Welcome to the Allie on the Run show.
I'm your host, Allie Feller, and this is where I talk with people who are doing exciting things on the run and beyond.
From professional athletes and celebrity runners to the everyday amateur and back of the pack runner.
We are here to celebrate everyone and anyone who enjoys a life on the run.
Whether you are running towards something big or away from something that's been holding you back, I am here to hold your hand and help you pick up the pace.
My guest today is Carl Radke.
Carl is best known as one of the longtime cast members on Bravo's Summer House.
Through nine seasons on the show, Carl has been really open about his struggles with mental health and drug and alcohol addiction.
Today, Carl is nearly five years sober.
This year he opened Soft Bar, a non-alcoholic bar and cafe in Brooklyn, and his memoir Cake Eater getting high, hitting low and trying to stay in the middle comes out next month.
And on November 2nd, Carl added marathoner to his resume.
This episode was really fun.
I love getting to talk with runners after their first marathons, because the first one, no matter how it goes, is so special and so life-changing.
You'll learn a lot about Carl in this episode, and this one isn't just for the Bravo crew.
There's a lot to take away from this conversation and I really appreciated how open and honest Carl was throughout our chat.
So let's get to the good stuff.
Please join me in welcoming Carl Radke to the Alley on the Run show.
Radke, you know, there are many things we could put after your name.
Carl Radke, author.
Carl Radke, entrepreneur.
But right now, Carl Radke, marathoner.
How does it feel?
And welcome to the Allie on the Run show.
I need another paragraph in my bio now with all the different descriptions.
No, marathoner sounds really, really good.
I appreciate it.
I can't believe I did it, but it's really good to be here.
Thank you for having me, Allie.
I'm still feeling the vibes from Marathon Sunday.
Yeah.
As a New Yorker, what was it like?
And we're going to break down all the nitty gritty.
But part of what makes this race special for so many is it's your hometown race.
How'd that feel?
It was, I mean, I don't even know how to describe it without sounding so real.
Like, like I'm selling something or I'm like drinking the Kool-Aid.
Oh, you drank the Kool-Aid.
We're all, but we're all drinking it too.
So you're in the right place.
It's, it's the best day in New York city, hands down, no argument even allowed.
Like the entire city, comes together, the.
You know the volunteers, all the folks that help support the race.
And then the people that come out from you know their apartments and homes and cheer and hold signs.
And I mean, there was like a million people out on the streets from what I understand.
And then this year there was, I think, 60,000 runners.
So I think there's like seven or 8.2 million people in New York city.
And like, Two million of them are out on Marathon Sunday, you know, out there.
So I just the energy, the community coming together, these stories and inspirational people running.
I mean, I've seen people in wheelchairs, people that, you know, you wouldn't expect to run.
And that combined with just the volunteers, the energy of everybody.
It's just an amazing day.
Like I had an amazing experience.
I say all this.
You should have interviewed me right after the run.
Cause I might've said I'm dying right now and I'm struggling.
It was a very humbling experience physically.
I trained, I did.
You know I have a coach who really helped kind of get me set up for success.
But even all the training and prep for your first time, nothing prepares you for that for the first time.
There's nothing like, unless you were like Justin Bieber going on tour.
That's the only way I can explain like the crowd, the energy, the screaming, the excitement, because it was unbelievable.
Is there anything that you wish had prepared you for that?
Or do you like and appreciate that it was so much and like the sheer shock and volume and sort of overstimulation?
Are you glad you weren't fully prepared for that?
Or do you wish that someone had said like, Hey, it's going to be a lot out there.
I mean, I, I did get some prep, you know, not everybody, you know, is in a public position.
Like I am, you know, I've Been on Bravo for a long time, and a lot of people have followed me along.
And over the last, you know, I'd say two years, I've shared a lot about my running.
So a lot of people were aware that I was out there.
And I told, you know, I had my name on my chest.
And it was amazing, all the crowd.
But I'm not kidding.
From the moment I got off the Verrazano kind of whatever, that Bay Ridge or that part of Brooklyn 4th Avenue, I mean the entire run people were screaming and cheering and going crazy, not only for myself but just other people around me.
But it was funny because other runners nearby me mid running, literally a guy walks up running and he's like who the are you?
And I'm like, I'm nobody.
Like, I'm not, I'm nobody.
And he's like, why is everybody screaming for you?
And I'm like, cause I'm on a reality show.
And he's like, okay.
And he just, he just flies by me.
Oh, no further questions.
He didn't want to know which one.
He just was like, got it.
Bye.
And then you know, another guy comes over and he's got his phone in his hand and we're running and he's like, can you do a video for my wife?
She's a huge fan.
I'm like, sure.
How does that feel?
Like when you're running a marathon, which is not easy.
And I know you're going to be really nice and be polite about it, but like were you like?
Hey man, I'm dying out here?
I mean, I, it was funny in the moment, but I was also like, I'm trying to keep my breathing.
And but to answer your question, like it's an amazing feeling to have people cheer and root for you and support you.
And I.
I also feel like I'm giving energy back and I'm a kind of person when you scream my name, I'm going to look like I.
That's what you do when someone calls you out.
And it was hard, almost after a while, to maintain focus on running versus like high-fiving and hugging every single person that was screaming.
Cause I'm that kind of guy that would want to give that energy back.
But after mile 19, that mile 20, I could not give any more energy back to the crowd.
I just had to stay focused on, you know, on track, but.
I'd say miles one through 17 or 18.
I did everything I could to absorb it, to use it, to have fun with it.
I hugged, I high-fived, I took pictures.
I stopped where I met, you know, I saw my friends.
I saw friends holding signs.
My dentist, who's one of my favorite people in the world.
She had Carl balloons, you know the C, the A and the R, the L, And I came down First Avenue after the Queensborough and I'm looking, I see to the right and I'm like that's my name in balloons.
And I'm like, who the hell would do that?
And I saw the face and it was my dentist, who's a very good friend of mine, her husband and a couple of their friends who I know.
And I'm like running closer and I realize it's her as I'm getting closer.
And I'm like, yes, hug.
But that was, yeah, it was just incredible.
But I will say the, for a first timer, like you need to kind of hold some of that energy in.
I don't started to hit a wall at 20 mile 20 just because I was giving back so much and probably could have fueled and ate a little better.
But I don't know.
I got through it.
It was very humbling, but I want to.
I'm gonna run again.
Um, I'm running next year for sure yay, and now that I have a little more understanding of what goes on, I think I'll have a better experience.
I had a great time, but I the last was incredibly challenging and once I got through the finish line I was still really, you know, just mentally, physically exhausted.
But it wasn't until maybe an hour after I kind of cooled off, got some hydration, I sat down, stretched.
I'm like okay, I did it.
Yeah, like it felt really accomplished.
And then I actually had my time incorrect from what I thought in my head it was.
I was like 15 minutes better than what I thought in my head.
So I was mad at myself when I finished because I'm thinking I'm a certain time.
I texted my guy friend's group chat and my friend goes, no, dude, you were this time.
And he screenshotted the app and he's like, no, you were four hours and four minutes.
I was like, oh, actually, that's good.
That is a great time.
That's a great time, period.
It's especially a great time for a first marathon, and especially in New York which, as you learned, not an easy course out there.
No, I don't think I clocked the difficulty.
I mean, Again, being my first marathon, I've heard, you know, the major marathons.
You hear about Berlin, you hear about London, you hear about Chicago.
But, you know, New York seems to be like the creme de la creme.
But what I don't think I realize is it's difficulty level, probably one of the toughest.
And you know the I luckily living here, like you were asking, it's your hometown, it's your streets.
I trained in a lot of the areas that the route was on.
And that gave me a lot of confidence in the Marathon Sunday because I had been over the Queensborough.
I'd been through the Pulaski Bridge and across Long Island City.
I'd run through Central Park and done the loops.
You know, I felt really good.
The one area I didn't tackle was Harlem and Bronx.
And that was the areas that really gave me the hardest time.
Well, now you know for next time.
Now I know.
But I want to shout out there was an amazing woman in the Harlem area.
On first stab, as you're kind of weaving up and back around, it was an area where there wasn't a ton of fan or people watching for whatever reason, but there was a woman with oranges or clementines.
