Mom, since I didn't cost you all that money, who's your new favorite?
Me or Georgie?
You know I don't have favorites.
Yeah, right.
Okay, whoever takes the trash out first is my favorite.
She thinks we're stupid.
Dad, I'm pleased to tell you I've got a job to pay back my debt.
Is that so?
I'm going to be a paper boy.
Well, that's great.
I'm proud of you.
How do you plan on delivering these papers?
Bicycle.
You don't know how to ride a bicycle.
There's nothing I can't learn.
A week ago, I didn't know how to take apart a refrigerator.
I can't deliver newspapers.
Why not?
It's too dangerous.
I think you're being a little overprotective.
You expect him to go riding around at 5 AM with cars and dogs and who knows what else?
I did it when I was his age.
So did Georgie.
You're going to teach your brother how to do this.
What if I don't want to?
You're doing it anyway.
Hey, nobody asked your opinion.
I did the answer.
I got excited.
Georgie.
Georgie.
What?
I'm ready to scrub the moral stain off my character.
I hate everything about you.
When does the truck bring the papers?
When it does.
That's a tautology.
What?
A tautology, a statement that's true but uninformative.
Hey, you're supposed to be the one teaching me.
That's funny.
Oh, there it is.
Over here!
Over here!
This is exciting.
Something.
Thank you.
Have a great day.
Now what?
Take them into the garage and fold them.
Oh, boy.
Fold them like this, then rubber band.
But you didn't fold it into even thirds.
Nobody cares.
I care.
Then do whatever you want.
Wake me up when you're done.
Over the next 17 minutes, I used physics, geometry and old fashioned hard work to create the perfect newspaper folding system.
I'm done.
Great, let's load up the wagon.
No, I'm done with this one.
I still have 39 more to go.
All right, you got your list of addresses?
Right here.
Okay, all you gotta do is go up to each house and throw the newspaper at their front door.
Got it.
I'm going back to bed.
Thank you, Georgie.
You've been a wonderful teacher, and I'm very appreciative that you took the time.
My hands are black.
Why are my hands black?
Relax.
It's just the ink from the papers.
Why wasn't I warned of this?
Excuse me.
You Mr. Ballard?
Yeah, that'd be me.
I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson.
Oh, yeah.
The hair, very pretty.
Hang on a second.
I got to deal with this guy, OK?
Take your time.
So here you go.
Here's the rod you were asking about.
Now, that's a good choice, very solid.
And then I just brought this one along to show you, just in case later.
You know you get serious about fishing.
I'm pretty serious.
Yeah.
You know, I had that feeling.
What's your name?
Jim.
Jim.
Well, Jim, this rod's a little pricey.
It's double the cost of that one, but it's worth every penny.
And that's the rod I use.
Well, then that's the one I want.
Well, that's a good choice.
Now, with a rod like this, you want to use live bait, and we don't carry that here.
But down the street is Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop.
And if you tell him Dale sent you, he'll take care of you.
I appreciate that.
So take her over there to Bernice, and she'll ring you up.
Thanks.
Hey, and bring me back some catfish.
You bet.
You're a really good salesman.
Well, yeah.
Not only that, I get a kickback on everybody I send down to Ed's.
You're awesome.
I know.
Ooh, 35 cents off goober.
What's goober?
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
Think about how much time we'd save.
Hey.
Dale gave you a good price on those weights.
Better.
He gave me a job.
Damn, he did have fun last night.
What kind of job?
Salesman.
Well, congratulations.
I'm gonna learn a lot from him.
He's real good at getting people to spend money on stuff they don't need.
Well, I don't know if I like the sound of that.
You know what I like the sound of?
Ka-ching.
You're a sweet kid, but I don't think this is working out.
What?
Why?
I know everything there is to know about trains.
Well, see, now, that there is the problem.
People, when they come here, they want to enjoy it.
They don't want to get lectured in the bathroom.
