These are my personal opinions, always secret professional, when you're making choices about your mental health and well -being.
Politics! Let's talk!
No, I'm kidding. I do want to talk about the division that politics creates, but I'm not gonna bring up politics.
I'm gonna bring up how your values don't align with somebody else's values, and what does that create?
What kind of division and resistance and tension does that create, between the both of you?
But before we get into that, I'm gonna read a question really quick in the TOB Empowerment Group.
If you're not familiar with it, it's on Facebook.
It's called the Overwhelmed Brain Empowerment Group.
I've been running it for years, and I call it the safest place on the internet, if you want to join, it's available for you to join feel free to look for it the overwhelmed brain empowerment group a person wrote a question in there a couple months back and said I'm feeling really lost and unsure about what to do or think my wife and I have been married since I guess around 2000 and like any other couple we've had our ups and downs however for some time now my wife has shown zero affection whether I leave the house come back or work alongside her in the kitchen.
There's no touch no hug and no kiss.
I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but it's been going on for about five to eight years.
I've talked to her about it, that's my emphasis, I've talked to her about it but nothing has changed.
I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do next.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
And some people gave their thoughts and they were very good thoughts.
Somebody actually asked what would you do if you knew that they would never change?
That's a great question.
What would you do if you knew your wife would never change?
Did they answer? Let's take a look.
hard to say, they said.
But I realize that somehow this togetherness, this lightness, the fun, the joking, etc. is simply not there anymore.
Actually, I feel very lonely.
Never change. I would probably leave the relationship.
And then they go on, conversation goes on and it's probably exactly what you think, okay well if they never change this is something I talked about on my show.
If you accept that a person won't change that's how you make your decision or that's what you base your decision on.
You base it on what you've known the trend that it has been.
You base your decision on what has been so that you can move forward with a decision because if it's been between five and eight years the big gap that's why I was emphasizing it.
If it's been at least five years then you know that's the trend it's not going to change it's rare that somebody has been on an apathetic trend for that long and then suddenly changes their mind and says you know I really want to connect again so let's sit in front of the fire and reconnect I'm not saying it can't happen but it usually doesn't because nothing has changed if nothing has changed if there's been no progress there will be no progress I just talked about this in another episode I forget if it was love and abuse my other podcast or one of these episodes but the whole point of making
a big decision especially about the relationship is that you need to make the decision based on what you know and what has been.
You need to make the decision based on what you know for sure.
The facts as they've been up till now.
Because if you try to make a decision based on what you hope will change you may be waiting forever.
Forever is a big word and I don't want you to forever.
I don't want you to wait until so much of life has gone by that you don't have a chance to try something else and this isn't an easy topic you know we're talking about breakup or divorce or at a minimum that deep conversation that might lead to breakup or divorce or could lead to the best change your relationship has ever experienced.
But my gut feeling on this that after five, six, seven, eight years of no connection, what you have here is a lifeless relationship.
And without life, without that vitality, that loving energy, that loving connection, without that, then it feels dead.
And if it feels dead, then you're doing what my wife calls pushing rope it's hard to push rope if you lay rope down on the ground and you start to push it the end doesn't go anywhere you're just bundling up where you're pushing it and it's not going anywhere so you can't push rope so what do you do you have to either pull it along like it sounds like you're doing now this person who wrote in facebook or you have that hard conversation that Yes, might lead to a big change in your life.
I speak from experience.
I've done this. I was in a relationship for a long time from my 20s to my 30s and we got along great.
We had a great relationship, but there were problems. I created most of them, but there were problems. And I can say that now cause we get along with friends online and one day I said, and you know, it's automatic.
Everything you do is now automatic.
I don't feel a connection to you.
We're not intimate anymore.
And it was about two years of that.
It was just no connection.
We were just roommates and barely that.
And so one day I said, what is going on?
What is wrong? I wanted to know what was wrong.
We're not close anymore.
And she said, nothing.
I This is me. I normally say Okay Okay, I believe you.
Nothing's wrong and then continue to get more and more depressed because that's what was happening I didn't feel any connection and I was hella afraid of Confrontation I did not want to face The music so to speak I didn't want to face reality The reality is we weren't really connected anymore.
We weren't in a romantic relationship anymore and that scared me because what if the truth was the relationship was going to end?
I didn't want to face that truth.