She had like a, basically like a plate out or like a tray.
And it was just oranges or clementines.
And I say these, I'm like, I need this.
And I just grab a two clementines and they were the greatest orange clementine I've ever had in my life.
And I thanked her and I just kept moving.
But whoever you are on first down, I love you.
You're amazing.
Thank you for your oranges.
My gosh, I hope she finds you.
I hope there's a connection made here and you can properly thank her.
If I had asked you right at the finish line, will you do this again?
Did you know right away that you were going to want more?
Did it take some time to say, I will be back?
No, I knew I wanted to do it again because this is just the competitor in me deep down.
I didn't do it.
I didn't compete the way I wanted to.
Like I'm deep down in my body.
I didn't do what I wanted to do.
I set a goal to break four hours and I didn't do that.
So regardless of how close you are to the goal, I didn't meet the goal I set in mind.
So I want to come back and get the goal.
And I learned a lot about my training and fuel and like eating.
I'm six foot five and I burned.
I think my watch told me actually I have it. nearby.
It was almost 5,000 calories.
I didn't eat 5,000 calories the day before, let alone the morning of.
So my body, I don't think was properly fueled, even though I tried, but I was anxious.
I was stressed.
I was nervous.
And when you're anxious and stressed for me, I don't eat as well as I could.
It's harder for me to get food down.
So I think there's an element of that, that next time I'm, I've done it.
So it's like it's, And I think eating a little bit better will allow me to finish a little bit quicker time.
What were you anxious and stressed about?
I've been putting this out there publicly for the last six months.
And, you know, I come from a world in my life where I've had a lot of ups and downs.
And sometimes I wait for the other shoe to drop, like something bad is going to happen.
And honestly, like I was like in my deep, dark, anxious mind thinking, what if I don't finish?
I just embarrassed myself with these, you know, I did run clubs.
I've been raising money.
I've been helping other friends kind of get in their journey.
Here I am acting all confident.
Like I know what I'm doing and I have no clue what I'm doing.
So I have a tendency to kind of fake it till you make it.
And a lot of people honestly thought this was not my first marathon, but the way I acted about it was like I'd run 15 of them.
And yeah, when I realized closer to the race, I'm like, I've never done this.
And it just started to build up on me.
Like, what if you don't finish?
What if you get hurt?
What if you embarrass yourself?
What if you look stupid?
Those were all things that went through my mind, but that's because I put so much out there publicly about running the race.
I'd done podcasts interview after interview.
And I love doing these things.
It's not like a bad thing, but I, it was almost like wearing the gear until you do it.
Like I almost was like, why am I talking so much about this thing that I've never done before?
So it gave me a lot of anxiousness and nerves, but I worked through it.
It was something that I'll never have to experience again because I've done it now.
I now know the ropes.
What was your relationship with the New York City Marathon like before you ran it?
Had you been out spectating before?
Was it a part of your life in any way before you were a New York City Marathoner yourself?
This is a great question because I've been in New York City almost 12 years now.
And last year, the 2024 New York City Marathon was the first time I've ever gone and spectated.
Now, for the previous 11 or 12 years I was either hungover, didn't really realize when it was, didn't clock it, just didn't plug into that.
But timing is everything.
Last year one of my colleagues that I work with at Softbar, my new business that I opened in Brooklyn his team.
He comes from a restaurant and bar called 11 Madison Park.
And 11 Madison has some chefs and bartenders that run the New York City Marathon.
And they raise money for, you know, a food organization or like a food bank.
So last year I went out because I live in Greenpoint.
I literally woke up in the morning.
I look outside across the Pulaski Bridge and heading into Long Island City.
I see like the elites running and like, you know, some action.
I'm like, oh, shit, the marathon.
So I went outside to the base of the Pulaski, which is mile 13.
And there's a band.
There was people everywhere.
It's signs cheering.
And then you see a wheelchair go by.
You see a woman in crutches, not crutches.
You see a woman with a prosthetic leg and she's busting her ass.
You see an older gentleman, an older woman.
You're like, oh, my God.
And then you see people flying by.
And then there's tears.
There's emotion.
I left that morning after seeing my my friend Richie run that day because he knew I would be stopping at somewhere on the track or on the way.
And I was tracking him on the app and I kind of stepped into the street knowing he was coming soon.
And I spotted him, he spotted me and we had this amazing hug and I'll never forget that moment.
But I walked away from that.
I said, I got to do this, but I knew I couldn't just sign up for it.
I needed to like put the right steps in place.
So I started, you know, doing more five Ks.
I started doing run clubs.
I did a half marathon last April in Brooklyn.
So it was last year was the first time I've ever watched the New York city marathon.
And then a year later, I ran it.
That day when you went out and watched the marathon.
You know anyone who's watched you on TV over the years.
We know we've seen this evolution where you're getting up and you're going to the gym and fitness has become a pretty big part of your life.
Running specifically, when did that enter your life?
And do you remember when you started calling yourself a runner?
That's a good question.
Even when I drank and was using lots of hard drugs and, you know, really just not in the best place, I still woke up early and worked out.
You know, back in old.
I mean, that's how I started to make myself feel better from the drinking or the partying.
I was always up in the morning running or working out.
Now, I wasn't running five K's.
I was probably going to Barry's and getting a mile and a half or two miles and sweating it all out.
Now, in the last I got sober in January of twenty twenty one.
And I would say since 2023, I've really found, you know, running in different ways.
Like I've gone to mile high run club before I do berries.
And then I started to run outside more and just get three, four miles at a clip.
But I would say I started calling myself a runner last year in 2024.
But now officially, I think I can because I actually did the marathon.
So it's for me like I was always very there.
I was in good shape even when I was unhealthy as a person, and working out has always been like a tool for me and to help feel better, to take better care of your body.
But now it's almost like for my mental health and feeling balanced and feeling more just in a good place.
It's really helped my.
I have anxiety and depression and I try not to.
You know I don't like to take Xanax or drugs.
You know, I just, I'm sober.
So running is a excellent resource for those who have some mental stuff going on.
You know, if you're struggling with your mental health, I would suggest getting outside and trying to run a little bit and see what happens with that.
So like you said, you started getting involved in run clubs.
How did you find them?
Which ones did you start going to?
And what did you make of this whole running community once you really immersed yourself in it?
And welcome, by the way.
Happy to have you.
Thank you.
Good to be here.
Release Recovery is an organization here in New York.
I'm friends with Zach Clark, who started the company.
He has a reality TV background, which is kind of our kindred spirits in a way.
But Release Recovery does a lot of work for people that struggle with addiction or mental health.
And they do run clubs.
They also sponsor a lot of runners for the New York City Marathon.
So last year, they did a couple of shakeout and run club things leading up to the marathon.
And I participated in those and was kind of supporting other friends that were running last year.
So that was kind of the first foray into like meeting up in central park doing a loop, eating some Joe's pizza after hanging out.
And I was like, oh, this is kind of fun.
And then just slowly after that, I was invited.
Uh, I got invited to a club called pitch and run.
So it's like a startup founders run club where you can meet up on the west side highway 7 30 in the morning on a Friday.
It's entrepreneurs, it's founders, it's business development, it's tech, it's fashion.
It's all that.
Stand in a big circle.
Hey, Carl, welcome to the club.
Tell me about your business.
So I was like, oh, shit.
OK, so I started like pitching my business.
People say that's awesome.
Great.
And then while we ran, people would kind of buddy up with you like hey man, I got to start up to some of yours while you're running.
So that was another club that I had kind of integrated in a little bit.
And then.
Yeah, I think those are the two ones that I plugged into the most.
I mean, we've done some events after that with a few different run clubs at times.
But yeah, release recovery is the one that I kind of have focused on.
And that is who you ran this year's New York City Marathon with, which is awesome.
We're big fans of Zach here on the Alley on the Run show.
He's been here a couple of times.
We love Zach and all that he is about.
My goal in all of the running was, yes, it's personal.
It's something I wanted to accomplish for my own self.
It was a goal that I set.
But at the same time, it's not lost on me that, going through this experience, but sharing very out loud about the experience, my hope is to inspire other people, not necessarily to run a marathon, but to do something good for themselves, do something bigger for themselves.
