This is an all ears English bonus episode.
Did you get my email?
The gentle nudge method in English.
Welcome to the all ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
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What do you do if someone doesn't reply to your business email?
How can you avoid the awkwardness but get the response you need?
Today we feature an episode from our new Business English podcast.
Listen in to build your career English today.
Hey, Aubrey, how's it going today?
I am great, Lindsay.
I'm so excited about this.
We have something very exciting today, right?
Oh, my gosh.
We are super excited to announce, guys.
Today, we're going to be sharing an episode from our brand new podcast.
What is our new podcast all about, Aubrey?
Yes, it's a business English podcast from All Ears English.
We have hand selected business English episodes that are so useful if you work in English, so you can have them all in the same place.
Yes, I know, guys, on All Ears English, you listen four days a week.
We publish so many episodes but sometimes it can be hard to find the ones that are super relevant for business, like talking to your colleagues doing negotiations meetings, presentations.
So, Aubrey, where can they go to find the podcast now before we even play today's episode?
Yes, go right now to your search bar wherever you listen to podcasts and type in All Ears English.
You'll see all three shows.
Find Business English and hit follow right now.
Yes, I love that.
Guys, go and get it.
Now, in this episode that we're sharing today from the Business English podcast, we are talking about the gentle nudge method.
Yes.
Right.
Lindsay, do you ever have to send a second email if someone doesn't respond and something's pretty urgent?
Yes, occasionally I do.
And I always feel bad doing it.
So you know, sometimes I'll write back and I'll say hey, just pushing this to the top of your inbox.
But I reserve that method for very, very desperate, for situations where I need an answer on something right away.
Right,
Yes, you guys, I'm excited.
You are going to see how a very seemingly simple word like just can make a huge difference in eliminating that awkwardness that you're feeling.
Lindsay right.
This is a very vital skill.
Yes, it's really interesting because on a previous episode of Business English Podcast, we talked about the use of just where we don't always want to use it.
Right.
But this is a good example where it does make sense and it's strategic.
So after you have hit follow on Business English guys go back and listen to the other episodes in that podcast to get more about just in business email.
So good.
Awesome.
All right.
Let's share the episode and then we'll chat with you about it after.
All right, here we go.
Hey, Michelle.
How are you doing today?
Hey, Lindsay.
I'm doing really well.
How are you?
I'm good, but my email inbox is looking not so good, I have to say.
It's very full.
Oh, no.
I know.
It's so hard to keep up with email these days, isn't it, Michelle?
Yeah, I sometimes even have a hard time, like, with text messages.
Not that I'm so popular that I get a million, but sometimes like yeah, it's just email or things by text, just like ugh.
Yeah, it starts to get really stressful, right?
And I feel like sometimes I'm buried under a pile of stuff when I start to get these emails.
It's like I have to dig myself out.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah.
The worst is, if I mean, if you don't check it for a little while and you come back and it's like oh no no, I know.
And a lot of these emails like you can't respond right away because you have to think about it and then you forget that the person's waiting and it's just really bad.
Right.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So today we want to help our listeners, if they are in this situation, to figure out what to do if they've sent an email to someone and that person is buried under lots of emails and they don't hear back.
Right.
Because.
Yeah, that's going to be frustrating, too, if you're on the other end.
It can be because you wonder if the person even got your email.
That's the first thing.
Right.
Because maybe it was important.
I mean, I actually some emails I actually miss.
Like, I'm pretty sure something's wrong with my email and I don't get all my emails.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, Michelle, how do we do it?
What do we have to think about first when we go to send that second email, to check in and see if the person got it?
I mean, what should we think about?
Yeah.
Well, this is, yeah, for like a follow-up email, right?
It's really gosh.
You have to think about so much and so much can be.
I mean, I think it can be stressful when I'm sending one.
Yeah.
But I think that you have to think about, right, what's your relationship with that person?
Is it a business relationship?
Yeah.
Right?
Or is it just a friend of yours?
Or how close is the friend?
Is it your husband?
Is it your best friend?
Or is it like someone that you've kind of met once or twice and you think you're going to be friends?
Something like that.
So you want to think about your relationship.
And you also want to think about like...
Right.
Because you want to avoid being annoying or putting pressure on the person.
Right.
Yeah.
So Lindsay and I were talking and we came up with something that we are going to call the gentle nudge method.
I like it.
So what is a nudge, Lindsay?
What is a nudge?
Well, when we talk about the physical movement of a nudge, it's just a slight bump.
When we take our arm and we touch the person, just a tiny, just to get their attention.
Right, Michelle?
Right, right.
Yeah.
I wish we could demonstrate.
I wish we were on video right now.
A little nudge, just a nudge.
A little nudge, a little nudge.
So, yeah, but in this context where, you know, obviously we're not talking about physically, but...
You know, this idea of just kind of giving somebody a little reminder, a little tap, right?
Just a reminder.
And again, time is really key.
Relationship and time are two big keys to this to make sure that it's done right.
So you don't come off as that nagging person, right?
Nagging to nag.
I like that verb.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
To just bother over and over and you become irritating.