And you have been correcting me in front of the visitors all morning long.
Would you prefer I send you a memo of your mistakes at the end of the day?
No.
Because that's what I did for the teachers at my school.
I think it brought us all closer.
Sheldon, it's great to have knowledge, but you don't need to show it off all the time.
Oh, I don't mind.
You see, trains are all about balance, right?
Now, you put too much water into a steam engine, it can't do its job.
You let that water run low, boom, it'll blow up.
Now, a good engineer makes sure he uses just the right amount of water.
Not too little, not too much.
That make sense?
The fireman adjusts the water, not the engineer.
And then he took my ask me button.
He didn't even ask me.
He just took it.
Hello.
What's up?
I saw your Hope Wanted sign.
I'd like to help, please.
How old are you?
How old do I need to be?
14.
Do I not look 14?
I don't care.
Perfect.
So when do I start?
Hold on.
Do you even like comic books?
Yeah.
What's your favorite?
Um.
And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just that they have superpowers, they act as a metaphor for outsiders trying to find their place in society.
Who's your favorite?
All of them?
Mine too.
And I got the job.
You can't work at the comic book store.
If anyone should work at the comic book store, it should be me.
Sorry, we're not hiring.
Do I at least get a discount?
I do.
Speaking of, did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude?
Or he lives in a rich dude's basement?
I'm still figuring it out.
Welcome to King Kong Comics.
I'm Missy.
If you have any questions, please let me know.
I don't have any questions.
I know more about comic books than you do.
Okay.
What you may not know is the new Green Lantern just came in.
Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow and, of course, the Hulk.
His skin is green.
I know that.
Everyone knows that.
Uh-oh.
Are you going to smash things?
That's something the Hulk does when he gets upset.
I'm not upset.
Cool.
If you need something, I'll be at the front counter where I work.
Hello, Rendell.
I would like to apply for a job.
You would?
Yes.
I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard.
I thought about going to Harvard, but then I realized the shack is my passion.
So can I work here?
Excuse me.
How much RAM does this computer have?
Uh, I can check on that for you.
It comes with 640 kilobytes, but it's expandable up to 768.
Well?
Do you even have a resume?
No, but I have a report card that'll knock your socks off.
And what's the processor speed?
It has the Intel 8286, so 10 megahertz.
Sorry, Sheldon.
I think it's against company policy to hire little kids.
But people say I'm like an old man all the time.
Hey, I'm one of them, but the answer's still no.
When people wonder why Radio Shack eventually went out of business, you can point to this moment.
You want some mashed potatoes?
See, there you go again, bringing the mashed potatoes to me when I should be going to the mashed potatoes.
What's going on?
Years of coddling have made me complacent, and now it may cost me my chance to get into grad school at Caltech.
I've been saying that since you were born.
And yet you did nothing to stop her?
If it helps, I always thought you sucked.
Yeah, see.
I talked to Meemaw.
She said if you come back to work at the video store, you can bring the baby.
What, I thought you wanted a job.
No, I said I wanted a career.
Oh, are you thinking about going back to work already?
Yeah.
I mean, it's a little earlier than I thought, but an opportunity came up and I'm going for it.
See?
Initiative.
Her parents kicked her out and look at that gumption.
So what job you going for?
Channel 7's looking for a new weather girl.
Oh, yeah.
She said she quit because she was getting married.
Rumor is she got knocked up.
Which is exciting.
The interview's on Thursday.
What?
You already applied?
I thought we were going to talk about it.
We did talk about it.
I said I was going to send in a tape and then I sent it in.
Who's going to watch Cece?
Well, I was hoping her family would help out.
Of course.
I mean, I do work.
I work too, George.
We work.
I got a point.
Uh, is the point that your mom's a working mother?
Well, I didn't work when my kids were babies.
That's true.
She was a stay-at-home coddler.
Okay, now you're being obnoxious.