Yes, I'm running for me, but what I was doing is raising awareness and raising money for release recovery and what the funds and the dollars that go to release recovery, it actually pays for someone's treatment that can't afford it.
Believe it or not, Rehab, counseling, mental health stuff.
The good stuff generally is expensive.
And not everybody has those resources.
Not even myself.
Like when I really struggled six seven, eight years ago.
I couldn't afford to go to a release recovery.
No chance in hell.
But now I'm in a position where I can raise awareness and use my platform for good.
And my goal was let's raise some money for someone who can't afford rehab or mental health treatment.
That's how you make this really meaningful.
And Zach and the release, they've sponsored tons of runners.
I think we raised almost 750000 for this year's New York city marathon across all the runners in the organization.
And that covers a substantial amount of treatment for people that cannot afford it.
So awesome.
That at the end of the day is what it's all about.
Not the metal, not four hours and four minutes and 25 seconds, not first half mile 18.
It's that you know someone who can't help themselves but can't afford that.
And being able to like extend that, that to me is what the marathon marathon is all about.
That's so awesome.
And I believe a team release had 115 runners at this year's marathon.
I misquoted.
I actually said to someone earlier today, it was 75, which Almost.
I was going to say almost double, but that math does not.
So, uh, that was not my best work, but yeah, 115 runners, I believe with, with release this year.
So, and such a good way, especially for your first marathon, to do it for something more than yourself and to do it for a cause, I think, is.
I think you nailed it in a lot of ways, Carl.
Yeah.
I know that.
I know you want to chip away at that time goal.
I'm all for it.
But as far as the first marathon goes, uh, You nailed a lot of things here.
Let's talk about the training.
And like you said, you were working with a coach.
So tell us about your coach.
How did you find a coach?
Who's your coach?
We'll give this person a shout out.
You probably know her.
And I was just texting with her, uh, just like 20 minutes ago, uh, Kara Dudley.
Amazing.
Kara is a big runner herself.
Um, she just ran the Sydney marathon and I'm speaking for her.
Like, like she's okay with this, but she posted on Instagram and we're friends.
She had her personal best in Sydney.
And it was two hours and 49 minutes.
And I saw her, I saw her posted and I'm like, unbelievable.
Like that's incredible.
But I met her funny enough at another, I was at a fitness event.
This is maybe April.
This just this past April, I'd already run the half marathon was at an event working out.
And it was a, I got a lot of fitness and community things and run you know not run club, but like another workout.
And I'm just casually talking to Kara.
I'd never met her before.
And we have a mutual friend.
And I was just like, yeah, I want to run the marathon.
And she's like, I'm a coach.
I was like, you?
She's like, yeah.
She's like, oh, great.
So it was very organic.
Funny enough, she's worked with Release Recovery.
She's also a big runner with Bandit Run Club.
And she works, I think, with the Brooklyn Track Club.
She lives in Brooklyn.
I live in Brooklyn.
So it was like very symbiotic.
And I met up with her in May.
And I said, listen, I want to do this.
I need your help.
She's like, let's, let's meet up for coffee.
She gave me the deal, set me up on this program.
And I started training earlier than most, which was like around end of May June, and got the apps, got the I got the watch, got all the things that you need.
Cause I you know, half of the battle, I think, with running is just having the right equipment and the right fueling and understanding what the hell you're doing.
Like I don't know how they did it four years ago without all this tech and just get out there and go.
Um, But now there's a lot of resources like apps and the watches and the wearable and even the shoe technology.
So she really helped me get kind of integrated into the running world and advised me on the right you know, the right gels to work with.
Some of the shoe brands I was taking a look at, even some of the other equipment you know, like the belts and all that good stuff.
So Kara is amazing.
I probably could have done it without a coach.
I come from a background of team sports.
I love having coaching.
I like being led or leading.
And it was important for me to partner with someone who's done it, who really was able to meet up with me and go running.
Give me some feedback, give me some guidance.
She gave us a huge training module leading up to it, pages after pages of what to expect, what to look for.
It was an amazing investment and she's an amazing person.
So I'm really lucky to have Kara.
And you know I was actually texting her cause I'm I don't want to.
Well, I'm going to tell you now I'm running the London marathon in April.
He's hooked.
I love it.
I just told her that, and I haven't seen her response yet.
She hasn't replied.
So she might've three dots that keep going away.
Yeah.
Just get ghosting me.
Um, no, she, she's obviously, I would love to have her train and help me again for the April, um, London marathon, which I'm going to be running in support of release recovery again.
Amazing.
Amazing.
All right.
I love this.
You finished the marathon a week and a half ago and you already have your next two marathons planned.
This is exactly what we love to hear, Carl.
I mean, it's been, you know, it's been amazing.
I've never met more interesting and cool people through the running community.
And there's a lot of more like-minded individuals that I didn't expect to meet.
You know, it's been men and women, young and old, that I've encountered in the last four to five months.
And it, it's contagious.
Like I want to keep coming back and I want to keep building my running journey.
And, you know, like I said, I'm competitive.
I would love to do what Zach Clark did last two Sundays ago, which is like three and a half hours.
The guy ripped through the course was feeling great after.
And I'm like on my deathbed.
You know, I see Matt James, you know, out there eating pizza and opening Pokemon cards.
He was carrying, someone gave him a watermelon.
I'm like, how did like, what?
So I got some, some improvements to make.
And for me, I love surrounding myself with people that want to do good for themselves and help other people.
And it feels like the running community is like, it's all of that.
You know you have smart successful, just great people that have all kind of found this running journey for different reasons.
Um, and it's just been a really healthy, positive thing for me that I didn't expect to find.
I mean, I mean, I know people run, but it's, it's another, it's different for me personally.
So you take this on at the same time you are opening a business and you have a book coming out.
So no, uh no, not a lot of downtime, I'm imagining, but what role did running play in your life while you had so much else going on?
Was it ever stressful getting these runs in or did it add to what you were already doing?
That's actually the most important question I think you've asked today.
I think running single handedly saved me during the last year, with all of the new things that I'm doing.
You know, I opened a business in Brooklyn that we constructed basically from scratch.
We took over, you know, an old industrial garage in Greenpoint that we've turned into like a very high design bar and cafe.
I've invested a lot of my own capital into it.
I've spent a lot of time and energy raising money and traveling the country trying to build this concept.
That's one thing.
Outside of that, all summer I was filming.
I wrote a memoir, which I've been working on for quite a while now, and it's finally coming out.
I also have a podcast that I'm launching above our space in Softbar.
We have a studio and a office above Softbar.
So I'm launching a podcast with Sony that's coming out early next year, but we're starting to record.
We've actually started recording tomorrow.
And maybe we'll have to have you on, Allie, at some point.
But the amount of things I've got going on the one constant and one like safe place has been running.
And it allows me and I'm not sure if everybody else feels the same way but while I'm running I can kind of work through stuff, but you can't react to it.
Like, you could be like, all right, **** that person.
Like, I don't want to deal with them anymore.
But you're not going to, like, pull out your phone and say, I'm not, like...
You process it.
And then by the end of the run, I'm like, all right, they're not that bad.
We're just going to not work with them again.
Like or we need to close the loop on this thing.
Holy shit.
And I sometimes get reactive.
But while you're running, you can't react.
You can just think about it and process it.
So working through business stuff, working through personal things, it's like this weird like batting cage of like life in your head while you're running, like you're just kind of taking swings at stuff.
But it's not the real thing.
Like you're allowed just to work through it all and then kind of assess it after, but it's allowed me to process shit.
And I'm sorry for my language.
It's just a much more, I don't know like healthy way, you know, versus like sitting on my phone and be like, Oh well, screw that guy.
And you run, you immediately say, screw that guy versus like, think about it, process it.
And that's something that running has really helped for me, but it's kept me sane.
Um, There's a lot of stress in opening a new business.
There's a lot of stress in sharing a lot of what I've shared in a book and publicly.
Not stress, but just it's vulnerable.
It's a little overwhelming.
So, yeah, it's been the constant in my life that I can find that it just helps me.
Like everything else is OK after I get a run in.
Oh, I love it.
Sometimes finding the time, I will say I'm fortunate I'm single.
I don't have kids anymore.
I have all these things going on, but I do have some freedom to run.