I didn't want to face any type of stress like that in my life and of course it hit on my fear of being abandoned and fear of being alone and fear of being rejected all my hard stuff.
But two years went by and I finally decided, you know, I can't be that way anymore, I have to know.
You have to know this person, you have to know.
You have to know, you have to bring out the truth and face it.
The truth is we're not connected anymore.
I feel it and I know you feel it, because we're not close joke like we used to, this is the thing.
When you're with somebody and you feel it they feel it too.
They know it. You feel it from a standpoint where you know they're not into you anymore.
They're into it anymore and they feel it because maybe they aren't into it but they know something's wrong because the way they used to be as different as well.
That's why you might need to face the music and bring up the hard stuff that, yes, could lead to the end, or could lead to something different, but you have to put it on the table, and you can't let it be.
You can't ignore it.
You must face it together.
And how you do that is if she no everything's fine then what you need to do is say no it isn't and you know it we have not been connecting and it's been years you know this you know something's different I know something's different we both feel that we haven't been intimate we used to do this we used to do that we used to laugh we used to joke bring it all up put it all on the table and get ready for some hard conversations and hard truths because that's probably what's gonna happen when you're going to hear the hard truths.
My guess, here's where I was, I'm not psychoanalyzing you.
I'm just giving you my perspective, but my guess is that she has been so afraid to tell you because maybe she's afraid to hurt you.
I know when I was in that relationship, I was so darn sensitive because of my fears.
I used to be so clingy.
I used to want to be around her all the time.
And I used to almost act like a child like she was my mom, but that sounds weird but it is sort of what it was like.
It was like a parent -child relationship.
I just always wanted to be with her because maybe I didn't get enough love from my mom as a child and I brought that need into this relationship which happens often.
And so she was so afraid of hurting my feelings because I was just so sensitive in those ways and she knew I had these fears and she didn't want to hurt me because she did love me, but the truth was she wasn't in love with me anymore and That's pretty much what she said.
I had to drag it out of her I had to say there's something wrong because when I asked her is there anything wrong?
What's going on? She said no, nothing's wrong Then I asked her an even harder question and this is what you need to do sometimes.
You need to bring up the questions you don't want the answers to and I asked her the question, well, do you still love me?
And she answered, yes.
And then I asked the harder question, are you still in love with me?
And she said, I don't know.
And that's all I needed to hear.
I just needed to know.
I mean it was painful, but I needed to know because I don't want to go any further with just you and I looking at each other every now and then and that is the extent of our connection.
I don't want that. So I, you know, two years went by, that's a long time, but you're in this for five to eight years?
Way too long to not have this talk.
You should have this talk within a few days.
You know, it's okay if somebody's kind of out of it for a day or two.
But after two days, what's going on?
We're not connecting.
Are you okay? I just need time to myself.
Okay, great! I'll give you time.
And then a few more days, hey what's going on?
You're still kind of out there.
Tell me, tell me what's happening.
And then you have that conversation.
I remember another time with, the person I'm with now, my wife.
When we first connected.
the first one or two years of the relationship, she was distant and she wouldn't look at me and I finally asked her, and I told this before, so I won't get into it, but I finally asked her, what's going on?
You never look at me.
We barely touch each other.
And when I come home, you're not even like interested that I'm there.
What is going on? And she said, nothing.
I said, I know something's going on.
And by the time I got to this relationship, I've learned a lot, so the beginning of this relationship, I'm not gonna let it stand.
I'm not gonna let it go months and months or years.
This was like a day or two, or it might've been a few days, but I gave her that few days and I said, okay, what is going on?
And I finally pulled it out of her and she said, well, I don't wanna hurt your feelings.
People must think I'm very sensitive, but I've grown a thick skin over the years.
So I said, just lay it on me.
Even if it hurts my feelings, even if you think I'm gonna hate you or even if you hate me, just put it on the table, let's get it out in the open." And she finally told me.
It had something to do with finances and I said, that's what this is about.
I said, why didn't you tell me we could work this out?
This is something that we can talk about and she said, you're not upset, you're not mad.
I If you're worried about that, let's work on this.
Let's fix it. And then she realized it was okay to talk to me and share things with me, and it's safe.
She needed to know that I was safe to share that stuff with.
