits for people who love the ritual of a great drink.
That's me.
I love the clink of the ice, the smell of a citrus peel, but I don't like not having good sleep, not feeling great the next day.
Little Saints has zero sugar and only five calories, and it is non-intoxicating.
New Year's Eve, Adam and I both had Paloma from Little Saints.
I poured it in a crystal glass with ice and it felt like we were just enjoying this great, elevated ritual.
With Little Saints, you get the taste and the ritual, but you don't have the alcohol or the sugar.
If you love cocktails but not the aftermath, Little Saints is worth trying.
Use code HAPPIER to get 15% off your first order.
Little Saints products are non-alcoholic.
Functional ingredients are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition.
We all have those nightmare scenario moments that make your heart race, when you're lying in bed and realize you didn't lock the front door or you've left for the day and remember the stove is still on.
Or even worse, you get home to find that someone's broken a window.
ADT understands how unsettling it is to feel unsafe at home or unprepared for an emergency.
That's why they're here, for the moments when every second counts, with customizable security systems that keep watch 24-7, with the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, with technology that enables first responders to send help even faster.
And because they understand how important your space is to you.
Their ADT Plus app allows you to check in on your home from virtually anywhere, so you can rest easy knowing that everything's okay.
ADT helps make sure your home is a haven, not another thing to worry about.
When every second counts, count on ADT.
Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT-ASAP to learn more.
Okay, Gretchen, we are back with this week's happiness hack.
This one made me smile.
Well, yes.
As you said on my 26 for 26 list, I said that I wanted to do 12 squats whenever it occurred to me.
So like I'm in the elevator, I'm waiting for my coffee, whatever.
Just do 12 squats because that's really good exercise.
And I commented in passing how much I disliked the word squats.
It's like one of the worst words in the world.
And Emmy wrote, I wanted to offer an alternative to the word squat.
Squats are very similar to a ballet exercise, the grand plie.
A grand plie in second position is essentially a wide squat.
So if you want to be fancy in French or classical and emulate a ballerina, use the term grand plie instead of squat.
And I like that so much better.
So I'm going to be doing 12 grand plie whenever it occurs to me.
I will never squat again.
Okay.
Well, here's my question.
Have you been doing it?
I have been doing it.
No, it's funny, but it is the kind of thing where it's not paired with anything or tied to anything.
So some days I'll do it like three times, and some days I'll kind of forget about it.
But that's why it's good that it's up on my bulletin board, because I glanced at it, but I do do it.
And I do it sometimes when I've been sitting a long time and my legs get restless.
Do you get that?
I get really restless.
And so it feels good to work them.
So I have been doing it.
You do a grand Grand plié.
Grand plié.
Yes.
Nice.
This is so fancy in French.
Thank you, Emmy.
And now a know yourself better question.
And this is kind of relevant for No Spend February.
Jen says, I just wanted to share a potential know yourself better question, which is...
Do you appreciate or enjoy makeshift solutions or not?
I personally, as a general rule, do not like makeshift solutions and they often can actually bug me.
However, there are people such as my father-in-law and husband, who seem to love the challenge of thinking of ways to use an object for something other than its intended purpose.
For example, my father-in-law uses his city provided garbage cans for rainwater collection and then brings his garbage over to our house to put it in our garbage cans.
To me, this would seem like a huge unnecessary hassle.
Why not purchase a rain barrel, which will have an easier to use water spout and continue to use the garbage cans as garbage cans?
Yeah.
Another example is in a prior episode during COVID, you brought up a tip that an ironing board can be used as a standing desk.
That may have worked for a short period for me, but I wouldn't be able to stand using that long term.
Even something such as using a packet of printer paper to raise a computer monitor doesn't appeal to me.
Just thought I'd share this as I don't recall hearing this topic discussed before.
I think this is so interesting.
I know exactly what she's talking about.
And just speaking of words that you like and words that you don't like, I love the word makeshift.
It's like, how is there a word for that?
And what it means is serving as a temporary substitute, sufficient for the time being.
It's exactly, it's so satisfying to have a word that means makeshift.
So what do you think, Elizabeth?
How do you feel about the makeshift?
I think I know how you feel about the makeshift.
Well, I don't want to spend time figuring it out.
I mean, I use my new Zoom setup as an example.
Like for years, I have been complaining, struggling, angsting over having a bad background for Zoom.
And then I didn't do anything about it.
But Adam took it upon himself to create a setup for me that really works, which is basically now a card table in front of my computer.
So I flopped my background.
But I wouldn't have spent time doing that.
But I love using it now that he's come up with this makeshift solution, which isn't probably so temporary.
I'll probably keep it for years.
Mm hmm.
But Gretchen, I actually had a makeshift solution the other day and I must say I was so proud I presented it to Adam.
Oh, what?
I could not find a ponytail holder to save my life.
I had no ponytail holders.
I was going to Orange Theory.
I needed a ponytail holder.
So I found an old discarded COVID mask in my car and I pulled off the little elastic bands to go around your ears.
I tied them both together.
Each one I tied into a loop, and then I used them both as my ponytail holder.
Wow.
And it worked.