No one wants to hear you talk, assface.
Thanks.
I appreciate the help, but let's keep it clean.
Buttwad?
Better.
Don't be so hard on yourself, honey.
You just had a baby.
Yeah, I'll make sure to tell them that.
Apparently everybody loves a working mother.
Is that code for something?
Yeah, your family sucks.
Oh, sounds like I missed a good dinner.
Am I a bad mom because I want a career?
Hell no.
And you're teaching your daughter that she can grow up to do something more than raise kids.
Yeah.
And you're going to go in there and you're going to get this job.
Yeah.
But not in that.
Yeah.
All right, good news.
Tell me.
Well, the kid was right.
It's just the thermostat.
Yeah, yeah.
So how long to fix it?
Nothing.
20 minutes.
Can I help?
Well, sure.
Grab yourself a pair of coveralls and have at it.
Thanks.
Really?
I'm paying you so my old son can fix my truck?
Well, we could have my son do it, but we know how that's going to end.
Did you tell her?
Why don't you tell her?
Tell me what?
Herschel offered me a part-time job.
Really?
Between that and football practice, when would you do your homework?
When does he do it?
Are you OK with this?
Yeah, I think it'd be good for him.
I don't know.
I think his education should come first.
Come on, Mom.
It's not like I'm going to graduate valedictorian.
You heard him.
Fine.
But I want you here for dinner every night.
And if your grades slip, you are done.
Thank you.
Now go wash up.
And don't get grease all over my towels.
He really did know his stuff at the shop.
It was impressive.
All right.
Well, maybe it'll be a good thing.
I was wondering if Georgia could come by after school tomorrow and help me out.
Well, I don't know, Herschel.
He's got football practice.
What's going on?
Herschel's asking if you want to work after school.
Great, I'll be there.
What about football?
What about it?
I mostly sit on the bench all day.
That's because you gotta earn your way on the first string.
Or I can earn some money working for Herschel.
Why don't you and I talk a bit before you make a decision?
Sorry, I didn't mean to cause a problem.
I'll find somebody else.
Y'all have a good night.
Night, Herschel.
Night.
Thanks a lot.
You really want to quit football to go work in a garage?
Hell yeah.
I thought you loved the game.
I do, but look at me.
I weigh 125 pounds.
It's not important.
It's not.
Every time I get tackled, somebody's gotta run over with smelling salts just to wake me back up.
Well, this isn't your decision.
You're gonna play football.
You can't make me.
Oh, yeah?
Wait and see.
Screw this.
Hi, Mary.
Hey, John.
What are you doing here?
Well, I lost my job, so while I'm figuring things out, I'm a bag boy.
Although, at my age, boy is pushing it.
Aren't you a little...
Hey, why don't you join us for dinner this weekend?
Sheldon would love to see you.
Oh, that'd be wonderful.
Clean up on aisle two.
That's me.
Madge, can you finish up here?
I have a date with a mop.
He's really smart.
How are you?
You got ID?
Yeah.
Dang it.
I must have left it in my wife's minivan.
I can't sell this to you.
I'm 21.
I swear.
You can ask Dr. Sturgis.
Who?
The old guy over there.
Dr. Sturgis!
Hey!
Never mind.
We'll have Marvel over here, DC over there, Indies in the back.
But within each section, how do we organize them?
Alphabetical by title.
But then you'd have Amazing Spider-Man in the A's, Spectacular Spider-Man in the S's, and Web of Spider-Man in the W's.
You see the insanity.
Okay.
So we'll do it alphabetical by character.
But then would we file Superman's pal Jimmy Olsen under J for Jimmy or S for Superman?
How about under I for I'm going home? and organize them by artist.
All the Steve Ditko's in one place.
Enough said.
Yeah.
After a week of tangling with animals, Mother Nature and a delivery man with a good arm and a bad attitude, it was time to reap the benefits of my hard work.
Collecting!