Now, if I had children and I have friends that have kids and I'm like, I don't know how you do that.
That would be really hard.
So I'm very fortunate that I have more time to really invest in the running journey.
But I'm a morning runner.
So if I don't get it in from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m., I don't run that day.
That's just how I've been.
Now, I do run at night, occasionally a run club or something I'm invited to.
But my sweet spot is first thing in the morning because it sets me up for the rest of the day.
And that pays off on race day, because you're no stranger to having to get up nice and early and get yourself to Staten Island.
I mean, that was easy.
That was easy for me.
I was already awake at like 345, get my electrolytes going, get the bagel going.
But yeah, I've had some good practice of just early rising.
I've always been an early guy.
They actually say like there's some Connection to the time of day you're born.
So I was, I was born at like, I think in the morning, early morning.
And there's something I believe in.
Like if you're a night person or a morning person.
It typically can connect with the day of the time of day you were born and came into the world.
So if you ever to peel back and learn what time of day you were born, I might show some indication of how you like the mornings or evenings.
Cause it's funny.
I have friends that are just night owls and, I've always I'm five thirty in the morning.
My brain is peak alive, awake and thinking clearly, thinking good.
So the running that early is it's been great to be able to get out there and run.
And in the summer, you got to run earlier.
You're going to die out there.
Yeah.
How did you find the long runs?
Those are so important for marathon training.
Were you doing those with friends, with running groups?
Were you doing them by yourself?
Let's hear about the long runs.
Long run.
I always did by myself.
I listen, I love running with people, but until someone actually figures out a way to like talking and running is fine.
But if I'm running with other people, I don't want to not listen to music just because I'm with you now.
But as soon as you're with other people, the music goes away.
And I don't like that.
I wish someone would wear like a fanny pack or belt that had a big speaker around it.
So everybody hears all the music while we're all together.
No one does that.
I don't get it.
You can do it.
Okay.
I was at the London marathon in April and I was at a group run and this guy leading the group run was wearing a backpack.
That was a speaker.
So we just need to get one of those for you.
Any interest?
Do you ever see a soft bar run club?
Yes.
So we actually, it's funny.
We've been hosting some run clubs at our space.
There's actually a Sunday morning just this past weekend.
It's called the yard Williamsburg.
They had about 50 people show up Sunday morning to meet up at Softbar.
They went for a couple of miles and then finished back at Softbar.
We are doing an actual turkey trot from Softbar the day after Thanksgiving.
Now I know some people may not be around, but we're starting that kind of initial run turkey trot event and then going to continue from there.
But yeah, Softbar Run Club, absolutely.
You know, we're kind of in the neighborhood of all the running.
I mean, our neighbors down the street are the bandit vital, the rock climbing gym.
We've got other ship, which is the bath house and sauna.
There's bath house.
There's within, which is acupuncture.
We have all of like the wellness stuff right around us.
And I think we're perfectly kind of positioned for like, you know, post-workout pre-run post-run.
Um, but yeah, the I was going to say like the long runs for me, I do better when I'm just very laser focused by myself.
Um, if someone texted me, Hey man, you want to go for a 20 mile run?
It'd have to be a really good friend or something.
I really want to be nothing against it.
I just, I get, I have ADHD, so I get distracted.
And if I'm with someone for 20 miles talking the whole time, I'm going to go insane.
I get that.
I very much get that.
Yeah.
It's kind of, it's also like nice to have your time when there's nothing else you need to do.
No one needs you.
You can just listen.
What's on the playlist.
What do you generally listen to when you run?
It can be dependent on the time of the day.
It's like super early in the morning or depending on the weather.
I love EDM and house.
I do love rap.
I'm a huge rap fan.
I like rock.
I mean, I'll I could go like I'll give you an example.
I'll go from like Fred again, who's a DJ and EDM that I love, to Jay-Z to like a country music artist that probably not a lot of people have heard of, back to like a 70s soul song.
But what i have been doing, which i got interviewed about, which i think is kind of people thought this is funny and i'm like i don't know why people don't do this.
I run through brooklyn, i'll put on jay-z.
I run through queens, i'm putting on naz.
I love it.
Like you run through harlem or upper, upper east or upper west, throw on asap, rocky or cameron and the diplomats or or mace or you know.
And there's something funny about a lot of those songs, like especially Nas literally I'm running on the street that he's rapping about while I'm running.
And there's something even layered in like that experience.
For me, I love lyrics and stories and people's backgrounds.
So while I'm running through the Queensbridge area and through Astoria, I'm like listening to Nas talk about these streets that he's literally rapping about.
It's really cool.
Did you have music on during the marathon?
Could you even hear it?
I didn't even have headphones.
Yeah.
There was an article that went out on the weekend and I got interviewed at the marathon party we hosted.
And she asked about my running experience.
I was like, yeah, I raw dogged the marathon.
I think I saw that actually.
She's like, what do you mean?
I'm like, I didn't wear headphones.
So the headline of this thing is Carl Reiki raw dog the marathon, which is it's, the most absurd headline.
I've had a lot of interesting headlines over the years, but this one was, Takes the cake.
Another friend of mine was twofold.
The crowd is so loud.
Your your headphones aren't going to do a lot, except in areas where there isn't crowds.
Yes, the Queensborough Bridge, maybe some other areas coming over the Verrazano.
But for the most part, you're going to have loud screaming and cheering most of the time.
So your headphones are literally doing nothing.
The other version is be present.
Take it all in.
And I know it sounds absurd to most people hearing out loud, but I ran for four hours with no music.
I ran with crowds and people cheering and there's music on the streets.
You can smell people handing out goods and treats and just the energy of it.
I wanted to be fully present.
And for me, that was what I did.
But on its face, it sounds insane.
I mean, I am insane, but I...
Honestly, we'll never.
I mean, I don't know how you run a marathon with headphones.
How?
Like there's cheering and yelling like you're barely going to be able to hear it anyway.
So why?
See, the thing about running New York as your first is not every race is New York.
I mean, and you're smart.
You're doing London next, which will be equally amazing in its own very unique way.
But it is hard to go from New York to any others.
Not all of them have nonstop crowds the whole time.
But New York takes the cake.
Well, that makes sense, though.
And I also, the third thing I'll say is I have very, very big ears.
It's something that I believe.
It's just something that I have.
I have very big ears that stick out.
I'm sure you can see them on the camera.
I mean, my nickname growing up was made fun of a lot, being Dumbo.
Like, I have big ears.
But what's funny about my ears is headphones are very difficult to find.
Most AirPods don't fit in because my ears are just so unique.
And then anything over the ear, it's like it falls off.
Okay.
Okay.
So what you're currently wearing is kind of what works usually the best.
Oh, like the huge podcasting headphones.
All right.
I'm going to send you some Shox headphones and we'll see how those, have you tried them?
I did.
I just, I got a pair of Shox.
Okay.
They're good, but they're not loud enough for.
Yeah, I know.
They're not loud enough for.
I'm just basically wearing something that's going to bother my ears the whole time and not be able to hear music.
I'd rather not wear that.
All right.
Well, we'll keep, we'll keep workshopping it.
We'll see what we can come up with.
I love it.
Do you wear headphones for the marathon?
I wear, um, okay.
New York.
I wouldn't New York.
What I would do is I would have them around my neck.
Like I would have the shocks headphones.
I would drop them down and then I would have them in case I wanted them like for the Queensborough.
But also I think that it's kind of nice having quiet for like two miles of the race, because at that point you're like okay, I think everyone dreads it because, oh my gosh, two miles of quiet.
The other 24.2 are very loud.
So yeah, Um, yeah, depending on the race.
I the last time I ran a marathon, I listened to a podcast for the first like hour and a half, just because it was like like running with friends and kind of helped pass the time.
And then I turned the music on.
Yeah.
I, I do like to have music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean I'll.
I'm sure I'll encounter her another run at some point where the headphones may be more of a thing.
But I had a a friend of mine last year who told me last year he's like, do not wear headphones.
Yeah.
I like that advice.
I like that advice for New York, especially.
You don't need them.
There's so much stimulation.
You're going to get to the finish and be like.
I'd like to sit in a quiet room for a little bit now, please.
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Let's go to race weekend.