And then it happened one more time when we got past that and always put the hard stuff on the table so you can get to the truth faster because otherwise it's gonna be stagnant, you're gonna be in a rut, and then years will go by, and it's no fun that way.
I mean, that doesn't have to be fun, but when all the other positive things are gone from a connection with somebody, then what you have left is what you have left and is that what you want for the rest of the time together?
It's not what I want, and so that's why I like to get it out as soon as possible.
I like to talk about it, get it on the table, spread it all out and say, these are all the facts.
This is what I see.
Let's talk about this.
Let's get it out in the open so we can get past it because I have waited too long before.
I don't want you to wait any longer sometimes you do have to find out the truth and it might hurt it might be scary.
When I was in my 30s and I asked her that question my partner back then are you still in love with me and she said I don't know I said well what does that mean that was the question I asked what does that mean and She said, I don't know.
And that night I chose to sleep on the couch or something because everything was up in the air and I had no idea what to do.
And the next day she moved out.
It was that fast. And it was on her mind probably for two years or maybe longer, but it was around two years that that took place.
And so I wanted it to end.
I didn't want it to go any further.
And that's what I'm suggesting to this person.
And if they haven't had that serious talk yet, it's time to, you might have to pull it out of them.
If you're with somebody and the fun times are gone, and you know, if it's a romantic relationship but the romantic times are gone, you need to talk about it.
You need to bring it out.
Don't be afraid of confrontation because you'll end up in a lifeless relationship and there's so much more to life than that.
And yes, it might be painful, but rip the band -aid off, get it done So that you can move forward, even though it'll be the precipice of pain, the the height of pain But at least you get past it I've opened up on this show about plenty of uncomfortable moments that ended up being major growth opportunities you've probably heard me talk about them.
Sticking with the discomfort ultimately made me a better person.
That's why I want to share with you a podcast that dives deep into those transformative experiences it's called uncomfy sticking with moments that challenge us it's got real people telling their raw honest stories of times they chose curiosity over defensiveness in the face of something that threaten their beliefs or identity.
By leaning into the tension instead of shutting down, they emerged with stronger relationships, clearer values, and more confidence to be their authentic selves.
The podcast models principles like non -judgment, patience, and acceptance that are core to mindfulness practices.
Whether you want more productive disagreements or want to be an inspiring leader, or simply want to bring more humanity to online in -person discussions, Uncomfy will show you how sticking with uncomfortable moments can heal divides.
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That's uncomfy, sticking with moments that challenge us.
That's my suggestion to you.
So, that's not about the political divide.
The political divide I'm talking about.
Again, I won't make this political at all.
But what I'm gonna read next will resonate with you, I'm sure.
I think everyone can understand the overall concept of this.
this person in the Facebook group again a Different person said I'm looking for on one hand suggestions and on the other hand I'm probably looking for some kind of connection with others in this current political climate I find it very hard to not be distressed It's important to me to feel safe and have connections with the people in my community these both online and in person What I am seeing through though is such division I turn on the TV and it's always us versus them I have friends on both sides of the aisle and they're all posting if you believe this or that then just unfriend me now I
find these trends very disturbing and heartbreaking and we all Easily forget that we're human beings and that we have loved ones and we are much more than any view or beliefs that we hold We need each other like it or not I'm just sad and that we can forget each other's humanness so easily and I'm frightened for what will happen now when it comes to violence and division in the US.
So my questions are, does this make you feel this way too, or am I alone in this?
And how do you deal with the stress of it?
And I read that instead of watching TV, try to spend more time being active outside but sometimes I forget what's going on and turn on the TV, and bam, I'm taken right back to square one.
Yes, exactly. Well, TV is brain -washing.
When you watch more of what makes you feel bad, you will continue to feel bad.
It is a form of filling your head with repeated information over and over again.
If you listen to my show, you will be influenced by what I say.
I'm not saying you shouldn't listen.
I'm saying you're influenced by what say if you're a regular listener of my show.
So hopefully what I say is of value to you and helpful to you and makes you feel better.
I like to fill my head with things that make me feel better, but I did an experiment once and it lasted about...
it's just stopping now.
The experiment lasted just over a year.
I wanted to know what it was like to get into political conversations with the other side so I created a fake profile and went online and had conversations with people that were polar opposite of my values my beliefs and totally out of with what I believe and they all sucked.