Hey, Sheldon.
Hello, Mrs. Sparks.
I'm here to collect for this week's paper delivery.
Right.
Hang on.
Also, I'm given to understand that tipping is customary, so feel free to express your appreciation.
Here you go.
You tipped me a dime.
Is there a problem?
No, it just doesn't seem like very much.
You were late every day.
Well, I had to brave the elements.
I saw you.
Brave isn't the word that I would use.
Hey, Sheldon.
You look sad.
I am.
Want an egg?
Sheldon?
What?
You suck.
I'm sorry, but I have a job to do.
How much longer till you pay Dad back?
At this rate, six months.
You suck.
For the next several months, I continued working my paper route until I paid my father back.
And by working, I mean delegating.
I have no idea where I am.
Sorry about the light beer, but Brenda's got me on this health kick.
You are melting away.
Shut up.
So listen, I feel bad about Georgie and this whole football thing.
Thanks, but it's not on you.
I appreciate that, but you got to know there's an upside to this.
And that would be?
Your son has got a special gift.
A gift?
We are talking about Georgie, right?
Yeah.
I mean, first off, the kid really knows his way around an engine, which is all well and good.
But when it comes to fixing tires, I swear I've never seen anything like it.
Tires?
How do you mean?
George, I've been patching flats for 25 years.
You know, slap some soapy water on them, look for the air bubble.
But your son, he doesn't need any tricks.
He knows where the puncture holes are.
He knows?
He knows.
He's got a sixth sense for tire damage.
I mean, you gotta see him in action.
It'll give you chills.
You're not to say it.
Whenever we had a leaky football, he knew exactly where the hole was.
I am telling you, your boy's got a future in the tire business.
Goodyear, Firestone, somebody's gonna scoop him up first round.
Thanks, sir.
That does my heart good.
So I guess you got two geniuses in the family.
Yes, I do.
Who knows?
Maybe Missy will make it three.
Or it's two.
Oh, my love.
Talk to me.
Tell me where it hurts.
Gotcha.
I got goosebumps.
What are you doing?
We're just asking people to sign our petition if they agree that sin has no place in cinema.
Clever.
Thanks.
And God doesn't want us seeing people's private parts.
Didn't he make people's private parts?
He did.
And then he made clothes to cover them right up.
You are scaring away my customers.
You know what's scarier?
Hell.
Look, you can't just sit here in front of my store.
Freedom of speech.
We're allowed.
And we're allowed to rent whatever movies we want.
People can choose for themselves.
They sure can.
If you love God and hate the devil, sign here.
Where is your halo?
Because you are an angel.
Let's just see what the people think about this.
Yeah.
Have you two lost your minds?
We do not need this kind of attention.
Attention's good.
Like, free advertising.
We're running an illegal gambling room in the back.
Oh, that'll be fine.
For you, if we get arrested, y'all go to lady jail.
I have to go to scary jail.
I'm too pretty for scary jail.
No more prison movies for you.
So you're saying we should just give in after what that holy rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
He does look like a muppet.
All I'm saying is we need to remember where the real money's coming from.
If we want it to keep coming, you gotta back off.
Okay, fine.
I'll behave.
When did you start to be the responsible one?
Hey, I don't like it either.
You know, your team didn't have a great year.
I'm aware.
I'm aware, too, because I've been hearing about it everywhere.
Grocery store, gas station, barber shop.
I'm only in there like 30 seconds, George.
Because I know people are upset, but we're going to turn things around.
Look, I'm on your side, but you should know the booster's got pitchforks out.
Not literally, but Charlie Dean owns that feed store.
So.
Are you saying I'm losing my job?
No, no, no.
I'm saying you just got some fires to put out.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Talk to the boosters.
Tell them something encouraging.
Yeah, got it.
And say it like your job depends on it.
Not that it does.
But it does.
You never get any glory without a little pain.
I know we've had our share lately.
