Hey Story Pirates Podcast listeners, Peter here.
Today we have a brand new story for you that is as fun as it is confusing.
And it features dogs.
Lots of dogs. And literally hundreds of barks.
So many barks that you may ask yourself, could they put in any more barks?
And the answer will always be yes.
All that coming up after a few words for the grownups.
We want to hear your kids new year's resolutions.
We'll be sharing resolutions from kids on our social media.
So if your kid has created one, whether serious or totally silly, we want to hear from you.
Fill out our story submission form at storypirates .com slash podcast or DM us on Instagram.
I love Story Pirates.
I'm very different from everybody.
Confusion is the step for curiosity.
Okay, that's a really funny idea.
We have to send that in.
And then like they can make a whole universe.
I believe all the things in that story.
Human beings are just able to create.
The Story Pirates. Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast.
One of the most fun things about writing a story can be coming up with your own world.
You get to make the rules about every single thing in that world.
Who lives there, what they do all day, what the weather is like, the terrain, the seasons, and more.
Sometimes people call this world building.
And today's news story has a ton of it.
All about a brand new world called Doglandia.
Here's the author to introduce it.
Hi, my name's Sloma.
I'm nine years old and I'm from Illinois.
Oloyemoy Preacher Doglandia.
That means this is my story Doglandia in Serbian.
Remember Hun, we cannot get distracted this time.
We are at the mall to pick up school supplies and then maybe pick up a soft pretzel as a treat, or maybe a soft pretzel first and then school supplies.
No jokes. This is serious.
Once people hear about how cheap the crayons are at the mall, we'll never find parking again.
We have to get in, get out.
Got it. Oh, cinnamon sugar.
Concentrate. Now, where is that crayon store?
Crate store, carton store, cartoon store, crawfish store.
What's this? Doglandia?
That's right. And whoa, baby, do I have an offer for you.
Come on down to Doglandia, the coolest place in the galaxy.
We got deals, deals, deals, and dogs, dogs, dogs.
So come on down to Doglandia, where the dogs are out of this world.
Uh, sorry, we're not interested.
We're actually looking for crayons.
Have you seen any? Crayons who needs them.
We've got dogs up high.
We've got dogs down low.
So come down to Doglandia, the coolest place in the galaxy.
We've got all the dogs you can name.
And some that you can't.
But don't just take my word for it, trust our billions of satisfied customers.
Billions? Are you an animal shelter or like a dog breeder?
No, and quit asking.
We're Doglandia. We're our own thing.
We're the coolest place in the galaxy.
I get that. I just don't really understand what this is.
Or who you are. Me?
Why, I'm King Mutt.
And just because I know this is the question on your lips and mine, yes!
Doglandia does accept cash card, traveler's checks and paypal.
I didn't have that question.
Let's go, hon. We have crayons to buy.
Now hold on a minute.
Let's hear this dog dressed in a blazer out.
But the longer we listen to this, the further away the crayons get.
I think he's getting to the end of his pitch anyway.
Not even close, pal.
You got somewhere to be?
We do actually. We've got crayons to buy.
Thank you and goodbye.
Wait! There's so much more to say about Doglandia!
Now that that's over we can start to look for the crayons.
Oh look! The pretzel store!
It's on our way. We may as well stop.
Fine, but let's get in and get out.
Yes! You won't regret this.
Uh, yes. Hello. Could we get two soft pretzels, please?
Did someone say pretzels?
Because I heard dogs!
And if you want dogs, you gotta come down to Doglandia!
You work here too? I work everywhere, buddy.
I'm King Mutt and at Doglandia, we've got cool dogs.
We've got shoe dogs.
We have two dogs. And many, many more.
Is that dog riding a skateboard?
Are those dogs playing basketball?
No! That they are, my friend, and if you want to come on down to Doglandia, the prices are cheap, cheap, cheap, and the dogs are cool, cool, cool.
If you act right now, now, now, I will throw in a free pair of dog sunglasses, guaranteed to turn any poodle into a real cool doodle.
So take a load off, rest those weary paws, and come on down to the coolest place in the galaxy.
Rest those weary paws?
Is this business for dogs or for dog owners?
That's for you to decide.
I bear no legal responsibility.
What is Doglandia's business model?
Our business model is that we've got $10.
We've got $20. We've got $30.
We've got $40. We've got $5.
We've got $50. We have dogs all over the world.
That's too many dogs.
Not a Doglandia! We've got more dogs than you could possibly know what to do with, and because it's Labor Day weekend, if you come down to Doglandia right this second, you can go home with 10 dogs for free.
We live in a two bedroom apartment.
I live in a big palace because I'm King Mutt.
Where are you getting these dogs?
We've got Spanish dogs.
We've got English dogs.
We have Indian dogs.
We have Serbian dogs.
We have French dogs.
We have polyglot dogs.
