Hi, my name is Charlie Puth.
And I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
We're going to fill in that blank and by the end of this episode you're going to feel, I think the word's going to be ecstatic.
Or filled.
That makes me uncomfortable, Charlie.
Fall is here.
Hear the yell.
Back to school.
Ring the bell.
Brand new shoes.
Walking loose.
Climb the fence.
Books and pens.
I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
I'm Conan O'Brien, of course, and I'm joined by Sona Movsesian.
Hello, Sona.
Very good to be here.
Thanks for having me.
And David Hopping is, of course, filling in for Matt Gorley, who's on paternity leave.
Forever.
Listen, I respect a guy.
He takes fatherhood seriously.
I did not.
When Liza was giving birth to our first child, I left mid-contraction to go back to work.
And I still haven't met my daughter, but I'm told she's lovely.
It's very sweet.
He's spending a lot of time with his family.
It's very nice.
And that's a familial bond, which is very important.
Early on, you've got to do it.
But he'll return one day.
Until that time, there's much to talk about.
So I had a nice surprise, which is I turn on the TV the other morning.
The TV's just on in the background.
And they go, and coming up, Sonam of Session.
And it was, what's it called?
Good Day LA?
It's called Good Day LA.
It's on Fox 11 News.
It's a local, yeah.
People from LA know.
Good day.
Yeah, it's the thing.
And, you know, I was just like, I've got to watch Fox right now.
I was just like, I've got to see my Fox.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You love a local Fox affiliate.
I love a Fox affiliate.
And that's just the way I've always been.
And then I hear we'll be right back with Sonam Obsession.
Yeah.
And you come on and you have a book that's coming out fairly soon.
Your first book, which was a smash hit, World's Worst Assistant.
I don't see why it was so popular because it's just a book about truth.
About my time being your assistant.
Yes, yes.
Called the world's worst assistant.
You wrote the foreword.
I wrote the foreword.
And this is the world's worst mom.
This one's called World's Worst Mom.
It's all about your adventures raising your two lovely boys.
Yes.
A.K.A. monsters.
They're lovely.
They're lovely.
I love those guys.
And I'm always adorable.
I love winding them up when they come here to the office.
I drop everything I'm doing and I chase them around.
Yeah, they get super hyper.
So they're not going to go to sleep for six days.
And then I say, got to go.
And I go into a recording session.
And I always see your husband, Tack, looking like, F you, man.
They are plutonium by the time I'm done with them.
They are.
They're psychotic.
I chase them upstairs, downstairs.
They love it.
They love it.
So this is you on the news.
And, um, I was thinking, I just, I'm sorry.
I had to look at that and think, look how far you've come.
Amazing.
I grew up watching Good Day LA.
And then I was on it.
But I also, I've never done live television.
And I had to be very aware of what I talked about.
Right.
You've done a lot of things with me, but those are on tape.
Yeah.
And there's time to pull things up a bit if you get salty with your language because you did some time in the Navy and you have a
You got a mouth on you, sister.
Right.
And so I was amazed at how professional you were.
Yeah.
Almost like you took classes.
What do you mean?
Like media training classes?
Yeah.
Have you ever done that?
Do you think I've done that?
I don't know.
You have this ability, which you've always had, to appear like a normal person when necessary.
You know what I mean?
Like you're very charming and you're not dropping F-bombs.
You're not telling raunchy stories.
You are just this glowing...
Sometimes, when I was working for you as your assistant, there were times when we had to interact with like actual, real people, like professional, decent people.
Right.
And so you have to like you have to switch it up.
We can't be like, oh, fuck you.
Fuck you.
In front of like, you know, Michelle Obama or like her people.
I hope not.
Jesus.
But we can't do that.
So, you know, you have to be good and professional.
And so yesterday I was on the news.
I was on the news and I was following Manny Pacquiao, which was crazy.
Yeah, he was on before me.
And yeah, I had so much fun.
And those women I was on with, one of whom is my friend, Aroxia.
And then the other two anchors, everyone was so professional.
They're so like cool.
They're fun.
They look great.
I don't mean to insert myself in a situation, but don't you think in a way they had you on to kind of get to the big dog?
Do you know what I mean?
Like, was there anything like, oh, so you're here, so now that's great.
Is he coming?
Oh, they think like you come with me?
Yeah.
And then you would just replace me?
No, not replace you, but you have to...
Look, it's just got to be a thing in your life where you have to be a little suspicious that people, maybe you're.
If someone's being nice to you oh, it's just to get to the guy.
Okay.
The guy.
Listen, you're doing bits about this, but you're also right.
You're right.
I'm not doing a bit.
Everyone comes to me to get to you.
Okay, but you know that I'm going to get a call tomorrow from Good Day LA and they're going to be like well, Sona was on, so I guess now your turn.
Well, yeah.
Right.
Well, it's kind of like you're at a feast and there's like scraps falling and I'm like yay, I get to eat.
You just likened yourself to an animal under the table.
But I've always been a barnacle on your cruise ship.
And I'm fine with that.
And I love it.
And I get to do things like go on Good Day L.A.
And that's what I'm saying.
I don't know what I'm going to say.
Barnacles are necessary.
They serve a function.
I don't know what it is.
I know they have to be scraped off religiously.
They do.
But they must serve some function.
No, they don't.
That's the whole point.
You have to scrape them off.
Well, then you're a barnacle.
I'm a barnacle.
And you know what?
It's cool.
I feel like I'm a con man.
I have done the perfect grift and I'm cool with it.
I am perfectly happy.
Well, I will say I've blown.
I mean, every time I see it's Sona.
Every time I see this Sona out in the world, I'm very impressed.
You you you.
You look great.
You're very engaging.
You're funny.
And the thing I've always said about you is you don't change when the camera's on you.
You don't change when you're in here being on the podcast.
You don't change.
I swear to God, if I... made you come out with me at the top of the Oscars, you would be Sona.
Yeah.
I mean, I like to think so.
That is a gift, because most people I know hardly anyone you might be, the.
You're the most natural person in every situation.
Hey.
Thank you.
And you know, a few weeks ago I did a keynote speech at the Writers Workshop in Dayton, the Irma Bombeck Writers Workshop.
I wrote a speech.
And I remember I sent you a text because you're doing the Harvard commencement speech this year.
And I was like, if you need help.
I'm right here.
You are a speech champion.
I am a speech champion.
You are a speech champion and you bring that up a lot that you're a speech champion.
I bring it up every, almost every day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
That must have a huge impact on your life.
Kind of.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm doing this for a living, which is just talking.
This isn't, couldn't be a living.
This is my living.
This is literally my life.
Do you still get paid as my assistant?