They were all terrible no matter what I said no matter if I eased into it if I provided well -known facts by so -and -so and this place in that place, no matter what I did, the divide got bigger and the the anger got in there and the upset got in there and it was just even though it was a fake profile, I felt awful thinking about oh great now in the morning I gotta read their reply and continue this conversation that I'm not feeling good about I get this weird feeling in my stomach thinking oh my god what are they gonna say next what am I gonna reply to it even though it's not really me but it really
is because I'm just having the conversation and it was just terrible.
It was just a terrible feeling.
And so wrapping up my experiment over the year, I decided to get into one more conversation just the other day and I disagreed with this person and I said why I disagreed and they came back and then they tried to deflect and change the subject without answering my questions and I brought them right back and said, you know let's talk about this subject.
And then they finally said something and I realized this is going to go in the same direction that every conversation always goes.
They are so adamant about standing their ground and what they believe or what they've been conditioned to believe that any resistance I give them will only strengthen their belief.
It works the other way, too.
It works for this side, too.
I'm on this side and I know what I know and I believe what I believe and any time I professed my beliefs and stood my ground, it amplified their beliefs.
And when they said their stuff, it amplified my beliefs.
And it went back and forth.
And that was all I needed to realize, you know, the thing that occurred with this last conversation that I held with this person online.
I finally said, you know, I'm gonna disagree and that's okay.
I'm gonna disagree with you, I think we see things differently, but if we were in person I'd still shake your hand, or something like that.
And he replied, and said something with a kind tone, and said, we probably didn't have to get into this conversation.
I saw the subject matter and I decided to post on it, but maybe I shouldn't have. And it was just a nice wrap up.
And two people really meeting in the middle without agreeing.
And that felt good.
It felt really good, and it really is the final part of my experiment.
Having these conversations and making me realize that and this leads to this person's comment in question and Facebook, it really leads to the idea that instead of continuing to speak your side and stand your ground to connect at a more human level outside of your stance, especially outside of the digital wall that is put up that causes us to be more brave online because social media is a place that most of us can be brave, we can say anything we want and nobody's gonna reach through the screen and, you know, grasp our neck, try to choke us.
They're not gonna do that because they can't, which gives us a little bit more courage to say things that we wouldn't normally say in person.
So the end of my experiment really led to the idea that in order to meet someone who has different values who really feels maybe slided in their representation.
Like I want to be represented by this person, so I'm going to vote for this person instead of putting them down for it or making fun of them or giving them quote facts or giving them real facts, whatever they think our facts are not facts, it doesn't matter.
What matters is, Hey, you know what?
If we were in person, I'd shake your hand anyway, and, um, I'd buy you a coffee.
if we were face to face, I think you'd probably be a pretty great person to hang out with.
That is outside of any political stance, that is, outside of any talk about my values are better than yours, or my I'm more important than you, or what I believe is more important than you, none of that takes place when you're face to face and you can just sit down and talk about how life is.
Hey you went on a boat last weekend, how was that?
I went to the lake and I had a great time it was wonderful.
Really I would like to go on a boat someday too with you.
I sound like I'm reading a script but I'm not.
It's just the idea of connecting with somebody personally outside of their values, outside of the the stances that we take and make.
I remember having friends of different political views and never once having conversations that led to well I just don't want to be your friend anymore it just has gotten more divisive and more stressful because and I'm gonna put this out there because we are all now connected and see everything all the time it's all in the media it's all in social media.
It's all online and on the TV and everything that we believe is put out there, everything that we don't believe is put out there.
But in the old days, we were not a pack mentality, we were a soul mentality.
And so we almost went through the world more humbly instead of...and I'm not putting this on you.
I'm putting it on me instead of having the gang mentality G -A -N -G gang and when you have the gang mentality all of us believe these things and all of you are wrong and it feels more powerful and more righteous I guess and more supportive like you feel supported and it feels really good just like they field is like a gang mentality and those aren't really the right words it's not gang I mean when you think of a gang mentality you think of destruction and violence or things like that or at least I do and but it has given me a new perspective if I was alone with you who had different political views
and we didn't talk about politics or you had different values and we didn't like push each other's values on each other, then we might have an interesting conversation about life.
Hey, you know, I did this the other day.
Really? How'd that go?
Oh it was hard. Oh tell me about it.
That's life. But as soon as you bring up things that are against someone's values and you will not budge and they will not Budge It sucks It goes right back to what I said earlier.
