Hi, welcome back to eEyerCres podcast. I'm G-Soo. I'm Crystal and I'm Kate.
Welcome back Kate. Last time episode two sixteen meeting new people, which was a fun episode, and I feel like very
relevant. You know, it's hard to meet new people at our age and I still often think back that episode
actually what we talked about whenever I'm like new people. But before we get to today's topic,
we do have a slang word to discuss and this one is kind of fun because it's kind of like an
evolution of one of the previous words that we've talked about before and the previous phrase is
let them cook. Today's word is cooked and so in like a sentence I guess it would be like,
wow right now in the NBA finals, maps are so cooked. No. So the meaning of cooked is basically like
your screwed, you're not in a good place, it's looking pretty doomed for you. That was what confused
me because I had only heard of like the word cook in slang turns being used as like, oh let him
cook, let them cook, right? So it's like usually a good thing. Like this is something good that is
about to happen. So I actually hear like the positive version of that which is like bro really
cooked. Like he did the said cooking that we allowed him to do. I don't actually haven't heard it
used in like the, oh like, uh oh, like he's cooked now. Like this is a bad thing for this person.
It is so funny that it's like a dual meaning, almost exact opposite meanings like actually.
But how I've been seeing it often lately is sort of like a way to roast yourself. So on TikTok
sometimes on your feed there's like weird videos that come up, right? The comments will always be like,
oh I'm cooked, I find this funny. It's so over basically. So then I feel like that's like a really
funny way of joking about it. But I can totally see how it can be confusing because it can mean both
things at the same time. Yeah. So now I just have to use context clues. So whether this is a positive
thing or a negative thing. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it is a very heavily context based now.
In my mind, when I think of cooked, I kind of think of it attached to the previous like,
oh let them cook. Yeah. Kind of thing. So I think, oh it's like overcooked now. So that's why it's like
done. It's over. Make anything of the game overcooked, which is really fun.
I find it kind of funny too because cooked or like let him cook or even I'm cooked. I feel like
it's a slightly more male leaning term. It's not for the girls in the games. Like it's more for like
the dudes, you know, who watch sports or play games or whatnot in a stereotypical sense. And I'm
just like, why are these guys making jokes about cooking? Because I feel like I'm in the women
other ones cooking. Oh my god. That's like slang, right? Because it's a four new concept.
It's like newly introduced. Oh my god. But that's such a good point because I feel like you're
right. When I think of this like slang term and the original one, like let them cook,
I do mostly think of it in the context of sports and like games. And that's where I see a lot of
this kind of like specific slang. And like TikTok, I see more of instead of saying like,
let them cook. It's like, oh, this person ate. Yes. That one I do hear a lot from my coworker
who's very, very young, like fresh out of college. Yeah. Actually, two areas of my life where I get
my slang from are either from my coworker who is young or from my now fiance who actually like
isn't to like esports and everything. So streamers will always like introduce newest terms and then
he'll start using it in his speech. And I'll just be like, what is that? Yeah, but it's funny
to see how this word I have seen used in both from my friend who is my coworker and then also
Brian who is using it more than like the negative term and my friend who's using more like the positive
term. Yeah, I feel like streamers and Twitch. That's where a lot of interesting slang originates from.
Yeah, I can't think of any of the top of my heart right now. Every time they get introduced to me,
I'm like, I'm not following the thought process of like how you came to this term being what
you're going to use. I feel like some of the more outrageous things come from streams and stuff.
I mean, one that I can think of which we've often mentioned as you know, the biggest mystery slang
is Skipety. Oh, I've only ever heard it through streams and like gaming kind of stuff. So that's
just where I assume it originates from. But I'm like, yeah, they always have the most outrageous
slang dude. Have you watched the video? I have not the Skipety toilet one. I have not. It's cursed.
It's just like a man's head in the toilet and like he moves erratically is what I've seen and I'm like
I've seen enough. Interesting. Well, I think this one ranks pretty high in my opinion of slang that's
easy to use especially because you can use it on both ends of the spectrum. But I guess slang
words aside, let's jump into our actual topic today which is double dates. I want to talk about
success strategies for double dates whether we prefer them or not and just general things about
going on a date with another couple. So let's start with do you guys like double dates and why or
why not? I definitely love double dates. For me, it's more just like a fun way to hang out with
my friends who happen to be couples. I guess it's just like just the nature of the activity that we're
doing right. So I hang out with my two good friends Daniel and Esther the lot with Ryan and we'll
do things like go on grocery runs, we'll eat out, we'll play and do volleyball together.