Did you have a lot of obligations?
You know, like you said, you had done a lot.
A lot of people knew you were running this.
You were in the media.
You were one of the celebrity runners running the New York city marathon.
Did you have a lot going on in the days leading up to it?
Or were you like going to the expo and putting my feet up?
I had a lot going on.
And I'm, I'm a yes person generally.
And I like showing up and being social and there was a lot of like a brand and events and run club meetups and celebrations of the, the organization we were running with.
It was all good stuff.
And actually it was like kind of cool.
Cause it kind of builds that momentum towards the Sunday.
You know, there was something on, I think it was Wednesday.
I went to an event.
I was, I worked with Hoka on, you know, for my running gear and everything.
They supported me with the shoes and my apparel.
They had an event on Thursday.
I was going to go, but we got this crazy rainstorm.
Oh, the storm.
So I didn't go to that.
I'm actually glad I didn't go, because it was just I would have gotten sick and it would just would have been icky.
And then Friday I did go over to the expo, which was incredible.
And I met up with the release recovery, all the runners that were running on Sunday.
We went to Tao on Friday for lunch and Zach spoke and it was just very uplifting and everybody's united.
There was highlights of a few of the runners and their stories.
Um, there was some runners who'd run the year before.
So it was just like bring the energy up and just get you in the mode.
Um, I yeah, I mean I definitely learned.
I think I need.
I didn't get my metal engraved after which I know is like a big thing you're supposed to do.
I I, it was just so.
There's too much going on to even get that done, but I feel pretty good about all the events I attended prior.
Um, And it was actually just awesome to see New York City.
Just, you know, every store and brand is talking about.
You know a shakeout or this or that.
It's amazing, but it's a little overwhelming.
I almost needed like a guide to take me to like all the different stops.
Yeah, a lot happening.
Also, now that you've done it and been right in the heart of it, isn't it crazy that you've lived in New York all these years and just weren't aware that it was going on?
I feel like once you're part of it, you're like wait, there's other things happening in the city this weekend.
It's like, feels like it's just all about the marathon.
There's no going back.
No, I it's when you're in it, it's like confirmation bias a little bit.
Like you see it more because you're now like very in it, but I think it's continued.
I mean, listen, there's 60,000 runners, which was the most in history.
There's no secret.
This running thing is continuing to build and it's not, I don't know.
I love seeing it.
And I'm actually I'm wondering how New York City is going to have to handle over these next few years, because I believe it's going to continue to get bigger and bigger.
And at some point, it's not going to be able to tolerate 70,000 runners or whatever the number is.
I mean, even I would imagine the Verrazano can't handle 70,000 people all at the same time.
Maybe they can.
I don't know.
But I'm excited to see the future of running in New York.
And as more younger people and other folks like myself who just didn't really clock it, it just makes for a better experience.
More volunteers, more spectators, more runners, more events, more healthy happy, positive people walking around New York City hopefully.
More life.
More life.
We had to get that in there.
I love you.
I love you for that.
Thank you.
All right.
So let's go to race morning.
How were you feeling the Sunday morning of the New York City Marathon?
I had some knots in my stomach.
I'm not going to lie.
Yeah.
Like I said, I was an athlete.
I played sports in high school.
I, I was a pretty, pretty damn good volleyball player.
I played pretty competitively in college.
You know, I've been in state championships for whatever reason, just like I think I shared earlier just the thought and fear.
What if I don't finish?
What if something happens and I trip and get hurt?
What if I sprain my ankle?
What if my shoe breaks?
What if I get a big blister?
I started to get nervous about And some of it that you can't control.
You just got to run your race and do it.
But I would say that Sunday morning at 4 a.m. when I was getting myself together, I was stressed.
Definitely stressed.
I actually turned on my oven.
I don't have like a little toaster.
I have an oven that I put my bagel in.
And I went in the other room to start to dress and do other things.
My bagel got completely burned.
Oh, did you have a backup bagel?
I didn't have a backup bagel.
No, Carl.
So I had to shift and I ate like a muffin and something else.
I did finally get a bagel at the starting line, but I do think missing that bagel did hurt me in the end.
Cause my body, I just didn't have enough fuel.
Like my, my legs, my brain felt fine, but it was like, I just didn't have the fuel.
But once, once I got myself kind of dressed and organized, this is a true story.
I live in green point.
I had to be at the bus at five 30.
I call an Uber from greenpoint to take me to the midtown area radio city music hall.
On a normal day that's 15 minutes from greenpoint to radio city.
No joke, 20 minutes max.
Oh, by the way, the pulaski bridge is right next to me, like i'm in the route, so i get the uber at like 505 and he's like, he's like i don't know how to get into the city from here, so we're doing laps and pulaski was closed.
You couldn't get to the midtown tunnel And I now have a meltdown.
I texted him.
I have an assistant and a social media team that helps me with stuff.
And I'm texting them like, I'm not going to make the bus.
Like I'm going to miss the race.
And I'm like.
I kind of have like I mean, crashing out is the term now, but I call it meltdown, and meltdown ensued in the backseat.
I'm just like, I'm like, we have to get there.
I have to get there.
Like, can you do like figure something out?
We got to get there.
So I call the woman from the Roadrunners saying I'm going to be a little late.
She's like, you have until 5.50 a.m. and then we're wheels up.
That's the best I can do.
So somehow this guy found his way back through Bushwick.
We got on to like the 495 and then came back through the Midtown Tunnel.
I got to Radio City at 5.50 on the dot.
I called her.
I'm like, I'm right down the street.
She's like, we're about to leave.
I can't see you.
We're about to leave.
And I just started running.
And she goes, I can hear your voice.
And I got to the bus.
I get on.
Zach sees me.
He's like, you all right, bro?
I'm like, no, I'm not.
He's like, you're here.
You made it.
But I, from 5 a.m. until 5.51, I had probably, I honestly had an anxiety attack.
Not kidding.
So that wasn't a great start.
But once I got on the bus, got settled, I kind of eased into it.
And honestly, being with Zach was the lifesaver.
I like, he was like a warm blanket and he wasn't like, give me a hug.
He's like, come on, you're gonna be all right.
He was just there and just confident and feeling good.
And it helped me finally kind of get through it.
But that's just who I am.
Like I'm an anxious person.
I struggle with my anxiety and depression.
It's a big part of my alcoholism and my drug addiction.
Like, and that moment got the best of me, but I did make it on time and made it to the starting line.
So, But I learned a lot that day.
Like I forget, like I live in Greenpoint, maybe getting an Uber till Radio City Music Hall on Marathon Sunday might not be the best route.
So give yourself extra time to actually take the subway.
I just didn't think that I had to deal with like closures and road stuff.
Well, I hate that story, but I'm happy it worked out.
Happy that you made it, um, could feel the stress as you were telling that.
And, and yeah, I mean, anyone, you just, you want race morning to go smooth.
Like you've trained, you've done all the right things.
The last thing anyone wants is traffic issues or road closures or anything that's going to derail that it's.
It's controlling the controllables right.
As soon as something's out of our control, uh, we crash out.
No, and I'm, I'm that kind of guy.
I like to know what I'm the expectations and I thought I had it all figured out.
Like I'll get the Uber there.
And then I was throwing a curve ball.
It did work out in the end, but yeah, it's just, I think, first timer.
You know I'm.
I'd never run a marathon before, until a week and a half ago.
So that morning I you can read all the paperwork and all the emails that everybody sends you until you're doing it.
There's just no, nothing like going through it for the first time on your own and just learning what the rules are and what you got to do.
What's the story behind no toaster?
I just don't have a toaster.
I like using the oven for whatever reason.
Just one less appliance that you have.
Nothing against toasters.
I love toasters.
I just don't have one.
Okay.
Maybe before next year's New York we'll see what we can do in terms of getting a toaster, even if it's a toaster rental for the weekend.
So once you were on the bus, did you feel, or did it take a little bit to kind of come down from that stress and that anxiety?
I came down pretty quickly.
There was good vibes on the bus.
I mean it was quiet but like you know, it was a bus of some folks.
I recognize some people, obviously Zach.
There were some of the reality TV people that I recognize, you know, and then the staff from Marathon and the volunteers were Amazing.
