Hi everyone, it's Keisunga. Just a reminder that you can listen to all of our podcasts ad-free on the Headspace app.
Hi, I'm Dora and welcome to Radio Headspace, and to Thursday.
So the other day, I was catching up with a really good friend of mine.
You know, this is someone who I've been close to for over 15 years.
So they've seen all the ways my life has transformed.
But recently, I've been noticing that when we're talking, and it's not just with this friend, but people in general,
we always focus on the past.
I'm constantly being reminded of that one time, or you remember when.
And it can be a little irritating because I've worked so hard to become the person that I am now,
and the past seems so irrelevant. It almost feels invalidating.
So the other day, I recorded an Ask Dora episode for Headspace's The Wake Up,
a mini episode where our team of brilliant meditation teachers answers questions from our community.
And someone wrote in asking,
Do you have any advice on disconnecting from the identity of your past?
They shared that they had grown up in a troubled environment and had recently moved out and started to live a healthier and happier life.
And this made me think about, why is it that we try to disconnect and separate ourselves from our past,
when our past is also a sum total of our experience?
What if, instead of feeling ashamed or upset about our past,
we saw it as something that has tremendous value?
Perhaps we could think of it as a museum, where there's hundreds of relics, antiques, fossils, and findings from centuries ago
that have value and help create a story.
We even pay to see these things in a museum.
So maybe it's time to approach our past, whatever it is, in that same way.
Now, we don't have a lot of time to get into my life story, but there's many experiences that have shaped me and made me who I am.
I think my greatest teacher has been Heartbreak.
My most recent breakup left a huge imprint on my heart.
There was tremendous grief and shame from yet again another failed relationship.
This is someone who I really thought I would spend the rest of my life with, and I'm sure everyone in my life thought the same.
But behind the scenes, I was starting to realize that there was unhealed wounds that I hadn't tended to that were bleeding into this relationship.
You know, thoughts of insecurity, feelings of unworthiness, and major self-doubt that I thought I had addressed before we had decided to be together.
So, as our relationship came to an end, I was left with shame and unresolved trauma from past relationships.
To cope, I just wanted to forget everything that had happened and leave it in the past.
But the thing is, the lessons that I had learned over those four years have truly been some of the greatest lessons that I've learned in my life.
But it was only when I was able to see the value in them, really see the magic in the breakdown and heartbreak that I had realized, this heartbreak and past heartbreaks are honorable relics in my life museum.
So, if you've had a troubled past and this is something that you're working to recover from, my invitation to you is how can we use our experiences, good or bad, as a way to create our own life's museum?
I'm not saying that there's value in someone causing you harm or hurting you, but when we can ease the resistance that we have to our past, start to create space for those memories to be in our bodies, but not overrule the wisdom of our bodies.
We can start to see our past as a stepping stone and not a roadblock. It really begins with our awareness.
I'll leave it there for today. Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow.
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