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Okay, let's get started.
Okay, knock it off you two.
Hi, Mike.
Welcome to the show.
Well, thank you very much.
Thank you for having me.
Hello, Mike.
It's good to talk to you.
Tell us, Mike, where are you talking to us from right now?
Where are you in the world?
I am in Lake Placid, New York, up in the Adirondack Mountains.
I don't know if you've been here before, but it's a beautiful spot.
I've been here for about 20 years.
I'm raising three wonderful kids and I get to work out in the woods of the Adirondack Mountains all day.
This sounds kind of perfect.
I have been up to Lake Placid.
And of course, Lake Placid, am I correct?
Is that the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid?
1980 and 1932.
Yes.
Okay.
I wasn't around for that one.
Potentially 2026 for the sliding sports.
We're going to find out.
I just got the word about that.
It's not happening.
I'm the first one they talk to.
The sliding sports?
Yeah, I'll tell you later.
It's a whole thing.
I'm on the board.
Oh, those.
Yeah, the sports where you lay still and gravity does it all.
Oh, come on.
Well, I'm sorry, but it is.
Just stay really still and you might get a gold medal.
Don't move.
Remember we just had a bobsledder on this?
Oh, yeah.
That guy was full of shit.
I stayed really still and I won.
Good for you, Bob's letter.
Look, this got off to a bad start and I apologize, Mike.
But I do think Lake Placid is a beautiful place and also home of the Adirondack chair.
I'm going to say the Adirondack chair is the best outdoor wooden chair one can have.
It gives you the most back support.
Hot take.
Yeah, that's my hot take.
So what's yours?
So I don't know very many others.
Okay, so Conan, why have you not used the Adirondack chair for the Subway S'mores then?
Well, we should have an Adirondack chair the next time we're outside, and I'm going to demand one.
And then I want to keep it at the end of the night, and I don't want to pay for it.
I want it to be courtesy of the Team Cocoa machine, which means basically it ends up coming out of my.
I know some people who make Adirondack chairs, so if you decide to go with it,
I just think that's a fantastic chair, the Adirondack chair.
Check it out.
It is, it is, it is.
Tell us, what do you do?
What is your profession?
How do you make your way in this cruel world?
About 10 years ago, I founded a company called The Forest Farmers.
We and my business partners, we own 10,000 acres of forest land here in the Adirondacks and Vermont.
And we collect sap from lots of different tree species and turn it into syrups and sugars and all sorts of beverages and delicious food.
So basically, let me cut to the chase.
You're in the maple syrup business.
Not just maple syrup, but other tree syrups as well, yes.
Maple syrup is our number one thing.
I didn't know there were other tree syrups.
What other tree syrups are there?
We do birch, beech and walnut, and there's another five species that we could do, but we're not in the right part of the country to do that.
Okay.
That's strange to me.
I mean, maple is the go-to.
And it's suddenly like you're saying oh no, there's another kind of Kleenex other than Kleenex.
There's Zorzabar tissues.
Yeah.
So describe what does it taste like?
How is it different beech from maple?
Or is that just an impossible thing to describe?
No, no.
So every different tree syrup tastes a little bit different.
Some are very different than others.
And it has to do.
You know a lot of types of sugars that are present in the sap and then how you boil it down.
Right, right.
Beach syrup tastes similar to maple, but with more like a raisiny fig type of complex to it.
I'm glad you asked this because actually we have a syrup taste test to do.
I have no palate.
Let's bring them in.
We have syrups here that we're going to try.
This is fantastic.
So I had sent syrups for each of the three chill chums.
So then you can each have a syrup.
Oh, look at this.
This looks like Jäger bombs.
That is each, you know... Oh, wait.
Should I wait till we do it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's wait.
Let's wait.
Okay, yeah.
You can take us through this, Mike.
Oh, I see.
Each one, I understand.
We don't each get a plate.
Each plate, yes.
So move the plates to the middle.
And so you have your birch, you have your maple.
What's that one right over there?
This is...
Pure maple.
Oh, man.
That's maple walnut.
There's a pure maple, which is the traditional one, and then a maple walnut.