That is a totally makeshift solution.
Yes, right?
And you found it very satisfying.
But had I not been desperate, I wouldn't have taken the time to do that.
Okay, can I just say you better buy some ponytail holders before it's been February.
I did.
Okay, good.
You put in your store.
Yes.
Well, it's interesting because I do think that one thing that I've noticed about underbuyers and I think you and I are both typically underbuyers is that they do tend to accept makeshift solutions, sometimes more than is really desirable.
I will often use a broken umbrella for a really, really long time because I'm like well, it kind of works.
I don't want to throw it away where you can still kind of use it.
I remember I think I was writing Happier at Home and I was writing about underbuyers and I was saying how I kind of resisted Kleenex, the concept of Kleenex, because I was like, just blow your nose in toilet paper.
You don't need a specialized product for that.
And my editor thought that was so bonkers.
She literally said, this isn't realistic.
Don't put in such a nonsense example that no one would ever do.
And I was like, that is from my own life.
It took me a long time to make peace with Kleenex.
Or like, I don't use conditioner.
Because I'm like, this is like an add-on.
See, to me, that's nuts.
But I have very coarse hair that needs conditioner.
Okay.
See, for me, I guess I was just like, I don't even know what this is for.
So, like, what am I doing?
Anyway.
I don't know if that's makeshift or not, or maybe that's just a product that I don't need, or maybe I do need it and I just am not understanding how I need it.
But using computer paper to raise your monitor.
I do think that over the long term it can start being very draining to have something that's really not intended for a purpose or really is just a broken or bad substitute for something it can feel really good to get exactly the right thing.
I think Elizabeth, in the Happier in Hollywood newsletter you were writing about the ecstasy of the paddle light for you, how having exactly the right tool you know beautiful tools make work a joy and having that thing that is exactly suited for its purpose, That can be really, really energizing.
But as she said, some people get really energizing by rigging up a makeshift solution.
Yeah.
That is funny, right?
It's like the MacGyver gene.
You know, some people love to MacGyver something and others have no interest.
And I think it's if you like to tinker and mold.
Yes.
Yes.
Engineer than you like makeshift solutions.
Yes.
And the smugness that comes from like, I don't have to go out and buy something.
The reason I think this kind of know yourself better distinction is useful is I do think that it lets us have more compassion for other people, less frustration with other people, or maybe more compassion or less frustration with ourselves.
Because if you say to somebody like, oh well, you might be, like it's just driving me bonkers that there's all these extra steps that this person is putting themselves through, and just be resentful on their behalf, even though they're perfectly happy, if you understand.
This is just the way some people are.
Or maybe they're really good at that and they think oh, who are you to like?
Go out and buy a special garbage can, just to collect rainwater?
It's like, yeah, because I don't like makeshift solutions.
Again, nobody's right.
Nobody's wrong.
It's just we have different perspectives.
Yes.
So really interesting question.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
OK, Gretch, coming up, you have an AI demerit.
But first, this break.
Okay, we're back with demerits and gold stars.
And Gretchen, this week, it's your turn for a demerit.
Yes.
Okay, so on my 26 for 26 list and it has been for a couple of years I included the item that I wanted to keep pushing myself to learn and experiment with AI.
And if you at all follow the discussions around AI these days, there's a huge amount of emphasis on what's called vibe coding.
Because Claude came out with a product, Claude Code that was really, really good at coding startlingly good at coding even among people who are professionals at it.
And they also came out with a product called Clog Cowork, which is coding for people who don't even know how to code at all.
And it's just sort of like coding using regular language.
I listen to podcasts and read newsletters, and everybody says, just get in there and do something.
Even if you know nothing about coding, just to get a sense of what it can do and to get a sense of what could be possible.
And I haven't done it, even though I want to.
And this is what I realized, Alyssa.
This is why I think this demerit actually illuminates a larger issue within my life.
Hmm, is that?
To do that I need open time where I feel like I have a little bit of mental energy to spare and I can futz around with something and play and be frustrated and create and just do something not very efficiently and just sort of experiment and mess around in a playful way.
But I don't feel like I have that time.
I just keep feeling like I need to dig out.
I need to finish my proposal on Project Empty Nest.
I need to Type up all my notes for War and Peace.
I need to do all my photo albums.
And, by the way, I'm 18 months behind in my photo albums because I realized I never actually did them in 2024.
So lesson learned.
So I'm just feeling like I need to dig out.
But this is the problem with my life, is I always have this feeling like if I could just dig out of everything that I have to do right now, then I will have this open time.
That never happens.
Right.
That never happens.
I never dig out.
I'm always like, oh, it'll be quieter after the summer or after the fall or after the holidays.
And it's like it's never that.
If it's important to me, I need to find a way to do it now.
And so I'm giving myself this demerit to say, like, this is a really important value.
This is something that I really think is worthwhile to do.
Elizabeth, one of your mantras is step into the future.
I want to step into the future and understand what these tools can do.
And probably I'll have fun with it.
I have an idea for a website that I think would just be fun to do.
But I haven't done it because of this feeling of I don't have the mental energy and space to tackle.