But it's more of a group activity with everyone else. But we'll watch movies. Sometimes we'll just
hang out each other's houses. So we hang out with them a lot in all of the like areas are different
types of activities that we do. I wouldn't consider all of them double dates right. So if it's
something that I perceive as an activity I would only do with Ryan then that would kind of just
be like a double date like if it's something more like a special occasion. But if it's something
as simple as like doing chores that's not a double date like sometimes we'll get groceries
together. Because that's the majority of my experience with hanging out with another couple.
I don't feel as though it is a double date. Just like I'm hanging out with my friends who are also
couples. So I guess for it to qualify as a double date in your mind it first and foremost has to
qualify as a date. Yes. Yeah. Okay. I think that makes sense. Meals are more often potential
double dates. Yeah. So for meals it's like if I'm just gonna go grab like some to go and then we're
gonna take it and eat it at our house and it's just the four of us and we're just watching some TV.
Like I would do that on a casual like weekday with Brian. That's not a date to me. So therefore
if I'm doing this with Daniel and Esther then it's also not a date. But if we're eating a fancy
meal and we're celebrating like their birthdays or we're doing something like oh let's try that
new fancy place and we get up and we get dressed up I would consider that a date. Yeah.
I think that distinction makes total sense to me too because there are things that you can do with
your SO and it just feels so everyday and routine and then when you set out to go on a real date
I think the mindset feels completely different. It's not always just the clothes or like just the
environment or the setting but it's like I wake up and I'm like oh my god like today we're going
on a date and it feels so much more special so it makes sense that that would translate into
the double date realm as well. Yeah I guess I never really thought about what defines a double date
versus not because you're right I think now as more and more of our friends find partners it's more
common that we end up hanging out and it just happens that you know everyone's SOs are there so I
guess you know in those situations it's not necessarily like a double date or a triple date or
whatever x amount of people it's more just like oh we're hanging out and everyone's just here.
Yeah and like having a double date is more like intentional I would say. Yeah I guess the same
way that you would define what constitutes a date with your significant other is the same type of
logic I would apply to is that a date with the other couple as well but it does get like confusing
at times because I'll have friends who are couples and friends who are single too and basically any
time that I hang out with like the only the friends who are couple the single friends will be like
oh you guys are on a date it's like I don't feel like we are on a date like we're doing something
very simple like I wouldn't consider this a date with Ryan therefore I wouldn't consider a
double date with my other couple of friends so I always thought that was interesting and they
have told us before they're like oh you guys are they're planning a triple date they're planning
a double date like we must not impede it's like no it's totally fine if you guys wanted to come
that's that's okay you don't you guys have to feel like this is like a special occasion but I
think because it is just like couples they feel as if they cannot impede. It's probably their
excuse so they don't feel like the you know x the wheel or what I do think like visually at least
when I see two couples hanging out on Instagram stories or something I always process that as like
oh that's a double date that's right that's totally fair it just comes off I think I'm guilty of that
yeah I think there's also we're kind of talking about how the boundaries can feel fuzzy sometimes
I feel like there's been many times where I'm hanging out with my friends and then halfway through
I'm like whoa is this a double date oh that's interesting would you consider like when when me and
Brian come over to your place and we're playing board games do you consider that a double date
so I actually didn't until we sat down to record this episode today and I was like oh my god
recurring double date I have always considered that a different thing. What? No way
because I'm sure like do you share stuff with you and one of those being we play board games
very often at her place you always thought that was like a double date yeah in my mind I was like
oh that's so cute they have like a schedule double date like a recurring double date as you
as you call it to put them on the flip side crystal you and your boyfriend and us like we go out
to play like golf sometimes and then grab a meal or something afterwards I don't think I ever
consider that a double date until today as well oh my wait I think someone once said it's almost
like we're on a double date golfing together and then after someone said that I was like oh I
guess this is like a double date huh oh when you're in the hangout where there are two couples you
don't feel as if it is a double date because at that stage you feel like these are just three
other friends of mine and we're all enjoying the same activity but then when you brought up that
example of like anytime I perceive two other couples hanging out it's like that's it that's
immediately a double date so it's like you don't feel like it and in my head I didn't feel like
as if it is because I feel like when I think of the word double date immediately it's like there's
a romantic element to it but when I'm actually on those double dates I don't feel the romance
