As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you.
Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love.
I forgive myself. It's okay.
Have great videos. You're trying your best, and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing.
Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before, listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is don't agree to something that you will be grouchy about later.
For the happiness of your future self, and for the sake of your relationship with the person who is making the request, you may be better off declining.
As I recently heard it put, don't consent and resent.
So in our personal and professional lives, probably all of us have agreed to things that we know we aren't going to be happy about.
You may also have had a partner or colleague consent to a request of yours, and then found yourself on the receiving end of what feels like unfair resentment.
The person said yes, but clearly didn't mean it.
And now they are going to extract revenge in the form of being impossible to be around.
So how do you avoid consenting and resenting?
Sometimes we are not in a great position to decline a proposal.
If your boss assigns you to a project you aren't thrilled with, you may just need to go along with it.
But other times you may be able to compromise, or at least reach a place where you won't be bitter about saying yes.
For instance, maybe your partner wants to host people at your home, which sounds fine, but you know that you often get stuck with the lion's share of the extra cleaning involved in making a home company ready.
You can explain to your partner that you will resent having to do all that.
So if your partner would like you to be happy about hosting people, you will need to split the list of work that you come up with.
Sometimes we may actually be able to decline a proposal.
Fun fact, you don't have to make your life harder to accommodate everybody else.
This is where the phrase of don't consent and resent seems especially helpful.
Maybe your friend wants to move your planned lunch date from Monday to Tuesday, but you know that Tuesday is completely packed with meetings.
While adding a lunch date would theoretically be possible, it means you'd be rushing all day and likely need to stay late to get your work done.
If that is the case, don't agree to move the lunch and then resent that you moved lunch from a time that was inconvenient for your friend to a time that was inconvenient for you.
Say you can't do it.
You'll either have to find another day that is convenient for both of you or possibly do a 30 -minute Zoom lunch so you don't have to leave your office or switch to drink some evening.
But since you have a voice in the decision, you don't need to consent to a plan that you will end up resenting.
Are you worried what your friend will think?
I mean, maybe, but here's the thing.
Resentment can poison relationships.
You may feel in the moment that consenting is the agreeable and nice thing to do, but if you are going to be in a bad mood about it and be angry at your friend, that is going to come across as pretty disagreeable.
You might actually do better with protecting the relationship by not introducing a source of bitterness.
So don't consent and resent.
You're much better off if you reach a plan that everyone can live with.
Then you can implement the plan with a cheerful spirit.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most.
Of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura, at lauravandercam .com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you.
Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love.
I forgive myself. It's okay.
Have great videos that you're trying your best, and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing.
Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