Irritating.
And the person doesn't want to talk to you again.
And maybe they'll just eliminate you and completely ignore you.
Right.
If they can.
So you don't want to do that.
You want to maintain the connection.
Right.
Right.
But you also need to be somewhat direct.
So how the question is, obviously, our listeners know this in their native languages.
Right.
But the question is, how do we do it in English?
Yeah.
So good question.
I hope we can answer our own question today, Michelle.
I think so, for sure, for sure.
So what are some things we can say?
I mean, what is the key word here that could be useful?
OK well, the key word here and it's interesting because we've talked about this before, but the key word here is just
I know.
And we have talked about this before.
We did an episode on emails, words you should eliminate from your emails.
And I think just was one of them.
So we're totally confusing our listeners here.
I mean, what's going on, Michelle?
Right.
Exactly.
It can be confusing, but it's interesting because you know we talk about using eliminating just as a way to sound more confident and more direct.
Right.
But here in this context, because it's a follow up email.
Yes.
I think that just can come in handy.
Yes, you don't want to sound like you're not confident or like you're shy.
But at the same time you do want to take away from the directness a little bit, just because it's the second email, right?
Exactly.
I agree.
Exactly.
This is a way, using just is a way to avoid coming off as nagging, right?
As nagging, as annoying them, as being intrusive because we're all busy, right?
And by saying just, you're recognizing that you are not the only thing in their lives.
Right.
Yes.
Right.
Exactly.
Okay.
So let's throw out some phrases here, Michelle.
What's the first one?
Okay.
So the first one you could say is, Hey, just checking in.
I emailed you last week.
Did you get my email?
Okay.
Very easy.
Very simple.
I think this one could be a little more professional potentially, maybe for a work colleague.
Good.
And yeah, good.
It's very... You could say, did you get my email?
You could also say, did you receive my email?
So sound a little bit more...
Right, right.
Yeah, exactly.
There are always words we can replace to go up a little bit, to sound a little more professional and buttoned up.
Yeah.
And another one.
Hey, I haven't heard back from you.
What's going on now, Michelle?
Is this one casual or more formal?
I would say this one is casual, right?
I would not write this to my boss.
Right.
What's going on?
What's going on?
Yeah, it's more and notice we're not using just here.
So it's more direct and it's more formal.
Right, right.
Absolutely.
Wait, it's more direct and it's less formal.
Oh, yeah.
Less formal.
Sorry.
I got confused there.
Okay.
What's another one that we could use, Michelle?
Okay.
So, for example, you could say, hi, I sent you an email last week about the party this weekend.
Hope you can make it.
Please let me know either way.
Yeah.
Let me know either way.
And that's just saying, hey, I want an answer.
Right, right.
Even if you can't make it, it's important that I know.
Yeah, exactly.
And you're saying, hope you can make it.
Hey, I'm thinking about you.
I want you to be there.
And please let me know either way, whether it's yes or whether it's no.
Please tell me.
Get back to me.
Right, right, right.
Absolutely.
And the other thing we can do, Michelle, is we can have a deadline, right?
So you know, a firm or a semi firm deadline like this, this gives people a little nudge and say and says Hey, you've got to tell me by a certain time.
How could we say that in English, Michelle?
Right.
So, for example, you could say like, I emailed you last week about the meeting on Friday.
If you could get back to me by this Wednesday, that would be great.
Yeah, exactly.
That would be great.
Right.
And that's often put in emails when you're asking someone to do something.
If you could do this, that would be great.
That's also another polite but kind of indirect way instead of saying, please do this or do this.
If you could do this, that would be great.
Okay.
Right.
It's interesting.
Gosh, if we could only write the way we're really thinking.
Right.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
You need to do this because I'm getting stressed out.
Yeah, well, it's kind of the way a kid would talk.
Right.
I mean, not in those terms, not so articulately.
But I was hanging out with my niece this past weekend because we were moving my brother to a new house.
And well, she's not talking yet.
So actually, she wasn't saying these things.
But I think in a year or so, you know, she'll be speaking her mind very directly.
But I wonder at what point we start to posture and we start to kind of use these phrases to, to not try to offend or to
And I think it's you know, there are good parts of this and bad parts of it.
Like we can't have a society functioning if we're all just being kind of rude to each other.
But in some ways, I wish we would be a little bit more direct.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Like I'm thinking yeah, now you made me think of my nephew, because he's talking a lot and he says I don't want this.
I don't want this.
And it's so funny because he was with my parents over the weekend.
And they said and he is the sweetest little boy in the world, but he's also very, very young, still right?
So he doesn't know.
So my mom said to him, Oh, do you want to talk to Aunt Michelle?
And he just goes, no.
I know.
I know.
And so imagine if adults acted the way kids act.
Right.
Right.
So it's just kind of funny to think about because you know we we do a lot of I use the phrase beating around the bush.
Right.
Which means which means what, Lindsay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which means just not being direct.
Right.
You're going around the topic and you're hoping that people respond and understand.
And this is done to a greater extent in different cultures.
Right.