It just it can go nowhere unless You're evolved and they're evolved and you can say well we can agree to disagree on that.
Let's go bowling Or whatever and that is the way I remember life At least before what?
2016 About the time things started going crazy for me and maybe it was before that too But that's when I remember things were getting a little bit more difficult to talk to the people that we've talked to for maybe years and been friends with or been family connected with and Now we can't talk to them.
They think we're being brainwashed We know they're in a cult and it just goes back and forth and if you lose the human connection Just like this person or if you lose the human connection then all you have left are these politics and values and things that of course you're gonna have disagreements with.
Even like -minded people have disagreements on things and you know you just move forward. Okay, that's what you feel and that's how you live your life.
I don't care. I support you anyway.
I love you. That might come down to that.
Hey, no matter what we talk about I still love you, I still care about you.
That's what I started feeling as I finished up my experiment.
How can I love this person?
How can I say, you know we may have our differences here but I still care about you and I want you to be happy and healthy in life and if that's your choice okay I won't talk you out of it.
I just know that if we were in a room together we probably wouldn't have gone down this road and we probably would have enjoyed each other's company.
They might not work out, they may be adamant but what it does is sometimes knock people off their pedestal and bring their defenses down because once you get their defenses up there's often not a way to get them back down if you continue to push it's sort of like um my wife and I if we have an argument it's it happens what's my wife and I argue fortunately not often but it happens we have a when it escalates I listen everything she says I listen I try not to interrupt she tries not to interrupt we actually do very well we're good arguers we do very well listening to each other even though our
our system is elevated you know we just want to protect ourselves defend ourselves and prove our point and we're in this space but as soon as one of us says something that makes sense and we know is true one of us or both of us will back off I remember we we brought up something that was years old the other day we brought up something that was years old and it was pretty intense and she said I'm still not over that or I said you're still not over that and she said of course I am and but you're still wrong it was just it was intense so she said something she said well this is why I did it I said oh
that's fair that's all I said that's fair that de escalated everything that de escalated it to the point where the energy decreased.
Because I acknowledged I validated a truth.
I didn't just stick to my guns, and I'm gonna be right.
No matter what, I acknowledge what she said.
Oh, and she was right.
I said, That's fair.
She left the room and cooled off.
And when she came back, we snuggled and we were great.
It was like, it never happened.
And we just reconnected and it felt really good to, it didn't feel good to argue, but it felt really good to be able to do that and then acknowledge each other and realize that even through the biggest worst time that we could have, the overall structure and foundation of our relationship is built on something bigger than a disagreement I did push her then I really wanted to resolve that because it was still in my mind and she felt a certain way about it and I felt a certain way about it and I just said we gotta get this resolved I want to get this resolved I finally heard what made sense it didn't
make sense before I didn't agree with it before and then she said something that made sense and that's all I needed.
And I think what happened in her mind was finally, finally he gets it.
And I'm so glad he gets it because I don't wanna have this argument.
I don't wanna talk about this anymore.
It's not a good feeling.
Nobody feels good being in that space.
And so we reached that level because I was willing to acknowledge, I was willing to put my defenses down, stop protecting myself, get off my soap box and say, yeah, you're right.
That's fair. I didn't say you're right.
I said, that's fair.
And when I did that took us out of that state of mind.
That took us out of that energy, that, that amplified energy.
And we took a break and she came back and wow, what a difference.
We got past it because we are willing to be wrong.
We are open to being wrong or open to seeing a new perspective.
You know how many couples argued their way to divorce because they didn't take a moment to acknowledge and validate the other person.
They didn't even say, okay, I hear what you're saying And now I understand why you would say that.
They didn't even say that.
They just want to say, no, you're wrong and this is why, pointing the finger.
That's almost exactly what I'm talking about when it comes to pushing your own values onto someone else who has a totally different perspective of life and how to treat others and things like that, because in those times we just want to be right and we just want to prove them wrong and we just want them to see what we know as the truth but what's the bigger picture?
The bigger picture is you know what you're human I'm human.
Let's just meet at the coffee shop and have a great conversation.
We don't have to talk about this.
We can talk about anything else.
In fact 99 % of our conversation will be wonderful but let's just not introduce that one percent that we're gonna have all kinds of disagreements on.