Do you still get paid as my assistant?
Yes, I do.
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Back in October, I had to go to a wedding.
She covered me for two days.
I covered him for two days.
Remember?
Yeah.
We went to the eye doctor.
That's why you pay me.
Why did you go to the eye doctor?
Why did you go?
You went to the eye doctor.
Your eyes were like watering.
Oh, that's right.
They were watering.
Yeah.
And then it turned out they said you're having an emotion.
Oh.
That's how repressed I am.
I said, my eyes are watering.
And they went, anything happen?
Well, you know, my parents died last year.
And also this sad thing happened.
And they said, that's called crying.
But I do things sometimes.
I don't.
I actually don't.
I don't do anything.
That's incredible.
And this is we have just we just I just saw this rock.
I was walking through the forest and I saw this rock and I just lifted it up and I saw scandal depravity, injustice.
And and I quickly put the rock down.
But if you think we're not revisiting this rock and lifting it up again, you're sorely mistaken, because this is a scandal.
And I want I want Sue Lane in here.
I want Sarah Federovich in here.
I want to open the books on this thing because I think you're committing a crime.
How dare you?
How dare you?
How dare me?
The fallout from being your assistant has been that I am attached to you for the rest of your life.
So for the rest of your life, you're paying me to be your assistant.
Even though I'm not assisting you.
I'm going to investigate this.
I'm going to get into the weeds.
This is a crime.
This is a crime at every level.
It is.
And we're going to have to figure out.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
I still get notifications when it's someone's birthday.
I don't do anything with the notifications, but I get them.
Oh, yeah.
Did you get a notification about this Saturday?
My fucking birthday.
Hey, I think the barnacle should learn the birthday of the cruise ship it's been hanging out on.
You had no idea.
Oh, I get notifications about important birthdays.
Oh, yeah.
How about this Saturday?
Oh.
Whoa.
Uh-huh.
Oh, I mean.
You just remember you don't need a notification because it's just.
It's there.
I always know it.
I have it tattooed on my leg.
Oh, yeah.
April 18th.
Thumbs up.
All right.
Listen.
Shut up, Blaise.
Wow, we've exposed so much crime.
The rot goes deep.
The rot goes deep.
All right, my guest today is a singer, songwriter, whose fourth studio album, Whatever's Clever, is out now.
Very excited to chat with this gentleman.
Charlie Puth, welcome.
Is this a first?
I think after 35 years of doing this podcast, for the first time our guest Charlie Puth has a keyboard in front of you, which is really cool and may become mandatory for everyone.
Hmm.
I may just say, even if they most people won't play the keyboard, but I'll insist that it be there and that they take a few stabs at it.
Yeah.
It kind of colors my words a little bit more.
Like if I'm, if I have like a really good idea.
If I'm introspective.
Let me ask you something.
What if I start to speak and things get menacing?
I'm going to switch it to the piano.
Let me tell you something, Charlie.
I don't like you and I don't like what you stand for.
I've never liked these musicians, these prodigies, and I'm going to kill you.
Now let's have it get happy.
And then I don't get killed.
Wait a minute, I'm off my meds, but now I'm back on my meds again, Charlie.
Because now we're in C major and you don't end up killing me.
That's good.
See, I'm I'm I'm in it now.
You're in it now.
Lovely to have you here.
There is so much to talk about.
You're on fire at the moment.
You've got this great album out.
And and I'm very excited to have you here because I just want to talk about something.
First of all, it's called Whatever's Clever.
First of all, this is crazy, but one of your tracks is Don't Meet Your Heroes.
And yet here you are.
High five, Sona.
I don't know.
Holy shit.
I had to.
I love, I used to be cringe.
I was listening to, that actually might be my favorite song on the album.
It's a really good song, and you talk about how...
Is that ass?
They said don't play more than six seconds of a song, but I'll let you play.
I'll give the rights to you or whatever the fuck it is.
Wait a minute.
You just gave me the rights to a Charlie Puth song?
You idiot.
And that's a verbal contract.
That's what I got.
My new scam is going to be getting, you know, Billie Eilish in here, getting Taylor Swift in here, getting Sabrina Carbon here, and then having them blurt out.
Okay, you can have the rights.
And then overnight, I've got seven yachts strapped together.
I don't know if I used to be cringe is going to give you seven yachts, but I really like it.
Um, I identify with the song though.
Mine would not be past tense.
I remain cringe.
Mine isn't past tense.
And then I love this.
One of my favorite people was Jeff Goldblum.
You have a collab with Jeff Goldblum on a song called Until It Happens to You.
And I thought, oh, because I know Jeff's a musician.
This is going to be Jeff playing.
When you get to his part, which would normally be like rap or singing a solo part, it's him talking.
And it's fantastic.
It's a great 10cc shot of pure Goldblum in the song.
He's like, well, boys, if I were to tell you, that kind of sounds like Howard Stern.
That's good, though.
That's good.
That was a good one.
But, like, it's a song about reacting to losing a loved one.
And it's kind of like a disguise and, like, very happy.
Yes.
Very happy chords, but it's just like, it's about death.
It's about death.
And Jeff Goldblum, like well, he made us all cry in the in the studio because he just like started speaking to his kids who weren't there, but like speaking to us like we were his kids.
And it felt like the end of a movie where the credits kind of slowly trickle down and everyone's walking away to the sunset down the yellow brick road.
I liked, first of all, it's Goldblum who's got the most distinctive.
I mean, he's up there with Christopher Walken and a couple of other iconic people who have such a distinctive way of speaking.
And it's almost the part of the song where someone would scat.
And he is kind of scatting, but it's, then I realized that's just how Jeff Goldblum talks.
Just, let me tell you something.
Yeah.
And he's doing that.
And you realize that, oh, this is a version of jazz.
And it's just the way Jeff Goldblum talks.
Absolutely.
It is.
And I strive to find the most melodic people on anything that I, any project that I make.
Yes, I'll do it.
Cool.
Wait, I'm sorry.
That was my next question.
I thought that was an invite.
I've got the rights to one song, and now I'm going to be in another song.
This is the worst day for your career ever.
Spending a lot of money.
I said you were on fire, and you are, but it ends here.
I'm like negative $26.
$26.
I've got to mention, we'll talk more about the album in a second.
And when I say a second, I mean towards the end of the interview.
But you killed the national anthem.
Thank you.
And you must be getting at the Super Bowl.
Very hard song to sing.
It is.
It's a very hard song, he said, being a comedian, not a musician.
But I've always heard the trick is, and the Rockets Red glare takes such a big leap.
Who owns the national anthem?
I'm sure Trump has it now, but...