it's just friendship I'm like it's just friendship that's actually a really good point like our
double date supposed to be romantic because it's like realistically it's just a bunch of friends
right who happen to be like dating each other right when I'm at jesus has playing clank like I'm not
thinking about the romance that is between the two couples yeah there's no romance just like sportsman
show for some dude you're right like now that I'm thinking about it maybe double dates aren't
necessarily supposed to be romantic maybe they're just supposed to be fun I think I kind of see it
like it's not necessarily always romantic but it establishes an arena where romance is allowed
as in if you're hanging out with friends and it's like a mixed group or whatever I feel like pda
is kind of like oh this is like a little much but I feel like in a double date setting it's slightly
more okay because you're both couples and it's sort of like fair game not that it's like
find a make out with your partner like whenever your friends who are a couple hey watch this
hey guys look like holding hands and stuff I feel like it's more okay yeah I guess because like you
establish like oh these are two couples hanging out together so it has more of that we all know
where couples and we all know there might be some sort of potential pda I like that definition
me and Brian have never truly exhibited like very much pda throughout the majority of our relationship
and honestly we didn't even question it until our friend Daniel started dating Esther
so jesus do you remember we went to Hawaii like a little a while back and it was me and
Brian you and james and Daniel yeah but it was like that was just like it felt like a friendship
because we made it a friend's trip right we focused on the activities and the competitiveness
and in the things that we were doing we made bets like we made fun of each other like it was very
much the way that we defined friendship and we saw that in the with that trip and so when Daniel
started dating Esther after this trip she actually talked to him later on because we had gone to
like a restaurant and Brian and I were walking in front Daniel Esther are walking behind and she
noticed that me and Brian were holding hands so she asked and she's like why don't Kate like
aren't they dating for like eight years like at this point like why aren't they holding hands
like why aren't they like linking arms you know why don't they call each other babe and like
we were just like oh I don't think about that when like what we're in these settings and then
she's definitely somebody who is very comfortable with holding hands calling her their significant
other babe she's very like she hugs like all her friends and she has made me more of a hugger
as well from hanging out with her so I thought that was interesting like the pda is allowed but because
I'm not used to it I'm like I know it's a lot but I'm still not gonna do it but that's a good point
because I think all three of us here are like not pda people yeah so I'm like I'm thinking about
I'm like yeah pda is totally allowed in double dates but like me personally not engaging with
but that's what Gisoo's point is right like you don't have to necessarily do it it is just
allowed and because it is allowed then that's what's part of making a double date yeah it's so
funny too because for me personally I'm recalling like a very specific memory that I have where
I remember we were hanging out with some friends and then we ended up like splitting off and we're
like walking to our cars whatever and then the group that was left was just like maybe two or three
couples and then the couple that was walking in front of us they were holding hands and then I was
like oh shit does that mean like me and Jays can hold hands on our dates like away from our friends
and stuff we're affectionate and we like hold hands and whatnot but around other people we definitely
shy away from doing that but once I saw the other couple hold hands I'm like oh my god it's
fucking fair game dude that's exactly what happened with Daniel has to be invited because she
well actually the second part of that story was she's like why don't you hold my hand
to Daniel and Daniel's like dude I don't know came find never hold hands James Gisoo never hold
hand so she's like why would like to hold hands so now they hold hands and now me and find
sometimes hold our hands more especially when we're hanging out with them because once we see that
it is like oh like it's totally fine for us to do that we're like okay like we can do if we want
to if we don't we don't Esther's got great sway I know the leadership dude but dude I don't
think I've ever seen Gisoo and James hold hands when you went to our wedding dude oh you guys held
hands I would hope so I did I win this I'm like wait are you sure you don't hands out your
you stood next to each other I'm not sure if hands were touching but I think you know double
dates being okay this is gonna sound a little odd but double dates feeling like a safe space for
couples to be affectionate I think is very true but it also kind of enables like certain conversation
topics or like vibes to also come up one example that I can think of is I feel like when you're
on a double date you can kind of talk about fights that you might have had or like you know
recent like couple struggles because you know the other couple would get it um definitely
I think that's a very fun topic but I'm also like a bit afraid to like bring it up too because
I'm like I don't want to cause issues with like this other couple but when you were James
who have been like doing for as long as like me and Brian have I'm like I'm gonna ask away like
you know and I think it's easier to dive into deeper topics like how do you resolve fights you
