I'm thinking of getting bangs.
Oh, you totally should.
You would be so cute with bangs.
You have the face for it.
I don't.
Oh, there's my better half.
Kim, would you mind?
Thank you.
Hey, honey, where are you?
Oh, I'm on my way to Downey.
Oh, did you know Karen and Richard Carpenter grew up in Downey?
What a random and not helpful fact, Phil.
I'm sorry.
I'm having kind of a rough day.
Yeah, I'm kind of having a rough day myself.
Look, Phil, I need you to take care of dinner for me.
What's wrong?
Oh, Alex ripped Haley's favorite sweater and now I'm driving around from store to store trying to find the exact same one before Haley finds out.
Don't do that.
Just explain to her what happened.
Uh-uh.
Haley's not gonna understand.
Sure she will.
No, Phil, you don't understand.
I'm trying to avoid this turning into a whole big thing.
Then just get her something close.
She'll never know the difference.
Phil, could you just take care of dinner, sweetie?
That's all I'm asking.
That's it.
I'm just saying there's a simpler way to do this.
There is no simpler way.
Just make dinner.
Thank you.
Hello?
What?
Okay, I'm confused.
You're saying that if she tells me she has a problem, I'm not supposed to help her?
Not unless she asks for your help.
But if she lets me help her, I can make her problem go away.
That is such a male thing to say.
Well, forgive me for being a man.
Mango or kiwi?
Kiwi.
When you say, you know, do this or do that, all she's hearing is, I'm smarter than you.
Believe me, she doesn't think that.
She doesn't want you to solve her problems.
She just wants you to give her support so that she can solve her problems herself.
Yes, and sometimes, sometimes she just wants a sympathetic ear.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Maybe it's all the creams, but that just made sense, girlfriends.
So if Claire says I hate getting stuck in traffic, I shouldn't say maybe you should leave earlier or don't get on the freeway.
I should just say, I know.
That's so frustrating.
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
And if she says uh uh, the waiter I had today was so rude, I shouldn't say maybe you should just order something on the menu for once.
I should just say, what a jerk.
And if she says Phil, the TV's driving me crazy, I should just say I know there is not enough quality programming for women.
No.
Turn off the damn TV.
Okay, now I'm confused again.
She's on her way.
Did you find it?
I did.
At the fifth store I went to.
It was in the window and I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it.
So we have that to look forward to on the Internet.
Thank you so much, Mom.
You're welcome.
Now go put that exactly where you found the other one, okay?
Okay?
Mwah.
Uh-oh.
What?
The security tag!
It's still on!
I told those people to take that off.
Oh, no.
Just the link into the driveway!
Okay, it's fine.
It's fine.
Don't panic.
I've got it.
I've got it.
She's getting out of the car.
I'm doing it.
I've almost got it.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
What is that?
Well, it's ink.
She's in the house.
What are you doing with my sweater?
Oh, my God, it's ruined.
It was an accident.
I knew this would happen, you idiot.
Hey, hey, let's try to get along.
I wish you was never even four.
They were trying to make one with a brain.
No, honey, you guys are both pretty smart.
It's that sweater, huh?
Yeah, it is.
That sweater.
And I did everything I can to stop them from fighting.
I don't understand why they can't see how much you love them.
I don't know.
Meanwhile, Cheryl has been calling me all day because she's angry I didn't show up.
Doesn't Cheryl have a housekeeper and a nanny?
Why does she need so much help?
I know, right?
You work so hard.
You do so much.
I do.
I do.
Oh.
Oh.
Sweetie, thank you.
I really appreciate that.