No, he bought the rights like six weeks when no one was looking.
But what I've always heard the secret is to start low.
Well, that's what I would do.
I would be like, oh, say, can... I would start down there.
Well, you were doing it in C major.
Oh, say, can you... So then when I go up to...
And the rocket's red... You'd have to go an octave up from... Actually, no, you're correct.
Yeah, I have... I was right, wasn't I?
Oh, say can you see... And the rocket's red glare... Well, you have to...
I feel so patriotic in this moment.
I mean visually, if I can represent.
The reason why it's hard to sing is because like, you start, if you're going to start here, and then you have to go here, and then you have to actually go.
Yes.
Up here at the middle end of at the end of the song.
So you don't get a break.
When I see someone start the national anthem too high.
Jose, I'm like, you're dead.
You are dead.
And I say that, I start screaming at the TV, you're dead!
Yeah, because then you have to awkwardly change keys.
Nobody comes to mind because everybody nails the national anthem, obviously.
Oh, I bet you have some...
No, everyone's great.
You seem like too nice a guy.
But you know, I know in your head right now there are some names of people.
I think we're all thinking of.
But you're correct.
When you start too high.
What's that, Sona?
Specific one, yeah.
Go ahead, Sona.
What's that?
Fergie.
I'm trying to get off the exit here.
Yeah.
You're fine.
I'm the one who said it.
You didn't say anything, Charlie, and I didn't say anything.
What are you saying, Sona?
Fergie.
She famously went crazy.
She went buck wild with the Star Spangled Banner.
Did she start too high?
I don't know.
Don't ask me, man.
Don't ask me.
I don't know.
I think I'm tone deaf.
This is Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York?
Yes, yes.
Sarah Ferguson.
Okay, well, she had no business singing the National Anthem.
I know, I agree.
London Bridge is fantastic.
And again, it stays in a restrained range.
If I'm ever asked to sing the national anthem, and I know it hasn't happened yet.
It's coming.
I'm still very young in my career.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Thanks, Charlie.
I will start low.
I will start low.
Yeah, but you are correct in your assessment.
You don't want to start like, oh.
Oh, say, because then you have to go.
I wonder how high I could start and still hit it.
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed in the light of the day?
Here we go.
A modern day Minnie Riperton.
You know what?
You ran out of keyboard.
And I saw you pull some extra white keys out of your pocket and glue them.
I had to really drive this shit up.
You got really loud there for a second.
Yeah, it's insane.
It's insane.
It's kind of like a cross between Tiny Tim and Freddie Mercury.
Yeah, it was.
It's a very good musical analysis.
I had my testicles removed six weeks ago in preparation for this interview.
And I'm told they might be able to reattach them.
Might.
If they can find them.
See, you don't get stuff like this in Santa Barbara, where I live.
You have to come to Hollywood for this shit.
You know what I love?
Charlie, you perform a great service, which is... I just want to make sure I get the title right.
Yeah.
Professor Puth TikTok series.
You have this TikTok series that I enjoy...
Because I'm an amateur musician and I like to play around with guitar and I like to try and make music with other musicians in my way.
A lot of qualifiers there.
You're a musician.
You're downplaying.
Well, I love doing it.
It's a big part of my private hobby life.
But I've always been phobic about theory.
And I was phobic about math when I was a kid.
And when people would bring up math, I would think, I'm not smart.
I can't do this.
And I would shut down about math.
And I'm the same way when people bring up theory, I love to mess around on the guitar.
And then when someone says, well, that's interesting, that's the relative minor.
So you can take the relative minor, but remember, if you play the flat, remember there are three flats.
I just black out.
I do too.
You do?
Really?
Absolutely, I do.
I'm not just saying that to make you feel better.
I remember there's a solfege, do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do.
That is put in place so you can know.
It's built as a reference for singers.
Now it's a toy piano sound.
Good job, Schroeder.
This is C, is Do and then Fa is F.
But I don't need Do Fa like it's.
It's an extra effort for me to remember that.
I just know it's C and F.
So I would go to my teacher and be like I don't know how to read Solfege.
She was like well, you have to know how to read Solfege.
You're in fucking Solfege class.
I don't like the way this teacher talked to you yeah, And I was like if you don't know how to read it properly, you have to go to Soulfish 3.
And I would hold up the piece of paper, but I can sing and play back every note perfectly, because I don't need the reference I have in my head.
She said, it doesn't matter.
You have to go back to 3.
So I share that with you where I would get nervous.
You have this great.
You know I use the term origin story a lot on the podcast, but you have this moment.
You're interested in music clearly, and you know you have a facility with music.
Have I made it clear?
There is a keyboard in front of you, which Al Pacino did not have.
But you you went to Catholic school.
I did.
Yeah.
You had a moment in Catholic school when this is correct.
An organist, someone who played the organ for you guys at you know, you know, at a mass or something wasn't present.
Do we have an organ sound?
I don't think we do.
But yeah.
Did we get you this or did you bring it?
I brought it just because it has my initial CP on it.
Very nice.
It's not my piano.
It's tiny enough where it's not super invasive.
So you're that self-involved that you need your name on everything.
Very narcissistic.
Okay.
I saw your license plate on your car when you drove.
It's Puth Rules.
Yes.
In here.
Yeah.
But yes, the church organist didn't show up and they were going to play it.
It was the time of life where they would play things on tape.
I don't know if that exists anymore, but they were going to play the whole mass on tape and awkwardly pause it.
And so they sometimes wouldn't pause it correctly.
And, and then I was like, I'll just, I just, I know the whole, um, Uh, mass from memory.
I've heard the songs uh so many times because I thought it was like if you look at a cup with a deer on it, you're going to remember what the deer looks like.
If you, you know uh, have a bit that you have to memorize, like it's uh, if you read it enough, you're going to remember eventually, if you read it enough times.
I thought that was the same thing for everybody, just with sound.
Yeah.
Um, and apparently it wasn't typical and that's how I discovered it.
It's funny that you, you thought, well, wait a minute.
Okay.
The organist isn't here.
The person who was supposed to play, but how can I make this about me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I would do that, but then have nothing to back it up.
But you thought to yourself oh, I've heard these a bunch of times, so I'll just go up and play them.
And you didn't know that was unusual.
No, i didn't because again, i thought it was just like if you study for a vocabulary test, if you need to memorize the definition of whatever and not the word whatever, i know what actually, what is the definition of Anywho?
You read a bunch of definitions.
You're going to memorize them because you heard it so many or read it so many times.
I attribute it the same feeling with sound.
If I hear a James Taylor song 10 times, I'm going to know it right away.
Right, it endlessly fascinates me.
