I don't want to say that I'm hot, but the bacon in my pocket is done.
We said turns were five minutes, you bastards.
Oh, hi.
More sauna fun.
Max, can I see you in the hall for a second?
But it's my turn to sweat my balls off.
Don't think the clock's not running while I'm out there.
We're going on a real vacation.
How quickly can you pack a bag?
And don't worry about appropriate evening wear.
Every Four Seasons has a Gucci near the Bulgari store in the lobby.
None of those words made any sense.
I think you've had a spring break stroke.
No, seriously.
There's a car waiting downstairs to take us to a private plane.
We can be at Teterboro in 20 minutes and Tahiti in eight hours.
The Greek is paying for everything.
What did they give you?
What's the last thing you can remember?
Nothing.
I just had some Cristal.
Some Cristal meth?
No.
I'm just really excited.
I went to the after party and met the shipping magnate.
Don't worry.
It's not gonna be sexual.
More like a father thing.
Anyway, let's go.
Finally got us a good vacation.
But we're having a good vacation.
Max, don't take this personally, but you don't know what a good vacation is because you've never been anywhere.
I mean, you walked into that apartment and your face lit up like, like it was amazing.
And that's because you don't know that it's not.
Trust me, I've been everywhere.
And I'm telling you, this is the worst vacation ever.
So let's ditch the bacon freak and the beer bro, get on that plane, spend one great day at the beach and then come back and make 8 an hour.
That sounds fun.
You kind of skipped over the part where we get abducted and Nancy Grace covers the year-long search for our bodies.
It must be Constantine.
He's gonna be upset.
You never keep a Greek waiting.
Oh, my God, Max, we just got an email on our website from that food blogger at the book party.
She said, if we drop off four cupcakes by tomorrow morning, she'll consider writing about them for her column that day.
What's it gonna be, Caroline or Ashley?
Cupcakes or Tahiti?
Your call.
The Greek's still waiting?
He just pulled away.
I'm sure he'll come back here for Ashley sometime.
And when that happens, I wouldn't want to be her.
Well, after tomorrow, you won't be.
What can I do?
You mean after your two personalities meet and kill each other?
Max, I told you I needed a break.
I just didn't know it was going to be a psychotic one.
You really need to chill.
You can't keep freaking out because you're not where you want to be, on vacation or in our business.
I mean, it's life.
Lower your expectations.
This microbrew is actually really good.
Tastes better in the batter.
Hey, crumble up some of that maple bacon for me.
Sorry about that stuff I said about you never having gone anywhere.
Why?
I never have gone anywhere or done anything.
And now I'm thinking that's kind of a good thing, because I can still get excited and make a face when something's new to me.
Because basically everything is.
That must be nice.
All right.
Here.
Taste it.
My beer batter maple bacon spring break cupcake.
Oh my god, you made the something new face.
I did because you made something new.
It's delicious.
Do the face again.