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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is when you are unsure how to show kindness to someone, consider reciprocating the kindness they have already shown to you.
So kids are often taught to treat others the way that they would like to be treated.
That is the so -called golden rule.
And there's real wisdom in this.
If you don't want your classmate to knock over your block tower, you shouldn't knock over his block tower.
As we get older, we may aspire to go beyond the golden rule and treat other people the way that they want to be treated.
Even if that is different from the way we would want to be treated in their position.
This makes sense because if you think about it, the golden rule can feel a little self -referential.
The grandmother who receives a glow -in -the -dark baseball from her 8 -year -old grandson may be charmed that he clearly gave her what he wanted for himself.
But how much more mature when that child 10 years later figures out what his grandmother actually wants and gives her that.
Of course, the hard part of all of this is knowing how another person wants to be treated.
It is very hard to get out of our own heads.
This is why people buy other people's sweaters in their own favorite colors, I mean, which you clearly see as a great color, and then are mystified when the other person doesn't wear it.
It is even harder to get out of our own heads on more weighty matters.
So if you are not sure how someone wants to be treated, one hint is how they have treated you.
Your friend who gives you stationery for your birthday every year might appreciate stationery for her birthday.
I mean, she clearly thinks stationery is a great gift.
The cousin who texts you on your late mother's birthday every year might appreciate your reaching out to her to remember her late brother's birthday.
I mean, she clearly believes that honoring birthdays for loved and departed family members is important, which is why she does this.
So you can do the same unto her, even if you aren't the sort of person who actually cares all that much about dates.
Your colleague who asks about your weekend every Monday morning would probably value an invitation to tell you about his weekend.
So ask. Your spouse who buys you a jokey card for every holiday, birthday, Christmas, your anniversary, Valentine's Day, Groundhog's Day, might appreciate you are getting him funny cards too.
After all, he is showing you that he thinks this is a great way to spread levity in life.
So no doubt he will think you are being very insightful when you do the same thing.
Often, the kindnesses people show toward us offer a window into the kindnesses they themselves value.
It can be hard to know what people want.
But if we assume that most people act according to what they think matters and is valuable and is helpful, then what they do shows us what they want done.
It really is as simple as that.
In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
And here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam .com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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Hey, I'm Jay Shetty.
My latest episode is with financial expert, Scott Galloway.
If you're doing a lot of side hustles, it's very, very difficult to be great at your main hustle.
The only way you're going to build real wealth and economic security is to go all in on one thing.
That is greatness. Focus.
Scott is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business.
Scott Galloway. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