We've got the pieces in place for next year.
With your support, we're going to make it happen.
I think we can agree that all boys are in good hands here.
So thanks for coming out.
Go Wolves.
I got a question.
Go ahead, Roy.
That game against Tyler, what in the hell were you thinking punting with a minute 24 on the clock?
That's a fair question.
Sure is.
That was a tough one.
But our offense was giving up 30 pounds to everyone across the line.
We had a quarterback who had an uneasy relationship with holding onto the ball.
So you blaming our kids?
Well, no.
No?
No.
No.
Look, they're great kids, a lot of heart.
They were getting killed out there.
It's a coach's job to know when to pull back.
So your strategy is to surrender.
That's not what I'm saying.
You know who don't surrender?
That new coach they got up at Carthage.
You know he played for the Packers?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, come on.
Played for two minutes and broke his collarbone, and that was his career.
Well, that's two minutes more than you played.
Help me.
Vince Lombardi never played for the pros.
So now this clown Vince Lombardi?
I'm not Lombardi, but I don't need to put up with this crap.
Okay, what I think we're all seeing is the passion that Coach Cooper brings to the field.
Now what you're seeing is me running out of patience.
Meeting's over.
There it is.
The Cooper surrender.
Hey, Georgie.
I'm thinking about taking your Meemaw away for this weekend.
Okay.
You have my blessing.
Thank you.
And I was wondering maybe if you'd look after the store while I'm gone.
You saying I'm the manager?
Oh, I'm saying I want you to look after the store while I'm gone.
But in a managerial capacity.
You think you can handle it?
Yes, sir.
I will make you proud.
Great.
Can I fire people?
No.
Can I get paid more?
No.
Can I at least change the music we play here?
What's wrong with the music we play?
Nothing.
It's just kind of grandpa music.
How is this grandpa music?
Do you listen to it?
Yeah.
Do you have grandchildren?
Yeah.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Didn't feel it at all.
That's how good this helmet is.
Want to take a whack?
Try it on.
I'll be up front when you're ready to buy it.
Oh, damn it.
You didn't have to storm off.
You're being childish.
So I don't want to get married.
It's nothing personal.
Well, it feels personal.
I'm not rejecting you.
I'm rejecting marriage.
If it helps.
It's not the first proposal I've turned down.
How the hell does that help?
After everything that I've done for you and your family.
You give my grandson a job so I'm supposed to marry you?
Well, you can forget I even asked.
What the hell?
Unlock this.
Who's here?
I'll call the cops.
It's just me.
Why are you back so soon?
None of your business.
How'd it go yesterday?
It was good.
Until it wasn't.
What do you mean?
I was helping a customer, and I guess I forgot to close the register.
Because when I got back to it, all the money was gone.
Are you kidding me?
I screwed up.
Did you call the police?
I didn't want to get them involved.
But I was going to make it right.
Here, take it.
Today was the longest I've been away from her, and it was So you don't want the job?
I don't know.
I think you should give it a shot.
Really?
Well, you're all excited about it.
And if you get the job, you can still say no.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'd love to see you on TV.
Aw.
Then I can say I slept with that girl on TV.
Okay.
In three.
All right, let's take a look at our forecast for tonight.
Winds from the west are headed our way, taking temperatures down to a cool 43 degrees.
But you know what they say in Texas?
If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes.
Actually, I've never said that, but my Aunt Bonnie does.
She's not wrong though, because those chilly days are gonna pass us by, and by the weekend we're looking at sunny and 72.
Mandy was proving that new mothers could do anything anyone else could do.
In fact, they could do more, like make their own milk.
Right there on camera.
Everything OK?
Not if you live on the coast, because there is a storm front building.
So we need to keep an eye on these clouds right here.
But there's a low pressure system building over here.
And well, then that could bring rain to this whole area here.
So for Channel 7 Weather, I'm Mandy McAllister.
Good night.