You know, that fiddly thing where you're like it's kind of fun but it's also kind of really frustrating.
And it makes you feel smart, but it also makes you feel dumb.
And I just feel sort of exhausted even thinking about it.
But I know that I do want to do it.
Yeah.
And we should mention Gretchen.
Of course, the whole topic of AI is a big messy topic, but it's not going away.
So you and I have both decided that there's no point in not understanding AI, because pretending it doesn't exist is not going to make it go away.
So we are trying to embrace it as opposed to just wish it Or even understand it.
Even if we choose not to embrace it, it's here.
We need to understand it.
We want to understand it.
But Alyssa, take us up.
What is your gold star?
Well, Gretch, I am giving a gold star to the concept of roaming through Costco.
Oh, love it.
I've been going a lot more to Costco lately.
And as you know, Dad loved Costco.
It was the only shopping he really enjoyed.
We mentioned it.
He would jump to his feet if you said we need something from Costco.
Yeah.
So we mentioned even in his obituary, the only shopping he enjoyed was Costco.
So what I've noticed, I didn't do it, I don't think, because of that.
But I have noticed that roaming through Costco, I do feel very connected to dad.
It's a really nice thing.
And then on a practical level, I've decided that the more time I just spend roaming Costco, then I really understand Costco and it becomes much easier, easier to use Costco.
And I've just accepted that you can't just run in and get something.
It's just better to commit to the process and just enter into Costco and just not have a timeframe and just be there.
And what does it mean to learn Costco?
Well, just to learn, like what is where, although they do move things, which was one of the last things we talked to dad about
Yes, we did.
Isn't that funny?
We did.
It was a whole conversation that we had.
Oh, that's a happy memory.
But just learning, okay, what seasonally, what do they have?
Just learning what's there and what changes because it does change.
So is it worth going back to see if they have something else that you want?
Anyway, I've been enjoying it.
It's a new hobby and it's nice because of dad.
Well, it's interesting because when I was writing Life in Five Senses, you know how I said okay, I decided I was going to go to the Metropolitan Museum every day.
And I still do because I love going.
What I found is that's kind of an impulse that a lot of people have, which is to go to the same place every day and check it out.
And a guy said to me, oh, I always there's like a big chain drugstore.
And I go there just to see what's going on.
And I was like, there's so much happening in a big chain drugstore.
It would be interesting to see how it changed over time.
And same thing with Costco.
I'm sure it's like the seasonal displays and what's the logic behind what they do and what they put on sale?
And it would be interesting just to really pay attention.
Yes.
Not that I'm going to Costco every day, mind you.
But I am settling in.
You could treat it as something to be interested in rather than something to rush through.
Exactly the resource for this week if you are listening in real time.
Valentine's day is coming up fast, so get ahead of it.
Right now.
In the happiness project collection, there is a sale with 30 off some of my favorite gifts, like the page a day moment of happiness calendar, which is great if people love quotations or want to start their day with a happy thought.
That's one of those calendars where you tear off a page and there's a quotation on it and it's just some little thought-provoking idea.
There's the Memento keepsake journal, which is great for people who really want to hang on to memories or really like to keep things organized.
You could give it blank, or you could fill it with things if you wanted to give it to somebody as a memento.
And then there's the Don't Break the Chain tracker, which a lot of people like.
Don't Break the Chain is a very, very popular form of memory.
Have a tracking.
Elizabeth, I know you like a tracker.
And so it's a form of accountability that people really like to keep streaks going.
So all that is 30% off if you go to happiercast.com slash shop.
And Elizabeth, what are we reading?
I am reading Half His Age by Jeanette McCurdy.
And I am reading Gray Divorce, What We Lose and Gain from Midlife Splits by Jocelyn Elise Crowley.
And that's it for this episode of Happier.
Remember to try this at home.
Try No Spend February.
Join us.
Let us know what you learned, what you've experienced, what your rules for yourself are.
We cannot wait to hear.
Thanks to our executive producer, Chuck Reed, and everyone at Lemonada.
And here's the most classic version of the rhyming reminder.
If you like the show, tell others you know.
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.
And I'm Gretchen Rubin.
Thanks for joining us Onward and Upward.
Elizabeth, I feel like the thing about a card table is a card table is like a makeshift solution that you can plan for.
It's like I need to rig something up or I need to have a temporary workspace, or I need to set up a bar.
I need to have an arts and crafts space.
I need to wrap presents.
It's a tool for a makeshift solution.
So maybe it's not makeshift because it's actually made for that purpose.
Yeah.
Well, I have to say, one of my secrets of adulthood is that everybody needs to own not one but two card tables.
Yeah.
I'm thinking that I need a square one.
I have a rectangular, long rectangular one.
I'm thinking I need to have two square card tables.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll get it in March.
Yeah.
From the Onward Project.
Hi, Gretchen, Craig Robinson, and my little sister Michelle here.
We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you.
You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes.
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you.
Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective.
So consider questions like this.
What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me?
Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me?
If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose?
And here's a question.
Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would I like to have more time with friends?
You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier.
With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values.
In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition.
For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts.
You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents, and so many more.