I mean, they deserve everything.
I think volunteers for the marathon should eat free for a day.
I love that.
They were really calming and supportive.
So you know, I just just only one, only way through difficult shit is just keep going through it and it will pass.
So once I got I mean it took a good hour and 15 minutes from Radio City to get to the Verrazano and get to the starting line
But once you got outside to the starting line and to our tent area, it all was like okay, like I got the food, I got everything I need.
But then it was like a debate on what do I wear?
Because it was cold a little bit, but then it was going to warm up.
Do I wear a long sleeve?
Do I wear a tank top?
I didn't know what I should wear.
I put on a long sleeve.
Everybody's like, what are you doing?
Like, you're like, no, you're not wearing a tank top.
I'm like, is that what you're supposed to do?
They're like, yeah, that's how I run.
I'm like, oh, okay.
I didn't know most runners on the marathons wear tank tops.
I didn't know that.
Hey, elliot kipchoge didn't, and he's one of the greatest of all time, so he had like a really cool.
He had like a really cool nike situation.
I'll bring my hole puncher next time we can uh, we can fashion one of those.
It's like some jarlsberg cheese or something exactly.
He yeah, i an equipment.
For me it's almost like the deon sanders quote, which is look good, feel good, play good, get paid good.
And I am a guy always in sports where I got to have my shoes right socks underwear, shorts all has to feel right.
And I didn't know exactly what shirt I was going to wear because of the weather.
But I finally like, got that sorted and I just wore a short sleeve Hoka shirt, which I had had ready to go.
But looking back, I wish I wore a tank top.
All right.
These are all the good notes from your first marathon that you'll use as you get ready for number two and three that you're committed to.
All right.
So bring us to the Verrazano Bridge.
You are standing out on the top level of the bridge about to start your first marathon.
What was it like?
Give us the sights and sounds of the Verrazano.
I mean, I think I heard Frank Sinatra in New York playing, which was one of my favorite songs.
And it just makes you feel I mean, just incredible.
It's very motivational.
It's powerful.
And there was military there with the guns and ready to do the salute.
There was a lot of individuals in wheelchairs and other disability that were competing and running.
Seeing those folks was like, I mean, it makes you want to cry, honestly.
It's just like these individuals are about to go on a really insane journey in such a different way than I'm about to go on.
And they're still out here fighting and pushing through.
Um, seeing Matt was really inspirational.
And then just seeing the host of all the other runners, it was like uh, it felt like the beginning of like, this crazy event.
Um, it was all positive vibes and yeah, I don't know.
Like I can't.
I mean, they sang the national anthem New York.
New York was playing um taking pictures and meeting some friends.
Um, but more just like, let's get focused and get ready to go.
Um, it was, it was exciting, but like I said, I, I don't want to keep saying about the anxiety.
I was nervous.
I was anxious.
Like there's no, that's just that's who I am as a person when I'm about to do something I've never done before.
I get very anxious and nervous.
I mean, my palms are sweaty.
Like Eminem said, it's up.
There was no mom spaghetti, but my palms are sweaty, like for real.
Um, but it was all back to what if I don't finish?
What if I get hurt? what if I embarrassed myself?
Cause I had talked about this publicly for so long.
Had I not said anything publicly about it and just went, I wouldn't have been as nervous.
I mean, like I'll say too, like getting to the bus.
I looked at my phone and from Saturday morning until Sunday morning I probably had 75 to 80 text messages from friends.
Good luck.
You're gonna kill it.
And it's like, what if I don't?
So that's just me as a person.
I, and I know that surprises some people and I admit that, but it was overwhelming.
Like all of this, I felt pressure and like I put it on myself.
But in my life I've had things go wrong and I'm just thinking something's going to go wrong today and I'm not going to finish.
That's like part of my brain.
You are someone who is now almost, I guess, 10 seasons into being a part of a show.
Right.
And it's interesting though not surprising that when you put yourself out there so much that you hear from people, you get feedback.
Has this the anxiety that you're describing and the fear of?
It sounds like it's sort of a fear of what people will think and about putting yourself out there.
Has that gotten better or worse over 10 seasons of life?
I'd like to say it's gotten better, but it's certainly maybe gotten worse, I guess.
You know, I care a lot about what other people think.
You know I want to.
I'm a people pleaser, which is something that's a character flaw of mine that I talk about in my AA group.
It's a big part of where I build resentment and why I drank alcohol and used cocaine.
There were things about my behavior that I didn't realize.
I'm just inherently a people pleaser because of things I've been through in my childhood and from my history and my past.
And it was something I've been unpacking and trying to understand more as I've gotten older.
But then you have the television side of our lives.
Um, but that's how it all works.
Like I'm on a show to tell my story about what I go through.
But over the years you dip, you share difficult topics, you share very life changing things.
Um, so you get a lot of feedback and generally the feedback has been pretty good, but I do get a lot of not so great stuff.
So interweaved in all of that, it's confusing.
And what I mean by that is, you'll get a message from someone saying Carl, you've inspired me to get sober.
And then the next message is you.
No, I'm serious.
You're a piece of shit.
Next message.
You helped save my life.
Next message.
You're ugly and the most disgusting person I've seen on Bravo.
Like that's in four messages.
Now, it's not always that way, but I mean, go to the last post I put up with me and Amanda.
Fifty percent of the comments are that I'm gay and I look like something's wrong with me in my face.
And the other comments are he just ran a marathon.
But your face is great.
Thanks.
But, you know, I don't it's just funny to me.
A lot of these messages and comments, it builds on itself after 10 years.
Trust me, I don't like wake up in the middle and I go, damn, Susie in Texas called me this like, no.
But over time you start to worry more about what people think and impressing people or just not giving someone to make fun of you for something.
So in my head, I'm like, I better finish this so I don't get made fun of.
Yeah.
I mean, part of it.
And again, I'm being really, really open and honest with you.
Like, very, very.
Like, probably more than most people who ever come on your podcast ever talk about.
Like, I've shared a lot in the last 50 minutes.
Like, I'm just that way.
You know, I'd rather be an open book.
And I'd rather people hate me for who I am than like me for who I'm not.
Ooh, I love that.
Put that on a Post-it.
Yes.
Hang that up.
I love that.
But at the same time, you know, you get a lot of feedback and just the fear of not completing it.
You know, there's a lot of commentary about my life on TV and I'm not good enough.
I'm not this, I'm not that.
And then that, it builds on itself.
But at the end of the day, just it's noise.
You got to tune out and just keep doing what you think is best.
And honestly, it's funny.
Like I've been able to tune something out and here I am.
I did the marathon.
I got the medal, got the merch.
I did it.
There's really nothing anybody else can say now.
Hell yeah.
A friend of mine texted me who ran last year.
He was an athlete.
He played football at Syracuse.
He was a good athlete and he's a lot more confident in this way.
But he's like, bro, talk that shit.
You did it.
Like you don't have anything else to say.
Talk that shit.
You ran it.
So I'm like, OK.
I appreciate that.
But.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm you know, my experience versus some others is probably different.
You know, just I've been on I trained all summer while we were in the Hamptons.
You know I've been.
I've shared a lot of my running stories on online for the last six, seven months.
So there's a lot of people wondering, is he going to do it?
Is he just saying he's going to run to run?
Like there's all of that nonsense that comes in just with the world that I'm a part of.
Now, if I wasn't on any of that, it'd be a totally different experience for me.
But that's just not what it is.
So.
Well, I appreciate you sharing all of that.
And I know a lot of people listening will as well.
So thank you for being so, so honest here.
And I know you can't tell us but man, I hope there is some Carl training for the marathon content on summer house season 10 when it comes out, because I give the people what they want.
I can, I can say this.
There will be some of that on the next season.
Yay.
Looking forward to it.
It'll be good.
I stuck away a few times in the morning to go get my runs and in the Hamptons, which training out east is not easy because the roads don't have sidewalks and the shoulder is very narrow.
It was really sketchy running in the Hamptons, I'm not going to lie.
But I still was able to get six seven eight, nine miles, depending on what was going on before I started the day.
And that was really helpful.
But yeah, I mean, it's yeah, it's just crazy.
I can't believe I ran a marathon.
Heck yeah, you did.
What was the high point of the day?