That's why i that fascinates me too.
I love your tiktoks.
I really love your tiktoks because and this is where it all started i love when you explain something that i've been hearing and it's around, but now you're explaining why so many songs sound like this.
I remember watching one I forget what it's called but that whole trend in music where there's a soft and a loud, a soft and a loud and a soft and a loud oscillating, and it's become such an-.
The side chain compression.
Side chain compression, which we- That was so cool.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
Do you want me to do it again?
Oh.
No, no, no.
You mean what Charlie did.
What Charlie was doing.
She meant what Charlie was doing musically was the one you were interested in.
That's what I like.
Were you trying to beatbox?
No.
What were you doing?
I was choking on a chicken bone.
Okay, that's better.
That makes sense.
But so, no, but what you were doing was you started explaining what that is.
And I realized I have heard that a million times.
And it's always associated with like a club.
It's in like every, you know, episode of Euphoria.
There's people crying. crying with lots of makeup.
And it's like, whatever you do it, please.
I don't want to do it again.
Sounds like a vegan distress or something.
Sona, I don't understand.
You really love this, don't you, when I do this.
That's exactly what Charlie did.
Please, Charlie, I beg you.
So everybody, if you went up to someone on Larchmont right now and was like what does dance music sound like?
They would go, they would put their hands.
If you're in New Jersey, they would put their hands in the air.
They'd be like.
But my, my goal is, so everyone knows that that's like, you know the broad terminology of like what dance music sounds like.
But my goal is to like, take it one step further for people, for them to understand that that all that is is just volume automation.
You know, like Right.
That's me playing a C. Rising, falling, rising, falling, rising, falling.
And it's just volume down, volume up, volume down, volume up.
But then what's cool is you talk about how a lot of people would think okay, that's in club music now.
Yes, it is.
But you'll say, well, they were doing it in the 70s with in the 60s with this and the 70s.
They, you know, Donna Summer and Donna Summer.
It wasn't as obvious, though.
It was just more of like a way to it was more of like a really secret engineering trick.
Right.
A little spice that they're putting in and not telling anybody.
And then everyone exaggerates it more and more and more.
It's like so many other things in music.
You can hear something's going on in Sun Session Records in 1954, 55.
And it's...
Now we can say well, it's kind of just sounds kind of very much country.
But at the time it sounded very different to people because and then people just kept tweaking it and tweaking it and it became, you know, I mean, everybody wants more of what they like.
So yeah.
Like, when I first heard the black album, Metallica, like, sad but true.
The really bright 90s lords.
Yeah, like a motorcycle fucking, like metal uh, kind of kind of sound.
Then i started here that that came from or might have been inspired by, like living on a prayer, bon jovi, or like another mutt lang record where they were experimenting with.
But where did what came before living on a prayer?
Uh, I'm generalizing, like in the air tonight.
Phil Collins, big Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, gated drum sounds.
Everything you can trace.
The cool thing about music is that you can trace everything back to something.
Yes.
And that's the thing that's true of my business has been comedy.
And it is so important for people to know no one's coming along with a fresh slate.
Everybody is coming to their, call it a craft, call it a pastime, call it a career, whatever.
They're all coming to it with this gumbo that they grew up eating.
That was just a mix of so many other influences.
And everybody's starting with that.
So you could, you know, you could say, oh, my God, I like the most hardcore thrash metal.
But those guys will tell you well, actually I was listening, to you know REO Speedwagon in high school.
And you'd be like, wait a minute, REO Speedwagon.
And I'm making this up because I don't think that's possible.
Yeah.
But do you know what I mean?
They heard something in that that.
Then they extrapolated and pulled out and got to where they wanted to go.
Do you remember the first time you ever saw, I guess, the video of Kinnison at Dangerfields?
Yeah.
When he just got up there and started yelling, yelling yeah yeah, had anybody done that in comedy before?
Where they just like i just got back from a seven, i'm saying marble like like i dice had his, like you know, a cigarette behind the ear, kind of like yeah, stick and everything like that.
But like where Did that come from?
The Nettie Murphy thing?
Did that come from a, like, Brian Regan not cursing at all in his bits?
I don't know if you're enemies of these people.
No.
I hope you're friendly with all of them.
You've not named an enemy yet.
But if you keep going, no, I don't.
I don't have enemies.
I would listen to like 2005 Dane Cook where he's cursing all over the place.
But then I'd hear like a couple of years prior, Brian Regan, where he wasn't.
It was like maybe he was listening to that, but just like added in the curses for like extra.
I think a lot of comedians are also musicians, too, because I think that there's a lot of parallels.
Well, we talk about this a lot.
I bring it up a lot because it fascinates me.
Everyone in comedy envies musicians, I believe, whether they consciously or unconsciously do it.
I very consciously envy musicians because I...
I always look at a musician as someone who's not judged moment to moment.
And I envy that.
That's not right.
But what I'm saying moment to moment, I mean when you start and you play one of your songs, People weren't going.
I like this part.
Oh, no, no, I don't like that part.
Oh, but I like this part again.
Oh, but I don't like this part now.
That's not how they think about music.
And that is very much...
Comedy is moment to moment.
Like you get a laugh and then you do another thing and like less of a laugh.
And then sometimes like, oh, and then like, oh yeah.
And I don't think that happens in music.
And I think I've always envied.
If you go out and play your hits, everyone's going to be so happy the whole time.
Springsteen's back out there now with the E Street Band.
And I think... I got to go to that show.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's going to be amazing.
But no one's saying, okay, I like this part of this song.
Oh, I don't like this part as much.
But no comic ever gets to the point where they're not judged.
I think moment to moment in my opinion.
I'm sure Bruce has had fans who are like, do we have to hear the fucking rising one more time?
Do we have to... Let's get to glory days.
Let's get to... Yeah.
I've...
I was I just put out an album.
And of course I'm like.
Any artist that says that they're not reading reviews or scouring the Internet is lying.
I am like I look at this.
I look at these reviews as much as my child.
I'm.
And you nurture them.
You nurture them.
I take them too seriously sometimes.
My wife tells me to stop looking at them.
I saw this one and everyone's entitled to their opinion.
I saw this one review saying that Charlie just put out an album and it is just another soulless attempt at trying to be an artist.
And that really hurt my feelings because I actually did.
I put my heart and soul in this and I didn't make this album to make a bunch of hit songs.
I wanted to actually talk about you know fatherhood, my family and, like you know things like that.
And they're like, boo, doesn't have a catchy hook.
It's like I've had, you know, I had my song Attention.
You just want attention.
You just want attention.
I had that song out.
It was a number one record and we couldn't sell 3,000 tickets in, I think it was Chicago.