know when somebody is acting this way in your relationship how do you deal with that it's easier
to ask and present those questions when I know that the other couples relationship has been secure
and like you're married you know like there's no other like other status then I'm like I'm not
afraid to like ask these questions or present them to like your James but if it's somebody who's
like just started date with my friend just started dating somebody else then I'm probably not
gonna ask those questions right I'm not gonna be like oh it doesn't annoy you and like I'm not
trying to start a fight yeah but I think what's a fun thing is like finding the similarities
between the way I act in my relationship and in my friends so I think a good example is me and
Brian versus Jess and Jesse so there's a lot of similarities between my friend Jess and my
and my friend Brian my fiance Brian they have a lot of like similar personality traits in the way
that they deal with conflict and so I will see some of the areas between when Jess is like talking
about her relationship issues I can explain Jesse's side because I have been on the side where like
Brian is upset like Jess is upset in the same way so I think that's like an interesting topic
it's like who in the relationship is more like this who in the relationship is more like that
I don't know if you guys have ever noticed that between like your couple friends you too
yeah I think I definitely have and it's my specific favorite when there is that kind of gender swap
that you mentioned where maybe I can relate more to the guy or you know James can relate more to
the girl because there's just something about advice coming from you know each gender that makes
it hit a little bit differently like it's either easier to understand if my girlfriend is telling me
oh I've been in your husband's shoes like I understand what he means then it's like I think easier
for me to process a little bit it also just is like a very unique experience right like being able
to present your relationship struggles to like a jury of two people and not just like one friend
like if I go to my one friend I know she'll have my back she'll support me but with a couple
you can get a little bit more nuance maybe or different perspectives yeah I think regardless
it's very interesting to hear about like other couples and how they are similar or like maybe even
extremely not similar to how like you operate with your significant other and then sometimes it
like you can really tell during dates I guess like one thing that I always find kind of funny to
notice is like who sits down and immediately starts pouring the water for everything
and like setting out the utensils and stuff like that it's pretty interesting to observe
these things as well as like discuss oh yeah there's also speaking of like those small
mannerisms when it comes to planning double dates like there's always the people who do more
of the coordinating within a couple so actually amongst me and Brian Daniel and Esther Brian and
Esther actually talked to each other most mean Daniel just like chillin in the bag they'll be like
oh what time are we going like what are you guys when will we see you where do you want to eat
and then me and Daniel literally just like do the little reacts in the like the thumb
the thumb of the heart the ha ha like that's pretty much it because it's like whatever Esther's
communicating to Brian Daniel is involved whatever Brian is communicating Esther like I am involved
so it's fun to see like who in the relationship does that part too oh my god that reminds me of like
a super funny moment so yeah sometimes like me and my boyfriend hang out with jesus and james and
then one time james and my boyfriend planned something for us and they were like texting each
other and then we didn't know about this prior right so like I think one time I saw james pop up
on my boyfriend's phone and I was like you and james like text individually and then I think
jesus you said you had like the same thing happened on your end too and we were both
hello confused yeah I was like why is christhal's boyfriend like by my requesting you and he was like
oh like don't worry about it don't worry about it yeah we were like that's weird because normally
it's it's like me and jesus right but it's not like kind of the goal of like hanging out with
your other couples it's like at some point you no longer see each other as like the other couple
it's like those two people are our friends that's true I think it's more because like we have a
group chat so we're like why are you texting on the side okay whatever you are talking about
should be able to share it in the group chat I see that makes sense I think that was the more
shocking part we're like oh you guys are texting like individually on the side like outside
yeah actually that's a funny thing too like couples group chats I think last week or so I
went to go watch james play volleyball and then Kate also goes to those volleyball sessions as well
so I texted her I was like oh my god like are you going to the game tonight or whatever and then
I was telling james like oh like I text Kate like I'm waiting for her response and then he was like
oh I don't think you sent it and I was like what and he was like oh I didn't get a notification
in the group chat and I was like did you think that I would not just be okay I was like is all
my communication supposed to go through our group chat but yeah I feel like those couple
group chats are really easy to use because it's just like I don't want to have to tell you and then
go and tell you like your partner too it's just like everyone sees this but what's funny is I have
the the two couples that hang out with the most are Daniel Nester and my friends Jess and Jesse