Okay.
That one's for Gorley.
I think what we're going to do is.
I just want to have a few more questions before we start tasting, which is I know.
When I was a kid, I was tasting what I thought was syrup, but it wasn't.
It was the stuff that you get at the supermarket.
Basically, in the 60s and 70s, we were lied to.
What was I eating?
Not just the 60s and 70s.
We're continually being lied to.
The vast majority of people in the U.S., consume the fake stuff.
You know, the Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth, log cabin, all that stuff.
So Mrs. Butterworth is a liar, is what you're saying.
Does she not even exist?
Was she a real person?
I saw Mrs. Butterworth move on a kitchen table.
She's got to be real.
Yeah, I always assumed she was a very small person whose body was filled with syrup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next, you're going to say, you know, Eggo waffles aren't real waffles.
OK, that's let's not do that.
I'm sorry.
That's just slanderous.
That's like saying there's no Santa Claus conspiracy theorist.
So.
So anyway, that's just basically sugar.
And what what is it?
Well, it's corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup and an artificial maple flavoring.
And a bunch of preserves.
What happened to this country?
This country was founded on something important, and now we've lost our way.
But you're going to bring it back because you're talking about real syrups.
Well, Conan, I know you're a huge history buff.
You bet I am.
Civil war.
Not just civil war.
Don't pigeonhole me.
I know all histories.
Oh, no.
God, I think he got mad at me when I said not just civil war.
We lost his connection.
We'll get it back.
Don't worry.
It's a matter of time.
This is tough because I really want to drink these.
They look so good.
Let's start with the pure.
I know.
Let's start with the pure maple syrup.
Should we go ahead and do it?
No, no.
We're going to wait until he comes back, but we can at least distribute.
Okay.
Okay.
If I had access to this much syrup, I'd take a bath in it.
Oh, I don't think you would.
I'm going to keep that in.
I'm going to keep that in the podcast.
We're not recording anymore.
We are still recording.
It's not rolling, for sure.
It doesn't matter.
The fan's gone.
I'm going to put that part in.
This guy...
Up in the northern reaches of New York, who gets syrup out of a tree, his computer went down.
Big shock.
His computer is made of balsa wood.
It probably runs on sap.
You know, there's there's like a falcon.
What's that?
I'm reading this thing.
There's this is dark, robust maple syrup for Sona.
Since she is traditional and sweet.
Oh, that's so nice.
Oh, so these are each tailored to us.
Normal syrup that we make it on Earth.
Yeah, but we're all going to taste all of them, I think.
So the first one is the pure maple.
Can you read that again?
Yours is nutty.
Probably real nutty.
All right, well, listen.
This gentleman is not with us at the moment.
Can he hear us?
I don't think so.
He's not on yet.
Well, I just think this gentleman who we're talking to, Mike who makes the maple syrup, his connection has gone down.
Yeah.
Because I don't think they have Wi-Fi yet in Lake Placid, New York.
And that's going to cost them the Olympics if they can't get it together.
How will people luge without Wi-Fi?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's no way to luge.
You can't luge.
It's a no luge situation.
Um, why am i laughing?
So, you're laughing because the fumes from the syrup.
He'll be back anytime now and you know what?
I don't know who sets these things up, but i'm sure i cheated.
So is it eduardo who tests the signal?
It's a team effort, team effort.
I see.
Well, that's a nice way to throw people under the bus.
I didn't say who is on the team.
I said i'm part of the team.
Okay, don't worry about it and listen, you won't be blamed.
Aaron blair, sorry i'm For okaying a connection that isn't there.
Can't we send these people equipment?
Is there a way to get?
I took a sip.
Oh, you cheaters.
I know.
You're supposed to taste ahead of time.
I can't help it.
It's really good.
You should just take a little.
I play by the rules.
He's the older sibling on Christmas morning that won't let us go look at our gifts.
I know.
I remember those days.
Teacher, you forgot to give us homework assignment.
There he is.
Hey, you're back.
You're back.
I'm back.
Hey, you're good.
And listen, Mike, I want you to know that I take responsibility for that system going down.