It was like 2,000 tickets.
2,000 people is a lot, but it was a tour meant for five, 6,000 people.
I've had hit songs out.
People knew the hits more than they knew me.
My goal on this album was for people to know me.
Yeah.
And sometimes I get jealous of comedians because you know their personality.
First time I saw Ralphie May, I became obsessed with Greg Giraldo.
I felt like I knew their personality.
They've both passed, haven't they?
Yeah, that's okay.
Oh, man.
I just named two people that passed.
It happens, you know, you know what I mean?
Like, I know you're I feel like I know you because I've obviously grown up watching you and like your delivery.
It's like you are who you portray yourself to be.
And whereas a musician, it takes a couple of years for people to get to know you, unless you just nail it right out.
That's interesting to me that you have worked so many great artists and then you yourself have had so many hits.
People know your name and now you're saying yeah, I really want to Get into the autobiographical part of songwriting and have people connect to you that way.
That makes perfect sense to me.
As far as critics go, there's no escaping criticism.
And I got to a point in my career where I don't look for it.
Uh, I have you know.
Sometimes you are just confronted, whether you want to know it or not, with the good and the bad but and usually people tell you, if there's something really mean about you out there, you'll find out, because your garbage man will say Hey, did you see that?
You know?
Uh, and I'll say, well, I, I didn't, but thank you.
Um, I don't think you're the worst fuckhead in the world.
Well, I appreciate that.
Why are you eating so much dairy?
Yeah.
Now, the dairy is another issue.
We'll talk about the dairy.
It's coating your stomach for the morning.
Yeah.
But I would agree with your wife that you don't.
I don't think it's necessary to seek it out, because you know when you're doing work that you like that's important to you.
And so that's why I would agree with her that you going on the internet and looking for what do people think about Charlie Puth is unnecessary.
Everybody does it though.
I mean, and I totally agree with you.
It is completely unnecessary, but it's almost like high school.
You just want validation sometimes.
You poured your heart and soul into this and you just want people to at least like, take a listen to it and understand.
And there are so many, there's millions of people that already have it.
Listen, I'm coming across as if I'm scolding you or telling you this is ridiculous.
I completely understand what you're saying.
But...
I've spent a lifetime around people that are looking for validation.
And then they're like.
Well, first I got to do this sold out series of concerts at Madison Square Garden.
And then I'm getting knighted in England.
And then I have to go to Spain where they're actually making me a member of the royal family.
Yeah.
And it's just one of these funny things about human beings.
And trust me, anytime I do anything, I think this is the test of whether I'm any good or not.
And I recalibrate every time I set all the clickers back to zero.
I think you guys could agree that.
Yeah.
All the clickers go back to zero and it's like, you're giving a small toast at a Christmas party.
Yes, I know.
But these are good friends of mine and this has to be the greatest toast of all time.
And if it isn't, I'm nothing.
So I'm telling you that, yes, we're all ridiculous people.
But at the same time, because I'm not you, I can say you do not need to be hunting on the Internet and reading.
Oh, good.
Someone wrote something nasty.
I need to read every single word of it because I don't think it serves you.
It doesn't serve your creativity.
I don't think it's doing anything.
No, it doesn't.
And you don't know what that person's going through.
Which is they wanted to do what you're doing?
Possibly, or they have biases.
Of course they do.
I've had interactions like that before.
There was this bartender who was very rude to me and then i, i was, i was i'm never rude to people because i i always have that like mentality of like they might be going through something and it turns out that like he didn't get into the school that i went to and like it's he was very well aware that i went to that school, it all had to do very little with the fame aspect, with the school aspect, and i then i ended up having a great conversation with him about music.
Right, was this berkeley?
This was somewhere in woodstock vermont.
But i mean, was the school berkeley?
Oh, the school was berkeley.
Yeah yeah, ever been to woodstock vermont?
Yes, i have gorgeous yeah, beautiful new england and yet this person's living in beautiful woodstock vermont and they're bitter and angry, you know, maybe not anymore.
No,
I think after they already had a resentment towards you, then they met you and you were really nice.
Yeah.
He's twice as bitter now.
And he's nice.
Yeah.
He should have been a dick is what you're saying.
If you'd been a dick, then this guy would be so happy right now.
I'm glad I'm not him.
Then I'd be a dick.
But now he's, I mean, he's probably not alive anymore.
I'm just going to put it out there.
This took a turn.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I think there's a good chance that person no longer walks the earth and it's your fault.
But anyway, let's move on.
I've got to get into music because I can't be a comedian anymore.
You're sick.
I'm just a broken man.
You're so sick.
But it's going to be fine.
It's like when you watch the sitcom and you hear like you know they're there, everything's gonna be okay, and then, and then you hear the audience clapping like oh yeah, yeah.
And then you have to have, and then like cousin, uncle jesse comes in and you have to some some sort of like comedic break.
I'm like anybody want to go get tacos and then the credits fucking roll.
Going on tour, Going on tour.
And this is a big tour.
Big tour.
What's the name?
Is it named after your album?
It is the Whatever's Clever World Tour.
And I will be on stage with my band.
And they're the best band in the music industry.
They make me sound so good.
And it's just a joy to share the stage with them every single night.
You have to come to a show.
I would love to come to a show.
You come to the Forum Show.
And maybe if you want me to come out, sing a song.
Oh, man.
I know this is coming, so I want to save you the embarrassment.
No, I'm serious, though.
And you just, you throw out a key, because I also have perfect pitch.
I feel like you actually might.
Comedically, I have perfect pitch.
I never, oh wait, I just did that thing about a guy killing himself.
Yeah, you did.
So what's another song that we might all know that you like?
Like, you know, something in The Way She Moves, James Taylor, Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond.
What's it?
Pitbull.
I was mocking him.
I was doing a Pitbull thing earlier.
I wrote a Pitbull song.
Which one?
It didn't do very well, but I wrote one.
It was called, oh God, it was part of a movie.
This was back in 2014.
Was it Men in Black?
It was Men in Black.
It was, no, it was called Celebrate.
And it was a...
I just want to celebrate.
And then he did his thing.
And we've been around the world.
Same song.
I'm Pitbull.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm Pitbull and I'm here to say I'm going to rock the USA.
Oh, my God.
I was driving in to work today and I was flipping around FM radio, which I never do, just randomly.
And I heard this song and I'm like, what is that?
And they were, whoever the rapper was, I found out later on, it's Pitbull, was sampling.
Baby, whoo-hoo.
You're the one.
This late 50s or 60s hit.
And I... What is that song called?
Because what I was going to ask you is if you can sing a song that you like and see if it's actually in the key of what the song actually is.