You know, when I spent time in Japan, I noticed there was a lot of indirect communication and there's a lot of hoping that someone gets the point.
That was my understanding.
Right.
Seems a little bit less direct.
Right.
But again, I was only there for a year and a half and we have a lot of Japanese listeners and we would love to have you guys chime in on that.
So you know, I think that the way a message is delivered can vary across cultures, of course, especially with this key second email.
When you need to know, you need to hear back from the person.
Right, right.
Exactly.
Well, that's the hardest part.
It's like you know, it's one thing if it's a casual email and it's like oh, you know, you'll hear it back eventually.
But it's another thing if you have a deadline or like something you actually need to know.
Yeah, exactly.
That's when it can get frustrating.
And, you know, and then we were just really quick.
We said we...
Like how long do you wait before you send that second email?
Oh, yeah.
Good question.
Yeah, we didn't answer that.
I mean, I think this is really a personal choice.
Like it depends on the relationship.
It depends on the task, the issue that you're trying to accomplish.
Right.
I mean, how long do you wait?
I mean, again, I think, yeah, like you said, it depends.
But for example, like if I send my husband an email or something like that and he doesn't get back to me by the end of the day, I'm going to be like hey, what's going on?
You know, because that's my husband.
Right.
But in a professional situation, I might wait two or three days.
I mean, if I work with that person, right?
Yeah.
But if it's somebody that I don't know, like a cold email or just trying to get in touch with someone randomly, then I'd probably wait a week.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think it just depends on what you're trying to get done and the whole context, and have you talked to the person before?
So that's really a personal choice.
But to consider the time.
Right.
And, most importantly, to consider the language that we're using here, so we can again maintain the connection and not break the connection, not lose the connection.
It's very easy.
You know, with email it's very easy to be misunderstood.
Yeah, oh gosh, oh my god.
We could do another episode on that michelle, the dangers of emailing and texting and how it's so easy for people to misunderstand you, i mean.
One thing that i've stopped doing in my text messages is i'm not using exclamation points anymore.
I just totally stopped because I don't like the way it comes off.
It comes off as too kind of flaky in my mind and, like always happy, and I just want to be a little bit more direct and confident.
So I've totally eliminated exclamation points in my text messages.
Oh, boy.
So I think we could do a whole episode on this, because I'm an exclamation point, big fan of exclamation points.
But actually, I've had to go through emails and delete exclamation points.
Lindsay, I'm sure if you go through our emails you'll see that you use an exclamation point like almost every sentence.
Well, it starts to lose its meaning, right?
When we do that.
So I actually do go back through and I don't delete everyone.
I like a little bit.
I do like a little bit of an exclamation point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I do have to go through and sometimes my husband's like, did you read what you just wrote?
You just use like four exclamation points.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, no, we have to comment down there with the exclamation points.
But yeah.
Anyways, we're on a little tangent here.
So what were we saying?
If our listeners listen to our episode on tangents, I can say, so Michelle, what were we saying?
Yep.
Or anyways.
Anyways Michelle, let's just recap these phrases for our listeners, and then we'll let our listeners get on to their busy days.
So what are some phrases they can use?
What's the first one again?
Okay.
Okay.
Hey, just checking in.
I emailed you last week.
Did you get my email?
Yeah.
And the second one was, hey, I haven't heard back from you.
What's going on?
Right.
And that one's more casual.
And the next one is, hi, I sent you an email last week about the party this weekend.
I hope you can make it.
Please let me know either way.
Good.
And with a deadline, you know, I emailed you last week about the meeting on Friday.
If you could get back to me by Wednesday, that would be great.
OK.
Awesome, Lindsay.
Good job.
Michelle, I think we've given our listeners some great phrases.
Again, if you guys have any questions, come back to our website, come back to this blog post.
And this is number, what is this, Michelle?
Number 435.
So come on back to allearsenglish.com and type 435 in the search bar and leave us a comment.
Thanks, guys, for hanging out today.
Thank you, Lindsay.
This is great.
Okay, talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.
Bye-bye.
All right, Aubrey, that was crazy.
It's amazing how one simple word like just can make such a big difference.
Yes.
And to know those three tips things to think about your relationship, the timing and how can you get the result you need without nagging.
We all have to think about that.
How can I do this without sounding naggy?
Yes, this could be really awkward.
It could be a very awkward situation again, especially if something is urgent for you and they don't know that it's urgent.
Right.
So guys, take today's advice to heart and don't be afraid to send that email, but send it the right way.
Right, Aubrey?
Yes, exactly right.
You need to have the language and the skills you need to get the message across, but maintain that connection.
Definitely.
I love it.
So guys go right now to get more from the business English podcast.
Again, all of the episodes on this show are all about business socializing and small talk in business presentations meetings, negotiations and everything we need for a successful career.
Aubrey, how can we find it?
Yes, go to your search bar, type in All Ears English.
You'll see all three of our shows.
Find Business English and hit follow right now.
All right, fantastic.
We'll see you guys over there and stay here at All Ears English for four new episodes every single week.
Good stuff, Aubrey.
I'll talk to you soon.
Yep, see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to all ears English.
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