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Happy Easter Holiday Squiz Kids!
We wanted to get you all an egg for the Easter holidays but we figured they'd all melt they got to you.
So instead, we've put together a special Easter School Holidays joke -a -thon, using as many of the jokes you sent us for our recent Andy Griffiths Q &A as we can fit into 10 minutes.
And to help me race through as many of your jokes as possible, please welcome my co -conspirator inside Splitting Fun, Amanda Bauer.
Hello everyone. So, eggs -cited to be here.
See what I did there with eggs?
Oh nice. Mmm. Nice, yeah, I like that.
So, Bryce, when we did a call out last week for Squiz Kids to send in their best jokes to be judged by Treehouse author, Andy Griffiths, we had a flood of emails.
We could only choose ten for the podcast, but it seemed such a shame to waste the others, and so here we are.
Okay, so here's the deal.
We're gonna set the stopwatch and smash out as many Squiz Kid jokes as possible in 10 minutes.
You ready? Ready! Okay.
Our first joke comes from the kids from year 5 -6 class of Hopeton Primary School in WA.
What happens when a frog gets bogged?
I don't know. What happens when a frog gets bogged?
He gets towed. Ah! What do you call an electric parrot?
Ah, Sparky? A shocker too!
I reckon the kids from Redeemer Lutheran School in Nureyatpa can do better than that.
Are you ready? Oh yeah?
Yeah, okay. Go on then.
Why did the boy cross the road?
I don't know. Why? Because he was stapled to the chicken.
Nice. What do you call a dog with no legs?
Hmmmm, I don't know.
Stumpy? Whatever you want, it's not gonna come to you.
What disease do martial art professionals catch?
Kung flu! Oh, good one.
Now, this is one of my favourite ones.
Why was six angry at seven?
Because seven, eight, nine.
Oh, it's a classic!
It's a winner, isn't it?
Okay. What did the farmer say when his wife didn't allow him to buy a prized cow?
I don't know. That was a big missed steak...
mistake, but missed...
Oh, a missed steak.
Yeah, missed out on the steak.
Oh yeah, I see what they've done there.
Man, those South Australian kids are funny.
All right, let's see what Queensland can do with Israel's offering.
And he asks, why did the pirate cross the road?
Oh, I don't know. Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.
Argh because he's missing a hand.
I love it. That's the hand.
There you go. Well how about the Year 6 kids from Mark Olyphant College in South Australia.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
Teenager? Close. A Smellolitics.
Oh, that's good. I like that one.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Oh, I don't know. Because it lost its filling.
Well done South Australians!
That is really good.
How about this one from Hamish in New South Wales?
What's small, ugly & really annoying?
Good question. I don't know but it comes when I call my little brother's name.
Nice Hamish! A bit mean.
I probably would have made that joke a few decades ago.
Sorry my brother Dave. Here's one from Hollie in Graceville.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Firmas. Firmas who?
There must be some way to make you laugh.
Yup, and that was it.
Louis and Willa have a good one from Newcastle.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Ooh. Oh, I don't know.
It was stuck in a crack.
I love a bum joke. Love it.
Bum jokes are the best. And a cracker from James in New South Wales.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Oh, I don't know. Because they don't meet the koalifications!
Oh that's a great one, I love it!
Great wordplay, yeah.
Alright, so here's one of those story jokes that Andy Griffiths told us last week that he liked so much. This one's from Ben in Sydney.
There were four people in a crashing plane, with only three parachutes left, because the pilot took one.
The four people were the man with the highest IQ in the world, a scientist, an old man and a kid.
The man with the highest IQ said, the world needs my brain grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The scientist said, the world needs my discoveries, grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The old man said to the kid, I've already lived my life.
you take the last parachute and jump." But the kid said, Oh, we can both go, the scientist took my backpack.
The Cracker, well done Ben.
How about this from six -year -old Amelia, why can't the cat watch the TV?
Oh! I don't know. Because he keeps pressing the pause button.
Oh! Amelia I see what you did there, P -A -W -S.
Nice one. And from Mitchell, who's listening all the way over there in Cape Town, South Africa.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
Oh, not milk. That's too obvious.
Uh -uh. A pat on the head.
Eww! Good one! My country cousins used to play Frisbee with cow pats.
Gross. Speaking of cows, these two cow jokes come from my friends in Mrs Harvey's class at Range Bank primary?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Mmm, don't know. Ground beef.
Ah. Good one. And why did the cow cross the road?
Eh, not sure. To get to the udder side.
Ah. Love it. That's utterly hilarious.
No. Dad joke alert.
Dad joke alert. Eva sent this one in.
Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?
Ooo. I dunno. Because he got a hole in one!
Oh nice! A hole in one!
I love it. Golf joke.
And this is from Gabe.
Why did Dracula take some medicine?
Ooo. Dunno. To stop his coffin.
hahaha. Good one Gabe!
And Oliver sends in Why did the dog cross the road?
Oooo. I dunno. I don't know.
Because it was the chickens day off.
Oh that's good. I like that Oliver.
That's a really good one.
Yeah that's a good one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Remy and Daisy have sent in.
One guy says, oh my bottom's gone to sleep.
And the other guy says, yeah I know.
I heard it snoring.
I love a fart joke too.
He doesn't. How about this one from Charlie.
What does a frog have for lunch?
Oh, I don't know. French flies and a diet croak!
Oh! Nice! Isn't that good?
Annalia and Rafa sent in some great word play jokes from Malabar.
What's a pirate's favourite food?
Mmmm, I don't know.
Marrrr mate! Oh good.
yeah. I get it, yeah.
And what did the cow get for Christmas?
Errr not sure. A calculator.
Oh clever calculator.
I like that. Yeah when you look at it in writing, you don't think it's going to sound like calculator but it does.
There it is. The clock's ticking.
Ah, I want to squeeze in these ones though from the class 456 in Porpaingka what did the flower say at the start of the race?
No idea. Ready, set, grow!
Nice one. That's cute.
What do you call a sleeping Ooo, nope, I couldn't tell you.
A bulldozer. Oh nice, I love it.
Yeah, see what I did there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, how about this one from Alexis, what did one wall say to the other wall?
Oh I don't know. I'll meet you at the corner.
Ah, good one. And I love this one as a teacher, I love this one from Caitlin, a teacher asks if you put your hand in one pocket and found one dollar, and then put your hand in your other pocket and found another dollar, what would you have?
And the student replies, someone else's pants on?
Yes, I can relate to that one.
From Matthew and Sophie, time is ticking away, what sits at the bottom of the sea and quivers?
Ooh, I dunno. A nervous wreck!
Oh, that's good! I love it!
And this winner from Ruby, what is the difference between a carrot and a unicorn?
Gosh, a carrot and a unicorn, no idea.
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast!
Nice one! Time's up!
Probably just as well.
I'm exhausted from telling rapid fire jokes and from laughing too hard. How funny are Squizz kids?
They're funny. Hey, and remember, if you haven't yet had a chance to listen to our joke Q &A with Andy Griffiths.
It's always available on whatever podcasting app you use or on the Squiz Kids website, SquizKids .com .au along with all of our content.
Sure is, and while you're there be sure to check out our other Easter Holiday programming with a bunch of kids versus adult quizzes.
The perfect way to while away a road trip, a spare moment of family fun time in the halls and prove once and for all that kids really are smarter than adults.
Oh I already knew that but maybe the parents don't believe us yet.
That's all we have time for today.
Thanks for listening to Squiz Kids and as we like to say… Now get out there and have a most excellent day.
News Fix fun, free, fresh.