What does polyglot mean?
A polyglot dog is a dog that can speak many languages.
French, Spanish, Mandarin, Dalmatian, etc.
Why would I even want that?
Why wouldn't you? If you're heading out on a European vacation, you've got to get your dog to translate for you.
How do we find Doglandia?
Stop encouraging him.
Doglandia is where your dogs can rest.
It's where your dogs can eat.
They can even have a house of their own.
There is even a palace where the king lives.
Guess who the king is?
Yeah, you're right.
It's me, Bark. Oh. So Doglandia is a place for dogs to rest and relax.
Like a dog spa. Don't reduce Doglandia to just one thing, pal.
Her King Mutt does not appreciate that.
That's it. I've had enough.
Look, mister, I am sure that Doglandia is filled with wonderful things and services that work either for us or for dogs.
You still have a total switch and all the deals.
Deals, deals, deals.
Sounds great. I guess.
But we don't need anything.
Not from you. Not ever.
Now, can you tell us how to get to the Crayon Store or not?
Because if you can't, we're outta here.
Oh, it's over there.
Thank you. Come on, Sarah.
We're going to the Crayon Store.
I just have one more quick question about the skateboarding dogs.
No, you don't. Come on.
What do I have more to say about dogs?
Oh, look, here's the Crayon Store.
Finally. Oh. We've made it.
Excuse me. Crayon Store employee who's back is turned to me.
What sort of Crayons do you have?
Did someone say dog?
You again. What is happening?
Here at Doglandia, we've got dogs, dogs, dogs.
We're the coolest place in the galaxy.
We've got spy dogs.
We've got high dogs.
We've got my dogs. And yours.
Swarky? How did you get our dogs?
I am King Mutt. What?
So just come on down to Doglandia, the coolest place in the galaxy.
No. That's it. I promise you this, King Mutt.
I will never go to Dogland.
If you come on down to Doglandia in the next two minutes, I'll toss in these promotional Crayons.
Crayons? Honey, take the deal.
No way. Times are ticking.
This offer won't last forever.
Honey, we came here to get Crayons.
This dogman king person holding a 50 -page contract is giving us that chance.
Oh, you don't need to bother reading the terms and conditions.
So, I think you need to get over it and get us some Crayons.
Fine. King Mutt, you've got yourself a deal.
Woohoo! Let's shake on it.
Give me your paw. And sign here.
And there. And just initial there.
And there. You two.
Okay, both of you. And in the corner here, just draw a little picture of a dog.
Okay, there. So, do we get a dog now?
Or are you gonna take care of our dogs?
Or are we dogs now?
And where are the Crayons?
Uh... Uh... Um... Woah!
Look at that dog! Scootty -doo!
Hey, there was no dog over.
Hey, where'd he go?
He's gone. King Mutt!
Oh, can we get a pretzel?
No! The end. And now, Lee speaks with the author.
Hi Paloma. Hello. How are you?
Good. Did you do anything interesting today?
I made, like, a cardboard doghouse.
Because I have a new stuffed animal named Bubbles.
Okay, so, doglandia is not something that just exists in your story.
You're actually living in doglandia.
Literally, in my school, we have different types of landia.
Like, it's a whole thing.
Can you say more about that?
My landia was the first -ever landia.
And then my friend Maisie said that she wanted to have another landia and she asked for permission if she could make another landia.
And I said yes. And then landia just became a whole thing.
So you started the landia trend.
Yeah, like, there was gummy bear landia, hot dog landia, wolf landia, red panda landia, everything you can imagine landia.
So in your story about doglandia, it kind of sounds like a commercial for doglandia.
Is that how you were thinking about it?
Yeah, something like that.
What inspired you to write your story in that way?
For me, I'm like, I want the listeners from Story Pirates to have landias.
And then they can play with other kids.
And then they can make a whole universe because there is a whole universe.
In our imaginations, there's as many landias and universes as we want.
Yeah. For the first part of the story, we don't know who's saying all these things about doglandia.
And then at the end of your story, it's revealed that it's the king of doglandia.
And I am the king of doglandia.
So this is you, Paloma, speaking in the story?
Yeah. Also known as king Doggo.
How does doglandia run?
Is there any aspects of democracy in the way that this land works?
In doglandia, there's fairness.
If there are like three cookies and one dog, like one dog is bigger and has the cookies, then it's like, okay, you're bigger, which means you only get a crumb, and then everybody else gets the cookies.
Oh, interesting. So the Society of Doglandia favors smaller dogs?
Yeah. In your story, it honestly sounds like doglandia is kind of utopia.
But it seems like there's also some controversial elements here.
I wonder how the big dogs feel about the way they're being treated in doglandia as opposed to smaller dogs.
Yeah. But the big dogs also get jobs, too.
They get big jobs since they're big.