And when I say I take responsibility, I mean my bad team.
I think you're going to blame it on Eduardo or Sona.
Yeah, it's Blay and Eduardo.
We call them Bled-Wardo.
Wow.
Bled-Wardo's a beast that screws everything up.
Okay, so we're about to taste the, which is the first one we're tasting?
Pure maple syrup.
Pure maple syrup.
And tell us, when was this harvested?
What's the best time to get that maple syrup?
Is it the winter?
Well, actually, the best time is right now.
We're in the middle of maple season.
Let's taste it right now.
No doubt about it, yes.
That's delicious.
Good God.
That is heaven.
That is so good.
That is so good.
The texture.
Oh my God.
It's just like Mrs. Butterworth.
There's something so wonderful about drinking out of a shot glass too.
Well, again, that feeds into your alcoholism.
It sure does.
I can't take too much of it straight.
Wow, Sona.
I know.
I don't know how you do it.
I just have a little taste.
I can't.
I'm a hummingbird.
I will just drink nectar.
That is fantastic.
That is, I mean, the taste, the texture.
Well, because it's not the fake stuff, right?
So the fake stuff is what people are used to.
But when you get the real thing, it's, you know, that much better.
Yeah.
Once you've had, hey, once I've had this, you can't go back, you know?
I can't go back.
You have two others to try, Conan.
All right.
What's the next one you want us to try?
There's maple walnut and then there's birch.
Well, okay.
Okay, so birch is much different than maple.
Maple walnut is very similar to maple.
It's just a little... Let's do that next.
I can't talk about it because you guys are supposed to.
Okay, let's do maple.
Are we supposed to clear our palate?
Like with some...
Oh, yeah.
Take a little water.
Just take a little sip of water.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
Yeah.
Let's read the description here.
Maple walnut syrup.
Matt's syrup is made from the sap of maple and walnut trees.
It's mostly sweet, but just a tad, just a tad, but nutty.
Excuse me.
I'm just reading what he wrote.
In honor of Professor Gourley.
Thank you, Mike.
Conan, you go screw.
Go screw.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, my.
Oh, I really love that.
I can taste the difference.
I can taste the walnut.
Oh, that is so good.
I love that you have the walnut, the walnutty.
It's got that just little nutty something.
Yeah, nuts.
That's for Gourley because everybody loves Gourley, right?
I passed around.
Who were you asking?
Thank you, Mike.
Were you chatting up a bear in the woods?
An elk come by?
It's like, I like Gorley.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I really got to say I love drinking myself there.
It's staying in there.
She's so thick.
She's thick.
Jesus, look at her go.
You're a monster.
I'm so happy.
You're not even drinking all of it.
I can't.
I can't take that much pure.
That's a lot of syrup, yeah.
I can't do it.
You don't need to drink it all.
I like to get little tastes.
No problem.
You're the person that goes to the wine tasting and just drains the whole bottle.
It's true.
And they say, you know, you spit in this barrel and then you drink out of the barrel.
Oh, this smells very different.
So, Conan, it's very different.
And this one is definitely for you, Conan.
This is for Conan since it's made from very tall white birch trees.
And the syrup has a reddish hue.
It is sweet and fruity, but slightly acidic with very unique flavors.
That is me.
This is a good description of me.
Wow.
Is Burt's Syrup going to catch on, do you think?
I hope so, if I have a great spokesperson.
Somebody doesn't like it.
Nope.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, my.
No.
This is me?
No, you're not supposed to have birch syrup on its own.
So I was going to try to warn you that people just don't drink birch syrup.
You wouldn't just drink a balsamic vinaigrette.
You know what I mean?
Okay, so it's used in cooking.
It's not like something you pour on pancakes and just take shots of.
I'm still going to drink it.
Why did you tell us that afterwards?
Well, because you cut me off and didn't let me say it.
You were so excited to drink yourself.
It was in glasses that were presented to us at a tasting.
So how did I fuck that up?
That's tangy.
It's a very common reaction.
But when you have birch syrup on salmon or pork or chicken, it is delicious.
Oh, I could see that.
It's how you use it.