I'm going to sing has uh run away and we're gonna get in trouble because we can't uh do these songs, but it's gonna be a very expensive guest that i am yeah well, don't even say, don't even sing, just sing the.
Sing the first song, sing the first note of a song that you like.
Uh well, i'm gonna see.
Um wow, this is incredible.
Uh like uh, do you know, sweet carola sweet Yeah, not so well.
I mean, I hear the way the Boston Red Sox crowd sings it.
And we know they've been drinking and they've got 40 days.
You sing a lot.
I'm going to give you 40 days.
That's Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks.
40 days.
How about a Jack White song?
We're going to be friends.
Ideally a song I know so I can see if he's correct.
You know, we are going to be friends.
Fall is here.
Oh, you're stumping me.
I usually know every song.
Okay.
It's a very famous song and I'm ashamed of you.
We can get off it if you want, but like I just want, I feel like I want to hear this Cupid by Samson.
Cupid, draw back your bow.
I don't know that song.
What the fuck's going on?
What the fuck is wrong?
I don't know that song either.
Sam Cooke dies so that you could live.
What?
I mean, we got to bring it up into the current time.
What about a Beatles song?
Oh, yeah, a Beatles song.
Well, of course.
We all know those.
Help, I need somebody help.
I think that's B minor it starts off in.
Yes, it is.
Help, I need some.
Is that, did I just sing in B minor?
Well, you're doing it.
In D minor.
Yeah, well, I fixed it.
I often fix Beatles songs.
You know the first chords of B minor, so you definitely have some extra recollection.
I do.
I remember that.
That's fascinating.
Okay.
Okay, I'll admit something.
You talk about this song where you make fun of your prior self and talk about how I used to be cringe.
And I think one of the reasons I identify with that song is that I always want, on this podcast, to underscore that that is the human condition.
It's not the Conan O'Brien condition.
It's not the Charlie Puth condition.
It is the human condition that we are very self-critical and we think our former selves were illegitimate.
And then we've slowly worked our way to legitimacy or we're not quite there yet, but we will be someday.
And I think that's just a fallacy.
So your song was about how I used to do this.
I used to wear my hair differently.
I used to try and throw out these words to seem cool.
And I think yeah, this song is special was resonating with me just because I think I do that about musicians.
I think they're real, you know?
They're real because you can sit here and you can make magic with this keyboard and you can write these songs that two billion people will listen to.
And I think, oh, that's many, many levels above what a comedian does.
And I think a lot of comedians do that.
I think a lot of us lower ourselves around musicians because I just I think we we put musicians on a pedestal, and maybe rightfully so.
I don't think you lower yourself.
You just sang the fucking national anthem. them right to me i think but i i understand i didn't sing it as high as i think i could sing it but this is very i didn't know that this was going to be so introspective this is very continue sorry i won't i won't no i like every now and then Some real stuff breaks out here and we try to clean it up in editing and add fart sounds.
Why do you think you laid the comedians will lower themselves, when?
Well, I think comedians are all about.
Uh, they're well defended.
It's all about- Keep the conversation moving.
Keep the conversation moving, slip and move and make fun of yourself before someone else can make fun of you.
There's a lot of tricks that we all employ Because really, we're just protecting ourselves.
A lot of really funny comedians grew up not being able to fight, and this is what we could do.
And so it literally is kind of a weapon.
It's a survival mechanism.
And these aren't new observations.
This is as old as time.
But I do think that a lot of comedians can grow up thinking yeah, I do this because I literally had to, to make my mark or survive in some way.
Not literally survive, but survive these social situations.
And then music just feels so instantly like, oh my God, that's great.
Do more of that.
You know, when you come across someone who's playing the piano really well, you just think instantly oh my God, that's like God is speaking through them.
And I don't think we think that way about comedy.
God is not speaking through me.
And if he was, God should be sued.
Oh, yeah.
But you know what I mean?
And so I'm not, this isn't false modesty.
This is what I really believe is that when someone is playing with these sounds and manipulating them in a way and creating these patterns seemingly without effort,
I know there's a lot of practice involved and there's a lot of work, but when they sit down and they're just messing around and you see the film get back the recut version of Let It Be, when you see that and you see Paul McCartney sitting with his bass and he's frustrated because they need a song and he just starts over and over again banging and then you see it become the song Get Back through sheer force of will and creativity, and he does it in real time.
And it's this song that, again, is in my head, and I could make noises to simulate it.
I know the scene you're talking about.
Yeah, and he's just there with his.
They need something and he just keeps with a bass, which I did not think of as a songwriter's instrument.
I think it's guitar or it's often keyboard or piano, but he's there with a bass and he's just and he's like okay yeah yeah, I see what it is now.
It's, don't sing too much, you'll have to pay.
McCartney isn't cheap.
And McCartney, he's monitoring this stuff right now himself.
He listens to this podcast because he knows.
Right.
Culture.
I gotcha.
See what you've done.
Because he's the master of none of this is like all of this is not even about me.
It's not for if a musician, the reason.
Well, not the reason.
This is how I'll say it.
Musicians that make it all about themselves are the first to fall, in my opinion.
Because, like it's not this
I didn't invent this chord.
This is like some God particle thing.
And then we apply our human experience.
Right.
Chords like that sounds ugly.
But like when you put. like it starts to resolve.
Like that does something.
That can make anybody.
If there were a hundred people in here and I played like a fire alarm, everybody would, like you know, wince and cover their ears.
But you can, they're not going to do that.
If I do, gonna be like they're not gonna, there's a difference.
Like you can do that, that's a very primitive example, but like you can do that through intervals and chords.
And then it's our goal as humans and job as humans to to to put our experience in what was made for us already.
Yeah, the stage was set.
You know, it's interesting.
The parallel that i always find is because there are certain rules that exist obviously, in greek tragedy, i mean the.
The greeks invented so much great salad, by the way.
Um, oh geez, but um, i just looked at sona, because she's part greek.
Um, Like I invented the salad.
Well, your people did, and I'm proud of you.
You're welcome.
My gut feels amazing every time I eat what you've made.
You're welcome.
But you know, there's dramatic structure.
There's dramatic structure.
And if you look, you know, plays, novels, any story has a dramatic structure.
Sitcoms have a structure, you know, and then you look at, a lot of it is creating tension and then resolving tension, and that's what so much of music is is, you know you, and then you're on the e, you're on the, you know, and then you get back to the a and you're just like there's this feeling of yeah happy happy sad yeah happy tension resolve yeah, and it's just I think it's the soundtrack for most mood stabilizer commercials is you know someone's?
Oh, I don't feel good, I don't feel good.