Let's not do that. And so that's what I've learned over the years of my life and this experiment that I did.
And it changes things.
I don't have to go to sleep with this feeling in my stomach that I got to deal with that same person tomorrow because now I see them as more human, even though in the moment they're inhuman, they're just completely wrong.
You know, that would be where my brain goes.
They're wrong and I need to show them how wrong they are, but I know if I do that, if I create the resistance, they're not going to listen to me.
If I show them how wrong they are, it's only going to make them feel more right.
And that's how to avoid things like this is stop showing people how wrong they are.
And that might mean not having a conversation with them because it's just too hard. but reminding them that, you know, if we were together, I'd buy you some coffee, and we'd probably have a great conversation about other things.
Oh, okay. That might be a way to avoid it.
Maybe some people you can't do that with, but that's kind of my thoughts on that.
So I hope that helps with the two people in the Facebook group that asked those questions, great questions, and they can be tough.
They can be tough knowing how to deal with certain people.
And there is a mentality out there sometimes that can be very toxic and will absolutely be a violation of your values and how can you rise above that.
How can you not see that as a personal attack?
You just remember that you probably had a relationship with the person before if you did and then stay out of the hot -button items. You don't want to keep your conversations solely on the very things that are violations to your values or your boundaries or anything like that.
That's if you want.
I'm not saying you have to do any of this.
You can choose to unfriend or just block anybody you want.
Totally your choice, of course.
If somebody is just way too much for you to handle then you don't really have to deal with them hopefully, but if you do, then it might be just a matter of trying to see that they are still human beings with emotions.
And as much as you can try to get past their beliefs and their values, and just see that we all have the same basic needs and wants, and I mean, everyone just wants to be loved.
That may not be true for everyone, but that's kind of my belief.
Everyone wants to be loved.
Everyone wants to be seen.
Everybody wants to be understood.
Some introverts don't want to be seen I understand that.
But you know what I mean.
You want to be seen as someone.
You want to know that you are accepted and worthy and lovable.
At least most of the people that I know these are the higher level values that almost all of us share.
And sometimes we have to revert to those or evolve ourselves to those, to stay out of the lower level stuff.
And if they can't stay out of that lower level stuff, you don't believe what I believe.
Therefore, you're bad and wrong.
If they can't stay out of it and you're trying to connect with them at their higher level values and they just won't do it, you might need to take a break and you can do so with love.
This is how I honor my boundaries.
In fact, I honor my boundaries with love for others.
So if somebody I love is crossing my boundary, I will say, you know, something like this.
It may not be these exact words, but the sentiment is I love you and this is what I won't accept, or I choose not to do that.
I love you and I choose not to do that.
Or I love you and I don't wish to talk about that.
Or I don't wish for that to get in the way of our relationship.
That's how I honor with love for the other person.
I honor myself with love for the other person because it's about me not about them.
It's about choosing what I will and won't accept in my life not putting them down or making them wrong.
It's not about them really at all.
It's about what I choose to have in my life or not have in my life.
Therefore it's not about putting someone else down making them wrong.
It's about just doing what I need to do for myself.
That's where my focus is.
So sometimes you will disagree and then sometimes you have to say this is what I need to do for me.
And somebody who cares about you will respect that and they'll honor it.
And someone who's in their stuff.
Or maybe who doesn't care about you won't respect that and won't honor that and then you might have to put everything on the table, have that discussion, have the hard talk, and maybe it'll go well, maybe it won't, but at least you've put it all out there and found out where they are with everything.
Thanks so much for joining me for another episode of the Overwhelmed Brain.
If you find value in this show visit moretob .com.
That's where you can give, like our monthly patrons do, they give back.
Because I don't know why, but they do.
They find value in something I say and they want to thank me monetarily and I I had to set that up because I was asked how do I give back and that's how you do it so if you're in that space and you have the ability to give back go to more t ob calm and I want to thank the patrons on the program that do that some have been doing it for years I am very grateful for you thank you so much and for a show on how to navigate the difficult relationship listen to my other podcast called love and abuse over at loveandabuse .com.
And if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship, join the program that is helping a lot of people heal over at healedbeing .com.
And with that, always keep your mind open because that's how you make the best decisions.
And be firm in those decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want.
Always take steps to grow and evolve.
You are powerful beyond measure.
and above all and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you you are amazing