If you were to look between miles one and 26.2, what were some of the high points?
I mean, it's just seeing my friends and family and people that support me.
It makes me almost feel bad.
Like I don't do enough to support them.
Like I'm running and I look at a sign.
I'm like, I didn't do that for them.
And something they did that's really important in their life.
So it I don't know like it kind of was eyeopening for me, like how lucky I am and how grateful I am for my health, for my friendships, for the volunteers in the community that comes and supports and allows this whole thing to go on.
It was an immense sense of gratitude and like I'm lucky like I'm really lucky that I have people that come and show up and support.
So that for me I had friends from every mile along the way.
You know whether it was my dentist friend or I saw Kyle, Jesse and West on mile 18.
Release Recovery was also on mile 18 but on the other side of the road.
So I stopped at Release because I saw the flag.
And then Caitlin, who's a good friend of mine, also works with us at Softbar and Release.
She's like, oh, across the street, across the street.
And I'm like, what?
She's like, Kyle and Jesse and Wes are over there.
So I like frogged across through the runners on mile 18.
And then that moment, the hug with the three boys.
I've been through a lot with Kyle.
We're best friends.
Jesse and Wes, I love.
They're great guys.
But the three of us, sorry, four of us have had a really good bond over the last three years.
And I've talked a lot about it with them.
And they've seen firsthand how much I've trained.
And there's just something about that embrace and that hug on mile 18.
That was probably the best moment of the day.
It was just electric feeling.
You know, your friends come out and support you and take time out of their day.
And the energy of that hug was amazing.
So I would say that was probably one of the best moments.
But honestly, getting to the finish line, And just doing it was easily the best part.
But at that point I didn't appreciate it as much because I was mad at myself for not beating the time I thought I wanted to.
Okay, when did that hit you that you weren't going to go sub four?
And again I, of course, will be your biggest hype person and cheerleader and tell you that you should be very proud of a 40425 in your debut marathon.
But when did that start to hit that you were maybe conflicted of like, I'm doing this and...
I'm not hitting my goal.
Yeah.
Mile 21 is when I realized I wanted to, in my head, I thought I was going to do three 40.
Like that's because, based on all my training and I sent you my, like my splits from all my run trainings you would have been like Oh, you should definitely hit three, 30 to three.
No, there's no should in a first time marathon.
I get it.
I know we all do it.
And that's where my head went.
You know I look at.
My average pace on a 20 mile run was eight minutes and 15 seconds per mile.
On marathon Sunday it was eight minutes and 49 seconds per mile.
Where did that 50 seconds go?
40 seconds ago.
And you know, I don't know, but that was something.
Just at the end of the race I or at mile 21, I realized I wasn't going to break three 40.
And then at that point, I'm like, I just got to break four.
So I just tried to chug along and chug along.
And then I realized as I got into the park that I'm not going to beat four um, but just kept pushing through.
But as I got through the finish line, there was a video that I posted or re-shared.
Someone at the finish line,
As soon as you finished, they were, hey, how did it go?
And I had just finished.
I'm like, not great, not happy.
And she was like, she was, I was almost rude to the person unintentionally.
Because she stopped recording immediately.
I'm like, I just finished running for four hours and five minutes.
And you're asking me how I'm doing.
I wasn't doing great in that moment.
And I just said it.
And I'm just like, I'm not, not doing great.
But she like stops recording.
And then I got a message from someone saying, oh, wow.
Like you were kind of rude to that person.
I'm like, I am so sorry.
I was not my intention at all.
Like I did not mean to make anybody feel weird when they were asking me how the race went and I wasn't feeling great.
So yeah, you're allowed to feel however you want to feel about your race.
No one tells you how you're supposed to feel at the end.
I appreciate people being excited and, but that's not how I experienced it.
I wanted to finish first. in a time and I didn't do that.
So I was upset with myself and also questioning my preparation, questioning how I ate, wondering why I didn't do what I thought I could have done in all the training.
Every long run training I did was significantly less than what my marathon time was.
So in my head, I expected to do under four hours because I literally trained that way.
And then it came to marathon day and I did not even get close to that.
For me, that was upsetting.
Yeah, and that's fair.
But an hour later, okay, I did it.
I'm accomplished.
I felt good, but the goal was to break four hours.
The stretch goal was three hours and 40 minutes, and I was way, way off of that.
So that's where that disconnect was.
But here we are now and I'm like I'm just going to do it again and I'm going to beat the goal and actually do it next time.
And the viewers at home or the listeners at home who have this in their ears can't see.
But you did just say that with a very big smile on your face, which I enjoy.
Well, I'm going to do it because I know I can.
It's just I got to eat better.
I got to stay really focused in that first 10 miles and not give energy much back like I did before.
I can't understate.
It's a different experience for a few of us, running the marathon like a Matt James or a Tyler Cameron.
It's a little bit different and it's an amazing thing.
I'm not complaining, it's just not cindy and joe who run.
It's different because of all the stuff i put out there publicly.
I've been on several live news programs in new york city interviewed about the marathon.
I was with the race director um, and the medal was there and i didn't touch it.
I mean i did probably 20 easily 20 different media press interviews for the last four months leading up to the marathon.
So there was just a lot of people talking about me running.
And that was cool, but it was overwhelming for someone being there first time.
It wasn't Tyler's first time.
It wasn't Matt James' first time.
So they were more comfortable with what was going on.
I wasn't because I didn't know.
I didn't know anybody gave a shit about Carl from whatever TV show I'm on.
I just don't think like that.
I'm a very humble guy.
I generally don't think anybody cares or knows, but I was proved completely wrong from mile two through 25.
Every step of the way, someone was screaming my name for the most part.
And it's incredible.
It's amazing.
But for someone that's not used to running that long and all of that volume of yelling, it's something that you have to work through and understand.
I just, I've never experienced something like that in my entire life.
You know, for four hours straight, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, every little step of the way.
So that now that I've experienced it, I feel I'll be able to manage it a little bit better the next time.
But not everybody would have that experience, or anybody that's listening to this right now probably doesn't have that experience.
So I even hesitate saying what I'm saying, because it's it's just different than what other people experience.
Yeah.
I mean, I can say most people are probably like, I'm just happy I finished.
And I'm like, well, I think, you know, when you have, 59,000 runners running a race.
Not everyone is going to be happy at the finish line.
Not everyone's going to make it to the finish line.
You know, there's there's so much nuance on race day.
That was something that blew me away because I finally an hour later, I cool off.
I get my orange jacket.
I'm hanging out with like, you know, some of the friends of the VIP after.
And then I got a message from a friend who said his one friend didn't finish.
He pulled out.
He had a huge blister on his foot and backed out after mile 17.
So yeah, this guy's like a big time runner.
Like he's a bigger following on social media than most people that I know personally.
Like he's got almost a million followers, talks about running runs, all the things did not finish.
So I was like, like he didn't like, that was the fear I had and he handled it.
I mean, I don't know how he handled it, to be honest, but I just knew someone else didn't do it, that was trying to do it.
And I was like, okay.
So it made what I did actually more meaningful, because I'm like okay, someone actually didn't finish.
Someone I knew personally.
And I know there's a ton of folks that unfortunately, you know things happen and aren't able to complete it.
But then you get home.
I went to a Brooklyn Nets basketball game after.
I love the Nets.
I'm not a Knicks fan.
Nothing against the Knicks.
I just have been a Nets fan.
Me and my friend Andrea, you might recognize him on Summer House.
He's a big basketball fan.
So we got tickets to the game many weeks ago.
And I'm like, I'm just going to wear my medal to the game.
So we go to the game.
I get home after the game and I'm watching Instagram and you see the woman who finished in 12 hours and however many minutes.
And you're like, oh my God.
And you like start crying.
And then you see another guy who took a long, long time.
And you see another individual who doesn't look like someone that might be able to do a race finish.
And I'm just like, there's still people out there.
And like the cheering, the volunteers helping these people every inch of the way that it hit home after for me.
Like I didn't clock all of it until like Sunday night, Monday, how this whole thing was.
But in that very first moment of finishing the race and an hour after, I was not happy.
I was very disappointed with myself and just upset with myself, because I didn't achieve the goal that I had set in place.