so we have one with the six of us and then I have group chats with just Daniel Nester or just with
Jess and Jesse and then so sometimes the environment will like think of something like what movie to
watch right and it'll be like a movie where like okay we want to watch inside up to and then we'll
just be like who would enjoy this the most right so then we're just like which which group chat
do we use like how do we gonna plan out this movie date actually yeah so you have off-shake
exactly but then for the most part we just tend to lean towards the one where it's just like everyone
involved because it's just like if you like to you will show up if you don't want to watch that
movie you will not and movies are always like a really easy one to invite people to because if
somebody doesn't want to come you can just be like yeah they just don't like that movie you know
nobody takes offense and like you don't really feel the pressure of having to like keep up a
conversation because of the movie well this is kind of crazy though because one of the recurring
things we talk about on this podcast is my theory about trios and how they can cause a little bit
of friction and as we're talking about double dates and having like triple dates I feel like
a group of three couples is actually a trio because the unit is the couple yeah yeah so that's
very interesting actually that is very interesting I can see it being a little bit difficult to
manage I guess the biggest struggle is the one that I just mentioned right like in within this
activity who would enjoy this the most or sometimes it's just like I haven't spent as much time
with this couple let me spend more time with this couple or I've been seeing this couple a lot
recently so it's just like trying to balance out the amount of time we spend with each
remembrance because they're both important to us and we don't want to feel we don't want them to
feel like we like you more than you because that's not true right so I guess that's like the most
difficult part but for the most part all of them are really like understanding if they see we're
hanging out with the other couple nobody has ever said anything nobody ever voiced anything and
honestly I've never asked but like you just you just I had just have this feeling that they're
like pretty okay with it like I it's I've never felt any sort of tension even unsmoken to be fair
I do think like a trio of couples is a little less intense I guess because even if say like one
part of the trio is quote unquote left out they still have each other right so it's not like
someone's like truly left out on their own right so question for you guys do you think that
having a big group date so for example more than three couples right say like four or five six
couples or something like that is that double dating on hard mode or do you think the more
couples you add like the easier it gets whoa I actually don't think that we've ever specifically
planned like just couples to hang out yeah at that level of like amount what's it the same if it's
just gonna get to more than just three couples at that point it's just like okay everyone should
just come to whatever this is as long as we're able to like accommodate them because some activities
are like limited to groups of four or groups of six like I feel like very rarely are there like
activities that can accommodate like eight and more people well but I would imagine that's like
hard mode yeah because just planning for that many people in itself is already really hard yeah
but I do think maybe another potential like hard mode of double dating or even triple dating is like
doing a trip together versus just like a hangout I imagine that is probably pretty difficult dude
I've never gone on a trip with the two couples that are hanging out with the most I don't know
if the one I went to Hawaii with you she's who even counts I think it doesn't because it wasn't
like strictly couple it wasn't strictly yeah right but it was almost I know that yeah
both of you done it I got invited to one recently but I couldn't make it what I got invited I was
like whoa this is like for sure a double date like a double travel date yeah but you didn't
because I actually also took Hawaii no I I couldn't go because I was like oh shoot that one I'm
gonna be busy at work but I feel like it definitely felt very official you know the other couple
is already gonna go on this trip and they're like oh by the way like you two should join us
and I was like whoa this is the real deal I have also never done like a truly
purely couples trip actually now that I'm thinking about it I find out a little bit intimidating
because I feel like when you're going on a trip with just your SO or like a trip with your group
of friends like these are things that I've experienced before so I know what kind of behaviors or like
what kind of mindset makes a trip like that more successful and there's like routines right like how
you travel with your SO and stuff but I feel like going on a trip with another couple is almost
like the halfway point so I'm like oh do I act like I'm going on a friend group trip or do I act
like I'm going on a trip with my SO and like what is the balanced midpoint also like what happens
does everyone just like separate and do their own thing yeah at night and like is there like
limited interaction or is it like you hang out together most of the time or do you like do romantic
things together as like two couples you know so me and Brian have wanted to do like a trip with
our friends down your own estuary for a while now and it is like slowly leaving the top let's do this
let's go on this trip stages it's like what we've looked at like flights we've looked at dates now
so it's slowly exiting the chat right so we're hoping that we're going to be able to do this but