And the small dogs, they have smaller dogs, but if the small dogs didn't exist, that would have a huge impact on doglandia, like everything would crumble.
Wow. You've thought a lot about this.
Yes, I have. Are you going to keep building out your landia?
Or how will you know when it's finished and fully realized?
I don't know. I think it's already finished.
I have a question for you.
My question is, what landia would you have?
I think my landia would be musiclandia.
Yeah, nobody has owned that one yet.
Can I officially own musiclandia then?
Hmm. Yeah, you can.
Yeah! Wow. That was really suspenseful.
But like, if you want to like, officially, officially, officially own it, then you just have to, let's see, sign a few papers.
All right, send them over.
Okay, be it. Paloma, I love your story so much.
Thank you for letting us perform it.
Yes. Thank you. Bye.
Bye. We'll be right back after a few words for the grown -ups.
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Hey, listeners, today's episode is sponsored by the upcoming streaming series Skeleton Crew, a new Star Wars adventure from Lucasfilm and Disney Plus.
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And now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call.
We read them all. We read them all.
You know we love them.
We love them for Story Pirates Roll Call.
Our first story comes to us from Kobe and Cyrus from Idaho.
And their story is called The Pinecone That Wanted to Be a Cowboy, literally.
Now, I love this story because repeatedly throughout the story, the pinecone goes around and says, I want to turn into a cowboy, literally.
This pinecone says it one, two, three, four times.
Maybe I literally want to be a cowboy.
And it wasn't until the very end of the story that I realized how literal Kobe and Cyrus meant this.
I'm going to spoil it.
The end goes like this, then poof.
He turned into a cowboy, literally.
Said Jeff, a boy who's a cow, literally.
He was right there in front of me the whole time.
And I was thinking, Yeehaw, cowboy, but it's Moo Moo, cowboy, boy, cow.
Although technically a cow is, you know what, never mind.
This story's perfect.
Great job, you two.
Our next story comes from a six -year -old from Massachusetts named Vivian.
And Vivian's story is called The Everlasting Chicky Story.
I got to say, this story has one of the most exciting action -packed beginnings to a story.
It really just gets into it.
Let me read the beginning for you.
How does the chicken lay its egg?
Well, maybe this story will answer your questions.
Once there was a hen named Henny.
One day she was walking around with her hen friends until splat onto the ground came an egg.
Suddenly it happened to all her friends.
Eggs were everywhere.
All of the hens looked at them curiously and pecked them open and chicks came out.
Then Santa appeared, making everything more confusing for the frazzled hens.
Then they all started cheering Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
That's just the beginning.
Is there more Christmas chanting?
Yeah, a lot of it. There's a lot of partying, a lot of chanting.
And at the end, the whole world went to the North Pole and built houses and lived happily ever after together.
What? Now that, Vivian, is an everlasting chickie story.
Bravo. Our final story comes from a nine -year -old from Delaware named Maya.
And Maya's story, continuing the holiday theme, is called a Thanksgiving story.
Whereas the chickie story had a lot of chanting of Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
This story starts with, I'm not kidding, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving.
Maya, did you plan this with Vivian?
Sending holiday chanting stories?
Now, what I love about Maya's story is what a clever reveal there is as to who it is that's telling the story.
Let me read the beginning for you until that revelation is revealed.
Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving.
I had no idea what the word meant, but it was everywhere.
The farmer, his wife, their three children, everyone was talking about it.
I decided to ask the farm car what it was and settle this.
He broke into a fit of laughing when I asked.
You're such a turkey, he howled.
I stared down at my feathers, beak and tail.
Well, you're right about that, I said confused.
Oh, I think we all know where this is going.
Or do we? You'll have to read Maya's story to find out.
Incredible job, Maya.
To read all of today's Roll Call stories, head to storypirates .com slash podcast.
Now it's time for you to write us a story.
Grownups can submit kids stories at storypirates .com.
And remember, we respond to every single story we receive.
That was roll call.
That's it for today's episode.
Thanks for listening and a big thanks to Paloma, today's author.
We'll be back next week with another brand new story.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
Bye! The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Sulka.
This episode was produced by Sam Bear, Makenna Cox, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Overtree.
Recording, sound design and mixing by Sam Bear at the Relic Room in New York City.
Theme song by Bobby Lord, Roll Call theme by Andrew Barbato.
Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell and Eric Kirsten.
Our head writers are Rachel Winooski and David Sidorov.
Doglandia was adapted by Dylan Fugel.
Production coordination by Denise Wortenby.
Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
Today's episode featured performances by...
Chris Ferry, Caroline Lux, Peter McNerney, and Austin Sanders.
You know, I really do think today's episode had the maximum amount of barks in it.
There couldn't possibly be any more barks in this episode.
Oh hey, what's inside this random box I just found?
I'll just open it and...
AHHH! I was wrong. AHH!
AHH!