But then you tried miliastra, you know, and then yeah yeah yeah, and it's usually a ukulele or something yeah yeah, and then, And then all the side effects.
Yeah, yeah.
Side effects include massive diarrhea, more diarrhea.
Your diarrhea will have diarrhea.
People near you will have diarrhea.
That's called sympathetic diarrhea.
They changed the key?
Yeah, they changed the key a bit.
Also, diarrhea in a higher key.
But you know that I remember there's a.
I'm trying to think there's a Led Zepp- Diarrhea in a hierarchy is what the tour should be called.
I'm going on tour.
Or just open with that song.
I think it's Kashmir, you know, da-na-na, da-na-na.
Yeah, we really got to be careful because Jimmy Page-
Jimmy Page is on the same, he's watching on the same Zoom with Sir Paul.
Uh-oh, there he goes.
That's a song that stays forever.
And then it's.
I mean, these are very simple elemental changes, you know, and I don't know, I don't know that song that well.
It's not in my head, but you know it's like it's in, It's almost like it's in E for a long time and then it goes to E7.
And so you can sort of see like the ice is starting to break and it's agonizingly long.
And then suddenly it goes to like A And.
Every time that happens, every time I hear it in any context, I think.
I've just seen the face of God.
And it's the simplest move in the world.
But that is, I think, what a lot of people in comedy do as well, which is you create this tension of what this person is saying is completely outrageous.
And then laughter is the resolution.
People laugh and it's like, oh, good.
We're out of that long sustained E7 and now we're into an AMA.
It's like, oh, yes, this person just saved the day.
And what it is, is creating this unbearable tension and then breaking it.
I've just ruined everything by trying to explain.
People hate this.
I knew walking in here that I was... Your staff is wonderful.
They were like, it's going to be fun.
It's like yeah, I know it's going to be fun, but what you're not telling me is that it's going to be thought-provoking.
I always have really interesting, awesome conversations with...
Dave Chappelle, yourself, Will Ferrell.
It's never.
I feel like the common misconception when you have a sit down with a comedian or an actor is that they're going to be 100 that person that you're thinking of.
There's so much more to that.
Every time, Will's a really good friend of mine.
I'm sure you know him as well.
He's an enemy.
Okay, he's an enemy.
And so is Chappelle.
You can just name my two arch enemies.
I hate those guys.
And they have no talent.
None.
None.
None.
Sad what happened to them.
Anyway, continue.
My media training is...
Whatever you do, don't mention Will Ferrell or Dave Chappelle to Conan O'Brien, because he hates them.
No, they are two spectacular geniuses, in my opinion.
I'm not slapping my knee laughing at talking to them.
I'm kind of really intrigued what they have to say because there's a lot of parallels drawn.
Well, it's the same thing that happens to me.
If I'm talking to you know the times that I've had a chance to have a conversation with say, a Paul McCartney, I don't walk away thinking what the hell was that?
He made no music while we spoke.
You know?
And it's the same thing, because the first time I met Steve Martin, years and years and years ago, when I was a writer on Saturday Night Live, I went into the meeting to pitch him ideas, thinking he's going to have an arrow through his head by 1978, 1979.
Like the jerk?
Yeah, he's going to.
You know there's part of you that thinks that's who you're going to be talking to.
That's him.
Yeah, exactly.
That it would be that era.
That's the era that I first, that's how I first experienced Steve Martin.
And then you walk in and it's this, Very, very serious.
Serious as a heart attack guy who's trying to figure out what he's going to do that week, talking in a very soft-spoken voice.
And he can access that, but he's not going to do that right now.
So...
So that's fascinating.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I am me all the time.
I guess I if you see me at Chipotle, I'm not going to be how you see me on the Internet.
So I guess that's it's the same thing.
It's I have, you know, days where I'm super quiet and I don't want to be.
Like music, music, music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there are days where it's the last thing you probably, I don't want to do that today.
I just want to watch Doug.
Have you ever seen Doug DeMuro on cars?
Carsandbids.com.
I don't think I know that.
No, I don't know that.
It's just this super niche community of car lovers of the modern era.
Like if I can tell you all you need to know about the Saturn view.
Oh wow, i just, i love cars of the modern era.
Cars of the modern era every time.
Anything below 70s, like i don't know what a fucking 79 corvette is supposed to look like, right.
But i can tell you everything about the uh the the, the scion xb, the leaf.
Do you know anything about the lease on leaf?
You know Even phones.
I like that.
I love that.
A guy just going on and on about, okay, I got this Nissan Leaf.
And you know, it runs at 40 watts.
I bumped it up to 41.
This sucker will do, out of the gate, it'll do 35 miles per hour at top speed.
I do know the statistics.
It's a straight four-cylinder, but it's... You got a four under that hood?
In that leaf?
What do you got in that leaf?
You got a four?
Like, do you know what I sit about?
I think about when my wife's trying to watch her heated rivalries and whatever.
Oh my God.
I lay down and think, why?
Did the Yukon Denali in 2002.
I'm serious.
Why did GMC have this beautiful insignia on this chrome door handle on the Yukon Denali in 2002?
And then in the 2003 model year, they got rid of it.
This is crazy.
You're going to say I'm making this up.
I have my notes here for the conversation.
Denali right here.
Why did they lose it on the door?
Right here.
Sona, believe me.
Sona, believe me.
Did you believe me?
I did.
That's insane.
I know.
I'm very gullible.
Why would I go into an interview with Charlie Puth to talk about the Denali?
You were so sincere.
I just brought it up.
I didn't know.
No, I thought maybe he mentioned it.
I don't know.
You're a fool.
To be fair, I thought he was serious too.
Thank you, Charlie.
Thank you.
I have a way of committing.
Yes.
I'm going to say something because we ran out of time a while ago and I've been keeping it going because I'm having too much fun.
I was having so much fun.
I'm shocked you haven't been here before.
And our booker, Paula Davis, I went to her a while ago and I said, let's get Charlie Puth on.
I love him.
I watch his TikToks.
And she said, no, not going to do it.
Not going to do it.
And I kept pushing her and she's like, no.
No, no.
She was like, no, we're not going to do it.
And I said, why?
Why can't we have Charlie on the show?
And she said, because you can't handle the booth.
Oh.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
I can't do this anymore.
I gotta go.
Oh, God.
I gotta go.
What do you think?
Is it the end of the podcast?
No, yeah, it's done.
Good working with you.
That was awful.
Jesus Christ.
You can't handle the poof.
You can't handle the poof.
Listen.
I am so mad.
I thought it was just because I was just recently taken seriously like a year ago.
I feel like people are finally like actually taking me.