then I was thinking about this with Brian it's like precisely like what are we gonna do because even
as couples like that each unit has their own separate interests I think Daniel and Esther would
probably enjoy a little bit more of like nightlife whereas me and Brian like we don't we don't drink
I don't stay up late he is able to but like he also does not prefer to so we're also thinking
about like there are days where we should have like three days if like we're going to go on this
trip like there is a day where we collectively choose to do the things that would not interest
the other couple and then we also thought about instead of having three days like maybe we could
also compromise a little bit like we don't have to do a full night of nightlife right going to bars
maybe because but we could have like a few drinks here or there so that was like things that we
had to consider too but not to the full extent as it's not like the trip is not there's no dates
there's no flights yet I think that makes sense though there's like some compromise and giving
Elise maybe half a day to a full day for each couple to just enjoy the trip on their own too
before coming back together yeah it's a pretty good strategy yes but have not gone on one I'm
looking forward to it I'll let you know how it goes yeah come back and give us the tips yeah
I know my friends have gone on one that one was a little bit awkward because the trip was planned
for three couples and one of the couples had broken up oh no but then they both went on the trip
and so when the two couples that were still together like went off and did I think they actually
did a free day where like they went on like okay let's have a nice dinner here the second couple
was like okay we want instead of going a nice dinner we want to go do another thing and the couple
that had split up had stayed behind and then they were just like talked anyways it can be but yeah
that's precisely why it's like considered hard mode right because there's nothing that you can
really do if like the other couple is experiencing some sort of hardship whether they are breaking up
whether they are currently in a fight whether you don't know what the situation is but when they're
experiencing something difficult that's not your place to say something it's never your place to
comment on somebody else's relationship unless you're asked to it could be a bit awkward it can be
very difficult to navigate being like okay what are we supposed to do now because the plan was to
have fun you know right also as you're saying this though I'm starting to think when you take a trip
with you know other couples it's kind of like a trip where you're allowed to leave the main group
for a bit with your you know with your unit to like do whatever you want to I think it's like it's
easier to split up in like a double date or triple date situation on a trip where you're like oh
like me and my SO want to go do this we'll meet back with you guys in a couple hours versus like
imagine a friend group and then one person is like I'm gonna run off and do this everyone would
probably be like wait no like we'll all join in we're like you know we'd prefer it if you didn't
run off on your own it's also really easy within I guess like the pros of being on like a
double day or a double couple trip travel date is that when you are splitting up even if it's the
activity it's like the booth like how are we going to sit right it's really easy to just be like
okay obviously we will sit like with our partners or it could be even fun to just if it's a
activity where you can make it competitive like so you're going to mini golf right it could be like
it all in heteronormative relationships it could be like boys versus girls or like we're
gonna team up and it could just be like really fun because it's supposedly at in every couple date
whether it's always a set of two right so it's really easy to split the things evenly and I always
think that's really fun because I think things that are like competitive in nature are really fun
speaking of that though I also think double dates are really good to get to know someone's new
partner so like you know in the mini golf example you said if you did like a you know girls versus
boys then it's easy for you to like get to know the other girl better if like she's the new
person in the friend group or the guy gets a chance to get to know the other guy better if he's
like the new SO and so I feel like kind of going back to what we talked about like being intentional
with double dates think like my most intentional double dates have been when there's like a new SO
and then either I'm the one getting introduced to like other people or there's another new SO
that's being introduced to like us yeah I think doing like the gender thing where you do girls
versus guys or something is always really really easy because everyone there is by default like
closest to their SO so then the main objective of all four people there is to like get closer to
the other persons SO or like you know get close to the other person essentially so then I think
having that shared objective makes it really good vibes it's like we're all just trying to get
to know each other better or like get even closer and etc so I feel like it always brings
really good energy up definitely getting to know your friend's new significant other
hasn't really happened for me oh what about like Esther and DZ oh that's right the one
example I've been using this entire episode just forgot with Daniel because like we had known him
for so long Esther was just like a huge welcome surprise she got along with Brian and I really well
and in different ways too because she games and like Brian does not talk about things that are not
like gaming or anime and she's very inclusive too so like they got along really well and the things