Well, if I had to guess, you're going to get a lot of messages after people hear this, saying you should be so proud, you should be so excited, and you get to choose what to do with those.
Uh, I I think that your feelings are certainly valid and I think that it takes a while to process not just race day but the months of training and choices and sacrifices that went into it.
So a lot of feelings on race day and they say anything can happen on race day, which is absolutely true.
Yeah.
I mean the good news is is that I fit all the matters that I finished, because that relieved some of the anxiety.
But I'm just looking back.
I'm proud I finished, but I have worked.
I would like to still do.
I mean, there's improvements I want to make and that's just always who I am.
I'm always been this way.
So at least I'm consistent.
Yeah.
If you had to guess which summer house cast member is most likely to follow suit and want to run a marathon.
Kyle Cook.
Saw that coming.
I feel like I could have answered that one.
Yeah.
Is he talking about it?
He is.
He's messaged me and asked some leading questions, which I feel like people that ask those kind of questions are thinking about it.
Yeah.
Now Kyle and I.
The first time we really bonded as friends this is over 10 years ago was at Equinox in Soho.
I used to live on Spring Street.
He lived in Nolita.
We met each other in the Hamptons, but then This is a true story.
I was at the gym working out and there was the same kid I saw out in the Hamptons, right next to me, on the bench press.
And I was like, yo, man, what's up?
And he's like, yo.
And Kyle was a fitness freak.
He loved working out.
He loved running.
He loved taking care of his body.
He was always looking at the labels on a package, seeing what sugar's in it or protein.
That was the Kyle I knew.
And over the last few years, his business and entrepreneurship and DJing, it's been awesome.
But The Kyle I know works out and runs and does all that.
So it would be no surprise to me if he was like, yo, I'm going to really do this.
I think it would be amazing for him to do it.
But I don't know ultimately what he's going to decide.
I'd love to do it with him.
But again, he's his own person.
So I don't know.
No part of me will be surprised when we see Kyle Cook and Carl Radke running the 2026 New York City Marathon.
That'll be fun.
All right.
What is something that you wish people understood about Carl Radke?
You've shared so much in this conversation, which I appreciate, but for people who do primarily know you from summer house, what is something that you wish that they understood about who you are?
Um, I mean, I'm not, I'm not a doctor expert or any kind of guru at all.
I mean everything I've just shared the last hour is just personal things I've experienced and things that i've been through it.
I you know i don't want to sound like i'm some authority or have any kind of uh you know certification to say anything about the running world or addiction or mental health.
I just know it's only worked for me.
Um, so i think sometimes when you share about what you like, what i've shared about publicly, it can come across as like high and mighty, or i'm perfect, i've got it all figured out, or i'm better than you, or and that's quite the opposite um, i'm just as flawed as i've ever been, but i'm just more open and honest about my flaws and embrace that.
You know I struggle with drugs and alcohol and just yeah, just putting my story out there for those that aren't comfortable sharing theirs.
But I say all that because I'm not some expert or guru and don't.
I'm still learning every day.
You know about what works for me.
And I just like to caution.
When you talk openly like this, there's a perception that you're everything's fine.
I'm just, you know, I have ups and downs just like everybody else.
But for me yeah, I'm not some yeah, I'm not like a TED Talk addiction specialist and running specialist.
I'm sure I'm saying a lot of things that a lot of your audience is going to be like.
This guy has no idea what he's talking about.
And that's very true.
I have no idea what I'm talking about 90% of the time.
I was actually very impressed with all of the running lingo, with knowing that the Pulaski is right at the halfway mark.
I actually think you nailed a lot of it.
I think you're doing great.
Okay.
Well, I, as a kid, I always was obsessed with maps.
And now with all of our beautiful Stravas and runners and different tech.
Like I, love looking at the map and knowing where I'm going and what's going on.
I've always been that way.
So with running, it's actually kind of fun mapping out runs and where you're going to go.
And, you know, I ran a lot up in Astoria and through Queens.
And being able to see the city in a different way has been really cool, because it's opened up the city.
I've seen places I never thought I'd see just because I started running.
So that for living in New York for as long as I have, it's been kind of cool to see places I didn't even know existed.
I love to hear that.
Stumbling on them just by running.
Like Astoria.
Astoria is amazing.
Like Astoria is probably the coolest neighborhood in New York and we all don't even realize it.
Oh, you just made so many people happy.
All the people from Astoria are cheering right now.
I would argue that for hardcore.
Historia had a little bit more of accessibility, public transportation.
I mean there are transport, but it's an incredible area over there like incredible area, great food.
There's fitness and wellness.
There's a huge track.
There's bridges that are beautiful.
It's a neighborhood.
And I live in Greenpoint, which I also think is an amazing neighborhood too.
So it just opened up New York in a way I didn't expect.
I got to see places that I wasn't.
You know you can see the smokestacks in Queens from my window, but you don't actually go run by them.
But I did.
Yeah.
Once you become a runner, it is a whole new way that you see the world, which I love hearing this from you.
I'm so excited.
Before we let you go, what is your advice to all of the first time marathoners out there?
All those people who have put in the miles, they're training and they're getting ready to run their first marathon.
What do you want to say to them?
You know, I would lean on a community or a coach or find someone else who's doing the race as well.
I think doing it alone, you can do it.
But like a lot of things for me in the last five years since I got sober and got some help.
You can't do this alone.
So don't think you're going to just wake up one morning and start running the marathon.
I believe you really do need to find a community or find people that are doing similar stuff.
It helps push you.
And so try to align yourself with someone who's running, and I would go about training well in advance of the race.
You've got to really train and get your legs ready.
But the preparation and all that will allow you to have a better marathon day.
I trained for four months, and that's the marathon day I had.
I almost had a panic attack to start the day and when I finished the race I was really upset and really mad at myself.
So it could be...
Your days could go a variety of ways.
But I trained really diligently for four months.
And that's the day I had.
So don't set yourself up too high or too low.
I think I set expectations pretty high for myself.
And that's probably why I didn't meet them.
And that's why there's that disconnect.
But that's how I am in my life.
There's always going to be a gap in what I thought it was going to be versus what it really is.
Expectation versus reality is brutal sometimes.
That's stuff I work on every week at my therapist, that I talk about in AA and yeah, I got to set.
If you can set proper expectations, then you'll never really be unhappy.
But there's always that disconnect which is what fuels a lot of people's unhappiness or depression.
And that's just stuff that I chemically have to deal with and manage.
You know, and that's why I do the things that I do on a personal level is just be honest about.
You know, I struggle with my mental health.
I struggle with these things and yeah, just where it comes from.
Well, Carl, you have so much good stuff going for you right now.
You are a marathoner.
You are a business owner.
You have a book coming out.
Congratulations on all of your success.
Thank you.
It's been a heck of a year.
And looking forward to seeing you at some start and finish lines in 2026.
Yes.
I actually got to start thinking about the training program for next year.
Coming right up.
I know.
It's going to be starting soon.
Kara and I are going to put together a good plan.
But I'll be back again.
And I hope our conversation next year at this time is a little bit different, where I'm like totally feeling very different than how I'm feeling.
I look forward to it.
Thank you so much for doing this and congratulations again.
Yeah, no, thanks for having me.
It's great to be here and really appreciate, you know, you taking the time.
Thank you so much for being here for this episode of the Alley on the Run show with my guest, Carl Radke.
I am loving these post-New York City Marathon episodes.
And still more to come.
Jordan Litz from Wicked will be here later this week.
For more from me, I am alleyontherun1 on Instagram.
My newsletter is alleyontherun.substack.com.
Go over there and subscribe.
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And as always, subscribe to the Allie on the Run show so you don't miss a thing.
You can find me.
Well, I don't need to tell you where you can find me.
If you're listening to this, you did it.
You found me.
So stick around.
I love having you here.
There are so many podcasts in the world.
And the fact that you have chosen this one to listen to today means so very much.
I love this community.
You are everything to me.
I'm starting to feel sentimental.
You can tell the holiday season is creeping up.
I'm so not ready for it, but you know.
I'll take a dose of gratitude and the thankful spirit anytime.
So take good care of yourselves.
Take good care of each other.
As a reminder, you've got this.
You're doing great.
And thank you for joining me on the run.