You have to use it in cooking.
It's not something you would just drink.
Nobody would just drink, like I said, balsamic vinegar.
Yeah, you'd have to pour it into cups at a tasting and have it be the third thing you tasted for someone to accidentally drink it.
It's kind of accurate because you on your own, you're a lot.
But with me and Gorley, I see what's happening.
We compliment you.
The taste of Gorley was fantastic.
The taste of Sona was amazing.
And then when you two were quiet and we had a little bit of Conan, it was repellent.
It was sour.
It was always supposed to be slightly acidic. not, not fully acidic.
I wouldn't say that acidic is the only issue.
How's it selling the, the, the Bert syrup?
How's it, how's it going?
So yeah, the Conan one.
Don't, Let's move away from it.
That's the name.
Let's move away from that name.
Get it on the bottle.
Let's call it the Jordan.
It is... Let me do you a little favor here, pal.
I don't know much about business and such.
I would put 99.9% of your business into the two maples, the walnut maple and the regular maple.
I would try...
Would you have a facility where you make the birch?
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, blow it up.
Blow it up.
No, I'm just saying.
Just blow it up.
We do.
Big blow up.
Big blow it up.
Explosion.
We do put most of our effort into maple.
That is our number one thing.
Good, good.
Yes.
But the birch sap runs after maple and we have a lot of customers that do actually appreciate birch for its unique flavors, that use it in cooking.
There are lots of different chefs that use it.
I can imagine.
If you're grilling and baste that on there?
Oh, that'd be so good.
No ants would come around.
Anybody who just has it by itself.
It's not just something you normally just drink.
And then we also have a lot of people that buy it for just the sap as a beverage, because that's what's been used for centuries.
People drinking birch sap in the springtime is like a spring tonic.
It's delicious just as a sap right out of the tree.
Is that where birch beer comes from?
Birch beer.
There's lots of different types of birch beer, but the birch beer that came out of America was actually the distillate of sweet birch or black birch in Pennsylvania.
It has like an oil of wintergreen that's grown in the trees.
And that's what they made the birch beer from.
Okay.
Well, it probably took us down and unproductive.
I was going to say, I've never heard of birch beer.
Oh, birch beer is pretty common.
Okay.
You've had birch beer before.
No, is that an East Coast thing?
I don't drink much.
Yeah, it's a Northeast thing.
More when Conan was growing up, too.
Yeah, when I was growing up, every now and then my grandfather would pull up in his Model T and say let's go get a birch beer.
And then on the way back, we'd vote for Warren Harding for president.
See, out here, we just have beer.
We just have beer, you nerd.
Okay, well, okay.
Well, I guess I'm the fool in this equation.
Well...
Um, I, uh, this is a, you have mostly a thriving business.
I think, um, be wary of the birch syrup and put a warning on the label.
Do not drink.
Okay.
Put a warning on on the birch syrup label that uh, it's not to be.
You know, no one should drink it.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, you know what?
Better yet, put my face on it.
No one's going to drink it.
I think if we put your face on it, everybody would want to buy it.
No, we've tried that with other products.
Really?
We have a Conan fire extinguisher, and in fires, people won't use it.
We have a Conan intubator, and people that are dying won't use it.
The anti-Paul Newman.
Okay, that's nice.
You win this round.
Oh, Conan's own.
Conan's own.
All proceeds are stolen from charity.
Yeah.
All my money is taken from kids' camps.
The ship is sinking.
Quickly, grab the life preservers.
They're Conan's own life preservers.
I'd rather die.
I choose to drown.
Well, Mike, you're a good guy.
You've got a nice business.
I envy you living up there in Lake Placid.
Those are cold winters, but what a beautiful country.
What a beautiful place to be from.
And congratulations on the upcoming possible Olympics, where people remain perfectly motionless and yet are given the highest prize possible in athletics.
I think that's it.
It was a pleasure, Mike.
We're going to go make some griddle cakes and pour two of these three syrups onto it.
And then afterwards, not use the Conan defibrillator.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, thank you very much, Mike.
Take care.
Bye.
Okay, thank you.
Bye-bye.
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