that I would think that brought her and easy together the things that they bonded over are similar
interests similar hobbies same sense of humor because they clicked so well I would say like as
friends before as partners that made it so much easier for me and Brian to get close to her too
because like the way that we are close to Daniel is the same that way that we are close to her now
and it was also just really nice for me to just be able to have somebody who was able to be as
much of a friend to me as she is to Brian and like that I really really value like Jisoo like I
think that's true for you as well and I think that's really important to me but meeting her for
the first time right it was really easy with Esther because she is so open she wants to get to know
you more so I felt like I didn't have to put in as much as of an effort because of that it felt
very effortless because this person wants to get to know us so that this is my only experience
do you guys feel when your friend has a new partner that they actually put in more effort to get
to know you more because they're just like I need to make a good first impression on my new
significant others friends I think for the most part yes and there's like an added layer where
it's like I am probably super close with my friend and love that friend dearly and then that friend
loves her partner or his partner so then by proxy like we're probably somewhat similar
ish people and we'll naturally get along since like people attract like people but I think also
that's not always the case even though that is the ideal situation like there are times where maybe
your friends new sso is someone that you don't really click with off the bat but I think either way
like at least getting to know them in a double date setting is significantly easier than meeting them
like in a big group setting or like at a bigger party or something like that so even if we don't
always like click naturally or like immediately I feel like I always at least appreciate like
that double date setting so that I could actually just like get to know the sso I feel like also
another interesting angle so for someone like me where me and my boyfriends friend groups aren't as
like connected sometimes I feel like if say like one of my boyfriends close friends gets a new
significant other and they want him to meet her but then it's like oh I can't just invite him
like by himself like he obviously has a girlfriend too so then it turns into a double date you know
and then I'm like there to meet that person too but I mean not to say that originally they're like
no crystal doesn't need to meet this person but it's just like it's an interesting situation versus
like two people already being extremely close with the third friend and then meeting the
significant other I think that's interesting that you guys think that double dates are a great
way to like meet the other significant other for me I feel like it's always high stakes
because I'm always just like the new partner if they're trying to like make a good first impression
on their significant other's friends but for me when I'm like meeting my friends and you
significant other I'm like okay I need to like for the sake of my friend I need to be like not
weird like I don't want the new person to be like what did I get into who am I actually dating
I'm careful of making like jokes that like only makes sense to me and my friend so I don't think
it's it's the most comfortable situation I think but that's just based on my experiences I think
that definitely dependent upon your relationship with your friend and then also the type of person
that they tend to fall for yeah I think I can see what you mean like sometimes it's
less well-menged to meet in a bigger group of people but sometimes it is also
more manageable just meeting this one person slash two people it's easier with some people
it's more difficult with some people and I feel like if you're the person introducing your new
significant other to your friends then choosing how you want to introduce your friend whether that
is in a small group setting with like another couple or whether that's like bringing your new
significant other to your entire friend group that is like up to you to decide based off what you
already know about your new partner yeah that's true I think some people do better in small
group settings versus other people do better in large group settings and then slussing that out
is like your job as the person introducing your partner to all your friends and I guess it's also
your job to choose a good couple if you're trying to do a double date to be like all right this
this couple will make me seem less weird true uh or it could be like oh this couple knows me
really well like this hanging out with this couple is like the best and most accurate representation
of me and my humor and like my past life so maybe that's how you choose the couple as well
me immediately thinking about the impressions that I'm making of so speaking of you know choosing
which couples to go on a double date with are there any qualities that kind of make you immediately
think oh this couple would be like really fun to have a double date with yes at the very least I
think everyone involved in this double date needs to have the potential to be friends as individuals
in the near future oh wow dude that's kind of like hard though isn't it it is very hard yeah like
I mean relationships themselves are hard just trying to melt your entire life and who you are
with another person is a difficult task and so doing that with double the amount should also be
hard is how I think about that so for me it's like a good double date will happen if I can see myself
being friends with my friends partner or the other couple as individuals I could spend time