No, it's because it lines up so perfectly with you can't handle the truth.
And what I took was, hold on, let me explain.
Let me explain.
Let me explain.
And then your last name's Pooh.
And so I took this iconic, what's this?
You can't give me thumbs down on this.
You're explaining it.
That's the problem.
Now imagine I'm Jack Nicholson.
Yeah, it's bad enough.
You can't handle the.
Poof.
No, that's bad enough you did it.
That's a great, great bit.
Did it end?
I don't understand.
Yeah, I think we're done.
No, no, no.
It didn't.
This is how I wish we had started.
And I wish this had happened in the middle and then at the end as the resolution.
I see.
Charlie, that cup has been empty for a while.
You're just looking for a way out.
It's just lukewarm Erewhon bone broth.
No, what are you talking about?
You are a phenomenally talented young fellow.
And I just knew, because I also, I see your sense of humor too when I watch your videos.
I'm like, okay.
This guy does what I wish I could do, and he's funny, and you're a massive success.
That is such a trip to me because you are such a massive success and I haven't grown up watching you.
It's just so full circle.
None of that stuff, I don't know.
I don't think of myself that... This is me being as honest as I think I can be, which is...
I have been incredibly lucky and I love getting to do this thing, whatever it is.
I won't put a name to it.
But what I love about these conversations is trying to get to something they don't think I'm ever going to crack.
Hmm.
Which is there's this thing we're all trying to figure out.
And now you're going to go off.
And I know exactly what you're talking about.
You're going to go off and play these amazing shows for sold out massive venues.
But you're still trying to see.
Portland's not sold out.
Portland is always tricky.
Yeah, but they're, you know.
They're drinking kombucha.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know if they want to hear we don't talk anymore.
Some do.
Yeah.
Listen, first of all, we're not going to get Portland sold out by alienating Portland.
So I'm just going to say, I can't imagine a better place for you to play than Portland.
I bet it's going to sound amazing.
I mean, great donuts, great people.
They can't handle the booth.
Maybe that's it.
Maybe they can't handle the booth.
We don't have to go back to that well.
We just went back to a quip that was cancerous.
Yes, it was.
I mean, it's toxic.
It was.
It was.
You should apologize.
I don't know.
Is there any other musician you look up to?
Other than me, of course.
No.
I look up to anyone that can make a living doing it.
I think that's absolutely stunning.
And that sounds, but I'm just amazed when, when I mean and my goal getting into this was if I can pay my rent thinking of funny little things or being weird, wouldn't that be the most amazing thing in the world?
That was my idea in 1985.
And it's still my idea.
You know it's like still like that is.
It's not going to get better than that.
Scale of things can change, but the actual mission doesn't change.
So I'm just, I'm blown away when, I mean, I like to sit and talk to people.
If I walk into a hotel lobby and someone's playing the piano there, I'm just, I think that must just be amazing to be able to sit and play the piano and you've got a um, you know uh uh, you've got a standing gig and people come and they listen to you and you get some free drinks.
That's the part I would want.
But you can And I used to.
That used to be one of my odd jobs is i would go well, not odd, i would play the piano at bars.
You can change the room with you know, when you start playing.
Uh, piano man yeah, i won't play any more of it.
But yeah god these, these laws are destroying.
They're destroying podcasts.
Billy Joel needs that 35 bucks.
No.
But you would hear, like you'd hear Rodney Dangerfield sit down with Johnny Carson and he would just like you could, the audience would change just based on the, the diction, and like his delivery and the expectation.
So, like Buddy Hackett or Rodney Dangerfield or any of these amazing comedians, would sit down with Johnny Carson when I was a kid.
And my father and I and anyone else in the room would just be like, oh, this is going to be good.
And that's what happens when you start to hear some of these iconic songs.
When anyone's playing their hit, you...
There's the, oh my God.
Everyone knows what's coming and they're all so delighted and excited for it.
Which is great.
Except if you completely change the arrangement and make it not what it's supposed to sound like.
Right.
The Bossa Nova version of Piano Man.
That's great.
Artistic selfishness.
But even Billy Joel, he says he's and I've opened up for him a couple of times.
One show got rained out, but he's I asked him, do you guess Portland?
No, Pittsburgh.
Oh, damn it.
He even said, I asked him, do you get tired of playing piano, man?
And he was like, I do, but the crowd's reaction is worth everything.
Wow.
That's, you don't quote me exactly, but that's what I remember him saying to me in 2016.
Did he say to you, now get out there and open this show.
I'm not paying you to talk to me.
Well, the show got...
The show got rained out, and I was all bummed out.
He came in.
They were like, Mr. Joel wants to, Billy wants to come in and offer his apologies.
And he came in, and he shrugged his shoulders.
He was like, what do you want me to do?
And we took a picture.
I love a guy that thinks he needs to apologize for the weather.
Yeah.
I'm going to start doing that.
Sorry, guys.
Eclipse.
What can I do?
He didn't have to do that.
No, he's nice.
He was very nice.
Listen, an absolute delight.
Congratulations.
You are a new dad, which is the best thing you'll ever do.
Shout out to Jude Puth.
Jude, what a cool name.
Hey Jude.
That's what we played during his birth.
During the birth?
Yeah.
That's a long enough song.
The anesthesiologist, all the doctors were... That's so cool.
Yeah.
Now every time I sing it to him, he goes...
That and Sing by the Carpenters.
He loves when the kids come in on the second verse.
That's so cool.
My daughter's name is Sandman.
Because we were listening to Metallica.
And that was fucked up.
But you know what?
It turns out I can't- Sandman O'Brien.
Just be careful.
This is a public service.
Be careful what you're listening to.
When a child is born, because it can go any different way, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Delight having you here, Charlie, really, and best of luck on this tour.
You're going to kill it.
Thank you.
No more diving through the internet.
Not necessary.
You don't need it.
You're way past that.
Long time ago.
I agree.
Alright?
My first interview with my permanent retainer.
I just got it right before this.
You just got a permanent retainer?
Is it behind your teeth?
It's behind my teeth.
No, it's right behind these four front teeth here.
Okay.
I don't know why.
Why would you tell me that at all?
Because it's a personal victory for me.
I was kind of like nervous that I was going to talk weird.
No, it was perfect.
Yeah.
And now I have, this is my first interview with an empty colon.
Just there's nothing completely clean down there.
Completely empty colon.
Is that something that we should be sharing?
I mean, completely.
Completely.
Haven't eaten in six days.
We got it.
Just right before the podcast.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I'm an awful person.
Charlie, I apologize to you, to your team.
Thank you so much for being here.
This was so cool.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you, everybody.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley.
Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair.
And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.
Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn.
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