alone with that person I could hold a conversation alone with that person each person should be
comfortable with the other three people individually and then that way there's no awkwardness like
when you are out because sometimes you'll like naturally fall into conversations with just one
individual and if the other two people aren't comfortable with each other then it's like pretty
weird for them to and that awkwardness does influence the overall environment that the four of us
are in right so making sure that everyone is comfortable with each other on an individual level
is very important I guess like to help with that one factor I'm thinking of is like similar
sense of humor for sure I think one of the like easy things to bond over especially with like
new partners is poking fun at your friend right like oh is the no-no-no-ing how so-and-so does
this or like do you ever notice that like without trying to cause like drama just something to be
like oh yeah you know I have noticed that just like oh yeah no this person has done that for a long
time but then on the flip side like it's also could be an endearing call it like it opens the
conversation up to be like bonding over what you like about your friends then romantically you
put on a clean and also the things that you just know from hanging out with this person for a long time
and then dating them for however they along they are dating so yeah same sense of humor like they're
on board with that then it's really easy but sometimes if they're not you're just like oh no what
do I do now I just feel like I insult in their significant honor yeah there's nothing more awkward
than like a dinner of four people and then three people are laughing and the other one is like
wait what I know yeah how do you recover from that situation I think you just move on eject
I think the more I think about it what you said makes total sense maybe the sign of what makes a
really good double date is it doesn't feel super double-dirty and it more so feels like oh we're
just for people who like each other's company and enjoy hanging out and it feels less formal less
like we are on this for the purpose of a double date and it's just in general better vibes so I
think it makes sense that all four people should be able to consider each other like friends at the
very least I think another good thing to have is a shared interest just because that could be the
double-day activity itself and if you know if conversation starts to die you can at least
pull from that shared interest and like get things going again true that's why I really like for
if I'm actually planning like a double date to do something that is activity like interactive
acts throwing I think I've said many golf like a lot of times spent like our cake the arcade
or even just something like I don't know pottery making tuffing when you've just run out of things to
say like just being like okay now it's time to focus on the thing that we came here to do is like a
very easy way to just fill in the spaces between the conversation I think just one last mini-quality
that I have is balance so I feel like the couple has to feel balanced where it's not just like
you're hanging out with one person of other person as an add-on like you have to feel like you're
hanging out with both people and then also the two couples should also feel balanced like it's
two units kind of equally hanging out rather than feeling like it's leaning one way or another
which I feel like it's kind of abstract but then once you're in a double date that doesn't feel
balanced I feel like you can totally feel that like lack of equilibrium yeah and I think that tends
to happen with like one relationships are newer because the other couple is still like or maybe
it could be your own relationship right but you're still you're still getting to know each other
and on top of getting to know your own partner you're also trying to get to know their friends
right so it is it is pretty hard to do but that comes really that balance that you're sensing I
find comes very very naturally with couples that are already established right like they're already
secure with who they are individually and as a couple so that is a good quality to have but I don't
know how you can suss that out without talking to them and already interacting with them but I
guess you're like already on the double date yeah yeah you're like oh shit I guess the only
indication is just like length of relationship pretty safe to assume that these people have been
together for a while that it would be easy to approach them as a couple as well I think also if like
maybe you know three out of four of that double date has already hung out and had a good time
then it increases the chances because they're like okay what's one more to add to the equation
you know hopefully if we all just you know try hard to like to be friendly and to be inclusive
then it'll be like most likely better results than worse ones true well this has been such an
interesting conversation I feel like I'm looking at double dates way more analytically now
before we started recording but in a good way like I think double dates are a really great
opportunity to get to know people get to know your friend better or your friends asso better etc so
thank you for sharing your tips and your personal perspectives on double dates and for any of our
listeners out there if you have any tips that we didn't mention any activity ideas etc then feel
free to hit us up we have instagram at e-earcrustpod and we also have email e-earcrustpod at gmail.com
and don't forget to follow us on Spotify Apple Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts
we upload new episodes every Wednesday morning thanks for listening and don't forget to eat your crust
